%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
|
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "This is pretty much what journals are all about, at least to me. I knew as I wrote them that even though they provided an excellent place for brain (and heart, and psyche) dump, they were mainly a map of me." --- Colleen Wainwright "Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it." --- David Sedaris "Please write again soon. Though my own life is filled with activity, letters encourage momentary escape into others lives and I come back to my own with greater contentment." --- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey "In giving of myself onto these pages every day I allow myself to write regardless of the depth and meaning. I share myself with others without fear of recrimination for these are my thoughts, my feelings and my very being, and there are non who's opinion of me matters more than my own." --- Rebecca Laffar-Smith   The Writer's Round-About |
| Still in yesterdays fuzz but today I'd promised myself I'd work on a poetry entry for another contest. I wanted to do something creatively and work it in so that I could use it in the book of poetry I'm currently putting together. In the morning I took Josh to the library and as he played in their kids corner I sat and wrote. I worked over the lines and remembered how much I hate working in longhand. I have a page with scribbles, lines, scratch-outs, lines above and below where they belong, scrapped words, and brainstorming. It's a huge big mess. Somewhere on that page was a poem. It's a base but it just doesn't feel right. When I write poetry that works I FEEL it. Not just feel the emotion involved in the writing of it but a part of me just smiles and goes, "Yeah, that's it!" This poem doesn't do that for me. I've spend time scattered through the day trying to 'fix' it but so far I'm wondering if I'm just wasting my time. I've obviously not given up and even if I decide it's not going to work I'll save it and archive it as I do with all of my work. Who knows, someday I might stumble across it and know how to make it shine. But before I decide that I'm going to keep working on it. There is something there, it's just a case of pulling it out of the jumble of words so I can see it more clearly. I know it would definately help if I was all here. I'm also very tired, I fell asleep once already today and a part of me wants to go back to bed. If I give in and do that I won't berate myself. Nothing good ever comes from forcing myself to work in this condition. Still, I keep thinking of the time I'm wasting. I worked a little on The Dating Game today and I keep thinking I should work harder on it so that I can get it out to the publisher. I think a part of me is worried about earning more with my writing. I depend on the pension at the moment and anything I earn affects my payments. If I were paid an advance for a book it could scrap my regular payments. I wonder if maybe I should talk to an accountant or centrelink adviser to find out how that would work. But then it's like counting my chickens isn't it? It's all much to far and important thinking for the state my mind is in. I'm starting to wonder if my mood is directly connected to the house. When I was out and about during the day I was feeling ok. Then when I got home it was like I became a deflated balloon. It's not that I don't like being here but I think maybe the disturbed energies of my sanctuary are unsettling me. I'll be very thankful when the renovations are done and I'll be able to restore the tranquility. I keep reminding myself, "Not long now." Perhaps that's how I should look at everything at the moment. "Not long now." |
| I can't seem to turn my brain on today. I started the day wanting to just stay asleep. My kids were snuggled up beside me and it was nice and warm. I remember I'd been dreaming and I wanted to return to the dream. Part of me wonders if I really did wake up today. The renovations are still in full swing here and the bathroom is definately coming along. Floor tiles and paint are about all that's left now so hopefully that means it'll be done by the weekend.  I'm looking forward to being the first to use the whole new bathroom. Even incomplete it's sooooooo pretty. *chuckles*Anyway, my mentioning that was just to give reason for me staying away from the house all day today again. It meant I wasn't on the computer which was probably a good thing. I walked a fair bit and went to the shop again with Josh. But I didn't write at all today, the brain fuzz. *sighs* I did however get a great new bag. My purse was starting to get on my nerves and I wanted something bigger, more like an attache so that I can fit my current manuscript in there along with other 'vital' content. *grins* It means my book travels with me wherever I go. Obviously the bag is a lot bigger then my old handbag but I got a clutch purse with it so that I can leave the bag in the car when I go shopping and it hangs on the pram when I'm walking. Of course now I sit here at the computer again. And I want to write some poetry for the contests I want to enter and I want to write some more sonnets for the book of poetry I'm working on but I can't pull my brain together enough. It's all just fuzz. I can't even concentrate on reading, definately have no hope of reviewing. Thankfully I have some housework that I can get done and then I'll probably settle in with a movie before sleeping. But for now, at least I accomplished a blog entry. The day is blue. Even if this jibberish was a mess at least it's written. Hopefully I'll have my brain back. And not long till the renovations are finished which means I'll get my home and my time back, ohhh and my bathroom *chuckles* Now time to go do things that don't require a brain. |
| The builders are still going strong in my bathroom. I now have wall tiles, bath, vanity and light/fan/heater fittings. It's all really beautiful and I can already see how drab the rest of the house will look in comparison when it's finished. Anyway, with them grinding and cutting tiles today and Josh always so very interested in all of it I really had to get out of the house again today. But I went out with a plan, an my pens and notebooks. I did a lot of walking today and walking often leads me to singing and thinking. Mostly singing when I walk. I don't know why, I think it's the fresh morning air in my lungs and the beat in my feet as I stroll along. It helps me keep to an easy pace because if I walk faster I can't breath as effectively. I need to keep a moderate pace or my hips will be too sore by the following morning. While I was out I was also thinking. About my novel, about my poetry, about the Persevering Poets Present group and the Tools of Poetry Workshop I run for them. Josh and I had breakfast at MacDonald's just so I could sit in the sun and spend some time writing while he had fun on the playground. It was lovely and I was enjoying it until the sun moved behind the tree and in the shadow the brisk wind was cold. So we moved on. After a short shop, (for STATIONARY)  I ordered a coffee and went to sit in the park, again in the sun, while Josh played. I wrote a little, then pushed him on the swing. Then we moved on again, this time to the library. They have a lovely couch in the children's area and I made myself comfortable and started in on the new index cards I'd just purchased. Josh gathered books and started piling them on the chair.When I'd done what I could with the cards (not having my draft with me) I turned and started reading the books to him having him return them as I finished each one. We had a delightful time there in the warmth and comfort. It was so nice that I could feel myself dozing off so I figured it was definately time to move on before I fell asleep. We stopped in on my mother for a short while in the afternoon and then headed home where I worked some more. I managed to wrap up week one of the workshop and finished writing week two's article. It only scraps the surface of meter but it's definately a vital step in understanding what meter is and what it can do for poetry. Or at least I hope it is. Judging the alliteration entries was tough. It was also time consuming. I reviewed each of the entries and was thankful that there was only one each. Even so it came down to a tight decision in the end as there were two poems that showed alliteration exquisetly. Still, I can only give one merit badge a week (and that sends me broke enough) so I focused on making the difficult choice and I feel the winner definately deserved it. I hope everyone will continue into week two with as much enthusiasm. I'll probably aim to stay out of the house again tomorrow. Hopefully the weather will be as kind as it was today. This time I'll take my draft for 'The Dating Game' I was really inspired to work on my novel today and wish I'd brought it with me. I'll try not to make the same mistake again. I have my index cards and the first draft and it's a case of repointing my points. I also want to get more detailed on my two main characters. They're not alive enough for me. Jake particularly is still two-dimensional and both ring false when they should ring true. I expect when the time comes it'll be a full rewrite. I've grown so much in the year and a half since I wrote the first draft of 'The Dating Game' and there is so much it lacks that i see now with the distance of time. The plot is definately a solid base, but it definately needs more balance and flesh. But I'm looking forward to the challenge of scrubbing this one into shape. I'm also still trudging along with the book I'm currently reading. It's a writing book by and author I'd never heard of and for some reason her voice just makes me groan. She has some interesting insights into writing which is the only reason I'm persevering. The good news is I have more books to look forward too when I finish hers. But right now? It's time to sleep. I'm still feeling a little wrung out from emotion. Each time I think I'm starting to feel ok again something on TV will trigger me to tears. I love how much everyone is showing their love and care for Steve but it's hard to keep seeing his face when the sadness is still so raw and new. I didn't realise I cared so much about the guy. Maybe I just need to go off and have a real good cry. Time heals all wounds. You know that phrase should be amended with, "Time heals all wounds, and the lasting memories leave scars." *sighs* Ahhh, didn't mean to totally deflate my entry. Seriously, the sadness is there but we live on and we carry forward Steve's dreams. The world is a wonderous place, full of adventure, lets make the most of each and every day. Aspire to your dreams, reach for the stars, even if you never reach them you'll really have lived just for trying. |
| I was out and about driving for a change doing some errands on my own and listening to the radio in the car around noon today when the news hit me. I never knew the man, but still his death touches me with stabs of grief. Steve Irwin, a fellow Australian and one of the few public figures that truly was a hero, had been killed while diving off the coast of Far North Queensland. Countless times we'd joked about the irony if Steve were to be taken by one of his beloved crocs. In a way many Australian's had decided that it would be the best way for Steve to go when his time came. With all the dangerous animals he worked with it was often thought it was just a matter of time before one of them got him. I guess that was true, but part of every Australian probably hoped he'd die in his sleep of old age, after years of offering these life-changing and educational documentaries on wildlife. He was an incredible conservationist. Truly working for the welfare of all animals. He was a man of strong integrity and an honest belief that nature is a magnificent life force. He loved his family, having a unique rapor with his wife Terri and his two children, Bindi and Bob. He also loved his country, Australia, every rock and river. For these things, even though I never met him, I adored him. So today is one of sadness. I try to imagine how Terri and the kids are feeling. How all his friends and coworkers are. What their plans are with the footage they'd been shooting. It seems early to be thinking of it but a part of me thinks that they're already planning to put even his death to use in his constant battle for the safety and wellbeing of the animals of this world. I imagine that even having their lives torn like this, by the loss of her husband, their father, that his family will continue to fight for what he'd made his life about. Steve is going to be very much missed by Australia. He represented a great many of us, the way we think, and how so many of us hold firmly to our ideals and our dreams. He taught the world to respect nature and the animal kingdom. That these creatures had reasons for living the way they did and that while they can be deadly, they're just living creatures, not intending harm without cause. Even his death, while almost unimaginable is a lesson. One of the seemingly most placid creatures in the ocean, the Stingray had defense mechanisms to protect itself from perceived harm. We know Steve would never have intended to hurt the beast but animal instincts cannot be put aside. Stingray deaths are rare, their stings are painful, and I try to imagine Steve's final moments. What could have been his thoughts as he saw his last vision, a stingray, a beautiful creature of the deep, gliding away from it's 'victim'. Australia, and perhaps even the world, mourns. We say goodbye to the life of an incredibly brave and giving man. I hope Steve's legacy will live on for generations after his death. Remember the message he spread in his life, the most important things he stood for. My condolences and love go with his family and friends. We love you Steve, you'll not be forgotten. |
| *chuckles* I love that cliche because as a gamer "Beholder" has more meaning then to assume it's just whoever happens to see something. Beholders are a monster with multiple eyes and a body that also seems like an eye, a fleshy orb that floats in the air. They're generally the bad guys and pretty nasty to go up against. I've often considered either roleplaying or writing about a beholder who happened to be mostly innocent/good hearted and bumbling but seriously helpful and rather pathetic. I picture him doing all the can to be accepted but ultimately causing more trouble then it's worth. His acceptance comes simply because his heart is so pure. Anyway, I didn't mean to go off on a Beholder tangent. Actually my topic was more the literal sense of that phrase. They say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and it really doesn't only relate to external beauty. Beauty can be found in chaos and order, indeed the order of chaos is a beauty to be seen. You have glass half full and half empty syndromes which are also eye of the beholder concepts. Today I had the same kind of busy, not enough time, just want to write, RL gets in the way sort of day as has been going on all week. Today I actually feel good about it all. Part of me wonders if it was just the freedom of having my home back to myself today and the opportunity to BE home for the day without worrying my kids would get under the feet of the builders. I don't think it's just that. Today my attitude shifted I suppose. I saw the beauty in the chaos of my life and the order began to appear. Things are moving forward and not getting to write today doesn't mean I won't be able to write tomorrow. Even writer's block isn't really any such thing. It's all about how you approach a situation. For me I've gone months without being able to put word to paper. But it's not that I CAN'T write. It's that it's easier to choose not to. This has to do with waxing and waning priorities. I loose sight of my goals or perhaps just become discouraged by their distance. Other parts of my life move to the fore and my writing falls behind. I have however decided as of a few weeks ago to no longer let my writing fall behind. Yes there are other important aspects in my life but my writing is now one of my primary and will remain so. This morning I was talking to an ex-boyfriend and mentioning how I wanted to write but RL was getting in the way and he told me not to write then. That it was ok to let go of that. And I realised one of the reasons I broke up with him was because I lost sight of what I wanted when I was with him. He never encouraged my dreams. I decided to stop bothering to listen to him about that sort of thing. Writing means more to me then just words on a page. It's been my life long dream. There is nothing else I ever wanted from life but this. Even my children, my home, my former husband, they were all sidetracks. Sure, I wouldn't go back and change things but ultimately these are experiences I hadn't focused myself upon until the moment they arrived. But writing? Being a published author? Changing the world with my words even if only a small part of it? These were my dreams long before I can remember dreaming. My earliest childhood memories contain this dream. It's imbedded in me and while I might go astray occassionally this is what I always come back to. Writing is my center. Opps, off on a tangent again. *chuckles* Back to "eye of the beholder". Anyway, I realised today that I was looking at it all wrong. I realised that I was feeling hard done by because I couldn't write instead of accepting that sometimes priorities change. My novel, my stories, my poetry will still be there when I can dedicate the time to them they deserve. This disruption is only temporary and ultimately so much good is coming from it. The other point is I HAVE been writing. I mightn't have produced much completed material but the words are there. My blog, I've done some reviewing, kept up with the PPP and my emails. I've got pages of notes with idea concepts and lists of contests that provide jumping off points when I can sit down and produce new content. So now I don't mind taking a break from the heavy duty of being a writer. I accept that being a homeowner and a mother take precidence today, and tomorrow, and for however long it takes to get the bathroom finished. However, because I'm a homeowner, and a mother, I am still and will always be a writer, an author. The writing is still there, and it will always be there, holding my hand through every stage of my life, my life-long friend and my security blanket. From one view to another, glass half-full when it had been half-empty. It really is all in the eye of the beholder. So how do you CHOOSE to see the world, and your life today? |
| *sighs* I feel like I'm coming back on the same issue, over and over again this week. While I'm excited that other areas of my life are progressing it's frustrating that my writing is having to take a back seat. I WANT TO WRITE!!! And OMG because I know how valuable it is to actually want to do it it's frustrating me that life keeps getting in the way. I've suffered the reverse, hours and hours of time I could be writing and struggling to pull myself to the screen. It isn't as frustrating as having the words and being unable to get time to sit down and get them on the page. I live in fear that when I do get the chance they won't be there any more.. A part of me wants to scream, "STOP!!! I want to get off this rollercoaster." I want to slow down, or maybe I just want to stop dealing with reality long enough to get back into my fantasy world. I keep trying to console myself with the fact that the turbulence is not forever. The renovations are coming along well and thankfully the brilliance of my builder means the week long delay we could of had isn't an issue. Still, it doesn't feel like enough right at this moment. Thankfully my blog is something I can't put off. It's reassuring to picture my house falling down around my ears and me at this computer keeping the day blue. *chuckles* If only the same could be said for the rest of my work. *grimaces* Ahh, and there a stab of guilt because the time I dedicate to ensuring I have a blog entry could have been used to write something. *sighs* Sorry for the rant today. But it helps to have gotten it out of my system. Sometimes there just aren't enough hours in the day. I guess my frustration is worse because I'd hoped to dedicate tomorrow to getting some work done and instead again, working on the house. I know I said I love this house, but sometimes I can hate it too. *chuckles* Of course even if it weren't mine I'd have to do housework etc. So I console myself with that. Maybe I can get what I need to do done quickly and then find the time to write after. *sighs* I hope so. |
| *looks like a deer caught in headlights* Um... Um... Um... *grins and winks* I'm struggling tonight. I had the opportunity to get a few reviews done today but I still have so many more on my list to get through and most of them are port raids. They just seem to keep building up. Meanwhile I'm also interested in getting more content into my port and in entering contests. I'd love to write some short stories and get to editing my novel but at the moment it seems like Reviewing and Poetry are taking precedence in my life. The trouble is it's often hard to decide if I should review or write. If I write then my reviewing list will continue to grow and if I don't then my port won't grow and I won't get those entries into the many great contests on this site. But it's not just new poetry I want to write. I'd also like to take time to really overhaul my existing poetry. And of course I have to get my daily blog entry written. It's just gone 9PM so I've given myself permission to do that now and at least have it out of the way so I can focus on accomplishing other things. But add the dilemma of knowing there is a movie I'd like to watch starting in about an hour so I don't have much time to do more tonight.It's great to see some entries and interest in the Tools of Poetry Workshop. People are really reading the article and applying it to their writing. Makes me feel pretty good to know that I might be helping people. Next week I'm going to focus on meter. Apparently there are a lot of poets who know nothing about meter. Meter and the way it affects how a great deal of poetry flows or doesn't flow is a very important aspect to consider and while most people think and speak with a kind of natural meter I realised that a lot of my poetry reviews relate to meter and flow and it's entirely possible the poet hadn't even attempted to be 'in mete' and had just written it the way they thought it.One advantage of writing these articles each week is that I can then provide links to information like this in my reviews. I could say, "I felt the meter of line 5 was a little off and recommend you have a look, read it aloud to yourself and see how you say it surrounded by the other lines. For more information on meter check out {entry:}" I could certainly help me when people turn around and say, meter? huh? What's that? *chuckles* Of course that's true with everything. There is a poet who's visited the PPP forums and reviewed them and then wandered past some of my sonnets. She tells me she's trying to learn more about sonnets and hopes to write some of her own. So I'm thinking if she joins I'll use sonnets as week three. I feel that trying new poetry forms is as much a tool of poetry as some of the techniques that can be carried over into all poetry. I hope to focus on at least a few forms over the weeks and give the workshop some diversity. Meanwhile I can't put aside writing more of my own poetry. I'm still enjoying the way "Invalid Item"  turned out. I still like the use of consummate in the final line although each time I read it I notice that it's not true to meter. At least not the way I naturally go to read it. I almost don't stress any of the syllables but if I were to claim any in particular it would probably be the 'con' rather than the 'sum' like the form would insist. Ultimately in order to keep the meaning of this poem it's the best alternative. So for the moment at least I've decided to just leave that be.*grins* I think I might also do a lesson on 'Yodaisms' at some point. I occassionally point these out to people in my reviews. I seem to have an eye for catching them. But recently I had a poet reply asking me to explain more clearly what I meant and what exactly a yodaism is. I was more than happy to explain it and really quite enjoyed doing so. If I were to do it as a lesson however I'd find a way to describe the English grammar rules of sentence structure. So far every time I've gone in search of an explanation I've found none that make sense or put it simply. The only way I've been able to explain it is by example, taking a Yodaism (usually one of Yoda's actual quotes) and rewriting it as rules of grammar would prefer. I'm sure there is a way to describe WHY it is supposed to be like that rather than having to only show that it is. Anyway, it's gone the half hour now and I really am running out of time to get much done so I'm going to call it a blog. *grins* So much to do and so few minutes to do them. Life will ever be to short. Onward, of course, I still haven't decided, reviews or poetry?Ohhh PS. My bathroom has WALLS!!! No tiles or paint on them yet but at least I'm not seeing the inside of the walls now. *grins* And my brilliant builders managed to get the tiles and all the amenities today instead of having to wait over a week like the retail people had told us we would. They've got them connections *grins* Makes me think there is some sort of builder mafia. |
| I wrote a new Shakespearean Sonnet today. For some reason when I want to write a poem I keep coming back to this form. It feels so comfortable. I know I should challenge myself by branching into the uncomfortable so perhaps I'll try stepping away from the sonnets more frequently. But what came to me today really suited the collection of sonnets I've been working toward and so I wrote it in that form. It was wonderful to work on something new. I'd been struggling to write and today got a very hurtful review of one of my other poems. I've been over and over it in my head, comparing the reviewers writing and other reviews given and come to the conclusion that sometimes there are just people out there that are bitter and no interested in being helpful when they would rather just be egotistical. I'm not going to deviate into ranting about all that though. Now I'm trying just to understand that there are people like that and to focus on giving the best I can give. I was about to say that having said that my new poem is pretty good. But then I realised that 'finished' it about and hour ago and could hardly expect to have an accurate sense of perspective on it's quality without having more distance. But perhaps "Invalid Item" will get some reviews that can help me judge and I'll read over it tomorrow and in days to come and see if I feel I can tweak it further.I've recently been thinking I should do this with my poetry archive. Not the archive I have here on WDC but the CD-rom archive of poetry I keep where I store about 4 years of poetry. These days I save all my work because it's possible there are some incredible insights and brilliant creations amongst them. I want to go over them all and polish the ones that I feel could be made better now I've had years of distance to gain some objectivity. Of course, this sort of idea comes on top of everything else I want to get done and never have enough hours in the day for. Today for example I would have liked to do some more reviewing but with the renovations going on here I've been out of the house all day. Thursdays is my usual day for errands anyway but on top of a quick grocery shop and helping my mother at her house a little we included some window shopping for bathroom amenities, taps, bathtub, sink, vanity, and then spent about an hour trying to pick tiles. In a way this was creative for me. Deciding how my new bathroom would look and using my minds eye to visualise what I wanted and what things would look like put together. In a way it was like picturing a setting for my a story or poem, bringing the image into mind until it was clear and focused. I'd gone into the idea of renovating the bathroom with the mind of making the house more valuable. But as I'm looking at these tiles and seeing ones that the majority of people liked I started really appreciating the fact that I don't want to move anymore. For the years of my marriage I'd always hated this house, it never felt like home and I didn't have the power to make it one. Since my separation however it's been MY house, and I earn the money and reinvest it in making this 30yo airy claptrap a home. I've ripped out the carpet with my own hands and admired the stunning jarrah floorboards underneath. I've scrubbed and painted the walls. Bought and hung new curtains. Furnished and really made this place a place I love. My daughter is settled into a great school. My son will go there when he starts. Basically I have no intention of moving from this house until they finish school. I love my home. And so instead of looking for neutral colors that prospective buyers would like I gave myself permission to get what I would like. My bathroom isn't going to be planned with some future owner in mind, it's going to be a santuary for ME! So my creativity went into finding the mixture of colors and fittings that I'd like most. My favorite color purple as highlights with smokey wall gloss and white tub, sink, cabinet and chrome fittings. I can picture it in my mind and I know I'm going to love it. You know the only problem is that by the time the bathroom is finished the rest of the house is going to feel so much older. *chuckles* I expect the kitchen and laundry renovations will move up on my priority list and I'll probably get the floorboards sanded and polished very soon too. Anyway, today I was creative, and it was great to be creative in my home rather than just on the page. I wrote a poem that I am so far appreciating and I plan to write more. Now I'm enjoying the quiet of my home with kids both asleep in their rooms. I'm in a place that I really enjoy. Ohhhhh, And my garage has a FLOOR!!! *grins* The men finished the cement pad in there, can't skate on it for at least a week but it's there and it looks fantastic. |
| It's already late and RL has been too hectic today and will continue to be for the next few days so I'm just throwing in a quick entry for the sake of making my calender over there pretty. Usually I try and focus on my writing in my blog here but today I'm going to deviate and do one of those "what I did today" type things that many people, myself included, hate. *grins* The good news is my day wasn't like other days. You see at 9AM this morning I had a bathroom. *nods sagely* Yes, very interesting, a bathroom, I had one. At 10AM I didn't have a bathroom. *jaw drops* It was gone, there was a whole that had a room-like shape of sorts, but there was only half a floor, and no walls, and no door. There were taps with no sink, pipes with no bath, and you could look through the floor to the sand under my house. *grins* Yes, renovations in full swing. It's wonderful to be watching the progression. Even if the early stages of renovation is destructive it feels creative. You can't create something new and beautiful until you've cleared the way. Today we cleared the way. It didn't really take an hour to clear the room completely, it took most of the day for that. It did take an hour to turn what was a bathroom into something that could no longer bare the title.I didn't get much work done today because along with keeping my kids out of the way we were contending with jackhammers, drills, and the shattering of panel walls. But in a way I'm getting to use my creativity anyway. Applying it to my home instead of the black on white I usually reserve it for. After the workmen had knocked off for the day I got myself dolled up. Tonight my mother, sister, and I went out. My exhusband came and babysat. That task involved watching them eat their dinner and put them into bed two hours later and then play games and watch TV for five more hours. Anyway, three women, out on the town. For me it's something I don't remember ever doing. I'd never been to a comedy club although I'd treated my exhusband to Jimoen when we were still married, and once my two sisters and my mother went to see Straussman. Tonight we went out for a very lovely dinner and I didn't begrudge the cost of the meal. For once in my life I was comfortable paying $30 for a meal for one person. I certainly couldn't afford to do that frequently but as a once off it was a delightful treat. After dinner we went upstairs to the comedy club and enjoyed three hours of stand up comedy. All amateur and some terrible but others were great. I really enjoyed the whole night and it was fantastic to get out and spend an evening with adults doing something people my age usually do. It feels like something I'd missed out on starting a family so young. I've never been clubing, or to the casino, I've never been in a bar. All these things twenty-four year olds usually take for granted. We all seemed to enjoy the night and have talked about arranging to do something else again soon. Of course when I dropped a hint about my ex babysitting again he didn't sound like he'd welcome the idea. *sighs* Is it wrong that I feel a bit peeved about that? I mean I watch them 24/7/365 and he begrudges me 7 hours once, only 2 of which they were awake? I love my kids, I wouldn't give them up but it would be nice to think their father wanted to spend more time with them. Ok, need to get off that topic before I set off all my buttons. Obviously it's a sensitive issue. I feel guilty for having married a guy who's not the wonderful father I'd have liked my kids to have. But then he didn't make much of a husband either. Now it's just a case of moving on from past mistakes and while I appreciate him babysitting tonight I know I can't depend on him to do it regularly. Espeically since he'll be going back to America as soon as the paperwork clears so he can marry his new woman. But, for a short entry this ramble/rant is already long enough. Basically I've had a wonderful day. A very productive day. Even if none of that production revolved around my writing. Life is progressing forward and sometimes it's the other areas in live that take priority. |
| One of the tasks on my to-do list that seemed most daunting was getting a workshop started for my poetry group. Today as I was dropping my daughter off to school and then walking a further 20 minutes to the post office I got to pondering about the task and writing notes. For some reason pushing a pram and walking and trying to scrawl notes on a notepad is particularly difficult. It is however at these times when most of my brilliant ideas come to me. I suppose I should be thankful it's not while I'm showering (although ideas come then too). Anyway, when I finally got home and the power was restored after an hour blackout that began before I left (and thankfully didn't last much longer after I got home) I settled into the computer to stare at the screen. *blushes* Yeah, that's pretty much what I did for the first hour. I threw in the perusal of some blogs and double, triple and quadruple checking of my email but ultimately I was trying to begin the workshop. Eventually I reached the point of beginning. Created the book and the forum and got hard to work. Hours later I present "Invalid Item" This is a poetry workshop that will focus on one of the various techniques poets have used throughout time. From alliteration, metaphor, imagery, repartition, rhyme and meter to the various forms and ranging subjects of poetry. Each week I'll select one and focus on it, learning about it myself and then presenting a 'lesson' for others.I write 'lesson' since I struggle to call it such. I hesitate to feel capable of presenting such a thing to other poets. I'm by no means an expert on the matter and I deliberately chose alliteration for the first week because it's one of the few techniques I have some idea how to use. I've used the technique to great effect in "Destiny? Doom!!!" The reviews have been almost unanimously approving of the alliterative devices in that poem.Still, it's a daunting prospect. I really only created the group because I searched for something on this site that offered such open communication and thirst to learn from other poets on the site but could not find one. Creating one was the next best step. I'm only a student of the art myself. There is certainly so many more gifted poets on the site that could present the information better then I ever could. Hopefully I don't disgrace the name of poet with my articles. Truthfully I'd much rather be a participant of this sort of workshop then the host. I'd much rather be taking this week to practice alliteration with my fellow poets rather than studying and putting to practice whichever 'tool' I decide to focus on next week (taking recommendations btw). Not to mention, I'd much rather be the one eligable for the weekly merit badge awards rather than the one given them away. *chuckles* Still, I hope it encourages the group to participate and I hope the workshop will prove useful for poets who follow in my footsteps. Perhaps I'll have the opportunity to have guest 'speakers' some weeks. One advantage is although I have to do everything a week ahead of the other members I am at least getting to practice these new techniques and styles. In this way I'm benifiting from the workshop myself. I just hope that people enjoy the workshop, grow and develop their writing, and I hope my poetry and overall writing also improves. I also hope that working on the "Invalid Item" group doesn't end up taking so much of my time that I slack off in other areas of my writing and reviewing.Ohh since we're on the topic of the PPP I just have to show off the five signature images I've put together for group members to use: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Now, time to drag myself to bed, big day tomorrow with lots of housework and a bathroom to rip out. *grins* Yep, renovations in full swing here at the moment. The men dug out the shed and driveway today ready for paving and tomorrow the bathroom is going to be gutted. Which reminds me, I'm going to have a final shower in the 30yo bathroom tonight because it'll be a while before we have a bathroom here and for the next few days the kids and I will be ransacking my mothers house for such amenities. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
I'll let you know when I get it done.