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1,125 Public Reviews Given
1,128 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
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1
1
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings, Steph!

Well good grief, this is a peculiar story. The strangeness of the ritual the princess and her guards must undergo is unsettling. I suppose if one is working from "the devil is in the details," it's a creative take that incorporates a February type romantic theme.

I liked the elements of magic and the vibrations of crystals you mentioned. The setting is carefully described like a movie, and the details of love and conception are spoken of as politely as possible, suitable for a 13+ rating. The two principal characters are painted pleasingly, and we can sympathize with their desires in the face of absurd requirements.

It's highly historically inaccurate... I can't imagine any ancient culture dreaming up quite such a distorted plan for carrying on the royal line. It assumes the ascendency of the female, for one, which was rare. I mean, the men are not rulers, just hanging around to help defend, advise and make babies. And artificial insemination? Nearly impossible in a primitive environment. Pagan rituals did include temple "acts," but I don't even know what became of the babies conceived, and that was kept strictly separate from royal lineages.

Perhaps you can choose "Fantasy" as the third genre, because then anything goes, and it suits the touches of magic mentioned.

A few things you can do to tidy it up include centering the scene dividers and keeping them to three asterisks, choosing a third primary genre such as "Drama" or "Cultural," and I noticed a small grammatical typo at some point (which I can never seem to find again when I begin the review *Laugh*)

Best of luck in the contest... Hey, may I ask how you know you won't be chosen as a judge?? Do you get the opportunity to self-eliminate by entering? I've always wondered about that. I guess it's like "duh..."

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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2
2
for entry "Warning!Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

I love how bright and positive your items always are; it's a joy to read them.

This poem takes inspiration from the prompt and makes it into something lovely: a warm reminder of the importance of good education and teachers who take their job seriously.

Rather than simply feeding the kids facts and figures, the outstanding teachers engage their pupils' minds and help them think for themselves about life's big issues.

I love the sentiments here. My only suggestion might be to take a closer look at your syllable counts and perhaps try to maintain a steady "beat" throughout, as the flow seems a bit choppy. I used to eschew counting syllables and measuring meter, but I've learned it makes a big difference in ease of reading and general appearances.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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3
3
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, Megan!

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

Wow, that's so sad about Jane Austen. Life was so difficult back then when they unknowingly used arsenic and other toxic substances, and before the advances made in medicine.

I loved learning more about her and how she lived. That YouTube video sounds gorgeous; I might look it up.

Which brings me to the required one suggestion. You can embed the video right into your newsletter using {embed:} and the URL link.

This is a lovely item to find and enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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4
4
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I started digging back through old forum entries and found this lovely winter scene. You have captured a beautiful moment, using the prompt words to paint us a unique and thoughtful picture of snowy trees and peaceful quiet in the morning.

The only suggestion I can think of is correcting the spelling of "crescendo." Also, there's that pesky thing of line breaks again... I'm beginning to think we should use the {indent} function to push in the second part of a spillover line... Does that make sense? I'll have to go look at one of my recent poems and see if it needs indents *Think*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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5
5
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

Well, this was wonderful. When I saw the new contest, "dark romance," I cringed because I couldn't imagine what the host might want to see. I mean, I'm not going to write a 50 Shades *Shock2* *Vomit* *Laugh* You've led the way by writing something more whimsical and uplifting than creepy; indeed, I almost had a tear in my eye by the end.

You've captured the resurrection of the zombie mind, and left room for lots of potential sequels as Blondie tries to save her boyfriend who saved her.

If I had to make any suggestions (which I do... The Bear Fund, y'know) I would say you might need a touch more sensory engagement to make it especially vivid. At least, that's what they say to do. I think it's fine like this.

On a different angle, there might be room for more personal interaction and character development between Blondie and the guy, since you have a 2k limit. We barely know who he is.

Also, might as well flesh out *Wink* the subtitle and add a picture, though I guess the title is draw enough *Laugh* *ZombieHand* *Heartp*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *Writer*



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6
6
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "February 14, 2025Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I love this highly educational and wonderfully written poem. A quick glance at the Wikipedia page for "mudflats" reveals a highly complex living ecosystem, a marvel of the natural world.

You've captured some of that feeling here in poetry, with good use of vocabulary to create a word picture and a humorous touch as you run into a fellow mud-lover. The use of the tarot card for inspiration is creative, adding thoughtful depth.

If anything, I would recommend making it a bit longer. Perhaps a glimpse of a particular species of bird, or a rare flower, even an otter or two playing - I love otters! 🦦 You can engage the senses of smell and sight and even the taste of salt wind.

Other than that, I highly recommend submitting this to Shadows and Light as Kare said. Best of luck there!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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7
7
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings sir, and thank you for the opportunity to review the boy's POV.

I will say right off, I believe I prefer the girl's POV. This is well executed, but it lacks the emotional intimacy and engagement of the other. Since Ken is a boy, I as a female reader feel somewhat removed from his experience, especially since he has to hide his feelings for the most part. And I think the element of April's age and her parents keeping her "safe" makes a stronger story when seen from the inside, than just mentioning it from the boy's eyes.

I also like the further details about Mr Krang we get in the girl's POV. It seems he gets to speak more there.

Also... There's no subtle way to say this: fifteen year old boys are always going to be more interested in physical attraction than girls of a similar age. Even allowing for bashfulness and nerdiness, he'll still be fascinated by the shape of her body, the way she moves, her bust, etc. I know it sounds super creepy, but that's the way it is.

So, the way you have it now, it seems a bit unnatural and contrived, from the boy's perspective, because I feel like he's holding back some, based on what I know about boys.

Perhaps to make it more realistic without being creepy, Ken should notice just a little more about how April looks and acts. Maybe her pretty hands or the cute shape of her lips, or the way she unconsciously bats her eyelashes, or her good posture (which would be important since they're dancing.)

Also, in the interactions with his male friends, there could be some banter about how April looks. Perhaps someone snickers that she's plainer than Maureen, and Ken jumps to say April's pretty too in a different way. Maybe even some small situation where he feels protective or jealous/possessive towards her. This would develop his character, contrast him against other boys more crude or unsuitable, and help us connect and root for him.

You have a few minor typos scattered throughout; perhaps you should run it through Grammarly and look for highlights.

Aside from these suggestions, I enjoyed this about as much as the other one, and with a little development work they could complement each other quite well, exploring Ken and April's characters and interactions with their peers as the events progress. But if you only want one of them available, I would recommend leaving up April's POV story.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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8
8
for entry "UnicornOpen in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here again as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

This is totally "aww;" what could be cuter than the last unicorn and a misfit lady finding each other? There's room here for a lovely fairytale or fantasy story, or at least some charming AI images. So far I only have one, no, two unicorn stories in my port; perhaps you've inspired me to write more.

Your rhyme scheme is balanced, if perhaps a little strained. Perhaps something like this would "paint" better in free verse, but I like the childlike aspect of what you have, and you know I avoid picking away at anyone's poetry—even my own.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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9
9
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "NightshiftOpen in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, the nightshift. For a second it seemed like you were dreaming up an imaginary horror figure when you said "those pale creatures..." But the rest of the poem is firmly planted in reality.

It's a hard, thankless sort of career choice, one which can uproot your sleep/wake patterns for the rest of your life. When I was a kid we had an elderly neighbor who only came out at night because of working the night shift all his life. I used to joke he must be a vampire because he had the unnerving habit of snooping around our yard under cover of darkness... Neighbors *Irritated*

Anyway, I can't think of anything to suggest for improvement here. Maybe an extra word or two about how being awake at night messes with your life and how long it takes to recover... Or perhaps adjust the "pale creatures" to something more human. But don't mind me—I'm working for the BEAR project *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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10
10
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review.

This was an enjoyable read. I don't usually read goofy teen romance stories, because I can't identify with it. My growing up years were quite different from the average. But I really liked how realistic, down-to-earth and detailed this is.

The first thing I must tell you is: there is no such thing as "auburn eyes!" That was driving me crazy as I read it. She kept saying it over and over. Auburn is another word for red, usually referring to hair. Please change that to "green eyes" or something. You can call his hair auburn, but a 14-year-old may not be familiar with the word.

I liked how the workings of the play intertwined with their real lives, and I appreciated how April's parents wanted to protect her. April's emotional turmoil and the way she acts seemed to match how she felt about the situation, and everything made good sense and balanced out to a happy ending. I was relieved neither of them did anything stupid.

Naming a specific song from the era was a fun touch to help "set the stage"... Which reminds me, you have Mrs. Jenkins writing on a "tablet" in one scene. A tablet in today's world is an iPad or Galaxy Tab, so you may want to call it a "writing pad" or a clipboard to be less anachronistic.

I kinda felt like Dad's giving Kevin "the evil eye" was a bit of an exaggeration, as that phrase has a highly specific definition. Just "the look" should do, unless you want a cliche such as "looking daggers at" *Laugh*

I love the ginormous font you've used here, it helps open it up to seem like a much shorter and easier read. Which reminds me, a word count at the top or in the subtitle is a courteous touch so readers know what they're getting into. WdC rarely provides a word estimate on the preview.

Also, you desperately need scene dividers. Just three centered asterisks will do to visually clarify the divisions. I was thinking, too, it might be fun if you labeled each scene like a play is written: Act One, Scene One, etc. Of course it's pretty much all one act, so you can simply label the different scenes or whatever you like. And at the end you can write "curtain" as a little flourish, instead of "the end" (which no one around here ever uses, come to think of it...)

I couldn't help being reminded of Taylor Swift songs as I read; music is my touchstone to understanding boy/girl stuff, as I've never experienced it myself. Your story has a universal theme which is instantly relatable and accessable to anyone, however. I liked learning the behind-the-scenes details of setting up the play, and I was rooting for April and Ken by the end of it.

There wasn't anything I found "cringy" or would suggest you do differently. The characters are colorful and well sketched, both supporting and main. You have a few minor typos, mostly extra words or phrases here and there and a "you're" instead of "your." Remember to set each piece of dialogue off in a separate paragraph; sometimes it was hard to tell who was speaking.

Maybe a couple extra descriptive words about people's appearances might bring it to life more (does Charles Kring, the playwright, wear horn-rimmed glasses and run his hands through a shock of funny hair? Etc...) But a young girl might not notice these little details about others, especially if she becomes obsessed with a boy.

Speaking of which, maybe a word or two more on how it was difficult for her to focus on anything other than Ken during the time they were getting to know each other, might make it more realistic. She doesn't have to let her studies suffer, but a bit of distractedness or daydreaming here and there wouldn't hurt. Though of course there was no contact outside of school... It's not like they swapped numbers. And in those days there wasn't any texting and all home calls would be public!

Yes, definitely a fun and easy read. I hope this review was helpful. Thanks for reaching out; it's always nice to have something a little different for a change.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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11
11
Review of Go Fly A Kite  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here yet again for I Write 2025 - isn't this fun *BigSmile*

I love how you showcase a unique cultural holiday here, describing a kite flying festival I've never heard of before, complete with the native vocabulary. The element of playful belligerence is fascinating; no one gets hurt when a kite is slashed from its string! Though the thought of kids cutting their hands on the glass powder makes me cringe *Yikes*

The images are so vivid; I can picture the little scruffy kids in the street running gleefully to collect the pretty kites as they fall from the sky, sent up from homes of better-off people. It sounds like something from Charles Dickens; a spot of beauty in a grubby orphan's life, something they can own for themselves.

Perhaps you should bring the focus in on the main character sooner, as she bustles around helping her family send off kites and prepare food. Her brother in law could even invite her to join and she declines out of fear. This would help with the old adage of "show, don't tell" as Sarla becomes a part of the action, and we do as well, building a connection with her as she experiences the festival.

Also, a touch of more sensory detail here and there might be helpful to engage us in the environment: the scent and taste of the sumptuous Indian foods, for example. When Chandrakant takes his snack break, what's he eating exactly?

This was a wonderful, enjoyable read which taught me something new.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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12
12
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I’m riding a wave of inspiration! I hope Annette doesn’t mind us hogging I Write 2025 *Shock2*

How do you make everything look so easy? I struggle with those Elevator Pitches like *Crazy* This was so fun to read, and it nailed all the requirements to set the groundwork for a rollicking rom-com. In fact, the cute critters would make for a great movie visual.

One thing making this concept harder for me is that I don’t know how to go about setting it up… do I write out the whole thing from beginning to end, like an extremely brief Wikipedia plotline? Or do I leave a cliffhanger like the back of a dust jacket? Is it a complete story? No, it’s supposed to make us want more, to find out what happens in the end.

So, with that in mind, I might suggest thinking about writing yours in such a way as to leave off the most important part, the climax, to give us more of a “proposal” feel and less of a “summarization” feel, if you know what I mean. Another thing I struggle with is storytelling that’s too “easy,” without any “drama.” If it doesn’t have gangsters or a showdown, it’s either a sweet children’s story or something that bores me to death as I’m writing it *Rolling* I’m not saying yours is boring at all, rather marveling at how good you are at incorporating your prompts into something fun and engaging and perfectly logical (for the most part *Wink*)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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13
13
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings, Sonali!

Well, we’re busy taking over I Write 2025 here *Laugh* I’m finally getting my steam rolling after floundering for the first seven days of February…

This is a super quick and simple read, showing us a young boy hesitant to try new foods and break his vegan diet as imposed by his mom. His willingness to accommodate his hostess is admirable. We see no underlying reasons why he should deny himself meat, such as a devotion to strict Hinduism. With that unaddressed, we can relax and cheer him on for being open minded.

When I write for the Writer’s Cramp, I like to include the prompt at the bottom for future reference. Also, a third genre would be good to help with Quill Nominations, such as Friendship. Other than that, this was a pleasant read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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14
14
for entry "Life CyclesOpen in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

Well, I feel like I’m meeting you for the first time *Pthb* Why did I never think of looking at your portfolio and bio tab before? I’ve had you misgendered and stereotyped for months. I apologize *Blush*

This is a perfect example of “professional,” literary grade poetry. You paint word pictures carefully balanced on the page, with sensory details utilizing a well rounded vocabulary and crafting a sweeping yet loving and heartfelt overview of one’s life, from childhood to maturity. I deeply appreciate everything about it. Have you entered this into Shadows and Light yet? I’m sure it’s just what they’re looking for.

I always add a line count (and indeed a word count) at the bottom of the item just out of my own curiosity and in case I enter it into whatever. Say, upon closer examination (I’m looking for things to suggest so this review qualifies for the BEAR project) I see you didn’t actually use the word “daisies” as the prompt suggests. Is that a requirement? Perhaps dandelions will do.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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15
15
Review of I am a Top Hat  Open in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

A brisk and cheerful poem we have here, personifying a chosen Monopoly piece as per the Writer's Cramp prompt. It captures some of the rollicking fun of the game, as we see people's small "fortunes" and "property portfolios" change hands with the toss of a die.

I like the repetition of lines and the way you've centered the text and made it nice and large.

At the third verse, I might suggest the phrase would rather be "end up" than "land up." And the comma at "what did you do" is superfluous. Other than that this piece flows well and conveys some of the fun of the classic board game.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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16
16
for entry "ZenithOpen in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I deeply sympathize with your dislike of forms, especially when I have no idea what theme to write around! I always hesitate to complain about it, and I'm learning how to be patient and work with the form to create something that's rather fun.

You seem to have handled it with self-conscious aplomb; despite your tongue in cheek complaints, you nailed the form requirements *Smile*

I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font, but since I'm on mobile at the moment I can't tell what you've used. As for other recommendations, all I can think of is a bit of encouragement to keep up the good work. Only a few months left for this challenge!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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17
17
Review of Unseen  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.
It's always a delight seeing how we approach the prompts uniquely. You've given yours a sadness which I appreciate, as a quick glance at the pretty flowers offered as the prompt might lead one to create only the most trite of poetry.

Not so here, as you set out a situation like a detective story in words which almost feel metaphorical, especially when you write about feeding the fire, as if the person you're discussing fed it with their soul. The scene is well painted, with a heartfelt sense of misunderstanding at the end when we see the touching consideration the other person missed.

A line count is always important when doing the PPC5, as Lilli needs to see if you've got 12 lines. I can't seem to count them well on mobile, which is one of the annoying things about online poetry; even when one cuts the line, it's hard to tell where exactly it ends when a longer sentence runs across the screen and down the other side.

Aside from this little note, I think this is a perfect vignette capturing something which reminds me of a forlorn love song.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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18
18
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kotaro!

I noticed this on my sidebar yesterday and couldn't resist.

It's a heartwarming tale of a friendly robot detective helping out a damsel in distress, with the added twist of her being a vengeful ghost. I love how Isaac's well-meaning character comes through in the creative use of first person perspective; it makes for such an engaging read. I like how he described his office and distinguished it from that of a "noir" human detective. (Does Isaac have any built-in defense mechanisms?) The final solution is amusingly simple, requiring a calculation on the part of Issac of an experience he'd never had before.

This is the kind of setup I'd love to see made into a series; you have a lot of storytelling potential here, maybe even as a set of "Hardy Boys" type adventures for young people.

Your formatting is splendid; the font is so large it comes through on mobile.

The second sentence needs a comma after "solving crime," and the third paragraph gets a bit messy at the end, with a dropped period. And at the dialogue where Isaac says "where are you" there should be a question mark, and "you're" is misspelled as "your." There may be other proofreading errors which you should tidy up throughout to create a more professional presentation *Smile*

I would highly suggest you enter this at "Twisted Tales ContestOpen in new Window. hosted by Arakun the twisted raccoon Author Icon. She'd love to read it, and I always need more competition there as it's an underrated contest *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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19
19
Review of The Promise  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Sumojo!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

Well, this was distressing. A simple but deadly mistake, and a misunderstanding that can never be explained. Wildfires are a serious thing... I wanted to shout at Paul to bring the radio with him, but it was too late.

It takes the prompt into account well, setting up a situation where Paul seemingly didn't stick to the plan when it wasn't his fault at all. I can't say I like it, especially seeing the havoc the LA fires have wreaked in the US. Who knows how many times that situation might have played out in real life.

One suggestion... At the end, it says Sarah stood "silent," but she was crying out about the plan "over and over." Perhaps this could be reconciled.

Take care, thanks for sharing, good luck at the contest, and keep writing *HeartT*

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20
20
Review of Metis Saved Me  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to WdC, Elon!

We meet again, as I do my daily review to maintain a weekly streak. I saw this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked promising.

I wonder how many people think this is a true story. You've written something which feels almost unwittingly vulnerable, narrating from the point of view of someone who has nothing left to live for but the birds in the park. By the kindness of a stranger, he acquires the binoculars which open a new world up to his jaded eyes, one which engages him and draws him away from the meaningless void of addiction.

I like to think the man sees himself reflected in the scrappy family of birds struggling to survive on the streets, and as he feeds them he is in a way feeding himself as well. Their power of flight reminds him he can escape his situation if he wants to, or if someone would just help him out a little.

Remember what I said before about Size 4 Verdana font; it makes a delightful difference in the way your writing looks to others. Also, a line break between each piece of dialogue is recommended, rather than running it all into a single paragraph.
And the genres again: "Philosophical" and "Drama" would be good choices for this quiet, thoughtful "kitchen sink" piece.

At the fifth sentence, I would suggest adding a "don't" to the explanation that the narrator knows nothing about birds. Oh yeah, and if you're going to say "sh*t," the item is no longer rated E. Just a friendly note *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
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Review of It Gets Better  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Elon, and welcome to Writing.com!

I’ve seen your work here previously and couldn’t decide if you were a “serious” member or not. I mean, I almost thought the name “Elon” was a spoof on the guy we know all too well these days *Laugh*

Reading this item, I was touched by your thoughtfulness and consideration of the people you see passing by. I relate deeply to this on all sides, as I’m an introvert who prefers to watch people and write about them than actually interact with them. I know what compassion and empathy mean on paper, and I think I have those feelings, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how to make them evident in the real world. I’m a Pisces, and I’ve always felt this deep dichotomy between so many angles of my life. The written word vs the spoken word, the visual vs the written, solitude vs companionship, atheism vs spirituality, excess vs minimalism, on and on. So, not knowing what else to do, I end up sitting back and watching the world pass me by most of the time.

Have you figured out how to use the row of formatting tiles above the text entry box? "Writing.Com 101Open in new Window. has lots of useful info on how to make your items look their best. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font for clarity and ease of reading. Genres are also a crucial element of WdC. People use them to browse for things they’re interested in reading, and they may not find your work if you don’t choose all three. I would recommend “Philosophy,” “Personal,” and “Inspirational” for this one. Be flexible and you’ll find lots of options. A word count at the top or in your subtitle is also a good idea so we know what we’re getting into.

As a monologue of your thoughts, this is a well written and relatable piece. Even if it’s fictionalized, it shows you have a skill for crafting thought provoking and even uplifting items to share with us.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com, Michael!

I’ve seen your work before but was never quite sure of what I thought about it enough to write you a good review. This one caught my fancy for some reason when I saw it on the sidebar.

I like it; it’s a simple, cozy sort of tale with a futuristic twist. The subtle themes behind the two vastly different species coming together and appreciating each other are thoughtful, as the metaphor extends to human interactions as well. We often feel unsure or awkward reaching out to those who appear different from us, and James’ hesitation to speak to the one he’s attracted to is instantly relatable as well as comfortably trite.

Simple formatting fixes which are highly recommended around here for a smoother reading experience include: Size 4 Verdana font, double spaces or indented lines rather than running everything into one single block, and I also noticed you forgot to place a scene divider at “longed and hoped for.” The next paragraph indicates a new scene, their first date, but the only way I realized that is when you described her new outfit. You can access all the required formatting tools in the row of tiles above the text entry box. Our proprietary markup language is quite simple, built around use of {…}, known as “curly brackets.” A word count at the top is also helpful so we know what we’re getting into, especially since you have the author name and title repeated there anyway. We also like to encourage the use of all three genres so people can find items more easily when browsing. It also helps your work be nominated for Quill Genre awards. I think “Career,” “Relationship,” or “Friendship” would do.

Now, I’m not really a romance reader, so as I read this I kept looking for something more dramatic to happen. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine the way it is, but a few thoughts follow on how to add interest and make it run a little deeper than a trite meet story…

Characters are the most important part of your story, and bringing them fully to life is crucial. Development of character traits, such as an endearing flaw or a quirky habit, helps add interest and engagement. Conflict and tension keeps the stakes high and leads to a character arc as the protagonist discovers something about themselves or the world around them by achieving goals and forging relationships through obstacles at high stakes. What’s the payoff for James if he makes this relationship work? What sad state will he be in if he fails? The stakes could be a little higher to keep us engaged with the narrative.

And now a final note, one which you might find terribly insulting… how much AI generation went into this piece? I seem to detect certain generalizing phrases which AI chat bots like to use. I won’t paste it into an AI content detector because they’re notoriously inaccurate. I’m probably being hyper sensitive because I don’t know you. Just ignore this paragraph *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
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for entry "Lost at SeaOpen in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings!

I'm here from I Write 2025.

I believe this is the first time I've had the chance to review a fellow entry in the Hook of the Book. It was a good idea to write it into a book entry and use for this activity. And may I ask how you were able to access the image prompt? Do you think it'll still be visible when Jeremy changes it in the forum? He never leaves one up after it's done with. You may want to write a description of the image in case it goes away.

You've captured a tantalizing situation in only 63 words, giving us a fine hook that encapsulates the image while going beyond it.

I had immediately come up with the twist of a human stowaway in the trunk, and so did others as well, but mine occupied a lot more words than yours, mostly because I approached it from the perspective of dialoguing magpies. For a hook and an opening setup, yours is definitely quite succinct, though it doesn't draw in the sharks (but how could it, considering the perspective?)

If I had to make any suggestions, it would be to continue this story at a later date - I'm excited to know more about this character and what becomes of them! Though as you might realize, first person PoV almost always guarantees survival of the narrator - unless the author is Jeff Author Icon *Shock2*

Wouldn't it be fun to make a Drabble (100 word story) out of this image prompt? Remember, the hook is only the opening which grabs the reader's interest. The Drabble has a beginning, middle and end. I have a whole collection of Drabbles which ended up turning into a hodgepodge of odds and ends similar to this - a sort of author's junk drawer. Seems like most of us around here have at least one book of micro writing.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
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Review of TEDDY  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings!

I saw your Newsfeed post and dropped by to read your item. I love your personal narrative here, sharing the story of the bears you used to have and how you've made your little treasured bear by hand.

I've been thinking about taking up crochet or knitting myself lately, because I realized I need to do something physically productive with my hands... Long story. I spend most of my time on screens of one kind or another, and after a while I need to change to a different medium of creation.

I feel bad saying this, but you have a small laundry list of typos here that I feel the need to let you know of *Smile*
1. "Grizzly" bear
2. "Branching out from"
3. "Getting bored"
4. "Crochet yarn"
5. "Kind of" and "aviator's" and "to/too"

Now to answer your final question. I love making digital artwork, and lately I feel as though writing is my favorite way to create. I'm obsessive, so I can only seem to do one creative hobby at a time, throwing myself into it as much as possible.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
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Review of Lane 96  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Ricardo!

Nice to meet you. This story was an interesting step into Twilight Zone surrealism. You have a good descriptive style, setting up the scene and arranging the circumstances in an amusingly strange and mysterious way.

I appreciate the nice large font you've used; it comes through even on mobile. Size 4 Verdana is my favorite.

I have a couple minor suggestions and then some larger points to make. First, the idea of a road "looming" in the opening sentence seems a bit off. Roads stretch, weave, even maybe "yawn," but since the road is not actively coming towards you, I'm not sure you can say it "looms." Now I'm thinking of the Imagine Dragons album Loom and what the lead singer said explaining why he chose that name. Perhaps it's ok after all *Pthb* in which case it's quite creative of you *Smile*

Second super simple typo is brakes/breaks. Brakes are for cars and are the kind you're looking for.

Another typo I just noticed is the sentence which begins "Jumping out of it’s way..." The word should be "its," and the entire sentence is a dangling modifier.

Now, a larger point would be... The story kind of rambles. I mean, the beginning and middle don't particularly lead us to the end. It's a surprise, of course, as we are absorbed in Brian's thoughts about his family, but by the time the story is over we realize all of his familial ruminations were unrelated to anything else. Ultimately, it feels like it lacks a theme or an overarching thought, perhaps even being disjointed. I'm not exactly sure what to suggest here... Maybe if the aunt had mentioned something about a mirage in the woods, it would help tie things together and foreshadow what happens next.

Other than that, this is a pretty interesting tale with potential to be a lot more of a thriller if you look it over with a fresh perspective.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*

Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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