June 9, 2007
Reading, FOR A GENIUS by Potus Emeritus, heading for the booksehlf, pulling MURDER FOR CHRISTMAS, my favorite short story anthology, paging to DANCING DAN'S CHRISTMAS by Damon Runyon.
Caring to impart info that Runyon's writes in present tense. And last Wed, find another copy at a local library where librarians show kindness by separating anthologies in the stacks.
Thus, not that far off the mark to suggest in FOR A GENIUS, the piece contain some present tense as opposed to all past tense, or past perfect tenses.
Read without a hitch while superimposing present tense to same. This saves readers time, peaks interest.
Wondering why as writers we insist on always the fact that when we tell stories, write stories, portray happenings we tend to put all into the past, yet expect readers to hang on the words like a lifeline to the plot.
Well, that's okay if that's what an author desires, simply a suggestiton to try a differnt apporach occasionally. Note also cutting down in some places also surely allows spots for adverbs, etc. or creative/ or eloquent phrases.
Next: A few tiny errors found and likes also including these today, now, like presently, time wise.
The SUGGESTIONS:
had not gone --- didn't go
Lost at: "If you sell your sunglasses ...
Accept this may pertain to --- the lyrics: The future's so bright, one has to wear shades theme --- otherwise (?)
Also this is in dialogue so still acceptable as character is talking.
Love & adore:" ... a babysat, nervous boy ..."
Love: main character's ego being mentioned in the intro and carried across well throughout, P.E.
at time -- typo == at times
had hit === hit
(Note not going to do all predicates past tense references this morning.)
I had == I'd or use another verb IF intentions aim toward present tense during future edits. Here, Emeritus, you might consider you're doing a great job with this terrible, unprecedential car accident --- Which this author certainly brings to life along the road that is fiction, without a doubt!! Praiseworthy plotting.
roared as --- Using 'as' one can use roar since the action is happening right on the spot when the car starts.
Note: All suggestions herein are certainly up to the writer to consider for the work if it suits the original author, namely: Potus Emeritus.
So, thanks for the very good read.
The word: "Emeritus' is mentioned in: "Reviewing Wisdom 1, 2, 3 GO!" 
a 2004 c-rite. Nice pen name, BTW.
Best in all future writing endeavors. Feel free to visit {btem:924861} if you get a chance, Potus.
Do one thing today, pretty please --- besides enjoying a summery day, promise to continue Writing ON!!
Cordially, Teff
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
http://readingdestiny.highpowersites.com
lllllllllllllllllllllllll |
|
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
