\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: ON
1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,262 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
Least Favorite Item Types
AI Generated Content of Any Kind.
I will not review...
NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
Review of Grayscale  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

A fine story of humanity surviving somehow after the great disaster. I love how you took the prompt request and spun it into something striking and unique, without sounding too stilted.

You've painted the charred, lifeless landscape for us in vivid dullness - is that possible? - and left out most of the details of whatever, focusing on the human interaction and the sense of hope coming in at last.

Why does everyone assume that when you're all alone, you're silent? I always talk to myself, long rambling discussions about anything and everything. I usually whisper, though, and I get super nervous and choked up around people as it is, so if I hadn't raised my voice in a while it would probably get quite rusty...

This is a great little story, and I really enjoyed it. I can't think of anything to suggest except maybe a sequel... I'm curious if they can survive and if there's anything else alive out there besides a daisy *Radioactive* *Flowery*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
27
27
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Kate, and welcome to writing.com *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Sorry I didn’t review your first poem sooner. I usually just do one review a day, and there are so many different things I find interesting. Also, poetry is kind of hard for me to review, because I don’t like “picking it apart” and imposing ideas on someone’s heart and soul that they’ve poured into their work. So, I never know quite what to say *Pthb*

First off, congrats on joining! I see you have a year’s upgraded membership. That will allow you to have a bunch of stuff in your portfolio, but you’ll have to either work really hard around here to earn GPs to keep it up, or just pay cash, or depend on the generosity of others. Or you can maintain fewer than ten port items and leave it at a free membership. Your choice *Smile*

I love the simple brevity of this poem, the symmetry, the repetition, the flow. I might think it’s a little too brief… is there a way you would like to add more descriptive elements? Perhaps the blue gleam of sky on water shines in your eyes? Or maybe the faint chirping of birds heralds the coming of summer? Or rather, seeing the “majestic autumn tones,” perhaps there’s a squirrel gathering acorns before the first frost? Is any of this necessary, or is it my own flowery thoughts? Just ignore me *Laugh*

You should use Size 4 Verdana font; your friend Allan Charles 🐾 Sick 🤒 Author Icon will tell you that’s my favorite *BigSmile* I picked it up from my friend Jack of Diamonds Author Icon - you might want to check out his port if you like thrills, chills, and hoopla. Anyway, that’s the best font for clarity and ease of sight across devices. It’ll make your poem stand out against our buzzing sidebars and upper tabs.

Perhaps also you should tell us a little something about yourself in your bio block: young, old, writing experience, tastes, preferences, greetings, etc. It makes you a little more human for us.

Aside from that, I really enjoyed reading this and I’m glad you’re here!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
28
28
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Vesper Amara!

I noticed this on the “currently online” sidebar and thought it looked interesting.

First off, I love the balanced and thoughtful way you’ve handled the subject here. I was afraid it would be one of those dreary poems about abuse and heartbreak, but instead you’ve crafted a beautiful and mature consideration of what could have been a very awkward and unhappy soap opera situation.

The heroine is mature enough to recognize that the path she wants may not be the best way for the one she loves, especially considering his prior commitments to others. It is not a matter of chasing the flame, but of maintaining stability for the others involved for as long as is required. Her strength of character in letting go gracefully reminds me of strong women I know of personally, which adds realism to the portrayal.

I like the balance of your lines and verses, opening each verse with a short opener and continuing with longer thoughts. It’s an easy and engaging read, except I do always recommend Size 4 Verdana font to keep it accessible to everyone.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
29
29
Review of The Moment  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Mouser!

I found this with the Random Read and Review button.

What a cute little love poem. It reminds me of Ed Sheeran or Andy Grammar and their spunky puppy love ditties.

You've balanced it nicely on the page, and seem to have used a good font size on mobile (I almost always use Size 4 Verdana.)

It's a bit simplistic, but that's the charm of it, settling into cozy, relatable cliches and name dropping familiar old creators (though I've never heard of Larry Niven...)

Not sure I have anything worthwhile to suggest here, except it would be a nice thing to write out in fancy font (either by hand or with a word or image processor) and give as a gift to the loved one you're referring to.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
30
30
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I presume you are Japanese and writing primarily in your native language with the help of translation services. It’s a bit confusing to read, as the culture of Japan is so different, with the terms and concepts, but I slowed down and generally found it understandable. You seem to be telling the story of someone’s life, a person with a bustling, active family of little siblings and elders in modern Japan.

One of the issues with this item is presentation. You have all the text piled into big blocks, separated only by a space at each vignette. English language writing requires paragraph breaks at each line of dialogue and each shift of action. This creates a more open and engaging reading experience. Also, you used the default font and formatting. The row of boxes on top of the text entry area is your key to adjusting the size and style of font. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana for the best results. And if there will be multiple vignettes in each item, you should separate them with centered asterisks, three will do…
***


Also, your writing style is perhaps a bit unfocused. I don’t know if it’s because I’m only reading random chapters, but there’s a lack of any overarching narrative, theme, or plot. These elements are what keep people engaged in stories. Give your characters goals, stakes and obstacles, use tension, set up situations, even simple ones, that test their resolve and develop their traits, etc. As it stands, it’s a random gathering of moments and thoughts and situations that doesn’t seem to go anywhere. It’s a fun glimpse into modern Japanese lifestyle and activities, but it doesn’t draw readers in with emotional impact and the promise of a deep and exciting story of character development, conflict and personal relationships.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
31
31
for entry "Fly - Week 40" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I’m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Now that I see your six lines and I’ve reread the rules, I see two stanzas are not required after all… it wouldn’t matter to me, but I already “advised” someone else to add another stanza to qualify for the form requirement and the ppc5 rules as well… *Pthb* Whatever!

Anyway, this is such a pretty, lightweight, floating sort of poem. When I first saw the wrapped word rule, I thought it looked so infantile. After seeing what everyone’s done with them and using it myself, I’ve come to appreciate the nuances of using a word that can mean a few different things, and the flow is pleasing. You’ve crafted a charming wake up call… ooh, I’m remembering the old song “Beautiful Dreamer” now *InLove2* Say, maybe someday I’ll blog about that song. I have like ten different versions of it stashed on my old phone I use as an iPod.

Yep, your poem is a lovely little creation! *FlowerY* *Moon* *Flowerw* *Sun* *Clouds* *HeartP*

Oh, maybe toss the form details into a dropnote for tidiness *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
32
32
Review of A day to remember  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

This is a nice, relaxing take, where not much actually happens and more is given to emotions, scenic descriptions and sensory details than to plot or character development. That's not necessarily a bad thing, as nowadays there seems to be a trend going around of writing "relaxing" stories designed more to give us "the feels" over a cup of tea than to do anything particularly literary.

I enjoyed the casual glimpse into Aussie life, from the google-able word "spruiking" to the wattle bird *Laugh*

What seemed a bit awkward was the flashing back from the opening scene in the evening, jumping away to earlier in the day with some conversations taking place there, and then jumping back into the quiet sunset stroll. It didn't fit well into a story of such brevity and simplicity.

Perhaps you can start with the rush of the crowds and the chat with friends, and then add a scene divider to send us off on a peaceful note as they stroll the now-empty park. A strictly linear timeframe would be easier to pick up on.

Otherwise, it's all good, a pleasant vignette of city life.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
33
33
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "May 14, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Smile*

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

The first thing I should say before I forget, you need two six-line verses to qualify both for the poetic form itself and for Promptly Poetry. This is great, just add another set in the same mood *Wink*

You've utilized the form perfectly, creating a flowing, naturally cyclical feel without being stiff or peculiar about the repeating words. I always enjoy peeking into your naturalist perspective of life; it's so different from the usual I'm familiar with.

Perhaps you should indent the fifth line... No, I don't think that would make sense. Capitalize the first letter? Because for a moment I thought it wrapped around the mobile screen and didn't create a full six lines. It would probably be apparent on the desktop, however, and is a minor thing.

An interesting read; I enjoyed it. Don't forget to add another verse *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
34
34
Review of Birchbark  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Oh my goodness, indeed! This is such a confusing structure despite seeming rather simple. The way your lines wrap around the page is impossible for me to wrap my head around... I refuse to comment on whether you've nailed the structural requirements or not *Laugh*

I love the unique natural theme you chose here, contemplating the birch bark and going deeper to observe an analogy with our lives as we shed our skins and develop into our deeper personalities. It's thoughtfully done, and the picturesque details outweigh the rules of form and structure.

I might suggest hiding the details in a dropnote, to keep a tidier appearance.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
35
35
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

Well, this is a fun read. I love the rhythm and rhyme, the simple ABAB scheme, and how the story flows along in an old-fashioned way, like Nathaniel Hawthorne or Longfellow.

At first I was going to object to the "happy" ending and suggest there should be a moralizing twist, but that was partly based on the mistaken assumption that the old witch stole someone else's youthful body. But when I looked again I saw she was able to retrieve her own younger self and become renewed, which is what pretty much everyone on the planet would like to do *Laugh*

So, as a poem, it's great, capturing some of that witchy vibe without her causing harm to anyone. I enjoyed reading it, and am glad I took a moment to slow down and read it again.

Now I'm left wondering what happens next... Will she have to keep running that spell every few decades? Or is it eternal as the title implies? There's usually some catch to magic, which is what fantasy yarns are woven of.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
36
36
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review. Welcome to writing.com *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

First off, I would like to congratulate you on arriving here and posting a little about yourself in your bio, along with a selection of your work. It’s always great to see fresh faces here, and you have a creative spirit that shines bright.

I can think of a few titles you might consider, but I’ll leave that up to your imagination and discretion. The title you have now makes a pretty good hook.

Formatting around here can be adjusted using the row of tiles above the text entry box. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font for the easiest and most engaging reading experience across devices. Any help you need can be found by clicking on the ? Between the script M and the smiley face. Also, "Writing.Com 101" Open in new Window. is quite useful.

You don’t really have to number your verses. You’re not writing the Bible *BigSmile* “The End” is also not usually required for publication these days. And the notes at top can be brought to the bottom and placed inside a dropnote ▼

Now for your content. I love this! There is nothing “beginner” about it. You offer words of encouragement… ooh, let me say this before I forget. At the eighth line, you have a hyphen connecting two words where a comma or an emdash would do. The emdash can be inserted on WdC by typing {emdash}, like — *Smile*

Your slant rhyme is appealing and refreshing; rather than using trite, predictable rhymes that fill themselves in, you used more natural word choices which still give a rhythmic flow to the piece. It has comfortable, Hallmark simplicity and feels like something that would make a lovely gift if written up in fancy font or handwriting. You could even frame it, or just tack it up on the fridge.

Maintaining a grip on the present moment, without worrying about the future or sighing over the past, is a valuable gift we should all try to cultivate, and you have written a very pleasant reminder to do so.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
37
37
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

What a quietly elegant poem, evoking all of one's cozy preconceived notions in a few simple words: "let's move to France, darling."

You nailed the Dansa format, using a flowing, conversational rhythm which reads well and looks good on the page. I remember my first draft attempt, (which I might post someday) before I had a subject firmly in mind, used short, staccato lines and words which felt "glued together..."

I would suggest placing all the poetic form details into a dropnote at the bottom to keep it tidy. Overall, this is a lovely, picturesque poem and a creative take on the prompt form.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
38
38
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Wren, and thank you for requesting a review.

Well, this has changed a bit since I first noticed it in your port.

You perhaps give it a little too much context, as now I'm reminded of everything I dislike about politics. I came surprisingly close to visiting a Tesla shop and sitting in on a protest myself a few weeks ago; I received the invite from an activist group I'm subscribed to. They promised it would be "nonviolent," but I had my suspicions. Why should we harass innocent people doing their jobs at the dealership, and frighten those trying to make an environmentally sound purchase? Does it really make a dent in Elon Musk's pockets? Sigh... Next thing I knew, my friends were gleefully talking about the snowflakes being abused in jail for burning Teslas, and I just facepalmed like "ok, whatever. Please don't tell me about it." I'm glad I never attended a protest.

Your poem is perhaps more specifically about random acts of vandalism than the much-publicized burning... Either way, I'll try to get past my muddled feelings about the issue and focus on the piece.

The staccato rhythm is memorable, in that you delve into darkness in a politely metaphorical way. Lacking the context of those pesky Teslas, it could be about almost any bad decision and the consequences thereof. This elusiveness of theme is better, in my humble opinion, than throwing the specifics immediately in our faces to dominate our thoughts on what you've made.

In that regard, perhaps removing the socio-political context from the subtitle and top of poem and adding them instead to the bottom in a dropnote ▼

Your formatting is creative, and the structure is well crafted. I guess I don't have all that much to say about it *Pthb* I'm a sensitive soul. This is an impressive piece, though, don't get me wrong *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
39
39
Review of Storms Path  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Apondia!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

This is a great poem, capturing a unique aspect of storms and their aftermath. You bring us through the storm cycle and remind us that all things work out for the best to continue the path of life. The sun rises again, broken branches provide warmth in the winter, and new seedlings replace what was lost.

I especially like the opening lines, bringing us the ominous strum of the deepest guitar string as a comparison to thunder warning of the storm. This was a creative opening metaphor to hook us into the poem.

I noticed you misspelled "scarred" as "scared." Aside from that, I don't see anything to improve upon here. This was an enjoyable read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
40
40
for entry "Pathological" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings, Jeff *Smile*

I'm here for I Write 2025.

I like the psychological dabbling of this poem, peering into the mind of one who is loose with the truth. In a way, I know that mindset... I might even dare to suggest, as authors, we all know how it feels to craft what is not real and present it as though it is. We live in our minds, dreaming of what has not happened. Why write nonfiction when fiction is so much more fun *BigSmile*

This is well crafted, with straight lines and no attempts at fancy indents. It's easy to read and perhaps too easy for me to relate to *Yikes*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
41
41
Review of Work $#@& Harder?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here for I Write 2025, and I see we all hopped on the train at nearly the same time *Laugh* I was waiting for someone to come in after Elycia and Sonali collided...

Anyway... Rebel poetry, huh? A chance to let loose what's really on our minds! I went introspective, as usual when I need darker pieces, but I could just as easily have complained about the "work harder" slogan as you and Viv did. I struggle to find work that accommodates my quirks. For me it's more a matter of adaptation, but there are thousands of people who desperately need help getting decent jobs and are trampled underfoot by the system.

Trump promised to "fix" the economy... He's doing something else to it which I shouldn't say but sounds a bit similar. Rather than bringing back jobs, he's eliminating them, while simultaneously causing the prices of everything to increase and cutting all supports out from under people. Have you heard about all the expectant parents who have been fired from the government? So much for being pro-life. Sigh...

Yeah, I think we can all relate to this. I could go on forever complaining about how he's destroying what took centuries to build and will take untold decades to restore. Right now I think everyone on the planet who isn't either a dictator or utterly brainwashed wants to wring his neck, and I don't care who knows I said it.

Your free verse feels almost like a rap, especially considering how rappers always seem to be furious about something. Perhaps some well placed indents would keep the visual flow interesting. I'm only just beginning to use indents in my poetry; in fact, when I prepare to paste it in here, I have to add > at the spots I want to add {indent} to, otherwise I'll forget. Double >> to indicate double indents, which work perfectly to give a stepped effect. Have fun!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
42
42
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, those midnight mysteries! You've chosen an amusing one for your poem. I like the free verse, conversational style, and the idea of your little doggie hogging the whole bed is one that I'm sure a lot of pet owners can identify with.

The only thing I can suggest is adding a line count and a note as to prompt... Actually, if each of your PPC5 poems is a separate item, you may want to gather them all into a folder to keep them tidy. Perhaps you've already done this. A third genre would be good too, perhaps Comedy or Animal.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
43
43
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You've set up a delightful and amusing take here, woven with old-fashioned narrative style and translated with your own heart and mind. It's funny, but I've noticed myself that some Canadians don't seem to have a good grip on English grammar... Then again, many Americans don't either *Pthb*

As a previously published story and an experienced author, I don't think you need a whole lot of "advice" about "improvement." Your writing style is well developed, and you translated the work from the original Russian without error, giving us something fun to read with a flavoring of cultural subtext and harmless teasing of those strange pale people...

Perhaps a word count in the subtitle or the opening would be helpful, as many of us here prefer stories as brief as possible, or at least like to know how much time to allow for reading. Along those lines, your storytelling pace seems a bit plodding, but I won't criticize that.

You may also want to increase font size from the default (I can't tell exactly what modifications you've used because I'm on mobile... You may also have simply uploaded a word doc, which I forget is even a possibility around here...) My personal preference is Size 4 Verdana. You can access the text modification settings in the row of tiles above the entry box. A question mark is available to click on for a helpful manual.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
44
44
Review of Proving Ground  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Wren, and welcome to Writing.com!

I love the brief, lyrical flow of this poem; it comes across as a song, reminding me of... Whatever. I'm a music person and know a couple songwriters' styles quite well. A quick peek at Area 52 in my port might give you a hint... Or just check my bio tab *Pthb*

Anyway, you've captured an enduring theme in a few simple words, reminding us to stop and think about our motivations and our goals, dreams, and what we build our lives around. Sometimes people don’t ever think in a deeper way on things, preferring to live life at the surface level rather than diving into philosophical questions and considering where they stand.

I might suggest using Size 4 Verdana font for your items, to help them stand out on our busy pages here. You can underline and perhaps center the title, or drop it since every item we click on has a prominent title anyway. To modify font size and style and other things, you use the row of tiles over the text entry box. Help with the site’s proprietary markup language can be found by clicking on the ? box between the M and the smiley face.

I would encourage you to check out the several pages around here which offer poetry contests… "The Newbie Poetry Award" Open in new Window., "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" Open in new Window., "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. and "Poetic Traditions Poetry Contest " Open in new Window.. You will have to check the various prompt and deadline requirements, but there are plenty of opportunities available to win awards for your work.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
45
45
Review of the river  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Apondia!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

This was a quaint and interesting poem, incorporating fun old songs which speak of rivers. I couldn't help remembering a few of my own favorite songs about rivers: The River, by Imagine Dragons; The River, by Jordan Feliz; River of Dreams, by Billy Joel; and Ghost, by Ella Henderson (written by my favorite guy Ryan Tedder...)

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font for your work; it's easier on the eyes and makes our items stand out on the page for a more engaging read. I also wonder why "the river" is underlined; most times italics would be fine for emphasis, but that's only if you need to highlight a given phrase for a contest or project.

I really appreciate your theme of observing how rivers inspire us to create songs and enjoy life. This was a fun read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
46
46
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Phyllis!

I'm here for Stephanie's Honey Pit Challenge *Smile* I saw this on your features and thought it looked like a nice positive read.

I love the hymnal quality you've given it. Working within the tight requirements of the form might have been rather awkward, but it feels like a quaint old-fashioned piece one might find in Streams in the Desert.

I can't think of anything to advise you on... Seeing it on mobile, I'm unaware of the font size and style. Size 4 Verdana is my favorite, but these days I just say that because I'm at a loss *Laugh* Oh, perhaps an X-link to a page explaining the Rondeau form would be helpful in case we would like to write our own.

This is a beautiful heartfelt poem sharing your faith.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
47
47
for entry "Which Bunny?" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sonali!

Well, this is amusing and creative! You should try joining the fun at Cubby's Writing 4 Kids contest; you have such a lighthearted and joyful style.

I had fun reading about the wannabe Easter dust bunnies and their "grasping at straws," shall we say *Laugh* It brightened my day to be able to come in after you at I Write.

As for anything substantial to advise you on... I can't think of a thing! Except for one: you left us hanging as to what the prompt actually was over at Jayne's PromptMaster. I'm curious... *Rabbit2*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
48
48
Review of Afoul  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Jeffrey!

I’ve had this lingering in my review drafts for ages now…

Your poetic touch here is brilliant. You’ve captured the vibe of Steinbeck or Remington while making something universal and mythical. The atmosphere is haunting… one thing of beauty takes over the land, subjugating all to the point of no return, yet who can say it’s not good? Then, the twist, the implications of the narrator’s own selling out, and the final drought of unfulfilled desire and withered hopes leaves one questioning, seeking the deeper meaning behind the fable.

You have indented thoughtfully, with the stepped progression building suspense to the single return line to create an engaging look. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana for the best reading experience for all ages, abilities and devices. Have you dropped this off at "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. or "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest" Open in new Window.? It really deserves a ribbon.

I’m pleased to meet you and hope to have a moment to browse your portfolio soon.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
Cute, from Leah's Owl Shop
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
49
49
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Ed!

I bumbled across this in my sidebar some time ago. What a fun and well written story. I was dreading a dark twist or something of the sort… one never knows what to expect, you know? But yours was friendly and safe, and reminded me of the kind of thing I liked reading as a kid, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys and such. The twists and turns were exciting, and it came to an end almost too quickly.

Perhaps a word count in the subtitle would be helpful so we know what we’re getting into. Also, Size 4 Verdana font is always a good idea, unless you want to try Courier bold in a larger size to tap into the spirit of news reporting while maintaining visibility.

You should also choose a third relevant genre for the item, to help more readers find and enjoy it. I would recommend News, Crime/Gangster, or Action/Adventure for this one.

And lastly, when you say “single handily” towards the beginning, the phrase is rather “single-handedly.” Not to be confused with “winning handily” or anything *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
50
50
for entry "Invalid Entry" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, sir!

I’m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Well, this was quaint and amusing, taking the form and giving it an original twist. I like the playful repetition of rhymes... It sounds almost like an old crooner's song at a pub in Vegas *Laugh*

My only suggestion is that according to the form requirements, there needs to be at least one rhyme with "moon." But it's ok to give it your own spin, as it's a rather complicated form to figure out... (Which reminds me I wanted to try Charles's Arabian poem challenge...)

I'm in a hurry today and honestly can't think of anything else to say... This was fun!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*
From Gervic
Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
767 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 31 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2