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1,257 Public Reviews Given
1,260 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
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Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
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NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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Review of The last walk  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025... And good grief, I almost forgot *Shock2* Would've had to apologize to Annette...

Aw, what a tearjerker. I remember stories like Old Yeller, from my childhood. I've always understood that pets have a shorter lifespan than humans, and adoption means heartbreak somewhere down the line. That's a large part of the reason I didn't grow up with animals in the household.

You've written with loving care, showing us a boy and his dog as they part ways on that final journey. With no corny promises of the Rainbow Bridge or whatever they call it, you focus on the beauty of appreciating the here and now, steeped in the natural rhythms of life in the bush.

I love the way you've used your local setting to show us something we may not always see. I'll have to look up the little Donkey Orchids. I grew up in a garden, so I know how enjoyable it is to go flower hunting and steep oneself in nature.

These are formative moments, and you've done a memorable job creating a situation which tugs on our heartstrings and offers us a reminder to treasure what we have while it is still with us.

I can't think of anything to suggest for improvement here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

I love the super quick and simple thought youā€™ve put out here for us: strength in weakness, building up by removing oneā€™s flaws and repairing the cracks. Itā€™s memorable enough to scribble out by hand and pin to a bulletin board.

I canā€™t think of anything that might be improved here, so consider this a kindly and encouraging note as I reach todayā€™s 7 badge goals *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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for entry "The Little Things" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kazi!

I'm here for I Write 2025. This is such a wonderful writing and reviewing opportunity they've provided for us. I need to work on my last three blog entries for the Bard's Hall this week.

You're a gifted storyteller, with a poetic voice giving us comfort in what we see. You share a moment of love and joy, showing us how the smallest pleasures in life are the most precious. Capturing these little moments in a narrative form is something special. It reminds me to treasure the little blessings that might fall by the wayside.

I have an affinity for micro stories, myself; we call a story under 100 words a "drabble." In fact, I need to write seven of them this week for a project. Thankfully, I can usually dash off four in one evening *Laugh*

In all thoughts of the future, we must remember to say Inshallah, or God willing. Everything is in His hands. I tend to get so tense about deadlines sometimes.

Take care, thanks for sharing this beautiful snapshot with us, and keep writing *HeartT*


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4
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "Touch" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, the sense of touch. So many nice sensory experiences there are in life: the fur of a cat or a stuffed animal, the roughness of firewood, the cold tile of a floor or the warmth of a thermos of soup.

You've captured some memorable sensory moments here; each one leads to the other in a gradual shift from miniscule to grand, all connected to wind and how it interacts with us in some way. I like the symmetry of it, the balanced line lengths, and the nature metaphors that add more to it than just the bare and simple feelings of "feeling."

I remember one time my mom borrowed a Nat Geo DVD from the library for us to watch, on the sense of touch. I was excited to find out more about the nervous system and perception and whatnot, but we didn't get past the first few minutes of it, because it started off by showing two people snuggling with too much skin showing... *Shock2* Since then, I've been wary of the subject of "touch" *Pthb*

You've made something quite picturesque and respectable here. It's greatly appreciated *ThumbsUpGreen*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

This is such a charming, relaxing poem. I love when you write about the time you've spent in Korea, it's always a learning experience. Using the senses to guide us through it keeps it grounded and real, just as if we were there with you in the springtime park.

The vocabulary is simple, perhaps even trite, but we don't ask for much when it's something warmly relatable like this. Our minds illustrate it for us *Painting* *FlowerP* *Butterfly2o**Butterfly2p**Butterfly2v* *Tree2* *Leaf2G*

Your formatting is always large and clear, and all the pesky details have been handled well. I might suggest using three valid genres for your book item, so it can be found when browsing for poetry. You could use Experience, Personal, Drama, Environment, Philosophy, Nature, Community or any number of others.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Water  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Angelica!

Iā€™m here for I Write 2025.

A gripping story, this. I wasnā€™t sure if it was going to be a fantasy theme, where the unicorns were real, or if it was all just a mirageā€¦ oh no *FacePalm* Iā€™ve just reminded myself of a songā€¦
video ▼

Enjoy!

Anywayā€¦ yeah, this story had me on the edge of my seat. I didnā€™t want the soldier to die out there. ā€œDancing amongā€ should rather be ā€œdancing in,ā€ towards the beginning. Also, it should be clear from the opening that heā€™s driving the Jeep, otherwise we assume heā€™s walking. Also, the picture of the oasis at the end should be more clear. I didnā€™t immediately connect the almost crashing into the tree with ā€œooh, water!ā€ Even though looking back it should be obvious. Oh, I know, you can say ā€œno trees here,ā€ at the beginning. But itā€™s a desert, duh *Pthb* Donā€™t mind me, Iā€™m just ā€œbeing helpfulā€ *Laugh*

Great little flash fiction here, it captures a tense, vivid and surrealistic moment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

Your poetry is always so poetic, even when youā€™re writing about mundane things. I like the large, clear font and the lack of frills or indentsā€¦ itā€™s like how I write my poetry until I start thinking it has to look ā€œfancy.ā€ I see also youā€™ve followed a ā€œsentencesā€ rule for capitalization of opening letters, guiding the words in a natural way and giving proper ending punctuation. I could take a few hints *Laugh*

Youā€™ve captured the uneasy weirdness of nighttime and silence, observing subtly that life is never truly silent, only varying degrees of quietā€¦ or is that disquietude? Sleep is always welcome, except when we need to burn the midnight oil. Creating in the stillness of the night is a special experienceā€¦ sometimes I feel like itā€™s easier to get the stuff out of me without the harsh light of day reminding me what nonsense it all is *Pthb* *Laugh* *Sleeping*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kazi!

I'm here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

I love being able to include these blog entries at I Write; it's hard sometimes to feel noticed when blogging. My latest one, for example, has zero views since two days ago. No matter...

I love the large font you use on yours; it shows up even on mobile, where the sizes come across pretty standard. Sometimes I don't realize someone used default (too small) size until I look at it on my iPad.

Monsoon season? I pray there won't be disastrous flooding or anything. We're leaning into hurricane season here, and the weather people are saying it'll be bad.

Simple pleasures! Such a joy to consider. I just wrote an 8 line poem about some of mine yesterday "Re: EIGHT - 06. 16 & 17 & 18 .25"  Open in new Window. (I'll have to transfer it to my 8 line poetry book...) I'm not sure if you listen to much popular music, as a Muslim; I love music, but I'm super fussy about it for a lot of reasons. It's a simple pleasure for me.

Self harm is never a solution, and I admire your strength in not succumbing to it. Focusing on what brings you joy is helpful to overcome such feelings. I know how miserable I feel every month... Luckily my worst is only about 24 hours. I don't have any chronic pains, and for that I am grateful. Diet is a good thing to look at to make sure you have all the nutrients you need to stay healthy and reduce inflammation. Also, clean water is important. Exercise is another thing that keeps your body healthy.

And... I'm not a doctor, so disregard any of this if it's irrelevant. Best wishes for better days ahead *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
for entry "minute" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Well, since you were kind enough to drop by my minute poem and express frustrated admiration for it, Iā€™ll have to see what you managed *Smile* (also, Iā€™m behind on my 10 PPC5 reviews this monthā€¦)

I see where you struggledā€¦ perhaps the peskiest part of writing a form poem is deciding on the subject. You can always make me chuckle with the fumbling ā€œwhy are they making me do this!ā€ sort of theme. In a good way, I mean. Itā€™s relatable. I was quite honestly dreading this one, because Iā€™m ā€œpanickingā€ about the 4 stories left in Reflections and need to focus. Last thing I wanted to do is figure out what kind of ā€œiambic meterā€ theyā€™re talking about!

So, first I picked the simplest possible theme, one Iā€™ve used before. Writing about writing isā€¦ what you did too, actually. It went a lot easier once I realized I couldnā€™t possibly get full sentences out of four syllable lines. The emdash became my best friend, giving it an artsy flair and forcing us to assume there must be some deeper connection between those unrelated words *Laugh*

Also, a crucial element of good poetry writing is knowing when to eliminate articles, ā€œtheā€ and ā€œaā€ and other potential filler words. Restructuring your thoughts to avoid these words leads to more creative and artistic writing patterns. I believe Brian K Compton Author Icon taught me this technique, and itā€™s truly invaluable.

I skipped the ā€œiambic meterā€ part altogetherā€¦ I think that was some sort of mistake. We canā€™t be bothered with stressed and unstressed in only four syllables, and it was unspecified exactly what meter. Thereā€™s likely no such thing as ā€œquadrameterā€¦ā€

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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10
10
Review of Raindrops  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review *Smile*

You're right, this is a refreshing difference from the other items I observed in your collection. It focuses on a child's enjoyment of the first spring rains, engaging all the senses in a warm and happy memory. Youā€™ve included everything: scent, touch, taste, sight, sound, and emotion, wrapping us in the experience with as much excitement as you felt when it happened.

I like your metrical rhythms; some might say it's too simplistic, but it carries the tune and creates something which I would have liked to write down and memorize as a kid. I had a whole collection of handwritten poetry I'd gathered up and committed to memory.

A few twiddly points... I noticed you use no punctuation at the end of lines. This is fine, I suppose; I struggle with figuring out how to punctuate lines, and it would probably be a lot easier to have none at all *Laugh* You do, however, need to close quotes on the motherā€™s words, ā€œyou wouldnā€™t dare!ā€ I leave it up to you to decide whether or not you need the exclamation point as well *Wink*

Another thing is in the first verse, you write ā€œthe rains are here,ā€ and then in the second verse it says ā€œspring is here.ā€ You may want to vary that by saying ā€œspring has come,ā€ or ā€œthe rains now fall,ā€ or something similar.

Also, perhaps it should be clear in the subtitle that itā€™s written from a reminiscent childā€™s perspective. I see the cover picture but it didnā€™t quite click at first. Perhaps even changing one of the genres to Childrenā€™s would make it more appealing. For that matter, a larger font size than default is always more appealing and engaging.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
for entry "Courtyard" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, Brian, and it's a pleasure to read your work again for I Write 2025 *Smile*

This is an easier to follow narrative than your deeply personal blog entries, anyway. I at first thought of the basketball courtyard and wondered if it was a sports metaphor. But it's a straightforward love story: the narrator sadly watches other couples proposing in the beauty of that special place, knowing his own was somehow unfulfilled. I believe the relationship faltered because of barrenness, but the ending renews hope that even without the longed-for child, the lovers find solace in each other.

This is such a touching poem, saying so much in so little. I would like to babble a little about my pet project, Reflections. I've written so many heavy emotions and dramatic moments into it, and there's still several serious themes left. It's like a soap opera. I've had to navigate my main character and his wife through heartbreak, pain, death, crime, loss, the multiverse and a few more lighthearted moments. They've healed, recovered, forgiven and reconciled several times. Poor Dan should be suffering from PTSD by now, and likely his wife as well... Which makes me think. I need to include as much depth as possible as the overarching narrative reaches a conclusion... It shouldn't just be a gathering of crazy detective action stories. There needs to be some character development, change, growth, maturity reached. And yet, each story has to be independent of the others, able to be read coherently on its own. It's harder, even, than a novel *Crazy* But it's so incredibly fun *Delight*

Well, I've managed to write more about myself than your poem *Blush* I should be blogging, with all this blather *Laugh* I guess that means you're inspiring me *Heartt* This was a fine read, I really appreciated it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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12
Review of Alone i Break  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review.

This is dark, delving into a man's inner turmoil as he feels he has no one left to reach out to. We see him employing every bleak metaphor in the book, creating a steady, metrical rhythm that is both cliched and unique in the impactful heaviness it conveys. With hammer like beats and a direct AABB rhyme scheme, it presses home the anguish and hopelessness of depression as it builds walls around the narrator. He reaches out in desperation and finds no one who can or is willing to help or understand. It hurts as we share his pain with striking phrases like ā€œsomething sacred slowly diesā€ and ā€œghosts of wars I couldnā€™t win.ā€

I get the feeling it discusses PTSD from wartime, a soldierā€™s lament as he deals with the consequences of things beyond his control.

I feel silly admitting this, but I'm tempted to pop it into an AI to see what they might remark on. But you aren't paying me for a service you could have for free *Pthb* It's just that sometimes when I'm presented with a poem, I'm at a loss to come up with deeper observations and considerations about it.

On my first perusal, I couldn't help reflecting on what I know of darkness like this. I'm not much into heavy music, but I'm a big enough fan of Imagine Dragons to share this with you as something which echoes a similar sense of hopeless ending:
video ▼

I looked at your portfolio to get a better idea of your style. It appears you often consider the gritty things of life in your writing. I'm not against that; we should acknowledge all aspects of our reality, and it isn't always fun and roses.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to create a clearer and more engaging reading experience across devices. On my iPad, it looks like the poem is several verses too long, for instance, giving it a boring, repetitive and tedious feel. If you need help with the formatting, you can click on the question mark in the row of tiles above the text entry box.

I noticed one of your genres is Biographical. If you really feel this way, know you're not alone and there are ways to get help. The US has a number now, 988, for mental health crisis care, similar to 911.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

What a nice little story about the mother sow. You must've had an interesting life out on the farm. The memory of your mom walking Marilyn to her "new home" would make a touching end to a movie of some kind about farm life, growing up and animals. That's amazing how well the sow carried her piglets; it must've been quite a sight to watch them all feeding!

I don't have anything to suggest here; it's a fascinating snapshot of something unique in your life.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
14
14
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025. You and Brian K Compton reminded me of the possibility of entering these blog posts to Annette's challenge. I almost never submit blogs, for whatever reason. This year only judged items can qualify. Anyway...

It's always interesting having a slice of life down under. I believe you and Steven are the only ones from there. I had to Google "bandicoot," as I haven't seen that critter in writing since I was a kid reading the biology textbooks.

Your encounter was striking, reminding us of the cycle of life and the way the ecosystem functions to bring balance. If we didn't have higher predators, the lower rodent type creatures would overrun us. Sometimes I question the validity of such a setup in civilized areas... You might not be aware of how monstrous the alligators are in Florida. They eat pets and people... It's not an exaggeration. Even hawks... Have you seen the YouTube video of the hawk flying down to someone's windshield in an attempt to capture a kitten inside on the dashboard? The hawk was flummoxed *Laugh* But it wouldn't have been pleasant if he'd had his lunch *Sick*

Such is life. We must respect the creatures and try not to get in their way as they do what they have to. I'm glad the bird's dinner didn't land on your head *Vomit*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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15
15
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "April 27, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Smile*

Iā€™m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I was browsing your book item looking for entries that caught my fancy, and this one really struck a chord with me.

Paper: that magical substance capable of holding all our thoughts, dreams, aspirations, heartbreak, joy and entire lives "to have and to hold" for as long as it doesn't crumble away to dust.

I relate to your appreciation of paper and how much it meant to have the written word as a child. I wrote so much growing up, forming worlds of pug dogs, sentient stuffed animals and Wind in the Willows sequels that were both childish (naturally) and yet reaching out for something deeper, something profound.

The images of you hauling home that beautiful colored paper feel like they imply you built physical things with the sheets, like construction paper. But I think it's a lovely metaphor for everything we build on a two-dimensional sheet. The simplicity of your choice of beloved childhood toy is heartwarming. I hope you have found yourself in your words over the years.

This is a fine little poem with nothing I could think of to change. Perhaps a gentle rumination of a couple lines letting us know how much of what you wrote was fulfilled in some way would help give it a well rounded feel.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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16
Review of Building Block  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

Oh my goodness, this is so beautiful! I love the message and the innovative way you've told your story! You weave in and out of a fairytale world and teach us all a valuable lesson about self-love and maturity. Your words are so creative and heartfelt.

I relate to the castle on the mountain you used to see as a kid; growing up in Middle Tennessee, there was a castle on the mountainside overlooking a highway; we would drive past sometimes and it was always such a fun sight. Castle Gwynn, home of a yearly Renaissance festival. The thought of that landmark burning down would be quite sad.

Your experience scrubbing castle walls as a teenager was poignantly ironic, making you wonder how your dreams would ever come true. We follow your journey as you grow and gain wisdom about your true self and relationships with others, eventually finding your happy ending in the mundane comfort of a loving, hardworking husband and a safe home, even if it's a ranch house with a mortgage.

The style is charming, taking the castle concept and drawing enduring life lessons from it as you apply the theme to your past, present and future. I like the bold font and centered text, and the free flowing rhythm feels almost like it rhymes even though it doesn't.

What can I say? This deserves an award! Go submit it at "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. so we can all appreciate it and see how it gets acclamation. And let me know if it doesn't, because then I'll give it a ribbon myself (I'm a terrible cheapskate *Blush*)

Have you ever tried using the {photo:###} as the cover art for your items? I believe I was able to do that in the most recent Short Shots, when SM changed the provided image from an {image:###} to a {photo:###} if that makes sense. Items always do better when they have a cover pic attached.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
17
17
for entry "Arrow Flung" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, Brian!

Iā€™m here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

Does that say 56 ribbons *Shock2* Heavens alive, thatā€™s mindblowing *Mindblown* Iā€™m happy youā€™re getting the recognition, respect and honor you deserve around here. You have a unique mind thatā€™s always fun to poke around inside *Cool*

Ah, the flight of an arrow. It reminds me of the Longfellow poem, https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44624/the-a... . Oh, now I also remember the Bible verse about children being ā€œarrows in your quiver.ā€ I believe thatā€™s what inspired Dan Reynolds (born Mormon) to name his first daughter Arrowā€¦ but I digress.

I like your confidence in giving Webbie and Steph poetry in your blog; I know they said itā€™s ok and even encouraged, but Iā€™m always concerned itā€™s not relevant or interesting or ā€œbloggyā€ enough. This is the first time Iā€™ve tried their Bard's Hall blog challenge, and my head is spinning with all the stuff Iā€™ve assigned myself to do this month!

Youā€™ve expressed existential dissatisfaction and confusion about the meaning of life, which is always relatable as I ask myself the same things every day. Indeed, sometimes I lean into Nihilism, ready to give up on achieving anything if everything means nothing and we're all a bunch of corrupt sinners anyway *Pthb*

Totally random thought: doesn't the "absence of wavelength" indicate death? *Skull* I can't think of anything to suggest you change, add or "fix." You know how difficult it is for me to be critical of poetry. I see the arrow, sent with such practice, so much effort, aimed at... Nothing? Sending one out, there should be a target. What should humanity be aiming for? So much potential for consideration packed in here; I really appreciate it.

Oh, by the way, that story you liked so much placed third at Short Shots *Delight* Just thought Iā€™d let you know because it took longer to be judged. I couldnā€™t have placed without your helpful insights *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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18
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "Silence" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

Iā€™m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

What a wise and philosophical theme, inspired by the prompt. I was thinking along these lines myself, of the eeriness and impossibility of total silence in this universe. In fact, they say the Universe itself is constantly singing, or releasing vibrations at a melodious pace *Shock2*

Life is meant to be lived, and no matter how hard we try, silence is not an option *Laugh* You've captured some of the vibrancy of life here on earth. I appreciate this.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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19
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

This is a clever, creative and deeply thoughtful use of the prompt image. We see temptation offered in the form of sweets, coffee, and the affections of two charming guys... Or so it seems! Out heroine shakes off the spell and continues on her way, much to our relief, as we realize just how much of a trap she narrowly avoided.

Your bold font is clear and sharp, and the free verse paints an engaging picture of what lies within those cafe walls.

Fourth line from the bottom, the word ā€œtheā€ repeats twice. ā€œDark chocolate golden eyesā€ is almost impossible to conceive for some reason, but itā€™s a memorable image. You can remove the excess WML at the bottom, since we have the image at the top. Also, you may want to throw in a cover image of some kind, just to help it stand out in case someoneā€™s browsing for poetry items.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
20
20
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Carly!

Iā€™m here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

This is a lovely, relaxing little storyā€¦ I hope that doesnā€™t sound condescending. I know itā€™s not the usual exciting tale of drama, action, or character development, but stories like this, that engage the senses in a soothing, easygoing way, are a genre in their own right. Something like "cozy comfort" or similar, I can't remember exactly. It's kind of a modern thing.

Anyway, it actually sounds rather autobiographical, in which case it must have been an enjoyable time indeed. It's almost like a journal entry in that regard, capturing a glimpse of three friends having a good time in nature.

I have to point out, this appears to have been written and published quite hastily. You've settled for the default font size, which on my iPad is a tiny and boring font indeed. I would highly recommend using Size 4 Verdana for clarity and a more engaging reading experience. A friend of mine likes to compare the default font to a used car contract, and he's right *Laugh*

Next, there are about a dozen minor typos scattered throughout, indicative of a rapid typing up. I know one's fingers can fly all too fast on the first draft, but that's what Grammarly is for. I would highly recommend you go in at some point and clean up the typos for a more professional appearance. ("Publication-worthy" deserves a hyphen, otherwise it's quite difficult to parse right there in the opening paragraph.)

Other than that, this was a fun read. Is it a vignette of some characters you're working with at the moment?

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, and welcome to writing.com!

I noticed this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked intriguing.

I love this peaceful story of determination and strength, set in Nigeria. The context is rich, with subtle, well researched details that place us into the geography of the area. Just for fun, I Googled the name of your village and the only result was this item on WdC *Smile* Isn't that cool?

You have enough gentle, realistic conflict here to keep us awake, but nothing too upsetting or dramatic. It's a soothing, optimistic story about the possibilities of what one can do for the people back home if one works hard enough. Some people may be cynical and object to such a happy ending type of thing, but I think this is a great story for children to give them hope to dream big, no matter their circumstances.

I would highly recommend you add a cover image to this item, so it stands out against the wall of bland items in the lists when one browses. Speaking of browsing, you should also use a third relevant genre, rather than "Contest Entry." Using all three relevant genres gives you more opportunities to be discovered by readers, and also as many opportunities as possible to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest "Nature," "Women's," "Technology," "Foreign" or "Community."

Also, I saw this first on my iPad, but I can't remember if you settled for the default font size. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana, which can be found by using the row of tiles above the text entry box. If you need any help, you can check out "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. or click on the question mark between the script M and the smiley face on those tiles.

You may also want to add a word count to the top or bottom of the item, if you're entering this into a contest.

I really enjoyed this and hope to see more from you in the future.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review, which I almost forgot about more than once *Shock2*

This was a super cool read. I like the modern, relatable elements that keep it real: Target, FaceTime, social media, Chelsea and Al being the casual, youthful liberal type... I'm an old soul, and I find it hard to incorporate these little details into my work. Usually Iā€™m too caught up in describing the action and maintaining strict word counts to go off on little tangents; indeed, I often forget to even describe the appearances of the people I'm writing about. Sometimes I prefer stories that way; after all, one might like to envision the characters as people of color, or something similar. But now I'm rambling...

I'm wondering if you haven't given too much away in the description at the top. I guess it makes a good thing to draw us in, and since the story is written in an engaging way, we become interested in finding out what happens at each step.

I would like to make some generalized remarks about character development; you probably don't need this, but it's a good reminder to balance "action" with "depth," so to speak.

Characters are the driving force of a story, and they need specific goals, stakes and obstacles. Chelsea has her goal of doing the job and taking home the money. Are there stakes if she is forced to leave because of the haunting? How scary is the haunting exactly? Is it "something evil," or something that's more lost and seeking clarity? What are the obstacles in the way of her goal? Does she have a new goal of solving the mystery?

It's also important for the protagonist to discover something about herself as well as the world around her, which relates to inherent flaws or setbacks she might have which need working on. This creates a more well-rounded person than a simple "do gooder" type. Is there an argument with Al coming down the pike? Perhaps some conflict somewhere, a temptation to do something shady to find the truth? Grey areas and ethical debates can add interest to a story, unless you're focusing on action and considerations of right and wrong might slow things down.

There's also the elements of "show vs tell" and being firmly planted within Chelsea's head. I learned from Max Griffin šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ Author Icon that a story is best told by focusing on the interior perspective of the main character. Sometimes people hop all around, showing us different aspects of the story from many different characters, even the antagonist. This can get a little odd sometimes, especially if you want to focus on a particular character arc.

At any rate, whichever perspective you choose, remember to engage all five senses with vivid details, which is especially important when dealing with scary stories.

I look forward to reading the rest of this adventure!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of O' Heralder  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Jen!

I discovered this poem using the Random Read and Review button.

What a creative and amusing use of the peculiar given prompt! Iā€™ve never seen ā€œthe daily poemā€ before, as I only appeared here in July 2023. I wonder if itā€™s still active in any wayā€¦ ah, I see it was hosted by our good friend Jayne, and has been replaced by ā€œCards Against Authors.ā€ Fun!

This was a delightful and fanciful take on the experience of a mouse in the house. We can almost picture the heralder, perhaps an old lady at tea with another one, or maybe the boy delivering the evening news. Youā€™ve formatted everything quite well, though I always recommend size 4 Verdana font to ensure your words stand out upon the page, especially when itā€™s only 8 lines. Also, the phrase ā€œlink text hereā€ is merely an example of; feel free to replace that with ā€œnotesā€ or something similar - but donā€™t use anything with an apostrophe because itā€™ll crash the code.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Grayscale  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

A fine story of humanity surviving somehow after the great disaster. I love how you took the prompt request and spun it into something striking and unique, without sounding too stilted.

You've painted the charred, lifeless landscape for us in vivid dullness - is that possible? - and left out most of the details of whatever, focusing on the human interaction and the sense of hope coming in at last.

Why does everyone assume that when you're all alone, you're silent? I always talk to myself, long rambling discussions about anything and everything. I usually whisper, though, and I get super nervous and choked up around people as it is, so if I hadn't raised my voice in a while it would probably get quite rusty...

This is a great little story, and I really enjoyed it. I can't think of anything to suggest except maybe a sequel... I'm curious if they can survive and if there's anything else alive out there besides a daisy *Radioactive* *Flowery*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Kate, and welcome to writing.com *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Sorry I didnā€™t review your first poem sooner. I usually just do one review a day, and there are so many different things I find interesting. Also, poetry is kind of hard for me to review, because I donā€™t like ā€œpicking it apartā€ and imposing ideas on someoneā€™s heart and soul that theyā€™ve poured into their work. So, I never know quite what to say *Pthb*

First off, congrats on joining! I see you have a yearā€™s upgraded membership. That will allow you to have a bunch of stuff in your portfolio, but youā€™ll have to either work really hard around here to earn GPs to keep it up, or just pay cash, or depend on the generosity of others. Or you can maintain fewer than ten port items and leave it at a free membership. Your choice *Smile*

I love the simple brevity of this poem, the symmetry, the repetition, the flow. I might think itā€™s a little too briefā€¦ is there a way you would like to add more descriptive elements? Perhaps the blue gleam of sky on water shines in your eyes? Or maybe the faint chirping of birds heralds the coming of summer? Or rather, seeing the ā€œmajestic autumn tones,ā€ perhaps thereā€™s a squirrel gathering acorns before the first frost? Is any of this necessary, or is it my own flowery thoughts? Just ignore me *Laugh*

You should use Size 4 Verdana font; your friend Allan Charles šŸ¾ 2340534 Author Icon will tell you thatā€™s my favorite *BigSmile* I picked it up from my friend Jack of Diamonds Author Icon - you might want to check out his port if you like thrills, chills, and hoopla. Anyway, thatā€™s the best font for clarity and ease of sight across devices. Itā€™ll make your poem stand out against our buzzing sidebars and upper tabs.

Perhaps also you should tell us a little something about yourself in your bio block: young, old, writing experience, tastes, preferences, greetings, etc. It makes you a little more human for us.

Aside from that, I really enjoyed reading this and Iā€™m glad youā€™re here!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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