Nixie 🦊 out sick's (nixie9) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

3,620 Public Reviews Given

3,659 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.

I'm good at...

Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.

Favorite Genres

Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy

Least Favorite Genres

Historical

Favorite Item Types

Short stories, novel chapters

Least Favorite Item Types

essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment

I will not review...

XGC,

Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing,

I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.

201

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14 days may be credited.

#4761460

Review of Pocket Size Stories

for entry "The Perfect Story"

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Amethyst Angel 🌼. I've come across your pocket stories once again, this time to wish you~

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

You have so many stories in this book item to choose from. I landed on this one because the title puzzled me. Who wrote a perfect story?

Overall, I enjoyed it for the pleasure of experiencing the scene. The rain emphasized the coziness of the library. Beth's relative age could be easily discerned from the book she was asking for. Do libraries still have card catalogues?

Are you interested in creating more unique names, other than Beth and Jane?

It was easy for me to relate to your story (that is always my dream when I write) because of my past.

Libraries were a favorite hangout of mine. In days gone by, I brought all three of my children to the library every Saturday. They each had their own library card, which meant bringing home thirty books to read over the week. We returned again and traded those in for another thirty. If we had a favorite, that book was renewed.

In only a few sentences, I read about the entire span of Beth's lifetime, from a young child to an adult. Her middle life was unexplored and not necessary. We learned what she'd been doing when the story concluded.

I always dreamed that one of my kids would take after me (not that I'm published) but it never happened.

Jane must have been ecstatic to meet the 'seedling' she encouraged with only a few simple words. The upbeat tone of the story left me with a smile. Thanks for the story and the poignant memories it provoked.

Respectively,
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

202

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14 days may be credited.

#4761164

Review of On Butterfly Wings

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Whitney

HAPPY 5th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Love poems often frustrate me because the same theme is often expressed over and over again. The main point being love is perfect and one person cannot live without the other. That's not to say it's impossible. I imagine it takes patience and perseverance, and much more.

Years and years ago, I learned about codependency and once my eyes were opened, I could hardly stand to listen to any love songs. That's the reason I was so happy to read your poem. The theme echoes with the time-honored phrase, 'if you love someone, let them go'.

My parents were married for 67 years, which could have been inspiring had they not hated each other. My mom was passive/aggressive and sometimes cruel.

As for me, I tried marriage twice and I no longer see the point. The dissolution of a marriage is costly and bitter. The one sticky point is if the couple have kids.

Many say it's still better to leave, to set an example for them. Kids know when their parents don't belong together, and it's stressful for them.

As for the poem itself, I liked the free-flowing rhymes. The lack of punctuation allowed me to set my own pace. However, consider ending the last line with a period.

I have only one little stickler. Why capitalize the first letter of every phrase if it's an ongoing thought? I've included this question in other reviews, but no one responds to that point. I chalk it up to 'writer's largess'.

The last phrase in the second stanza rings true. No decision should be made when one is in a state of fear. Unless a life is in jeopardy. 'Butterfly wings' is a bit overdone, but that's okay if the words came from your heart.

Overall, I found the poem to be insightful and wise.

Respectively,
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

203

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14 days may be credited.

#4760920

Review of Drawing Down The Moon

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi April Desiree-I'm back!. Welcome back, just in time for...

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Confession: I've never read a 'witch' story before and surprised myself by finishing yours. The title compelled me, although I didn't see the relation in regards to the story. I googled the title, and while the story is not completely in agreement with the description, it still works. Besides, who would want to give up a title like that?

I learned that "Drawing Down the Moon" is also the title of a book written by Margot Adler.

You nailed the action opening. We met the MC and the conflict was established. Iris' true identity was only revealed in the disturbing conclusion. Throughout the story, I imagined Iris as the 'good' character escaping evil.

Since witch stories are not my thing, I had to look up maladanti magic. I waited until after reading the conclusion, and by understanding that word the story clicked.

Question: Why didn't the crows alert Iris when the coven was closing in on her? What was the rope for? Apparently, my research wasn't through enough.

This was a puzzling story for me, but I still enjoyed reading it. And I like to learn new things. Keep on writing.

Respectfully,
Nixie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

204

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14 days may be credited.

#4760883

Review of Is loss a gain

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi knight life

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Now here's a poem to ponder for the afternoon. The first and second stanzas feel like the end of romance, but from every ending a beginning is born.

Stories about marriages failing after a tragedy abound. Partners can no longer look each other in the eye without reliving the traumatizing event. This poem had a different take. A beautiful rendition.

For even in loss, there's a flicker of grace

From my POV, the poem wasn't realistic based on my life experiences. Still, it's a fantastic feeling to believe once love is entrenched it can morph into something different, something that has deep roots strong enough to hold the couple together.

That theme is eloquently expressed beginning with stanza three.

The rhyming scheme was easy to follow, except for one bump in the last phrase in stanza five. (Lost) doesn't rhyme with (above).

Consider editing the title to correct the capitalization.

Is Loss a Gain

Thanks for allowing me into your Dreamland. If it's your desire, keep writing about love despite doubters like me.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

205

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14 days may be credited.

#4760647

Review of I told her not to open it !

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi ~Sue~

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

What a funny and quirky story. I have to appreciate the originality. Spiders are creatures from some alien planet, and they terrify me. I've seen spiders as huge as my hand, which is what I was picturing. But the spider fit in a matchbox, and I was okay with that.

One time, as a kid, I slept in the bedroom hallway because I saw a spider.

I would enjoy this story more if there wasn't a plethora of exclamation marks distracting me. The title also needs editing, using proper capitalization and deleting the exclamation mark.

The setting was so unfamiliar, yet you wrote about it in a way that allowed me to visualize the scene. After the catch, I cringed at the words about the spider trying to kick itself free. Ugh. A visceral feeling shot through me-sick to my stomach.

I kinda feel sad for the spider trapped in a box until it died, had Liz followed the instructions.

Excellent ending paragraphs for the conclusion- switching POV without a hitch by allowing the mischievous character to speak through hearsay. Since her other exploits were mentioned, it would be great if the MC had a name (unless I missed it).

For me, this story fits two genres. Comedy and horror/scary. I liked your writing voice and reading this offbeat story. Keep writing.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

206

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14 days may be credited.

#4760169

Review of SURPRISE!!

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi Molly

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Writing a one-hundred word story was quite the challenge.

The middle paragraph was the most absorbing. The imagery reflected the sad and tragic plot.

I almost wish the brief description had a trigger warning for those who have lost family or friends due to a heart attack. A light dosage of levity felt inappropriate. I guess the story could be identified as 'gallows humour'.

I don't know if the exclamation marks were used to crank up the word count, but I do know they don't belong in the title. There's quite a proliferation of them scattered throughout, which I found distracting.

'How frightening' could be expressed through a character's actions.

In the conclusion, 'She thought' as a separate sentence isn't necessary. Suggestion: Choose either italics or a sentence tag.

You're a long time member and still writing! That's awesome.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

207

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14 days may be credited.

#4760142

Review of Flight to Drake Passage.

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Petra Pansky

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

You got me. Although the entire plot was strange, I never anticipated the conclusion. Nicely done.

In retrospect, the pilot's announcement and the brochure information created the foreshadowing I interpreted differently. In my imagination, the point of the flight was to avoid all the hazards mentioned. The offer of medication was a thorn in my brain, one that kept me on my toes. And free food? Hmm...my hackles of suspicion rose.

One pitfall of writing in first person POV is the overuse of (I). Nowhere else did I encounter the distraction, other than the opening paragraph, which was kind of a shame. I'd already committed to reviewing this story, but feared the entire sentence structures would all be the same. Once in a while, I like being wrong.

I see no reason to punctuate the compelling title. I've noticed this in other stories, too.

Double whammy at the end. I won't write any spoiler alerts here, but I thought the second to last line would conclude the story arc. And then I read the last one.

Thank you for the fantastic presentation, which made your story a pleasure to read. The unorthodox plot was excellent. I'm always curious to see how much an author can twist the conclusion, and yours was one of the best I've read in a while. Keep writing.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

208

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#4759998

Review of Pocket Size Stories

for entry "The Flying Roses"

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Amethyst Angel 🌼 Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024"

I'm compelled to comment on the folder name, because it's a perfect fit for what lies within. The title is catchy and funny.

I've wondered what a drabble was; the whole concept was a puzzle to me, yet you pulled off a triple with flair. According to my research, one of three requirements is to convey humour. The funny aspect was subtle, but came through in small actions.

I'm not trying to sum up your work, but it's the only way I can show my reactions.

In the first drabble, I laughed as the band worked to drum up a name. The characters were vivid and believable.

For the second drabble, the reader was indulged in some teenage angst. The situation sounded so familiar, I had to laugh. Both teen personalities were consistent with their age. Does Anna's boyfriend/subsequent husband (partner) have a name? He needs one.

The third drabble circled around to the second, with Anna's boyfriend telling the band members about the window escapade.

I frowned when the line about Paul's guitar showed up. Poor guy, but that sentence was a fantastic portrayal of how the band was faring. Oh, and describing Layla's braids as greying clarified just how much time had passed between the performances.

As for me, I don't like to see members in a band years after their albums were popular. It's too sad and depressing.

I suggest using action, not sentence tags, or punctuation, to convey emotions.
"We couldn't miss you!" Anna enthused.

All writers have to remember to show not tell. I think that 'rule' plays in my head while sleeping, and I still forget sometimes.

The conclusion was gratifying. The characters and the band members fed off each other's excitement. Thanks for the generous spacing and enlarged font. Well done.

~Nixie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

209

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14 days may be credited.

#4759897

Review of The Soundtrack Of Summer Wind

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Norb! Wow, it's been forever since we've crossed paths.

HAPPY 23rd WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Enticing title that is a poem all by itself.

There is no such thing as quickly reading your work. Each line required careful consideration as the prose progressed. The whole picture didn't coalesce until the last line, which paralleled my thinking. Basically there are no beginnings or endings because our experiences all run together.

I expected a love poem, and that misperception was the key to my puzzlement after I read the first two lines. Rather than telling the story of super-love, the prose told a realistic story of how some relationships play out.

My preference is more white space and stanzas. I'm not sure that's appropriate here, as the prose is almost a short story. Or a stream of consciousness.

The repetition of 'the summer wind wasn't our song' was exceptional in the sense of continuity and reinforcement.

'And then it came' was filled with apprehension and a sense of dread, as intended.

Going back to the beginning several times to appreciate each line pleased me. With each reading, the meanings became clearer and more beautiful, in a tragic way. The entire piece was unique and extremely creative. I liked this line the best, although, at present, I can't conjure up a visual.

and the boozy clouds of fallen leaves
Okay, I read this four times over. I'm thinking it's a way to show how summer faded to autumn. I'm still working on 'boozy'.

I'm sad this was a personal experience, but happy that you have the talent to express the pain. I read several other poems, which were also exceptional, but this particular one sang to me.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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210

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14 days may be credited.

#4759575

Review of Internet Upgrade

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi nomlet

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break"

Legly? A grin spread across my face when I read the character's name. I nicknamed my brother Legman.

For a first meet and greet through a review, I have to say the doctor's actions seemed uncalled for and abusive. The nurse could have sued him. But in another paragraph, she sobs against his shoulder. What an inconsistent relationship.

The brief description clearly communicated that the plot revolved around a computer virus. However, I kept envisioning a hospital. The words 'nurse' and 'patient' were the wrenches in the story. Perhaps that was intentional, a way to mislead the reader.

This sentence shows one of a few other scenes where the reader is told about an emotion, rather than seeing it described. Perhaps the doctor could be drawing soothing circles on her back. Although, by the way he smacked her around, he has no compassion, and 'soothing' doesn't belong at all.

"You have to be strong, Legly," soothed the doctor, "for the patient's sake."

Avoid all 'he/she' said tags where possible, and show emotions through actions, not telling.

I don't understand why this sentence is included. The specific location has no bearing on the plot, and it's already been established that the virus will spread.

Even the sleepy town of Taylors, SC would not be immune.

The theme was timely and written effectively. These days, which would be more deadly? A human virus, or a computer virus. I vote for the computer.

** Image ID #2220774 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

211

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14 days may be credited.

#4759514

Review of The Less I Know

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Amethyst Angel 🌼. Nixie here. I had to pop over and read the story that won Max's famous "Tales Shown, Not Told Contest"

I was impressed by the first paragraph as a lead-in. Right away, the reader knows (or at least I did) that Brent had OCD. His panic regarding missing one small detail was keenly experienced.

The tension heightens when his sister goes missing. For a person with OCD, he may have gone into overdrive, needing more rituals to compensate. People like Brent don't fare well when stress is added to their daily lives.

You found several interesting and creative ways to demonstrate the symptoms of this mental illness.

The description of Aurora's apartment was so highly visual, I could have been on a walking tour as you transported the reader from room to room. The starkness stood out, and I wondered if Aurora suffered from the same illness to a lesser degree. Life can be managed easier with few things to worry about. If she had more 'things' in her apartment, maybe Brent wouldn't have noticed the plastic tag. Wow, how did you think of that as the clue that solved the mystery?

Winning Max's contest says it all, but it seems I can't stop myself from typing. The scale of tension built-up at a reasonable level. Slow, to medium, to 'what could have happened'?

Maybe people aren't familiar with OCD, and that's why you went to such great lengths to reinforce the illness. It was a little too much for me. Still, I liked how you showed Tom reacting to Brent's matchstick ritual.

The story ended with a delightful twist, and I got a kick out of the sister's personality. My favorite line was the 'smartphone' reference. That brought a smile. The final line had me questioning my earlier suspicions. Was the soap there because the sister knew Brent used it, or did the sister also suffer? What a fantastic one-liner to wrap up the story. Well done!

Reviewing your work was

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

212

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14 days may be credited.

#4759371

Review of Marooned, Dead or Alive

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Jeff Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

First reaction: I cannot believe you opened your story with that first line. Excellent lead in. And, a pirate ship in space! I wonder what the pirates were stealing? Water, maybe?

It would be fun if the ship had a name. Maybe even one from history. Just sayin'. Working with a word count can be exasperating.

I am vastly appreciative for the presentation. A large enough font so I'm not squinting, and enough white space that prevented a jumble of words from forming.

The 'note to self' seemed 'off' in its position in the story. It threw me into the ice cold ocean of confusion. I wonder if it would work better as the closing sentence?

The word play between the two characters engaged me. Since a full story couldn't be developed, the dialogue was enough to show me what was happening. The captain's personality was enhanced by his inner dialogue.

Do I have to add that my preference for conclusions is fulfilled when the female wins? My two favorite lines. The imagery was vivid.

She moved in close. Uncomfortably close.
and
She patted my cheek affectionately.

Thanks for letting me tag along for the grand adventure.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

213

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14 days may be credited.

#4759181

Review of Auntie Rosie's Magical Flower Stand

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Joto-Kai

Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.

Quick check up

Cover art

Title

genres

Brief description: I prefer these descriptions to be cryptic. But when identifying a story like this that requires broad stretches of imagination, maybe some readers need to double check their impressions.

I'm not sure if my comments will do justice to the story. It was a fantastic read, one of the best in a while. I've never reviewed anything of yours, and I apparently uncovered a genius playing with words, tucked into a portfolio.

This is the kind of story that readers can't resist. At least not this one. I wander towards the side of quirky, so believing the magic in this story was merely a side-step for me.

The descriptions in the story were rich and marvelous. No potholes of empty summation were found here.

In every sentence the story expanded my vision. I learned about all the characters through Gerald's interactions and thoughts. The gypsy's last comment about buying flowers for the wedding made me think of the song Bert Kaempfert's "Red Roses for a Blue Lady'.

Every moment felt special. I experienced the interactions between the flowers, Gerald and the Gypsy as my own.

Observations ▼

Thank you for the adventure. I want to be the Gypsy lady. Except, I'd look tantalizing, which would disqualify me from participating. Everyone knows most gypsies aren't pretty.

** Image ID #2317863 Unavailable **
Reviewed by Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

214

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14 days may be credited.

#4758672

Review of Prompt for June 24, 2024

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi No Sox with Sandals Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024"

Your one sentence almost told a full story. Bravo.

For this review of your one sentence entry, I googled the origin of the expression. I found references indicating that the phrase arose somewhere in the 1800 or 1900 hundreds, possibly for a theater production gone wrong. The audience would throw eggs at the performers. Specifically vaudevilles for comedy routines. I've always known the meaning and it's current usage, but not the expression's origin.

For the remainder of the sentence, I also ran a google search, because I didn't understand it. Apparently, some people have egg-shaped faces, and it's not an attractive feature. People have to accept themselves for how they look. Now that I saw pictures, I'm surprised by my lack of knowledge.

I noted one of the genres was fanfic, and I had to Google that one, too. You really made me work for untangling your one sentence. Good for you!

I'm happy to learn new things, and I was quite impressed once I understood it all.

Now, maybe you already know all this, and that's why this sentence was submitted for the contest. It's quite clever.

Even though the prompt itself had to be specified, showing it as the title was off-putting. You most likely presented it this way for yourself. It's difficult to keep submissions in line.

The inclusion of ellipsis was a puzzle. Did you want to write more?

I've never entered this contest because it seemed an impossible task. Now I've read an excellent one liner.

~Nixie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

215

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#4758600

Review of 103 point 5

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon. Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

What a unique and catchy title.

Music soothes the soul and carries us away. Something desperately needed in moments of frustration.

So many thoughts came to mind while I read and laughed along the way. The lyrical and lilting lines carried the poem smoothly. And with all the expertise and flair, you managed to express yourself so everyone who drives can easily relate.

I imagine reviewers everywhere nodding their heads and chuckling.

During my former 45 minute commute (total 90 minutes) I kept a book in the car and read at the stop lights that controlled the rush. I even had a 'crazy' phase where I pumped my brakes and rocked my car like some kid listening to rap. Anything to relieve the boredom. And, weird as it sounds, I couldn't wait to get to work. The delight may have stemmed from the task of raising three kids.

My favorite parts were the fancy-free moments of the head voices in-between songs. And of all those lines, the red-lipsticked lady stood out from the rest. She wasn't defined as wearing red lipstick, but that image was in my head.

Surprise endings are the best, and yours was brilliant. Since I was playing along with the poem, I never thought about what might be happening outside the car. The 'victim' became the villain.

Thanks for the giggle and the remembrances.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

216

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#4758452

Review of "Don't be silly!"

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi WriterRick. Nixie here. I found your story via the 'read and review' option.

From the top
If I wanted to write a one sentence review, I would type, what a precious children's story. Because it truly is.

Starting at the top: tech observations:

The word (silly) in the title needs to be capitalized.

The exclamation mark and quotation marks don't belong in the title. Simply type the title. Don't be Silly

Off the cuff remarks
Lucy had me convinced from line one that the marbles were magic. Probably because I thought so as a kid, though I never considered them to be transportation devices to another realm. Such a wonderful stretch of imagination defined Lucy's personality.

Sam dove right in there, demonstrating for the reader the close relationship between the two kids. I imagined them as being neighbors and that their friendship began at an early age.

Silly something that I wondered about. I was worried that since the two kids selected different marbles, the possibility existed that their destinations would differ. Luckily, that was not the case. Holding hands was the key.

Were you limited by a word count? I think children would enjoy dialogue and direct action rather than a summation of what was seen when they were transported. Overall, the story could use some more descriptions or details.

Final reflection
The conclusion would be much stronger if the last sentence was dropped. The only reason I can think of regarding its inclusion was that repetition was required for a contest.

This would be a remarkable physical book for children with illustrations added. I can see it in my mind.

Thanks for the frivolity.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

217

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14 days may be credited.

#4757730

Review of The Longest Night

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Adherennium Nixie here. After trading merit badges, I ventured into your portfolio.
We don't share the silly gene, and most of the time I don't understand your Newsfeed posts.

That said, here comes the review.

I hooked on to this story because of my affinity with children. I can't count the number of times I've gone out of my way or undertaken something hopeless to please a child.

Ten million years ago, Cabbage Patch dolls were the rage. They came with their own birth certificates. I never secured one, but luckily, neither of my daughters were overly interested in dolls. The lineup to get a chance at buying one? Ridiculous. And so were those dolls.

The scene is quickly set and the camaraderie between Bob and Mike is immediately apparent. Something that I feel is important to every story is name choice. I enjoy looking for clever or unusual names because names can help define a character. Bob and Mike are too flat and overly generic. Both characters deserved a meaningful or more original name.

Rain and then snow? That is an unbearable weather situation. Great job showing the characters waiting in line. A poignant moment occurred when hot chocolate and coffee was served. And then digging out the car? The worst. In Maine, I worked in a place that was backed by the Kennebec River. While living in NYS, my Camaro was frequently under tons of snow. Both scenes, waiting and digging out cars brought back memories, and I was able to relate to both.

What really confused me was the fact that Mike knew what doll Bob wanted (or so it seemed) but allowed his friend to stand in line when Mike had already bought the doll. It was a sweet ending, but what kind of friend does that to another? Or Mike could have told Bob to open the bonus envelope when he handed it over.

Writing for fast turnaround contests with a w/c limitation is a challenge. Kudos for braving those waters. I swim in them only if the prompt gives me an immediate spark. And I'm not a fast writer. I edit and edit until all the fun is gone. Both Flash and Cramp contests are for people like me. I can't edit over and over, and yet, I still do.

I hope you don't mind me sharing my own experiences. As I said, I wanted to show you how I connected. That, for me, is the most important part of writing. Keep on writing.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4757571

Review of Walking The Tightrope Blindfolded

for entry "My Son Can't Walk!"

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi Tracey. Nixie here. I found your work on the Newsfeed.

This could not have been an easy piece to write. On the other hand, writing is a catharsis for working through troubles. A sick child, especially one who can't walk, is terrifying. Parents are helpless in these situations.

Smart guy, your husband, taking your boy to the candy store. When that experience failed to set your son to walking, all bets were off. Diversion always works in determining the severity of a complaint. My mom used to set us in front of the TV set. I was so sad, thinking she didn't care. Her intention was the same as your husband's. If we could be distracted by watching TV, she'd know we were at least not in dire straits. I wish she'd told me that as a kid.

I'm thinking about SM and SMs's experience with their daughter. One day she complained her legs hurt, the next she was diagnosed with Leukemia.

When my sister was hospitalized for one long stretch of her treatment for Leukemia, the doctors determined a staph infection had traveled to her brain. When I visited her, she was delirious. Eventually, she recovered, but died a few months later.

Oh good grief. It's a blabber-mouth review. The shining star is the fact that your retelling of what happened gave me a chance to think. Even though the memory of my sister was painful to revisit, she died in 1984 so time has lessened the sting.

Your concluding paragraph was profound. I experienced a time when I couldn't walk, only a few years ago. Apparently, I'd had a TMI, a temporary stoppage of blood to the brain, but not so severe as a stroke and no damage. Like your son, after a few days in the hospital, my legs started working again.

During one of my deceased Dad's many hospital stays, he developed staph. It's abundant in hospitals. I'm sorry you endured the same illness, but I'm happy because you're here with us.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4757414

Review of Choke

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Amethyst Angel 🌼 Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024"

First, congrats for entering this contest. There's a lot of competition, and it takes bravery (I'm a coward) to offer up your work for judging.

I liked the premise of the story. The plot built up at a comforting pace, but by the time Jenny noticed the stranger my heart was pounding. You wrote some excellent descriptions of the town, bringing it to life and showing the reader where Jenny lived.

I have a few questions and comments.

The first sentence is confusing. I understand the sun is setting, but the sentence was awkward.

I thought Jenny was returning from an absence, due to the description of the town as she drove. Otherwise, she's driving aimlessly, until she can pull into the driveway of the aging restaurant she and her husband owned. What prompted her?

If Jenny's head is down on the steering wheel, how does she know it's the sheriff pulling into the driveway?

What happened to the old restaurant? Jenny mentioned it being an eyesore. Did she have it demolished, or did she renovate the building?

How can everything on the menu be free, yet she has to manage finances? She's already at the poverty level, how is she making any money? I thought the restaurant would only be giving out free meals on one day, as her husband did.

I would combine the paragraphs regarding Ryan's reappearance. It doesn't make a lot of sense for him not to remember being a veteran, but, in the next paragraph he remembers being in Afghanistan. Why else would a person be there? He can still have amnesia about the past.

I don't think colons are used in short stories anymore. Maybe if there were only one it wouldn't be so noticable.

I learned something about ellipsis while reviewing your story. I thought they consisted of three dots with spaces. But according to my research, they can also be presented without spaces. That was a big shocker for me, especially when they effect word count.

I enjoyed riding around with Jenny and seeing her town. I'm thrilled for her because she did find her husband.

Life won't be easy for Ryan and Jenny. I hope he eventually remembers her, or learns to love her all over again.

OT addition: Thanks for the enlarged font and generous spacing.

The plot works so well, it's worth considering some editing. I know, editing is not fun for anyone. Thanks for the read.

Warm regards,
~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4757232

Review of Soul of the Sea

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi 👼intuey Nixie here. I found your item waiting in my draft reviews.

Initial reaction
I could not resist reading this story because the title hit me with the words 'read me', followed by a punch to the gut.

The brief description is a foreshadowing of your excellent storytelling skills.

Overall Impression
First person POV is the ticket to success for this type of story. The reader is first-hand immersed in the MC's conflict. Using first person POV, a great amount of curiosity was kicked up while the MC slowly discovers the crews' intent.

Without revealing the twist, I'll say what they were looking for caught me by surprise. The plot consistently emphasized the possibility that the MC was delusional. Nicely done.

Every descriptive phrase is a lesson in showing not telling. The entire read was a visceral experience. Problem after problem moved the plot along and increased the sense of dread in my stomach. The manner in which the boat was tossed about made me seasick.

One might guess the main character has to survive, but in your story doubt was cast. The pace never lets up until the MC awakens on the beach. From there, the pace was slowed, which allowed the reader to breathe for a bit. But then the battle for survival began.

Suggestions/the little stuff ▼

That's a wrap
The story deserved a stronger conclusion, but, for the life of me, I can't think of anything else. Perhaps what you wrote was the only possible way to complete the story arc.

Something funny. My next intent was to congratulate you for having won a ribbon. But when I clicked on it, I discovered you'd received it from me, further evidence of the story's power. Slam/dunk, Tracey.

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#1300305 by Maryann

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#4756725

Review of Breaking Things

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi TheBusmanPoet. Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

I struck gold when I came across this little bit of prose. In only a few lines you've captured the cycle of life in a delicate manner. It felt as if I were tiptoeing through the lines, but I can't explain exactly why.

Literally and figuratively, I can relate to both examples of fragility.

From stanza one, I pictured a child in fear. Don't break the breakables. I remember steering clear of anything delicate. There was that one time when I was dancing around a glass coffee table, fell and smacked my head. The table survived. Me? Concussion.

In regards to a different breakage, I thought of my unpleasant childhood, where I never knew what might set off an episode of my mom exploding. The experience broke me. I also endured another trauma inflicted on me by one of my older brothers.

Relating to the second half, every morning I wake up wondering what part of my body will hurt. I worry about falling and breaking a bone. That has happened several times. I worry about being broken due to lack of human contact. I've lived alone for years with no friends and infrequent visits from family.

I liked the guided punctuation that set the two stages of life apart. The two simple periods were as choreographed as a conductor leading an orchestra.

Final reflections? Thanks for the chance to explore my innermost being by reading your words.

Reviewing your work was

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4756587

Review of A Little Trip

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi QueenNormaJean Junesun24hours

Nixie here. Once again, I found your work via the read and review option.

What an unusual read. I'd like to take a trip to Nowhere. Maybe the train never stops and I can just keep on riding.

The simple title is effective because it has more than one meaning. The story could be about a physical trip, or someone tripping over an obstacle, for example. I know this story was written way back when, but the brief description needs to be a description.

The first two lines created confusion. My suggestion would be to begin with the third paragraph. That would set the scene. I was flummoxed by reading about doors. Doors leading to where?

I’ll sit there for a day or so, like a big rock

I liked this line not only because it made me laugh, but because it gave me a hint as to what George looked like. Poor guy, I hope he wasn't stuffed between passengers.

Consider using a larger font for ease of reading.

The story arc was completed with ellipses that left out key words. One could also say that 'doors' were a beginning and end. In the beginning, George and Jane enter through doors. In the end, the doors are shut and locked. Something about that correlation struck me as clever. Was it intentional?

Thanks for the read.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

223

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#4756431

Review of The Mystical Cat

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi 👼intuey. Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024"

.

I would have chosen to review this story even if it wasn't the next in line for our activity. The title alone was enough to make me pounce over here and read.

The title, the cover art, and the brief description all added up to the perfect formula to draw in readers. I wish the cat in the cover art was my own.

The first sentence wasn't an attention-grabber. I wonder what would happen if you chose the second paragraph as the first, and added in the details from the first paragraph there? i.e. Eliminate the first paragraph by combining the second for a catchier beginning. I'm being brutally honest here. A description of the cat was necessary, but, for me, there were too many details.

I liked how the mystery kept me running alongside Clara. Logically, I knew she wouldn't lose the cat, but the story wasn't about a mere chase. The transition caught me off guard. It's not always easy to write scenes like this and make them believable. I was carried away into your mystical land.

But one scene change wasn't enough. The mysticism continued. Astonishing.

It may be worthwhile to take a second look at paragraphs nine and ten. 'Stumbled' is used twice, and I think there's some word economy needed there.

~A kit is a baby fox. It would be cool if the cat were huge, adding to its otherworldliness.

~Can you believe a period at the end of the story was missing?

When I saw this prompt, all that came to mind were the cats I've owned and lost. I had nothing but bad memories in my mind. That's why I'm so appreciative of your take. I feel happy right now. The story is inspirational.

The conclusion was like a sweeping and mood-altering drama. I do have a question. Did Clara use her gifts to help others, or was it only the effect the experience had on her that drew reverence from others? Note: I understand the limitations of word counts.

Overall, an enchanting story.

~Nixie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4756249

Review of Reluctant homecoming

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, Sumojo Nixie here. I found your item via the 'read and review' option.

I enjoyed this story of homecoming. All the strokes were there to present a complete painting. We experienced Michael's emotions and observations as primary. The paragraph about how the house looked could have been a painting. It was that beautiful.

The story builds slowly. While I was dying to know what was wrong with the dad, I took my time reading and didn't skip ahead.

I wavered a bit, trying to keep all the characters straight and then just let it go. I added it all together to visualize a large and happy family.

For some reason, I thought using the Jeep was a bad sign, as if the Jeep was in a state of disrepair and shouldn't be driven. That got me thinking that maybe I'd solved a riddle. Maybe the family was in financial trouble. I was wrong.

The sentence that said it all.
Gee, mum, I never thought having a calm, even-tempered father could scare me so much.“

Thoughts from the ledge ▼

Fantastic job showing the reader a wide view of the family and the dynamics within a limited word count. Other than a few lapses of attention, I felt as if a friend was telling me about this family.
Well done!

Nixie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

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#4756070

Review of Why Self-reviewing is Hard

Review by Nixie 🦊 out sick

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Zen Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.

Your article is bound to attract any writer's attention, due to the despised 'self-reviewing' in the title. Smartly, you follow through in the brief description hinting at an answer, which encourages.

The word (hard) in the title needs to be capitalized. (Hard)

This comprehensive how-to guide addresses a few of the giant boulders that somehow we don't see in the lurking in the words we're thinking of. Or, the problem could be pebble-sized, such as a misplaced or missing comma. Our brains have already gone from the sentence we're looking at to the next one in line.

I haven't seen anyone use the Freudian terms id and ego in forever. They seemed so arcane, I googled the words to refresh my memory. I also enjoyed googling (internecine), but maybe that's a confession I shouldn't have mentioned. Does it reflect on my level of comprehension? It was first known in 1642. The word hits the spot in the sentence, but are other readers confused by it?

I do not like to hear myself speak out loud, so that technique doesn't work for me. I generally find mistakes after my piece is completed here and then read it on my phone.

Great job summing up a difficult task. One of the most important parts is the need for word economy. Your POV sheds light on some possible pitfalls. I liked the part about writing rubbish. Not worrying about perfection on the first go-round is liberating.

The structure of the work is sound and easy to read. White space is integral to the presentation. I felt comfortable with the formatting. A larger font would save others from squinting.

This article could have been expanded, but to what end? No positivity would be achieved. Probably, most readers would pass on by. Here, we can find valuable information without feeling overwhelmed. Everyone has their own approach. In my head, several thoughts are swirling, different from the ones outlined here.

Final reflections - Considering the length of the document, there is a wealth of valuable information. Also, I liked your writing voice.

** Image ID #2317863 Unavailable **
Reviewed by Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .