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 |  Breaking the laws of blogging, one entry at a time. |
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Wanted: For repeated blog faux pas, including, but not limited to: Obsessive ranting - guilty on 92 counts. Repeatedly beating a dead horse - guilty on 17 counts. Unnecessary use of curse words - guilty on 142 counts. Boring daily recounts - guilty on 45 counts. Pointless entries - guilty on 214 counts. Contradictory statements - guilty on 72 counts. Recounting toilet actions - guilty on 15 counts. Overdramatization of insignificant things - guilty on 152 counts. Overreacting to meaningless gestures - guilty on 22 counts. Unnecessary temper tantrums - guilty on 75 counts. Cruelty towards animals, superiors, peers, and inferiors - guilty on 146 counts. Repeated bad grammar, spelling, and opinionations - guilty on 214 counts. Suspect is considered armed and dangerous. Do not confront directly, instead call the authorities and slowly back away. Do not provoke suspect, as she is easy to agitate. The best action to take is to smile and nod. Any other response could lead suspect to rant and rave for days without ceasing. REWARD OFFERED FOR CAPTURE Dead or alive. Offending evidence: ![Merit Badge in Journaling
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Given for penning the favorite response entry in the Follow the Leader contest with "Come Again?"](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Journaling-2180.gif) (Exhibit A) ![Merit Badge in Variety
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Because I never knew what to expect from your Follow the Leader entries, but I'm oh so glad you played!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Variety-2500.gif) (Exhibit B) (Exhibit C) ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I've been a bit disillusioned with life lately. I love being a Mom, and I love being able to watch my son grow up, but there's only so much stimulating conversation you can have with an 18-month old. Part of me wishes he could speak something other than Ethanese because the babbling only keeps me going for so long. Not to mention that I seem to have very little time to actually sit down and think about things. You know, things I like, things I hate, things that make me happy, and things that make me sad. Instead, I spend most of my time chasing around a rugrat and keeping him out of trouble. My vocabulary has shrank from thousands of words to about seven. "No, don't do that." and "Get out of there." OK. So maybe that's 8, but still. Granted, I get to expand my vocabulary several times during the day by reading various Doctor Suess books. Ethan seems to think that Fox in Socks is especially good for my vocabulary. That, or One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. Oh, how I miss the days of Steven King. I haven't been able to go to Weight Watchers for a while, so I don't even have that to concentrate on. If I don't have the weigh-ins to keep me honest, then I don't tend to think about what I eat or how much exercise I do. I should, but I don't. Then there's opinions, of which I normally have zillions. But I don't care to form them or express them, for some reason. I don't think its that I don't have time. I'm just too lazy. I think a person sinks to a new low when she won't even take the time to form an opinion about something because she doesn't feel like it. That would require thinking, of which I only have time to do when I'm in the shower or taking a shit. And lately my shits been sliding out of me like a greased pig so I've even been robbed in that department. So what about the shower, then? I should have plenty of time to think about things in the shower. Unfortunately for me, most of my time in the shower is spent figuring out what housework I need to get done before E wakes up from his nap. Basically, I've screwed myself in that area, too. It used to be OK before, though, because I would be able to make up thinking time while I was taking my shit. I'm not bored with life. Maybe I'm bored with routine. I'm tired of doing the same damned thing day in and day out. I'm not tired of my son, mind you, or the fact that I get to enjoy watching him grow from a baby into a little boy. I'm just tired of monotony and standing still. I've had nothing to look forward to. Nothing to plan for. Nothing to excite me. Nothing to fuel my fire. I'm stagnant, and I hate it. And what the fuck have I done about it? Nothing, because when I do try it doesn't pay either. I'd rather sit and fucking whine about how few jobs there are to apply for, and I've gotten myself in a mind set where I don't even bother to send my resume and a cover letter for half of them because I don't get any responses anyway, so why should I even try? At least I can't be rejected if I don't put myself out to be rejected. If I weren't so damned hormonal, this probably wouldn't piss me off, but it does. And I'm angry with myself because I can't get the motivation to really put myself out there and have a life. I could if I really tried, but I don't even want to bother trying because it hasn't seemed to work for me when I do try. So then what do I do? Nothing. Because nothing breeds nothing. And I should be happy in my little world of nothing where I have nothing interesting to talk about and nothing interesting to do. But I'm not, because I've never believed I was destined for nothingness. I was destined to be someone and something. I just need to be introduced to myself again, I think. I've lost touch with her and I think she's changed addresses without telling me. But then again, I would abandon me, too, if I could. I drive myself crazy. And yes, I know this is something better suited for my journal, but I don't care. I'm too lazy to open that one up and move this over there. If you don't like it, you can lick my hairy asshole. To be honest, I really just wanted to use that phrase. About the hairy asshole. |
| Oh. I've forgotten to mention in the past few months that the damned neighbors next door foreclosed on their house and had to move out. They've been gone since about the middle of July. In that time, the bank has cleaned more and mowed more than the people who originally lived there. The landscaping company even mowed in the rain the other day! Now that's dedication. Right now, there's a couple of guys throwing all of the shit in the garage into a trailer. One of them also went into the house and took pictures. No, I'm not that nosey that I'm watching their every move. I've been in the sunroom since my last journal entry, making some cards and such. I can see the front door from where I sit, and when you see someone going into a house that's empty, you take notice. I called J and asked him if that meant that someone had bought it. He said no, but it's getting ready to go up for auction. It's in the HUD system, so it can't become rental property, but it can be bought to be fixed up and resold. At least I'm hoping it's still in the HUD system. If not, and we end up with tenants next door, it's going to be a fun experience. I doubt it, though, because even if the house wasn't a HUD house, the market over here doesn't do well for rentals. Here's to hoping for better neighbors. |
| So you want me to write a fucking entry that doesn't have to do with anything that is my life? Nothing about domestication? Learn how to read and maybe you'd find things that have nothing to do with cleaning the house or taking care of my child. BUT, since I know you're too fucking lazy to scroll down and read shit, I'll recap you on other entries that I guess you have neglected to READ. And maybe some stuff I haven't written in the blog, at least for a while. I deleted blog entries yesterday. I'm also thinking about changing the name of the blog to "Repeat Offender" but I'm not sure if it will be the name that sticks. I'm bored with this name so I need to find something new soon. I like coffee. So much so that as soon as I'm done writing this entry I'm going to get off my ass and go to Big Apple Bagel for some joe. I know that's nothing exciting to the likes of the ape man, but I enjoy my coffee when I can get it. I took a shit today. It was another one of those where I was driving and got the fast realization that the fart that kept feeling like it wanted to push out was actually a big fucking turd waiting to be shot out of my ass like a bullet. And it stunk to high heaven. I even gagged myself and everything. Ethan took a shit today, but I didn't have to change it since he was at his Grandma's house and I was on my way out. It was way more wretched than anything that could have ever come out of my ass. My son makes me proud. Allergy season sucks. I still have mucous drainage that is driving me crazy. And it makes it hard for me to find anything appetizing to eat, since my stomach is so shot up with phlegm that its doing somersaults. Part of me wonders if I'm pregnant again because of how tired I've been and the fact that I made myself gag by the smell of my own feces. That usually never happens, and the tired thing is just weird. But I have about a week before my period is due so it could also just be PMS. I wish I could find a fucking job so that I could have a fucking life outside of this house, but I cannot because the job market in Michigan is about a dried up as Death Valley. I'm lucky if I can find one job a week to submit a resume to. Obviously, since I'm experienced in the computer industry, submitting resumes to places just wanting administrative assitance has been futile. Every place like that has basically told me I'm overqualified. I really fucking hate being told I'm overqualified for something that I've never done much of before in my life. I have to take a piss now. Then I'm going to go get my fucking coffee. It will probably make me shit again. Because coffee is a laxative to my digestive system. |
| My sinuses are draining all over the place. I pulled a muscle in my neck this morning from sneezing over and over again. Five sneezes in a row! What the fuck? Now I can't turn my head to the right without wincing and I can't afford to go to the chiropractor twice in one week. Today is going to be Mommy's day off. Ethan and his Grandma are going to spend the day together doing all kinds of fun stuff. After he's done eating breakfast, anyway. You know, it's funny. About 10 months ago, I couldn't stand to be away from him for a few hours. Now when Jason's Mom calls and asks if she can have Ethan for the day, I'm like, "What time do you want him over there?" LOL. Not that I don't love spending time with him, but it's nice to have some time to myself or to be able to do something as simple as folding laundry without having to fight off a bulldozer little boy who wants to unfold it all, put it in a pile in the middle of the floor, and jump in it like a bunch of leaves. Alright. Bulldozer boy is done with his breakfast, and God forbid that I make him wait a couple of minutes after he's decided he wants out of his high chair.  |
Uhm... I purged my blog today. I start to panic when I get more than 300 entries in something that I frequently write in. It took me forever to fill up my first journal, and now I write in here to prevent my second journal from being filled. Only I started to panic when I saw this one was close to being filled, too.  I'm under 200 entries, now, because everything I deleted was either useless, boring, pointless, or stupid. Although some that were left could fall under those categories, but they meant something to me so they're sticking around until I get the next deletion hair up my ass. I need to go to bed. I can barely hold my eyes open. But I wanted to get my blog cleaning done before I could procrastinate it any longer. I also was thinking about renaming this thing (again). Something like Repeat Offender. Because that's what I am. Only I need a header for it. Maybe one made by Jedi Moose  because he's my favorite person to have make artsy type stuff for me.That depends on if I decide on that as my final title. OK. My eyes are watering because I'm so tired. I better go to bed now. |
| I'm exhausted. I don't know quite why, but I have very little energy the past couple of days. I've been getting up earlier, so I can see Jason before he goes to work, but I've also been going to bed earlier to make up for the fact that I don't get that extra hour or so in the morning. Not staying up until 11 pm feels so weird, especially since I've been doing it for a long time... since Ethan was about 3 months old! My boobs hurt today, too. Maybe its PMS coming early. I always get tired around that time of the month. I was talking to Richelle on the phone before I put Ethan down for his nap. We were talking about how our husbands need to be woken up by screaming, shouting, and in a general gruff manor. Sunday, I let Jason sleep in a little bit. I was thinking he would wake up in the next half our or so, and an hour later he was still asleep! I went in a couple of times after that and asked him when he was getting up, rather nicely. He replied, sleepily, that he would get up in a few minutes. Fifteen minutes later, I took Ethan in and tossed him in the bed on top of J.  He woke up, and was happy. Anything involving Ethan, and he cannot get angry. He can't so no, either.Now if he were to try it the other way around, it wouldn't work. First of all, I'm one of those kind of people that once you get me awake, I can't go back to sleep. And if I wasn't ready to wake up and you were mean to me, I'm going to be a first class bitch the rest of the day, if only to you. So, the entire situation would not have happened. But let's say that I am, for some reason, not sleeping like my normal self and Jason tosses Ethan on me while I am in slumber. While I would not be pissed off at Ethan, or even yell at Ethan, Jason would be on my shit list for the rest of the damned day, and I would be a class AA bitch to him. While I love my son, my ideal way of being woken up would not be to have him tossed on top of me like a sack of potatoes. Now, J knows that this is not the way to wake me up, so he's been waking me up in the mornings by climbing in bed, snuggling up against me, and kissing my neck and ears. Then after I start making awake noises (I grunt and other ridiculous things), he gets out of bed and leaves me alone. He knows in the next few minutes I'll get out of bed and come join him in the living room. If he were to do it any other way, he probably wouldn't survive the week. LOL. |
| It was supposed to be sunny today, but... uh... it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Ethan was begging me to go outside and play yesterday. Standing at the window, pointing to the ball on the patio, saying, "Side... side... side! Momma! Side!" Momma replies, "Buddy, we can't go outside and play! It's raining!" "Momma! Side!!!!" *Insert torrential temper tantrum here.* Finally Jason gets home. Then it goes from, "Momma! Side!" to "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Side! Side! Side!" So Jason got to deal with his insistance to go outside and play, and a second temper tantrum that ensued from that. It's odd because he doesn't usually throw tantrums, but I guess he really wanted to go outside and play yesterday. And it doesn't look like he's going to get the chance to do it today, either. We watched the Backyardigans episode where the penguin dude is a yetti, and runs around going "Yetti, yetti, yetti!!!" LOL. Ethan loves that episode for some reason. He ran around yelling, "Yetti, yetti, yetti!" at the top of his lungs for about a half an hour after the episode ended.  Anyway, it looks like it's going to be another day like that. Where he begs to go outside, and I can't because of the rain, and I end up turning on the tv because he's going nuts with boredom. Blah. |
| I got this from Deelyte- Chillin' who got it from kittiara... I dunno if Kitti got it from someone else... there's usually 100 degrees of who got it from whom. http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php I used a photo similar to this one, except I was facing the camera full frontal:   My results were: 1) Michael Bergin. A male, but honestly he is a little girly looking. 2) Alison Loman. I have no clue what she's famous for, but she's blonde and quite pretty.  3) Ayelet Zorer. I have no clue what she's famous for, either, and she's actually kind of manly looking. After looking at the info on her, she's an Israeli actress. 4) Sophia Loren. Another manly looking woman. But she's from the 30s and the photo they showed had her with a short haircut so maybe with longer hair she wouldn't be so manly.5) Alicia Keys. You know. The singer. I don't know where they see that resemblence because I honestly don't think I could hold a candle to her. 6) Sinead O'Conner. Let me shave my hair bald to make sure!7) Julianna Margulies. That chick from the show ER. I think we have the same chins. LOL. 8) Boy George. !!!! Well, he is another girly boy.9) Laura Bush. Damned Republicans. Always ruining my fun. 10) Jordana Brewster. That's the girl from The Fast and the Furious. I think we have the same thick ass eyebrows. Here's my link, I think. http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/face-recognition-results.php?database=1&tem... |
| I hate this feeling of having to rush around and get stuff done. Actually, the rushing didn't occur until I was on my way home, really. But I took Jason lunch today and he stressed me out. I'm not going to take him lunch on a Monday ever again. Ethan's gone up 2 shoe sizes in about 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks ago, I noticed that his size 5's were squeezing his feet, so I went and bought him a pair of sandals and tennis shoes in size 6. Then yesterday, I was putting his size 6 tennis shoes on, and noticed that they, too, were squeezing his feet. While his sandals still seem to fit OK, his tennis shoes are not. His big toe pushes against the edge of the toe. So, off we went this morning to get him a new pair of tennis shoes (or 2 if I couldn't find something that worked well with black and brown). I was thinking that he would probably be in a 6 1/2 or so, but when I tried them on, they were barely big enough. There was only about 1/2 a thumb between his big toe and the end of the toe on the shoes. So I tried a size 7 on him, thinking they would fall off, but there was little more than a thumb's distance! Shocking, really. I ended up getting him 2 pair. One brown pair that's uber cute and one black/dark blue pair. The browns are slip on, which are convenient since you don't have to worry about him tripping over his shoe laces, and the other are velcro, which I'm not particularly fond of. But the straps were thin enough to not look cheesy, so I was OK with them. I'm just one of those Moms who won't buy the cheesy Bob the Builder or Spiderman velcro shoes. I hate them! Then off we went to take Jason lunch. We got pizza from Little Caesar's. Somehow I managed to hit every light and not get caught in a line at the drive-thru, so I got to his office about 10 minutes early. That's what lead to me having to deal with his pissy attitude. It isn't my fault that school starts next week and all of the districts are clambering to pass state inspections! Or that he installed a power operator at a hospital in Fennville and someone fucked with it and now he has to go back this week and fix it! Or that he couldn't get the plastic off of his Locknetics exit device. By the time we got out of there, I felt like I needed a beer, and I was only there about a half an hour. Then on the way home I started to get the urge to take a poo, and that is really what made me feel rushed. You know that stomach-gurgling, turtle-heading, fear of farting kind of urge? Yeah. That's what I was feeling. To make matters worse, I had to hold it in while unlocking the front door, changing Ethan's diaper, getting him down for his nap, and giving the dogs a bone. When I finally sat down on the toilet, it shot out of me like a musket ball out of a muzzle loader. Well, except my ass was the firing device and the poo was the bullet. I don't think I've ever shat so fast in my life. Anyway, enough of that shit. No pun intended. It's finally raining. We've gone quite a while without rain. Most of my flowers died because of the heat and dry conditions. Maybe this will rejuvenate the ones that were near death. Otherwise, I'm starting to get a nice pile of dead flowers in my compost pile. It makes for good fertilizer, but pretty soon I won't have much to fertilize. |
| http://www.wwmt.com/engine.pl?station=wwmt&id=29612&template=breakout_local.html... Jason found out about this last night, and he's kind of shaken up about it. The guy who was piloting the plane had just been in his office yesterday morning before they departed. Jason keyed a new lock for him to take to the Bahamas to put on their house because their other lock had malfunctioned. They bantered back and forth for about fourty-five minutes, talking about their weekend plans and Ward's trip to his Bahama house. It was just a normal conversation, like they always have when Ward comes for something. Jason is pretty sure his boss will take it harder, because he and Ward had been doing business together for about 30 years. Ward would come in and chat with Gene for hours. Jason said that whatever storm they hit must have been pretty bad, because Ward was a really good pilot. He was constantly flying and really loved being up in the air. It was really Ward's passion to fly. I feel bad for Jason and for Ward's family. The Walters were a very generous and respected couple in this area. I never met him, but Jason speaks highly of him and was pretty upset to find out that it was he and his wife who were killed yesterday. It's just a reminder to take nothing for granted. Any person that you meet or see today could be the last time you see them. Make sure that you enjoy their company and not leave on a bad note. |
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