\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: ON
1,267 Public Reviews Given
1,270 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 14 ... Next
201
201
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "Water" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I’m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge, to review your work.

Has anyone else aside from me found it hard to settle on just one Kimo? I wrote not one but four. Once I got the hang of the syllables - honestly, syllable counting is getting easier for me each time I sit down and try. I used to say rather “proudly” in my reviews that I detest counting syllables and fussing over form, but practice makes better… now I’m considering trying my hand at a sonnet for "Poetic Traditions Poetry Contest " Open in new Window.. Why not?

Anyway, this hits the nail on the head, capturing a universal moment of sheer physics in a crisply photographic way and sticking to the requirements. I’ve watched many a water drop make the precipitous journey from the tip of the tap down into the sink. As a child I was fascinated by such simple things and learned a lot from them. On YouTube we can even watch cats playing with and staring at water drops.

Have fun with your project! I’m looking forward to reading and reviewing more of your work over the coming months.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
202
202
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings!

I’m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

I like how you’ve captured your thoughts on a current and sensitive topic. It’s like a quick notebook scribble, a moment’s observation, without being overly dramatic or taking any particular side.

Now, I don’t know if you care or not, and I don’t usually fuss about poetry, but I do have a few humble suggestions here. It appears, according to my count, that your syllables are off from the form requirements. The first line is 11 syllables, the second is 7 (correctly) but the third is also 7. The initials J. D. should count for two syllables, as they are pronounced as two words. Also, your "Walz" autocorrected to "Waltz," which is understandable.

Other than that, it's fine. I used to detest counting syllables myself; with the help of this poetry project, I'm getting more patient with it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
203
203
Review of Pie charts  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I see you’re off to a good start, with one item in your port. This looks like a school project, describing a pie chart which we don’t actually have access to on this site. If you want, you can use the chart in question as the cover for this item. Or if this is simply a requirement of posting publicly, assigned by your teacher, then you hardly need our advice.

You’ve described the chart well, pulling the stats from the image and sharing them with us along with simple interpretations. I have two suggestions: you should perhaps correct or take a second look at the subtitle, as it appears to have a typo in it. Second, you should perhaps change your selected genre from “Writing.com” to “Educational.”

Aside from that, it looks great! Best of luck around here. If you’re planning to stay and add more content, I would recommend writing a little something about yourself in your bio block.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
204
204
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

We meet again, this time with the help of the Random Read and Review button.

I enjoyed reading this vivid description of an adventure through the jungle. I appreciated the brevity of it. This would be considered a vignette, I believe, although there is some rise and fall of action as the man follows the trail. You made the experience come alive with specific details which engaged the senses, such as the scents of the environment and the sight of the beer cans stuck in the dried out riverbed. There’s enough here for a longer story; it feels like a sample of something quite exciting.

Perhaps a word count in the subtitle would be good so we know what we’re getting into. And again, I’ll remind you gently to add two relevant genres to the item, though your window for Quills is past with this one. You could use “Nature,” “Drama” or “Thriller/Suspense.” Other than that, I can’t think of any suggestions for improvement.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
205
205
Review of Funny World  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I noticed this on my sidebar and thought it looked like a good read. You have proven me right *Smile*

Such a good story, quite realistic and indeed it feels like a true story, but I don’t suppose it is. On the other hand, things like this are quite possible. I love the hopeful ending and the wry humor of how the guy wants the cat to be safe even though he’s in such a precarious position himself. The moments of peace after everyone settled down on the side of the bridge were quite something.

I would suggest adding two more relevant genres for at least a couple good reasons. One, it will help people find your story when browsing through the site, and two, it gives us as many opportunities as possible to nominate your item for Quill Awards. I would recommend “Philosophy,” “Drama,” or “Emotional.” Another thing, I think the sentence about the statistic of people diving off the dark side got a little mixed up; you may want to rephrase it for clarity. The man finds it sad that the one person chose the dark side, not that everyone else did, right?

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
206
206
Review of Emergency Escape  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Johnny, and thank you for requesting a review.

I really enjoyed this. I can see you put a good bit of thought into the three things Samson chose to take with him, and it looks like it would make not only a great flash fiction but also the introduction to an exciting series or longer story.

Now, the first thing I noticed is your title… I think the word “emergency” is misspelled.
Second, I noticed you used at least three different words to identify Samson’s mom: “mums,” “mama,” and “mother.” Also, in the second paragraph she’s named Amber and in the next one she’s Samantha. Is the “mama” his grandmother? I know people use a ton of different pet names for their grannies, and it gets confusing sometimes, “Nana” and “Nona” and “gran-gran” and all that. You need to specify who she is exactly.
Third, I didn’t quite catch what exactly the “hiking and hunting trips” were for if not for “hiking and hunting…” how exactly did Samson’s father misunderstand the purpose of them? I should think a sturdy knife would always be a good idea out in the wilderness (not that the Welsh wilderness is as threatening as the American version, I’m sure *Laugh*)

Aside from that, this was well written and an excellent little read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
207
207
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings! Thank you for requesting a review.

I’m finally here… phew, what a saga. I was dreading it all week because I don't really do longform fiction these days, but when I sat down and actually read it, it didn’t seem like 10,000 words at all by the time I was done. Perhaps that’s because it was such a dark and gripping tale, with the quickly changing scenes keeping me on my toes as I connected all the dots.

For me, it was quite readable for the most part; the different scenes and characters were fairly easy enough to keep straight. But I would recommend you avoid having two characters with the same first letter in their names, especially in such a tangled web: I had a hard time remembering who Milos and Maril were.

It's a dreary, heavy story, full of treachery and confusion, but with a glimmer of hope at the end. If you were looking for helpful advice, I'm not sure I have any. The moral ambiguity and inconclusive ending are quite hip and postmodern, and it would probably be the kind of thing people would like these days, as portraying reality in a more honest way than a simple black and white narrative.

You write well, with dialogue driven narration which reveals characters in bits and pieces. I felt bad for young Jode, struggling to cope with the reality of the demons he unleashes and denying that something so horrible could actually exist. It reminds me of myself...

In a way, the wild concept of the fireberries is a nerve-wracking metaphor for the depths of turmoil and rottenness inside ourselves that we all have to deal with at some point. Some people choose to embrace it and dive deeper into the treacheries of their dark side, like Milos, using magic against magic when the whole point of his career was to eliminate magic. Others wrestle with honor and morality and consequences, striving for what they think should be the right thing, only to wonder if it was worth bothering to stand up for it at all.

You've certainly given me something to think about... It reminds me of how I felt when I finished reading the original Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde story by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
208
208
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Tim!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review Button for my daily review.

Another beautiful poem, this one showcasing a special relationship in your life. I really appreciate your charming ways with words. This poem is nice because it almost feels like a spiritual meaning, as if you're speaking about your relationship with God and how He rescued you from your past.

I see the genres are Romance and Relationship,so I assume you're speaking either as a narrator or about your own personal significant other. Either way, the lofty heights of your appreciation for them and the way they came to your side and never left is well expressed.

We see how you view the loving relationship as a metaphor and example of the enduring love of a Higher Power. This depth of emotion is touching and heartwarming.

As usual, I don't have anything to suggest here. Your verses flow conversationally, and the lack of rhyme aids the reading and avoids a sense of "Hallmark Valentine's day card" triteness.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
209
209
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I’ve discovered this essay by using the Random Read and Review button.

The first things I would bring to your attention are formatting issues. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font for an open and engaging reading experience across devices, and this item comes across as dense and difficult to read even though it is fairly brief and well written. Also, on this site it’s nicer to have more paragraph breaks; I see you have a mere three paragraphs here, and it creates a blocky appearance which adds to the feeling of “is this worth reading?”

But perhaps you have only posted this as some sort of college writing assignment, judging by the header you’ve included. I would point out that the title of the item seems to imply a much longer and more in-depth study than what we have here. Perhaps a word count in the subtitle would be a good idea to help us know what we’re getting into.

As for the statements themselves, I find them to be fairly accurate, describing the basics of the Judeo-Christian faith and launching into a discussion of the opening lines of Genesis and how they relate to the overarching theme of Scripture. As one who has spent many years studying the three major monotheistic religions, I have come to the unsatisfactory feeling that none of them have it exactly right, but perhaps the Christian worldview is the most well-rounded and thoughtful in the concept of human rights and freedoms and the equality and dignity of all people.

I respect your studies and applaud your efforts. This was an interesting read. I don’t often come across nonfiction items here.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
210
210
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Tim!

Always a joy to find one of your poems on the Random Read and Review button.

This one is somewhat frivolous: lighthearted yet realistic, observing life's difficulties yet with a buoyant optimism as it sees summer approaching.

I'm not too much of a summer person myself; having lived in a warm state now for about five years or so, I'm sick of heat and humidity and would desperately like to see a change of seasons. Or so I would think... One has a tendency to romanticize whatever one is not currently experiencing, you know? If I went up north again and experienced a bitterly cold day with snow I probably wouldn't like it as much as I thought I would *Laugh*

As usual, I have nothing to suggest here with your poetry. It's well written, charming, with rhyme and meter and playful care, expressing a certain joy in life and an appreciation for all it has to offer, both tough days and fun times.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
211
211
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings, sir. I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

An interesting interview, certainly, though I disagree with you on your worldview assumptions. You've posted this perhaps as a bit of self advertising, showing us yourself as you would like to be known and revealing some of your preferences and habits.

As an author, I find myself inspired by experience; sometimes I see something happen and it bugs me until I build a story around it. I enjoy crafting shorter works, and even Drabbles (100 words stories) are a fun challenge. But sometimes you need all the words you can get to tell it right.

Your formatting is excellent, and you've chosen three relevant genres. As a highly personal interview with your own thoughts and opinions and feelings, I have nothing to suggest here for improvement.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
212
212
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

What an amusing and delightful way to honor your favorite coffee, by writing a poem within a story. I stand amused at everyone’s fascination with the brown stuff, being one who avoids caffeine and alcohol myself. I read your rollicking chain of words with a smile as I pictured this over the top cup of Joe your character so appreciates. I love the large font you’ve chosen. Formatting is great, and you’ve selected all three genres.

I don’t have any suggestions here; you’ve done well in expressing your unique perspective and writing style.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
213
213
Review of The Dormouse Poem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I stumbled across this using the Random Read and Review button. I’m glad to find something from your past participation in the Alice in Wonderland activity, and I see you struggled with the acrostic poem to some extent (such as to tell us never to request such a feat from your pen again *Laugh*)
I must say, however, that you did an excellent job here of creating something with a rollicking meter and a jolly good theme, suitable for the required words it is built out of and of course great for the nonsensical Alice activity. You carry us along convincingly, sharing thoughts about the writing abilities of rodents and accidentally of cows as well… You even chose a perfectly adorable cover image. Who could resist paying attention to the wise words of such an endearing rodent?

It’s always fun to see what earlier prompts required. I have nothing to suggest here, of course; just stopping by to let you know I enjoyed reading it and applaud your efforts.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
214
214
Review of The Renfaire  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

What an interesting and engaging vignette. I call it that because there isn’t any particular plot or development to speak of as we might expect in a full length story. It captures a moment with the clarity of a photo and shares the excitement of what’s taking place with us in vivid and appealing terms.

I have to admit I was truly terrified reading about the jester handstanding on a ball while holding a torch! It’s the kind of thing that could so easily turn horrifying, and I’ve read a few unhappy stories here about fire and clowns. I was relieved to watch the jester make their safe final flip, and felt like clapping and cheering along with everyone else. This level of engagement is a great sign for your writing skills, though I’m an easily impressed softie generally.

Ali seems like a quiet and sympathetic character who would make an interesting lead in a story of more depth. I noticed you used the word “something” twice in the fourth paragraph. I find it nifty you’ve chosen the gender neutral for the jester, leaving us to decide or not. Also, Size 4 Verdana font is preferred around here for a more open and easier reading experience. You can adjust the formatting by selecting your text and clicking on the various buttons lining the top of the text entry box.

A word count is highly recommended, so we know what we’re getting into and also to allow you to participate in contests around the site. I would also recommend adding a third relevant genre to the item to help it qualify for as many Quill Award nominations as possible (any questions about our annual Quill Awards, check out the portfolio of Lilli ☕ Author Icon!) You could choose “Drama,” “Community,” or even “Thriller/Suspense.”

Aside from these minor things, I found this to be quite an enjoyable little flash fiction.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
215
215
Review of Pumpkin Pie  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Carly!

I found this via the Random Read and Review button.

Now I'm hungry for some homemade pumpkin pie *Hungry* This is an appetizing poem, describing your favorite part of Thanksgiving as it was in old days when things were slower and homier.

I love the phrase "piece de resistance;" my Mom and I were just discussing the origins of it the other day. I've hardly seen it used in my life, though it's fairly common.

Perhaps the naming of some spices which go into the classic pumpkin pie would add a nice touch: cinnamon, cloves, ginger, cardamom, etc. My mom insists on "hearty" pumpkin pie with all the aromatic spices, and the market researchers used to remind us "now remember, pumpkin spice flavor doesn't mean it actually has pumpkin in it!" Nowadays, I don't know how many pumpkin spice items really do have pumpkin in them... Maybe some do. Whatever!

An enjoyable poem, perfect for the time of year.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
216
216
Review of The Shepard  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I love the sad scene you’ve painted here, of a man seeking peace in the cool, embracing rain. His moment of bliss and escape from the painful futility of his life is shattered by the harsh realization that what he did to make himself feel better has only made his situation worse and potentially brought harm to others in his care.

This theme strikes home for me on a deep level, as it seems like everything I take pleasure in doing is only an illusory escape from reality. The more I try to run from the difficulties of my life, the more they bounce back at me more complicated than ever. The consequences of running away only add up over time.

The scenic imagery is beautiful, showing us the sweeping, misty meadows where the sheep roam with picturesque words. The free verse is perfectly balanced, providing an easy, conversational medium to move the narrative forward.

The first thing I would suggest to correct is the word "shepherd," which has been misspelled by more people than I care to remember over the years. When I see the dog breed spelled as "German Shepard" I cringe mightily. Aside from that, I highly recommend using Size 4 Verdana font for an open and engaging reading experience. You can click on the question mark in the toolbar over the text entry box for help with Writing.com markup language.

I really enjoyed this poem.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
217
217
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Joseph!

Such a heartwarming story we have here in your poem, of animals working together to help each other. I’ve heard of and seen such things on social media, and it’s always so touching to see how well the different animal species get along.

Your rhymes are present but not overwhelming, as we see them give way a couple times to the natural flow of words. This gives the poem a home-y and conversational tone as we see the chicken and the dog in their loving farm environment, and avoids being too trite or stiff or predictable. The verses are well balanced and easy to read. Formatting is excellent, with a large clear font and three genres chosen.

Possible typos include:
* In lines 4 and 15 you have used the wrong form of the word “there.”
* perhaps the “dialogue” between the dog and chicken should be set in quotes or italics.
* In line 13 the semicolon is awkward and could perhaps be replaced with a comma
* In line 14 the word “tourist” should be plural
* and in the final line, perhaps again the dialogue should be set in quotes.

Aside from these minor details, I see nothing here to modify.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
218
218
Review of Into the Wind  Open in new Window.
for entry "A Demon's Prayer" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings, Lizzie, and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a poem which is not the expected trite autumnal stuff which most might make of such a prompt. I step back and admire how you’ve crafted the sense of unease and eeriness as the pumpkin speaks in the voice of a demon luring away young souls to a Halloween doom. We stop and ponder the meaning behind celebrating death, wondering what darker elements lie behind the frivolity of running around in costumes gathering candy. Every year it seems Halloween gets more and more elaborate and commercialized, until these days it’s become an equal to Christmas in the amount of space it consumes in stores and culturally, though it’s the exact opposite in theme and worldview. Have you seen the plastic teddy bear skeletons? I laughed when I first saw spider skeletons (consider that for a minute now…) about six years ago; they’ve been largely outdone by aliens and other impossible creatures. Perhaps pumpkin skeletons would be cool.

I have nothing to suggest here; your lines measure nicely, and the free verse flows well. I’m preparing my own “rebel pumpkin poem” for this challenge, and though mine won’t be anything like yours, I’m happy to see I’m not the only one taking a more imaginative perspective.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
219
219
Review of The Son of Man  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Kiya!

Ah, a “slice of life,” “kitchen sink drama” type of story, full of the dreary reality of the life of an Everyman character. You paint your setting well, and have captured the essence of the painting, adding the apple on the desk in a surrealist way, as if hinting at more which we cannot quite see. There’s a rise and fall of timeline, from the dissatisfaction of the current situation, through the tension of bringing him to the office, and finally the all-too-familiar letdown of the firing.

As one who didn’t get too many stories posted for GoT, I admire the way you spun out so much content that is of excellent quality from what I’ve seen. I have little to suggest here except perhaps if you care to draw it out somehow. As a vignette of the workaday life, it’s great, full of atmosphere and detail.

If you wanted to go further, you could develop your main character into a more rounded and engaging person. Give him a secret, a goal, a dream; something that we can root for. Also ensure that he learns something about himself or the world around him by the time the story is finished, which will be built into the overarching theme or worldview of the story. A development arc requires conflicts both internal and external, and this is already hinted at by his dissatisfaction with his life as it is. Does he really love his wife? Is he tired, depressed, disinterested? Give him something to spring him into action and set the story moving, something to sweep us up and make us want to see what happens next.

Ok, that’s all rather trite. I have a tendency to take people’s works at face value, which makes it hard to say anything other than “hey, great story!” These are just some humble suggestions from what I’ve learned from others around here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
220
220
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings,

A moody and fascinating poem we have here, packed with creative metaphors and dreariness expressing the deep frustration that comes with insomnia. I love music, and I have a tendency to look at poetry through the lens of songwriting and lyrics. This feels like a song which would have a super spooky music video. Your rhymes carry it along well without being trite, and the conversational meter is free flowing, keeping us engaged with a balance of long and short lines.

The theme is darkly exaggerated, and we feel the pressing tension building up until the reference to Lazarus and the final declaration of nonexistence. Which makes one think, did Lazarus really appreciate being resurrected back to this dreary life of drudgery and sickness and hunger, knowing he’d die again anyway? Now there’s a thought to consider while lying awake at night.

The opening draws us in quickly and memorably, and overall this is an excellent poem. I don’t have anything to suggest for changes; I’m usually quite easygoing and laidback with reviewing poetry. I like to go by instinct rather than fussing over syllables or metric structure.

I would recommend you add a line count so you can qualify for entry into "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. or "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.… I think it’s well worth a try at either of those.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
221
221
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

What an interesting and enlightening personal account, comparing the darkness within yourself to the darkness out in the vast universe. We see the lesson learned here of taking solace in the balance of wisdom one can find in this dualistic darkness.

I love this because I am a very dualistic person in many ways; almost everything about me and my life is composed of impossible opposites which I spend my days reconciling somehow. The theme of drawing good from the inner and the outer and gaining strength from the dark is powerful and well put.

Your words read like a brief prose poem, sharing a meaningful experience with us in a direct and simple and heartfelt way. I don't have anything to suggest here except to add two more relevant genres such as "Dark," "Philosophy" "Experience" or "Psychology." This would help people find it when browsing and also help with Quill Award nominations.

I think this would look great if you wrote it out by hand in a nice script (or even just printed it up nicely on a Doc or an image - I love digital font art...) And hung it on your wall or posted it on a noteboard as a daily reminder.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
222
222
Review of Alone  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Cheshire!

A sad narrative poem creating a character who has abandoned humanity in an effort to protect themselves from the pain and sorrow we all must suffer. This hurts because it feels like me in a way... I withdraw myself from people, I avoid connecting too deeply, and I waver between feeling numb and feeling far too much.

You set up the situation gradually, beginning with little things which seem at first almost like a good idea, implying the person is choosing to avoid watching the news and getting all upset over what they cannot change.

It quickly begins to imply a deeper and more disturbing detachment from reality, one which reminds me of something I looked into... *Googles quickly*... "Sovereign Citizens," they're called... It's probably irrelevant here. Anyway, the declarations of disregard for others and the sacrifices that have gone before are getting alarming.

By the end, the facade slips, and we see the flashes of suppressed pain as the person begins to admit how much they need help as they insist more strongly and specifically that they don't. The concluding words bring it all home: they are lonely, and no amount of barricading themselves and insisting they don't need anyone else will soothe their emptiness.

This is haunting, with repetition and structure which carries the theme well without the triteness of rhyme. I would recommend adding a third genre, as I see you have duplicates. "Dark" or "Psychological" would be appropriate here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
223
223
Review of Open  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

A raw and metaphoric poem about your experience of open heart surgery. It translates into other experiences and feelings, as many people use this type of analogy to speak about vulnerability and hardship.

The words balance well, with an almost rap-like cadence. I especially like the way you've described the surgical instruments that look so deadly, lad out on the table. I hope you are recovering well.

This almost feels like you had an out of body experience, implying perhaps that you saw parts of the process we don't usually see.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
224
224
Review of Shadow and Stone  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Wow, fantastic work here! I was at the edge of my seat as Atropa dealt with the shadow trying to take away Edgar’s life. The battle was thrilling, and your myriad of rich details encompassed me like the witch’s spells. You pushed your character to her limit, and that’s the best way to make us root for her. I’ve read fantasies where the witch has it “too easy;” even the nemesis seemed wimpy. This was definitely not the case here. You included lots of sensory details and kept us firmly within Atropa’s head the whole time, using all the recommended techniques of good story writing. With a few words, you’ve painted the minor and supporting characters well, with an affection for nature evident. This was an enjoyable read.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to provide a more open and engaging reading experience. If you need help with the in-house mark-up language, you can read "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. and https://www.writing.com/main/tools/action/writingm... for help. I would also recommend a word count at the beginning of the item so we know what we’re getting into.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
225
225
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Angelica!

Well… I don’t know what to say here. I found this from the Random Read and Review button, and being a silly cheapskate I don’t want to let the GPs go *Rolling*

A useful list, definitely, though I see it hasn’t been active in over five years. I’ve noticed the “Ebil” Merit Badges appear in the Scroll Games, and I’ve often wondered what the significance is. Is it a play on the word “evil?” Or is it a joke of some kind? Perhaps I’ll browse this folder in your port and get some scoop on the project.

Perhaps you should make this item private so you don’t get bothersome people like me bumbling in on it. Or, since it seems to have served its purpose, you could toss it in the Recycle Bin. Or if you’re feeling up to it, you could reopen the attached raffle and scatter these MBs abroad once more for those of us who weren’t here in those days *Wink*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
775 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 31 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9