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Review of Mia  
Review by StephBee
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, I'm StephBee and I am reviewing your story for
SURVEY
Short Shots: Official WDC Contest  (ASR)
Use the photo to inspire your creativity. Write a short story and win big prizes!
#1221635 by Writing.Com Support
Thanks for entering.

*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Mia is saved by the Paul's father, but she harbors a secret...

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story flowed. Before I knew it, was over.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person limited by Paul. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I especially liked: "I stared at the small oval face with the button nose and upward slanting eyes." -- nice visual with a good economy of words. The descriptions could be expanded by tapping into the five senses, especially smell.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: 1975
PLACE: coastal/beach setting.

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Paul

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He wants to help Mia. His infatuation is well done. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. It wasn't clear to be that Uncle Al was following Paul and I had to re-read the part again until I picked up on "There was another boat far away" (which for the longest time I was confusing with the boat that followed Paul's boat, so I would make that clear that it's a separate boat. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.

Glowing Steph
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402
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Alex and Rebekkah travel to the beginning of time, not realizing what awaits them.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the creativity and imagination of the story.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited from Alex's perspective. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I might suggest tapping into the five senses to really put me in the scene with the characters. What is the machine like? Does it smell warm and inviting, or cold and unsettling? Could you tap into a sense of touch? Hearing?

*Star* SETTING

TIME: future
PLACE: a time machine

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Alex

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He wants to see what the beginning was like. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion as mentioned above. The opening needs engages the reader. The story is easy to read and well presented. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall March 2019 contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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403
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (1.5)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, raw, and maybe a tad disrespectful in accordance with the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam guidelines. Remember 1 star is KING.

*Reading* THE POEM

Cupid takes out Santa's sleigh on Valentines Day and starts slinging his arrows...

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Nice stupidity on the part of Cupid.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a quatrain poem with the 1st/2nd and 3rd/4th lines rythming.

*Star* MECHANICS

Spelling is okay. There is a lot punctuation for bad poetry, but the story is good. I have to mark "up" for the accurate punctuation. Sorry.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A deliciously enjoyable tale of how the bees get their revenge on Cupid.

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature }
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404
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, raw, and maybe a tad disrespectful in accordance with the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam guidelines. Remember 1 star is KING.

*Reading* THE POEM

The author finds Cupid offensive and wants nothing to do with the stupid.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Great descriptions! Also, I liked the rhythmic nature of the poem. Nice flow.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free verse poem with internal rythmes. Well done.

*Star* MECHANICS

Spelling is okay. There is no punctuation, which accents the bad content.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A deliciously enjoyable bad piece of cupid slam poetry. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature }
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405
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
*Note1* My review is meant to be honest, raw, and maybe a tad disrespectful in accordance with the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam guidelines. Remember 1 star is KING.

*Reading* THE POEM

Cupid did this couple no favors with his arrows.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

Only a few minutes is all that you need to leave you with VD or... (shiver) babies. Nice bad rhythms.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a quatrain poem with the 1st/3rd and 2nd/4th lines rythming.

*Star* MECHANICS

Spelling is okay. There is some punctuation, but only some, so that's good.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

A deliciously enjoyable bad piece of romantic poetry. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature }
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Review of Jean's Son  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Ron writes a heartfelt letter to his mom while he recovers from injuries.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending. It was very heartfelt and uplifting.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Is there anything else I can get you?" asked Sarah as she draped a tartan blanket over Jean's knees.

MY SUGGESTION: Sarah draped a tartan blanket over Jean's knees. "Is there anything else I can get you?"

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest taping into the five senses to heighten the description.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ron

There's enough here to understand his motivations. His injury has allowed him to explore his relationships with his family members. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. The letter sounds very formal. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Sarah, a solider, might not make it home in time for Christmas due to her patrol being shot at.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the tone of Sarah's letters. They felt honest and real, and captured the character's voice well. I also like that the focus of the story was on a female solider. It was a nice spin on the prompt.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person omniscient. Good job with POV narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I might suggest taping into the five senses to heighten the description.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sarah

There's enough here to understand her motivations and her concern for family. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. The story follows the prompt well. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Glowing Steph
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Review of Tofurkey Day  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A couple is in a pickle when the turkey burns up in the oven.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I loved the comedic character voice. I could easily see this hilarious debacle happening on Thanksgiving! *BigSmile*

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by the wife. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. The dialogue captures the essence of the characters well and I could easily picture this conversation in my mind.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. I especially liked the scene where the poor bird gets incinerated.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: the present
PLACE: a family house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Wife

There's enough here to understand her motivations. She wants to cook a BIG turkey for Thanksgiving but the bird has other ideas... *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. I loved how the beginning and the ending came full circle. It funny look at how sometimes you have to resort to Tofu. Word count was not listed in the bitem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review of No Turkey?!  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A young boy and his friend's family celebrate Thanksgiving, but is turkey on the menu?

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked where Albert turned up. It was perfect for the setting.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by an unnamed narrator. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration to tell the story. Dialogue tags were used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scene. My only suggestion would be to touch upon the sense of smell. I've got a nice visual of the story, but I'd love to have stragetically placed sentence that really captures a warm "smell" of Thanksgiving like nutmeg, allspice, cloves, etc...

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: Maine

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Unnamed narrator

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's excited to be spending Thanksgiving with his friend. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. A heartwarming story with a touch of suspense. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

This review is for your entry in the Bard's Hall OCT 2018 CONTEST.

*Reading* THE STORY

There are 4 ghostly vignettes of restless spirits who haunt the material world.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked all the stories. I really appreciated the 'real' life aspect of the stories.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: various settings

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

None

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

My only suggestion would be to take one of these vignettes and write a historical fiction story that fits the prompt. All the vignettes are interesting, so you have a solid fountain for a story. I did not see a word count. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

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Review of A Haunted House  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A haunted house continues to haunt a couple, even after they move...

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the word red was used at interesting points in the story. There was a red tiled roof, a red moon, and ending pulled in the red tiled roof again to make a nice circle back to the beginning.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person, by an unnamed narration. Narration is consistent. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest using the 5 senses. You could have a lot of fun with "smell."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting/a haunted house

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Ann-Louise

There's enough here to understand her motivations. After losing her child and family, cats become her friends until ... *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest. Good use of honor elements in the story.

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Review of Sewer Creature  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

A sewer creature bubbles up from where else? The sewer - in pursuit of food.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the icky description of the sewer creature. That's what drew me in.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person. Point of View "head hops" between the sewer creature and other people involved in the story which can be disconcerting. It might suggest using a consistent voice of an unnamed narrator. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest taping into the sense of "smell." Things I liked: "greasy dark creature." "warm putrid air."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting/home

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Sewer Creature, Nicole and Cathy and Sam

There's enough here to understand their motivations. Everyone wants to eat. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was NOT listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest. The story is creepy and icky and raises the hair on ones' arms. I'd suggest a broad edit to fix small things.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review of The Pumpkin Patch  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

The Ditmore family goes to the local Pumpkin Patch to pick a pumpkin. Little do they realize there are sinister intentions involved...

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the ending! It brought the story full circle and brought home the "horro" nature of the story well.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person. Point of View "head hops" between Marci and Tom, which can be disconcerting. It might suggest using a consistent voice of an unnamed narrator. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a separate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.

FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: "Are you sure this is all right?" his wife asked as she unbuckled her seat belt. "I don't see anybody else here."

MY SUGGESTION: Marci unbuckled her seat belt. "Are you sure this is all right? I don't see anyone here."

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest using the 5 senses. You could have a lot of fun with "smell."

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting/pumpkin patch

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Marci and Tom

There's enough here to understand their motivations. They want to buy their kids a pumpkin for Halloween. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest. Nice horror elements used in the story.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review of FIRE! FIRE!  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines. My review is for the Bard's Hall Contest:
FORUM
The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+)
JUNE:Annual Blog Month!
#981150 by StephBee


*Reading* THE STORY

Cpt. O'Leary is missing from the Bardstown's Celebration. There's an APB out for Harvey and Cpt. O'Leary has to go catch him again!

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the poem. There was a nice catchy rhythm to it and it gave the reader a good idea why Cpt. O'Leary was up to what he was up to.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's no dialogue.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. A good attempt considering the 18 sentence limit.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Cpt O'Leary

There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's waiting for Harvey to show up and destroy his house. *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. Sentence count was followed for the contest. Presentation of the story was well done. It was easy to read and understand. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE STORY

Cpt. O'Leary is missing from the Bardstown's Celebration. Hall and Fife go searching for Cpt. O'Leary and find him in a completely unexpected place!

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the "voice" of the story. There was a hint of energy and fun to it. The opening line was a nice hook and it was easy to "see" Fife in my mind as a reader.

*Star* POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the third person limited. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

*Star* DIALOGUE

There's a nice blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

*Star* DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. Given that the author has to solve the mystery in 18 sentences, they did a great job describing the setting and characters.

*Star* SETTING

TIME: modern day
PLACE: urban setting

This is something that is clarified for the reader.

*Star* CHARACTERS

Hall and Fife

There's enough here to understand their motivations. They need to find Cpt O'Leary and fast before the Bardtown's celebrations are ruined! *Thumbsup*

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. Sentence count was followed for the contest. I really enjoyed the ending. Good luck in the contest.

Coffee Cup 2007 Review signature
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE CNOTES

*Reading* These cnotes are meant to knowledge teachers and their hard work.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the design of notes.

*Star* ENGAGING

If you'd like to reach out to a "teacher" who has been fantastic, this is the place to come.

*Star*VARIETY

The variety is in the changing colors of the apples and books. If anything, I'd love to see something a little different here. I think an "apple" is heartfelt, but perhaps old fashioned. Nothing wrong with old fashioned, but I'd try to incorporate some new ideas. Cookies and Milk? Coffee? Tea? pencils? Crome books?

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Suggestion as mentioned above. There's a warm, heartfelt introduction, but I might suggestion using a graphic to frame the theme of the cnote collections.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Contest.
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE RAFFLE

*Reading* The raffle helps to fundraise for various groups around WDC and support the author's site membership.

*Smile* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the bird theme. I thought it was original and creative. I also appreciated the generosity behind the raffle and how other fundraisers around the site benefited. True Community Spirit!

*Star* ENGAGING

The raffle offers a lot of choices of birds. The Introduction is very clear. The ticket purchaser is put into a pot, and a winner is a drawn. They get a percentage of the pot. The other percentages go toward membership and other site fundraisers.

*Star*VARIETY

There were a good choice of birds to buy tickets for. Tickets could be gifted as well. I also liked that there was a link that described the birds. Very educational!

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Great introduction. Good use of graphics and WDC ML to make the raffle appealing. The raffle is not currently active, but with a few clicks of the button, the author could make it active again. Well done!

Reviewed by StephB for Party Central 2018 Angel Army WDC Birthday Celebration.
Angel Army Review Bear
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Reading* THE FOLDER

The folder is called the Writing.com Idol Competition Folder. There are several short stories and a clip art in the folder.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

The folder wasn't overwhelming. There was a nice variety of short stories. The titles of the stories were intriguing.

*Star* THEME/PRESENTATION

The theme is contest entries. From my poking around, I gathered all the stories had been contest entries. The folder was well organized and easy to read. There is a small introduction. If anything, you could expand on this by using a graphic or explaining about the contest the stories were entered in.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no suggestions for improvement. This folder was complied with love and care. Several of the stories have awards. Well done!

Review Signature
Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army
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Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Reading* THE POEM

This poem reads like an epic poem and tells the story of the author who gets caught in a blizzard.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked the story that the poem told. There was conflict, doubt, and hope. Each stanza keeps the reader involved and reading to find out what will happen next.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. There is no rythme scheme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest an edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion mentioned above. The poem tells an inspirational story and the ending is heartwarming. Done in a "epic" style, but doesn't meet the literary definition of epic poetry. Still, the style is engaging and the poem is easy to read and understand.

Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army

Angel Army Review Bear
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for entry "~ Jonah ~" 
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Reading* THE POEM

This is a historical poem based on the story of "Jonah" from the Bible.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the story was worded in such a way to reach a wide audience from children to adults.

*Star* STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem. There are 3 lines in a stanza and the first two lines rythme.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest an edit for punctuation.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

Suggestion mentioned above. The structure of poem lends itself to wide appeal. It tells a story and speaks to the heart. Well done.

Reviewed by StephB for the Angel Army

Angel Army Review Bear
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Review by StephBee
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

In The Shadows engages the reader by discussing the art of President Trump's decision making. Reviewer's Note: I might note that this blog deals with politics and politics can be very divisive. And I'll leave it at that.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked that the topics were ones that everyday people hear about in the news.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a good variety on Trump's issues that he's dealt with since coming to office.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest expanding the blog intro just a tad more. You could nicely tie the title into the blog entries. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.
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Review of What's Genny For?  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

What's Genny For? engages the reader through personal stories and topical discussions.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked that the topics were heartfelt. I especially liked the one about money and being a Christian.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage. I posted several times on topics.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a good variety on topics from homeschool, to rants, to baking.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set a tone/mood for your blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.
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423
423
Review of Melting Snow  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE BLOG

Melting Snow engages the reader by responding to prompts from Blogging Circle of Friends, Blog City, and 30 Days of blogging.

*Smile*WHAT I LIKED

I liked the poetry that was infused with the entries.

*Star* ENGAGING

The blog invites the reader to engage.

*Star*VARIETY

There was a good variety of discussion on blogging prompts.

*Star*EXPRESSIVE

The blog was easy to read. The blogging had a spiritual theme to it.

*Star*MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes, but then when it comes to reviewing blogs, I'm a bit more liberal.

*Star*PARTING THOUGHTS

Good use of graphics in the introduction to set the theme and mood of the blog. I enjoyed visiting your blog. *Smile*

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall Blogging Contest.
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Review of Song of May  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LYRICS

The lyrics evoke what nature is like in the month of May.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I liked that the lyrics captured the heartbeat of May as spring fully comes into it's own.

*Star* CREATIVITY

The theme of the lyrics involve nature. I thought they were very creative and full of imagination.

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

If anything, I think they look more like a poem then lyrics. I can hear more iambic pentameter in my head as I read. *Smile* Write on!

Reviewed by StephB from the Bard's Hall

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Review of Amazing Ken  
Review by StephBee
In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Note1* My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

*Reading* THE LYRICS

The lyrics speak about the all the amazing things Ken does on WDC.

*Idea* WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the lighthearted tone of the lyrics.

*Star* CREATIVITY

I liked how the song was about a member of WDC. Very creative!

*Star* MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The lyrics are easy to read.

*Star* PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I just can't imagine this sung to "Amazing Grace." *Smile* I hear something a bit more up tempo and lighthearted.

Reviewed by StephB in the Sandbox

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