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This is my first attempt to be a blogger. I hope to type a few items that you will enjoy. |
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I do not know where to begin with this description. The time period is from 0 to now. Please don't ask how long that is. I am sure with certain clues, you will be able to figure that out. I am writing this on my favorite old computer at home. I have a computer room that doubles as a retreat for a few of my pets when they want to be alone. I will cover mostly current thoughts. I hope to add some pictures as I have seen in a blog. I think that to do this sharing will take a lot of work, but the pictures I have seen are well worth it. Occasionally, I might review a flashback in mylife. I have times when I just roll that special even around in my mind until it has every possible facet examined. Usually this time is to try to figure out a "what if" scenario. If some of my items have no zest to it feel free to say so. I think that after I have some a few trial runs, then the real me will be out for all of the world to see. Luck you! As the saying goes, "Come with me and the best is yet to be." |
| What is so sad to me is when family members fight or hold grudges. Some times they will not talk to each other for ages or never again. I am now married and feel that I have a family that is good. Some members may take advantage of others which could in the end have a heavy price to pay. In the beginning, there was Stan and Jill. They loved each other dearly and had a very nice marriage. Then Jill who was older than Stan, got sick and died. I cannot being to write about Stan's grief because I was not around him to witness it. I can and will take his word that he was devastated enough to go to a 'lost partner's group' for therapy. Stan is a MENSA member so I guess he obtained enough information to make deductions, decisions and plans for his future. One decision was to go home to Oklahoma. But he must have felt empty inside so he found a friend, me, and let nature take its course. If he liked what happened, then he would go on seeing me. If he did not like my style of life, and other factors, he would continue having this special house built and bring me north. Guess what won. I see his family and think they are great people. But now I want to really talk about my family. Yes, to save you time, we are all weird. I have two brothers and one half brother. We are all married. We are different and have lived that way. But now I am worried that my older brother is dying and will leave this world with out having the opportunity to say goodbye to our older half brother and his family.What a shame. Bert, the half brother is so intent to keep all of his life and etc private that Fred might not have that opportunity for closure. I am in on Bert and his wife's feelings only by an unusual or bizarre incident. I have regretted but given my word to keep information about Bert and his family silent from Fred and David. I have called Bert up and told him that Fred is sick from cancer but Bert is either stubborn or afraid of something. What happens next is known only to God. I do hope that he can arrange a meeting with everyone to resolve and bring in love to heal the wounds that time from the past could not. Anger, hate, or mistrust should be eliminated and family love should give them one more chance for truce and serenity, ie...peace. Peace is all I ask for. Peace will take away pain that is a terrible sore in the heart. Peace is love. Please give Fred his wish, family and peace. Love you Fred, and all of my family of Culls and Dennises and Kirekes. |
| What can I say? I have a dog that thinks he can do almost anything he wants. Yea, old Balto is the guy. When he wants attention, he will do things he knows that will set me off. I wanted to bop him, but I feel that somewhere in the past, he was whipped or hit/hurt to enforce discipline. He is ready to defend himself. He will not also be cooperative most of the time now. He just wants to play, play, play. Today he picked on Diane's artificial flowers. He knows the he is not supposed to even touch them. But would he let them go? Noooo. And he did not want the game to end by me taking them away from him. So what he did was act like he would attack or bite me. I did not like that. I felt that there3 had to be a disciplinary action. I pretended to get ready for our walk. He does like to take a walk. But I left him in the back yard. jI showed Stan the leash and then dropped it so that Balto could see it. I left for the walk without him. I think that I hit the 'oh no' spot. He barked a few times which meant for me to come back to get him, but I turned around and waved. "Bye, bye!" Balto looked shocked. I will find out tomorrow when he has to wait until I am ready. Part II I told Stan that I am jealous of him. He looks nice and I look fat. I mean FAT! I am sure that the fact that sometimes he does not eat breakfast. I am embarrassed that he sits and I sit most of the night. He does not gain weight but I gain weight. Now please do not blame the 2 and I mean only 2 chocolate chip cookies. I walk two miles or more and he does not. He sits in the morning and weeds the front yard. Yes! Sits and weeds. And I am embarrassed in mentioning that I have observed many fat women. Oh my God. Some of these ladies are huge and on the sad road to being a diabetic. I know that I need to lay down sweets, but these ladies need to cut them all out of their lives. Enough said. I need to watch what I eat, not eat what I eat. Part III My blogging is not getting better. I think that I am just writing. I want this to be an enjoyable story. It's time to review and think through more stuff. Or maybe just go to bed. I know that I can do better. Nighty night! Yawn |
| Today we found out that Jonas has some dental problems. It will require some intensive repair. I am not happy to go to the dentist. They are expensive. I usually end up in the chair with my head lower than my feet. This time the job will be long and painful. I really feel for Janos and hope that the doctor can do a job that is professional and perfect and needs no additional repairs. Janos did say something that made me think that most of the family has medical problems. I have a hammer toe and medium sized cataracts. Stan has cataracts. Diane had a strange problem with the retina in her eye today. Kirk has diabetes. We are a medical gold mine or an insurance company"s nightmare. We would like to be healthy but ;problems that are beyond our control are just that . Beyond our control. I am going to plan to have surgery within the next two weeks. I am already walking Balto 2 miles in the morning. Stan does not think that he will be able to do that. I do not know how long I will be hobbling around but one week is already too long for me. I see walking as one of the most valuable kind of exercise that I can do. I sit a lot and see my muscle tone becoming yucky. My clothes do not fit well. My body looks like I have a fat suit on. I just can't do much any more. Someone give me a tread mill or let me go to a gym. Oh I forgot that I need dental work. I had a root canal before I came here and was supposed to have a crown on that tooth. It just has not happened. And there are times that I think that I chewed too hard. Just don't let me break that tooth! Well I hear Balto giving Stan a hard time. Must go. I do hope that I can make it through the surgery with minimum down time. Let's get hopping!Body |
| Today was fix it day. We had a problem with a faucet that required outside work, with a plumber. The man did a great job but he needed to put a hole in Jonas' wall.It could not be helped. But the job was done. Other repairs will be done. Stan mentioned that there was a sprinkler head that was not functioning. Casina started pooping and peeing in the living room. One of the animals broke Munchies' ceramic dish in our bedroom. It was one thing after another. But Stan still saw this as normal progress. He loves his home. I don't blame him. It is a dream come true and he has earned it. (I have said this many times before and I mean it.) He checked out the names and occupations of some of our neighbors. The one he liked was a dentist. Sorry but Shadow is ready for bedtime. Must go. More later. |
| Oh no! Not that agin! No I am finished with 7-4 and 7-5. If that comes up, it will be minor, I hope Today we had work to do. We are cleaning the house and arranging things to make our lives easier. We are also making plans for the future. Our lives have been blessed with good decisions. That is important. We do take chances but overall, we play the odds that seem favorable. Our finances have been assisted in the fact that we do not spend what we do not have. It's called budgeting and is a must. I can say that I have not met a man who is more careful than Stan. Bless him for that. We do not know what is going to happen to the other people in the house. Stan's step son and daughter in law are two of the hardest working people I know. They are trying to sell a ranch like property out of town. Diane has gone there almost every weekend, to feed her dogs and clean some part of the large place. I just wonder how she can do it all. We have a nice relationship. She is learning sign language very well. It helps to have some one to talk to and share odds and ends of what our thoughts are. She says that she is OCD and I see some of it. But I feel that once I was that way too. It is a disorder that can lead to making you go crazy if things do not go right. Her husband, Kirk is a nice man. He is Jill's, Stan's first wife's son. Kirk is so intelligent and a creator. I know that one day he will have something invested that will be a God sent to many people. Their son, Jonas is one young man who has fine qualities of his mind. He does have areas that need work on. (Don't all young people.) He should be on his own with his lovely dog, Casina, but is going through a transition period. Moneyl in hand before an apt can be obtained. I do wish him well. I just have to add something about tonight's sunset. It was so lovely. Oklahoma has had so many great looking sunsets, that they all could be a PR program. Myl brother David, a meteorologist would love each one. So tonight's blog was BLAH! Just jibber-jabber. But I'll think of more as time goes on. I just wanted to write and keep my mind thinking about what happened today. I hope that this will keep others interested. Bedtime. Got to go. Sleep tight everyone. PEACE AND HARMONY. |
| I am back. I just want to say a little more regarding the "lockout." I do not want to push Stan to the point that marriage is hurtful or a big headache for him, but I still want to be happy with my life and role as woman, wife and Judy. One day has passed. I still see pain in Stan's eyes. We did a lot together. Had a nice lunch. Sat outside after a cool walk this evening. We have hugged and kissed. I feel that he is sorry for some things. I am too. I guess, with much consideration, I over reacted. But at the time my thoughts were real or justified. Now I guess not so much. I am trying to compare our marriage to David and Laurel's, Fred and Sue's and Bert and MIllie's. They each have their own appearance. Stan and I do look good and feel good, but there is that one factor. Me. I do not have the mojo or sense that the others do. I feel that I have matured some. But I do not want to be Mrs. dull, boring, dependent person who I have seen in others, or on TV. . I want to be a plus instead of a minus in the relationship. I do not want to be bossy but a teammate or partner. I am talking equal. I want to help Stan when he is not feeling well. I want to make independent decisions, as he suggested or hoped I would. I want to make our lives one that others would look at with admiration,. We do want to stay married. we, I mean I, have a lot to learn, but I still want to be me. Just a better me. God wants me here, I believe. Stan and I want this to work. Life will probably have more surprises. Most of them good I hope. I'll probably talk more about this because marriage is complicated and serious. (Listen to me talk!) But we can have fun too. And I don't just mean bedtime playl. I do know that since we are both seniors, and have already shown signs of life's problems. that we will need the support of each other even more. God please let us have several good years with more love and less fuss. Thank you for listening. |
| My husband is truly a mystery to me. Yesterday he was charming to my brother and sister-in-law. He took us all to lunch and paid for it. After lunch, we went to his house and chatted until David and Laurel needed to go to a motel so they could visit Audrey, their daughter. They made it safely. Stan was a little off and tired for a while. But we later had quality time and went to sleep. Today Stan was back at pulling weeds. He has done this almost daily for at least a month. He also looked for and found sprinkler heads. Next he wanted to find the water meter and turn on-off switch. Success goes to the persistent man. He found it. We both had a nice nap. But Stan still seemed groggy. Almost Irritable. We had dinner and then Stan went into the room to clean the litter boxes which I took over. Stan began watching TV. Galileo. Balto began acting silly by trying to eat a handkerchief. Stan did want to watch the program but Balto was too silly. It was almost sunset. I heard some jets fly overhead for the beginning of the Fourth of July fireworks. I ran outside to see the jets but missed them. I tried to return to the room when I discovered the door to the inside was locked. I had been locked out. I went around to the gate near Janos' room and into an unlocked door. I confronted Stan and he seemed/pretended to not know what happened. I do suspect that he was responsible. I walked around the block\ and then sat down on one of the benches below our house. No body seemed to care since no one came. I finally came into Shadow's s room and sat down. I am very sad that first, someone would lock me out. Second that I did not have my key. Third that no one seems to want to know where I am. Looks like the honeymoon and the marriage is in danger to being lost. Stan says that I am too sensitive while he gets upset and makes me apologize /crawl when something simple happens to him. I suspect that something inside the mind of Stan is off. He needs to see a doctor. He needs to get a good night sleep. He needs to show me more respect. Should I say "...or...". I did promise for better or for worse. But I do insist on being treated with respect like IL treat him. If this continues, my health will deteriorate to the point that I'll go nuts. Question: Should I break my promise to God to save my sanity or life? Or should I act like other women I see and pretend I don't care or that I am in the total wrong? In other words: Should I be his slave and let him treat me worse than he treats Balto and Munchie? His mind is not consistent and I would like him to go to a doctor for a complete exam. Our marriage will depend on the outcome. God, do you have any suggestions\? I need a word or two from above. |
| Today was a nice day. My brother and his wife swung down to Broken Arrow on their return journey to visit me and Stan and see our house. It was nice to see someone from home. (even if it is from Katy, Texas). They really liked the house, Balto, Casina, and our safe room. My brother wanted to see a real. tornado but all we got was a lot of rain. We all ate and ate at Apple Barrel. That place is good with food. They had been in North Dakota for Laurel and David to attend a family reunion. Next Laurel wanted to gather more information on certain family members that she had questions about. She got some pieces but will have to wait to get more from someone who was not at home. Then we came home to S. Tamarack and talked. That is the best part. We all shared things that made me feel closer as a member of the families. So then it was time to say "Good-bye." They left before we had a downpour. I later learned that they had no problems going to their next stop. David and Laurel are indeed world travelers and their children as well. David was nice enough to bring me some Star Trek memorabilia from Iowa. That was nice of him. I gave him the Duke Snyder stuff from an antique store. Later tonight 7/3/19 there were fireworks in the sky. Tomorrow is the Fourth but some places wanted to do it on Wednesday. Churches. I'lm just listing things with a few thoughts. If this is written up, I'll try to do better. Poem line: I wonder if this. is how the universe looked as it was being made. Hope it works. Bye (Zeeeer, Boom, Bang.) |
| I have met so many nice people here. Some of them were taking a beautiful morning's jog, walk with their dog, or just walking for the beauty of it. Today I met a lady who had a severely handicapped child. The child was laying down in the back of a van that had over 400000 miles on it. The motor sounded that it was very old and needed some tuning up. It was hot inside until the lady pulled it into a shade. This lady was going to fix up our yard to make it look better. My husband and she talked about what he wanted. I talked to the girl who might be from 12-13 years or more. I did the talking. The girl could not talk. She could not walk. She could not sit up in the van, only lay there moving her arms. Occasionally C. would slap at some of the baby's toys that hung above her. Giraffe.Lion. Dinosaur. Butterfly. There was also a plastic bag the was near her face. Her mother said that she enjoyed hitting it because of the sound it make. There were a couple of times that the girl made eye contact with me. She even smiled a little bit. I wish I could communicate with her more but a smile or grunt was about all I could get out of her. There was no smell in the van like urine or body odor. She was clean. Her hair was combed. Her clothes looked a little old but okay. This child was cared for, with love. I could not even guess how long it took her to get her ready each morning. But again I know she was loved. The mother said that she was her first child. Wow! She has other children. What a remarkable woman. But I come back to C. Somewhere inside that slender body was a wonderful child who could not do anything but lay there. Maybe she went to school during the year, but as for now, she was with her loving mother. At the end of our meeting, the mother and I talked. She would be back after she finished her other jobs before ours. I hoped that at the weather would be better. If not Stan and I agreed that C could lay down in our house while her mother worked. That is the least we could do. Sweet dreams young lady. I do hope that you and your whole family have a wonderful Fourth of July. I am wishing for you all to have a wonderful week and holiday. There will be more added later. I'm sure. |
| Well the end of June is just a few minutes away. (Time: 10:55) July is about the half way point of summer. And I am already sick of the heat even though Broken Arrow's temperature is better than Houston's temperature in many instances. It is the humidity that causes Houston to be abominable. But the best thing is that July fourth is a holiday. I have seen so many fireworks stands that if lightning struck them at one time, all of Broken Arrow would be gone. Tonight Stan and I walked Balto at about 9:00 PM and people already were lighting them. Pops were all around us. Thursday, the fourth my brother and his wife may visit. I am looking forward to their visit. They have been traveling a lot, especially up north to visit Laurel's family for ancestry information. She has enough to write a pretty good book if she wanted to. On the way they plan to visit us in our new house. I do hope that we will impress them. David and I are a little competitive. But that's ok. I don't have much to say tonight so I'll sign off with SWEET DREAMS and sleep tight, Don't let the bedbugs bite. ZZZZZZZZZZZ |
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