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938 Public Reviews Given
939 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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Review of The Black Hat  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, Iā€™m here to review your item for I Write 2024.

Iā€™m happy to find a story written for the Quotation Inspiration this month, as itā€™s always difficult to gauge participation in the Official WdC contests until after the fact. I guess I like to see what ideas other people have to interpret the prompt, especially this one.

We have here a story of two men, friends from way back, who have a misunderstanding over the place of the friend in the home of the one heā€™s come to move in with. It was tastefully written, save for the one f-bomb and the sh*t (both of which are acceptable for the rating anyway) I wasnā€™t sure how dark it would get or how literally the prompt would be interpreted, and was relieved at the quick, blunt ending. It is written simply and clearly, drawing together the theme of good and bad as seen in the Westerns so enjoyed by the two when they were young. I enjoyed the Australian setting and the subtle reminder that Christmas takes place in the summer down under.

The plot feels rather trite and predictable, as we can immediately anticipate the danger lurking in Samā€™s desire to host his friend, especially seeing as that the friend had an affair and thatā€™s what started the mess in the first place. Sam must have been quite blinded by friendship to not realize the obvious risk involved. In fact, Iā€™ve had that kind of story in my head for years, wondering if it would be worth writing. I also thought of something simplistic like that for the Quotation Inspiration, but I didnā€™t really want to deal with such a topic. My latest idea for it - before the month runs out! - is a fantasy.

I would recommend underlining the datelines in order to present a tidier organization, and also adding a few centered stars in between scenes to divide them more clearly. And I never thought Iā€™d say this, but maybe a slightly smaller font size would give it a more ā€œmatureā€ appearance? I like size 4 for everything.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *Smile* *Heartg*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of ~I'm Coming Home~  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Wow, what a story. Brief and touching, yet so simple in the rendering. We see the heartbroken woman, her desire to be a mother, her rescue of the infant and her brave yet startling decision to run away with the baby girl to a new life in Mexico.

I see nothing to correct or change here; this is the kind of flash fiction Iā€™d like to be able to write. Iā€™m curious that it was a weekly prompt; nowadays Arakun hosts her prompts daily, which is quite a feat because she has to get them all judged and posted up by midnight.

Thatā€™s a gorgeous award icon, and well deservedā€¦ and now I have to figure out how to fill in four hundred more characters *Laugh* This is the final review of your port raid from me, and I must say it was a lot of fun. I never really stopped by your port for more than a brief glanceā€¦ and thereā€™s still plenty more to explore. I didnā€™t have the time or energy to check out the Lou Ryan detective stories, for example.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work - youā€™re greatly appreciated around here *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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203
Review of "The Best Gift"  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Whoa, what a stunning and beautiful story we have here! I love it, and heeding your request at the bottom that we donā€™t offer suggestions as to changing it would be easy. Honestly, I canā€™t think of a thing I would change about it, aside from the basic and monotonous observation to use Size 4 Verdana font, which Iā€™ve said to you enough times already *Laugh*

The cherished moments of a newly minted family are heartfelt and touching, reminding us that families should be whole and happy and sometimes the very Angel we need to help us heal is the one we have unknowingly ā€œentertained at our homeā€¦ā€ Iā€™m thinking of a quote from the Book of Hebrews right now (13:2ā€¦)

It also reminds us how ā€œall things work for goodā€ and even the darkest tragedy has light at the end of the tunnel. It is a story of hope and resilience, of a motherā€™s love that stretched across the boundaries of life and provided an answer to the problems caused by such sudden loss.

This is a striking work, and for a newbie itā€™s quite commendable. I would hope some of my work leaves a lasting impression in such a way.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
204
204
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Oh my, what an absurd situation! It plays with essential horror elements in a fairytale way which has us wondering by the end whether the story is as straightforward as it might appear. For one thing, we are presented with an unreliable narrator, who views the people they are entrusted to escort as stupid pests. We also see the narratorā€™s carelessness in not preparing more effectively for the storm and the journey through the woods. They also display a certain callousness in barging into the unlocked dwelling. Surely they should have noticed signs of current habitation once they got in.

The tension rises as we encounter the ferocious cat, which creates some serious damage to the man and the window. We canā€™t help chuckling a little when we see the ā€œfedora shaped holeā€ in the window and marvel that the hat never left his head. The absurdity of the situation escalates when the cat wreaks further havoc and the broom is used ineffectively against it.

So as not to summarize the entire story, which I seem to be doing for some reason, Iā€™ll simply say it was hilarious and sinister at the same time, teasing us with hints of underlying danger and a birdwatching adventure gone awry that wasnā€™t all that well thought out in the first place.

I would suggest Size 4 Verdana font, and also you might want to tidy up the list of funny people and their characteristics at the beginning. Long lists with several components should be separated by both semicolons and commas for clarity.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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205
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, the drama of parenting daughters. You have captured the weirdness and frustration of such without being too personally specific, and given us a bright idea to help our own families out in such a way by preparing them for the inevitable growing up moment.

Itā€™s really a very time honored thing to do, as evidenced by hope chests, dowries and other such things. Every family has a responsibility to set their daughters up in the right direction and provide love and support, up to a certain point, and itā€™s good to know your kids turned out ok and appreciate all the effort that went into their upbringing. As a daughter, I know the drama all too well, having caused plenty of havoc and mayhem in my day *Laugh*

Your narrative is clear, showing and telling without delving into dialogue or play-by-play that could slow it down or appear too fictionalized. We see a mother who wants the best for her girls and desires to avoid conflict in the most productive way possible.

I would definitely suggest using Size 4 Verdana font here, but aside from that I donā€™t see anything wrong. The mention of that French card game at the beginning is nifty; I had to google that real quick as I was reading. Perhaps a word count at the top would be a good idea so we know what weā€™re getting into.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of White Balloons  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A quietly contemplative free verse poem centering around the narratorā€™s encounter with a burial in the drizzling rain.

The scene is painted with truly poetic clarity: the folded umbrellas signifying the peopleā€™s obliviousness to the rain in their grieving, the white balloons indicating the passing of a child, the mother and girl standing separately, the poignant questions that arise as one views the scene. All is laid out in large, clear font, with the narratorā€™s internal questions separating the different observations into groups.

The free verse flows conversationally, and we feel like participants in the moment, standing in the cool damp, sharing the grief with everyone and wondering why such tragedies take place and how to move on. I especially appreciate the opening and closing repetition, with a touch of rhyme at the end; it reminds me of the great poetry of old, none of which I can particularly remember at the momentā€¦ā€For Whom the Bell Tollsā€ or something.

Overall it is a striking, memorable poem, and I have no suggestions for improvement.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

We have here a fond description of your Southern US winter home, presumably in Florida. You show us a glimpse into the reminiscences of the classic denizens of old Dixieland, though upon closer inspection, the memories recited by the couple are actually about Scotland, not the US. Itā€™s like a story within a story, arranged in the casual free verse of a poem.

The enjoyment derived from your half-yearly stay down there is evident in phrases like ā€œhome away from homeā€ and ā€œA fond farewell,ā€ and we see the lasting friendships formed that transcend the time and distance, to pick up where they left off next winterā€¦ though there is always the worry that they may no longer be around. Gentle whimsy is provided by the big old word ā€œoctogenarian,ā€ and I love the charming anecdote about the Scottish New Yearā€™s traditions.

I might suggest including a line count within the item, but itā€™s not a big deal. Your formatting is excellent, and the lines flow freely along in a conversational manner.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
208
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ok, when I saw the name ā€œJoeyā€ in the first sentence, I had my suspicionsā€¦ which were confirmed when I saw the name ā€œGabyā€ in the next paragraph *Rolling* That was slick. How intense were things getting in the last GoT?

An alarming fairytale of what happened to a mischievous little girl who ventured too close to the opening to ā€œH E double hockey sticksā€, as people say around here. It was well written, conveying the shock of such a horrific sight and the hideous depiction of the devil with memorable clarity. We of course understand that it is make believe, a story invented by Joeyā€™s mom, but at the end we donā€™t really get a clear view of the impact it had on Joey. Did the scary story fix his bad behavior, or did he forget all about it in a day or two?

Spelling and grammar looks good. Your font is a good choice for everyone except iPad usersā€¦ mind if I complain vigorously about Appleā€™s substitution of some highfalutin, nearly illegible script called Snell Roundhand for the good Comic font so popular around here? Iā€™d like to give them a piece of my mindā€¦ *Crazy*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
209
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

I'm here for three more items in your port raid, hon *Laugh*

I love a good nature poem, and this captures the essence of everything I look for. You have the metaphorical descriptions of the scenery, the winter snows and the flighty charm of the little birds.

Your free verse flows smoothly down through the narrative, and the words bring it to life in a true poetic fashion. We can see your love for the juncos in the caring way you've fed them over the winter and the way you think so fondly of them. Yet you hardly realized their absence until you thought you caught a glimpse of them at the Florida feeder. Such is the way of life... We don't realize how much we miss something until we look for it and it isn't there.

The lines are well balanced and easy to read. I would recommend gathering the Wikipedia quote into a dropnote for tidiness, and you can underline the title header.

As a free verse, autobiographical poem, I don't have much to suggest. I'm laidback about poetry rules and structure, as being too lazy to bother with meter and syllable counts myself. Certainly I'm not qualified to advise anyone about those things *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
210
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Review of E-Mail  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Ah, is this ever relatable. I think everyone on the planet who has an email address knows the feeling of being bombarded with materialistic messages while longing for some kind of real connection to come through the inbox!

You've cleverly employed repetition, building up the different feelings that escalate to sheer exhaustion as you navigate cyber mounds of nonsensical spam that leaves us chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

You've expressed the frustration at not receiving the emails you want or need to see, while being swamped by spam that you carefully and tastefully describe. The lines are well balanced and easy to read, and the occasional rhymes add playfulness to the tone despite the distress.

I use Gmail and I'm quite happy to report that I get almost zero unsolicited spam in my inbox. I do, however, sign myself up for an endless number of newsletter type things, anything from Christian worldview news, to daily Hebrew lessons, to a frustrating amount of daily ads from craft stores and other places I have a membership with.

I've had to clear my subscriptions at least twice in the past couple years... At one point I was throwing out over 100 emails a week! Even now, I'm working with a backlog of news articles and lessons that I should be reading, stretching all the way to last Christmas *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
211
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Review of In My Tiny Room  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A beautiful representation of your personal writing process: enclosed, quiet and alone with your thoughts and dreams, to capture them on the pages like so many fluttering butterflies.

I like how it's structured, with carefully balanced line lengths drawing us smoothly through the free flowing verses to the conclusion.

I can identify with this, as I find I write best in a quiet place by myself... But I suppose everyone does - though there are those who write things while sitting at Starbucks. Goodness, I'd be so busy people watching and listening to the ambient music, I wouldn't be able to write a thing *Laugh* I'm easily distracted, I suppose. Anything to get away from the noise inside my head, which ultimately only adds to the noise as I fill it with distractions.

Anyway, you have a good personal poem here, rife with colorful metaphors that build in layers and demonstrate what you mean in showing terms, rather than simply saying "I like to write in a locked room by myself!"

And now I'm thinking about Imagine Dragons and their new song Eyes Closed... If you'll allow me to go off on a silly tangent. It's a song where the lead declares "lock me up in a cage! Just throw away the key, don't worry about me - I can do this with my eyes closed..." And I understand that to be his personal struggle with mental health and the consequences of his actions. He wants to be alone to deal with himself, to do battle within his own mind, and that internal battle produces much of the music that we get from his band.

I couldn't help drawing the comparison... I'm not trying to imply that you're saying you go in a room by yourself because of your mental health. It's a simple way to get some peace and quiet to write in, to tap into your innermost thoughts and feelings and lay those out.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
212
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Review of When Mama Wrote  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A beautiful and heartfelt poem expressing the memories of the narratorā€™s mother as she agonizes and coaxes her poetry into existence with her pencil.

I love how youā€™ve created these beautiful images of the lady hard at work with just a few key phrases, creative and unique. The metaphor of a roller coaster ride is indicative of the depth of emotion and feeling that went into the motherā€™s creations, and we understand the trepidation involved with being so vulnerable as to pour her heart out upon the page, sifting through the harsh realities of her life to create something that becomes a lasting legacy.

The metaphors employed create a rich sense of meaning in many layers, as we open with the phrase ā€œplastic shopping bags in flightā€ to describe the free whirling escape of her words across the page, wild and yet cautious at the same time, as indicated by the closing line of the first verse, ā€œunwilling to tell too much.ā€

We close the poem with an understanding of how much the motherā€™s poetry means to the child, as we see them clutching the papers close and feeling the shared sense of joy and escape that the mother did, leading to a stronger bond of love and respect, no matter the present distance between them.

The poem is arranged artistically, with carefully balanced lines that flow freely down the page and lead us smoothly through the memories. This is excellent poetry, and I really enjoyed reading it. Your teal Award Icon is well deserved.

Thanks for sharing, take care, and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
213
213
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

What a nice idea for us to help each other in our writing journey by reading, sharing and writing about the published works of our WdC friends. I didnā€™t know Princess Megan was a published author.

Your rewards are quite generous, and they make me feel tempted to join the funā€¦ but unfortunately this looks like a project that has entirely petered out. Are you still doing this? I didnā€™t see any signs that anyone was ever rewarded for their efforts. Maybe I didnā€™t look far enough back in the forum. It would be fun to get this rolling again. You have set it up quite nicely, with clear directions as to what to do and how to post oneā€™s work, and I canā€™t think of any suggestions for improvement, especially considering it seems to be dormant.

It seems like an excellent idea, and I feel bad that it fell flat in such a manner. The WdC product reviews are still going fairly strong as far as I know. Perhaps you can have a fundraiser of some kind to get this up and running againā€¦ or perhaps a poll to see if anyone is interested. Maybe the idea is not popular.

Take care, thanks for hosting this, and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 
214
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A wise and informative article about creating an epiphany in oneā€™s stories. I find that oneā€™s inner worldview plays a role in what kind of epiphanies one crafts for the characters. Though I strive to maintain positivity in my items, sometimes I question whether a ā€œhappyā€ ending is bestā€¦ other times I feel as though the ending was neither here nor there, and rather fell flat instead.

What is important is what the characters learn, whether about themselves or the outside world. The observation towards the end that one might have gone a little too easy on the character is a good point, as one doesnā€™t usually learn much unless much is gone through. I can think of at least one story of mine where, though the main character does reach an epiphany of sorts, it doesnā€™t really lead to a shift in behavior for him. The flaws that brought him to that stage are still present, which leads to the realization that the story has no real resolution and the resolving of the final conflict is tenuous at best. But, since itā€™s a contest entry, Iā€™ll have to wait until next month before considering how to make it better. (Really, one can consider as much as you like until youā€™re ready to write. Nothing wrong with that.)

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. A word count might be a good idea so we know when we have a chance to read it. The writing is clear and concise, and the concept of a literary epiphany is well defined.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Hello, Kitty!  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

An amusing and rollicking tale of an adopted cat and her thirteen kittens - eek!

For the first few sentences I thought maybe it was a true biographical story, which is silly, but I had just come from your wedding forum and your extended bio and still had my mind stuck in nonfiction.

I don't understand how people could make this grammatical error: "Opening the door, she entered the house with grace..." The cat did not open the door for herself! I hope you don't misplace the object of the sentence these days, Gaby. It's quite annoying when I see people doing that.

It's funny, my Mom adopted a feral cat who turned out to be expecting kittens many years ago. She tells me how she noticed strange bumps on the cat's belly and brought her to the vet... Those were nipples!

The heroine's attempt at solving her wild kitten overload is certain to only make things far worse - how ever did she come up with that idea? A Husky - oh boy *Rolling* I can imagine the adorable videos going viral, but peace and quiet in that household will be a thing of the past.

A thoroughly enjoyable story, and a fun adventure into the long-ago depths of your port. I really liked conducting this raid, but I won't be going beyond ten reviews because I just don't see the point, due to the Daily Review Rewards program. It feels like overkill - wait'll you see Gervic's efforts in your port!

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
Created for an activity
"The WDC Angel Army" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
216
216
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Wow, a forum celebrating your wedding where the last post was ten years ago *Shock2* I am awed that someone could be around WdC long enough to celebrate such an amazing milestone after already being well known and loved, and then be here long enough again that the items associated sink into the sands of time... In other words, you're really old *Laugh* *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

I hope your marriage is going well. Happy ten going on eleven years, as I'm in too much of a hurry to see what your actual anniversary is *Laugh*

Ok, so how do I review a special occasion forum that no one has disturbed the layer of dust on since the event itself? Well, I'm curious as to how such a forum is created. Who wrote the well wishes? Who orchestrated the inclusion of it within your portfolio? Did you create it as a scrapbook of sorts, or did someone create it and give it to you?

I see even the StoryMaster dropped by to wish you well. What a fine community we have here. We can partake in each other's milestones and share the joys and sorrows of life. We see people come and go; some stay around and build it into their real lives, and others never quite make themselves at home.

Thank you for keeping this open for us. Take care, enjoy your family, and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of Shadow Over July  
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Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A brief and simple poem we have here, lightly worded with just enough to convey the visuals of a hot and fleeting summer vacation.

We don't need much to envision the scenes, since it's such a universal experience.

You've juxtaposed reasons why people might dislike summer and especially that particular moment of their experience with the reasons why such a moment should be precious. We can sense the child enjoying themselves and realize how important it is to live in the moment and appreciate what we've been given.

The free verse flows well and is easy to read. I like how brief it is. In only 49 words you've packed a lot of imagery.

I'm laidback when it comes to poetry... I say that I prefer writing free verse, but lately I've found myself writing with rhyme and presumably some kind of structure more often, as with the Nurse poem for Kiya. But I'd be at a loss to pin down any kind of "scientific" basis for what I write. I disregard rules of structure and form, going mostly by instinct.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*
A wonderful wild summary of the things that make you, you, Gaby. I enjoyed reading this and found it fascinating to see your likes and interests. It's amazing that you've gotten to travel to so many different cities. I've been to a good many in the Southeast myself, and I found that Western North Carolina is a very pleasant place to be, with the hills and valleys and quirky Asheville and the city of Greenville South Carolina just a slippery slide down the slope away... (Our brakes always burned out going on US Route 27 down the mountain...*Laugh*)

Anyway, it was nice getting to know you a bit better. You've broken it down quite clearly and made it easy to read. I did notice one weird moment where you were talking about having fun cooking: "add the indigence that seem to work with it..." you did mean to say "ingredients," right?

Aside from that, since it's obviously a personal revealing of yourself, there's nothing I can say to change anything. That would be a bit silly...

I identify with being a book buyer and a collector, for sure; before I moved out I had accumulated a huge collection of books, some quite old and rare, and I still insist on buying stuffed animals *BigSmile* Room is definitely a factor in limiting my ability to accumulate such things - money as well.

Take care, thanks for sharing so much about yourself, and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of Inner Demons  
Review by
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A dark and moody poem that hints mysteriously at the giving up of life, yet leaves it up to us to determine what exactly is the true meaning. I admire the tight structure and the use of repetition of the introductory verse as bookends to begin and end the poem on a properly haunting note, as we end up with an entirely different understanding of what the first verse might mean by the time we see it again.

I would like to suggest using a larger font size for this item, to give it greater ā€œsignificanceā€ on the screen. Perhaps even giving the font a dusky red hue would add to the eeriness, though one is usually told not to mess around with colors, that the words stand on their own. I would also suggest adding a third genre to give more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award and to help people find it when browsing. You could use ā€œPersonal,ā€ or maybe ā€œDramaā€ or even ā€œMystery.ā€

As a poem about struggling with inner demons, it treads ground that has perhaps been overused in modern culture, as every pop singer male and female has spoken or written or sang about their ā€œdemons.ā€ Growing up, I always understood demons in the strictly literal, old fashioned, orthodox sense - if one had demons, it meant they were possessed, right? It wasnā€™t until I was scared out of my wits by discovering the band Imagine Dragons by way of their song Demons - long story *Rolling* - that I began to realize that the term is used much more loosely in secular society, referring to all manner of emotional issues and mental health struggles.

I donā€™t have anything else to say about the itemā€¦ as one who plays loosely with poetry myself, I canā€™t advise you on the rules. The rhyme and structure flows well, leading us through the labyrinth of the narratorā€™s painful inner situation and leaving us wondering how they dealt with it.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of My Rainbow Bunny  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

A bright and colorful presentation we have here. I feel as though, however, it is hiding some kind of darkness within the soft pastel glow. We see a glimpse of the inconsiderate ways of nature, personified as uncaring parents who ignore the potential suffering of their offspring.

The connection to the subtitle is somewhat unclear: what exactly is ā€œthe gift that keeps on giving?ā€ Is it the eternal changing of the seasons and the chain of life which continues from mother to child across species and down through the generations, bringing the cycles of nature and the environment into balance?

This does create a cute picture in my mind at the end, where I can imagine a pure white bunny sliding to a stop under the multicolored light of a rainbow, and the light turns him into a rainbow rabbit. You see such things sometimes on ā€œcute animal videos,ā€ where a critter discovers a prism or a rainbow sunbeam and basks in it.

I donā€™t quite understand the rainbow emerging ā€œdeep within a wellā€¦ā€ is that supposed to have some significance? Sometimes poetry makes me feel as though Iā€™m missing something, though I feel silly admitting it.

The rhythm and rhyme is good, and the poem flows along quite well, with almost a surrealist or ā€œAlice in Wonderlandā€ feel to it.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *HeartG*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of Booster C-Notes  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*


Ah, an encouraging and spunky selection of C Notes for giving someone you know that little extra nudge. I have a friend who could use one of these, but heā€™s a bit cantankerous and would possibly be insulted. *Laugh* You have to be careful to send it with the right attitude to someone who would appreciate it.

Your cost is reasonable, but I see there are only 8 to choose from in this series. Perhaps a couple more to bring it up to the max wouldnā€™t hurt. As a rule, I like a bit more variety in the selection.

Inspiration is one of those things that is nearly impossible to catch, like butterflies. We can sit and stew all day over a prompt or a project that isnā€™t going anywhere, but sometimes it seems like the more we sit back by ourselves and fuss over it, the less actually gets done and the less inspired or motivated we feel. I have found that chatting with a friend about plot ideas and concepts that I thought at first made no sense at all, helps to rationalize the ideas and give me a reason to dive right into them.

Perhaps sending one of these notes could jumpstart a conversation about the stalled progress that could help the person to feel more motivated and confident in their own imaginations.

Thanks for offering these unique conceptual images for us to buy and share.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Zoinks, what a tale *Rolling* You're quite lucky your mom didn't have any lasting effects from that attack of gambling exhilaration.

As someone who's never been to Reno and hopes I never do, I enjoyed the glimpse into a different world: dark, crowded, noisy, and blitzing with nickels! I have an addictive personality, at least it appears that way (sometimes I call it "loyalty...") And I don't think I could handle such madness.

This was clear, bright, fast-paced and hilarious. I'm going to have a difficult time getting reviewing characters for your items, because they're all quite good and I can't think of anything to suggest. An amusing story of a mother swept up in a world she'd never experienced before and a daughter trying to get her out of it - why, if you hadn't found her, she'd be there to this day!

You can add a third genre to make it easier to find when browsing. I would suggest "Experience" or "Personal." Perhaps "Regional" would do as well. Genres don't have to match perfectly.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review of The Stroll  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*
Your port raid begins, hon *BigSmile* I'll do it over a few days in combination with the 10 Tedious Task reviews for Joy. Not that it matters to you...

Goodness, what a surreal story. I wasn't sure what was going on, as one peculiar thing after another happened. It doesn't quite hold together... I mean, the beginning with the dwarf (is there some more PC medical term?) and the envelope of money doesn't have anything to do with the ending. I'm a little confused.

But I do understand the main point, that a mother wants to hold on for her children. I know I've considered that as a central theme of a thriller kind of story myself. It has a lot of potential.
Anyway, I'm reading this on my phone, so I don't know how you've formatted it. Presumably you're aware of the "size 4 Verdana font" mantra around here.

A spooky story that melds realism and fantasy in a way that reminds us of a great truth of life. I enjoyed reading it and I don't really have much to offer for suggestions.

Thanks for sharing, take care and keep writing *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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224
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

Welcome to writing.com! I hope you're enjoying yourself around here.

What a cool story. I wasn't sure what to expect, but you've written it tastefully and with the assurance that this is a good thing happening to Sammy. He escapes the confines of what is probably a dull and boring life, and releases traits that are almost superhuman except for the fact that they're subhuman... One wonders what became of his higher reasoning, thoughts and human feelings.

We see his characteristics slowly changing from human into some sort of animal, and it was interesting trying to guess what type. I was thinking perhaps a fox until the feline aspects became obvious. An interesting thing about cats, is they eat only meat. They're unable to eat anything else. Dogs, on the other hand, are categorized as omnivores. I was surprised to learn this, as I grew up assuming dogs only ate meat as well and wondering why dog food has so much "human" stuff in it, like carrots and cheese and grains.

It reads clearly and builds up well. I don't have a lot to recommend; perhaps you could run it through Grammarly, because I did see a couple of sentences that felt kind of awkward, though I couldn't tell you exactly why. (Guess that's not very helpful *Laugh*)

Great work here, with several layers of meaning. I look forward to seeing what else you might have for us.

Take care, thanks for sharing, keep writing and have fun here *Heartg*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" , I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. Iā€™m here to help my team win *Smile*

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

Oh my, what an amusing yet distressing situation! It reads as if there were at least six people crowded into the carriage - I was a little surprised to find there were only four. But I haven't read much Dickens lately; I suppose four is the limit, of course.

How ever did you think of writing this? Was it inspired by one of the endless assortment of prompts Gaby has provided at GoT? Never mind, I just looked at the creation date and saw it's from November of last year. That's the kind of thing I always forget to look at. Perhaps you should list the prompt inspiration at the bottom for reference.

Wonderfully descriptive of a motley and old-fashioned combination of people, each with a unique smell that soon becomes something else... Oh dear. Not flatulence, thankfully. Doggy doo can always be scraped off on the doorstep.

I see no areas for improvement in this quick and funny vignette. It reminds us of the great variety of humanity and how easily we can collide.

Thanks for sharing, take care, and enjoy yourself at GoT *Heartg*


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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