Very well written piece...with perfect meter and rhyme....The inside of one's soul can sometimes be
hard to take but you did it with simple explanations and the dialog was great...thank you for sharing this insight and welcome to Writing.Com...keep writing.
Could see you life ended
You final resting place I think you meant (your)
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
You truly said the magic words, why would one want to
change a person who was already made up from the first time one met them? Than that person is no longer a real person or them self, only what someone else wanted them to be....it's good when we can see this and know what it is to be real....enjoyed your writing very much...keep up the good job.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Yes, I can imagine his tears, his fears, the sadness of his face....The wrong that was done to extinct his race I saw in the eyes of an old man today I'm so sorry to say....Thank you for sharing this timely piece and welcome to Writing.Com...I look forward to visiting your port again.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I adore this piece and it flows just like the song...you make it speak from the inside out and that is good when one can hear the tune...great work, great piece and every line was a master piece of art. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to reading more from you very soon.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I also sing on plans while my headphones are on....trans-Atlantic, and I never stop until the plan lands! Some have called me a lot of names you don't want to know, and a few flight attendants call me a 'song bird' I'm not sure if that is bad or good but really I guess I don't care....I need to keep the pilot awake....
Big Hugs
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Beautiful tribute to a wonderful Angel, and a dear friend and sister...thank you for entering this lovely
poem in her honor and on her wonderful Birthday.
great job, lovely presentation and ever so fitting.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I like your poem very and found a nice run on words
that made the piece special:
"Hero of the Battle of New Orleans
with sailors, pirogues and Brigantines.
British attacked through the everglades.
Jean was waiting in cover to make his raids.
Red Coats were stronger by three to one,
Jean and Old Hickory put them on the run"
Great read, thanks for sharing and good luck in the
contest.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a lovely short story you've written based on the children of the civil war. Written not only for children but for adults alike, in it very sweet little tale. Well, written without any error’s and your visual pictures brought your characters into focus quite clearly. Thank you for sharing this timely story, and welcome to Writing.Com. I look forward to your continued good writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is the first of many of your works I'm bound to read and from the first note from you I could see that you are truly a wonderful person, husband and father....It was such a pleasure to read your beautiful words of love and compassion for your beautiful wife. I know that she must be a beautiful person because she found that in you....God bless and keep up the great gift you've been given.
Sincerely
Marlena
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Thank you for paying a visit to my port today, and I'm now here in yours paying a little visit to you...
I fell in love with this piece and must tell you that the visual was so lovely and you brought the young woman, the dance and even the music right up close and personnel...What I really loved was the last line, in which it seems you had been watching someone entirely different, whether or not you were, leaves the mystery for the reader to conclude. Great read...thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com....
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
A very lovely tribute to all who have something wonderful in their life to celebrate, and also to those who are having a vigil of sadness surrounding things beyond their control. Thank you for sharing this lit candle for the world as a whole! You are a blessing.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Thank you for sharing this short piece with us and bring to our attention how many were killed for these few little words the longing to be free...I hope that someday this young man will be given a prosthetic hand to prove his self free to write whatever he so chooses...
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a lovely tribute to one of America's leading Ladies, she has definitely done a lot for the young children of the world and for the people as a whole.
Her good works will not go unnoticed for as long as this world exists. Thank you for sharing this piece with us and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a little darling child you are in the photo...
Such a lovely smile and dressed for the Easter Show.
From the looks of it you should have been a little ad
model for a catalog.
Take care and thanks for sharing.
Sincerely
MDuci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Welcome to Writing.Com and thank you for sharing this lovely piece of art with us your Writing.Com community. I like your poem very much and found many words that stand out in your piece, also I like the flow and rhythm and it works fine for me. I would make but one suggestion and perhaps to center this piece and give it a plum or rose color. Just my thought...it also does well just as it is.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a strong mind and body one would have if we all lived and thought this way. I enjoyed your poem very much and these lines are stand alone without a doubt:
'But when the stronghold's broken
and the spies have been and gone,
I can put my trust in one thing -
that together we are strong'
Wonderful words to live by...God bless and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
You are mending, and your story brought tears to my eyes...for the mere fact that you became focused and reached out to your child and tended to her was your mending and God whispering you can do it. I know of other woman who have the same problem of focusing at any given time, and should their child cry out and need attention, they would be unable to give. God, bless and keep that fighting attitude and you'll always come out winning.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I love this advice and I for one will do exactly what you say! I love these lines think I'll keep them on my desk and refer to them one line at a time:
'So don't trip over those boulders
Of stress resting on your shoulders
Don't stumble over the vines
Of passing time
Step over, walk around these setbacks
And when they attack
Fight back'
Thanks for the advice and welcome to Writing.Com.
One little piece of advice, if you care to accept it
think of breaking it into stanza’s it's great.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This poem is overwhelming! Beyond your youth, and mine.
This is simply beautiful, congratulations on such a fine read. I'm looking forward to reading more from your port, and looking forward to seeing you joining some of our outstanding groups when you’re out on school break. I'll be back to visit again real soon.
Sincerely
Marlena
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
What a heart wrenching story of death in the streets!
I feel the pain of this sad story, and like the mother and family in your story, I too am a victim of loss of a young son, just months after graduating from the Police Academy, because he wanted to help fight crime he gave his young life (21) as a police officer, leaving a young wife carrying a child and a mother who mourns him to this day...When I hear of these senseless shootings and the reasons behind them for the thrill of the name and the gang, I ponder, who will be left to protect the children?
Thank you for sharing your story and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** }
Very nice piece...I don't think you needed so many
comma's or periods. I found no other errors in the piece. Maybe the end could have been more pronounced.
"Most folks think I've lost my sense." Maybe (senses) would worked a little better. Just my opinion.
Over-all good read, keep writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Thank you for this little story of how beauty can emerge from ugliness and bring so much delight to those who love to watch the butterflies dance and prance. I think this is God's way of letting us know that all is not lost, in what was but that peace will surely come to those who wait. This was a lovely story and one I remember forever. I hope you are having a wonderful Easter with the family.
Love Always
Sister
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
How joyful you've made my day today! I love the way it made me want to rush out and send thank you cards to all my wonderful family and friends here and at home, for having the pleasure of their love and friendship. I try to show them with my own love how much they mean to me, but one thing is for sure after reading this little beauty I'll try even harder....Thank you so much for sharing and I'm glad I stopped by today.
Sincerely
Marlena
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/mduci/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.47 seconds at 6:29am on Jul 04, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
