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 |  Breaking the laws of blogging, one entry at a time. |
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Wanted: For repeated blog faux pas, including, but not limited to: Obsessive ranting - guilty on 92 counts. Repeatedly beating a dead horse - guilty on 17 counts. Unnecessary use of curse words - guilty on 142 counts. Boring daily recounts - guilty on 45 counts. Pointless entries - guilty on 214 counts. Contradictory statements - guilty on 72 counts. Recounting toilet actions - guilty on 15 counts. Overdramatization of insignificant things - guilty on 152 counts. Overreacting to meaningless gestures - guilty on 22 counts. Unnecessary temper tantrums - guilty on 75 counts. Cruelty towards animals, superiors, peers, and inferiors - guilty on 146 counts. Repeated bad grammar, spelling, and opinionations - guilty on 214 counts. Suspect is considered armed and dangerous. Do not confront directly, instead call the authorities and slowly back away. Do not provoke suspect, as she is easy to agitate. The best action to take is to smile and nod. Any other response could lead suspect to rant and rave for days without ceasing. REWARD OFFERED FOR CAPTURE Dead or alive. Offending evidence: ![Merit Badge in Journaling
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Given for penning the favorite response entry in the Follow the Leader contest with "Come Again?"](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/type-Journaling-2180.gif) (Exhibit A) ![Merit Badge in Variety
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Because I never knew what to expect from your Follow the Leader entries, but I'm oh so glad you played!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Variety-2500.gif) (Exhibit B) (Exhibit C) ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I am soooo glad that I got my flying done before this terrorist plot. Holy hell. I'm tired of hearing about it already and it's only been a day. |
| I feel like I've run a marathon or something. Everything hurts. My hair hurts, my skin hurts, my neck and shoulders, my stomach hurts, my legs and knees and ankles and fingers. It all hurts. The only thing that's nice is that I haven't had to take anthing all day. I've thought about Motrin, at least, but it hasn't been bad enough that I feel like I can't stand it. I think maybe if I take another shower it might help. If I was running a fever, I'd start checking myself for ticks. All of my joints hurt so bad. It even hurts to breathe.  |
| I forgot that I also have spent a good part of the day doped up again. Aunt Flo arrived on schedule and while she isn't bringing me nearly as much pain as she was last month, it is different and still hurts a lot. Mostly in my back. The stuff Heather perscribed last month did shit to make it better, so I settled back on my Darvocet again when Jason got home from work. I'm really wondering if I should go back in and see if something more is wrong with me. I remember having bad cramps before I got pregnant, but nothing like the ones I have now. If I had to compare the two, it would be apples and oranges. Either way, I don't know what I'm going to do when I run out of the Darvocet. It's the only thing that's getting me through the evenings, which is when the cramps worsen. |
| Yeah I haven't written in a few days, and all of a sudden I'm brimming with shit to type. I should've saved it all for one entry, but I'm too sporadic for that. Besides the whole power advisory and not being able to run much other than our AC, fridge, and tv the past couple of days keeping me from getting online, I've also had a ton of orders for invitations. OK. Maybe not a ton, but it feels like all I've done since last weekend is assemble invitations. One set for a baby shower, another for a wedding reception. While I was assembling said invitations, I watched that one movie with J-Lo and Richard Gere about dancing... what the hell is it called? Shall We Dance, I think. Anyway, it was the corniest damn movie ever, and totally pointless, but it was a free movie preview for Encore and that happened to be on. It made me decide that when I go back to work, I'm going to enroll Jason and me in salsa dancing lessons. In exchange for Jason losing a bit of his masculinity by attending these classes with me, I agreed to let him get his concealed weapons permit. That way, as he put it, "If one of those femmy boy dancers who take that shit seriously touches me, I can blow their goddamned brains out."  Yeah the urge will probably pass in a month or so. But for now, I am all about learning how to dance. |
| SmylinGyrl (8:57:03 PM): I have a funny pool/Ethan/Jason/me story. angryinlace (8:57:12 PM): oo share SmylinGyrl (8:57:30 PM): So this evening was the first evening J hasn't had to work late this week... SmylinGyrl (8:57:53 PM): We decided to use up the last of the pool juice before we drained it because of the storms due tonight. SmylinGyrl (8:58:06 PM): Ethan and Jason are in the pool. I'm taking pictures. Ethan does his poop squat. SmylinGyrl (8:58:11 PM): I say, "Is he pooping?" SmylinGyrl (8:58:20 PM): Jason checks, "No I don't see any poop." SmylinGyrl (8:58:39 PM): About 20 minutes later, Ethan is getting ready to go down the slide on his swingset. SmylinGyrl (8:58:51 PM): As he's sliding down, poop is squeezing up the back of his diaper! angryinlace (8:59:08 PM): ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! LMAO SmylinGyrl (8:59:13 PM): Wait... it gets better. SmylinGyrl (8:59:49 PM): So Jason and I collect Ethan up and take him inside to take care of his diaper. We decided the bathroom would be the best place because it lacks carpet and the tub is easy to scrub. SmylinGyrl (9:00:04 PM): Well, I'm holding Ethan up by his arms and Jason is pulling off the diaper. SmylinGyrl (9:00:27 PM): It's one of those little swimmer things, so you can't just undo the tabs. You have to tear it down the sides, which takes a little bit longer. SmylinGyrl (9:00:42 PM): Jason starts lurching. I'm yelling, "You cannot puke! Hold it in! Hold it in!" SmylinGyrl (9:01:03 PM): He starts yelling back, "I can't help it! I'm gonna puke!" SmylinGyrl (9:01:11 PM): Then proceeds to blow chunks all over my shower wall. angryinlace (9:01:20 PM): OH my god SmylinGyrl (9:01:33 PM): So I'm holding Ethan by his arms, my eyes closed so that I don't end up puking because Jason is puking. SmylinGyrl (9:01:49 PM): Ethan's diaper is hanging off by one side because Jason had only gotten it half undone. SmylinGyrl (9:02:17 PM): Ethan's screaming, I'm trying to go to a happy place so I don't end up puking, and Jason is hurling all over the goddamned bathroom. SmylinGyrl (9:02:48 PM): Jason FINALLY gets Ethans diaper undone all of the way and throws it in to the bottom of the tub in between wretches and puke episodes. SmylinGyrl (9:03:16 PM): I pick Ethan up and take him into the hallway, where I'm holding him an arm's length away because he's got poop all over his rear and I don't want it on em. SmylinGyrl (9:03:20 PM): me*... SmylinGyrl (9:03:28 PM): Jason's STILL puking in the toilet. SmylinGyrl (9:03:43 PM): And I can't open Ethan's bedroom door because both of my hands are occupied. SmylinGyrl (9:03:53 PM): I'm thinking, "this just cannot get any worse." SmylinGyrl (9:04:08 PM): Then I felt warm and wet on my stomach. SmylinGyrl (9:04:14 PM): He was wizzing on me. SmylinGyrl (9:04:24 PM): So.... SmylinGyrl (9:04:35 PM): I just freaking lost it and started laughing my ass off. angryinlace signed off at 9:04:52 PM. angryinlace signed on at 9:04:52 PM. angryinlace (9:04:56 PM): HAHA, I was just writing that when I got disconnected.... SmylinGyrl (9:05:00 PM): LOL SmylinGyrl (9:05:19 PM): So you got he was wizzing last? angryinlace (9:05:27 PM): yes SmylinGyrl (9:05:34 PM): SmylinGyrl (9:04:24 PM): So.... SmylinGyrl (9:04:35 PM): I just freaking lost it and started laughing my ass off. SmylinGyrl (9:05:57 PM): Jason collected himself, took Ethan into his bedroom and started cleaning him up while I did damage control in the bathroom. SmylinGyrl (9:06:16 PM): Not only was there poop in the tub, and subsequently in the sink because that's where I threw his swimming trunks... SmylinGyrl (9:06:57 PM): BUT, there was puke in the tub, on the shower wall, on the floor next to the tub, on the sink counter, on the wall next to the toilet, on the toilet, in the toilet, on the floor next to the toilet, and on my mirrored closet door. angryinlace (9:07:23 PM): I'm so sorry that I can't stop laughing right now SmylinGyrl (9:07:45 PM): It's OK because I laughed so hard I thought I was going to piss my pants. LOL! angryinlace (9:08:12 PM): wouldn't have been surprising even by that point LOL SmylinGyrl (9:08:14 PM): The man can gut a deer but can't handle a little bit of shit. angryinlace (9:08:27 PM): LMMFAO SmylinGyrl (9:08:44 PM): I spent the next hour cleaning the bathroom. angryinlace (9:08:55 PM): no kidding! SmylinGyrl (9:08:58 PM): And the hallway, where there was piss on the floor. angryinlace (9:09:15 PM): yeah SmylinGyrl (9:09:24 PM): It was crazy! angryinlace (9:09:43 PM): omg, I can only imagine, and I'd rather not, haha |
| Oh my good Lord. This heat is unreal. We've been under power advisories all week, along with advisories not to fuel our vehicles between the hours of 9 am and 7 pm. And advisories not to water our lawns or gardens. And advisories not to mow our now dead lawns. Or leave our car idling. Now we're under a thunderstorm advisory. I really hope it rains. We need to cool off. Since when does Michigan register temperatures in the triple digits? Its crazy, I tell you. Simply crazy. |
| I'm sick/tired of feeling like I'm never good enough and that no matter how hard I try it isn't going to matter. |
| Jason slept on the couch last night because he's an asshole. I'm still mad today. If he doesn't change his fucking song when he gets home from work today, he's going to sleep on the couch again. And every motherfucking night from here forward until he figures out that he's going about the way he talks to me completely wrong. |
| Jason is scaring me. He keeps cleaning and vaccuuming. Who took my husband while I was gone and replaced him with this neat freak? I like it, because I haven't had to do anything since I got back, but I don't like it because he is being incredibly too anal retentive for my tastes. We got home about midnight last night. J had to go to work today because he had some meeting scheduled that he found out was a waste of his time when he went to it. So, he really could have stayed home. When I went and picked E up from J's mom's, he stared at me for a minute like... is that really my Mom? LOL. He didn't get too excited, although he stayed pretty close by me and got pissed if I left his line of sight. We came home and he sat in my lap all afternoon until lunch time, then went down for his nap. I was so exhausted that I took a nap, too. We were both apparently very tired because we each took a 4-hour nap.  It's good to be home. I wish that it wasn't the last convention, but a week was really too long for me to be away from J and E. |
I spent way too much money at the auction. I may end up having to take out a second mortgage on my home in order to compensate for the amount of money I spent, although elizm446 may have to sign her soul to The StoryMaster  , too. While I wasn't vodka'd at the auction, I did have 2 mai tai's, 4 white russians, and a woowoo at the masquerade ball. Yeah. I was feeling pretty good, and nobody has permission to post any photos of me from that particular event without showing them to me first. I'm such a killjoy. Although I did look hot in my dress. Diane and I left this afternoon and had a pretty uneventful drive back to her house. Except when we stopped to use the rest area and went into the bathroom to find an old man wandering around. It was odd... very, very odd, says Diane. He was the custodian or something, and upon seeing us said, "Hello, ladies!" and then scurried back to his little room or whatever it was. Creepy, indeed. Uhm... I don't have anything else to add right now. I'm pretty tired. |
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Whatever you do, hang in there, he'll be sleeping like a big boy in no time!