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 |  Now my story begins in nineteen-dickety-two... |
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2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to -Breathe(2AM), Anna Nalick ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For Daddy, the real world gets fainter and fainter every day. -Homer Simpson Homer, Please Don't Hammer 'Em ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If we shadows have offended,/Think but this, and all is mended,/That you have but slumber'd here/While these visions did appear./And this weak and idle theme,/No more yielding but a dream... -William Shakespeare, A Midsummer's Night Dream |
After I get done with yesterday's entry, I think of stuff I could have written about. I don't know what it is, but my brain is taking longer to function in the morning than usual. It could be the gray weather. I maybe a night owl, but I think I've discovered something. I'm like a cat who sleeps in a sunbeam. Sure the cat is a nocturnal creature, but he sleeps in the sun beam to charge his batteries so he can be an unholy terror in the night. While I'd like to think I'm not an unholy terror in the night, I think I do run on solar power during the night.  Craig and Matt are gone, but they've left some stuff in their room and Craig's truck is still parked outside. We haven't heard from them in a week. Craig has been worried about driving his truck because there's something wrong with the shocks. At least that's what he told me awhile ago. If he doesn't come for it soon, we may rip the sticker that allows him to park at the apartment complex and tell the complex that the truck's been there awhile. Some of the stuff they left behind includes a Wi Fit and a game system or two. They did pay April's rent. At least Craig paid it. I don't know how much Matt contributes to it. I'm thinking if they don't get their stuff by the end of April it's ours. Their names aren't on the lease. And we went through this thing with another roommate that wasn't on the lease and we forced him to move out. Called the cops and everything because he was doing some psycho hose beast type things and denying it. The cop said we'd be within our rights to just change the locks and keep his stuff since his name wasn't on the lease. If we really wanted to. We're really not that mean. It's more of the annoyance at this point. We can't do anything with that room until they get their stuff out. It's only been a week at this point, but with their track record, who knows how long it will take them. I went to eat at Penn Station for lunch, which is a sub place. They make a big deal about their lemonade. I ordered some, but I wasn't sure if I really wanted lemonade, but I figured I could get something else. Well, it turns out that the lemonade is actually twenty cents more than fountain drinks and tea. I was a bit upset because I found out they had sweet tea. Since I paid for it, I drank the lemonade. I refilled it before I left so I could take my pill later. When I did, it felt like a lemon seed might have went down with it. It could have been a small piece of ice, though. Well, I've bored you all enough today. Have a good one. |
| Ug. Lately, we can't seem to get out of bed until after 10AM. Granted we don't go to bed until about 2, so that makes sense. It just really seems to eat away at my free time. The last two days have been gray and a little cold. That doesn't encourage one to get out of bed. I don't have an entry worthy of the title. I'm just watching The Simpsons with Spinal Tap and there is a reference to their half inflated dark lord. I can't imagine writing anything that would deserve that title. That could change tomorrow, but I doubt it. I had a weird dream. It involved some of the characters from Babylon 5. And one of my characters from my story was an ambassador there. We weren't even on Babylon 5 in the dream so I have no idea what that was all about. I have been checking out the series from work so I understand why some of that was in my dream. I'm currently on season 4. I don't think I was even me in the dream. I was some other chick. I thought I'd write something more coherent in this entry. Guess not. |
Well, not quite yet, but they're moving out. I'm not so happy about Craig moving out, but I'm elated that his loser boyfriend is going away. I realize that I didn't even write many entries on what a jerk ass Matt was. I think this little bit sums him up pretty well. He worked for a sports store in Michigan and we have the same store here. The store transferred him to the local one and wanted to make him manager and give him 40 hours. But he refused and said he only wanted to work part time. He told Craig it was because he wanted more time to do fun things. The store almost fired him completely. Who in the hell refuses 40 hours in this economy? Craig thought that if Matt moved down here away from his parents, he would become responsible. And I suspect that's what he believes will happen once they have a place of their own. Because it worked so well with his previous boyfriends.  But Craig is an adult and I learned long ago not to give advice to others about their significant others. It just ends up creating ill will between you. Anyway, I could go on and on. The real irritating thing is that we switched rooms with them last week because ours is bigger. Since they holed themselves upstairs, we figured it was fair since we only sleep in our bedroom. Which is part of the many things that ticked me off last weekend. It's also my mom's birthday today. I have to remember to call her on my lunch tonight. |
| A person dressed up as Bert from Sesame Street and a person dressed as a Roman gladitor, just came down the stairs, circled the area and left. The joys of working at a university library... I'm just glad the humans vs. zombies game hasn't spilled over into here... |
We are under a river flood warning, a freeze watch and a freeze warning.  Freezing flood waters might be an interesting concept. I'm sure the damage and whatnot would be horrible, but imagining frozen water after it invades streets and homes is kinda weird. Today has been pretty weird anyway. I had dream my dad tried to kill me with a rifle. He then tried to get my sister and co-worker to do it. I'm not sure what that kind of dream means. As soon as I got to work, Diane came to me and said there was medical crisis going on in her office. Apparently, one of our patrons had a medical issue and we called the EMTs. The last I heard it was an allergic reaction. I think she's fine now. That kind of thing isn't something you want to hear first thing when you get to your desk. I'm probably about half-way through the day at this point... It's never normal around here anyway. If it were normal, that may be reason to worry. |
| Had I started this entry a few hours ago, or about 10 last night, it would be a long rant. I suppose it could still become one, but I'm much calmer now. At the very least, I'm not likely to start a fight or punch you for looking at me funny. I find I like be angry instead of depressed or afraid. Anger isn't a good emotion to hang on to. All the same, if I have to chose, anger before depression or fear. I'm reluctant to go through all the things that managed to tick me off in the space of twelve hours, as I don't want to be that angry again. And it's a dosey of a list, too. This may explain why I only spend time in reality when it's absolutely necessary. Reality only seems to lead to anger, pain, depression and fear. In fact: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=864 I'm wondering if I write it all out if it'll help in the long run. I don't have time at the moment anyway. Maybe later. There's enough there for several entries. Comedy. Possibly the only good thing that comes from reality... Maybe I should find that CD we have Lewis Black in the collection and listen to it at lunch... |
| Benn was told last night that everyone where he works is getting a $.50 pay cut. It was that or not have a job. Apparently, on Friday they were ready to close down the place all together. They told him that after 90 days they'll see where they're at. I don't trust the whole 90 day thing. I've been through downsizing and a company being bought out. Nothing is for certain. One day they tell you one thing and the next day it's the opposite. I understand that the company doesn't know itself what's going to happen from one day to the next, but that doesn't ease my mind at all. I just don't understand how a juvenile prison can be going under. It is a privately owned business and I guess some places are holding on to the kids to get federal money so they don't want to send them elsewhere. I know no job is 100% secure, but I really didn't think something like this could happen at a place like that. I guess this means I will be applying for the librarian job. Although, I don't have a chance in hell. I've never gotten an interview for a librarian position at the university. Since there's a hiring freeze, I can see them wanting to keep me where I am because if I leave that position they may not get it back. I'm surprised the librarian job was approved of so fast. I think I'd be a fool to apply and accept a librarian job at a public library right now. In theory, library use should be going up since it's free to most people. But the property taxes still have been cut so that still means that library is getting less funding. At least for now. Benn's dad's place of work also has a hiring freeze. So that option is closed. Benn will be looking for another job now, but I think everyone knows what that's like now. Benn worries that his co-workers will start slacking which will make things worse for the company. A couple of them think unemployment checks would be better than where they work now. I think anyone who says that has never been on unemployment. Benn had to collect it before. My father's had to. It's not enough. I really hate this. Our whole life together has been this way. One of us ends up not having a job and we struggle. Then we may both have jobs, but then something inevitably happens that one us is unemployed again. We had just gotten things under control in this last year and now it's probably going to come unraveled again. Seriously, is this Fate's idea of a joke? It's not like our lives were perfect before this. We had enough worries and money was still one of them. I guess the best we can hope for is that he manages to find a job before his current one goes under. Just from previous experience, I think it will go under. It's just a question of when. It's not like we can save enough money to prepare for it. We basically live from paycheck to paycheck the way it is. There's a small part of me that hopes since he was told this after midnight last night, that he will go to work today and find out this is a cruel April Fool's joke. Except there were signs that the place wasn't doing well for months now. Benn told me it was nothing to worry about. I guess it's still pointless to worry. Just end up having to do what you have to. |
| For the past week or so, I've been researching agents to submit Chasing to. I'm not done revising yet, but I feel like I should start seriously looking into agents and start making plans. The thing that I noticed this time around is how important a query letter seems to be. We spend so much time on our novels, but it seems like we need to spend as much time on query letters. Many places don't even want a sample of the manuscript, they just want the query letter and then they'll decide if they want to see any of the novel. That's kinda scary. One of the things that I find daunting about the query letter, is that they suggest looking at the back of book covers or the inside jackets to see how they try to hook potential readers. There is something inside me that resists writing in that fashion because I find it hokey and manipulative on some level. Yet, I've been hooked by reading this descriptions. So, they do work. I just feel like I'm overselling or being over dramatic every time I consider writing something like that. Yet, I did find a sample of a query letter that I liked and it was accepted by the agent and the book has been published. It may just be a matter of finding the right tone and style for me. Even within those movie trailer-esque book descriptions there is some room to maneuver. It's weird. I find the query letter challenging, but I'm not bemoaning it. I'm not complaining. I don't doubt that I can do it. In fact, when it comes to writing, every obstacle I come across, I want to overcome and not look back. It's hard for me to explain, but I've heard others talk about it. For example, there's a librarian job opening up, but I don't know if I want to apply for it. I know I'll have to give a presentation if I get an interview. That's enough to keep me from trying on some days. So, far nothing has come up in my writing endeavors that makes me want to not even try. That tells me, writing is something I want to do. Few things have made me this excited or want to throw my whole being into. |
| Well, my old writings did help me with the rewrite. Plus gave me an idea for yet another story. I have so many ideas and I'm not even finished with the old ones yet. *sigh* We visited our friend, B, in Indy yesterday. This seems like it's becoming a monthly thing now. Which is fine, I'm enjoying the trips, but it can be a little expensive. We went to Half-Price Bookstore and I found Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman. We had it here at the library when it was a bestseller but our bestsellers are leased, so at some point they go back to the company we get them from. In it, he has little stories that go with the songs to Tori Amos's Scarlet's Walk album. Now, I'm glad I have access to it whenever I want. There's also a short story in there that's connected to American Gods. Ever since I finished American Gods, I've wanted to go back and reread the short story. We went to Coldstone Creamery. I found a combination of ice cream and mix-ins that I really like. We also went to a candy store at one of the malls. We used to have the same candy store at our local mall, but it went of business long ago. The company I used to work for used to do it's payroll. At any rate, we now have too much sugar at home now. This morning when I went to the coffee shop, I found a pamphlet advertising a writing workshop that's going on at the university in July. I guess it's something that happens every year. If I can pull the money together, I think I'll attend. Here's the website if anyone is interested: http://www.midwestwriters.org/ I guess that's the highlights of my weekend. |
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