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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow
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1,021 Public Reviews Given
1,024 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Joey!

I hope you’re doing well, dealing with all the hurricane aftermath.

This is a lovely ode to our great writing community, covering all the points of why we are here. One tiny thing that kinda bugs me is the GIF right at the top… as a person with sensory sensitivity, I find it mildly distracting. It reminds me of the early-00’s cartoon with the kid with a football shaped head. And if I stare at it long enough I realize that’s not even a real QWERTY keyboard they’re pounding away at… *Crazy* *Rolling*

Scrolling down away from such foolishness, I find the poem itself to be heartfelt and sincere. It took me a couple of reads through to discover the “melody” you were aiming at; for a while I wanted to say it felt rather “clunky,” as if your lines were too long. But looking at it again on my iPad, the tune clicked and now it sounds like it has a really good flow. I see you’ve used exactly 13 syllables per line, which is a fine achievement; when I write poetry and I want it to rhyme without actually using a structured form, I end up being more flexible on syllable counts than perhaps is wise.

My perspective on poetry has matured since I last reviewed one of yours; indeed, I would hope my entire writing instinct has been fine-tuned over the eighteen months or so I’ve been a member here. I can wholeheartedly agree with everything you’ve said here, and I admire your choice of form and rhythm. I used to eschew counting syllables; thanks to Lilli’s Promptly Poetry Challenge, I’ve learned to count them and found it’s not as hard as I thought. Kind of a no-brainer usually, really.

So yeah… if you’re looking for professional advice, I don’t really have any. This is good poetry, and… honestly, didn’t I review it last year? I see the creation date is from ’23. It seems familiar, in a comfortable way. But there’s no record of one, so here ya go *BigSmile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

Another discovery using Random Read and Review, and a delightful one at that.

What a challenge: write an intentionally awful story! But this is so much fun to read, we almost don't realize how ridiculous it is and how nothing really "happens."

I love cats, so of course I was intrigued by Kalyan and his insistence on hating cats. I found the story within a story premise to be engaging and clever, drawing us along as the narrator cleverly (whoops, an adverb!) catches his attention by inserting him into the story. It tapers off "maddeningly" at the end, when the narrator admits she had no idea where the story was going. But we had a jolly good time of it as we plowed through ever more exaggerated dialogue tags and adverbs and painfully slow descriptions of how many fingers, feet and eyes the various characters have.

You have almost nothing of standard story lines here: plot, character development arcs, etc. Yet the theme is ingenious, as we see the characters extrapolated through the absurd situation... If that makes any sense.

Congrats on "worst" first place. It's well deserved!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of LONLEY bucket  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

         What a fascinating subject, which you've chosen to approach with a creative and hopeful metaphor. I love philosophy and contemplations of our minds and how we interact with others and ourselves. You have here a very important thought: though we struggle with feelings of failure and falling short, we should always try our best to press onward and engage ourselves.

         Now, first off I noticed the word "Lonely" is misspelled in the title. You have also chosen to use the term "fulfill" instead of simply "fill." This is a stylistic choice which fits well with your metaphor and doesn't exactly come across as a mistake when we realize you are indeed speaking about the search for fulfillment.

         Then, I noticed you drop the sentence at the end, just when you were getting started with a deeper exploration of the subject. This seems like a simple copy-paste error; I noticed you have duplicated this item in your port, and neither one keeps going past this point. I would suggest returning to this item and adding what you were intending to say... Unless you've run out of ideas.

          I might help you here. If we continue with the same metaphor, we can think of the "leaking" as what we pour out into the world from ourselves. In this case, we need to remember to fill ourselves up with only the best and purest "water" so we can pass it on to others.

This has tons of potential as a lovely, thoughtful philosophical essay. I'd enjoy stopping by to see if you expand it.

Thanks for sharing, take care and by all means keep writing *HeartT*
*Gemv* *Angel*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This is a powerful poem full of wisdom and sadness as it mourns a lost relationship. You have approached the timeworn subject with originality and keen observation, dreaming about how things could have been and indeed were for a brief time. The moment at the end is ingenious enough for songwriting… indeed, if you’ll excuse my love of music, this reminds me of a Taylor Swift song. Perhaps that is intentional; I see one of your genres is Teen. It was also creative of you to select Melodrama as one genre; I remember puzzling over the definition of the term and wondering what the difference is between that and just plain "drama..."

I like the bold font you've chosen here; it stands out on the page and holds its own against our busy WdC sidebars. The meter is free-flowing and conversational, leading us along through your contemplations without being fussy. I had to go back and check for rhymes; your final one is subtle, and the rest is in free verse.

I can't think of anything to suggest here. This is good enough to submit to several contests... I can think of at least three which accept previously written content. There's "Fox's Socks Newbie Poetry Contest" Open in new Window., which is currently closed but I would highly recommend you "fan" it by clicking the black heart underneath the item name (not the one alongside the username of the contest owner, although that would be a good idea too...)

Then there's "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. as well as "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" Open in new Window., which are currently open and accepting entries.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* I hope you have lots of fun on WdC *HeartT*


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Review of First Grade  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Jay, and what a wonderful surprise!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button, which doesn’t usually give me chapters. I’m delighted to read your children’s fantasy with a Christian orientation; I enjoy reading and writing stories for (and about) kids, and I feel like a child at heart myself. The choice of animals to carry the theme is even more appealing and a joy to read.

I didn’t see too much I would offer to advise here; perhaps a second look at use of dialogue tags might be good. Internal thoughts are usually shown with italics rather than in quotes and using a tag, especially to say “I wonder,” he wondered…

Congrats on doing NaNo in 2017. It’s an amazing challenge, keeping the brain sharp and giving one something to map out their month. I wouldn’t mind reading the rest of this if I ever get a chance; your writing style is creative and deeply sympathetic to your characters. The theme of sharing Jesus at a camp meeting was a fun surprise, and I liked how well you described the eye doctor visit, alleviating any potential fears a child might have and encouraging them to engage and learn.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of A Perfect Smile  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Tim! Found you again on the Random Read and Review Button.

Ahh, nothing like a sweet love poem. And free verse, too. Like a letter sent to your significant other.

We see the delight the narrator takes in their loved one and the way he blissfully extols the virtues of their charming smile. One thing that popped out at me is where you said "Earth's ungodly seasons..." I'm not quite sure what the implications are there. Otherwise this is a nice little poem describing the favorite thing about a significant other.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Carly!

Hope your NaNo is going well! I noticed this on my "online authors" sidebar and thought it looked nice.

When I saw "twenty-four," I suspected it was for the most recent WdC birthday celebration. Your note explained it nicely, drawing on the Writer's Cramp inspiration prompt.

This is a poem bursting with hope and good feels, as we see a young lady coming into her own and becoming an inspiration for others to follow in her footsteps.

They say hard work is its own reward, but it's always nice to receive recognition for such, which is in large part why all of us are here on WdC. This poem works as a metaphor for the creativity and inspiration bursting from this site we call home. After so much effort, SM and SMs have a wonderful global community they've made.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Robo-Dad  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I really loved this story. The characters, the scenarios, the setting, the understated way you hinted at incredibly dramatic backstory without data dumps... It kept me engaged all the way through.

I'll try to break down what I like so much about it. You have created a loveable cast of characters: bright, close-knit sisters, a mom who sides with them against the mysterious and frightening father figure, who is only spoken of and we never see "for real," and of course the robots! What a brilliant and charming concept there.

The plot here feels like the opening chapter to a much larger story, setting the stage with many different options for ways further chapters can be developed. I enjoy it the way it is, but of course I always encourage people to try and continue exciting concepts like this one and see where else they can go with them. In fact, it would make a great movie.

One thing I had trouble with is how many different characters were introduced rather quickly. I have a tendency to read very fast because my time online is limited, and the names of all the sisters were bouncing around in my head like marbles. I know this is an old-fashioned and outdated technique, but you could maybe set up a quick cast of characters at the beginning with a couple words about each of them so we can keep them straight.
A dropnote click me! ▼ would be a handy way to do this, so people can check it if they like or ignore it if they don't think they need it.
But it's probably more of an issue with my comprehension than with your story, because you did a great job of showing us each sister through Ria's explaining the long talks she had with her robots as she built them. (A clever way to train robots, indeed! Engage them in conversation and share all the personal details about the people you're designing them for in a warm and loving way. Those are some well-trained bots. I'd love to have one of my own *Laugh*) Anyway, I probably needed to slow down and take my time visualizing the characters better.

Worldbuilding thoughts for your consideration: how do the robots run? Are they solar powered? Do they have to recharge overnight? What happens when their batteries run low? What about that father? Does he work for a kingdom? Is the government involved? I noticed the girls are living in a mansion. Is the main character crippled in some way? I noticed the others seem to carry her. Is that why she's more sheltered than the others?

I didn't see any basic stuff to correct here, and your concept is admirable. Have you got a larger theme in sight? Perhaps dealing with the question of how human can a robot be? Maybe somewhere down the line, the Robo-Dad and the real father switch places and we realize humans have the opportunity to change their hearts and mend their ways, but robots have to be reprogrammed. Or I think I would prefer having the Robo-Dad remain a loyal and steadfast protector.

This is an excellent tale, and I can see a lot of potential for further development.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Randy, and thank you for requesting a review.

This is a well-thought item, and I can see these are characters you've been working with for a while. There isn't much backstory required to understand this quick vignette, though I would be interested in learning more about the characters, how they met, and their goals.

You've set up an engaging and even slightly humorous situation here, with the basics of rising and falling action which make a complete story. (In that case, technically it's not a vignette, but I feel it's a slice from a larger world you're working on.)

As it is, I'm not sure I have anything to advise you on here. The characters are engaging, and the story is to-the-point, with a fairly relieving conclusion.

In your opening paragraph, there seems to be a peculiar conjunction of numbers indicating how long they'd been trekking for. Is this a "quaint" way of putting it, or a mistake?

In your sixth paragraph, the human's speech should best be cut in the middle to describe his actions, rather than leaving the long block of dialogue and the descriptor at the end. And perhaps a word other than "obsession" would do better to try to describe the hungry spirits, because that word makes me think of the old Sodom and Gomorrah story... Perhaps "fierce hunger?"

Where the old man spirit begins to speak, he needs a paragraph break when he's done. And there's an extra comma at "the Dwelfmin swung her mace..."

The sentence "Meredith, loathe..." doesn't come together properly.

Aside from these and other minor typos, it's a great little fantasy story. I'm asking for competition here, but perhaps you could flesh this out and submit it to this month's Official WdC Contest, Journey Through Genres. They allow up to 2000 words.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of April  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Kare!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button, after it gave me something from a person I had to decline for AI content... *Irritated*

Anyway, I like your style of writing poetry. This is compact and creates a clear picture in one's mind, of spring and the activity leading up to May Day.
The form is clever; I see you were writing with a given form, and you did well. I used to eschew following forms and structure, until I joined the Promptly Poetry challenge. The weekly prompts have given me the opportunity to try new things and stretch my mind without worrying about contests or anything.

This was an enjoyable read, providing a quick glimpse into a different culture.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I love seeing how differently everyone works with the provided prompts. We all bring our own personal thoughts and feelings to the table, and we each create something unique from a simple phrase.

This nature poem is splendid, reminding us that even the humble weeds play an important role in life's grand ecosystem. Your words are balanced and conversational, drawing us easily along the free verse as you move from a close-up view of the maternal weed to a larger perspective on worldview and Creation.

I don't have anything substantial to suggest here except for perhaps you have an extra word "they" in the seventh line, speaking of the ants. The identifier doesn't seem to be needed.

This was an enjoyable take on the prompt. Great work!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Quiet Chaos  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I’m here as a fellow participant in the PPC5 challenge.

I love how each of us can take the same prompt and apply our unique experiences and understanding to it, making so many different works of art from the same simple phrase. It's one of the special things about this site... Being able to have many different people working on the same goals, prompts, and concepts to share their special creations.

I can relate to your feelings about stalled projects and chaotic minds. Sometimes creative ideas seem frozen, stuck, somewhere just beyond the edge of my conscious mind. Occasionally I have the feeling like I've had a bad dream about something and can't quite remember it, staining the rest of my day with a sense of looming unrest.

Other times inspiration strikes faster than I can write it down or apply it to my art screen. And sometimes things just fall into place with blissful haphazardness. I have a mind that loves to draw weird connections between seemingly utterly unrelated things, which makes for an imagination somewhere between delightful and stressful!

I dislike critiquing poetry, as my own process is quite instinctive and generally uninformed by any but the most rudimentary guidelines. You've captured the essence of the prompt phrase here, and I have nothing to suggest. Well done (and congrats on getting the first volume of your memoir published *Wink*)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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for entry "quiet chaos" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Neutrality is always hard to come by, and this election was definitely a depressing one, even threatening to break up marriages. Part of me is relieved about the results because I was afraid of what uprisings would occur if the other person won. Part of me is extremely upset because of Medicare, Social Security, and women's rights. I don't know what to think anymore.

WdC is a safe space from such things; we generally hide behind our poetry and stories, although this election has gotten us upset enough to let the opinions leak out. Thank you for approaching the subject in a friendly and evenhanded way, understanding that the election and our political choices don't define us as humans. You've chosen the perfect theme for the phrase "quiet chaos."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings! I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, politics... That land mine riddled field of discussion, better left undiscussed *Laugh* You approach the subject in a simple way that one can hardly argue with, seeing how uncouth and ill-behaved DT has been lately. I know at least one person around here who leans right, and I personally don't know what to think anymore, so I do my best to keep my mouth shut on the subject.

You've followed the form requirements well, and I have nothing to suggest here. It's a reminder to us all that a lot hangs in the balance this Election Day.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Hunter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

I'm reviewing as a fellow member of the Promptly Poetry challenge.

You've handled the form well, weaving together an autumnal tale of a deer that escapes the hunter's bow. I don't believe in hunting myself, but I appreciate the feeling you've cultivated here, of the changing seasons and the timelessness of one moment frozen in stories passed down at the fireside.

I know forms can be frustrating, but I found this particular form to be much easier to write to than I was afraid of. It takes patience and care, but it's not impossible. You've done good here.

I would recommend adding two additional genres to the item so it can be found easily when browsing and also to ensure as many opportunities for Quill Award nominations as possible. You could use "Nature," "Environment," or "Animal."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "A Poem From Nowhere" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

Ah, this was clever. I didn't count the syllables, but I checked your rhymes as they wove skillfully throughout in the proscribed manner. You tell an all too relatable tale of inspiration slipping away with the rush and distractions of the day. I usually get my best writing done at night, when I should be sleeping. There's less fuss then, and the words fall together easier.

Nothing to fuss about here; I admire how handily you deal with all manner of challenges, whether stories or poems.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review. Yours is my 1,000th, so congrats on that *Laugh*

I'll get the proofreading out of the way first: the word for going down the side of a cliff is "rappelling," not "repelling."

This comes across as a rambling free verse poem, with sentences aligned neatly down the page with leading uppercase. I like that concept myself; sometimes there's nothing more relaxing and "freeing" than spilling out one's thoughts in casual, conversational narrative poetry, without care for rhyme or meter. I almost didn't pick up on the structure because I'm reading from my phone (where, believe it or not, about 85% of all my WdC work gets done *Shock2*)

The story itself is whimsical, almost a parody or satire, until one realizes by the end of it your idea came quite simply and literally from seeing a nice lady working at your local bank, or some such mundane real life event. You've let your imagination soar, forming a whole backstory around this lady and giving her an adoring Elvin entourage. You also provided the elves with a larger goal of making the world a better place, which is admirable. No one can argue with these magical creatures.

I observe there's a sharp gender role divide between the girls and boys, which comes across as a bit old-fashioned these days. I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I can't help picturing you as a somewhat crusty old white guy, loitering to chat with the pretty young gals at the bank and dreaming about them after you leave, blissfully unaware of being a slightly sexist nuisance. The gals are polite, but not impressed. I speak from decades of experience, firsthand and otherwise.

Having now dismayed you by stereotyping the living daylights out of you, I'll proceed with the review. I can see this as a fun little story you might tell the grandkids: "I met this beautiful, mysterious lady at the bank today... guess who she really is? The queen of the elves!" Or it could be turned into a fable on improving the way the world runs, which would be a rather tall order.

The idea of an ordinary lady who moonlights as the elf queen, guiding her subjects (she is aware of the elves and their actions, right?) is creative, with interesting potential for building other playfully surrealist folktales off of. I liked the thought of the goofy elf boys running through the streets not to make mischief but to do good, in impulsive and perhaps foolish ways, and the quiet, sensible girl elves following along covering their tracks and cleaning up their messes. One wonders what the boys would do without them.

On the whole, this was fun to read, and I'm not sure I know of anything to recommend changing. Your aim seems to have been to let out some fanciful thoughts which were bottled up in your head, without any particular storyline or overarching theme. In which case, I hope it's served its purpose well.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

Well, this is fun: a whimsically old-fashioned free verse poem about gals dancing. It's cute and creative, though I haven't the foggiest idea why it was written. Was it a celebration of French woman's soccer? Knowing nothing about sports, especially from before I was born, I can't comment there.

You have a relaxed and conversational tone, describing what went on at the moonlight party in the park. I especially like the phrase "the oaks grew lanterns;" that's such a pretty, fairytale way of describing the decorations. And the "waxy croissant moon" is a clever way to describe it "french-ly." Croissant is actually the French word for crescent... Duh *Laugh*

I might suggest you add two more relevant genres to help us understand the theme, and also to make it easier to find when browsing. Perhaps "Experience," "Sports," "Comedy," "Fantasy" or "Drama" would be suitable.

Other than that, I don't have any suggestions for improvement here. Interesting work.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found you again on the Random Read and Review button.

This is a thought-provoking poem, leading us to question the narrator's exaggerated attitude of empowerment. We begin to see how much this attitude has infected real life leaders... more so now than when you originally wrote it.

The wisdom of your parody is indisputable. We all need more humility these days.

I noticed you have a bit of a punctuation error on the fifth line; perhaps a second look and a rewrite would be advisable.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Winklett!

Oh my, this is a good poem. I love the structure and the repetition of phrases with variations. You've put a lot of effort into building it this way... I'm not even sure what the requirements of a pantoum poem are *Laugh*

I fully understand your frustrations with the feeling of being unable to come up with something to write... Having a busy month dodging hurricanes, I hardly had time to write even one story in October, yet I need to write another one or else *Rolling*

Everything you've said is perfectly relatable; I don't watch TV, but I have the temptation to sit back and listen to my favorite music instead of writing "maybe if I hear a song it'll inspire me..." but I usually find the more music I listen to the less creative I am... It's as if my head gets filled with other people's thoughts instead of my own. Balancing my pastimes takes discernment. As a rule, a little music is a great thing for my imagination.

Anyway, I can see you didn't have writer's block when you wrote this splendid poem!I have nothing to suggest here. Great work *ThumbsUpGreen* *Writer*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review Button in the middle of the night...

I see it's a blast from the past, updated most recently in May of this year but stretching back all the way to 2005. I love seeing the names of older members of the site; I spotted Allan Charles's former username, as well as a few familiar names both present and no longer with us. This log is valuable just to keep a memory of those names. Yellow Rose Author Icon is a White Case I'll have to visit. I haven't heard of them before.

That's a lot of GPs you've raised over the years for a good cause. I'm happy to have found this handy list. I noticed a few minor typos such as username codes misspelled, digits misplaced, etc. But it's the thought that counts.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Well, this is a depressing thing to find on the Random Read and Review button *Laugh*

Seriously, you've chosen free verse poetry to deal with a serious and even morbid subject that many people around here prefer to avoid.

Your formatting is excellent, shifting the size font to suit the transition of narrative.

If you are dealing with the real pain and loss of life from a car accident, I extend my deepest condolences. Otherwise, it creates a deep metaphor for that sudden shift from from life into death that we all must face at some point. When I saw your title I remembered the old Rascal Flatts song... You may want to consider a different title, or perhaps your theme is deepened even further by the thought of being cut short as one travels life's broken road which should have led to something.

As is usual when I review poetry, I have nothing to suggest here for improvement. You've created a haunting and memorable poem suitable for the season.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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23
23
Review of The look of Love  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir!

I've seen you long enough in the Newsfeed, now it's time to read something in your port, thanks to the Random Read and Review button.

Ah, a cozy kitten poem. What could be nicer? You encapsulate the cycle of life from beginning to end in a warm and simple way. We can almost experience the loving and trusting nature of the kitten as she grows up in the safety of your home.

The words are carefully balanced, and you taper down to the final realization of aloneness in two words at the end. One hopes you have a neverending houseful of kittens and cats.

As is usual when I review poetry, I have nothing to suggest. This is a nice memory of a special creature in your life.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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24
Review of WHY I LIVE?  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I do hope this isn't autobiographical. I feel profoundly for the narrator's sense of uselessness and that he's outlived his purpose. You've captured a relatable sentiment with your words. Anyone at any age can feel like this. If it's you, always know you're a valuable member of this site and the world.

I love how you were able to put it into meter and rhyme to make it memorable. If I'd seen this when I was a kid, I would probably have memorized it and written it in my poetry collection.

I don't see anything I'd correct here. Good work *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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25
25
Review of Irrelevant?  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I found this on the Random Read and Review button. What a fun story! You've created characters we want to root for and enjoy watching succeed in their endeavors. What could be more relatable than a grandma afraid to sing in front of an audience?

Anshul is a spunky dear who knows what's good for Granny. I love how you're comfortable with your own culture and use it unabashedly in your writing. The names, the big families, etc. People say WdC is a Western, US-centric place, but I find enough diversity to keep things fascinating and fun.

A delightful tale. I don't see anything much to correct. Perhaps the name Anshul could be introduced sooner rather than later.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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