Amethyst Snow Angel's (greenwillow) Reviews

Review Requests: ON

1,092 Public Reviews Given

1,095 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.

I'm good at...

Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?

Favorite Genres

Poetry, children's, anything rated E

Least Favorite Genres

Anything higher than 18+

Favorite Item Types

Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc

Least Favorite Item Types

AI Generated Content of Any Kind.

I will not review...

NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.

1

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#4796074

Review of It Was Nice While It Lasted

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings, Staine!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

A quiet, contemplative poem, musing about your collection of books and wondering if you have too many. I can picture you sitting before the fire with a good book, enjoying it against the bitter chill outside. Then, the moment comes when you begin to declutter, wishing your well-read books a fond farewell.

The free verse is creative and easygoing, beginning each verse with the phrase "I sit alone" and offering us a variation on the theme as we advance through the poem. First you have your thoughts, then you have your books, and at the end you have your thoughts and your books and are content in the moment.

I see Comic font is your favorite... I will gently remind you certain iOS devices do not format Comic. No problem for me anymore, but just a thought. Size 4 Verdana is my personal favorite.

I might suggest adding more sensory details to the poem to engage us in the moment. What's the weather outside? (Is it frightful? Is the fire delightful?

) The time of day? Is there something aromatic in the oven as you sit and contemplate your books? Did you just finish your chores and are settling down to a blissfully clean house? A few tiny details might help bring it to life even more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.

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#4795944

Review of Winter Wonderland

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Steph!

I see you've had three enthusiastic ratings since I started this draft at 5AM

I'm reviewing your word search even though I don't have a desktop to complete it on. It looks like such fun, though, that I might print it out and do it on paper, the old-fashioned way!

Now, you understand that actually solving the puzzle is not required for a review, because the way the words get arranged in the puzzle block changes every time the page is reloaded, so it's not part of what you have control over as the creator. You're responsible for curation and presentation, and the rest is up to SM

I like your presentation here, with an emphasis on brisk and sporty cold-weather activities sure to get one's blood circulating. You brought the theme home with a GIF of a hockey scene, and added a personal touch with the picture of your boys having outdoor winter fun.

You have a lovely fat list of words, all guaranteed to create thoughts of frigid temperatures and seasonal, action-packed delights. I'm getting cold just looking at them 🥶

Ok, as for improvement suggestions: I see you've misspelled "Arctic," which is enough to turn me into a raging polar bear

You also neglected to add two more genres to the item, such as "Activity" and "Sports" or "Environment." This will help your item be found when browsing and also be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible... Is that even possible for a Word Search? Maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, choosing genres is one of my favorite parts of the "small stuff" associated with adding items to WdC.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

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#4795765

Review of Poppies, Sunflowers and Roses

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings!

I found this fascinating piece using the Random Read and Review Button.

How interesting: a poem arranged like a song, complete with a detailed description of the corresponding music video. It carries a strong theme of international peace and reminds us we must all come together or face a rapidly crumbling world.

I like the free verse; I can picture the solemn narration of the lines with your video description. It gives me questions as to whether this is a sort of essay about a video which does indeed exist, or if it's entirely something you've created in words in the hope of one day seeing it brought to reality.

I would recommend adding line spaces between the different parts to keep it tidy. I can't tell what size font you've used on mobile, but I like to tell everyone to use Size 4 Verdana so it's nice and clear and takes full prominence on the page. A line count is a helpful thing to add at the bottom, and perhaps the notes could be kept in a dropnote for tidiness.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

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#4795594

Review of Summer of our Discontent

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings!

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

A wise, albeit depressing summation of last summer. Record heat indeed, but now 2025 looks like it's shaping up to be even worse. Did you hear the low was 90° F in some part of Australia recently?

My only response to such bad news is sheer escapism, brought on by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I can't imagine there's anything I can do to fix the mess... If I could think of something, I would. These days I tend indeed to be unaware of a lot of what goes on because I simply don't want to know... Which has its own problems.

Any suggestions for this are strictly in formatting. I might recommend removing the extra space between each line and clarifying the prompt and date and activity it was written for so others more unfamiliar with the site and your habits will understand.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

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#4795246

Review of Evidence

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Carly!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

An amusing, almost satirical flash piece. I enjoy reading shorts like these because they're over quickly, usually with a snappy catch at the end. You've set up a situation ripe for humor while sharing a theme of acceptance and kindness.

As a flash contest entry, I understand it's hard to get enough "story" into it. I might suggest, when the day is over, going in and adding a bit of narrative at the beginning to center the "I" who is speaking. Opening with suspended dialogue is a bit confusing as we move from one speaker to another.

I'd also recommend adding three relevant genres, such as LGBTQ+, Drama, and Friendship or Emotional.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

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#4795036

Review of Noah and Oliver's and the Magical Oak

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794941

Review of Noah and Oliver's and the Magical Oak

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4794719

Review of Flipping Liam

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Victor!

I found this on the Random Read and Review Button.

Ah, a quick thrill. If I have to read stuff which dances on the edge, I prefer it in flash form to get it over with as quickly as possible. This was written with brisk, wry humor and a snappy ending and was a pretty fun read as I considered what might be happening in such a situation.

I would suggest adding two more relevant genres such as Crime/Gangster and Dark or Thriller/Suspense. This helps people find your item when browsing. I also like to recommend Size 4 Verdana font, but I can't tell what size you've used on mobile so it's all good.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794586

Review of Angels

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, friend!

I love this acrostic you've crafted for us. It shares your beliefs about the beautiful nature of God's angels and how they interact with us on Earth.

I like the rhyming couplets, which worked out perfectly because the word has an even number of letters. And the different colors you've chosen to set off the opening letter of each line adds elegant clarity to the acrostic style.

I'm not criticizing the perfection of what you have here, but since the BEAR project requires at least one suggestion, I might suggest adding more lines. What you could do is select another word and add it as a second verse acrostic: maybe "love..." or you could add a verse built on the word "God's" at the top to create an acrostic reading "God's Angels..." Because after all, there are good angels and bad angels, and we should be clear which ones we're talking about

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794464

Review of Power

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to Writing.com, Carl!

A "powerful" poem, written using the letters of the theme word to introduce each line. We see the world's problems laid out in simple terms: corruption, greed and lack of morals, along with the ultimate consequences of allowing oneself to fall prey to such.

I noticed the last letter has a couplet by itself, but it's run together as a single line broken by the screen: you may want to do a line break at the second "the" and add {indent} at the front of it to arrange this in a more visually pleasing manner, like so:

Ravenousness: the greater the amount one requires,
the quicker the one will expire.

Which brings me to our proprietary markup language, known as WML. The row of tiles above the text entry box is your key to rearranging and formatting your text in different ways. I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font. As as an acrostic, you can also underline and/or bold the first letter of each line to bring the point home; that way you may remove the word written as the title at the top, which is usually unnecessary here. If you need any help, you can check "Writing.Com 101"

for an extensive user guide.

I would recommend choosing three relevant genres for this poem, as it makes it easier for people to find your work when browsing. Philosophy, Political, Drama, Relationship, History, Psychology, or Dark would all be suitable options. Filling in three genres also allows opportunity for as many Quill Award nominations as possible.

I look forward to seeing you around here more. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794333

Review of The Sandwich Saboteurs

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Charles!

Good grief, what a rollickingly absurd and glorious story! I loved it! I'll try to break down what I liked so much so I don't go rambling all over...

Characters: you have the perfect "everyman" type with Joe, the average tech geek who has some unusually awful bad luck with tech gear. His interactions with the world around him are so introverted, I can really identify. I love the scene where he's chilling in a corner of the meeting with his teacup and a good book, ignoring everyone

His coworkers are ingenious, so typical and yet so creatively done. Rob with the magic abilities, Greg the exasperated boss, Fred the guy with the rich auntie... They're a scrappy bunch, but somehow they get their mission accomplished through bungling and barfing. Joe's habit of saying "fair" to stave off conflict reminds me of the gentle ways of the Strange Planet creatures.

Premise: The idea of a tech nerd being hounded by saboteurs throughout his life is absurd, approached with enough sympathetic humor that we can't take it seriously enough to be alarmed by the death and blowing up of stuff which eventually ensues. I was prepared for a miserable ending, because I've seen other "everyman" stories where the poor fellow gets hurled through a "series of unfortunate events," and they can be pretty depressing and pointless. This, though, had a larger message of friendship and teamwork by the time it arrived at the end. I'm really looking forward to Joe's further adventures.

Setting: the real world, complete with name dropping and geography, is perfect. You've set up such a relatable situation, with all that malfunctioning tech and the little details carefully woven together, from the butter to the flashbacks of Joe's childhood. You keep us hanging, unsure of what's going on from moment to moment and reading excitedly to see what happens next. The moment where he was reading the feelings of the guy at the showdown shows how empathetic Joe is; I was hollering at him that he's overlaying his own feelings and not to fall for his own soft spot...

Ok, I do need to give you a couple of suggestions. First, you should make the font larger. I know this will throw off the careful tapering of Joe's moans of shock, but a little twiddling will help. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana for ease of reading.
Then, I highly recommend choosing two more genres for the item. Technology and Crime/Gangster would be good, unless you want to give away the lighthearted side and add Comedy as one. This will help people find it when browsing, and also allow the opportunity to be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible.

You may want to check the scenes where they're at the auntie's house and make sure you didn't confuse Fred and Greg somewhere along there.

A word count at the top would also be a great idea to let us know what we're in for.

Your writing style is brilliant; this comes across like an office sitcom collided with Mad Max. I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next installment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794244

Review of Into the Wind

for entry "Oh So Delicious"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Greetings, Lizzie!

I remembered you’re part of the PPC5 challenge and thought I’d find one of your entries to review as a fellow member.

This is a yummy poem... And now I'm hungry for a simple, classic dish of Italian spaghetti

You've painted your scene well, engaging our senses with the smell of garlic, the flavor of cheese and tomato sauce, and the sight of warm bread cleaning the plate. It's a deeply relatable moment for all of us; my mom and I love a good pasta dinner.

The free verse is conversational, whimsical and creative, as we spot a couple of accidental rhymes which lend a flow to the piece.

You've misspelled the word "fare" as it relates to food in the 13th line. Also, a line count at the bottom is nice to help Lilli quickly see the requirements have been met. I can hardly remember the prompt for that week; was it the "favorite food" prompt? Perhaps you should add a little note about it at the bottom, even just for your own reference. I know Lilli adds them all to a "quick list" which we can look at if we fall behind later in the year.

A perfectly scrumptious snapshot of a luxuriously simple dinner for one. I really enjoyed the tactile bliss you've shared with us here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794211

Review of Perception

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings, Purple Princess!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

This is a fun little story... At first I thought it was describing a dream, going by the word in the subtitle, and when we arrived at the shift in font after your utilization of the prompt phrase, I figured that must be "real life" again.

You've made it lots more fun by making it entirely real and reasonable, though. I've heard before that critters look bigger when they're moving, and if a kid is terrified of snakes, I'm sure they would indeed appear way bigger than they actually are. Plus, I've always had a hard time estimating distances visually, though perhaps not to such an extreme extent...

Where Blair says "it was horrifying!" You left out the letter T in "it." I'm a super cheapskate when it comes to word counts; I love (well, maybe it can get a little tedious) going over and over my works trying to trim out excess and compact everything as briefly as possible. I think if you reworked some of the descriptions of fear in the first half, you can add a description of what the Scarlet Kingsnake looks like. When I saw the name I remembered the Coral Snake, which looks similar to the King Snake but with reversed stripes. Have you ever heard the rhyme “red and black, friend of Jack, red and yellow, kill a fellow”? That’s how to tell the difference…

I noticed you have this listed as a “serial” instead of a “short story,” which was probably a slip of the mouse. Also, I always recommend adding a third genre such as “Comedy,” “Nature” or “Environment” or “Family.” It’ll help others find it when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4794164

Review of More Promptly Poetry PPC 5

for entry "1929 - Week 22"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Greetings, Ned!

I'm here again as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I've probably said this several times to everyone participating, but I love seeing how we all respond differently and uniquely to the prompts. This particular set of words seemed to imply a rather "run of the mill" interpretation, but you've made it special by tapping into an era of great upheaval, where fortunes were lost and people found out who their friends were. I'm a fan of the Depression era American Girl character, Kit, and that time of US history has been a source of inspiration for me.

I've never heard of the movie you refer to, but I can see it sounds interesting. You forgot a line count at the end of your poem; it'll make Lilli's life just a bit easier if you have one

Perhaps also highlight the prompt words as they're used.

Aside from these little nitpicky details, I see nothing about the poem to suggest changing. You've captured a snapshot of an era in a few simple yet profound words.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4793876

Review of Dalthyrian

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings and happy new year, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

A whimsical rhyming poem about your (the narrator's?) favorite dragon. We see how much they love the creature; it must be a nice dragon if it has vast libraries! That's my kind of mythological creature

Biographically speaking, I love how you've given this a gentle personal touch. I feel as though you really are speaking about a dragon you believe is "real." As authors and dreamers, we have a kinship with the characters we create, and I can identify with having an "imaginary" companion following one's life journey.

I notice you have a big empty space at the bottom of the item, before the prompt info. Perhaps you should hit the backspace key a few times there. Also, a line count is required for the project, even just to make Lilli’s life a bit easier

The bold font is a bit too “bold…” perhaps a larger size would suffice. This looks a bit too much like the impact font, which is rarely used (I always wonder why it’s here at all…

) Oh, it’s always best to add a third genre, maybe “Personal” or “Writing” or “Fantasy.” This allows you to quantify for as many Quill nominations as possible.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4793728

Review of More Promptly Poetry PPC 5

for entry "Now and Then - Week 20"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, Christmas... We thought it was over last week, but they're still cleaning up the clearance tinsel and pine boughs at the big box stores

You have a good poem here, following the rules of the form and setting up a dualistic, reminiscent comparison of Christmas past with Christmas present. We can all identify with the images of happy youth and quieter, more thoughtful older age. As we learn and grow, it is up to us to maintain the Christmas spirit without becoming sour, cynical or giving in to seasonal depression.

I can't tell what size font you've used on mobile, but I suggest Size 4 Verdana for everyone, especially to help poetry stand out in the center of our busy sidebars. A dropnote click me! ▼ to keep your form notes and such tidied away. A word count is also a useful touch to consider, especially if you participate in I Write (oh, I forgot it's different this year... Whatever! I have formed the habit of including a word count with everything so I don't get disqualified from anything

)

Aside from these minor suggestions, this is perfect. I dislike telling people to modify their poetry in any way, especially if it's a more personal theme.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4793560

Review of Wheel of Fortune

for entry "January 3, 2025"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Greetings and blessings for a happy new year!

Ah, this is a spooky choice of mythological creature. I love seeing how we each respond in our own unique ways to the given prompts; it’s one of the fascinating things about this site. You’ve painted a picture of the figure of death as portrayed in your tarot cards and experienced in your own life. We see it as a haunting reminder of our human fragility and the fleeting nature of life. Yet you have observed a glimmer of hope in the stars… we are all made of stardust, after all.

As a poem, I would suggest using a larger size and style of font (size 4 Verdana is my favorite) to bring the words into clearer focus on our busy screens. You can also use a dropnote to enclose any extra info at the bottom for tidiness. Perhaps an image of the tarot card you had in mind would be interesting.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4793300

Review of Promptly 4 and 5

for entry "I Like Trolls"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Greetings, Beholden!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Surprisingly enough, I can appreciate trolls as well. They've gotten a bad rap over the years because of the modern idea of online "trolling," but honestly the only bad troll I can remember is the one under the bridge from the Three Billy Goats Gruff. (In fact, I felt almost a little sorry for the troll there when he was trampled underfoot...)

As you might know, I'm a Frozen fan, and the trolls there are portrayed in a fascinating way. They are the wise ones who raised orphan Kristoff and have an understanding of magic, which Elsa's parents were afraid of. When Elsa... Well, I won't spell out the whole thing. The trolls play an important role and they're good solid creatures.

Having expressed admiration for your unique choice of mythological creature, I now have to offer at least one suggestion as per the B.E.A.R requirements. I see you have uncapitalized opening letters, which creates a conversational, story-like flow. I usually instinctively capitalize every line unless they “spill over,” which can get weird

I have also developed the habit of, perhaps learned from my participation in I Write last year, including a word count as well as a line count. It’s become quite useful to see how many words get used in poetry. Twice now I’ve attempted a Drabble poem with an allotment of 100 words (one in rhyme and meter and one in free verse.)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

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#4792639

Review of Ireland Calls

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I see you look like a fairly polished author, adding an image and two genres and understanding the concept of a drabble (100 word story.)

As such, you've taken an experience and encapsulated it in brief, with a beginning, middle and end. Personally, I love drabbles, rising to the challenge of shaping a perfect story in the given limit while crafting it as vividly as possible. If this were mine, I would perhaps have twiddled with it more, trying to include a bit of scenery and some sort of strong emotional reaction to plant us in Diane's head. But these are techniques usually reserved for longer works.

I would recommend you add a third genre such as Supernatural; this will help people find your items when browsing. It will also allow as many opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award as possible.

I also recommend you take some time to hang around here and get to know us a bit; the Newsfeed is a good place to start making friends. That's if you want to be sociable, of course; there are plenty of people here who don't hang out much. It all depends on how much you want WdC to be either a sort of social media site or a place to go for meaningful feedback on stories and poetry.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

20

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4792517

Review of Rhythm Of The Soul

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I'm so glad to meet you. WdC is a wonderful place, and I can see you've already had a warm welcome from other reviewers around here. I love finding people who write poetry with charm and grace, and you seem to be just my type.

This is a lovely poem, with a strong rhythm which carries us through with the feeling of a song. You describe the thrill of putting pen to paper and crafting beautiful works of word art for others to share and enjoy. The words are simple yet profound, and we feel your newfound delight in what you do.

I have nothing to suggest for improvement on what you've written here. It's a sentiment I agree with wholeheartedly, and I think it would look lovely written out in fancy script, printed and framed.

I always recommend learning how to use the row of text modification tiles above the entry box, as a larger font size and style helps make your item stand out, especially on desktop. Size 4 Verdana is my standard.

Poetry is one of my special hobbies here, and if you're interested I have a couple of book items stuffed with poems: "Promptly Poetry"

and "Magic Eight"

Which brings me to an important point. As a newbie with a free account, you will soon run out of portfolio space (ten items.) If you make yourself known in the community, I'm sure someone will give you an upgraded membership if you need the help. Otherwise, you can gather multiple poems into a single item. There are some tricks to help organize large items into something similar to chapters and indexing here "Writing.Com 101"

I'm not too familiar, never having used them.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

21

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4792374

Review of Thank you.

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Greetings, Mary Ann!

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

A beautiful, simple and heartfelt prayer built on an acrostic. I deeply appreciate your sentiment.

I have a few typos to suggest you fix...
1. The tagged item is invalid; you may want to remove it or add a few words explaining what type of writing project it was.
2. The word "you" is duplicated in the first line.
3. The third line seems like it should read "serve You in the decisions..." rather than "and the decisions"
4. In the fourth line "when you're by my side" the word "you're" is misspelled.

Aside from these little things, I really enjoyed this and found it moving. I pray you have many blessings in the year ahead.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

22

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4792222

Review of "Box"

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Well, this is heavy. I see you take great care to spell “grey” with an E, which I appreciate.

I am now seeing grey myself, sitting in a fog which has lasted unusually long this morning. Your prose has a moody, mysterious feel, telling little about how this situation arose and what’s actually going on. We experience it solely through the experience of this lone figure trudging through the grey nothingness towards some kind of an end.

It feels like a “higher level” piece of writing, like the kind of thing I would have puzzled over and pushed aside in my literature classes. Maybe I’m thinking of the Donald Barthelme story Game, something vaguely depressing yet also intriguing and… well, yours is a dead end, really. A bleak and hopeless cessation of existence.

Which is kind of how I’ve been feeling about life lately, from a philosophical perspective. I mean, I’m not exactly depressed, but sometimes I step back and marvel at the futility of life. Like how the new Jelly Roll song goes “I know I’m not ok, but it’s all gonna be alright…” and I’m like “bro, how do you figure that?” Like they give us this wish-washy “just believe it’ll all be okay” but they don’t really have a leg to stand on because their worldview automatically excludes any possibility of real “hope” and they’re just telling us that so we don’t all go insane and jump off the nearest bridge…

Ok, I apologize for the emotional dump. I guess I've had that bottled up for a while and your item resonated with me. Which is a good thing. You've written a powerful metaphor on how life sometimes feels, cloaked in surrealist science fiction.

By way of improvement, I would suggest you increase the font size and style using the handy row of tiles above the text entry box. I like Size 4 Verdana for nearly everything

My friend likes to recommend everyone add cover art to their items as well, but I think there's a restriction on what level of membership can add images. An image will help your item pop out from the rest.

Perhaps breaking it down into smaller paragraphs will help make it a little easier to plow through, because there isn't much action and we might get sleepy being plunged into that land of dreary grey nothing

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

23

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4791775

Review of The Fool

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings, Chris!

Not sure how this showed up on Random Read and Review, but here I am.

A quick and amusing rhyming story about a king's jester who strikes it big when he helps his master solve the riddle. We see him rise in power, yet still retain his personality as a fool who keeps everyone laughing. It reminds me of the Jester in Ivanhoe.

A couple of tiny typos... One is in the fourth line where you mixed up "too" and "to." Then the word "breeches..." If you're using the vernacular, you can spell it "britches" and it would suit the rhyme more visually than otherwise. I think either spelling is accurate, though I'd have to do some research on that one...

Wishing you happy holidays and a lovely new year

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

24

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4791585

Review of ABC Lesson

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com, Kermit!

What a coincidence: I received your review letting me know you'll be posting this, and I hit the Random Read and Review button, and here it is!

I love how philosophical it is, teaching us things about life by guiding us through the alphabet. It would make a nice thing to share with children, especially these days when they're exposed to serious issues at tender ages.

On mobile, I can't give advice about line lengths or anything, but I'm sure it all balances out well if it were on a normal screen size. You appear to have used a good font size and style. Perhaps adding a space where there's an extra line of poetry going deeper into a single letter, before moving to the next letter, would be helpful to sort through it visually. You could also separate each letter in bold if you think that would help.

Your thoughts about the words are balanced and wise, allowing us all to appreciate the advice even if we have different worldviews. On this site we have people from all walks of life and around the world, and the diversity is amazingly peaceful and welcoming.

I would highly recommend you add genres to the item; it's one of the essential elements of getting your work noticed, as people often like to sort through items by genre. Another important thing is the yearly Quill Awards, which are nominated partly by genres. I would suggest Philosophy, Children's, and Experience, but there are so many more possibilities. Relationship, Friendship , Inspirational, Family, Writing... even How-to/Advice.

I also like to always add a line count and word count at the bottom of my items, as it's a required habit to form for submission to contests. I'm pretty sure, in fact, that this would qualify for entry to "The Long Poetry Contest"

... Stop by and see!

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

Image #2331111 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

25

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4791486

Review of Kleenex Confessionals

Review by Amethyst Snow Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Kiya!

Good grief, what a monologue. I was absorbed in the dynamics revealed in the man’s words as he painted the colorful picture of his background, rise and the crumbling of his family. It’s amusingly (also sadly) realistic; as someone who leads a quiet and sheltered life, I don’t know too much about the “ways of men” and quite frankly would rather not, but that’s just me

You’ve captured his voice so distinctly and clearly, taking what could have been a simple and trite theme and turning it into a fun and engaging read.

Did you use default font size? I prefer bigger… Size 4 Verdana as I used to say frequently. Other than that, this was interesting and well crafted.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2331111 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .