Very well written piece on how to write and still enjoy parenthood. I would most assuredly agree with you 100%. Today I have little grandchildren who come to visit for a weekend or for a week and we have our special time and then there is my writing time while they nap or play. It is a joy and I'm so very glad you've found and written a very good solution.
Good luck in the contest and keep the fire burning.
My heart truly went out to you for the pain that you endured growing up. But I couldn't respect you more for pulling yourself up and coming to terms with your beginnings. That takes a strong man, and I believe you've proven that. Perhaps he thought he saw something of himself in you or perhaps that is what was missing! He wanted to see something of himself in you. Very well written story, I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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This is a very nice piece! I like the flow of the
rhythm and the words roll off as I read them.
I like the fact that you've not used much punctuation
but if you're going to use the periods after a sentence,
your next line should begin with a capital letter.
Congratulations on your writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I loved your play of words with this lovely token of your fragile beauty. You’ve expressed to the breaker to go ahead and finish the job you’ve started, it’s fragile like my soul. But there is a warning sign here that say’s, ‘I’ll go on, even when you’re gone, for I am healing, and will get well--what about you.'
Great job, great read, welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to reading more of you work very soon.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a beautiful tribute to your wonderful family! 'Three little words' and each word held so much meaning Meg. I loved the flow of each stanza, and I felt the love that went into each line. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
sincerely
Marlena
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Beautiful, touching and worthy of reading to the very end. I was so captivated by this piece and the lovely way you displayed your colors and brought them all to life. I was so moved by these lines:
'My journey, with all of its twist and turns, has brought many things to light. Love is a chance.'
Thank you so much for sharing this lovely piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
mduci
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This poem is a bit from the dark side, yet I can
still see the colors that fade from grey to black.
Your flow is very smooth and I could appreciate the
rhythm and the beat. I hope that your venting helped
you to release the pent up feelings that needed to be let out.
This verse is a favorite:
'It always goes like this
my courage forever failing.
A storm roars within me,
for you its all smooth sailing.'
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a lovely tribute to your lady. I love the colors you've brought into your painting, the flow was very moving. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
Mduci
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What a truly wonderful tribute to these very wonderful authors who've come to leave their
tiny mark upon those left behind to continue
where they left off. I find solace in visiting
their ports to partake of the kind and gifted
words that sometimes have me bending over from
laughter or buckets of tears from the love and
tenderness of their poems. Thank you for coming
up with this idea to share with their new friends
and the one's who were here and remember them well.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Welcome to Writing.Com and may I congratulate you on picking the best writing site in all the land. Such a nice tribute to WDC, I'm so happy to hear that you are happy at being a member of our great community. I believe you'll be a very nice asset to town. Thank you so much for sharing your good news and we're happy to have you. Keep that writing spirit.
Sincerely
Mduci
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You are so right about memories, of things past coming back to haunt you. And just as quickly they pass away, to live once more in a small recess in the brain. I like the way you've described this memory and I could really see your visual images very well.
Just a few suggestions that you may or may not wish to use, over all very a nice piece, thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I walk out in the sunshine, (into the sunshine)
I fall on my knees and being to cry (begin to cry)
Tears slide off my face and create a puddle on the floor. (beneath me) we know the floor is beneath you.
supressed(suppressed)
It is all this and more: 'syllables, stresses, meters, rhymes. It is a puzzle that is so totally enjoyed. You are fast turning into my kind of writer, and I like that you write on any given gender. I've loved this piece from the first line to the last, and I promise to come back and read more from your port very soon.
Your talent is a blessing and a gift.
Sincerely
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I love your desire, and I can feel the fire burning in your soul. Most writes feel that way and I'm glad
to see you feel the same as most.
Great little piece and I truly enjoyed every line.
Only one suggestion and that would to capitalize your
(I's) and of course it's only a suggestion and purely up to you.
I look forward to dropping by your port again one day soon and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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My heart is full after reading this tender tribute to your Mother.
There can never be a replacement for a mothers love,
only that love will a child remember when a mother passes away. You are about the age I was when I lost my mother my best friend and no matter the years that pass in between if still feels like only yesterday when she was there. My heart goes out to you and I know you are in the right hands just from what I've learned from your piece. Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Wow! What a beautiful poem, it makes me look forward to that very special day!
Every word and line was very real to me and I could
see each key as they hung in rows awaiting their turn to leave with the Master. Your visual painting was so beautiful and the colors magnificent. Thank you so much for sharing this one today.
Only one slight suggestion and that would be to remove
the word colored from this line:
'gray colored hair'. You've already established that his hair is gray, without the use of
colored.
Sincerely
Marlena
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I really enjoyed this little story and I love
how you characterized your characters in this
one. I could really see your visuals so clearly, and
when you describe the young girl at the camp and how
she looked then according to your main character, was
awesome the image was perfect. It sounds like a true
story or one that could have been ‘Anytown USA.’
I found not one error or for that matter nothing to fix. I enjoyed every word. Great read and thank you for sharing.
I'm sure that if books could talk they would have much to say about the reader, and how they reviewed
the work of the author inside. From this readers point of view I could have read a few more words of
wisdom from the point of view of the book, and more
circumstances he may have derived from the author, and the lessons he may have learned. But I did truly enjoy this piece and hope you'll soon have more pieces added to your port. Is there a pacific reason you did not capitalize your I's?
Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Your talent never ceases to amaze me. I've read so
much of your work and you've not failed to entertain
me with your poetry, short stories, or lovely signatures that grace so many of our pages here on the WDC. Thank you for being here and sharing your wonderful and so beloved talent.
This piece brings thoughts of needing to write, and
wanting to share the goods that is ours by nature.
Thank you! Kiya dear for being here.
love Always
Marlena
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Not only have you written a poem about the crime of
a parent against his child but also in the Pi form which in itself is such a very difficult thing to do.
The story is a heart breaker but done with such good
taste and tenderly written in order to explain the
piteousness of a man, when he takes advantage of a child. Thank you for sharing and I'll read on.
Love Always
Marlena
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This is such a lovely though bitter sweet poem, of
one looking for a ray of sunshine and hope, into a life of pain. This piece has very deep roots, and I hope that they are now blooming like the vineyard ripe for picking.
Thank you for sharing this fine piece and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
mduci
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What beautiful poetry in motion! I love this piece and can see from your ratings that others feel the same way. Every line, rhyme, rhythm and meter are
right on the beat. My favorite verse and I loved them all was this one:
'The roaring sound of silence
Yells out in whispered scream,
The lie is falsely truthful,
We fall awake to dream.'
Thank you so much for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
mduci
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Sometimes life has just got to be that way! When I
run out of words I take a walk alone, along some beach or lake depending where I'm at in the world.
Even than that girl just won't come out to play and
I may have to wait days, weeks, sometimes month's for her to show up, sometimes after taking that big vacation or cruise she still has nothing worth while to say.
But when she does I just have to milk her for all she's worth, for who knows when another burst of inspiration or a beautiful piece may come up on the scene from her mighty pen! It's just more, wait and see. Glad I stopped by; enjoyed the great little read, and welcome to Writing.Com, keep writing.
Sincerely
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