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 |  Now my story begins in nineteen-dickety-two... |
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2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud And I know that you'll use them, however you want to -Breathe(2AM), Anna Nalick ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** For Daddy, the real world gets fainter and fainter every day. -Homer Simpson Homer, Please Don't Hammer 'Em ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
If we shadows have offended,/Think but this, and all is mended,/That you have but slumber'd here/While these visions did appear./And this weak and idle theme,/No more yielding but a dream... -William Shakespeare, A Midsummer's Night Dream |
| I get to work today and there are some new display boxes about new DVDs we've gotten in. One of them was for WKRP in Cincinnati, Season 1. I've been trying to watch them on WGN ever since I found out they were showing them for an hour every Sunday night. But sometimes I forget. It's just one of those shows I have good memories about and still enjoy watching. Like Night Court. Anyway, when I saw the display box, I said, "We got WKRP!" A student assistant was standing behind me and said, "I don't know what that is." *sigh* I just mumbled something about not expecting him to and went to check out the DVDs. We also got Soap, but I don't remember being a fan, but I may pick up a disc to see if I like it. If we got Benson that would be pretty sweet too. I don't know what's going on around here, but we're suddenly getting a bunch of TV series. We even got South Park.  We even got some Simpson seasons. I already own all that are available. M*A*S*H was added last week while I was gone. Earlier this year when I was dealing with my panic/anxiety issues, I actually found a great deal of comfort in watching M*A*S*H reruns. I wasn't a fan when I was little, but I remember Mom watching it every night. I think it used to come on before Entertainment Tonight or something. I couldn't believe how many memories watching the reruns sparked. It was kinda weird. My co-worker offered me a kitten once they're old enough. I'm really tempted to take it. I don't know if we'd be allowed another cat, but there's no reason for the apartment people to know. I would stop at three cats anyway. Besides we need something to replace the two gay furs that just left.  I didn't ask her what the two kittens she has looked like. But she says she'll bring in pictures. If one of them is gray, I would be sorely tempted to call it Mister... I'm afraid once I see pictures, they'll be no stopping me in acquiring a new little ball of furry joy. |
| So, I'm back at work. And I'm a lot more mellow than the last time I was here. This is also finals week, and our area usually isn't very busy during finals week. Our busy week was last week. I imagine the first part of the week will be busy, but it'll thin out as the students start going home. It's also the time of year where some of our student assistants will be graduating. It's always a little sad to see them go. For eighteen years, I lived in the same place, a rural town. And not much changed. Yeah, some people moved away, a few new people came. And eventually, we ended up at the high school for the whole county, but things were pretty constant. As much as it can be I suppose. My parents never divorced so life was rather stable. Then I went to college. Ever since a line from the Wizard of Oz is always floating in the back of my head. My people come and go so quickly here. Dad wanted me to learn that there was no place like home from the movie. Instead, I learn people come and go at the drop of a hat. I strongly suspect that most of the lessons Dad tried to teach me, taught me the opposite of what he wanted me to learn. It feels like a transition time. Beltane was on the first and the semester is nearly over. I finished Babylon 5 and am nearly caught up in the Dresden Files. Those things give me a sense of completion. As well as deciding Chasing is ready to go. Just have to sit down and decide where I'm sending it to first and writing that query letter. Ug. Not looking forward to that. Everything I managed not to worry about is creeping back in. Like wondering if Benn will lose his job or not.  Ah, well. It was also my first week moderating the fantasy board. I've been switching the responsibilities with two other moderators. The big weekly switch was time consuming, but not really hard. The weekly updates make it easier. I did have it rather easy as I had this week off. Next time, I won't have that luxury, but it shouldn't be too bad. Have a good one! |
| I finished watching Babylon 5 today, except for the movies which I'm getting through Netflix. It had an appropriate quote for today that I had written down when I first saw the episode ages ago: ...You will lose some friends and make new ones. The process is painful, but often necessary. They will change and you will change because life is change. From time to time, they must find their own way and that way may not be yours. Enjoy them for what they are and remember them for what they were. -John Sheridan |
| So, it's May 1st and Beavis and Butthead still haven't moved the rest of their shit out out. Craig's truck is still sitting in front of the building. Benn's made several attempts to contact Craig, but Craig refuses to answer. Benn had our locks changed this morning which cost us sixty bucks. But I see the reasoning for it. I trust Craig not to come in and mess with our stuff, but Mat, yeah, I don't trust him at all. One day last week, I was expecting Benn to come to home early and I heard the door unlock. As soon as I heard someone come in, I yelled out "Mew?". Benn and I will talk to each other in meows. Which I'm finding isn't as odd as I thought it once was. Even it was, it's one of our couple things, and if I had thought it wasn't Benn, I wouldn't have mewed. Anyway, I don't get a response as I usually do and then I hear someone going up stairs. I guess it's Mat. He came here just to pick up something and leave. Not move the rest of his shit, just to grab something, never bothering to say 'hi' or 'I need to get this'. It's just polite thing to do. Benn suspects that someone's been in here since. Neither one of us likes the idea of them coming and going whenever, using us as a storage facility. Yeah, the locks got changed. If I could find some way to get them to pay the sixty bucks for it... there is a small fridge and Wii Fit up there... Anyway, despite Benn warning him that the locks were being changed, Craig still hasn't responded. Benn is of the opinion that just about everything Craig left behind he had some emotional attachment too. There's a stool his grandfather gave him. There's this wall hanging of his that I've always liked. It's a wood carving, I think. But it has these cute little owls on a tree branch and one of the owls is upside down and it says 'Nobody's Perfect'. I think it's freakin' adorable. But I have a soft spot for owls. I think Craig said his grandparents gave it to him. It's still here. He left a bunch of stuffed animals that ex-boyfriend's gave him. Benn wonders if this is Craig's attempt to forget his past. I can see Craig thinking Mat is his last chance at a committed relationship. Good grief, he's only 25, but he often bitched that he couldn't find a gay guy his age that wanted to commit. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a 25 year old straight man to commit. I have no doubt that they will break up. What really pisses me off about the whole thing is how much it upsets Benn. Craig was one of his few friends and for no reason at all Craig is just cutting him out of his life. Craig always does that when he gets a boyfriend, but it's more extreme this time. All the other stuff, I could just let go and say whatever, have a nice life. But Benn is upset by it, and the possibility of him losing his job doesn't help that either. I don't appreciate what Craig has done to upset him. That alone is enough to put him on my 'Dead to Me' list. It takes a lot to get on that list. Hurting my husband and loved ones is a quick ass way to get there. On the other hand, I can go back to my parents and pick up a my vanity. I was never able to take it because we never had the room. Now we do have room for it plus the daybed and a set of shelves still at my parents. It'll make a nice guest room even though we dont' have many people over. So if any of you find yourselves in Indiana and need a place to stay, we should have one soon.  |
| Well, I know it's Wednesday. So it looks like it makes today the 29th. I thought I'd do more blog entries while on vacation, but no, I haven't blogged thus far. I have been working on Chasing like I planned to do. Still not quite as much as I would like, but vacation isn't over yet. It's still a hell of a lot more work than I have been doing. Going back over it, I'm losing my confidence a bit on it's readiness. On the other hand, I'm not making big sweeping changes to it, so I think it's about time to take a deep breath and send it out into the world. I just had a reviewer comment on how she missed Cynthia (the main character), so I must be doing something right. Vacation is going slow, which is fine with me. I really haven't thought about work at all this week. I rarely do when I'm away. I did go back to the library to pick up book 9 and 10 of the Dresden Files. I think that may be another issue I'm having with my own writing. The books I'm reading lately are in first person and I tend to write in third person. Sometimes it's hard to use first person as an example for third person writing. I think there are some things you can get away with in first person that you can't in third person. Anyway, don't want to delve into that too much at the moment. While I'm excited to have books 9 and 10, that also means I'm almost caught up to where the author is. Book 11 just came out. I hate catching up when I've been tearing through a series. But while the Dresden Files has an over plot, I don't think it's going to be one of those series with a definite end. At least not anytime soon. It's probably like any other detective/PI series, except the private investigator also happens to be wizard. There are many Dresden short stories out there apparently. Thank God for interlibrary loan. Otherwise, I'd be broke. But then I always liked this quote: 'When I get a little money, I buy books. If I have any left, I buy food and clothes.' * That was the nice thing when I belonged to the Science Fiction/Fantasy book club, you could get some good deals, but often there were books that I just wanted to read and not to keep. It felt a little foolish to buy a book when I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. But there are few books that I've hated. *shrug* Well, I think I've run out of steam for this entry. I best get back to revising. *Erasmus |
| Three more hours until vacation. Ug. I think I really need it. This place is kinda ticking me off at times. I've also been having a weird mix of ups and downs today. It may not help that I'm tired. I had to get up a little earlier to give plasma. Lately, it's been hard to make appointments so I have to take what I can get. Instead of just being closed on Sunday, they are now closed on Monday. So that may have something to do with it. But it doesn't seem like there are as many people there donating like there used to be. Yet, one of the employees told me they wanted to hire 20 people before summer was over. I asked for Benn's benefit and he put in his application. I'm hoping it works out. You'd think with the city and state's unemployment rate being 10% they would be doing more business. Maybe they are and I'm just not there when they're busy. But if that were true, why is it so much harder to find an open slot to come in? I guess, people could be taking up all the slots and just not bothering to show up. I don't know. It's weird. Anyway, since I knew I had to get up, about the last hour or two of sleep I didn't really get a restful sleep, because I knew I had to wake up. The crazy, old Egyptian man (and I say that in a loving way) I work with gave me $40 for my birthday today. My birthday was in February. But he said he told me he was going to get me a gift. But he hadn't done so yet and didn't know what to get me. Since I was going on vacation it made sense to give it to me now. I told him it was unnecessary, but he wouldn't listen. It was really sweet, but he didn't need to do it. I'm thinking of doing something like buying him a present with his own money since his birthday is in the summer. But I have a feeling that would start a weird cycle of giving. And it might be bad karma or offend his culture even if he didn't know it. I'm touched by it all the same. He's always doing nice things like that. Makes me feel bad for all those times I get annoyed at him. I try not to let it show. Then I get back after receiving his kind gift and get annoyed with all my co-workers just sitting in the back talking. I don't care if we're not busy. The student assistants were doing their job, helping patrons, putting things away. One of them has a broken leg and is doing more work than they were. So that irked me for awhile. Then I read a blog entry about someone losing their kitty almost made me cry. I'm even more tired now and just want to go home. Shut the work world out for a week. And Benn just called and said he had vacation to use, so now, he'll have the whole week off too.  Just hope he has a job to go back to.There were other little things to mess with my mood. The book I'm reading. And that book is part of a series that I have since discovered has many short stories. So I was excited about finding those books and putting in requests through interlibrary loan. Then there's the normal patrons, machines and some things here on WDC that messed with my mood. Taking me from one end of the spectrum to the other. Craziness. Maybe I should push my co-workers up front, and go in the back, and lock the door behind me. And spend my last 2 1/2 hours in peace... hm... How to lure them out... |
| I am so freakin' tired right now. We had a lot of call ins today, so the first half of my day was running around trying to make up for the lack of people. Things are calm right now, but I still feel exhausted and I just got done with an hour lunch. I could really use some caffeine, but the espresso machine in the cafe upstairs has been broken all week. blah. I suppose there are options for caffeine. I may have to look into those. If figures I get run this ragged just before my week off. At least my hair doesn't smell like pork anymore... or I've just gotten used to it. Today for lunch, Benn made pork chops while I made salad and potatoes to go with them. So we were in the kitchen together and Benn can't seem to make pork without causing a lot of smoke. Unless he uses Shake-N-Bake. There maybe some sausages that he can cook without filling the kitchen with smoke. The pork still turns out tasty and delicious, but much smoke must come from the pan to achieve this. *shrug* Thus, I left for work with my hair smelling of pork. And so did my jacket strangely enough. Must... find... caffeine... now... |
| I just had a patron come in to return a DVD. I told him to just put it on the counter. He did and walked away, but as I went to get it, he turned around as if he didn't trust us to check it in. I wanted to yell, "If you had been Lot's wife or Orpheus, you would have just turned into a pillar of salt or lost your wife to Hades." |
| Thursday night as I was trying to drift off to sleep, a story that's been simmering in the back of my head, boiled over. I had to hop out of bed and start outlining. I've continued to think on it all weekend. It's not fully outlined yet, because as of Thursday night, I wasn't sure how it was going to end. But over the weekend, it's been filling out and the ending is beginning to come together. And I still haven't finished revising my first novel yet! And I still have to revise a second novel, rewrite the sequel, and finish the first draft of another one. Not to mention continuations of the other stories. I have to balance all that with work and other pesky life things. It's so unfair. Next week, I'm taking the whole week off to use up the vacation hours I need to use before June. I'm thinking I can get Chasing completely revised that week. It's been slow going, but now that I'm past chapter two, I think it will go faster. Then I'll have to start writing query letters and synopsis and so forth as I contemplate sending things out to agents. As I'm doing that, I'll try to revise Apple and get Moon's first draft done. Not a problem, right? I've lost a lot of discipline over the last few months, but it's starting to come back. I think I just need to find my groove again. *-Homer Simpson quote. |
| I guess I've had a rather different day. Today, I actually got up a little before ten, but that was because I had a physical at the place I give plasma. It's the first time I've donated since December. The weird thing is, I feel better today than I have all week. Not that I wasn't feeling fine, but I just didn't feel totally with it. Of course, I might point out that the sun was out today and it was beautiful out. I suppose that could be another point for the weather messing with my mood theory. Then I volunteered to be a back-up mod for our fantasy review forum. I have a lot of time. I think I can keep up with it if needed. I have no life. I just hope this isn't like when I became president of the fencing team. It seemed like as soon as we elected a president, the president would stop coming to practice and stuff. That happened to me. I didn't think it would, but some other things crept into my life and I couldn't be the president I wanted to be. *shrug* Can't help life, I suppose. But I am feeling tired now and don't feel much like doing anything. I want to go home. I have about hour and an half before that can happen. I'm feeling so tired, I'm almost inclined to use some vacation to leave early. Despite being tired, it really doesn't seem like 9:30PM. I did finish the seventh book of the Dresden Files today. I really haven't talked much about books here since I joined goodreads.com. It's a neat little place to keep track of what you're reading and want you to read. It's nice to have a list of books on the web instead of trying to keep track of what I want to read in my head. I know some people write that down in a notebook. I never did. Don't know why really. It's a good place to get reviews and such. And you have friends and such on the site. Kinda like Facebook. So if anyone wants to check it out and be my friend there, that would be awesome. Anyway, I've been enjoying the Dresden series and would recommend it. It's not like the TV series on Sci/Fi at all. I watched the first episode after I started reading it and they changed so much, it's kinda hard to like it. I'm not talking about acceptable changes. I understand there are bound to be changes when transferring a book to film, but it this case, they changed some fundamental things that didn't need to be changed. But that's my opinion. Benn downloaded all the episodes but I can't quite bring myself to watch the rest yet. |
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