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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Lew Author Icon Welcome to the Writing.Com family. I am reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Group.

You have penned feelings and questions that come with the loss of a love. Poetry is a good way to express those feelings. The rhyming pattern is followed perfectly, but the rhythm is a little off. I know that sometimes rhythm is not a priority in writing. For me it usually is, so that is why I mention it.

I'm glad you are here, providing us with new material to read and experience.

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review of FIREWORKS  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey tattsnteeth I love this picture of America celebrating the 4th of July. You have included all the elements of a typical family picnic. I know it is winter and cold and freezing outside, but it is always the right time of the year to remember and appreciate. The last line can apply to any time of the year and any holiday and any celebration. "Simply Americans enjoying tradition"

Great poem!!

Animated glittering herat Simply Positive review signature.
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Review of Faded Fears  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Jade Peterson Author Icon It's always good to have someone new join our WDC family. I hope you will find your niche here.

You have told us of a disturbing dream using mental pictures and imagery. Soon light overcomes the dark and it seems you face your fears. It is nice to read of positivity. So many now only write of the dark.

Thanks for letting me know that someone else looks for the light.

Animated blue heart with red hearts SPN group sig.
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Review of Follow Your Heart  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there Sherri, ~WhoMe???~ Author Icon won a review for herself and one each for two friends in the Knightly Holiday Auction. She chose you for one of them.

What a positively positive poem. You tell us to follow our heart, chase our dreams and let love for our brothers be our inspiration. Wonderful advice!! And you give us that advice in a poetic manner. Just what is needed as we start out on a brand new year.

I love daisies
Daizy Sp Sig
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Review of WHAT A WASTE  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh, SHERRI GIBSON Author Icon, what a poem full of regret. How sad that all the wonders of life went unnoticed. I hope that since this was written, time has been set aside to appreciate all the pleasures which come along.

I like the repeat of the phrase at the end of each three-line verse. It emphasizes the theme of this poem.

Good job, my sweet!!

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey Harry Author Icon Even though there are spots where this didn't flow as easily as I would have hoped, it is a wonderful poem. There is a loose rhyming pattern that fits pretty good.

I got a good chuckle from this. My brother is here. I read it to him. He grinned pretty big too. He said he knew that puberty was going to hit someone before I got to the end. We both enjoyed this immensely.

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review of Circle of Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey there ♥HOOves♥ Author Icon Congrats on your inclusion in the selected reviews for Simply Positive.

What a beautiful tribute to your mother. You have a reminder of her in the flowers that blossom each year. Touching!

Being one for strict rhyming the words 'far' and 'stars' bothered me a bit. However, the beauty of the sentiment in this poem
makes it okay.

This brings to mind the single daisy I found in the field in November at a time I needed to feel special. Thanks for that memory.

I love daisies
Daizy Sp Sig
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey there, I like this little island in a 'sea of hubbub' you have created. Dreaming on a mall bench isn't something everyone can do. It sounds like you do a good job of it.

You let your reader travel with you on your journey to serenity; serenity that is produced by thoughts of a loved one.

The rhythm of this piece is one steady flow. You don't change gears with a stop and a start. You just ride the flow smoothly to the end. I like that.

This is a good one!!

Daizy

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Review of Be my everything  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good morning Chris, at least it is when I am writing this.

You have opened your heart in this poem of love. That is one of the greatest gifts a person can give someone.

When I first read this, I didn't like the phrase 'makes my heart flutter.' I thought is sounded a bit trite. But upon reading again, it makes perfect sense. That phrase describes how a person feels when love is blooming into it's fullness.

I like the use of bold letters for the beginning letters of each line in this acrostic, with the rest of the letters italicized. It has a unique look.

There are a couple errors to attend to. In the first two lines, the word 'your' should be 'you're'. And I think the word 'with-in' should be written without the hyphen... 'within'.

This is a wonderful poem expressing how you feel. May it touch the one you love.

*Xmastree*

I love daisies

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Review of For Ratchett  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Miguel, You have my deepest sympathy. We also had a mini-daschund which we raised from the time she was 6 weeks old. She too, is no longer with us.

This is a wonderful way to, as they say, 'get it all out'. The pictures you included are precious. I'm sure looking back at this piece wil bring you much comfort.

Since it is impossible to send real flowers, here are some gps instead.

Another Daizy
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey, way to go!!! I admire your adventuresome spirit. You went after something you wanted and ended up having the time of your life. Although, I suppose you didn't get much done on your laptop.

I like the style in which you wrote. There wasn't one moment of wishing I hadn't started to read this. I even chuckled at the end. I've read a lot this morning that has made me chuckle. Thanks for adding to the list.

Another Daizy
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Legerdemain Author Icon I like reading older pieces. I see this was posted in 2004.

What a touchiing Mother's Day story! It not only appeals to children, but to us mother's as well.

When I first scanned this story I missed the word 'nest' and thought it was going to be about a wayward child. I wondered why the child was digging up acorns. Then I missed the word 'paws'. So I was still expecting a weird child until about the middle of the story. So, I had to go back and start over again. This time I read more thoroughly.

That is when I thought, "Awww!"

Another Daizy
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Review of Worse For Wear  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Sorry to bug you again, but the random read dice seem to think I need to read your stuff. This time it is a ballad of sorts about a treasured pair of boots. They serve you through pleasant times and bad ones as well. Too bad they had to face a watery demise.

You are very versitile in your styles of writing. I like them all.

From Simply_Complex
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Review of Sand Bag Wall  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Here's another poem of yours that came up using the random read dice. You certainly do draw good mental pictures. It's almost like watching a movie.

I think you need to check your spelling of the word 'leeves'. I think it should be 'levees'.

I know this is short but what I wrote first says it all, so I will repeat. You certainly draw good mental pictures.

I love daisies
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Review of Golden Meadow  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, here's a pleasant picture you painted. It is refreshing to read of natures beauty. There is so much pain and despair in the world to be written down.

The imagery of the bees in the meadow is quite vivid. The flow and rhythm match the flight from flower to flower. And I see you mentioned a daisy in there. That should gain an extra point, but 5 stars is all I can give.

I have to buzz along now!!
Another Daizy
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Review of Winter Touches  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey there Fyn Author Icon, Talk about imagery! This is full of it. The pictures you drew with words are absolutely vivid.

Sometimes, as the saying goes, less is more. The snapshot of each side to winter is given in 47 words(I counted them). And each description leaves a clear picture in my mind.

Using the blue color also puts me in the 'winter mode'.

Excellent work!!!!!

I love daisies
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey Just an Ordinary Boo! Author Icon Thanks for the chuckle. I mean it. I chuckled right out loud.

Having those monstrous yellow teeth actually be.....well I won't say it here(don't want to ruin it for others). But anyway what they really were was very chuckle-producing. And the picture you included at the end was, for lack of a better word, kind of yucky.

Thanks for the fun reading.

I love daisies
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Review of The Garden Statue  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Why Harry Author Icon this storoem gave me goosebumps of the touched-by-the-divine kind. I came upon it using the random read dice. I am putting it in my favorites to share during the Christmas holidays.

It has the 'feel' of a classic written by masters of days gone by. Its good to see we still have masters writing in days of now.

Daizy May #21
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Review of Waves  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Sophy Author Icon Congratulations on being included as one of the reviewees in the Simply Positive Forum.

Your short poem makes good use of simile, comparing heartache and grief to being pounded by a wave at the beach.

I am wondering if the lack of a capital letter at the beginning was on purpose. It would seem okay to except for the period at the end.

I see this is an older piece. I enjoy comparing older 'stuff' with newer 'stuff' Thanks.

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Review of Rustle of Silk  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Adore lol♥ Author Icon This is the first of the poetry reviews you won in the Heart to Heart Auction.

I see this poem was part of the "Hunt for the Roses 2008".

I love that you likened the sound of his voice to silk. That is very sensual.

You have said a multitude in thirty very expressive words.

Good job!!

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there RCParrish Author Icon This little instructional essay on how to fall off a log gave me a good chuckle. I like the format, with it's introduction, three steps and a conclusion.

You are right, I think the trickiest part is actually falling off the log. You can't really try to fall, you end up jumping. So as you conclude "falling off a log isn't really as easy as it sounds.

Thanks for the giggle.

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well now, Fyn Author Icon. I'm glad I didn't read this before I posted my entry in
 Nine, Nine, Nine! Open in new Window. (13+)
Celebrate WDC's 9th B'day with this unique contest run by Team India! The theme is: NINE.
#1599157 by Dr Taher writes again! Author IconMail Icon
or I might not have entered. This is amazing. You way more than followed the prompt to use the number 9 as many times and ways as possible. I especially am impressed by the use of the word 'be9'.

The only thing that made me give you four and a half stars was the lag in the rhythm in lines 21 and 22.

Good luck in the contest. I think you are a winner!!

Daizy

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Review of Tech-No-Type  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Soldier_Mike Author Icon Lately I have been fascinated by '55 Word Stories'. I have written one, but it was only fascinating to me.

I like your story. What a (dare I say cute) tongue-in-cheek ending you came up with!! You have done a good job. I am inspired to keep trying.

Keep 'em coming our way.

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review of with wings  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there Tuesday Mourning Author Icon I hope you're finding your way around okay.(I like your username, by the way)

I like this poem. It describes being lost in dream and fantasy very well. In the third line you say that your mind 'floats and wonders'. I like the choice of the word wonder. It could have been the word 'wander' and still fit. But the word 'wonder' shows an active mind, not just one sitting stagnant.

There are a couple things to edit. First, you need to set the content rating. Second in the last verse, the word 'i' should be an upper case 'I'.

Keep writin' em, I'll keep readin' em.

Daizy Sp Sig
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Review of Eyes wide open  Open in new Window.
Review by Daizy May Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello there KYMAX Author Icon This speaks of a 'sad state of affairs' . Not being able to please the one you apparently want to please the most. It gives the message that we need to love those around us.

There are a few grammatical errors and typos that need editing.

Line 1: 'wiyh' should be 'with'
Line 2 and 11: the word 'dont' needs an apostrophe, 'don't'
Line 4: should read 'the clouds go passing by'
Line 18: the word 'anyones' should have an apostrophe because it shows ownership, 'anyone's'.

My favorite line is 'But it's a sad day when you find out that all the best chapters in the book of life don't have you in it'.
That is a very creative way of getting your point across.

This is a good item. With a little work, it could be a great item.

Another Daizy
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