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3,620 Public Reviews Given
3,659 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's, comedy
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
*Bulletb* XGC, *Bulletb* Items that are written in a small font with little or no spacing, *Bulletb* I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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151
151
Review of Tooth Monster  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Odessa Molinari I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Great job depicting a child's experience at the dentist's office. I feel exactly the same way, albeit knowing what's going to happen. Most adults dread teeth cleaning due to a bad childhood experience. That's what the dental hygienist told me, after I said that sharp instruments don't belong near soft tissue.

*Vine2*
Oh, the noise. There's nothing like hearing the sound of that drill. The boy's reactions were spot-on. Good luck talking with instruments in your mouth.

You captured his experience with fantastic inner dialogue. I liked his inner dialogue imagining he was about to be tortured the best sentence, overall. Everything felt so real, and it was easy to empathize with the little guy. It's rough being a kid, and I admit to feeling a bit put out by the person holding him down. That would kick me over the hill of terror. It's totally understandable and necessary, but being restrained is frightening.

I wasn't fond of the full caps for BIG!

*Vine1*
I always explained to my kids what was going to happen at the doctor's office. This is a fantastic story for a child who is going to the dentist for the first time. With a bit of explanation, a mom could read this story before that first visit. Better yet, the dentist could have this story in book form situated on a table in the waiting room.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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152
152
Review of When I Am Gone  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi medea

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



What a lovely poem. Due to the fact that this is a personal item makes it difficult to review. I have opinions and observations that shouldn't offend.

At first glance, the title made me think that someone had died. Rather, this seems to be a break-up piece. It can be hard to let go. So here's where I got confused. Stanza five felt like a switch in POV. Or maybe another line is required for the transition from the second to the third line.

Remember to capitalize the (I)—see the third line in the last paragraph. I'm not the comma queen by any means, but the last line (which was outstanding) read better without the comma. I concede to the author's largess.

I'm sorry for the sadness the split generated in your life. By now, I'm guessing that the initial sting is gone and you've moved on.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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153
153
for entry "I am a Dragonfish" Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Angelica Weatherby- July 4th Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.

Banner for Winter I Write


*Bulletr*
I liked your poem, even without understanding it at first. I went off on a Google search and found the information regarding a dragon fish. They are creepy looking fish, and I could barely stand to look at the images. I also checked Violet Goby because the name was interesting. Now I'm educated.

*Bulletr*
You handled the prompt well. Every stanza explained more about the fish. I felt a little sad because it only eats what comes to it.

I was also thinking about how the fish applied to humankind. Why? Because the last line had me thinking about people who can adapt to any situation vs. others that struggle over the same obstacle.

Everything in our world is carbon based, so what's the problem comparing a fish to a person. I am a little bit whimsical that way.

There was no punctuation anywhere, which is fine. I liked the smooth read. Others have made the suggestion regarding my poetry, so I'll mention it here. There's always the consideration of using a period after the last line.

This was a fun piece to read because I like learning new things.

Respectfully reviewed by

~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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154
154
Review of Awakening  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi AddledThinker

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



I was drawn to this piece because meditation is part of my daily life. It can be difficult to still the mind, though. I always ask for a guide, which could be anything, for example, a horse sometimes a person...that's all I can think of right now. Meditations are enlightenment achieved, but it's an internal communication and not always remembered.

I enjoyed reading about your technique and where your meditations transported you. Several locations are tucked away in my mind. Sometimes, I tire of my mind taking me over and over to the same place.

You mentioned breathing, which is an integral part of meditation. I don't like to think about doing that. Rather, it comes naturally as my meditation begins. I'm also careful to state my intentions. I allow only light and positivity to enter me. Thus, I avoid any negative results as stated in the last line. I've never experienced fear.

I like it when writers share their personal experiences. It's an opportunity for me to reflect. I can't believe I'm saying this, because it's always the opposite. I wish for less white space.

Well, that was a fascinating piece to review. Happy Anniversary!


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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155
155
Review of Knowing  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Myles Abroad

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



I chose this story because of the title. I figured it would be easy to relate to, as everyone has to shop. Well, now I only shop online, which is similarly frustrating.

Anyhow, great introductory paragraph. Her appearance is established with one word. Waddled. The husband's voice in her head is convincing. I couldn't help thinking of all the voices in my head when I write, wondering what question readers might ask.

Back to the story--Ugh. People can be so rude. I've been on both sides. Sometimes I'm stuck behind someone who is contemplating bread, and I know exactly what I want, only they are blocking me. I wouldn't reach over, but I would say 'excuse me.'

We learn more about the husband as the plot unrolls. Ellen encounters women who allow her to comment on their appearance and think about Harry's reaction to them.

I wondered what 'peachy-lavender' aroma that Ellen can't afford meant. She must be talking about perfume, but that wasn't clear. Later, the woman shows up, getting in the way again. People who jump lines are just plain mean.

That happened to me once. I was so frustrated, I called out the woman. Her response? "Everyone does it." She had a kid with her. I couldn't resist pushing the transgression issue further. "Is that what you're teaching your child?"

Blond laughing curls face me
You could hyphenate this so it's clear the woman is laughing at her, not the curls.

I strangle the steering
Did you mean to write: strangle the steering (wheel)?

Poor Ellen when she reaches the revelation. Harry sounds like a crummy guy, and I can't imagine anyone else wanting him. So, the evil woman is blocking Ellen and she runs over her? Does the woman die? Or did Ellen only crunch the vehicle?

Interesting plot, with some great phrasing embedded.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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156
156
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Walkinbird 3 Jan 1892

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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The title of this sample was a big draw. I wish I'd read the brief description before embarking on the journey. One of the reasons it was overlooked was due to the beginning paragraph. I lived in Mohawk Valley.

Although the house was newly built, it was haunted. I can bear witness because all my siblings and my parents heard strange noises. When they investigated, no one was there.

Later, we learned the house had been built on a sacred Native American graveyard. It still bothers me that we disturbed those spirits.

Consider paragraphing that large block of text near the conclusion. The story is off-balance. I notice these things because I often do the same.

The ending of that paragraph was disturbing, but perhaps necessary for the plot.

Your writing is graceful and intriguing. So many times, I paused to read a section again, merely for the uplifting experience.

We all have our own stories. That final sentence hit home. Great write, and Happy Anniversary.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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157
157
Review of I hate commas  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lightspeed555

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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I had to read this because my thought is to abolish commas. Not that we don't need them; I don't like them because I can spend too much time wondering where or if a comma is required. What a dream to write without them. We are united in our hatred.

The conversation with the entity made me laugh. Personification is one of my favorite ways to write. That's all I wrote as a kid.

I've taken comma lessons, when we had one onsite long ago. It was tedious but helpful. Too bad I forgot it all.

Grammarly is a resource I've never tried, but I've heard it can be helpful. Or maybe at one time I accepted the 'trial period' only to find the dang program followed me wherever I was writing. So intrusive!

Consider changing the title using capital letters.
I Hate Commas.

This is the AI overview I googled to make sure my comment wasn't misleading.

*AsteriskG* "In title case, major words are capitalized and most minor words are lowercase."

Your poorly written example demonstrated the pitfalls one may encounter. That was one rough ride! I feel relieved when a writer has used them sparingly.

Thanks for the smile your words sent my way.


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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158
158
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, cheshire I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.


*Vine1*
I hesitated to read this, knowing what memories would be evoked. Only a few years ago, we put my dad to rest. Some memories are hazed over to protect my mind. Others, like the dress I wore and the military son at my side are stark.

*Vine2*
Some find peace in a cemetery, something I've never experienced. For me, dead is dead. However, your haunting words gave me pause, and they rang true. In all honesty, I read this over twice, the second time more quickly to sidestep my emotions.

*Vine1*
In the fifth stanza, I didn't understand how we could be beside them. No doubt I started at the coffin, but my dad was gone. Not entirely though. He remained in my mind.

I'm sorry to cut this review short. The words and rhythm are too overwhelming. I don't like thinking about that particular day. Please take that as a compliment. I haven't felt so moved by something I've read in a long time. Great job.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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159
159
Review of Cry! Cry! Cry!  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJean Julyishereboom! Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*BookStack*
The Chattanooga Choo-Choo, huh? I remember that song so clearly, even if the story wasn't about that specific tune. What a wonderful first sentence, using onomatopoeia to secure the scene. The character and conflict was established in the first paragraph.

*Bookstack*
Nice play on words in the 5th paragraph. At first I wondered if likker was a misspell, but it sounds like the specific dialogue to the porter. And I agree with him. I don't even consider wine a 'drink' although it's a prop in nearly every show. The alcohol content is ridiculously low.

*Bookstack*
Rather than generalizing her smell, her touch, why not add a few adjectives so the reader can experience the sensations. What specifically did she smell like, and what was her touch like? I'm thinking 'gardenias' and 'gentle.' Gardenias is such a weird choice, but that's what came immediately to mind.

The passing scenes created a mood of loneliness. It is sad how the farms were abandoned as society 'progressed'. That word is in quotes because we're not progressing, we're destroying.

The video link is no longer available, but I didn't need to hear the song because the story was the song. I guess it's natural for the poor guy to hope Delia is crying. The worst part of breaking up a marriage is still feeling for the other. A true breakup entails having no feelings at all towards the one a person is leaving. No animosity at all.

Crying is a catalyst for healing, although the tears do tend to soak a pillowcase.

A Choo-Choo train and the clackety, clack made me feel forlorn. Great job creating a mood.



Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
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160
160
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams. It's been forever since I've visited your port.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



This poem rings true with notes of sadness and questions of authenticity. Telling a person you no longer love them takes bravery, and that means one has to be strong. The only hope is that the one a person once loved does not love the other anymore. Both were afraid to say anything, despite the negativity.

The above paragraph reveals that I've been through this ordeal more than once. There's nothing special about me, at all, but the men never want to let me go. It was a coincidence, but I managed to escape a relationship by moving to another state.

What about imprisonment? Does that line imply both partners were trapped? That neither wanted to be with the other? The way I read this was that only (she) was suffocating in a can. This is where I got confused.

That now there's one, not two

BTW: I've written about love imprisoning one, but the way you expressed that with the image of a can was fantastic.

When I'm done, I'm done. And there lies the rub.

You've been gone for nearly a month and it's time to come home. It's your anniversary in two days!


Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.

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161
161
Review of Emerald Tower  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Louis Williams Author Icon. I'm cruising through 'read and review' and chose your item to review.

*Books6*
The title was an instant draw and the reason I chose to review your prose.

Your poetic words touched my heart and made my soul sing. I'm not really sure why, because I didn't understand the references. I wondered what you saw in nature to inspire your poem. Were you personifying the cover art? Could the poem be a metaphor that demonstrates the fragility of those who try to conquer vs. those who withstand?

*Books6*
In regards to the second line, I pictured ants climbing up and down the stalk of a flower. However, that doesn't jibe with the expressive third line. I can't imagine ants painting stained glass. What am I missing?

Favorite line
The hardship was hardly felt

The last two lines brought to mind this thought.
There's nothing more stunning than imperfection.

*Books6*
I don't review poetry that doesn't make sense to me, but I couldn't resist remarking on what you wrote. Pardon please, for my clumsy attempts to unravel the meaning. Overall, the poem was magnificent, even if the message itself confounded me.

Reviewing your work was
My Pleasure tks.

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162
162
Review of Losing Battle  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Bernie

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



I've read through several poems in your port, all of which made me uncomfortable because they were easily relatable when I wished they were not. Our experiences are expressed uniquely, but it feels as if we're running on the same track of doing the best we can.

Inner battles are the story of my existence. Everything that can't be seen because it's underneath a wealth of pretense, that's where I live. In a make-believe world so others can be comfortable in my presence. I suppose we all wear one sort of mask or the other.

"Losing Battle" doesn't seem directed at an individual, which is what I expected. Rather it read like an overall battle with the world. It's difficult to see the light once we've accepted the dark reality of life.

I read the prose a few times before I noticed the brief description, which explains exactly the impression I had. And battles with something unseen is a theme I've often written about.

It's not uncommon for me to tune out, as expressed in the first verse. And I feel the same way. Let me be.

Accepting without expectations can be healthy, but a few days ago I reached a revelation. I've been accepting defeat, and that's self-sabotage. I don't like believing that we create our own reality with our thoughts. It scares me.

All of the above was a response to the last line in the final stanza. Your belief in failure will darken every day.

*QuestionB* The prose flowed with punctuation placed only where needed. Maybe a period at the end of the last sentence would be appropriate?

I liked everything I read in your portfolio, but this poem was the easiest to review because it was direct, rather than esoteric. Mostly I write esoteric freeform poems. As the word implies, a few can grasp the meaning, and that always surprises me. Your other writings were so personal, I wasn't quite sure how to approach them. You're an excellent writer.

Happy anniversary.

Respectfully reviewed by,
~Nixie
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163
163
Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "Fire!" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Angelica Weatherby- July 4th Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.

Banner for Winter I Write


*Bulletb*
First, bravo for writing in an unfamiliar genre. I have trouble writing horror stories, so I applaud your attempt.

*Bulletb*
The story was a little confusing and the plot a bit repetitive. I would have liked more information about the attacking forces, and less about fire and the run to the lake. Water and fire was the constant theme, other than the deviation when he helped his girlfriend. But nothing moved me, or raised any emotions.

I like using dialogue to make a story more real for a reader. They feel more invested in the character(s) and their plight.

An escape story always has the potential to create havoc and possible horror, depending on what one is running from. And that's where my confusion set in.

At first I wasn't sure who the 'torched people' were. I thought they were humans who had already been burned. Somehow, the torched people were the invaders who were setting the fires? Later, it was stated that the enemy wouldn't last long in their suits. Was the enemy wearing suits for compensation because Earth's atmosphere couldn't support them?

The concluding statement was a bit awkward. I know what you were trying to convey, but the sentence didn't feel 'right.' I'm not one to offer specific suggestions to alter an author's words.

Then he felt hot, as hot as he ever felt before.

*Bulletb*
I did feel a bit sad in the end, because I wanted Christian to live. The story was hopeless for him from beginning to end. If that concluding sentence could be rewritten in a more powerful and clear way, it would have more impact.

Yay for you and your willingness to try writing in a different genre.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie


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164
164
Review of The Swing  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
A well-written and disturbing story. I don't read horror because it gives me nightmares. What kept me reading? Morbid curiosity? Shock when Ariadne ignored the cries from her brother.

*Vine2*
As the story progressed, the reader was treated to an escalating decline. Gradually, the state of disrepair was revealed in several distinct ways. The most disturbing part was the mother passing without anyone noticing.

Ariadne had to have been mentally ill, acting in her grandiose thoughts, believing she was above human travails. I was wondering how big the house was. In my mind, I pictured a mansion.

When she finally left the house, the descriptions of how she looked gave me chills. Maybe she was already in a different form, more ghost than human. But her death was brutal and her efforts to save herself show that she clung to life.

The story is restricted to narrative with no dialogue, other than Ariadne's inner thoughts. That approach reinforced the solitary life she built for herself.

*Vine1*
What an awful person she was. Did the swing call to her all those years in her isolation? I think that would increase the drama and add an even ghostlier feeling to the story.

Reading the conclusion, I decided the tree itself killed Ariadne. Excellent write!

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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165
165
Review of Jury Duty  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, An apple a day.... I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
I'm happy that I didn't read the brief description. Otherwise, the conclusion would not have sent me reeling.

*Vine2*
I was focused on what was happening to the jurors, especially the loudmouth and the pregnant woman. Last year, a guy sued me for a fender-bender that was my fault, but he wasn't injured at all. I had a rotator cuff repaired the week before and was still in agony. I 'won'. The irony was, my insurance company's lawyers offered him $35,000 and he turned it down. The jury awarded him $5,000, which probably only covered his court costs.

*Vine1*
Anyhow, that's where my head was. When the jurors were initially called in, I had to help with jury selection. We had the utmost respect for the jurors, who listened attentively and judged fairly.

A few of the sentences were awkward, but the story was well-worth reading. I had a clear image of the scene, and experienced relief when loudmouth was excused.

A standout line:
“Well, I have to go to the bathroom, or I’m gonna float,”
The dialogue couldn't have been more accurate. I've never heard someone say they were going to float, so that made me laugh.

I stepped away from the story to tell my own. I like to hear other people's stories, and I hope you do, as well.


Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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166
166
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Rhyssa

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



You knocked all those prompt words right out of the park. Had they not been bolded, I never would have suspected that they were prompts.

The opening scene sets the tone, and I wasn't quite sure how I should feel about Annika. (BTW:fantastic name.) The particulars of her illness were revealed as the story went on. I was so relieved that she didn't have cancer, which was my first guess.

Suggest > In the first sentence, Annika watched, rather than saw.

Suggestion for the title > Through the Window, rather than through the window

You certainly have a way with writing descriptive settings. I felt as if I were a character in the story, waiting for the onset of spring. Pneumonia is debilitating, and it sounded like this wasn't Annika's first run with it. How sad that she thought she'd lost her best friend.

What really got me was the conclusion. Bonnie and the reader may draw two different outcomes. Was Annika crying because she had been coughing, or because she was crying? I wonder what Bonnie would think?

Great write, one that I enjoyed reading more than once or twice.

Respectfully,
~Nixie
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167
167
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
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It was no easy feat choosing an article from your portfolio to review. So many of the titles were intriguing. I settled on this one out of curiosity and a push to acquire wisdom, as your approach to writing is a lesson well-learned.

The article progresses organically. I favor first person POV with a quirky second character for my MC to play off of.

When introducing a character, as you explained, it's important to show the character in action. It places the readers in the zone.

What is more boring than reading an explanation of what a character looks like? And looking in the mirror is a pitfall, an unsavory shortcut. I've read that the same is true for using weather to establish a setting. I waffle on this restriction. If the weather is important, I express it through the five senses and character reaction.

Thanks for including both a description of the characters and showing how to achieve this with a first draft. I didn't pick up any glaring missteps, but the car racing outside felt forced. I wonder if that is an area to be expanded upon?

~None of the images are visible. The light green font is difficult to see. I'm fairly certain I'm on track with this demonstration, but I can see where my writing may be less than optimal in comparison.

Happy Anniversary, Max.

Respectfully,
~Nixie
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168
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Review of Ornery  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Beholden Author Icon I'm cruising through 'read and review' and chose your item to review.

*Books6*
You may not realize it, but in a few words you expressed a familiar concept. A person needs to acknowledge and own who they are.

Outside of the writing world and inside the real world, I prefer the word stubborn. I've been told that a few times. Did I recognize it within myself? No. Do I believe it? Unsure. Not listening to someone's advice has proved disastrous...maybe I should adhere to my own words.

*Books6*
I always shake my head in wonderment when I read a poem that adheres to a specific form. The rules of 'engagement' stifle me. I prefer freeform prose where I can spread my wings.

*Books6*
I'm not quite at the level of acceptance expressed here. I'm willing to venture into new territory, attempting to keep up to date with my grandsons. They have to explain everything to me, or merely accomplish the task for me. I wonder what they think of me. Does it matter? Do they think I'm a lost cause? So be it. Why stress over something I don't understand.

*Books6*
The words may be simple, but the meaning is relatable.



Damiana Matrix SPR


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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Write-fully Loti.

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeB*



The title attracted me, as strange universes are something I like to write about.

The opening two paragraphs that established the setting were vivid. Having wild horses create the path was unique. This was followed by another strong visual, as I've seen the same thing happen. At the end of the paragraph, the conflict was established.

The scene shifted briefly, and the orange trees established that the MC was in a different world.

*Right* "I think I'm lost," I answered.
He gave me a weird look. "You can't be. You are right there."

*Checkg* This is exactly the kind of cryptic answer I expected from the man.

When she returns to her world, she finds a hat. The problem is, there was no hat mentioned in the tiny man's description.

The challenges of a w/c contest are vast. Still, the conclusion should make sense. A hat that was never mentioned is tossed into a fire for no explicable reason. Maybe the MC had a reason, but you ran out of words to express why.

*Puzzle2* One suggestion. In future writings, a larger font and more white space would be appreciated. Doing so makes reading the story easier.

Respectfully,
~Nixie
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for entry "~ Life Goes On ~" Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi ruwth. Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window.. Yes, life does go on. Great title.

Banner for Winter I Write


*Bulletb*
My first impression was shock. I can't imagine heat sickness for such a prolonged time. How awful for you.

*Bulletb*
I have faced similar experiences. I found my apartment after searching for several weeks. My brother came to visit and tried to help. Frustrated for many days, we took a side street. He said, "Isn't that the apartment complex you showed me last night on the computer?" Sure enough, it was. The complex had the same name as the one my parents had just moved from. It also has a lake, just like my parents. I had no idea where my apartment would be. I ended up in the back, with a vista spreading downwards towards the lake. An unobstructed view. None of that was a coincidence.

*Bulletb*
Your story is poignant, unlike my practical one. It amazes me how we're guided to where we belong, by whatever or whoever one believes in. You were blessed with this last visit so close to his dying day. The upside is your attitude. Rather than mourn the loss (I'm sure that was part of it) you celebrated his life and have that memory to carry forever.

Respectfully reviewed by
~Nixie


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Review of Wanna Play?  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi WakeUpAndLive~Petra's Vacay Author Icon. I'm cruising through 'read and review' and chose your item to review.

*Books6*
I had to stop and review this for a few reasons. First, this would be an excellent entry for "The Dialogue 500" Open in new Window.. The short conversation made me laugh because the dialogue was between a human and a dog.

The 'story' also reminded me of the Golden Retriever I had growing up. There was no leash law all those years ago, but Dawn tended to wander when I walked her. Every now and then, she'd plop down and refuse to move.

*Books6*
The conversation goes much like the one I had. "I'm going to leave you here if you don't get up." Of course, she ignored me. She must have known the truth. I would never leave her. After all these years, I can still picture the exact street we were on and the wild brush along the side where she'd planted herself. With her tongue lolling, she looked like she was smiling at me. I wasn't smiling back.

*Right* Wanna Play > capitalize the (P).

*Books6*
You made a salient point. Dogs (or any animal) are more likely to respond to a kind voice vs a stern one.

Thanks for allowing me a few moments to reminisce. I'd forgotten all about the times I'd struggled with my stubborn dog.

Respectively reviewed by
Damiana Matrix SPR


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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, D.K.D. I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
The title was a bit of a yawn because it was ordinary. I've heard/read it over and over again. I liked the second half of the brief description. It contradicted the usual interpretation. I wondered who was doing the looking.

*Vine2*
A reader doesn't have to appreciate the capricious nature of cats in order to enjoy your story. The first paragraph yelled, 'read me there's so much more'. Next, a question. I'm only savvy to a few feline types, so I googled 'munchkin' and learned quite a bit. So the first paragraph melds into the second. Consider moving the first line of the second paragraph to the last in the first paragraph.

*Vine1*
One of my favorite parts was the interjection of the narrator speaking to the reader. "Too long... That phrase heightens the experience, since one can now imagine who is narrating. Following that, a simple sentence adds definition to the setting. Well done.

*Vine2*
Each footfall, more graceful than the last.
comma splice.

For genres, I would suggest "supernatural or paranormal", animal, and mystery. The story didn't stir my emotions, as suggested in the first genre pick. Also, choose 'short story' to identify your work.

The ending paragraphs had a few bumps. "At that moment..." seems to be an overreaction to the 'feeling' experience. The last sentence was at odds with the story. The plot was well executed, the cat looking into the narrator's eyes. But how does the last question fit in?

Bonus: a larger font and excellent spacing of paragraphing to create white space.

Your story was descriptive and easy to imagine. Welcome to WdC and keep writing!

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, Justasapien. I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
Yours was a fascinating read. At first glance, all I saw was a block of text. I wish the font had been larger, because I had to squint to read your work. Also, there was no white space.

*ExclaimO* Do not fear. I rarely review stories formatted in this way. But I read yours, meaning you captured me and I couldn't stop reading.

*Vine2*
Due to the cramming, I'm not sure if I fully understood what was happening. I probably missed a few key points in this emotional piece. At times, I was so confused I had to skip through a few sentences. The meaning is clear for you, but I'd need a bit more explanation(?) to grasp the entire concept.

I have in my mind the word esoteric, but in definition it's not a precise fit.

You've defined this work as a 'chapter' so there must be more to help wrangle these concepts into something concrete.

*ButtonO* One nitpicky comment. The (w) in 'world' needs to be capitalized. 'Far from the World.'

*Vine1*
The conclusion somewhat put the story into perspective. It was truly a shocker. Keep writing!

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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Review of Midnight Visitor  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Purple Catching Up I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.
*Vine1*

Great title!

Your story gave me the shivers. It was well-composed with tight wording. In less than 300 words you captured the scene in vivid detail. I liked the first person POV and the gentle humour 'spoken' in the MCs inner dialogue.

*Vine2*
The progression of the plot unfolded expertly by giving a little bit here and a little bit there as the tension mounted. I was scared from the beginning.

I laughed when I read (creepy spider). Is there any other kind? Some people keep them as pets. Ick.

*Vine1*
I had almost exactly the same experience. I was visiting someone and sleeping in the guest bedroom. When I woke up, a RED spider was on his way down to ravish me. I slithered out of the bed and looked. The spider was gone. Was it in the bed? I have an almost allergic reaction to spider bites. They're so huge that after the swelling subsides, I can see the puncture marks.

The final paragraph made me feel triumphant. I don't like killing anything, but bugs are the exception.

The story was captivating and I enjoyed reading it.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, StephBee I found your item while cruising through random reviewing.

*Vine1*
The unusual title and brief description brought me to a screeching halt. I knew your story would be 'a must read'.

At first glance, I considered the possibility of an unreliable narrator. The statement was broad in scope, akin to 'all men who live here drink black coffee'. This initial niggle was clarified as the plot opened. The excellence of the coffee was well known.

First person POV stories are my favorites because we can 'hear' the MC's thoughts. I enjoyed the combination of intrigue, action, adventure, and humor. Before reading this, I'd never thought of the shape of coffee beans. Now I have to wonder if it's true. Also, the silly name Miztypoo (and no laughing at me allowed) prompted me to run a Google search.

*Vine2*
When the woman brought food to Clyde, I was certain she would reveal him as a smuggler, or steal the coffee. I was wrong, and the adventure began.

Since Bonnie had already spoken of the need for perfume, why would she later say, 'just in case'? Were the guards less likely to suspect they were smugglers?

Oops
See Grosenwitz, is snuggled
comma splice

“Perfume?” She suggested.
she suggested.

*Vine1*
Coffee outlawed? The desire of the dictator's son and the fact that Bonnie knew about it tickled my fancy. She must have seen more than a few attempts.

The smashing conclusion left me with a smile. Yours was a wonderful story that answered the prompt in a unique way. Most imaginative and impressive.

Respectfully reviewed by,
Nixie

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