My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Danielle prepares to go out on a blind date.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author captured the anxiety of getting ready for a date. I think we've all felt that at one time or another.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 3rd person limited by Danielle. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a limited amount of dialogue. It accents the narration well.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the 5 senses and placing a sentence here or there to accent the description.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Danielle
There's enough here to understand her motivations.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening draws the reader into Danielle's world. The author did a great job with the ending, as I didn't expect it as a reader. Write on!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
There's a witch doctor in Barcelona causing trouble.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the story flowed. It was tense and nervous and I wanted to know what happened next.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue heightens the narration.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes. The author uses good work choice to "amp up" the suspense. For example, "Her eyes prowled."
SETTING
TIME: historical
PLACE: urban historical setting
This is something that could be clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Enriqueta
There's enough here to understand her motivations. She's a witch. She wants money and will do anything for it.
MECHANICS
Check the spelling of "witch" in your blurb, it's written "which." I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. Punctuation should be included in a dialogue tag, not outside.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader and keep them reading. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem is about losing someone from your life, than gaining them back.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the poem evoked emotion, especially longing. I think it's an emotion that any reader can connect with.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. The author also uses slant rythmes within the stanzas.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. This was an easy poem to read and understand, but you could easily take it to a deeper level. Word selection was dynamic.
Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
What happens when a closed mind is opened?
WHAT I LIKED
What I liked about this poem is that words are used to paint a picture of a steel cage, but the deeper meaning deals with the cage of the mind, and what happens when the mind is free.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme varies from stanza to stanza. Slant rythmes are employed in a Dickinson-esque manner.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem makes the reader go deeper, to think about the different "cages" in life that hold us back. Or perhaps prejudices? At least, that's what I got from it. I think that's the brilliance of the poem - how different people can take it to mean different things.
Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
Silence can haunt us all.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the word play. I often feel like this - should I say something? should I not? When I don't, I feel the silence has found a home in the uneasy pit of uncertainty.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem. Rythme scheme reminds me of Emily Dickinson's. AB blank, AB blank where the blanks form a slant rythme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem does a great job at evoking uncomfortable emotion. Well done.
Reviewed by StephB for Angel Army August Review Forum
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Marcia Crumb has discovered a piece of gossip she can't keep to herself, but when she starts the ball rolling, the ending is not what she expected.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the narrator's voice. Very engaging. Great build up to the ending.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 3rd persom limited by Marcia. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue moves the story forward. It is believeable for the characters written.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: high school
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Marcia
There's enough here to understand her motivations regarding why she starts a "rumor."
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Kiya, it is always a pleasure to pop into your port and read your stories. I think I found this in a newsletter and of course I like Adele and the title to this story enticed me to read. Everything is spot on, and I know this is something that's happened a 100 times in high school. Readers can easily relate to what Marcia is experiencing. A very enjoyable story that's easy to read and relate to.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE CNOTES
(de) Motivational cNotes offers encouragement to keep on writing, even when you encounter an obstacle in your path. The cNotes can be used year around.
WHAT I LIKED
The cNotes brought out a chuckle in me. The word play and graphics are a perfect match.
ENGAGING
The cNotes invites the reader to buy.
VARIETY
There was a nice variety of notes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
The introduction defines the reason and use for the cNote collection. I thought the cNotes were very affordable.
Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE CNOTES
Secret Pal cNotes offers whismical graphics that will touch the heart of the person receiving it.
WHAT I LIKED
The graphics fit the theme of the selection. (secret pal)
ENGAGING
The cNotes invites the reader to buy.
VARIETY
There was a nice variety of notes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the cNote collections that offered. I might also offer a blurb (short intro - 25-50 words to talk about the benefit of using the cNotes. I thought the cNotes were reasonably priced.
Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE CNOTES
WDC cNotes II offers engaging graphics. The selected cNote acts as a coupon to be redeemed for several items like Merit Badges and Awardicons around the site.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the graphics used in the cNotes. I thought they were appealing to the eye.
ENGAGING
The cNotes invites the reader to buy.
VARIETY
There was a nice variety of notes.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the tone for the cNote collections that offered. I thought the cNotes were reasonably priced considering the coupon they offered
Reviewed by StephB for Best of the Rest August Angel Army Celebration
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
What's She Up to now? Jody's Life Blog engages the reader talking about WDc, North Carolina, and life.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the honesty and sincerity behind the day-to-day postings. As I reader, I appreciated it.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts. Some discussed her home in North Carolina, a friend's visit, photography, WDc activities and PTSD.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. The author's voice is expressive and draws a reader in.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I might also suggest incorporating more graphics, and links for a visual appeal, for example You Tube links. I might also suggest sharing some pictures from your photography class. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
Closer to the Truth engages the reader using you tube, poetry, and thoughts on writing.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the post about the Led Zeppelin plagerism case.
ENGAGING
The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted twice on topics.
VARIETY
There was a variety of posts. Some were poetry, some share You Tube videos that touched on the viewer's emotions.
EXPRESSIVE
The blog was easy to read. The poetry was very expressive and easy to see in the mind's eye.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.
PARTING THOUGHTS
I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. There were links to other items by the author. I enjoyed visiting your blog.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
This poem tells a story about a mother's sadness.
WHAT I LIKED
Good word choices. I liked the last 3 lines of the poem. It provided a nice twist to the story and really brought the story the poem was telling home.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with no apparent rythme scheme. The last 2 lines of each stanza repeats, adding to the poignancy of the poem.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem is sad and tugs on the heartstrings. Well done! This was a Bard's Hall Contest entry for MAY 2016.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
This poem has a Mother's Day theme.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the poem told a story. Good word choices.
STRUCTURE
This is a basic triquatrain poem with an extra refrain. The extra refrain adds to the poem's poignancy. Well done.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/puncutation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. The poem is expressive and heartfelt. This was a Bard's Hall Contest entry for MAY 2016.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
In this essay, the author shares his thoughts about spring and how important nature is to the human soul.
WHAT I LIKED
My favorite line: "An awareness of the beauty, symmetry, and a carefully executed ballet began to creep into my thoughts. Peace began to settle upon me once more..."
When I take my walks up at the nearby rec center, I often have similiar thoughts. Well said.
STRUCTURE
This is an essay with a beginning, middle, and end.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. Very visual and descriptive; evokes positive emotion. Well done. Write on! This was written for the Bard's Hall Contest. Good luck!
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
This is a quick, momentum building essay.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the essay was succinct and to the point. It was easy to read and understand.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
GOAL SETTING
Immediate writing goals for 2016 (for FEB 2016) are set and appear achievable.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for grammar and punctuation. As written: "My story isn't going to be quite as pedestrian as that. So, watch for it!" I might suggest: "My story isn't going to be quite as pedestrian as that, so watch for it. (!)" I prefer the period, but exclamation point is fine if the intent is to stress a point.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The essay assesses past behavior and provides motivation for the future.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the end. JUST DO IT. I also liked how the author left the essay "open-ended" to allow for changes and updates.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the 2nd person, "you" to me. Past tense is used appropriately.
GOAL SETTING
The author establishes a set of personal goals to go along with his writing goal - finish his book.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation, especially examination points. I would suggest using them sparingly. I would also spell out "okay," OK is acceptable when writing in a journalistic style or a blog.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. I think you've set some great goals for the year that will have big payoffs. Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The essay takes on a motivational tone and establishes personal/writing goals for 2016.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the conversational tone of the essay. I think striving to become a WDC preferred author is a great goal to work on.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the 2nd person (you to me). Usually professional editors prefer 1st or 3rd narration. Your conversational tone and genuine openness is what makes this essay work. If anything, I would encourage you to use a 1st person narration. It would make the essay a more personal read to the reader.
GOAL SETTING
Clear goals are established. I liked that personal goals strive to achieve a lifestyle change.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. I liked that your essay was easy to read and understand. Your presentation complimented the essay. Remember 2016 can be anything you make it so make it fun! Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The essay assesses 2015 goals and sets writing goals for 2016.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked that the essay was succinct and easy to read.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the 2nd person (you to me.) Most professional editors prefer 1st/3rd person narration. I might suggest just using a 1st person narration. What makes the essay work is the tone of "voice," used. It's very conversational and draws the reader in.
GOAL SETTING
There's an assessment of 2015 and writing goals are listed for the upcoming year.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader using a conversational voice. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Congrats on your success as woodworker and 62 is never too old be published! Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
An inspirational essay that deals with the author's personal goals.
WHAT I LIKED
The essay was easy to read.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the 2nd person (you to me.) Most professional editors prefer 1st or 3rd person. This essay is easy to understand due to the conversational tone of voice.
GOAL SETTING
Clear personal goals are set for 2016.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Your goal is deeply personal. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The essay establishes writing goals for 2016.
WHAT I LIKED
I think this you've got achievable goals. The essay is easy to read and to the point.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. The first person narration allows for the reader to be drawn into the author's world.
GOAL SETTING
Clear writing goals for 2016 are set.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader using a conversational voice. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Writing is a talent that grows with practice and study. You've got a good goal, just be patient with it. Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
This is a motivational essay/letter that assess the previous year's goals and establishes new personal goals for 2016.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the inspirational tone of the essay.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the 2nd person (you to me). Most professional editors encourage a 1st or 3rd person narration. I might suggest using a 1st person narration here.
GOAL SETTING
Clear goals for 2016 are discussed.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader using a conversational voice. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. A 12 min mile is a great goal. Be patient. It will come. Good luck in the contest.
- The JAN 2016 "Dear Me" Contest. Thanks for entering.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE ESSAY
The establishes writing goals for 2016 on Writing.com.
WHAT I LIKED
The essay is easy to read and understand.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is written in the first person. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
GOAL SETTING
Clear goals are established.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for capitalization.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader using a conversational voice. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. It sounds like you've got a good overall plan that involves reading, reviewing and writing. Be patient with your plan. Good luck in the contest.
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