\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/nixie9/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: OFF
3,620 Public Reviews Given
3,659 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
26
26
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Salutations and Congratulations turtlemoon-dohi


HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Rain's Healing Sound" is a beautiful and informative poem. I hope it's okay to write informally how much Native Americans fascinate me.

The cover art is poignant and spiritually moving. I wonder what this poem would look like if the full image was at the top. I'll admit it's a wondrous surprise to discover the image at the end of the poem.

As a kid, we lived in the Mohawk Valley, in NYS. Spooky occurrences happened all the time. All four of my siblings, and even my parents, experienced supernatural times that couldn't be explained. My memory is sketchy, but I think my dad later discovered that our house was built on the Mohawks grave. To this day, I feel awful about that.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
This sentence makes so much more sense to me, sidestepping some traditional beliefs.

Traditional drummers sing love notes to Great Mystery.
Echoes of trilling travel to the skies, as a plea for life's harmony.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I find the rain to be healing. I don't even carry an umbrella. Rain is like a gift for me. Thanks to you for expressing my thoughts so movingly.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
27
27
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations TheNoMonster

*Leafo*This review is a gift to you from "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.*Leafo*

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"A gentle Collision" may be a small story, but it packs a punch. Little moments do matter, even if they create a small ripple. You chose a real live experience to write about, and the intimacy was cranked up a notch.

The story is a bit on the sad side, but that's okay. If a person thinks about it, the truth is in the words. Some readers may not react positively. Also okay. To each his own.

Golden retrievers are the sweetest of dogs. We had one when I was a kid, and we had one when my kids were kids. Her passing left a hole. (cancer.)

*Asteriskg*
Suggestions
In the opening paragraph of this review, notice the capitalization of all the words in the title.

The way this sentence was written is a little challenging to improve. The punctuation is outside the quotation marks.

I looked back at the girl and she was sitting on the swing next to a somewhat older boy, her brother?, and she had a very serious look on her face.

Here is one possibility.
*Right* I looked back at the girl, and she was sitting on the swing next to a somewhat older boy. Her brother? She had a (delete very) serious look on her face.

That sentence has some implications. I wonder why her expression turned serious?

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
The ripple of small joy, for both the girl and the dog, was gone. And likely forgotten. But so was my funk.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
These little moments change many things. A small gesture between your dog and the child uplifted you from your funk. Keep writing.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
28
28
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Salutations and Congratulations {huser:

*LeafO* This review is a gift to you from "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window. *LeafO*

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression

wow! What potential "The Vampire Jellyfish" has with some changes that I'll demonstrate. Hopefully, they'll help.

The jellyfish is a frightening creature to be avoided. That much is clear. I felt (as I always do) for the evil monster in a story. There's no mention of anyone trying to kill it, I could only experience the plot through the words.

The reader wants character reactions and conflict. You have an abundance of material here to build on. Rather than telling the reader about the jellyfish, why not show some interaction? Show it steal and devour a villager. That danger is listed, but what a shame that we don't see through a character's eyes.

Rather than telling us about it lurking near fishing boats, this can be translated into a terrifying event. What if a fisherman fell overboard and the jellyfish ate it, leaving a red mist in the water? No need to be overly graphic, show us the fellow fishermen screaming and trying to save their friend? Is there no hope?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Where an you go from here? Writers have a specific job. Show, not tell. Bring your reader into the story. Make them care about something. Add in some dialogue.

*Star* Don't be discouraged. Try again. That's how we learn. *Smile*

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
29
29
In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Kyle Curcio. Nixie here with a gift for you.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

"Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*



*Bee*
Overall Impression
My first reaction to "Running Out of Cats" was.. what? Killing a fairy? And from there on the thought stuck in my brain. Especially the sound of crunch.

Aside from that, the plot flowed smoothly, each sentence adding more to the curious factor. The character's actions felt normal, as if I were watching the scene play out.

Character names help the reader connect to the story. Imagine the terror instilled by one name. "Khan." Gogmagogg conveyed nothing, other than fulfilling the nonsense genre.

The interaction and dialogue between the two characters was effective in demonstrating their close relationship. This was accomplished in a single sentence, where I felt the connection. *Down*
"Careful!" (c) Cautioned Gertrude, clasping her husband's shoulder..."

*Bee*
Suggestions ▼

*Bee*
Lasting Impression
Even though (stone) was a required word, it didn't feel forced. I'm ashamed to admit the conclusion surprised me. And then I had to go back and read it again to catch the full meaning of the story. Very clever.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

A review signature from the Bee Hive

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
30
30
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Crystal Rena . Nixie 🦊 out sick here.
I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

Review sig


*Gembl*
Overall impression
I've never known anyone with a drug addiction, much less a recovery. Congrats. It's important for people like me to be aware of this problem first hand, rather than seeing the addiction portrayed in movies. You were brave to have written "Methamphetamine."

In my mind, labeling the drug as a 'she' gives power and identity. I do understand why you did so, as (Crystal) completes the narration. Since the recovery has been completed, my question is a moot point. I'm asking for myself.

This prose contrasts sharply with your bio. This piece must have been written after you conquered the beast.

Did you have too many words in the brief description to add the word (me) after killing? I'm shocked if he actually tried to physically murder you.

*Gembl*
Observations
What do you think about breaking the lines up a bit, maybe four lines, or, if you like the suggestion, whatever works for you. I'm mentioning this because right now the work appears as a block of single text. I think your words would be more effective and powerful if separated. But that's just me. One person with an opinion.

*Gembl*
Lasting impression
The prose is clearly understood and paints a sad story, contrasted by a winning conclusion. I've heard that even after a person triumphs, the draw for the drug is maintained, and the person must stay in a recovery group.

My comments may seem overly personal, so pardon me. No offense was intended. No judgement. Overly curious, I suppose.

*Gembl*
Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
31
31
Review of Good and Bad  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings Beholden. Nixie here with a gift for you.

*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
The MC's limitations, through no fault of his own, are painstakingly revealed while reading "The Good and Bad." Life is like that, we cannot have one without the other, but I wouldn't call it luck, although it works for the story.

Who ever thought there was an upside to Covid 19, despite the danger. At least the virus gave him some respite, however unlikely. It was more of an observation because he had zero chance for exposure.

*Asteriskg*
Close connections
This events in the story (except for the conclusion) cast a spotlight on my life. Thank goodness for Instacart. The MC is correct. What's the point of going out when there's nowhere to go?

Isolation brings its various repercussions. It's not healthy for a person to have no one to actually touch them.

I felt the MC's desperation shown here. Not only is he limited by his age, he's restricted by a physical disability.

*Questionb* In the third paragraph the POV switches from third person to second by using (you) rather than (he). It almost fits inside the plot, but it diverted my attention.

*Heart*I found this sentence the most poignant moment.
His hand fell away from the keyboard.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
What a disturbing way to end a man's life. He won't have a swift death, he'll be bearing agony until the end.

You penned a familiar story for any reader past a certain age. I wish the story hadn't had a profound effect on me. I've always admired your work and the quality of your reviews. Keep writing.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
32
32
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings Jeff Nixie here with a gift for you.

*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Way to break a woman's heart, Jeff. While reading "Love without Borders" we learn of Lena's conflicts, both internal and external. This is something often not seen in stories. The complete telling of the story was the ultimate choice here. Although we're always reminded 'show, don't tell' this story would not have been as strong applying that 'rule.'

We see the story through Lena's eyes. Her narration clearly shows who Wendell is. And we have no reason to doubt Lena—she doesn't seem like an unreliable character.

No surprise though, that Wendell had to look like a model. At least Lena wasn't shown as the 'perfect girl next door.' Imperfection on perfection is stunning. Why am I wishing Wendell had some physical flaw? Realism? But that isn't what readers want. Through escapism, they want to fall in love with the perfect guy.

The big question for the reader? Would Lena follow her heart, as they say, or dive in and trust the unknown.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
With all the buildup and hopes harbored by the reader, the conclusion was, all at the same time, satisfying, tragic, and realistic.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I wonder if this story would have an effect on a male reader? Thanks for the read, Jeff. Your story was packed full of uncertainties that kept me engaged.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
33
33
Review of Lisa's Discovery  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Purple Catching Up. Nixie here bearing a gift for you.

*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*
'

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
While reading "Lisa's Discovery" we are tied to Lisa, wondering what it causing the juxtaposition of smells. One so putrid seems tragic, considering the lovely meal being described. There is no other way to go, we must follow Lisa to her discovery.

This is excellent work that fulfills the contest's requirements. I'd have been stymied.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I won't spoil the conclusion, but the appearance of the (other) character's actions and explanations made me laugh.

*Asteriskg*
Considerations
Let's see if I can describe this discrepancy concisely. It only requires changing one word. In the first paragraph, Lisa slams the window shut.
In *Paragraph* two > It made its way inside the house and she closed the window too late.
Since she's already closed the window, you can change (and she closed) to (she had closed) to avoid the pitfall. At least that's how I see it.

Her flowers stood tall and colorful, Tulips in every color flirting with the sun's warmth.
This sounds repetitious. You're a talented writer who brings the reader into the story. You know how to show not tell. So, I'm thinking, in either of the sentences, you can mention specific colours.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I'm not here to tear anything up. I made a few small suggestions for your consideration. Nothing took away from the plot.

In conclusion: The plot flows logically and vividly while the reader wonders, 'what is going on here?'

A story surely to delight any reader. *Star*

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
34
34
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings 🌖 HuntersMoon. Nixie here with a gift for you.

*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
For some reason, I find it extremely difficult to review your work. Maybe the perfection of your work subdues me. "The Dragon's Child" was a happy exception. When I read the title, I knew safety would be found in these words. Dragons are just flat-out cool, and I love kids.

Question > The parents accidentally killed their child and left her body in the woods. Did I read that correctly?

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
*Star* She dreams of the lost wisdom tree -
where one day man will understand.
I doubt this will ever happen.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I'm proud of myself for finally reviewing a poem of yours. I have something I would like to tell you. I had chills running up and down my body as I read this. Dragons and children. They get to me every time.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
35
35
Review of Lost youth  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Sumojo I'm here with a gift for you.

*Gemo*  *Ribbono*  *Gemo* A SuperPower Reviewers Choice review! *Ribbono*  *Gemo*  *Ribbono*


*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Lost Youth" reminds me of just how much I avoid looking in the mirror. Growing older has no joy when the body shows the truth. This little 8 line poem demonstrated that dismay.

Why is it that men age better than women? Their wrinkles are forgiven. Women try mostly in vain to halt that normal process by falling for creams and such. I'm speaking from experience.

*Asteriskg*
Remarks
I can understand why a comma seemed appropriate in the first sentence, due to the similarity of the words. I'm guessing that's why you chose to do that. But since 'blanched' is describing Blanch, no comma is necessary.

In the first stanza, the rhymes felt forced. I've written 8 line poems before, and sometimes I rush, which is why I stopped writing them.
"Lost Youth" seemed rushed.

*Right* *Star* The rhymes in the second stanza created a smooth reading experience.

Capitalize the (y) in the title *Wink*

Is the mirror still not telling the truth? It reflects the truth > an older person.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I'm almost sad that I read this. The Desiderata poem has a line that reads "Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth." No way. It's good advice since aging is inevitable, but I'm fighting every day, just the same. I say "Shatter all mirrors."

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
36
36
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Gratefully IE

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Stepping inside "Trouble at the North Pole" is akin to being in the workshop itself. This is a story where a reader can live in this cozy tale full of humour and creativity. The story itself lives on this virtual page. Partly, this connection arises from 1st person POV, an excellent choice for the story.

The reader will be delighted by the characters and the unique turn of genres.
Speidel brings fairness to all elves with his declaration of MEE. Hilarious. Equality for all elves, regardless of where they're working.

They will have no choice but to love 'Tiltina, one of the tiniest elves. She's unafraid to address Santa, earning even more respect from her co-workers.

On a personal note, I'm reminded of my past career. There was no romance involved, but somehow an understanding with any manager was guaranteed. When the 'big boss' went into one particular meeting, no one was allowed to interrupt him.

Of course, his wife called. Not knowing the importance of the call, everyone agreed that it was up to me to decide. I cracked open the door to the conference room and stood there until the boss and I made eye contact. He excused himself and walked over to talk to me. Yup, back in the day I really was something.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I'm not sure why this line cracked me up over all the others.
“San! Cut it out! You’ll break the keyboard!”

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
No wonder "Trouble at the North Pole" won at Writer's Cramp. Congratulations.

Respectfully reviewed by
Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
37
37
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Gaby Why am I not surprised to be here? " ~ Treasure Designs ~ Shop" Open in new Window. is a regular hangout for me, and now I see you have beautiful C-note shoppes as well.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Emotional Connection
Not everyone loves cats, which I don't understand at all. These kitties stole my heart. My last cat 'died' in December 2023. She was mostly feral, and not very social. But we had our own 'thing' and got along just fine. I only spoke to her in
German. Since she's been gone, I haven't 'thought' in German or spoken it. How true the statement I always told her. "Without you I'd be lost." And I am.

My heart is hammering and my eyes misting; let me move on.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
The entire collection is beautiful, and I'm trying hard to pick a favorite. Considering my present state of mind, the obvious choice is 'missing you.'

I've always included a title for all my C-notes. Question, many of your kitties are titled Kitty # 3 and so on. I can't remember if the title shows up when sending a C-note. Maybe consider adding a title to those particular C-notes.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Thank you for these amazing C-notes. Now I must remind myself "Nixie, do not stop by Gaby's shoppe and dawdle, again." My fascination stems from the relaxation I feel when perusing the images. And that is your gift to me.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
38
38
Review of Calling Mom  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Fyn.

Twenty years spent here.
My wish for you is to receive 20 reviews from members.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
When I respond to a true piece of work, it's easiest for me to write a review about my response. Before I dive into that, here's a few thoughts.

I keenly felt your desperation/motivation. That voice in your head encouraging you, with growing intensity, to call your mom was in tempo with my curiosity as the lines and stanzas progressed to create a final calling, as it were.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
She's been gone twenty years and since yesterday.

That statement impacted me right to bone-level. Time is only a physical construct we plaster onto this world for organizational sake. Time has no meaning. My sister died in 1983, yet lives on in my memories, as does my dad.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I believe people never die in the way society dictates. Not to say that remark is a truism for all. "Calling Mom" shows the reader our very existence from a different viewpoint that I agree with. My sister and dad pop into my head from time to time. Sometimes, to say hello, other times with a message.

A few weeks after my dad died—can I write this without crying—he appeared dressed in Marine uniform from WW2, asking What happened to me?

Your prose practically screams of your inclination. Maybe others who read this will remember there are different ways to call someone beyond the grave.

**All bio works are rated five stars.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
39
39
for entry "The Load" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings, THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! I am reviewing your item for the activity "I Write in 2025" Open in new Window.

"The Load" Open in new Window.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
What a delightful way to begin my morning. "The Load" kept me off balance, wondering what was going on here. Mentioning the Buddha in the beginning allowed me to make one assumption—this must be a spiritual poem, but how could that answer the prompt? That line was a great example of misdirection.

Somewhere in my mind, I imagined this character straddling railroad tracks. So silly on my part. To be clear, the poem directly answered the prompt.

In my writing, I can pull off comedy when writing FF, but definitely not in a poem.

*Vine1*
Observations/oops
I closed my eyes i relief (in) relief

In stanza five these words sounded like a forced rhyme.
rapid and slid

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
The twist, or the revelation, in the last stanza created a complete picture. While I had been smiling at the hyperbole, the conclusion showed me who was acting and who was observing. Everything fell into place, and my upward curved lips turned into a grin. Of course the poem was about a child. Nice going and keep writing.


Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Review sig


Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
40
40
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Nani - Blessed Indeed I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Heart* Favorite line.This was no easy choice.
Then I’d leave a small piece of my heart.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
"The Spell of the Sea" poem was a unique take on the prompt. A love affair with the ocean. The overall mood was melancholy, but the love aspect was most prominent. In the first stanza "The waters of pale emerald green." made me relax. I felt calm just imagining it. I've never seen an ocean of that color.

I thought of the sea glass once collected. Many of those pieces were a polished green. My kids loved discovering them for me. My parents had a place with a section that was a private beach. Your poem brought back dozens of fond memories.

I live near two beaches, but don't go to either one. They're too crowded and I don't like the sand. However, there is a beach in St. Augustine that I like to think about. Alone, I walked it on a windy and semi-cold day.

*Question* I was curious about the punctuation in the second stanza, but I'm not the Queen of Commas, so I won't be specific. What can be said is that I question myself. Does the punctuation always have to be inside the quotation marks?

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
The final stanza was haunting and, again, romantic. Rather than choosing 'contest entry' and 'other, I'd opt for 'nature' 'romance' (maybe) and personal or biographical. That way, your work is more likely to be seen.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us. The words reset my gloomy mood today, and for that I am thankful. Keep writing!


Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Review sig


Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
41
41
Review of Lost  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, SandraLynn I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
Excellent descriptors, my favorite being
No smattering of cold water shocked us into a second consideration.

Reading "Lost" intrigued me as the reference to what had been lost wasn't immediately revealed. Due to that, my interest was driven forward. Basically, I had to know. I definitely didn't expect what came next.

In gestation, babies steal our (I forgot) and that weakens our minds. I enjoyed all my pregnancies, but the aftermath was chaotic. Once I had two babies, everyone told me one more wouldn't make a difference. Wrong. My first daughter knew who she was from birth. My second daughter is the kindest person I know. The third child, my son, was an unexpected pregnancy, albeit a joy, he was a wild child even while still in my womb.

I recognize the constant small battles you mentioned. Mostly, we had trouble while riding in the car. My oldest daughter had to sit in between her siblings. They were only 19 months apart. I invented several games to play, my favorite being 'the moon is following us, you have to keep watching.'

*Vine1*
Thoughts to think
Going forward
Consider increasing the font size and adding more white space (more space between paragraphs).

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
Even though I enjoyed raising children, I wouldn't want to do it again. They're all in their 40's now, and relatively stable. At least my parenting style didn't mess with their minds. It's only in the looking back moments that I cringe, wondering 'why did I do that?'

Thank you for the entertaining, yet cringe-worthy read. Keep writing!

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Review sig


Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
42
42
Review of Windshield Wasp  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*LeafO* This review is a gift to you from "disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window. *LeafO*


Greetings, Than Pence I found your item via the read and review tab.

Favorite line
*Heart* Does your family miss you? Are you causing them pain?

Overall Impression
Favorite line

Oh my gosh, "Windshield Wasp" was both comical and compassionate. The rhythmic pattern of the words and verses created a flowing read that was delightful. How many of us personify insects and worry about their welfare?

Your poem captured my heart, and I read it over and over again. At least the rain interfered, still leaving the MC to doubt, but ultimately, the wasp blew away beyond the MC's control, and he/she was saved from making a decision.

I couldn't have wiped it away, either. Imagine the mess.

Emotions evoked/personal connection
To keep my kids quiet, I made up silly stories similar to this one. There was a bug clinging to my car as we drove to the mall. I made a joke of it, saying it was too lazy to fly anywhere by itself. I was lucky as well. After half-an-hour it finally flew away.

If you've ever watched "Men in Black" a bug flies light years to reach earth, only to land on a truck's windshield and be smeared off. I skip past that scene.

Parting comments
Congratulations on your win. It's well-deserved. Keep writing.

Respectively reviewed by
Nixie

R.O.A.R. Signature 2
*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
43
43
Review of Dementia  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, lucky dog I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Overall impression
Easily relatable

"Dementia" actually caused me to wonder about myself. I have all the same symptoms, but think mine are caused by another illness. It's frightening when I can't express myself, when I respond incorrectly, only to realize days later when it no longer matters.

I cope with a high level of anxiety, and this is most prevalent when I feel vulnerable, usually at a doctor's office when a precise response is required. Often, I bring my daughter to help me listen and understand.

There's a million times when confusion reigns. I forget the day, date, hour...etc. Sometimes, I don't recognize myself, I'm too distant from reality. My doctor is fantastic and helps me by administering the correct medications.

Despite the similarities, I don't believe I have dementia.

*Vine1*
Observations/oops
I have a friend who’s significant other...
(whose)

*Vine2*
Lasting impression
I had a neighbor with full-blown dementia, but his plight is a really long story. A small point--he was always petting a dog by his side. A dog who didn't exist.

"Dementia" was a true recounting that was expressed in a manner easy to follow. I feel a sadness for anyone who is aging with difficulties, but I guess that's life. We never know what may happen.

Thank you for sharing and giving me the chance to relate my own experiences.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

Review sig


Image #2325475 over display limit. -?-

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that let's you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
44
44
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Jeff

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Right* 22 years of membership and still actively involved in the community. I'm impressed.

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Excellent set up for this action/adventure story, although I think that paragraph should be broken up with some spacing. The details are tantamount to understanding the story, and with more spacing, it would be easier to appreciate your set-up. Maybe paragraph at "Upon first glance..."

Sneaky...sneaky and deceptive. I was rooting for the Zava Priests, before even knowing what the war was about. I liked the idea of having one place for all battles. Sheesh. These two cultures must fight all the time. Later in the story, the reader learns the truth.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
Good point. As I say, 'All men have war in their hearts.'
"Such is the way of men," Raza said...

What? You really caught me off guard.
Raza and Raith both unfurled their wings and pushed off the ground..

Even though it's a common phrase, sometimes those phrases are necessary to quickly orient the reader through familiarity.
And then all hell broke loose.

*Asteriskg*
A thought to ponder
Unless they miss their target, aren't all assassins lethal?
... presumably by one of Abergast's lethal assassins.

This sentence could use some restructuring to avoid the word felt.
Raith (felt) lightheaded; it (felt) like his world was spinning off its axis.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Shocking conclusion, to say the least! I had a blast reading "Two Parts Blood, One Part Fire."

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
45
45
Review of The Time Machine  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Mary Ann MCPhedran

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*

Ooo..a decade of membership celebration!

*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Oh, time travel always grabs my attention. Sci-fi is my favorite genre. Which brings me to a sticky point. Going forward *Right* Be certain to use all three categories available when choosing genres. Members won't be looking for 'other', and you're missing an opportunity to secure a Quill.

Ouch! I bet you've heard this exactly four times. The font color and size make "The Time Machine" almost unreadable. Again, something to think about going forward.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I was waiting for the promised time travel as indicated in the title. It's the very last sentence, but I feel that I should have guessed this. The key lies in the description of the car's interior.
Swoosh the car was taking them somewhere.

This was a quick story and had only a bit of build-up with no real challenge for the character. All she had to do was wait.

I didn't get a feeling for either character. They were laid out like flat cardboard, merely going through the actions, while the unassuming plot seemed to carry the story.

Definitely consider evening out the spacing.

What does this mean? Who is both? Who is the attendant?
The cover was pulled back and the attendant and both said at the same time

A car fits in a box?

Was this phrasing deliberate? Or did you mean (I think so.)
'I thinks so.'

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I think you have an excellent chance to pump up the action in your story. I understand it was written years ago, so once again, I'm providing a suggestion for going forward. Keep writing!

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
46
46
Review of Know How to Stand  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Mousethyme

HAPPY 9th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Know How to Stand" is a deeply personal piece, touching on the murky world of mental illness and the general incompetence of psychiatrists. That part was easy to relate to. It was years before I finally found a doctor who correctly diagnosed me. Once I adjusted to the new and correct meds, it was easier to be me. I've resented those meds for years, believing they masked the true me. How messed up was that? The meds allow me to be me. I have to respect them and allow for the side effects.

Stepping out of my life and back into yours, I appreciated how you explained what specific stanzas mean to you. There's reference to 'looking back' and seeing the times when you've fallen and chose to stand up. I've been in the dark for so long, I can't remember a moment like that. It's okay. I'm fine with who I am. If I'm dark, I'm dark. I do try to bring light into my life for the sake of others.

*Asteriskg*
Considerations
More space, please. From the inserted video going down, the first line is almost invisible. As the work continues, the words in that entire paragraph are crammed together. I think that's the most important part of this piece.

You know this is an easy fix, if you so desire. A larger font and more space is all it would take.

I've looked back at some of my older works and cringed because I didn't think about increasing font size for easier readability.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Trust me, there are no 'functional families' but some are worse than others.
You are brave to share this intimate piece with the community. Thanks for showing me a little bit of 'you.'

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
47
47
Review of Little Raindrop  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Spiritual dawning, first light.

HAPPY 14th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
"Little Raindrop" grants the reader a respite from frenzied life to pause and reflect on something tiny, demonstrated in colourful words. The existence of a raindrop as a single entity is something I've never considered before. I'm reaching deep into my memory for a storm that began with one drop. Life has to begin somewhere—both in nature and in humanity. Each with its own heartbeat.

I found your formatting interesting. When I compose poetry, if a line is a continuing thought, I do not capitalize the first letter of the next. Here, you've capitalized all lines and eschewed punctuation. Anything goes in poetry, yes? Author's license and all that.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
If raindrops have no regrets, I'd want to be one. Overcoming regret is considered the most difficult emotion for humans to process.

*Questiong*
What does rain smell like? Silly me. I had to Google it. The smell of rain is 'earthy' so says the AI generated response. Since the second line in that stanza has an observation using that word, I'd be hard-pressed to offer something different. And the more I think about it, the dumber I feel for even making this observation.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
I like reviewing because the task teaches and shows me various ways to write and format. "Little Raindrop" is a sweet and gentle poem that relaxed me.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
48
48
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations Jeannie🌺

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
Great job, Jeannie. "June's Race Against Time" had me laughing all the way through. The cover art showed your exact story, but, of course, the fun was in the plot. Poor June. I imagined her skirt ripped up at least one side. At least that didn't happen to her.

I enjoyed the various ways you found to describe her plight without repetition. Each scene was different, and all the mishaps fell neatly into place. Sheesh. What an inconsiderate police officer. Even receiving a warning is annoying.

I had no appreciation for the dumb blonde comment. Just sayin. with a grimace on my face.

*Bulletg*
Just a quick note
alright
is a word often used in dialogue. But it's not really a word. 'All right' is the correct way to spell it.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
I was impressed when the boss agreed to wait another day for June's presentation. She must be highly regarded as an employee. Also, mentioning the value of her shoe gave me the impression that she was wealthy.

Her colleagues were kind, not crude or rude as I expected. Even Stan backed off with a shrug.

And...all the characters had individual dialogue and actions. I felt as if I knew them all.

*Asterisk*
How did June get around with only one shoe? Shouldn't she have kicked the other one off?

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Quick sharing moment. Once, on the way to a doctor's appointment, my Z28 engine wouldn't turn over. I had no time to wait for Triple A, and after a few more tries, the engine engaged. So, I drove to my appointment, and when I arrived, I parked the car outside my doctor's window and left the engine running in fear that my beloved Z would betray me again.

Thanks for the laugh, and for the opportunity to relate one of my favorite personal memories.

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
49
49
Review of A Narrow Escape.  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Salutations and Congratulations The Sun SmilesOn Small Valley

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
I have never tried writing a 55 word story, as the task seemed beyond my talents. "A Narrow Escape" in both title and content, is a superlative example. The first sentence alerts the reader to the possibility of danger. Then we have a glimpse of where the problem may be, although the reader must wait for the second paragraph to see the actual danger previously hinted at.

Smart MC, knowing enough to check underneath the car door. I remember being told (as a woman) to always look under my car as I approached to see if anyone was hiding there. Also, just in case we forgot to lock the car door (unlikely) check the back seat for a predator. This advice came from long ago, when cars still had locks and keys. And locks could be jimmied.

*Asteriskg*
Stand-outs
The italic font lent a certain unease, which worked well for the story.

*AsteriskG*
Closing remarks
Fantastic and swift, yet exciting, conclusion. Great job for winning!

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
50
50
Review of Forever Love  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Salutations and Congratulations Alexandra

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM

*Confettig* *Partyhatg* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window. *Confettig* *Partyhatg*



*Asteriskg*
Overall Impression
I liked "Forever Love" because the tree played a large role in the romance.

The formatting was confusing, and there seemed to be an authorial intrusion. The story begins as a short story, after which there are a few paragraph breaks. That's where it felt as if the writer was speaking of themselves.

After reading it three times, perhaps that section is being 'spoken' by the MC. Some clarity there would be nice.

*AsteriskG*
Suggestions
Remember, all punctuation belongs inside the quotation marks. I think the rules are the same on both sides of the pond.

‘You have all the qualities I imagined I would have in a man’.

Correct me if I'm wrong. In the beginning, I automatically pegged the MC as a woman, which makes the above a confusing sentence.

*Asteriskg*
Wrapping it up
Predictable but sweet conclusion. Keep writing!

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

R.O.A.R. Signature 2

*SuitHeart* A Review from: "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.*SuitHeart*

*Paw* This review is affiliated with Merit Badge Redemptions Open in new Window., a community project that lets you earn exclusive merit badges just by reviewing! *Paw*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,524 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 61 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/nixie9/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2