Hi Sullivan Welcome to the WDC family. I hope you are finding your way around okay.
This poem tickles the funny bone with humorous words, good rhyme and good rhythm. I'm sure I must have seen you or someone like you eating in the last Mexican restaurant I was at. Of course a good enchilda will send just about anyone into an eating frenzy.
This is a wonderful poem. The rhyme and rhythm are good, but the words and they way you put them together make for excellent poetry.
There are a couple spelling mistakes to fix. In the description the word 'rediculous' should be 'ridiculous', and the word 'whithers' should be 'withers'.
This is a wonderful free verse poem about your cat. As I read, I can envision each scene you describe. That is what makes good writing. I don't feel like I am reading a poem, I am experiencing the action.
Hey there SWPoet I like this poem written in three different shapes. The words of the poem create a good image. However I think the shape of the second poem is best. The first shape is hard for me to follow. The third traditional manner of writing the words is okay, but the second form in the shape of the twisting steam is perfect to my eye and ear. The shape gives the poem a life of its own. If it was me, I'd use that one.
Well Judy, even in this day and age with more minds opening to the realiz tion of equality of races, there is still a lot of bias. Not just of races, but of station in life and economic conditions, of different ethics and ideals. It is true that death is the great equalizer.
This is a good reminder to see people 'now' as those we might just be good friends with. Thanks for all the good 'reminders' I am finding in your portfoilio today.
Hi again Judy, I enjoyed this article about the life of a Viking woman. Being one who has the soul of a warrior maiden and woman of 'Olde', I can relate to these lives. I do enjoy my comforts, but know I could have lived just as comfortably in that time.
I am enjoying my time in your portfolio. Hope it doesn't get to hectic with all of us rummaging around in here.
Judy, this again, echoes my inner being. I have 'learned to be content with what God gives me.' It also brings to mind my favorite verse from the Bible, Jeremiah 29:11, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " He is our hope and our future. Your faith once again shines brightly in your writing.
Well Judy, this poem reminded me of the day I looked at the end of my arms and wondered how my mothers hands had replaced mine.
You point out all the wondrous things a woman's hands do all through her life. It gives us a chance to reflect and appreciate what God has allowed us to experience. Thanks for that.
Oh Judy, this touched my soul.Your faith in our Father echoes my own. I am glad you shared this! It not only helped me to know a little more about you, but let me know there is someone else who shares the same realtionship with God that I do.
I'm glad you have Him to sustain you and give you peace.
Hey Judy, what cool pictures of the grandbabies. How special to have these framed as you do. I hope they are closer to you than mine are to me. I live in Michigan and they live in Minnesota and New Mexico.
Hi there, I like this poetic reminder to take things as they come, one at a time. I especially like the reference to raking faster to move more leaves, yet they fall one at a time. It sets the mood for the entire poem.
The word 'simulcast' caught my attention. It didn't look right to me so I looked it up. Yep, you spelled it correctly.
Good job, and have a wonderful one-thing-at-a-time New year.
I agree with the others who have rated this poem. It is excellent. What a perfect description of reviewing poetry. As I write this review I am immersed in the experience you so expertly portrayed.
And now I will experience what you wrote in the last two lines:
'In the ensueing darkness
fire new stars glow on the horizon'
Okay, all I can say is wow! I fought back tears as I read of the homeless hero in this short story. Good Job!!
I tried to find more words to say,(I am a a bit short of the 250 characters I usually try to write) but nothing more came to mind other than the wow I said previously.
Hey there ♥AutumnMae♥ What a deep love you must have for this man! This poem lets us in on a very personal feeling.
There is a line that needs a little editing to improve the rhythm. In the last line of the first verse, I think you could take out the words 'I have' The flow would improve without changing the intent.
In the third verse I know you were rhyming the first and third lines, but the way you did it is a little awkward sounding. Rephrasing the sentence and still ending with the word 'forbid' would make it more poetic sounding.
This is a good poem of love that could be great with a touch of editing (at least to my mind) If you decide to edit, let me know. I can change my rating.
Hello Gothic Angel gone This piece makes me count my blessings. Among them being that I don't face being depressed when things go wrong. I was not created that way.
You do a good job of letting us know what depression is like. It helps us who don't usually face it understand those who do.
In your handle you added 'rescued by Sherri Gibson'. If it's not being too nosy, how did she rescue you? She is such a dear.
Hey Legerdemain The dream you tell of here is pretty terrifying. You transfer the feelings to us in a desciptive manner. We are traveling in the car with you as you hurtle down the road toward the horrifying conclusion that has been repeated for 25 years. This brings a shudder.
What a good poem!! It matches my sentiments perfectly. In the past few years I have had to move around a little bit, yet I am content wherever God puts me. I make each place I'm at into my 'next door to Heaven'.
I like that you end each stanza with a line that finishes with the capitalized word 'HOME'.
Thank God that we can have a happy home; so many don't.
Hello, NickiD89 What a heart-touching story you tell in only 55 words. I am leaving at the end of the week to travel 1200 miles to see my new granddaughter for the first time, so this was especially touching to me.
Hello Fad This is a good poem portraying night as having 'bad intentions'. It is very descriptive and creates vivid pictures in most parts. There are a couple places that need a little more 'punch' to them.
In the second verse, the third line is rather bland compared to the rest. I would state the temperature change in different words. Maybe, 'Chilling the once balmy air' or something of that sort.
In the last verse, the last two lines need cleaning up a bit. You wrote, "Night time has come put them to rest,
missing to this day."
There are a couple things to point out in the last lines. "Night time' could be more personified if you just called it 'Night'. It would also improve the rhythm of that line. The rest of the sentence is missing the word 'to' before the word 'put'. So that line could read, "Night has come to put them to rest'. I think I would put a semi-colon after that line. It would set off the last line a little better. (Perhaps in the second verse you could delete the word "the" from before the word 'Night'. That would also help personify 'Night'.)
The last two lines could read, 'Night has come to put them to rest;
missing to this day!'
This poem makes me hear the story you want to tell. The changes I mentioned would make me feel the story you want to tell. If you do any editing, let me know. I would love to reread this. It is worth taking time out to enjoy again.
Hello, RebelGirl nice to have you aboard the 'author ship".
What a refreshing look at life without a loving mother around. Instead of turning out bitter and angry, you turned from that to being a good mother yourself. Your grandparents must have done a good job to have you turn out as you have.
We only lose when we allow the bad things to make us angry and bitter.
This is an amusing piece about Outdoor Camp. And as for the ending, well, all I can say is (to quote your campers) "Oh gross!', "That's nasty!" Although, I am an outdoor person. That is something that I probably wouldn't mind checking out.
There are two typos to fix. One is the word 'wonder' should be 'wander' The other is, you have accidently inserted a { symbol into the text.
Hello Dave Gordon. I like this poem with it's 'classic' feel to it. It sounds like something from legends passed down by storytellers, around a fire in ages long gone.
The flow is good until the next to the last line. There seems to be too many words. I think I would take out the words, 'my curious friend'.
Or, "My curious friend, you wonder'.
The same is true with the last line. There are too many syllables. You could change 'do not' to 'don't'. Although, I know that isn't what a storyteller would probably say. It would be okay with the last line as it is.
Anyway, I like this writing. If you do any more editing, let me know. I would love to read it again.
Nancy
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