My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
WRITINGS IN THE SAND
The blog was active about 6 months out of the year in 2020. The blog focused on personal/entertainment type musings from the author. Any posts having to do with Coffee was a big hit with me.
ORIGINALITY
I liked the every day musings. It allowed readers to connect to the blog.
ORGANIZATION
The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.
GRAMMAR/SPELLING
I didn't spot any real isuses. I liked how the entries took on a conversational tone.
CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS
The blog had nice focus on personal, whimsical thoughts. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much.
VARIETY
Discussions were varied and well thought out. The theme of the blog, "emotional/personal" tied all posts together.
ACTIVITY
There was good engagment on the posts.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The introduction establishes a theme, but I might suggest using a graphic to lure more readers in.
This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE BLOG
THESE ARE MY JOT-TINGS PART 2
The blog was active all of 2020. The blog used WDC prompts, for example, ""Rhythm and Rhyme Challenge."
ORIGINALITY
The replies to the prompts were very orginal and well thought out. I also liked how the author used different poetry forms from hiakus to sonnets.
ORGANIZATION
The blog was very organized and it was easy to find the entries.
GRAMMAR/SPELLING
I didn't spot any real isuses. Good use of WDC ML.
CONTENT/CLARITY/FOCUS
The blog had a fantastic focus on poetry. The content on all the blog entries I reviewed was spot on - not too little, not too much. I also liked their was a spiritual theme throughout. On several of the hiakus, I appreciated the nature theme.
VARIETY
In regards to the variety content, what I liked was the various forms of poetry the author used.
PARTING ACTIVITY
There wasn't as much activity/engagement which was a bit of bummer because the poetry was well written and engaging.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The introduction was engaging. Good use of graphics, WDC ML and inspirational quotes.
This Blog is nominated for a 2020 Quill Award. Good luck in the Contest!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
Something happened to Cupid's bow so now it causes decay and darkness.
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: UGLY. Cupid's good intentions have caused toxicity, decay, darkness and damning the lovers to hell and purgatory. That's rough.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem that doesn't have a rythme scheme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems to come off a bit misdirected at the couple and not on him.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
Cupid's arrow clearly wasn't tipped in St. Valentine's elixir because Beau can't get nowhere with Rose.
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: BAD. Cupid plucks in vain.
I liked the story of Beau and Rose. This just wasn't their Valentine's Day.
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with 8 two line stanzas. The lines in each stanza rhythm.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
While intentionally bad things happen to Beau, Cupid's slam (he plucks in vain) seems to come off a bit easy.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
Who needs Cupid when you have Tinder?
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: UGLY. I especially liked: "So put on some clothes, don't flash your ass, go on a diet, at least show some class."
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem with 2 stanzas and each line in the stanzas rythming.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Well done intentionally ugly Cupid's slam.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
Thank you for entering the Bard's Hall Cupid Slam Contest for FEB 2021. Since this is a unique contest, here is what I'm looking for:
Must slam that beastly little arrow-flinger, CUPID!
Must be Poetry Only, any form or free verse -- doesn't matter so long as it's just plain AWFUL!
Line Count up to 60 or fewer. Place line count at the bottom of the poem.
This poetry entry MUST be written for this contest, February 2021! If it's a leftover slam from another time and place it will be disqualified.
Remember that "bad poetry" doesn't mean just misspellings. We are looking for the really creative kind of "bad" that makes us cringe and groan over its terribleness!
A ONE-STAR RATING is the ultimate goal, here. We will award the "best" one-starred poems as the winners.
And now... onto the review....
THE POEM
Cupid gets chewed out for his choice in "love interests."
WHAT I LIKED/AKA CUPID SLAM aka GOOD, BAD, or UGLY:
SLAM: BAD. Cupid missed and gets cussed out but we only hear his side of the conversation.
I liked the line: "The only thing you'll get is brown bows and rose rust."
STRUCTURE
This is a free form poem that has a AABB rythme scheme.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
While intentionally bad, Cupid's slam seems a bit tame to me.
Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall FEB 2021 Contest. Line count was not listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
Princess Griselda desires to find her brother despite her world's cold challenges and evil wizards.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the opening. I thought it was very engaging.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person limited in Griselda's point of view. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Good job with dialogue tags.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might tap into the five senses, especially smell and touch to heighten the descriptions of Griselda's world.
SETTING
TIME: unknown
PLACE: cold, rural setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader. Time really isn't essential to the broader context of the story.
CHARACTERS
Griscelda
There's enough here to understand her motivations, she stays true to wanting to find her brother. I thought the brother changed his motivations too quick at the end and it didn't feel natural to him, so I would on his character being a tad more consistent.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation. You use exclaimation points a lot which makes the story feel a little melodramaic.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. Good imagination to create Griselda's fantasy world. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A child is looking for a kind face after escaping horror.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the ending. It offered hope in the face of a tough situtation.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately. I might suggest a line break between the 4th and 5th paragraphs when the character POV shifts.
DIALOGUE
There's one line of dialogue which accents the narration. I might suggest using quotes=" and not ' for the dialogue.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes.
SETTING
TIME: modern day
PLACE: side of the road
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Josie
There's enough here to understand her motivations; she's looking for a safe haven.
MECHANICS
I might suggest a minor edit for spelling and punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. A creative take on the picture prompt. A suspenseful vignette. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
A thought provoking poem about loss.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the poem grew naturally shorter and shorter until the ending. It added to the meaning to the poem; as life got shorter and shorter.
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
subtle yet effective. Examples:
Green grass is gone to stay
Memories hang in icy air.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I thought the title encouraged the reader to mull on the meaning. Expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
The poem describes a winter scene in all it's cold beauty.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the words used to describe the outside:
gnarled trunks
willowy branches
pale, dull, lazy, reluctant mid-day sun
STRUCTURE
This is free form poem. There is no rhythming pattern.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's a lot of nice, succinct word play. See above for descriptions. I think the poem paints a vibrant, chily, picture that puts reader nose-to-nose with the window.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I thought the title matched the poem. Very expressive. I have no suggestions for improvement. Line count was listed in accordance with the contest rules.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LETTER
A poignant look at how COVID has turned the letter writer and a nation around in it's response.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the conversational nature of the letter. It describes life and how one has readjusted to COVID and it's restrictions.
TONE
Nervously serious. There's a lot going on, a lot of uncertainity and the tone of the letter does a nice hinting at that.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. If anything I might suggest a bit more paragraph spacing to make it easy on the eyes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. The letter touches on good and bad. It rambles a bit, but contains a lot of heartfelt emotion. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LETTER
A heartbreaking look at watch COVID did to 2020.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author communicated in a way to really touch people. A lot of people had similiar struggles and can totally identify with the struggles and challenges.
TONE
Poignant. The author tells a personal story how COVID forced changes we all can identify with.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. The letter is honest, full of emotion and to the point. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LETTER
A nice overview of how 2020 started out and how the writer adjusted to the ups and downs of a bumpy year.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the letter chronicled the year and broke down what happened month by month.
TONE
Matter-of-fact. The letter is easy to read and understand.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. The letter is conversational and draws the reader in. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE LETTER
A heartfelt letter to 2020 including the good, the bad, and ugly, ah, weird.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the conversational nature of the letter. I liked how the letter poked fun, yet made a point. For example: "Chocolate, on he other hand, can be used to bribe the zombies."
TONE
Lighthearted. I liked how the body of the letter touched on all points, the good, the bad, and weird of 2020.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
The opening engages the reader. The letter is succinct and to the point. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the Bard's Hall contest.
A poor turkey doesn't realize he's not a guest at Thanksgiving, he's the meal!
WHAT I LIKED
This poor turkey was clueless! Good job making a poem from limerick stanzas.
STRUCTURE
A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. An entertaining turkey trot! Well done!
A turkey seems oblivious to his plight, which, honestly, is a not a good thing. He has no idea what's going to happen...
WHAT I LIKED
Very creative! You capture the poor bird's lack of knowing well.
STRUCTURE
A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A great way to weave in some Swedish. Well done!
3 Limericks, 2 turkeys, and a chef fill the house with the ambience of Thanksgiving.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the trifecta! Three great stories about Thanksgiving, turkeys, and a chef.
STRUCTURE
A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation. Good use of WDC ML.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. Very creative. Well done!
A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation. Good use of WDC ML.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. Great storytelling in four lines with an added chuckle. Well done!
A couple of turkeys get their revenge on Thanksgiving.
WHAT I LIKED
I loved the revenge in the form a stink bomb and hard drumsticks. I thought this was a very imaginative limerick that fit the prompt well.
STRUCTURE
A limerick is a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse rhyming aabba. There is a 33223 beat pattern. Good job capturing the essence and beat pattern of a limerick.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. Good job with punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I have no suggestions for improvement. A sinfully delicious revenge that made me chuckle. Well done!
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
The family likes to hunt, but then the invaders come.
WHAT I LIKED
The story is short, concise and straight to the point.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the third person omniscent. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's no dialogue.
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. I might suggest tapping into the five senses. Pull the reader into the scene by engaging the senses.
SETTING
TIME: modern day?
PLACE: urban setting?
This is something that is not defined but could be clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
Unnamed narrator
There's enough here to understand their motivations. They need to hunt.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
I might try fleshing this vingette out a little more. I got a werewolf/vampire vibe. The opening needs to be reworked to define the family better. Are they wolves? People? Vampires? Witches? Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
An amnitronic and his friends are sent to battle an alien demon on Halloween.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the madness! The chaos! The Halloween costumes of the good guys! This was a fun, entertaining read, though it was a bit out there.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the first person by "Ty Cobb." Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.
DIALOGUE
There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. I would suggest an edit for dialogue tags. Use only "he said" or "she replied" in tags to identify the speaker only, if you have to. Put action in a seperate sentence. Put the action first, then the dialogue.
FOR EXAMPLE, AS WRITTEN: I barked, "Direct your attack on the witch."
MY SUGGESTION: I pointed toward the sky. "Direct your attack on the witch!"
DESCRIPTIONS
There's enough to set the scenes, but this is something that could be expanded on. What does the battle zone smell like?
SETTING
TIME: near future
PLACE: urban setting
This is something that is clarified for the reader.
CHARACTERS
"Ty Cobb"
There's enough here to understand his motivations. He's there to fight the alien demon.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling mistakes. I might suggest a minor edit for punctuation.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. The opening engages the reader. I loved the creativity and imagination behind the story. Word count was listed in accordance with the rules. Good luck in the contest.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/sgcardin/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.66 seconds at 12:44pm on Sep 27, 2024 via server web2.