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3,620 Public Reviews Given
3,659 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of Starman  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi No Sox with Sandals Congratulations on your 10 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
The title brought all sorts of imaginings to mind. The brief description drove me forward to the story.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Overall, a charming story, enjoyable story. The simple setting ran throughout the story. Setting can be difficult when a w/c restriction is mandated. You did well.

I had to laugh at the romantic conclusion about heaven not being able to contain him.

As to the dialogue, the last sentence read choppy. (bad) at the end of the sentence was awkward and needed no punctuation since his passion is demonstrated in the next sentence.

with a heart starting kiss.
How can this be a heart starting kiss? Was her heart stopped? Just asking.

When I read (lightning) two thoughts came to mind. Death, or The Terminator appearing. In this case, lightning gave way to life. The way she slowly recognized bit by bit would heighten a reader's attention.

*HeartG* Personal connection
As a kid, I wished upon a star, even knowing the act was pure fantasy. I live in a large-ish city where only a few stars are visible. One time. One time only, I saw a shooting star.

*Mushroombr* Suggestions
Try to choose all three genres available to gain exposure. "Romance" works, but so does fantasy and...I can't think of the third one.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
My star-streaking wish: Why does the guy in so many stories always have chiseled muscles?

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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102
102
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi LeJenD' Congratulations on your 19 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook/attack point
If a writer hasn't captured their reader's interest in the beginning, the work is most likely passed over. My interest, unfortunately, was the theme of growing old. I remember when dying at 80 seemed old, now people live into their 100's and beyond. I hope that doesn't happen to me. An aging body is no gift.

And, yes, about my first comment. You did catch me in your weaving of words.

*Mushroombr* The comments
As I read, it was obvious this poem followed a specific form. I'm sorry to say I can't comment on that. I write poetry, but only the common formats. ABAB or free from.

As the narrator ages, the last line caught me off guard. The (alas) felt out of place. She (?) seemed to be comfortable observing the seasons and relating them to her life, as if she were in acceptance of all to come. That's why 'alas' seemed contradictory. No big deal. Only an observation.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
So...the flower of youth isn't an overly unique way of showing the aging process. That doesn't mean the poem wasn't an enjoyable read. It's time to return to WdC. Maybe this anniversary review will reach out and tempt you.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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103
103
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Cynaemon Congratulations on your 21 years of membership.

*Mushroombr* The hook
My mom is in her 90s and just transferred over to a care center. I wonder how much longer she has. Anyhow, that's why I chose to read this poem. Now, I'm not so sure it was the best decision.

*Mushroombr* The comments
Good grief, this was a clever, if tragic piece. The idea of going backwards in time fascinated me. I've never seen that done before. And you did it very well. The conclusion was extremely heartbreaking and disturbing and gave a whole new meaning to the poem.

I lost my sister in 1983 and recreated a life for her in my mind. Recently, when my mom moved to the care center and had to clear out her freaking huge apartment, a few of my sister's creations were there, and I brought them home. Now, I feel even closer to her, but, what would our shared life have been like? Would we still live miles apart? I know we'd still be close.

*Mushroombr* Final observations
Well, I don't want my personal story to overwhelm the masterpiece you've posted here. It truly was remarkable. I won't say "I'm sorry for your loss," even though I just did. The words have no meaning.

I think I'm happy that you shared this piece. It broke my heart. The work was long ago written, and I hope writing the poem helped you process your pain. It dims but never goes away, does it?

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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104
104
Review of Tender Touch  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi B4HEART Congratulations on your 23! years of membership.

*Mushroombr*The hook
I liked the title and kids, especially newborns. "Crocodile tears" didn't quite work for me, because they mean the tears aren't real born from fears. They are forced and insincere. I don't know of a baby who can fake tears.

*HeartG*

Personal connection
Oh, those sleepless nights are exhausting, but holding the child takes away some of the tiredness. I like the way this was written from the newborn's POV.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations

My favourite stanza. I've cried right along with the baby. Great job capturing the essence of a newborn and the mother.

"Hunger, teething, diaper-rash
Enough to make many tears clash"


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


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105
105
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Ðungeon Щarden Congratulations on your 22 years of membership. You're practically a charter member.

And so it begins

Oh, wow, this is an original story. I smiled all the way through it, because the humour was subtle, which made it all the stronger.

What stood out?

Excellent job developing three strong characters, not counting the bird or dragon, that is. The back and forth dialogue was fantastic. The dragon could be a third character. The description of the ever-darkening forest was also entertaining.

Suggestions

What choice do I have? --- I can think of no other alternative.”
Missing quotation marks at the beginning of this sentence.

"I often awaken at sunrise," (said Mark,) "is that early enough?"
Mark said. This incorrect placement of said before the person's name needs to be adjusted throughout the entire story.

a young woman, dressed in a muddy pink dress, could be seen sitting on the ground/c}
no comma between (dress and (could).

This was meant...
This sentence needs to be dialogue or inner thought.


Final observations

I wonder if the first genre should be comedy? A good laugh is worthy of gold. Nicely done.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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106
106
for entry "Escape" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hi An apple a day.... Congratulations on your 16 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
If I had to give a concise and accurate reason for reading this particular piece of FF, I'd have to say it was the title that grabbed my interest. Why? My writings and thoughts are always on the run, escaping from what, I do not know.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
Talk about a surprise conclusion. I had to read this several times before the meaning became clear, due to the misdirection. Excellent approach to this story.
The third paragraph made me feel as if I were the one running, and every descriptive word added to the image theater in my mind.

*HeartG*
Personal connection
If possible, I would live in the mountains. That's why I liked the description of boulder placement. I marvel all the time at how that mountain formed and then spewed rocks in puzzling directions. To me, it's eloquent beauty expressed.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
If I fell, he might, too.
I wasn't clear on who (he) was.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
There are many ways to show a person dying. Yours was exceptional. *Star*


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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107
107
Review of The Helpers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Purple Catching Up Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.

*XMasTree*
It is my joy and honour to review this FF story for you. So many of my memories inundated my mind. Years ago, I hosted Christmas for 20+ family members, some who stayed overnight. I decorated the house, and with so many lights, our electric bill increased to $200. Figures, I did all the work, but at a crucial moment, time to flip the switch, a neighbor passed by and complimented my ex who had done absolutely nothing to help me.

*XMasTree*
I decorated using candy canes too. They were placed around the fence, facing the street, so people coming around the curve had something to look at. Oh joy, someone stole them.

*XMasTree* Suggestions ~ one quibble
I shook my head; from Sam, I'd understand, but Jake should've had the presence of mind to know better.
Suggest using italics for this sentence, or maybe just for the second half.

*XMasTree* I was totally immersed in your story, and the conclusion caught me by surprise. You have a broad imagination. Excellent write!

Respectfully reviewed by

~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2


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108
108
Review of Enchanted Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Pennywise. I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
From the top
I surprised myself by choosing this FF story. Even though I sometimes write romance, the genre is not a draw for me, and reading a story about love is something I avoid. However, I read the brief description and took the plunge.

*Vine2*
As the plot unrolls
The first sentence or paragraph is the point of attack to draw in the reader. Yours definitely worked that miracle.

FF, by nature is quickly composed, unless, like me, the author overthinks everything and trashes the attempt. Your word choices and command over language stood out, as I read unexpected words. The sight of the woman's appearance was original and provoked an image in my mind. Well done.

*Vine1*
Observations
I'm including these remarks, not suggesting editing. Rather the comments may help in another story. That's what happens to me.

So why had this lady-of-the-night affected him so(?)
I don't understand the structure of this sentence. I think your intent was to include the (so) and end it with a question mark.

“Who are you?” He asked.
he asked

“I (to), know of magics..."
(too)

loves kiss resurrected me.
love's kiss

*Vine2*
Concluding remarks
The last sentence nailed the overall theme with word choices like betwixt. The narrator hated the 'chuffing' forest. I thought it was hysterical, other than the outcome. In a few words, you presented all the elements of a story.

The notation at the end looks as if Arakun the twisted raccoon wrote this. Next time, use the link to the contest, not the author. *Wink* "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge" Open in new Window.

The theme itself is common, but I felt vindicated, because 'love' had a disastrous effect. The same has always been true for me. *Laugh*

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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109
109
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi WakeUpAndLive Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*Cat2*
Overall Impression
How in the world did you come up with names and descriptions? The demonstration of extreme imagination snagged my interest and held on tightly all the way through the story.

The title works because good cannot exist without evil, the same as light cannot exist without dark. The parricorn was the quintessential good, and the sharkhorse was the quintessential evil. The descriptions of both matched their nature.

*Cat2*
The plot plays out
The fight scene was familiar, thereby giving the reader an easy reference point. Sometimes, as in this case, familiarity is needed.

A disturbing and gruesome phrase was graphic.
"bleeding like rain, losing skin like snow."
I can reference the skin to the parricorn, but that leaves me to understand why the sharkhorse bled like rain. Or was the bleeding an overall description because, of course, there would be blood, especially after describing the vicious sharkhorse's teeth.

*Cat2*
Lasting impression
I'm also left to wonder why people would pray to both creatures. In my mind, people would pray to the parricorn, hoping for victory, however unlikely that was. Or were they praying to both because they were pleading for the two to stop, another impossibility.

Bravo! for originality, and for showing the concept of good vs. evil in such an unusual way. No point in rating this story less than five stars. *Star* x five.

Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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110
110
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sumojo I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
First thoughts
All of your stories are a pleasure to read, and this one was no exception. I liked everything in this story, but how the painting destroyed the mansion wasn't clear to me. The painting never seemed to have a negative influence. Neither the song nor the subsequent actions (The appearance of Gene Kelly and Debby Reynolds didn't strike me as threatening.) Haunting, yes, but also cool.

*Vine2*
As the plot unrolls
The story mirrors the oncoming plot. First, the purchase and then the happenings. I guessed the concurrences from the first few paragraphs. i.e. Neither the house nor the store would be present. This unrolling played out the drama to a maximum. At least the man no longer had the painting. And maybe seeing the dancing would have spooked me as much as the narrator.

*Vine1*
Observations
Cyd Charisse danced with Kelly for the musical "Singing in the Rain." Debbie Reynolds was not available. Maybe there was another rendition?

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
I wasn't overly emotional when reading the plot. The story was laid out without scaring me. But I did enjoy reading it. Probably, if the story was more haunting, I wouldn't like it. Yes, that's 'contradictory me'—most often of two minds. And I'm weird. I felt sad for the house.

Keep up your talented writing.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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111
111
Review of Soup of the Day  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, winklett I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
From the top
I understand the time constraints of this contest, but, still, I wished for a stronger title for this inventive story.

*Vine2*
As the prose unrolls
I was impressed by how many synonyms you chose to describe the different actions. And so many clever ideas for the cook to include in the soup.
snatches a breeze..grabs a pot...folds in time...draft of divinity...and so on.

My mom baked twenty apple pies at once. When I asked her how she could possibly do that, she answered that she thought about how much the family would appreciate her pies, and that she made them all with love. That was grand for me to hear, because in my family, emotions were not allowed expression. Nor was hugging or kissing. I think it was normal, based on that generation. And, I had my aunt who was extremely affectionate. She saved me.

*Vine1*
Observations
The transition from the chef's actions to the last paragraph beginning with (I) didn't make much sense. How could she make observations? Consider using something like (A young woman ordered) or any other way to identify the character who was tasting the soup.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
What a joy to read all the details of the soup's creation. Nicely done, with effective and non-repetitive words.


Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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112
112
Review of Learn To Trust  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Veronika. Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*Cat2*
Overall, the lesson to be learned here is a good one. The title and the brief description encouraged me to read the prose.

*Cat2*
The one niggle I have is how the void is personified. A void means nothing exists, and it definitely won't whisper. Are you familiar with this quote by Friedrich Nietzsche? "If you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you."

Void and abyss are synonyms.

I'm opinionated here. There's no such thing as 'should'. I was taught that by a psychologist several years ago. To accept life as comes, I use these words. "It is what it is." So...what about...Trusting in yourself isn't something you have to earn. But it is something to be learned. Just throwing an idea out there. Take it or leave it. *Wink*

The first two lines were strong, but they rhymed, which led me to the expectation that this would be a rhyming poem. That didn't happen, so I was thrown off by the inconsistency.

*Cat2*
In the title, the word 'to' is not to be capitalized.

*Cat2*
I do like the message, because no one goes through life without some sort of trauma. Believing in oneself allows us to recover, which is tantamount to moving on.

I don't use disclaimers, because since I'm writing the review, there's no need for me to say "This is only one opinion." However, you're new to the website, but not necessarily new to writing. I have no intention of discouraging you, so take what I'm offering, without upset. Keep writing!

Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.


Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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113
113
Review of Thank You, Dear  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Bodhisattwa Parekh I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
The choice
After I landed here, curiosity overcame me. The world is a sad place for me, and I've been looking for some light. Also, your name keeps popping up in places I travel, adding to that curiosity.

*Vine2*
As the prose unrolls
The theme of one person completing another's life is to be read in multiple places. Though I'm appreciative of the joy expressed here, I can't accept that way of thinking. I believe a person needs to be whole and complete, rather than being codependent. Sorry if I sound like a cynic, but life has taught me a lesson. I'm better off on my own.

*Exclaimg* The third and fourth lines burst forth on the page, going from black and white to colorful. Not many write in italics. Coupled with the bold font, the piece is almost too much (maybe). I haven't quite made a decision. The centering works well.

*Vine1*
Observations
I'm not sure how I feel about the triple use of the word life. Nor am I sure if the word could be replaced with a synonym. That would be something for you to discover.

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Cynicism aside, overall the prose is charming.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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114
114
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, Carol St.Ann 👓 I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
From the top
*Confettio* Congrats on the win!

The title informed the reader regarding when this event took place. And then you went one step further.

Character names are essential to any story. The name, Cora Mae Harper, immediately established the fact that this plot was set in the past. However, her enthusiasm cornered me in a predicament. She sounded like a kid. Maybe she was a newlywed.

*Vine2*
As the plot unrolls
Oh, so very innocent the story began.
Jess giving Cora the city by looking out the window was both touching and foreshadowing.

The scene was easy to visualize, and the antics of the characters made me think this might be a simple story. How wrong I was. The innocence shifted unexpectedly to an ominous event, and from there the reader had to hang on as details were filled in.

Cora was a compassionate woman who impressed me, jumping to care for others, although her husband was missing. That action is similar to my daughter's actions—always eager to help others. Not to be overlooked, Cora helping the injured was an end to the means. Finding her husband. You really hooked me, and I started to give up hope.

Excellent word choices enhanced the story. The words were correct for the era, and I noticed each one. Nice!

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
My eyes were a bit misty when I read the conclusion. You expanded from the personal to the world view, as the couple thought about what the next day would bring.

No wonder this story was a win. *Star*

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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115
115
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings, THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
The Grab
What captured my attention? I liked the title and the way it rhymed, which was also true in the brief description. As my eyes traveled down the page, the format looked great, so here I am.

*Vine2*
Stanza by stanza
Sand between the toes. It feels so sensuous, and the first stanza showed that sensation. Afterwards, we have to clean our feet, and that is not an easy feat.

Where I live, walking barefoot in the grass is dangerous. One has to be on the constant lookout for fire ants. They get into your shoes and between your toes. Multiple stings that fester. We also have burrs that pinch.

*Exclaimg* I'd much rather experience the delightful experience presented in the next stanza.

In the third stanza, maybe substitute (heard) with (thought), because how can the aunt know what her niece is thinking? But then you're stuck with (heard) one after the other. Hmm.

Fourth stanza- here the poem opens up and the reader meets the niece. I fell in love with that charming child.

Fifth stanza- "in every cranny and nook" was my favorite line.

Sixth - Ah! Now the reader knows why the aunt is so upset. I imagined her all dressed for the event.

Here, I will summarize. You penned an excellent conclusion to expand on the niece and show the reader her kindness. We must all be careful of what children hear.

*Vine1*
Observations
My one suggestion is to identify who the (she) is in the last stanza.

*Vine2*
Parting thoughts
What a joy to read something so fun and bright. Thank you.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Butterfly Book


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116
116
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi KDM-1984 Congratulations on your 24! years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
I'm asking myself why I chose this story to read. I don't have an answer.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
Long ago, my mom told me that if I didn't have something nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. But...wow, this chapter was brimming with information and character introductions. I realize this is a book, so I glanced at chapter two and found the same type of writing. Beginning a story with the narrator saying her life is boring is not exactly a draw.

I tried, as best I could to follow along, but I ended up skimming though it, buried in characters talking.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
There is no page to turn at the end of this chapter. A link to chapter two would be helpful. I noticed many sentences written with 'and' because someone pointed it out to me. Here is one example.
“Does your story start when you were sixteen?” I asked as I turned to gather my shoes.

Start with the dialogue, but make the second half an action beat. Delete the (I asked) and jump to the action. -- I turned to gather my shoes.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
I'm not here to hurt your feelings, or disparage your writing, but this style of writing didn't work for me at all. The ironic part is, it's possible the story has been published because you had a book cover pictured.

I'll be on my way now. Happy writing. Don't forget those links to subsequent chapters. *Wink*

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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117
117
Review of Poetry  Open in new Window.
for entry "Cold" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi Cat Carroll Congratulations on your eleven years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
I simply cannot stay away from all the dark items in this folder.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
Once again, I'm meeting a dark character carrying out a dastardly deed with no remorse. I wonder why I thought the narrator was a woman? The last paragraph, mentioning a top hat was the clue to learning the sexual orientation of the narrator. Also, the top hat suggested this occurred in a time period where men dressed this way. He has no care if he's discovered, or maybe there will be no way to connect him with the murder. I'm guessing the woman died.

The sixth stanza showed something even more drastic. This man is truly uncaring, and I wonder how long he led this woman on? The questions have no bearing on the prose, and do not need to be answered.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
And if any reader hadn't realized (which is hard to comprehend) how truly evil this abomination was, there is absolutely no doubt once the final stanza was written. Excellent last two sentences, mentioning the cold outside matching the cold in his soul.

Kudos on writing prose that is truly dark. I enjoyed the read. I'm not sure what that reveals about me.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Mow the Lawn  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Orion's Dagger Congratulations on your 12 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
I decided to read this because my dad was always after one of my brothers who delayed mowing the lawn.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
All I could think of was, how can this even be a lawn? My brother delayed, but our yard never looked wild like this one. However, penning the story the way you have firmly places it in the horror genre.


*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
Sighing Jimmy went outside to start the mower. (missing comma) Sighing, Jimmy...Otherwise, it reads as if Sighing Jimmy was the character's name.

"Grass grew uncontained..." Perhaps, unrestrained would be the better word.

"He looked up and saw that the sun was already gone. He stood up..." perhaps these two sentences could be joined to avoid repetition.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
The next to last paragraph was truly disturbing. Good job.

I only wish the condition of the grass had been more realistic. Maybe the parents wanted a meadow cleared. There would still be grass, and the other objects mentioned would make more sense, if they were in a meadow.

I enjoyed reading the story because it was only a little bit frightening, with just enough eeriness to set the mood.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of A Big Surprise  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Detective. Congratulations on your 11 years of membership. I've returned for a second anniversary review.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
The title didn't grab my attention, but the brief description sure did! I was in a state of anticipation, wondering what the mission could be.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
The unusual theme intrigued me.

How true is the opening paragraph. Look as if you fit in and you will. The plot unraveled evenly, with only a few hitches. The reader has enough salient details to fill in any gaps. Mentioning that corporate espionage was common alleviated a sense of wrongness. This guy wanted work from wherever it could be found.

The third paragraph expanded on the idea of fitting in, and the repetition of (just enough) was clever.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
First paragraph/sentence three is a bit awkward
He trusted that his tailored suit, purposeful stride and confident demeanor to allow him to pass unnoticed by anyone who might interfere with the completion of his job.

Oops
A contract could last anywhere from a few weeks toa few months,(/c}
to a

Once uploaded, the virus programs contained on the flash drive would set InterGen Consolidated back weeks, even months.
Since the previous sentence already stated what was on the drive, there's no need to repeat it.

He would be done and gone before anyone was wiset.
wiser

*Right* The narrator has no name. Naming a character often leads to cluing in the reader as to time and place. A name like (John) would bring a yawn and reveal nothing. A name like Ethel would indicate that the story was at a specific time in history. It's fun for me to find names for characters.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
The conclusion was devastating, and if the espionage hadn't been so well played out, I would have had sympathy for InterGen Consolidated. I liked the character, which put me on his side, wanting him to succeed. Nicely done.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of My mind, my pain  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Sunnex . Congratulations on your three years of membership. The last time you were here was back in July of 2024. Are you planning on returning?

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
I liked the title and the brief description. I knew relating to what you wrote would be easy.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
You made an interesting observation. It is possible for exhaustion to keep a person awake. There comes a point where finding sleep is pointless.

Each stanza carried the theme without repetition.

*Mushroomr*
The questions
I'm not quite sure what the first stanza means. Should dusty (sheaves) be shelves? Have you ever considered not capitalizing the first word of every line? Especially when it's an ongoing thought.

My mind is going back and forth. Should the other half of the title be capitalized?

*Mushroomr*
Final observations
I was right. Your poem's message fits with the mood I've been in for a while. I'm in admiration of your stamina and determination. The last stanzas clearly demonstrate your strength of spirit.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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Review of Poetry  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Cat Carroll. Congratulations on your 11 years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
I was drawn in by the non-existent title. Sometimes, no matter how one casts about, no title comes to mind.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
I read through all of the entries, marveling at how consistently dark they were. And I thought my items were dark. You have dominated the genre.

As you requested, I don't think this prose needs to be expanded at all. The words and images are precise and hard hitting. All the disturbing stanzas completely express the narrator's emotions and actions. I can sense that person's glee whey they finally gave in and took care of someone who had long been hurting them.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
Sometimes, poems work without punctuation to guide the reader, on the flip side, sometimes it's necessary. Interestingly enough, I read an article today regarding punctuation in poetry. I think this prose needs punctuation. However, I acquiesce to the writer's largess.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
In only eight lines, I can see into the person's dilemma and sympathize with that person, even though killing is a crime. Disturbing as it was, I enjoyed reading it. You've penned one of those poems that will stick in my head.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Often  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Aisha Akunne . Congratulations on your one year anniversary.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
The title is simple, but reflects the nature of the prose. I've never understood love so am always curious when someone writes about it. Most works, such as these, reminisce on lost love.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
The formatting threw me off. Free form poetry knows no bounds or limitations, but I still like to see some structure. Maybe all these thoughts came to you in a stream of consciousness.

The hardest emotion to silence is regret. For things not said, for things that should not have been said. The prose mentioned softened, and that makes me worry. We need a hard shell to navigate our violent masses. To be soft is to be hurt.

*HeartG*
Personal connection
You mentioned a muse, which is not something I bond with. But then I remember my sister (deceased) and often I feel her (diminishing) influence when writing. She died in 1983, and her loss is profound.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
I try not to use the word love as a verb, but I did love Vitamin You and his nickname for you. Beauty.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Poetry  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi Cat Carroll Congratulations on your 11 years of membership. (Again).

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
This piece called out to me so loudly, I wanted to cover my ears. You're writing is extremely effective.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
The verses are longer than most others, and that was an adjustment for me. I usually lose my way when reading so many lines together, with no pause or breaks in between. The reader has to buy all of the narrator's misery. I had no trouble following this.

*HeartG*
Personal connection
In many ways, this could be me. My experiences weren't quite to drastic as shown here. The truth bothers me. We set our own destinations in accordance with our thoughts.

*Mushroombr*
Lapses of attention.
And now I' feeling sorry I'm
Of the one I thought (i was) during all these years I was

*Mushroombr*Final observations
I've always been the one to walk away from the guy. I hurt them, but, over the years, it's become clear to me that I must be me. Despite how much the relationship destroyed me. I was lucky to get out.

The goodbye at the end is upsetting. I wonder if she plans to kill herself/himself. This time, I decided the narrator was a woman. You've penned an excellent collection here. I'm happy to have found it. Now I will move on. You're probably tired of hearing from me.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Richard ~ Looking for Luck! Congratulations on your five years of membership.

*Mushroombr*

The Choice
Honestly, I have no idea how I ended up here. I've seen the title of your blog before, but that's not how I wound up here.

Point of attack: This specific "Without a Compass Day - What direction are you going?" Open in new Window. was a deliberate choice, because the story of my life is about getting lost. I've been lost on nature trails in the mountains, but there was a cellphone signal so I could call my friend, who was also hiking in the area.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
I liked the quiet humour of being lost at lunchtime. It definitely shows a youngster who is lost. I've never heard of the down/listen advice, and it wouldn't have helped when I was lost on the mountain trail.

*HeartG*
Personal connection
My daughter lives 15 minutes from me, but when I first moved here, I often spent two hours driving around trying to find her house. And I had an ancient, monstrous GPS which didn't help at all.

*Mushroombr*
Final observations
The last paragraph gave me pause. I've never experienced a pleasant adventure when lost. If someone (like my brother who can find his way anywhere and knows how to use a compass) is with me, sidetracking is the best part for discoveries. He also encourages me to trespass beyond a no trespassing sign. He tells me that I'll never see anything if I follow all the rules. And we are both adults.

Thanks for the enlarged font and generous white space.

Maybe being lost here on the site and then finding you corresponds to the topic here. Serendipity?

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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Review of Walls Could Talk  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Detective Congratulations on your eleven years of membership.

*Mushroombr*
The Choice
The title is a bit ordinary, but it serves the story, enlightening the reader from the start.

*Mushroombr*
The comments
As I read, I kept thinking, this should be a short story. Maybe some kids making a dare to wander the house at midnight or on Halloween. I believe that would bring the reader closer to the events, where they can directly experience them, rather than reading what seems like a list. Who is there making these observations?

The word choices are provocative and unique to the poem. You have a rich prose to delight and perhaps frighten the reader. Nothing of the sort happened to me.

*Mushroombr*
Suggestions
A few commas are misplaced. Honestly, what's happening inside the manor house is something I'd expect to encounter in an abandoned psychiatric hospital. Of course, that wouldn't fit the ballroom scene.

My favorite view, as I imagined looking through the manor's windows, was the second stanza. There's something magical about waltzing in an opulent ballroom.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


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