Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: Why can't a gold-fish be forgettable? I have never heard that one before.
A well written deep and inspirational poem. Structured in a original unique form. This poem carries a nice consistent flow. 'But it still, hurts when you stop flying.'
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an ancient Greek philosopher trying hard to decipher some of life's deepest puzzles.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this strong deep poem.
Xakkenna Lang thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A deep free verse style romance poem. The emotions of the author can be felt from this poem.
Seems to be in more of a first draft structure.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a soul having problems getting over a past relationship. So they try to put their emotions on paper to make it easier to move on and search for that elusive soul mate.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: The mechanics or form could be edited to be a more uniform style.
losing cat thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi Hannahnunchun I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Clarity:Seems to be a good title, however it could describe the contents of the story better.
Writing style:War, adventure drama.
Are all 3 genres listed?Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good format, the structure is good however a bit more line-spacing or blank lines breaking up the longer paragraphs could help the last half of this tale.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes the dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:---The grass was soft to the touch and the dew that formed on them every morning would feel so fresh and cool on Carla’s skin when she lay on the grass and watched as the sun would rise, releasing colours of red, purple and pink in the sky with the clouds floating about their business as they were carried by the wind, barely noticing Carla.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A great opening line. The next paragraph could be made a bit stronger to grab the reader's attention better right from the start.
The 'count by two until her hands would stop shaking.' seems awkward, at least in this section.
A nice humorous touch with the sister and her high heels.
Nice creative story-line well written with great descriptions of both scenes and characters. This helps me to relate with the characters as well as picture the setting.
Hannahnunchun thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:A good proof read and edit never hurts. Consider a blank line between longer paragraphs. This will make it easier for the reader as well as more inviting to a browser. Apparently todays readers have a short attention span and prefer stories short, straight to the point. Consider editing some of the less exciting parts.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A well worded lyrics style poem with a nice rhyming scheme that contributes to the overall rhythmic flow of this poem.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a generous soul who has learned the satisfaction of giving without expecting anything in return. No disappointments when expected nothing in return however when rewarded it is a unexpected yet welcome blessing.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this enchanting work.
Wandering Thoughts thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful eight line poem written for "Express it in Eight". Good use of the prompt words. A random rhyming scheme adds to the charming flow of this poem.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a archaeological dig where the ancient remains of a human like being has been discovered.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful work.
LeJenD' at 49 thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well worded free verse poem. An inspirational poem emphasizing humanities bad habit of getting in too big of a hurry and not taking time to enjoy life.
This charming poem projects a nice rhythmic flow.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: Gazing over the sea of time I see a future world that has survived devastating wars among its inhabitants. Finally the inhabitants have learned to get along with each other. They only look for the good in their neighbor. Bad is a foreign word that has no meaning. Then when all finally seems to be right with everyone happy living in peace, suddenly their world is hit with an apocalyptic asteroid.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: This delightful poem has sent my mind to philosophize.
Wandering Thoughts thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi Kare iauun Enga I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed? Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Nicely structured.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialogue is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:---There's men his age with grandchildren looking forward to a pension hoping their hair doesn't all fall out before then and that they can afford those little blue pills to get an erection and Brett... He thinks he's some teenager and that the party will never end. Well it did. What if the child..."---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:Nice opening that makes me curious, wanting to read more.
A creative and entertaining folktale written with a very realistic tone that makes it easy for me to relate with the characters.
Nice ending that closes the story.
Kare iauun Engathank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Hi again PureSciFi I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed? Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A great structure that is easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A great opening, I like the introduction with descriptions about the Silver Doe plus some background information. This helps to get into this sci-fi world a little bit quicker.
A great job with the structure and I really like the font. Well written with good descriptions, a great job of world building. This helps me get into the story and picture the settings.
Looks like a typo for 'for' in this line--Once again, the GraveDiggers talked among each other four about a minute.--
A entertaining sci-fi adventure. Well done.
PureSciFi thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: A good proofread and edit never hurts.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: An inspirational poem emphasizing progression through life is like steps toward our eternity.
I like the references to walking and how we learn how after we're born however as we get older our strength weakens and often times we may lose that ability.
Good references to religion and the fact that it helps us to not fear death as age brings it closer.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a reality where life is only the first step, testing our faith and preparing us for the next phase in our journey toward eternity.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all in this entertaining and inspirational poem.
dogpack saving 4premium+ thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Hi RG1976 I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?None listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?The structure appears crowded and could benefit from a bit of line spacing, which would make it easier for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog does seem appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:---The girl stared at her, tilting her head slightly, like a dog when it’s about to be fed, but without the tenderness that dogs inspire.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:An entertaining tale. The opening lines could be stronger to better grab the readers attention from the start. Good descriptions with a lot of details, maybe too many as it seems to slow the story down.
The story seems to pick up a bit when Alexandra discovers she's being followed.
Seems to be a fairly good ending.
RG1976 thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:Consider more line spacing with a blank line between paragraphs this makes it appear less intimidating and a little easier for those of us readers with weak eyes.
A good reread and edit never hurts.
Personally as a rule of thumb I try to avoid starting sentences with 'But'.
In todays modern cyber world it seems that most readers have a short attention span and prefer things short and to the point. They seem to need a lot of action from the start to keep their attention.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A charming poem written in the Zejel form. I really do like this form.
A well worded creative poem that carries a rhythmic flow.
This short poem makes its point well, in todays fast-paced world the modern reader with their short attention span seems to like things short and to the point just like this poem.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a young athlete who has been going through a lucky streak and is on top of his game. However his head starts to swell a bit right before his lucky streak comes to an end.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the spelling grammar or mechanics of this entertaining work. Thank you for introducing me to this Zejel style.
Adherennium thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A charming free verse romance poem emphasizing on Time at first then followed by silence.
Artistic Voice and Imagery:I see a certain instance in the Sea of Time where two young lovers have drifted in opposite directions yet their paths are circling back to cross again.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:I see no problems at all with the spelling mechanics or grammar of this charming work.
Hi R.C. Montgomery I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed? Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader? A nice structure that is easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line:--- Before me lay a cliff’s edge, the edge of which led into infinite unknown.---
Instead of clicking on the edit points I noted them in this review.
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:The opening is interesting, could be a bit stronger. Consider opening with this line--I wondered what I would do today. My normally adventurous nature was tired.--
~2~I try to avoid starting a sentence with 'But'.
~3~The information about "My town" seems good and needed however consider editing the details that start this paragraph, maybe use in other parts of the story.
~5~Experiment with deleting the first and last sentences, they don't seem to be needed.
~7~Consider removing the second sentence.
~8~ Consider editing down to a couple sentences, the last 2 seem strongest.
~11~Consider rearranging the first sentence-- I wished to meet someone even more than simply being at the places.--
~12~~13~ Good descriptions, maybe to many. Consider editing out some of the details as they are not really needed. Experiment with adding a little action in this section.
~16~ The last sentence-- They shouldn't feel the same way.-- seems like it is not needed.
~17~ Edit the first sentence. Why were there notes?
~21~A bit of editing on longer sentences. I try to avoid starting a sentence with 'But'.
~25~ 'But'.
~31~ 'And' not needed.
A most delightful ending to this creative fantasy tale.
R.C. Montgomery thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions:Consider a good read and edit keeping in mind that today's modern reader has a short attention span and seems to prefer short straight to the point.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A short simple poem with a delightful flow. The cliff is high. I'll leave the Cliff for someone else. Short just the way the modern reader really likes things.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a high cliff, people look over it to see beyond the sky. Several daredevils attempt to climb the Cliff to glance the celestial view.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling on mechanics of this charming work.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A delightful free verse romance style poem. Written in a unique format with a haze of mystery that challenges the reader's mind.
This poem carries an easy rhythmic flow.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a couple who have been together a long time through both good times and bad. They have grown so accustomed to each other that neglect has them drifting apart.
Hi Jeffhans I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed?Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Yes Nicely structured.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes Good dialog
My favorite line:--- Maybe it was the coffee I’d chugged, or maybe I’d just rehearsed the moment too many times in my head. Either way, I kept my head, and that’s what opened the door. What started as a quick chat at a conference in ’62 stretched into hours, then weeks of late-night talks over glitchy holo-calls.---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A fair opening that does make me want to read more. Wonderful sci-fi technical descriptions that bring the Lasor scanning process to a perfect logical reality.
Marcus's vision of owning the mines is a nice modern day human touch that most everyone can relate to.
A creative storyline written in a nice orderly fashion to make this an entertaining read.
A good sales pitch ending.
Jeffhans thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Hi throwaway I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.
Are all 3 genres listed? Yes by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.
Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A nice structure that does make it easy for the reader.
Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem appropriate for its speaker.
My favorite line: ---“Sounds like you're on the run from something,” he remarked, then noticing the stricken look on her face said, “Don’t worry. I won’t pry more than I already have. Care for tea? No? Then we’ll get you going, and I’ll take mine later.”---
My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: The opening line could be made stronger to grab the reader's attention better from the start.
Consider starting with --“Thanks for letting me stay overnight. I’ll get myself out of your hair now.”
Well written with good descriptions that does help the reader visualize the scene as well as relate better with the storyline. A bit more action would hold the reader's attention better.
A nice ending however ending with a bit more mystery might leave the reader wanting to read more.
throwaway thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
Suggestions: Consider adding a little more action in the middle and possibly spreading out some of the less exciting details. A little mystery at the end or like a cliffhanger ending will be more out too leave the reader wanting to know more.
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well laid out informational article emphasizing muscle pain treatments and cures. Nice structure with good subtitles describing causes and treatments as well as ways to prevent muscle pain. Good recommendations and conclusion.
A nice well written article with good information. A bit more line spacing wouldn't hurt with possibly a larger font to make it easier for us with weak eyes. Also make it stand out and be more inviting for browsers. dainelylab.com thank you for sharing this article.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A dizain poem with a good specific rhyming pattern that contributes the strong spiritual flow. A deep ten line poem about Christ and the resurrection
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see a world where the all powerful father grants his son the power of his throne. The son teaches the world to be peaceful and forgive, not to let death have power over them and he paid the price for mankind's salvation.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the mechanics of this inspirational poem.
AnchorHolds925 thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Sounds like one delicious chili recipe. Written with great descriptions that I can almost taste it.
Looks like a great use of the prompt words.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a country town hosting a chili Bake Off competition. Packed with contestants spectators and the delicious aroma of homemade chili.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the great structure of this recipe.
JCosmos thank you for sharing your Work.
Write On!
Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A prose-poem form well written in a orderly well defined fashion that all add to the overall realistic flow of this work.
Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a blessed prophet testifying about how to make the best out of your life to a hungry crowd of followers.
Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar mechanics or spelling of this entertaining work.:
Kare iauu Enga thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.28 seconds at 6:27am on Jul 09, 2025 via server WEBX1.