Hey there Oldwarrior, what a wonderful poem. It has the feel of classic poetry. And it rhymes!! The rhythm adds to the classic feel.
You show a good knowledge of history with your jaunt through the history of the eternal soldier, from the myth of Achilles to both the American soldier and the Viet Cong at the Tet Offensive and at Khe Sanh.
My brother PSanta-I'm ba-ack! says he has read your work and he agrees with me.
Ah, this is a wondrous walk through the woods. First I'll comment on technical stuff, then I'll tell you how I enjoyed this walk.
The rhyming pattern followed through the entire poem. The rhythm was good. I saw no errors in grammar or spelling.
Now I will gush over how it made me feel. This could have been a walk through the woods behind my house on our 140 acres; the worn trail, the fallen trees, the woodpeckers drumming and on and on. Your words took me on a nostalgic journey. The last two words perfectly describe being in the woods: 'wondrous bliss'.
Well what a fun poem this was to read!! I had to read it twice, one time out loud to get all the plays on words you included.
The rhyming two line verses were perfect for this.
It was a humorous trip through the words with these two fauns. And the ending brought quite a chuckle.
Ah yes, the cold weather nap out doors. Reading of your winter nap on the frozen ground reminded me of mine. Only it was at my deer blind made of branches from the woods, and I was sitting on a five gallon pail leaning against a tree. The warm sun was wonderful.
I love these stories of your life. The way you write makes me wish I could do the same. I may have to give it a try.
Hey there, I'm reading 'stuff' about coffee tonight. This poem is a good reminder that whoever we may be, whatever our lot or position in life, millions of us of have one common thread that draws us together; coffee starts our day. I think that if we could get all the world together one morning to share a cup of coffee, all war and hatred would cease. What do you think?
I haven't used the phrase 'vivid imagery' in quite a while. It applies to this poem. It transported me to a place in my past. I was walking around our 140 acres in the country. I heard the squirrels scolding. I saw the deer heading to the pond.
I usually look for rhyme, but didn't even notice as I read the first time. Rhyme didn't seem to matter. I had to read again to see if it had rhyme. The piece flowed along beautifully. I was totally immersed in experiencing the tableau you created.
Hey there, what an excellent poem. The title drew me. I was not disappointed. And it rhymes!! To me rhyming is important for poetry and so is rhythm. Both are done very well in this poem.
You exhibit a creative mind. Who would have thought of calling a brilliant sunset 'Winter's fire'?
Good use of the picture prompt which you included at the end.
Hi there audrey I found your plug for this poem on the Shameless Plug Page. It reminds us that we need to figure out which side of the fine line we will live on; the side where we wear a mask or the side where we show the real us.
The rhyming pattern is good. The flow bogs a little in the last line. To me it feels like there are a couple extra syllables. If I may suggest a change, "which road you should take." seems to fit. And as always we all have our own points of view.
One other thing you might want to fix is in the description. The word 'your' should be 'you're'.
Hi Dave, It's Daizy again. I should have read this before I read your other pieces of writing. It gives a little background to who you are. I always appreciate reading about the authors. It provides a little more understanding of their writing.
There is a typo and a couple punctuation spots to fix. You left the letter 'u' out of the word 'fourth'. There is no period at the end of the next to last sentence. There are a couple places that need a space after a comma. And for me it would be visually better to have a space between the next to last and last sentence.
Rancher Dave, milking a cow is one thing I have never done. Never had the opportunity. Besides I'm terrified of them. When I was little I was in my uncle's barn with him and Dad. A cow looked down at me and mooed in my face. Being a city girl at the time, this scared the daylights out of me. I was up in my Dad's arms without him having to bend and pick me up. Been scared of them ever since.
My trip through your portflio has been a joy. I am saving the rest for another day. I will be back.
I'm sending lots of gift points to thank you for my evening spent pleasantly.
Alright, there is poetry in here. And good poetry it is too. And it rhymes. I am a rhyming poet so I notice things like that. And it is a good subject; "Friends or more?"
You are a many talented Rancher. You know how to work hard to make a good life, you write short stories, you write poetry.
You are a wonder.
Oooo Spooky, Dave! I got goosebumps reading this one. I'm glad I got to chuckle first at a couple of the others I read. It makes you wonder sometimes when we face the unexplained. It does make one question if all we pass on the street are real or not.
Well Dave, this got another chuckle out of me. No, it was more like I laughed right out loud. What a great story about your neighbor who solved all his problems the 'easy' way. The way the daughter's boyfriend problem got solved was priceless.
My husband solved our problems by cleaning his shot gun when they came to pick our daughter up for a date.
Hey Dave, this one reminds me of my exploit with the shrew that got into the house and dined on the dogs kibble for days. The dish was down the hall from the bedroom. I could lay on the foot of the bed and see it. I laid there with a BB gun and picked it off one day. How dumb was that inside the house? I'm a good shot though.
I am enjoying my meandering through your porfolio. Your writing is what they call 'home spun' and I like it!!
Oh how I envy your way of life. I would have loved to live as you did; meat hanging from beams, fresh butter and milk. I could even have butchered. I am a deer hunter (and I am a women). I have shot, gutted and butchered venison for the freezer.
Oh my, what a heart rending story. It affected me quite deeply. My mother's heart ached for the mom her lost her son to a lightning strike out there in the hills. My son is a little older than hers was.
You don't seem to use a lot of words, but the images come across vividly. The thoughts just flow onto the page and into my mind.
Hey Dave, This piece makes me want to be where you are. I'm not sure what area of the country, but if you have a mine on your property it must be awesome. It's wonderful that you can live where your family has for many years.
As you related this story, I could see the mountain and mine. I could smell and feel the cool damp air coming from the entrance.
This makes me think I need to try a hand at short stories.
Okay Rancher Dave. I just want you to know I am for the most part a poet and review mainly poetry. It's time to branch out into other areas to review. I chose your portfolio because well, because there is no poetry here.
I'm glad I chose this item first. It gave me quite a chuckle. That helps me to want to read more of your 'stuff'.
Just before I read this I had taken off my 'specs' and tried to read what was on the screen of my laptop. I can understand the mistaken identity on the cell phone.
Hi Anastasia In honor of Australia Day, I am reviewing Australian authors today.
This poem is about Ireland, which is one of my favorite subjects. I am of Celtic decent so writing about Eire touches my soul. This didn't disappont me. You describe one facet of Irish life with wonderful images. I felt I had traveled there for just a moment in time.
SWPoet This was great! I love the personification of silence in this poem. I had never looked at it from this angle. What you have to say here is so apt for today's busy life. You let us know that Silence is always there, waiting for us. And putting the words of Silence in italics makes it more understandable.
I like the 'feel' of this poem. It gave me something to ponder.
You included the syllable pattern at the end. I counted most of the lines. It appears you followed the pattern to a ' T '.
Meg, now I am in a folder of acrostics you have created. There are several subjects here, among them are Rain, Ocean, Athletes etc. There is a wide spectrum of topics.
I have a hard time with Acrostics and Haikus, so appreciate reading pieces from those who can.
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