\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/nixie9/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
3,620 Public Reviews Given
3,659 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review of Decomposition  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Reviewing "Decomposition" Open in new Window.
Erika

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
As I read "Decomposition" thoughts ran through my head, mingling with yours. It seems we have a similar outlook. I want to be cremated, not buried in a box. Your take on dying was extremely poetic, an excellent rendition of how you'd like to be consumed by the earth.

Otherwise, although now impossible, I'd like to be placed in a tree where I can decompose naturally, allowing nature to take its course. As did the Native Americans.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
This line made me ponder over how our bodies reunite with the earth, fingers as tree roots, giving back, when normally humans only take.
Perhaps I'd grow small green fingers
between the ivory ones..."

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I really liked the closing lines. The thought of being trapped inside a body is spot-on, especially if one's body image doesn't match how the person feels inside.

*AsteriskG* Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
52
52
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Reviewing "And They Call us Children" Open in new Window.
Elby Wordsmith

*Mushroombr*Overall Impression
I'm sad to say "And They Call us Children" struck a deep chord within me. In this poem, we listen to the children's perceptions, and they are valid. Not all parents treat their kids this way.

They don't weaponize them, rather they agonize over what their children must be feeling, and wonder how to explain the break-up. At this very moment, one of my daughters is going through this tragedy. The situation is untenable, with no way to escape in sight.

*Mushroombr* Favorite stanza?
Although all the stanzas were provocative and heart-wrenching, the 11th stood out to me as the best—the 'kids caught in a cage' was especially moving.

Although free verse has no rules, some of the stanzas differed in syllables enough to be a distraction. Now, reviewers have made the same remark regarding my free verse poems. Sometimes I'm resentful, but at other times, I reflect. I'm only passing on some advice I received. Take it for what it's worth. I never changed any of my free verses.

*Mushroombr*
Oops
A few mistakes gave me pause, but nothing so significant so as to cause me distress.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I mentioned a few mistakes here and there, but they were pronounced in the final stanza, which was a real shame. The poem had so much to offer and reflect upon, I was upset to see it end in this fashion.

Otherwise, well done. The author brought the reader straight into the dilemma with their words and thoughts.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
53
53
Review of Survival  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Reviewing "Survival" Open in new Window.
bas

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
A desperate story about the unlikelihood of a rescue after (hiking?) partners fall into an animal trap, draws the reader in from the first line. Good job. The desperate situation escalated as the vultures lurked. This effectively showed the reader just how awful Jeannie and Sid's plight was. The two were definitely on the brink of dying.

It sounds as if they were both caught in the same trap. How would that be possible? If they were so badly injured, how could they climb out with the help of a rope, tossed down by friends?

*Asteriskg*
Oops
For anniversary reviews, as they are for celebrating, I don't specifically point out all the individual mistakes I encounter. Summing up the mishaps, here's a few. Punctuation belongs inside quotation marks. Commas and periods are missing. Jeanie's name is misspelled in places. Okay, that's all I'm typing.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Nice tie-in with the shouting "Get lost" directed at the vultures, when it was the friends coming to rescue them.

Reminder, I am but one person with an opinion.

Nixie
R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
54
54
Review of Siblings  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Reviewing "Siblings" Open in new Window.
👼intuey


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Siblings" was a relatable poem for me. I grew up with three brothers, and a sister, who died when she was thirty. Each brother had different impacts on my life. My protector and now best friend was the oldest. The middle brother terrorized me, and not in a funny or teasing way, my youngest brother annoyed me.

Unlike the brother in this poem, he didn't want to bust in on all my escapades with friends, thankfully.

No laughing, but in the beginning, and at other moments (especially being chased with a broom) I thought maybe this story was about a dog. Eventually, I abandoned my misconception.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I've never heard of a 'list poem' so I appreciated the explanation. Without that clarification, I was mystified by the formatting.

You knocked this challenge out of the ballpark. Well done.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
The second stanza made me feel better. The first lines were a total reversal as opposed to prior experiences. Those memories were palpable for me, as I imagined the crunch of shared popcorn, and the mutual appreciation of a movie.

The closing stanza turned everything around again, and that was the clincher to the success of your poem. I enjoyed every minute while reading this. At the conclusion, a twist in the literal sense. Well done!

*AsteriskG* Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
55
55
Review of Friday Nights  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

Image #1585921 over display limit. -?-


Reviewing "Friday Nights" Open in new Window.
Barefoot Bob

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Fantastic first paragraph that insured my continued interest.

I liked how closely "Friday Nights" summed up a teenager's obsession and fear as they observed one girl. The 'clasping a Pepsi' brilliantly demonstrated this person's position as a wall-floor. I've been there myself. Not in silent admiration, more in fear and lack of self-confidence, hope singing in my brain, waiting for someone to notice me.

*Asteriskg*
Nit-picking
While allowing for the author's largess, I was nonetheless distracted by the capitalization of SHE and HER. Those words jumped off the page and nearly spoiled my enjoyment while relating to the story (thus the 4 star ranking). I wish SHE had a name to break up that pattern.

More pickiness. I don't think the Hmmmm added anything of worth to the story. Maybe 'she didn't turn into a salt pillar' as the Bible story related, would have created a stronger, less offensive conclusion. Half-joking here.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
In the end, the reader sees the goddess reduced to someone fat. I understand why this part was included, the HER was reduced in value due to her weight gain. Is that what made her approachable, when before SHE could only be admired from a distance? I found that tremendously sad and slightly offensive.

Otherwise, a splendid read that evoked memories of the distant past. I think my hearing was damaged by sitting so close to the band's speakers.

Nixie
Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
56
56
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Reviewing "Reviewing Advice Forum" Open in new Window.
Lornda

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
First, the page itself looks organized, inviting, and interesting. A lot of information is offered here, yet since it's well-presented, it's relatively easy to follow. A reader may even pick or choose according to the drop down menus that keep the page neat and accessible. The instructions are explicit, most notably informing the reader that we are not offering mentoring.

Even though the article is focused on newbies, any reviewer can benefit from what is offered here.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
The complimentary font colors and the font size make the page pop.

The cover image placed at the top of the forum draws the eye and clearly shows what is to follow. Nice image!

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I'm shocked to find something in your portfolio that I haven't (or could not) review.

If anyone is running a newbie item, perhaps you can ask if your article can be attached. Your work needs to be front and center!

*AsteriskG* Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*
57
57
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Greetings, THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days!. Thanks for entering the contest. It's my privilege to review your story.

Overall impression
Interesting take on the prompt. Two brothers in their fifties, one ready to step away from his family, the other deciding he would use the same tactics and secure the position. His justification? He was older.

Thoughts from the ledge
I never expected to make a negative remark about white space, but the amount in this story broke up the flow.

Connection
I had to laugh when the brothers were discussing who to ask. In my family, I knew what my dad would say 'yes' to and my mom would say 'no' to. And visa versa.

Lapse of attention ▼

A clever take on the prompt that shows the dynamics of a certain family, and the dreams of the brothers.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
58
58
Review of I Am Home  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)

*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*

Greetings, Amethyst Angel 🌼. Thanks for your entry.


The draw
The creepy eye turned me off, and I didn't understand how it related to the plot. The brief description didn't seem to relate, either.

Criteria
Everything looked just right, answering the prompt in an effective way.

The main character
After showing the reader Marie's dismal world and awful husband, you pulled the reader through Marie's plans for advancement. I knew it was too good to be true, but even when Marie learned this, she was strong enough not to return to her former life.

She was an authentic character and easy to like.

The mood
Outstanding and original word choices set the mood, ranging from frustration to exploring, and finally to triumph. Nicely done-tying in the beginning with the end, completing the story arc.

The frosting
Who can resist reading a story with a larger font and plenty of white space? The presentation was flawless.

Parting thoughts
Excellent work here.

Respectively reviewed by
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
59
59
Review of A New Canvas  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, WriterRick Thanks for your entry.
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


*Asterisk* Overall impression
I liked your main character and her ambition to start all over again. She didn't allow doubt from any coworkers to dissuade her.

There was enough sensory output to fill a believable setting. I liked the vibrant details and the implications of the title.

*Asterisk* Suggestions
A larger font would make it easier to read. This review was written using a size 4 font.

*Asterisk* Adherence to prompt
Margaret chooses to leave her 40 year career as a teacher and follow her heart. She has a rough go at first, creating a realistic response to her decision. Through her connections, she successfully pulls off a somewhat painting career.

*Confettir*Stand-outs
"But now, she was writing a new story, one brushstroke at a time."
"Your work has heart. People will connect with it."

*Asterisk* Final impression
A heart-warming story that was calm and understated when writing a story about a change of career. Well done!

Respectively reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
60
60
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Greetings, Prof Moriarty Author Icon. Thanks for your entry. Please remember, mine is but one opinion. I'll be careful with your story.

*Asterisk* Overall impression
This was very much a cultural piece. If I'm correct, women accept abuse from their spouses. I've seen it happen before, but I could be wrong.

*Asterisk* Adherence to prompt
The story doesn't directly answer the prompt. Nudrath orchestrated the change herself. That didn't exactly hit right with my interpretation of the prompt. She's not leaving a job and entering a new situation. Although being married to that man was a job.

*Asterisk* Oops
Show bitterness rather than attach the adverb to a dialogue tag.
“How could the bitch skip her pills!” he thought bitterly.

Use italics to show thinking. How could the bitch skip her pills. For clarification, you could add, 'he thought.'

‘Ok, bitch,” he said with a broad smile.
"Okay, bitch...(missing correct opening quotation marks.)

*Confettir*Stand-outs
With a wicked grin on her pretty face...
This was my favorite visual.

*Asterisk* Final impression
I despised the husband and the sons, effectively shown by you. However, I didn't feel anything for Nudrath. Maybe her actions were bold, but that was it. I hope her new life satisfies her.

Respectively reviewed by
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
61
61
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Greetings, LightinMind. Thanks for your entry.
"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


*ExclaimR* Please remember, my opinion is but one of many.

*Asterisk* Overall impression
Due to the many footnotes, the story lost its steam. I have the feeling that this plot is personal to you, or that you had a similar career. But I could be wrong.

The major problem for me was that I felt nothing, no attachment to the character, nothing to drive the plot forward. The story was rich with details and information, but I didn't learn much about the character, or his struggles.

*Asterisk* Lapse of attention caused repetition.
...stared down into the gully below. It was a 150-foot drop and he could not see if there were rocks beneath the waters of the pool below.

*PointRight* Consider working in some internal dialogue and adding a sense of danger. One example:
Lieutenant Roger Courtney stared down into the gully below. That must be at least a 150 foot drop, and if there's rocks under the water, I'll die.

*Asterisk* Adherence to prompt
There was a career change that worked better for Roger, especially considering his age.

*Asterisk* Final impression
Too many details slowed the plot and stole the excitement of a challenge.

*Checkb* The title of the story is enticing and it sounded like humour. *Checkg* The brief description explains the story. No drama. Characters need challenges and conflicts.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
62
62
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Greetings, Damon Nomad

Thanks for entering

"What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*


Enter the realm
Who was the star in this story? Jerry seemed to be more talked about than actually having a living part in this story. It's tough to write about a writing career. I'd need to know more about Jerry, hear from him more to form an attachment. He only returned to writing because he had promised his wife. Yes, that fits the prompt. but I expected to read something more active.

Walk down the corridors
From the beginning, I expected to read about Clarence's devotion to religion. He found comfort in the Bible, which didn't make much sense.

Dust Bunnies/oops
A confusing sentence
It's interesting what he would explain when people ask him what he had done for a living

Shut the door
I felt sad that Clarence never learned of his success. I wanted that to be a prominent part of the plot. The reader needs to know how the change affected played out in the person's life.

Thanks again for entering!

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
63
63
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wandering Thoughts
Thanks for your entry. "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.
*Shield1* Official Judge's Review *Shield1*



*Tree2*
Overall Impression
"My Life was a Circus" shows the reader your difficulties and triumphs over various changes. Congrats for always landing on your feet, despite the circumstances. I happen to be a fan of short or incomplete sentences because they're powerful. It also brings the reader closer to the author.

Sounds real fair right? *Checkg*

Not being fairly compensated was surely frustrating. When the accounting flipped to the aftermath, I was shocked.

*Tree2*
Room for improvement
*Right* My boss who's role I assumed (whose)

Punctuation
"My Life was a Circus" > no exclamation mark in the title.

At times, the 'story' was difficult to follow. For example, this run-on sentence that is missing a word.

Every year at the end of the tour I was advised that although I did everything (they) asked they could not pay me as much the next year.

Misplaced adverb
For the next seven months I ran flawlessly flawlessly ran

The closing sentence seemed out of place and unnecessary. The reader knows the author has been conveying their personal story through genre picks and needs no reminder that the bio satisfied the prompt.

*Tree3*
Lasting Impression
"My Life was a Circus" left me with a feeling of having something learned. The bio was extensive and presented the author with multiple examples of changing of the times and adaption to adverse or triumphant happenings.

Thanks again for entering this daunting contest.

Respectively reviewed by
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
64
64
Review of The Fourth Child  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~



*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Reviewing "The Fourth Child" Open in new Window.
Octavius Author Icon


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"The Fourth Child" was a story I could really sink my teeth into. I learned about the MC and her surroundings. Most prominent in my mind? Dana liked the solitude her job provided. How many of us can find a job that actually suits us?

What may have been a tasking read of details suited the story just fine. Not too much, not too little. Good job.

The appearance of the small girl was not intrusive or frightening, which was the creature's intent. I picked up on her ability to communicate telepathically, while Dana was a little slow in her understanding.

As usual, humans are depicted as less than others.

*Asteriskg*
Oops
I found several small mistakes throughout that I won't include here because this is a celebration. No need for downers on an anniversary. Nevertheless, if you'd like specifics, please email me. (Mostly what I noticed were missing periods.)

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
The conclusion was beautiful and ethereal, more than just sci-fi. Personally, I consider humans an invasive species, and I was furious that we dug into a planet to provide for us. We take, but do not give. We don't care about what we may be ruining.

A great read with a few lapses of attention.

*AsteriskG* Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
65
65
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Brenpoet Congratulations on your 23 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*Overall impression
Considering the 11 five star ratings, my review and rating will come as no surprise. Still, because death lingers around me, I wanted to read about someone else's experience.

*Mushroombr* The comments
What we remember after a tragic day is often something simple, yet elegant, as expressed in your poem.

I discovered my favorite stanza was the third, the last two lines.
My life was changed forever (not in a good way) when I found a photo from my childhood.

The rhyming pattern was consistent, although all those commas did distract me. I'm not intending to leave specific comments because this is a personal piece, and after all these years, I doubt any suggestions would be appreciated.

*HeartG* Personal connection
Just a few words here. Anymore and the past climbs over the wall they live behind. My dad and my 30 year old sister. I remember throwing roses on my sisters coffin, knowing they would die just like she did.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
You handed me your heart in this prose. Thank you.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
66
66
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi D.B. Congratulations on your 22 years of membership. What an accomplishment. You wrote a review for me, and I like to reciprocate when possible.

*Mushroombr* The hook
Sometimes it's the small things that make a difference. Not everyone remembers to capitalize the correct words, or I've seen titles with a period at the end. So kudos for heeding the rules.

*HeartG* Personal connection
My favorite line was
icicles hang like magical fangs
The simile created a strong visual. I've always admired icicles and never thought of them as fangs.

One year, my now adult, kids trudged around the neighborhood, placing icicles in their little red wagon.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Interesting. A poem/prose with no punctuation, other than a period at the end. Though punctuation does guide the reader, for your piece, I sat back and enjoyed the flow. A larger font is always appreciated. I use 3.5

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I wonder what this prose would look like with a few line breaks?
Now it's time to bestow the five star crown *Crown1* *Star* in recognition for a fantastic write.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
67
67
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Magoo Congratulations on your 18 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*Overall Impression
I had a blast reading about Pluto personified. I'm indignant on behalf of the planet, now a dwarf planet because it's missing one aspect of classification for full status.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Sometimes I come across a humorous piece with a flowing rhyming pattern that simply glides over any obstacles of confusion. The reading may be simple, but it's the personification that brings joy and grins.

The inhabitants of earth need to be blamed for far more than Pluto's accusations. And those accusations are not far off based. I'm totally on Pluto's side. Our scientists can easily be viewed as arrogant in this comedic poem.

When Pluto transmits its' message, I pretend that the anger can be heard throughout the many galaxies. Maybe there can be "The War of Planets" against earth.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Now I've identified myself as truly nuts. Thanks for the laugh today.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
68
68
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Mac Congratulations on your 24!! years of membership.

*Mushroombr* Overall Impression
A firefighter story that educates the reader by specifics.

*Mushroombr* The comments
So, for action/adventure, a whole lot of information has to go out the door.
This is, of course, entirely up to you. For me, rescuing the child was the highlight of the story, but his heroic action was lost in the explanations.

I can't say the details ruined the story because I was interested in the specifics I mentioned. Some of them, anyway. I wanted to feel the rush of adrenaline, but that wasn't possible while I had to read every detail of John getting ready.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
I'm wondering why this is formatted as prose, rather than a short story. A short story would have been much easier to follow.

What was up with adding the paragraph stating John Logan was a volunteer firefighter? It sounded like an add-on, when it could have been stated earlier in the story.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Even though John is only a character, I was impressed by the way the story ended with him not caring about credit given.

Please take no offense. Mine is but one opinion.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
69
69
Review of Understanding  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Dragonfly Congratulations on your years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
Overall, I think this piece is a fantastic way to recognize and process emotions.

*Mushroombr* The comments
The visuals are strong, and even though you wrote this for yourself, I bet many can relate to it. Under the heading "I'm tired" all emotions coalesce and each has a spot in your 'vision', for lack of a better word. Once that is established, the piece proceeds to the finality of acceptance.

*HeartG* Personal connection
I don't get angry very often, but if I do, watch out. It's interesting that most humans portray anger using the colour red.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
There are several places that need editing. Here's a few for your consideration. I'm not pointing out all of them. *Wink*

Suggestions ▼

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I sometimes count to calm myself. Generally, to the beat of eight and then repeat. I also play a mind alphabet game to distract myself.

Finding a way to deal with inner thoughts is challenging. I hope writing yours helped you. 'Exhaustion' is the feeling I'm left with.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
70
70
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Redtowrite Congratulations on your 19 years of membership. *Confettir*

*Mushroombr* The hook
The unusual title grabbed my attention and I fixated on it, skipping the brief description, which worked in my favor.I could explore the plot unassisted.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Cassidiy was a real person in this story, fully developed with strengths and weaknesses. She had the courage to check out the past, and the wisdom to know when to withdraw. In fact, I picked out this sentence because it was unexpected and showcased her practical and astute mind.

“I feel sorry for your wife.”

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
The opening paragraph/sentences are crucial to engaging the reader. That first line needs some work for clarity. For example: this is a comma splice, separating the subject from the verb.

Donny Lamont, was once her future...

Marked in quotations, this phrase means she's talking out loud. Italics are one way to show inner thoughts. “the only guy I will ever love.”
the only guy I will ever love.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
We watched Cassidy as she grew from a frightened teen to a mature woman who knew what she wanted from life.

The formatting is off. Perhaps this was written in another program and copy/pasted here where formatting can occur.

Donny was a jerk.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
71
71
Review of I fall...  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Princess Zelda. Congratulations on your 19! years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
There were two draws for me. First, I liked the title, secondly, this is the first 'shape poem' I've ever read.

*Mushroombr* The comments
The few reads I spent were well worthwhile when the ah-ha moment arrived. Such talented and beautiful work.

*HeartG* Personal connection
I tend to hold back my tears, but as expressed here it's best to release them. Years ago, I was fascinated by the fact that all tears have different chemicals, depending on the reason for crying.

Sometimes, I hold my tears in for so long, that when I say, okay, let go, I can't cry. Then it's time to watch a movie that makes me cry, but that never works because I'm not crying for the right reason.

Right now, I'd like to sob over my current situation, but so far, no tears will fall.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
My clumsy review is so exquisitely and concisely expressed here, I'm humbled. The form 'forms' an exact tear, and the idea of letting go is such an important message. There's all forms of letting go, especially if one thinks they can control anything that's happening to them. We have control over our emotions and that's it. Tears are treasures we often dismiss.

Fantastic work, more than worthy of a Quill.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
72
72
Review of June 15--Dog  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Nikola- pray for Texas. Congratulations on 21 your years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
I knew this would be a difficult read, but the callousness of the operators was appalling. I've seen dogs dumped from a car into a parking lot, but never so many as in this story. I hope this isn't non-fiction.

*Mushroombr* The shout out
She had kind eyes and smelled like home.
The story is heavy with aromas, well, stink, deservedly so. The line above was my favorite.

*HeartG* Personal connection
On three different occasions, we adopted dogs from shelters or puppy mills. The first was adorably kind, until it raced toward one of my kid's friends, straight for the throat. I got there on time, thank goodness. The next was horribly sick, but the 'owner' had masked its illness with medicines. When he began bleeding at the nose, I returned him and was accused of not giving him meds. She hadn't given me any.
The same woman sold a dog to my daughter, emphasizing that it was okay around cats. The dog killed the cat.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Oh, just the usual. A larger font is easier to read. This review was written with a 3.5 font size.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
This is truly an upsetting story, but one with a happy ending that doesn't quite balance out the injustices.

Happy anniversary. *Balloonr*

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
73
73
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image for anni reviews


Hi QueenOwl ~ A New Day Dawns. Congratulations on your 11 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
With so much fraud in the air, no one can let their guard down. I check my bank account every few days, and only a few days ago I found an unauthorized charge.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Your plight is so awful and incredible, it's almost hard to believe. Never, ever, give out information, and definitely don't react if you're feeling pressured. I don't trust Staples, either. They scammed me with their exclusive virus protection.

*HeartG* Personal connection
I'm excellent at detecting scammers. I also have my phone set to send calls not on my contact list directly to voice mail. From there, I can read the transcription and hear the other 'agents' squawking at potential targets.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
After all the years, the tiny corrections needed are no longer relevant, so I won't point them out.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Right now, I'm super mad that people took advantage of you. Watch out for Amazon, too. I gave something I bought a low, well-deserved rating. I was contacted via my personal email, which no one should have, and asked to change my rating to a 5 star and receive a $25 GC in return. Then came the sob story...we're just a small business, blah, blah. The seller had over 5,000 5* reviews. They contacted me three times. Note to self: report this type of activity to Amazon.

I don't think I have to add a word of caution here. The matter seems over and done with. I've been urged to purchase something...stock is running low...from a website, and five minutes later, a $200 charge appeared. I called immediately, did the run-around, and had my account credited. Sheesh. What a world we live in.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated withMerit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
74
74
Review of Tom's ghost story  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Arakun the twisted raccoon Congratulations on your 18 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
I tried writing for a campfire only once, because I inadvertently ended the story. I was so embarrassed, I never tried again. I was happy to stumble across yours so I could read a successful entry.

*Mushroombr* The comments
You kept me enthralled by using the appropriate dialect. That precision added layers to the story. Even though there were no actual descriptions, I built the men in my head, according to the way the story unrolled.

I had to laugh at the dismissal of your character Bill. I bet it made your job easier, only having to manipulate one. We didn't need to hear from Bill and I don't blame the brother for leaving. He had good reason to.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
*AsteriskG* Larger font, please.
*AsteriskG* How did the brothers survive the cold in the basement? Sure, no wind, but a basement is in the ground and freezing.
*AsteriskG* I'd prefer not to see (cracks) fully capitalized.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I wonder what the secret is to writing a campfire entry. Yours fell right into place. The plot, with a few added details, could serve as a stand-alone story. And that, I'm guessing, is how a campfire story works.

The last line remained as colourful as the story, and gave me a little laugh. Very clever.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
75
75
Review of The Bradbury  Open in new Window.
for entry "Young Love" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image for anni reviews


Hi Anni Pon Congratulations on your four years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
I was curious about The Bradbury, so I took a peek at this entry. I didn't learn about The Bradbury, but I did learn something about the author.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Oh boy, I can see this drama playing in the homes of so many teens and parents. Controlling a wild child is like controlling chaos. We choose our battles.

When I read that the mom was in the Heraklion region, I found my first clue, and nearly missed it. Without that foreshadowing, the plot could have unrolled in any time or place. Great job!

I continued reading in perplexed wondering, especially after reading
"No woman is worth risking your life."

*HeartG* Personal connection
OKay, a bit of a weird connection here, but I remember my son knocking a painting off the wall as he stormed down the hallway, his head full of teen anger.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Just, wait--” I
Use ellipses to show pause or hesitation. Use{emdash} to show interruption.

He slammed the door to his room so suddenly I had to step back. Teenagers.
If only his door had a lock on the outside. I could keep him here, safe.
I suspect there is a formatting issue because there's a paragraph break after the word "Teenagers."

*Mushroombr* Final observations
I'm having a hard time not giving away the twist at the end. My eyes widened. What a creative story you've penned.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,532 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 62 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/nixie9/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3