Jeff's (jeff) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

4,183 Public Reviews Given

4,312 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.

I'm good at...

Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.

Favorite Genres

I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.

701

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#3330837

Review of How Would You Review?

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Great poll, Moriarty! I voted for "polite but correct feedback." I think it's important to be honest with writers about their work (lying doesn't help them improve), and even if it's truly atrocious, I try to find something good to compliment, in addition to all the corrections and suggestions I have (just like I try to find something to improve in an otherwise excellent work). For me, reviewing is about providing honest feedback to a writer in order to help them improve their craft. The only way I can honestly do that is to provide accurate feedback... but that doesn't mean I can't be nice about it and encourage them at the same time.

702

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#3330610

Review of Action vs Horror

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Interesting poll, Mighty Sultan

, although I'm curious to know why you chose only horror and action genres, rather than a general poll about what someone's favorite genre is, among 6-8 choices. I chose both because I enjoy both the action and the horror genre... even better when a story combines both!

703

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#3329307

Review of Haiku Noir

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Miss Pageturner

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Absolutely everything

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing at all

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Every once in a while, I come across an item on WDC that leaves me completely speechless. I would have never thought to present a noir story in haiku form, and I thought you did a wonderful, remarkable job with it. This is one of those items that I'll remember for a long, long time. Outstanding work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

704

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#3329274

Review of Bittersweet Night

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

Hi kinetrix

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Great use of your inspiration

Good imagery

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

"Caution" and "motion" didn't really fit the rhyme scheme

I was hoping for a little more content

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a good effort. I'm a huge fan of film noir, and I like the fact that you captured the essence of the genre with this piece. I was hoping for a little more narrative content in the poem, since so much of film noir is based around the crime or the story being told, but other than that, I thought you did a solid job with this piece. Good work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

705

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#3329271

Review of Reveille

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi AmokTheClown

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Wonderful imagination

Interesting narrative

Intriguing character

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing that I could find

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I really liked the unique presentation of this story. If there were one suggestion I had, it would be to keep writing and expand this piece, because you've got me hooked! Great work.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

706

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14 days may be credited.

#3329260

Review of Mined, Bodied and Sold (souled...soled)

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi fyn

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Great style

Concise and effective

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Nothing that I could find

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a really great piece. It was interesting, entertaining, and really gave the reader a sense of who you are. Really great writing. Good work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

707

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#3324793

Review of Days of pain and Pleasure

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Humming Bird

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Great concept and theme

Good use of detail and description.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

A few spelling and grammatical errors ("being too quick is never smart.")

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was an entertaining, enjoyable tale with a great message about reward and sacrifice. Great job!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

708

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#3322494

Review of Bait

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi Hyperiongate

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

A lot of great detail and story packed into a scant 300 words.

Great characterization in Scott.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

None that I could think of.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

It's always a pleasure to read your work. You are the master of the sub-300 word story, and this particular tale is no exception. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

709

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#3322490

Review of Fait accompli

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi aesthete

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

The identical twin defense was a great touch.

Your characterizations of the defense attorney and Ms. Malinzi were particularly well-done.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

The ending was a little ambiguous about whether the ambulance was an accident, or intentional.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I thought this was a well-written, entertaining story. You did a great job with the characters and the progression of events at trial. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

710

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#3322489

Review of Death Chamber

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi billwilcox -

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

The tone and atmosphere of the story was excellent.

Amos LaStrom is an effectively ominous and foreboding villain.

The story was realistic and believable.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

I thought the reveal for Hawkins' character at the end was a tad bit predictable, based on the number of characters that appear in the story.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

As with all your work, this story is enjoyable, entertaining, and engaging. I always love to read your stories, particularly for the characters and general atmosphere, which are always masterfully executed. It would be an honor to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

711

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#3322485

Review of Mama, Me, and the FBI

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.0)

Hi Eliot

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

I loved the way your protagonists' journey and history tie into real world events.

Your characters were interesting and engaging.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

I thought there could be a little more tension as they drove through Oklahoma City. I wanted the suspense as they drove through, the reader wondering along with the characters, feeling sure they were going to get stopped, and then relief and amazement when they aren't.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was an interesting, entertaining story. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

712

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#3322484

Review of The greatest love story ever told

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi Port Lariat

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

The characterization of your main character was excellent.

The epistolary structure works well for this story.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

I thought there could have been a little more clarification about why the journal was excluded from evidence during the trial.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a really entertaining, engaging story. Your main character was both creepy and irresistible in his focus, and you draped a very intriguing story around his actions. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

713

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#3322482

Review of Terminal Leave

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Hi Dakota Trent

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

The setting and circumstances were well established.

The murder was surprising and unexpected.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

The story ended rather abruptly.

I was hoping for a little more explanation of what happened to Kyrkendall.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I enjoyed this story and thought it was a great setup for what could be a very intriguing and suspenseful larger story. It would be my pleasure to feature this item in the next issue of the official Mystery newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

714

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14 days may be credited.

#3321624

Review of Coin

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (2.5)

Hi Rahul

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

I like the concept of a story telling two sides of an issue.

Your characters are interesting.

You make some great points about politics, love, family, tradition, and other important thematic elements.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

I had trouble understanding the theme (and title) of the coin. Generally, the concept of the duality of a coin is used to show two sides of the same issue... but in this story, it seemed like the two "faces" of your story were largely unrelated, save for the very, very end of the first segment which briefly references the protagonist's future on the battlefield, before transitioning to the second segment about war.

There were numerous typos and grammatical errors in the story. Your vocabulary is excellent, but the context in which those sophisticated words are used needs to be polished and developed a little more to make this item a more fluid read.

Try to vary your sentence structure a little. There was a tendency to write simple, declarative sentences throughout the work; I would suggest a few compound sentences of varied structure and composition to help give the piece a feeling of diversity and complexity.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I responded to some of the Edit Points in your document with specific notes, but generally, I can appreciate what you were going for in this piece of writing. I think the execution needs some work, but the commentary on war was effective and there was clearly a lot of thought that went into this story. I think that with some further development and revision, this could be an effective written work.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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715

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#3321579

Review of Deep-Writing or Moral Argument

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Joy

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following Simply Positive review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WHAT WORKED

Great bullet-point suggestions for how to create a moral need.

Great examples from Maugham and Faulkner.

WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

Would have liked to have seen a little more discussion of writing for entertainment versus deep writing.

OVERALL IMPRESSION

I thought this was a really wonderful article that inspires the reader to push their writing further. Entertainment value is certainly important (particularly in fiction), but as writers, we often aspire to affect our audience in a deeper way than just giving them a "fun story" to read and forget about once the last page has been turned. This article did a wonderful job of articulating what those aspirations should be, and more importantly, how we can achieve those results. Great advice!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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716

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#3319800

Review of A Quiet Disturbed

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

This is the official review for the March/April round of the Sinister Stories contest. Sorry for the delay in judging; the results will be posted shortly.

I enjoyed this story. I thought you did a great job with the tone of the piece, and had some really effective, atmospheric description. All in all, this was an entertaining read. Nice job!

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Sinister Regards,

Jeff

717

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#3319453

Review of The Hunting License

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: E

| (4.0)

This is your official review for the March/April round of Beyond the Water's Edge. Sorry for the delay in getting these reviews done.

This was a really entertaining short story. I thought you did a great job with the characterization and description. This was an excellent exploration of the prompt.

Stay tuned; winners for the March/April round will be announced soon!

Best regards,

Jeff

718

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#3319448

Review of Shouldn't have done that

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

This is your official review for the March/April round of Beyond the Water's Edge. Sorry for the delay in getting these reviews done.

This was an interesting story. I like the mystery you infused into the tale, particularly the way you left the audience wondering about what Jeremy actually wrote about each of the people who were angry with him. If I had one suggestion, it would be to explain Jeremy's character in a little greater detail, to help the audience understand why he wrote this book and why he's staying in town. Other than that, I thought this was a fun, entertaining read.

Stay tuned; winners for the March/April round will be announced soon!

Best regards,

Jeff

719

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#3319445

Review of Memories of a Mississippi Summer

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with The Talent Pond

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

This is your official review for the March/April round of Beyond the Water's Edge. Sorry for the delay in getting these reviews done.

Overall, I really liked your story. It was a really powerful story, full of vivid imagery and a theme that ran throughout the piece. Great use of the prompt and excellent writing... I am enclosing a modest number of GPs with this review as a thank you for being one of the two authors who actually submitted their entry on time, before I extended the deadline. Win or lose, they're yours to keep.

Best regards,

Jeff

720

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#3305931

Review of The Girl with the Cobalt Blue Eyes

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi fyn

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I thought this was an really enjoyable story. You did a great job of setting up the mysterious girl with the cobalt eyes early on, watching everybody from town interact in the diner... and those details set up the surprising ending very well and made for a satisfying twist end. Overall, I thought this was an excellent piece, and it would be a pleasure to feature it in next week's official Mystery Newsletter. Great job!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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721

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#3305678

Review of Burned

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Scott Joseph

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I really liked this story. I thought you did a great job with the atmosphere and tone of the piece, and the twist involving Margaret at the end was unexpected, surprising, and really well executed. All in all, this was an outstanding piece and it would be a pleasure to feature it in next week's issue of the official Mystery Newsletter. Great work!

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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722

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#3305539

Review of THE LEGACY

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi tosca

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I thought you did a really good job with this story. The visual of the eight and a half million dollars was a great way to open the story, and the way you played out the wife's interaction with the police after her husband's death was well plotted and well presented. All in all, it was an intriguing story that kept me interested and engaged all the way through. Great job! It would be a pleasure to feature this item in next week's official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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723

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#3305531

Review of Dollar Bill

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi tYpO/T.Boilerman

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I thought this was a fun, entertaining story. You did a great job of setting up an intriguing premise that grabbed your reader's attention and never let go. If I had one suggestion, it would be to write more! The story ended a little abruptly for my tastes, and I definitely wanted to know what happened with the website. Other than that, I thought this was a great story, and it would be a pleasure to feature this in next week's issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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724

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#3305525

Review of Earning It All

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Joy

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I really enjoyed this story, Joy. You did a great job of setting up the twist ending and working all the elements of the story into a satisfying resolution. I would have liked to have seen a little more description of the events that happened to Janice, rather than just stating that she didn't quite remember when he bumped into her... but other than that small element, I thought this was really well written. It would be a pleasure to feature this item in next week's official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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725

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#3305509

Review of The Dress

Review by Jeff

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi twinkledee ♥'s you

-

I had a chance to read your item today, and have enclosed the following review for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following is my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

I really enjoyed this story. I thought you did a great job setting up the mystery of the dress, and keeping the reader guessing about what the significance of that dress could be. There were a couple of great twists in this story (I won't ruin it for anyone who hasn't read it), and I think your protagonist, Joe, was believable, realistic, and engaging. I would have liked to have seen a resolution to the significance of the dress, but other than that, I think this was a great piece. It would be my pleasure to feature this in next week's issue of the official Mystery Newsletter.

I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your work.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my community items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group"
"The Dark Society"
"Blogocentric Formulations"

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