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151
151
Review of When I Grow Up  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Ang1974, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "When I Grow Up"  by Ang1974

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong story reflecting on the innocence of our childhood, how everything seemed so easy and of course it was all black or white.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: When we were children everything did seem to be so easy, at least for the grown-ups. Then when we become grown-ups everything seems to be so easy for the children yet it's so complicated for us. If only we could go back and do it all over again with the knowledge we have now.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful work.

Ang1974, Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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152
152
Review of Bones  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Cloelia I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Bones"  by Cloelia

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong emotional work questioning one's perspective on reality. This reminds me of works from the old poets.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: For this reader, I see the image of a strong soul thinking then coming up with the realization that most of the things that we are told are not necessarily true.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems at all that I see with the grammar spelling on mechanics of this strong work.

Cloelia, thank you for sharing your story.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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153
153
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi fyn, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Elsewhere, Higher Than the Sky Arc"  by fyn

Clarity:A good title, although I don't get it.

Writing style:Fanfiction drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?No, by listing your work with three genres more readers will be able to assess it.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A good structure and format that is easy for the reader. I like the colored font.


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: I would bet this was hard to write without using a certain letter, I have never tried that but I'm sure it would be very difficult.

I like the familiarity to the Wizard of Oz. Well done this is an entertaining short story.

fyn, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Use an O.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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154
154
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Ibidler I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Willingness to Obey"  by Ibidler

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong writing about faith and obedience. Well said and so true.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: For this reader, I can see the portrait of children in Bible school learning about faith and obedience.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this strong writing.

Ibidler, thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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155
155
Review of FAR FROM HOME  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Dr M C Gupta, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "FAR FROM HOME"  by Dr M C Gupta

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A deep poem from a troubled time in U.S. history. We never did find those WMD's. Well written strong emotional poem, well done.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: For this reader, I see the image for loyal soldiers stationed in a hot desert while their pampered leader enjoys comfort drinking and playing poker.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this poem.

Dr M C GuptaThank you for sharing your story.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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156
156
Review of Tooth Monster  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Odessa Molinari, I came across this tale while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of: "Tooth Monster"  by Odessa Molinari

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A good description about a visit to the dentist.

I wrote a description similar to this once in literature class. I remember writing "while getting a filling you could see smoke coming from your mouth as she drilled."
Seems to be a smart kid in your story.

A nice structured story with good dialogue. Short and straight to the point, that's exactly how today's reader seems to like things.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: For this reader I see the image of a young kid going to the dentist for the first time.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problem at all with the grammar in this well written tale.

Odessa Molinari, thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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157
157
Review of 35. Unraveling  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi aracrae, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"35. Unraveling"  by Aracrae

Clarity:A good title for this tale.

Writing style:Family adventure drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Good job.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog is specic to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---After Luca leaves, Nail sucks in a breath against the torrent of emotions inside him.
Power…loyalty…manipulation...fear…---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written entertaining adventure story.

Good descriptions, strong characters sharing dialog that is specific to each. This helps to keep the reader's attention.

Aracrae, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: None.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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158
158
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Carly, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Encounter with Greatness"  by Carly

Clarity: A good title that describes the content of this story well.

Writing style:Animal folktale drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A nice structure for this story that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog does seem specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---"If only I had my gun," he told my cousins in Thessalon the following week.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A well written story, short and to the point just like today's reader likes things. Is this really a true story? :) Just kidding, of course it is.

Carly, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:None.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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159
159
Review of Love's Touch  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)

Hi Carol St.Ann, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Love's Touch"  by Carol St.Ann

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong beautiful poem with a nice rhyming pattern that contributes to this poems lovely flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:For this reader, I see two souls that are in love traveling through time on life's pathway.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:No problems at all that I can see with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful work.

Carol St.Ann, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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160
160
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Princess Megan Rose, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Back To The Past Jane Austen Sixty Eight"  by Princess Megan Rose 22 Years

Clarity:A good title for this Jane Austin Tale.

Writing style:Fanfiction romance drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes of coarse.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nicely structured story that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem specific to it's speaker.

My favorite line:---"Whoops-a-daisy!" Megan laughed.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A delightful refreshing story-line. Well told with good descriptions that make it easy for the reader to get into this story.

Strong characters that are well defined with individual dialogs. This helps make them easy to relate to.

Princess Megan Rose 22 Years, thank you for sharing this entertaining story, it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:None

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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161
161
Review of Things Change  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jacky, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Things Change"  by Jacky

Clarity: A nice title for this happy childrens tale.

Writing style: Family children drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only 2 listed, listing your story with three genres will make it available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A nice structure that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? he dialog is definitely specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:--- “Shevy!!” Tina said, excited! ---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A nicely written delightful children's story.

I like that Tina liked chevys, that shows that she has good taste.

Great descriptions that help the reader to better get into the story.

Jacky, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: None.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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162
162
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Tim Chiu, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Obama, That's Ridiculous!"  by Tim Chiu

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Well laid out poem that is so true. A nice rhyming scheme that helps add to the great flow that this poem carries.

Politics is such a touchy subject as well as most people have their minds made-up and there's no changing it. So you said it I can certainly agree with everything you said. The Obama years about put me in the poor house. Everyone complained about Trump but I'll tell you what, business was good and everybody had plenty to talk about.


Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a country standing still with absolutely no change for 8 long years.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I see with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this great poem.

Tim Chiu, thank you for sharing this refreshingly true poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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163
163
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lover Of All Giantesses, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Perona And The Tiny Ship"  by Lover Of All Giantesses

Clarity:A good title for this tale.

Writing style:Fantasy folktale drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure for this tale.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog seems specific to it's speaker.


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written adventure mythological tale.
Great descriptions as well as narration that keeps the readers attention at the beginning of this tale.

A good job of world building.
Perona is a bit self centered. The story seems to get repetitive and long winded, loosing the readers attention.

Lover Of All Giantesses, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider a good edit to make the story shorter. Todays reader seems to prefer shorter stories than in the past.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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164
164
Review of Nan  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Luc E Fer, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Nan"  by Luc E Fer

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful tribute poem with a nice rhyming pattern that gives this work a unique flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a soul journeying down life's pathway. At one point in morning for a lost loved one. Another point reunited with the same loved one.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this lovely poem.

Luc E Fer, thank you for sharing your work.

Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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165
165
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Tinker, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "In the Night, Darkness"  by Tinker

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong poem with a nice rhyming theme that adds to the realistic flow.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see a beautiful efficient village full of friends. Then with a twist of time it's revealed to all be a dream.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problem at all that I can see with the spelling, mechanics or grammar .

Tinker, thank you for sharing your beautiful poem. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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166
166
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi ULVdrgn1 , I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Runt Lioness Angel"  by ULVdrgn1

Clarity:A good title that describes the content of this work well.

Writing style:Animal fantasy drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers, browsers or potential readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? The structure appears crowded and not inviting to a reader. Consider breaking down into shorter paragraphs with more line spacing and maybe larger font for those of us with weak eyes.


My favorite line:--- One should never underestimate, a runt’s true worth, or anyone in general, and should be given a chance to prove themself as well.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written entertaining tale emphasizing the importance of individuals with no respect to their size.

I have seen many times with puppies the runt turning out to be the most desirable of the litter.

ULVdrgn1, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.


WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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167
167
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Zeke, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Run for the Roses (Chapter 1 and 2)"  by Zeke

Clarity:A good title. Are you still deciding on a title for each chapter?

Writing style:Adventure family drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A nice structure and format that is easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? Indeed the dialogue does seem specific to its speaker.

My favorite line:---She grins. “Oops! Did I just roll my eyes out loud?”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Awesome! Well written folktale that holds the readers attention while leaving him wanting to turn the page for more.

Well described scenes as well as characters. I really like the auction. A good touch with Lauren's contract in crayon. This keeps the story real while staying entertaining.

Chapter one seems much longer than chapter two. Consider breaking chapter one down into at least 2 chapters perhaps starting one around the auction. Meeting John Henry could probably be a chapter to itself.

Zeke, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it. I look forward to seeing more.

Suggestions: Finish the book.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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168
168
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Ophelia C Willow, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Reflecting childhood"  by Ophelia C Willow

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong free verse style poem. Well written with emotions screaming out. It is funny how through life at different stages we find ourselves focused on past events.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a family walking down life's pathway with their paths going farther apart at times then coming back together at other times.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I see with the grammar spelling or mechanics.

Ophelia C Willow, thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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169
169
Review of Strange Journeys  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Fyn, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Strange Journeys"  by fyn

Clarity:A nice title for this tale.

Writing style:Biographical nature drama.

Are all 3 genres listed?Only 2, by listing 3 genres your work will be available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is good and easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog is specific to its reader.

My favorite line:---“He tolerates almost everyone unless they are prone to pulling his tail, but he seems to really like you.”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written tale with great descriptions. It is easy for the reader to see the scenes.

The descriptions sound like the mountains in the area where I live.

A nice twist at the end that the story slowly prepared the reader for.

Fyn, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:None

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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170
170
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Chaotic Evil, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"I'm researching libel"  by Chaotic Evil


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Well told. I get the feeling you are a tell it like it is kind of person. It is good that your comfortable enough to rant without editing. A lot of us get so carried away with the discipline of the writing as well as the appearance, structure and format that the end results seems to take our personality away from the work. It is a double edged sword.

It would be nice to be that comfortable writing although like you said I'm not sure that some of my work would even be legible.
Sometimes I edit my work till there's nothing left.

Chaotic Evil, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it. I like your handle.

Suggestions: Consider slowing it down and trying a short edit to the emphasize the stronger points of your writing.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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171
171
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jaya, I came across this story while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Jane Austen…musically yours"  by Jaya

Clarity:A nice title that describes the content well.

Writing style:Biographical opinion.

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes, this makes your work available to more readers.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure is somewhat easy for the reader.



My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A well written, well researched informative article. A good job with the references to history.

I like the quote from her nieces letter. This helps to keep the article realistic while emphasizing the timeline.



Jaya, thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider line-spacing with larger font and breaking down the longer paragraphs. This will help the article look less intimidating to would be readers.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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172
172
Review of Sleight of Hand.  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi Wandering Thoughts I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: Sleight of Hand by Wandering Thoughts


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: a well written romance lost love type poem. A good flow to this emotional poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of lost lovers on life's time line with their paths drifting apart at times then coming closer together at other time.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful poem.

Thank you for sharing your story.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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173
173
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

My impression of this newsletter:"HISTORY: DWG Badge Dream, We Dream Big!" 
By dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG


Clarity:A nice title that is clear while describing the content well.

Genres:3 listed as should be.

Structure, is it easy for the reader?:A good structure that is easy for the reader.

Artistic imagery:Nice use of colored font.

My two cents:A good informative newsletter that shows a bit of history. Well worded easy to understand. A good newsletter.

I have read in several places that gift points can be used to renew your membership. I see no place for that payment method when I research it. Can you use gift points to renew membership and if so where is the path?? I have yet to get an answer to this question. I would really like to know.


dogpack:saving 4 premium: DWG, thanks for sharing this newsletter.

WRITE ON! THANKS --JOSEPH--Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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174
174
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Hi PiriPica, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Sun's Soldiers"  by PiriPica

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful and entertaining battle plan. Well worded and structured to add to the tone which gives this poem a nice consistent flow. A great idea for this military poem.

Artistic images: For this reader, I see the image of a massive army setting up while preparing for battle.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this poem.

PiriPica, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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175
175
Review of Up For Days  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi HDC, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Up For Days"  by HDC

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:An entertaining rant style free verse poem. I like this work.
It does sound to me like you might have been up for days. I tend to ramble similar to that when I've not had much sleep.
Everyone is wired different. I have always had a bit of a problem with sleep, then got use to getting by on very little.
Through life I found that to be some of my favorite time, when everyone else is asleep I have my privacy. That has always been one of my favorite writing times probably because of no interruptions. It usually catches up with me after about four days then I crash hard for a day or two. There have been many like us through history. Thomas Edison and Benjamin Franklin are a couple of them.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a night owl perched in a tree keeping a close eye on all that is going on all around.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can see with the writing or mechanics.

HDC, Thank you for sharing your strong story that has started me to rambling. :)
Write On!

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