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 |  My purging and some other crap - can be funny, most times without trying :-) |
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ Just to take the crap out of me and put it somewhere else for safekeeping. Gets heavy carrying it around. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It's me, Summertime 2010. I'm pretty damn happy these days. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And yes.. this is my daughter, Devann Dev   . I am the luckiest Mom in the world. Can't get a new pic ... oh maybe I'll creep FB and steal one from there! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And our little slice of paradise. I still after 'four' years here can't believe how lucky I am. Come on over .. the door's always open ( heehee ) Thanks for stopping by. Cheers Check yourself, or I mean, it out
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| Yup… I am sure you were all just dying to know that and now you can all breathe a sigh of relief. I know I am happy. I stepped inside the sliding door ( as yup Mr Spider is still happily barricading the front door – although he has a leeeetle hole, cause I accidentally sprayed him with the power washer when I was cleaning up the abandoned bird’s nest – so he is under renos right now ), and kicked off my birks and heard a distinct “PLOP.” I stood there for just a second and closed my eyes, turned around slowly and yup.. there was only one birk on the mat. So I tiptoed over to the door, ( not sure why I thought tiptoeing would help ) and peaked out, into the water and lo and behold, there was my sandal bopping along.!! Yeah!! A good rinse, and good as new. Those babies are pricey!! Had a great day – spent a lot of time outside in my garden, replanting from the aftermath of the otter attacks over the summer. They have not come onto my dock this week. But I did find out from my neighbour tonight that they are now coming right up on to his dock and going through a little hole in the fence. I guess they wrecked havoc over there… yikes… I feel bad, but not bad enough to want them back over on my side! It was gorgeous and hot and it was so relaxing just putting around, planting new plants and cleaning up. I powerwashed like cuckooo.. man I love that thing! I used to be in love my power drill, but this baby is sooooo much better! So needless to say, not much work happened around here. My company comes tomorrow, so had to tidy up etc. I have lots of ideas though, prompted from yesterday’s comments. I might start some sort of book about some of the adventures of my childhood. My memory is too scattered, but my brother remembers everything as does my Step-Mom. So maybe a good long couple of nights, enhanced by some alcoholic beverages might bring forth some good stories. Will have to check with them. Well it’s short today. It will be a long night working to catch up on some editing. I am happy to say that I got one of the publishers I work for to offer a contract to another writer on here, so I am thrilled for him!! So one more quickie before I head off… fleckgirl sent me this link. Normally I don’t do these.. but this one is kinda fun. It tells you, after you answer the questions – your true age and your life expectancy. I am happy to report that I am really only 29 and I am going to live to be at least 91.7! No wonder I feel so great these days!! Yahooo.. see that raw diet is paying off already. http://www.poodwaddle.com/realage.swf So have a go and see how old you really are. It might surprise you! Cheers bugzy |
| …can hit at any time. Lots of times, things just pop up in my head and I go ahah, blog taken care of. But it that doesn't happen then around 9 pm or so, I start to think hmmmmm... what has happened today that I can possibly write about. And since my goal is to get my blog done by 1:30am at the VERY latest, I really start to panic when I look up and see that's it's almost midnight. But earlier this evening Mrs. Whatsit , in her very, lovingly bossy, tone kinda gave us a kick in the butt for whining about the lack of blog subjects... and provided a list. So I looked at this list and thought, ok, I can do one of those tonight.So I pick number 4.- traveling. Well it's a bit more than that really, but here goes.... sit back and we'll see where this ends up ( I am never too sure myself ) So, those who have known me for a bit or read some of my crap, my Dad and I had an interesting relationship. He was a tyrant, no two ways about it, and the last few years I lived at home, were pretty damn brutal. But, this entry is not about slamming him. With all his faults, he was an amazing character. There never was a dull moment in our house. He had a lot of different careers - from an airplane pilot, to car salesman, to owning a swim team and writing a Learn to Swim book, to photographer, to truck driver, to owning a trucking company, to owning restaurants, to who knows what else. He could learn any skill, any trade, anything he wanted, whenever he wanted. He started new careers faster than we could keep track. So at one point, when he had hooked up with a ‘new’ step-mom, for some reason, he decided to take us all on a family trip. Probably the mafia was after him or something I don’t know, but the next thing I knew, we were all piled into 8 seater, station wagon, pulling a 26 foot Taurus Trailer and heading to the Panama Canal. I was in grade 8, so we asked the school for work enough to last 3 months and off we went. Well, it’s a shame I don’t remember much, because surely, I could have written a book about the adventures. Christmas in Costa Rica, in the soaring heat, watching a nuclear submarine going through the Panama locks, meeting up with poisonous venom-spitting giant frogs in Guatemala, watching a volcano erupt in Honduras, having an ink fish blow up in my face while scuba diving off the coast near Baja California, meeting a cute boy and walking the beach in Salvador ( hee, hee, I started liking those boys young).. were just a few memories of that trip. We did our school work the last week I think. But we all fell in love with Central America and my Dad was constantly wheeling and dealing to see how we could manage to live there. Well I don’t have the details, but within a few months, we returned to Canada, sold our house, packed up all our furniture and stuff into a semi-trailer and off we went … back down south. We ended up living in San Salvador, although I think originally it was supposed to be Guatemala. My Dad was going to run a resort here, but in the latin way – of manana, manana, it didn’t get built on time, so we were left running around looking for a back up plan. Eventually my Dad and my Stepmom, ran a concession for a newly built soccer stadium. Well that was pretty much hell. Twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturdays, we had to get up at 6am, when the baker delivered the buns for making sandwiches. And all of us kids, plus the maids would sit around this big table and form an assembly line to make ham and cheese buns, and balogne buns – with mustard and mayonnaise. Even before I became a vegetarian, I could never eat balogne after that time. We made 1000s of sandwiches to sell at the concession stands and it was not fun at all!! Bleckkk even thinking about it now, makes my stomach turn. But other than that child labour job from hell – I absolutely adored it there. When we started school in grade 8, I guess, we went to a catholic girl’s school and just hung around. Spanish was tricky for me at first so a lot just sitting around in class occurred. But eventually, I became very fluent and absolutely immersed myself in the culture there. School from kindergarten to grade 9 ran from 7:30 to noon Monday to Friday, and the grade 10 to 12 went from 1pm-6pm. There was not enough room in the school to house everyone at the same time, so they split it like this. I loved it. We belonged to a Country Club and most of my days outside of school were spent there. When I was in grade 8 and 9, I went right after school and golfed or swam or played tennis. Grade 10 was tougher, but many days, we got in playing 9 holes before school. We were very popular, as being Canadian was deemed very exotic and so we had lots of friends, and school was a blast… well except typing, which I failed --- twice. Taking oral typing exams in Spanish, is tricky, trust me! We had a great life there. I loved the hot weather, I loved golfing and tennis and hanging out drinking frozen fruit drinks and eating sliced up mangos, from baggies with salt and lime juice, sold on the side of the street. We lived there 3 years. But then, the revolution started and things got rough. My Dad carried a gun. There were riots and shootings, and the guerrillas would come down from the mountains and create havoc. Our car got shot at, and things got a been whacked. One day, the government decided to ‘take-back’ the running of the soccer stadium and Dad was threatened at gunpoint. So in a matter of days, the trailer was packed up, stuff sold or not, goodbyes and tears shed and we found ourselves sneaking out in the middle of night so we could cross the border in the dark and hopefully encounter less hassles. Dad made us pretend to go to sleep, so the guards wouldn’t search the whole trailer. Dad had built false walls and everything. I never knew what he had hidden in there. Things got rough for me once we returned to Canada. I guess it was all the frustration of all we left behind there, our home, our airplane, and boat, all our furniture and a lot of our personal belongings. That must have been heartbreaking. But I have good memories of that place. I left my heart there for sure. It felt like home to me, like nowhere else has. I want to live in Costa Rica some day. And I know I will. But for now, I have a little piece of heaven right here. So I go off to sleep soon, with happy thoughts of Salvador, my friends and all the fun times. Good memories. Thanks MrsW for putting the bug in my ear! Buenos noches amigos Salud judy |
| They are taking over I swear!! Between turkeys and deer at Special Kay 's mom's house, or cougars, and commorants in the desert over with Lorien , and ducks taking over the whole town where *Barbara Maria* lives.... I am starting to get worried.Never mind that I have otters, great blue herons, bald eagles, sun fish, jelly fish, sea gulls, geese, swans, and fruit flies taking over my place... now I have a HUGE BIG HORKIN' SPIDER WEB BARRICADING MY FRONT DOOR!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Yup….Devann opened the door and screamed!! I rush over and see this dude has made quite a masterpiece over night…. Right across the whole front door. Soooo we are lucky we have a side sliding door – so we use that now heehee…. Can’t keep me trapped in too long!!! Wonder how long he is planning on staying? I hate to be rude… but if it’s much longer, I am thinking of charging rent. So after a super long sleep…. Ahhhhh…. And then a nap heehee… I managed to get Dev out of her little hideaway and the TV!! And we headed out to a local provincial park. We had not been there before, it’s only about 20 minutes south. And it’s gorgeous. The weather is always nicer further down island here is the beach view to the south… ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and this view of Dev and Darla right before she went stick-diving is facing north. She loves fetching, especially in the water… but she doesn’t know the difference between salt water and fresh, and she always takes a drink in the ocean and makes quite a face I am sure!! Too funny. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Then we went for a long hike ….straight uphill… it was killer!! When we got to the top, there was a campground where we had to stop for a rest. There we saw a sign saying, “Beach Trail, Steep Access” ahhh yah no guff, there was no sign like that at the bottom!!! My favorite tree in the whole wide world is the Arbutus Tree. They only grow within 8 kilometers of the ocean on the south coast. They generally grow on exposed rocky bluffs overlooking the ocean. The bark is thin, smooth, and reddish-brown, peeling in thin flakes or strips to expose younger, smooth, greenish to cinnamon-red bark underneath. They are the only native broadleaf evergreen tree in Canada. Dev did take a few pics of me in a compromising position with this beauty, but they were soooo dark, this was the only one you can almost see. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So this week I have company, a galfriend is coming from Ontario to visit and my cousin will be back here too for a few days, so I won’t be on much this week. Maybe I will even see if I can swing taking off and head up north Island to Tofino for a couple of days – coincidentally they are both going there… so I will probably get them to hook up and go together and maybe I can hitch a ride. Hope so… Tofino is the surfing capital of Canada…. Pretty amazing beaches there too. There are gray whales that hang out, kayaking, beach combing, scuba diving and eco-tours are just a few cool things to do there. In the winter, storm watching is supposed to be pretty amazing. There is a spectacular rainforest that apparently gets more rainfall than the Amazon. We used to holiday there when I was really young and I have never been back… that would be fun. But will see. Have a great week …. I will try and keep up with you all….but if you don’t see my light, means I am actually leaving my little paradise, which you gotta know, is sure tough to do!! Super cheers bugzy |
| I have been up at about since 6:30am.. and those who know me, know I don't do morning so well. That and the fact I didnt go to be until 2:00am makes me a tired puppy. I was off line all day, as I was meeting up with my cousin Johnathon. He's from London and his family all live in Jersey, which is a small island south of England. I have only met him once, but it was like we were old friends. He was whale watching (in a kayak.. wayyy cool - saw about 5 pods of whales he said! And I heard tonight there is a pod of blue whales heading down this way and apparently they have not been seen in a bazillion years!!) about 3 hours north of me, so I went to pick up and tour him around to see my stepmom and then down to my brother's house who lives 1.5 hours south. So it was a crazy amount of driving today! Here's a pic of us at dinner - Johnathon, my brother, his wife and me ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** We had a great time together - we were in the car for hours, so we caught up on all the family news. He really didn't know much about us - we are sort of the black sheep bunch of the family - so it was fun telling him all our crazy family stories. He is dying to read my novel - so I will send it over to him.. even though I say a mean thing about his Dad in it, he said not to take it out haha. And he knows people in the publishing industry in London , so is going to scout around... that would nice if something came of that. so I need to zzzzz But wanted to send a link of the B.A.N.G.newsletter - where I have my ahem.. article about blogville... chances are you're in it ...hahaha "Invalid Item"  Or if you want to read and make some snappy retort , it's here in my port. "Invalid Item" Ok good night folks.. sorry if you did not get a response to your email today, I really behind.. will catch up tomorrow. And thank you all sooo much for your words of wisdom yesterday.. I took it all to heart .. you don't know how much I appreciated all your comments.  Happy sunday. cheers bugz ps .. thanks Nada and Scarlett for the merit badges!! I am too tired to look up their user names... to attach here - you all know how i mean. I was happy to write the article - thanks was enough - you were both very kind to give me badges as well!!! Thank you |
| I feel blessed that I have a few really close friends. And on here I have met so many amazing folks, I just smile, all the time thinking of you all. Before I forget go check out Deelyte- Chillin' blog from the wee hours of the morning.... seems she was leeelte bit drunk when she blogged and then IMd me...I have serious blackmail stuff on her now.. what a hoot..I love mushy, cute, slobbery drunks....funny! Anyway... yup, she's one for sure.But the last few days, I have been thinking a lot about one of my friends. I found out the other day about something that this friend has been withholding from me. I won't say lie, although... I guess it is that. But I will just say withholding for now. The actually thing this friend has done, is not a bad thing, really - so that is irrelevant. But it is more that this friend didn't tell me. I think it's significant enough to be something that I should be told about. And when I found out, at first I was mad, but I always look underneath mad to see, what is really there. And underneath that is deep sadness. Sadness that this person doesn't want me to know this thing. And so I have been questioning, why not. Is it they don't trust me, or they don't value our friendship enough? Is it they are trying to hide this from me, and if so why? Aren't friendships based on truth? We have shared a lot. And this person, I think, knows me better than anyone and even knows me better than I know myself. So I keep waffling - do i confront this person with what I know? Do I wait and see what is going to be the result of this action? Do I allow my friend, to have this part of them, that I am not supposed to know about and honour their privacy? Do I even have a right to question their motivation for not telling? As friends, are we really obligated to share everything? Isn't unconditional love about allowing those you love to live their lives how they need to and honour that? Am I being dishonest by not telling this person, that I know? This has upset me more than I can understand. I have shed a few tears the last few days over this. This friendship is so very near and dear to me, I will do anything to make sure it doesn't get messed up. But I feel so hurt - and I don't want to feel that way. i want to honour this person and just allow them to be who they need to be, and to allow them to share this with me, if and when they are ready. I don't know if I can do that. I want to. I will sleep on it again and welcome any feedback or words of wisdom you all would like to share, because I am lost here. Thank you all... for being my friends and ... yah good night bugzy |
So today, my new neighbour Simon was busy working away building the fence for his little floating garden which is right next to me. I helped him out last time, and got covered in otter poop, so needless to say, I wasn’t dashing over there to help. But lots of swearing, and crashing and groaning, convinced me it was probably in my best interest to go over. I knew the consequences could be me having to help him out of the water and perhaps administering cpr  , so I went out to lend a hand. Prevention, prevention, prevention is the motto of all lifequards!Well lots acrobatics moves went on for the next 15 minutes or so. It was challenging, holding the dock closer ( my job), pushing the liliac branches out of the way (my job), holding the posts steady (my job) and drilling in the screws (simon’s job). So I was involved in 3 different jobs with only 2 hands, I had to resort to using my legs and feet for part of it. And it was tough – the docks kept moving, the tree was NOT cooperating and the posts were being frisky. So I just added to the swearing, crashing and groaning and a few times the electric drill almost dropped into the water and Simon kept saying, “Shit, I don’t want to drop the drill!” So getting two posts in seemed to go fairly well, and we were on the last corner. But, this was the hardest as the tree was sticking way over where the fence line was, and it was hard to press the branches back out of the way. We were doing ok, when whoosh, the tree springs loose, whacks Simon in the head and PLOP! Down went his glasses. It was like watching a car accident. I saw them go and I was sort of stuck in limbo. That delay of 1.5 seconds where I could have hopped right in and grabbed them, seem to go by in slow motion and I failed. I let them twirl around in little wavy circles, down, down, down and out of sight. I was stunned and Simon was swearing like a trucker!! Phewf… even for me! So he was pretty darn upset, cursing about the $200 and he was blind as a bat. Which didn’t stop him from continuing to work and wield his drill Which scared the bejezus outta me, I’ll tell you. He was pissed, holding a kick ass drill and blind… not a good combo, and nowhere I wanted my fingers. So he mucked around, then just got more pissy. I said well for $60 you can hire a diver and it’s cheaper than new glasses. Well then he pipes up, “Oh Trina’s a diver.” Well jezz – I didn’t even know his girlfriend was home. I am thinking, “Hello, girlfriend, you could have been helping out here!!” So she pops out and says, ok, she will dive down and get the glasses. Well immediately, I am thinking wahooooo.. I got shit loads of stuff down there…maybe she’ll get my stuff!! Well, she got all suited up, tank and everything and went on a rescue mission. Here are some pics. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Jumping in. It was quite a shock 64 degrees brrrrrrrrr. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** She was a trooper, she just took a few minutes to get used to the water. She toured around for a few minutes then… ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Rescue mission complete… and what does she have…. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY CHAIR!!! Yahooooooooooooooo oh and the glasses. So she toured around and tried to find my fork… nope, but she did find this little guy ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Then she went around to check out under her boat and under the docks to check the flotation. And all of a sudden I look up and see one of the otters, zipping over super fast to check her out!! They always travel together, so it was funny to see this dude all alone. She didn’t see him, when I asked her later – but I was thinking he was either scouting to see what was up, or thought he’d died on gone to heaven with this big assed otter in his midst. Here’s how the finished fence… looks pretty cute. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** So the plan is to keep the otters away from the pond, and then off my dock. Sorry Galinago, I know, I know, but seriously, I’ve shared my dock for 8 months, time for another neighbour to take a turn. So that’s the fun and games around here today folks. Thanks all for yesterday.. wow. I wanted to acknowledge other’s generosity and you all turned the tables on me. And thanks to terryjroo and destinydances for the merit badges. I don’t know how to attach them… but sign… made me cry.Cheers bugzy |
| Chatting to terryjroo earlier and whining (yup I whine) that I didn’t have anything to write about and that nothing good happening today except Dave Gordon gifting me a gazillion gps – she said …um… write about generosity. Well, that certainly sparked lots of thoughts in my brain. I thought about how lucky I was today. How absolutely floored I was with Dave Gordon ‘s generosity. It started off with something so silly. Yesterday I responded to his blog with a poem, he wrote another and back and forth we went. Then today, I told him I had written his poem in my blog after he said his wife has deep concerns, about his stuff being out there for the public to see  . He then sent me a link to his latest and greatest limericks on aliens, which of course I read. "Invalid Item" Which you MUST go read… way too funny. So, after killing myself laughing and sending a quick comment, he replied by sending me an absolutely astounding number of gps! I was completely taken aback. He said, “Dear Bugz You are a good friend. I really enjoy our relationship. But, if you EVER have anyone else buy a membership for you without asking ME FIRST, I will personally pour a hundred pounds of Purina Otter Chow on your deck and give your daughter a car. What about points? Need any points?? Here, take some points! Dave the split-level fixer-upper After I quit laughing and Devann managed to get up off the floor, thinking she was getting that new VW Bug she’s been coveting. I replied, with my usual finesse and decorum. I think there were a million  and !!! I had a big freak out about how amazingly nice that was and then he said this, I'm really glad I gave them to you. Please don't do without, you do so much nice stuff for people. Just ask, or even hint. 'Oh, I would go to the virtual zoo today, but I don't have any GP. I'd buy you a hot dog but I don't have any GPs. sigh' And if that wasn’t enough he attached a whack more gps for good measure. But I guess he missed out on the whole RAW diet thing… but it’s ok he’s forgiven. Sigh. Wow. It may seem like a small thing to some, but for me it was huge. I was sort of managing my meager gps I had left and there was a few things I had wanted to do. It really is like money to me. When I worked at the bank and made tons of money, I spread it around a lot. Probably should have kept a bit more close at hand for emergencies, like now, but oh well. I promptly went out and spent a bunch of those tasty gps earlier today … it was soooo fun!! So when Ter mentioned generosity, I started to think of all the generous people in my life. My step-mom who really bugs the crap out me most days, has been amazingly supportive during this lull in my financial situation,. my brother is lending me his car, since my died last month, ezseeker renewed my membership on here in June when it came up and I was seriously considering letting it lapse, Ski -ster threw me a bunch of gps when I ran that silly contest on naming Dudley, I’ve received badges and cnotes and awardicons, and a pumpkin and a broom, and a duck, and poems written to me, and even one sent in the real mail, and a trillion  s and (((hug))).s.and s and  s.Generosity does not have to be about money. I was chatting to Devann last winter, that generosity of spirit was so important to me. We used to go out in the snowy weather and shovel all the neighbour’s driveways at my step-mom’s complex. Most of those folks are very old and no one would shovel. So her and I spent many nights out there in the freezing cold. But it was so fun, we used to try and be sneaky so no one would see us , but word got out pretty quickly and little notes and cards and boxes of chocolates would show up on my step-moms door. They would call her and ask if her daughter wore a pink coat and was that her out shoveling. It made my heart sing to do that. The thank yous were nice, the chocolates were fabulous, but the feeling just to do a little something for those folks was just immense. I’ve been told I am generous to a fault, if I have $5 and you need it it’s yours. I have faith in people. I have never been ripped off, or had anything stolen. I’ve lent money and been paid back. OOOHHH hang on…. I DID have something stolen once. I was working out at the community centre where I used to volunteer on the Board, and after I went to get dressed, I noticed my boots were missing out of the change room. I looked everywhere but nope… well it was winter and pretty chilly, so one of the guys that worked there, drove me home in my sock feet, so I could get shoes, and then he drove me to work. This centre was in a really poor area of town, so I wasn’t very upset. I just thought, well if someone really needed a pair of boots, that was fine, I had lots. But they were my favorites!! Well about a week later, the same guy called me at work. He asked me to describe my missing boots, and when I did, he said, they had found them on the front lawn. We all thought that was absolutely priceless… and I took some ribbing for that for a long time. Ok.. before that flash came, ( wow at this rate, my brain is going to be so full of repressed memories.. this is great!).. so before that, I was thinking about when Dev and I used to volunteer at Old of the Cold. This is a program for homeless folks, providing overnight shelter in churches, dinner and then breakfast. Then they have to leave. It runs in the winter and we used to go over at 6am and be on breakfast duty. Dev was only about four years old at the time, and she used to love going. And the folks there just adored her. She used to go and sit with the old guys and they would tell her stories about their children and their lives and she would bring them coffee. She was so unbelievably cute and so open and loving. She would hug these rather destitute and not very nice smelling people with such lack of judgement or prejudiced. It was a joy to watch. There was one little old lady who came every week. And every week she would bring Dev little presents. A doll, or a book – but our favorite was when she brought her a little blue lawn chair. We kept that chair for years and Dev loved it. We always got a chuckle when we would think about that lady carting around that chair – she didn’t have a home to go to, but she would bring a child a chair. Wow… brings tears to my eyes even now. One of the older gents one day gave Dev $5. I said there was no way she could accept it, but he insisted. So after he left that day, I made Dev give the money to a couple who were there. They hung around late and finally we had to ask them to leave. We chatted for awhile. They were only in their 30s maybe. They had 4 kids that were staying with family, but they had nowhere. They had both lost their jobs and theirs was some sad tale, I’ll tell you. Dev gave them the money and the gal cried. I mean $5.???. I have spent more than that on Starbucks. I was sad they never came back, and I have always wondered what happened to them. Well, considering I had nothing to say .. I’ve blabbed on again. So that’s enough for now I guess. I just want to put it out there, how grateful I am for all those who have shown generosity to me and to others. It’s a gift beyond measure. And yet another thing to remember when times are tough. Cheers bugzy |
| When I ran my kid’s summer camp, one of my favorite games to play was the Rolling Story Game. You could play a few ways. Someone started a story with one line, or part of a line, then the next person would continue the story, then the next person and so on. You can also play it with just one word at a time. We all loved it and the kids would just come up with the most hilarious stories I remember one day after yoga, I am not sure why, but we were just sitting in the Muskoka Room – which is like a big screened in porch I guess. I think a few of the kids had fallen asleep in yoga, so they were inside, and we didn’t want to leave them, so the rest of us went outside. Anyway, we were sitting around and we started the game. Somehow, those little vixens turned the story into a story about me. And as they continued on, it just got more and more hysterical. I guess they played up on the knowing I would not get mad or upset, but the more it went on, the more license they had to take shots at me. I, of course, forget all what they said – but I imagine now it would have gone something like this… Once there was a girl named Judy --- and she lived in a big farm --- she was so nice --- but a little weird --- but she is nice really --- she did take us swimming yesterday --- yah but she made me eat my carrots ---and she wouldn’t let me eat your cookies --- but then she did let us play on the tire tube in the water --- only because she is getting married --- and she is going to have 12 babies – who will all be named Bob --- and she will dress them in purples dresses --- and make them eat all their vegetables – and if they don’t – they will have to do chores --- and if the bad kids don’t do them all --- she will make them kiss a chicken’s butt --- and those chickens are stinky --- Or something like that. One of those ‘had to have been there moments.’ I was reminded of this today. I was visiting my buddy Dave Gordon and in his blog he wrote part of a poem and said he was working on the next part, which prompted me to help him out. So I wrote a few lines, then he did and so on. I was cracking up. Here is what our two great minds came up with…..(Dave – I think he was pissed at the mayor or something) Your pleasures are less of a municipal kind, And more of the young women you seek to find. The cracks you tend are ever more fair, Than those in the sidewalk we must bear. (Bugzy) The holes in the road I do fear For I feel one day, I'll disappear. Like love's abyss, they're deep and wide, If I’m ever lost, look for me inside. (Dave—he tricked me here though and switched to a limerick) The streets are full of craters, The sewers with alligators. The mayor is fine, Tasting wenches and wine, Stuffing much more than butter in 'taters. (Bugzy) The air we breathe is polluted. Speak out too much and we're muted We all want fast cars, So we can hit the bars. With beer our problems are substituted. (Dave – seems there was a lot of coffee whoas yesterday_ On night winds unbidden, I wander, Though dreamscapes caverns dark and somber. Bring me to waking I fear to plead And bring the coffee I really, really need. (Bugzy – poetic license here, with the whole coffee thing, I was just going with it) It’s a need that claws at my skin, Without it I cannot even begin. My thoughts are jumbled, I’m distraught. Damn woman, bring me the pot! (Dave) A writer with talent I’ll be, To stand amid talent as thee. With inspiration I’m struck. But ‘tis always my luck, I find I must get up and pee. At that point Dave was last seen coughing and choking and laughing so hard, he fell onto the floor. He has not been heard from again – so I hope all is well. Maybe pop on over if you get a chance and check on him. Watch out though he has a big ass Turkey guarding his blog (heehee) So folks although this particular example, may in fact, dispel the theory, that two heads work better than one…. In general, it is better if we work together. As opposed to my blog of two days, ago where I encouraged you to play with yourselves --- it is much more fun to play with others. So Go…. shoooooo – go play and be nice!!! Sheesh. Cheers bugzy |
| Seems short and sassy is the way to go. After yesterday's success, a new formula is to be followed. One hour of sleep, is what is driving this entry. So you get to suffer - day two of nothing thought provoking or deep. Here it is. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Fry Flies!! grrrrr One – Ok…. I know I am having an over abundance of fruit and veggies around here lately ok. But I keep them in the fridge, except for bananas – but they have been since banished as well. I have a clean, tidy house, I don’t like dishes laying around etc. So what’s the problem?? Only about a ZILLION fruit flies!!! They are everywhere. I completely scoured my entire kitchen, I wash each dish immediately and even have to dry it and put it away. My sister said, close the traps for the sink, I did that. Didn’t help Looked it up on the net it said leave out a bowl of vinegar – did that. Didn’t help My mom said leave out a bowl of sugar water – did that. Didn’t help Grrr.. its gross. I am not a fan of bugs – I know I should be. But they are just on everything. If I put on the cutting board to cut mangos, they come. I swat them away and they all disappear. And then they come back. When we went out earlier, I guess they got lonely, so they all went for a trip up to the loft. Devann was not a happy camper. And then later they went for little sojourns around the house – to the bathroom, and then to buzz over my head in the living room Grrrr So more research denotes, I must make traps. I must capture where they are breeding. I must make little coney things and catch the little bastards Ok. So that’s my plan for tomorrow. If you don’t hear from me, you’ll know something went terribly wrong. Fingers crossed Cheers Bugz |
| Writing the blogville “stand in” news piece and my head is sooo in deep in your folk’s crap I can’t think about any of my own. So, take advantage of the shortest blog entry I have ever done, and play amongst yourselves, til I get back. Cheers Bugz ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** heehee thanks terryjroo |
| Not much to report today. I spent most of the day with a half-crazed monkey who held a gun to my head and ate all my carrots. And if you believe that – you gotta give your head a shake!! But it was fun while it lasted – in a sort of strange way. So tonight I am just annoyed at myself. For 13 days I have eaten totally raw. I have only cheated once eating a few tortilla chips. It’s been tough, strange and yah strange. But I made a commitment to slog through it for 30 days. To be honest, I feel great. I have lots weight and overall, I feel healthier, more energy and proud of myself that I am sticking to it. ( I have issues with keeping commitments) At least I was until tonight. I knew that a weekend at my step mom’s would be tough – but I guess I didn’t prepare myself enough. I am just sooooo pissed at myself. There is no way I am telling her what I am eating these days– she will have a fit, and I honestly can’t handle it. I moved out when I was 17 – and have done my own thing since then. I have dealt with way too much judgement from my family about everything I do – from what I eat, who I date, teaching yoga, (my dad freaked and said I was joining to a cult) So I’ve learned, the less I tell them, the less grief I have to deal with. So at lunch we went out and I had salad .. no biggie. And when I asked what she was making for dinner she said spareribs and she didn’t know what to make for me. I said, a salad was fine. Well that met with the ‘look’ and that tisk noise she does so well…. And then of course she ignored me. Oh she made me a small salad and then made me a tofu burger and then she made stir fry vegetables. And she made pasta. I said, I was ok with just salad. But yup.. you guessed, she said, “Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t have just salad.” So I said, well I don’t want any pasta. That met with just the look and a sigh.. So after my salad, she put a plate down with two veggie burgers and stir fried vegetables. And I ate it. Desert was blackberry crumble with ice cream and whipped cream … I didn’t eat it – and took the heat and the look and the sarcastic, “OH are you on a diet or something?” I’m pissed. At myself more than anything. I mean it’s not that big a deal on the surface. Just wake up tomorrow and start again. But there’s french toast on the menu – and I don’t want to eat that either. But the point is – I didn’t want to tell her. Its not about the food – it’s that still after all these years, I can’t face risking being judged by my family. Maybe she wouldn’t have cared – no I know she would have made a big fuss. And I just didn’t want to tell her and I didn’t want to deal with it. So I kept my mouth shut again and now I’m pissed. So I have a choice right now. 1-Feel bad that I didn’t keep my commitment to myself. 2-I can be angry at myself and at my step-mom. 3-I can feel quilty ...which according to a session with the infamous Dr. terryjroo tonight, right when I was typing this….. I just need to cut out. So fine. Done… there that was easy. Moving on… Another topic – I got a very late night call from the mom of Devann’s friend who I suspected of being a cutter. It was a very different call than last time. She was crying. And wanted me to tell her more. She asked me if it’s true that her daughter is boy crazy. Seems tonight she met up with Devann and her other friend at a concert. There were all having a great time – when ‘B’ decided to hook up with a boy that was there. Not someone they knew - they just met at the concert and B was kissing and then ‘took’ off for awhile. So the other mom who was picking up Dev and her other friend heard about it and was very upset. And went to B’s house ( B was not home yet) and said B could not hang out with her daughter anymore. So I had to tell her everything I knew and heard and suspected. It was not good. I really felt bad for the mom. She’s got some serious problems with her daughter. It is not going to be easy for her. I gave her a few of my ‘theories’ on why B is acting up sooo much – and I think she agreed. I said I hoped that she had someone to talk to and maybe B needs some help. She seemed very receptive. And although the situation is very bad – I feel better that I think she is going to deal with it now. I hope. Eating a tofu burger and a few cooked vegetables is not very important in the grand scheme of things. I am grateful. So damn grateful for my daughter. And how she is and how we are. That’s what’s important. Yah….. sigh Happy Sunday all bugzy how do you like my new siggie?? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** thanks SouthernDiva heehee |
| I’m an odd duck, I’ve decided. Phewf. That is freeing somehow to just admit it and get over it. I am home most of the time and have a lot of stuff to do. I’ll have deadlines and commitments. And I usually set up a sort of goal at some point in my day, of what I will accomplish. So I wake with these great intentions in my mind. For example, today I decided I would write two more queries, apply to 3 newspapers, start to write the article due on the 25th, and complete round one on an edit and start the next one. Busy day ahead. I’m pumped. Make my smoothie, get a hand full of almonds, set up my laptop, sit in my favorite chair, turn on my computer then ….ok I’ll just check my mail before I get started. WDC mail first - phewf, 17 this morning. Ok, just start at the bottom and work my way up. Don’t answer those people who answer me – don’t even read the replies to the replies. Just focus on new mail. Ok dear….that one was hilarious!!! oh god – ok, that deserves a real answer, it’ll just take a moment. Right … one down 16 to go. OMG that is tooooo much – ok, this seriously has to be congratulated – that is way better than what I even said. Ok I can whip off something witty in 5 seconds. Next – WAAAAHHH.. oh my nooo – he got that all wrong, that’s not what I meant at all – ok I need to explain this again it will take a few mins – how to I explain this, thinking, thinking, ok.. I’ll try this and see if they get it….. Ok whipping through the next few – man, these dudes are too much – oh no hahaha, that is soooo wrong. What I didn’t say that did I?? Ok I have to reread my blog entry – I’m confused… ok reading, reading, reading. Wow I must have been smoking when I wrote this – what the heck was I trying to say – I am sooo kuffufled!!! Oh some people will think I am so daft – ohhh yuppers – this one confirms it. Oh we are so alike - popping off a witty bit of drivel. What?? – this one makes no sense – I wrote them what?? I forget what they said in their blog – better go reread Checking blog page – ohhhhh gosh there are 3 I know – ok will stop in quickly do a few s and scoot back out…Wow – an epic – this is going to take awhile. Reading , reading, reading …. Gosh I didn’t even understand that post – ok, leave it open on the browser, will have to come back to it in a few minutes. Ok quick read through the next few – These people are INSANE!!! Flying pumpkins everywhere!! Phewf…. That one was steamy – may need my shower now!! Wowza – gotta write something good in this one. Oh new mail – ok will peak and, oh well better write back, don’t want to be rude. OH a request to compile a more comprehensive explanation on the meaning of Love – ok, hmmm that’s tough, will open a new word doc and cut and paste , clean it up, thinking, thinking, thinking. Ok I better ask around – will pop of a few notes to folks to ask their opinions – ok, will come back to that later. Oh wow, I havent read this person’s blog for 3 days?? How did that happen – ok, better catch up. Ok, so all caught up with mail, back to work. Poof ….it’s noon.?!?!?! Oops.. ok time for lunch.. Wow time flies. Lets review the to-do list…. Hmm, nothing to scratch off. I need to add things that weren’t on the list, so then I will have something to cross off. Ok so adding… read wdc mail. Right, one thing down. Back to work. Wow 6 more emails since lunch – better answer those.. .. super quick the day is slipping away.. Oh an IM ok, will pop off something super fast. Yikes better check my yahoo mail – oh wow… a request to send in an application for a job editing smut – yahooooo – my favorite kinda job – wow, great, – ok, better get to that – OMG it’s huge. I can’t answer all these question, omg this is tooo hard. Ok IM fellow editor and ask for help - ok, great going through the form, one by one, - better go back to their site and check out stuff. Looking at authors, and books – oh wow – excerpts, ok … I’ll just read a couple … ok, well just a couple more – wow they have some kinky ass genres in here. Ok just one quick peak in there….. wowza – even the cover art is hot…. Yikes!!!! Well it’s getting late and I still have lots to do. I’ll start the edit and at least get that done. I can whip through this no time… hacking, hacking, hacking. Just pop back into my mail for a second…. Oh my fiance is on ( well technically we broke it off, wasn’t in the cards but we’re still friends – I think that was the shortest engagement in history ) well gotta check in. Then back to my edit. but before that I better check the bloggy page - oh dear these folks are verbose today -ok will skulk around and drop some of my witty repartee - then work. Right, wow, I feel hungry – oh it’s six oclock already?? How did that happen? MAN I gotta get to work here. Ok – no more mail focus – back to the edit ok, phewf. One thing sort of half done I deserve a break – that was a lot of work today. Time for dinner. Now it’s getting dark out. Now is when my brain starts to kick in. Now I can focus. Good most folks are winding down and logging off and I can finally concentrate… goood Crawl painstakingly through this application, well I guess it wasn’t so hard. Well at least I can cross off one thing. Super! Oh that wasn’t on the list either – ok, adding, then crossing off… good still counts! What a feeling of accomplishment. I love when I get so much stuff done in one day. I can get to bed early tonight – its only 1:30am - 2 hours earlier than usual. Crazy, what will I possibly do with all that extra sleep??? Well – I can go to bed happy, great day today. So much done. Man I love my job. Cheers bugz |
| I had an interesting conversation earlier tonight whereby it was gently pointed out to me that there was some male bashing going on in here yesterday. That startled me for a minute – then I had to admit that was how it seemed. My point got way laid a bit. When I said to believe what your potential partner tells you that their ex said about them – it was intended not so much as to bash the male (except perhaps Dick… cause he was just too ridiculous) but it was more my thoughts on how I ignore red flags. I have this endearing quality to see only the good in people. Therefore, when Mr Potential Beau confesses his past ill deeds I always say that won’t happen with me, because I will cure him. Or he will see the ‘light’ when he's with me and realize the error of his ways. So in this conversation earlier – of mainly jest and teasing – I was reminded of a theory I have, that I think of from time to time. And that is if we all just had more sex, we would fight a lot less. Now before you run off and think I am just condoning free random sex, with whoever, whenever (hmmmm.. ) No – I mean it a little differently than that. I mean – what if we all just agreed to love more. Give into love more, surrender to love more, make love more. I’m not sure, but I hazard a guess to say, after making love with your partner, there are not too many times after that you are feeling worse, or more mad than you were before (I will make my own personal exception of my ex-husband – another story). Unless it is an abusive situation – that post love making feeling just makes you happier, gentler, more willing, and more compassionate – just more. Sometimes we get carried away with the hurts we’ve suffered and it’s easy to start slamming each other – as individuals and then heck – why not slam the whole gender. But what if we all just said one less bad thing about each other and instead said just one more nice thing? We’re all in this together aren’t we? Shouldn’t we all try just a little harder to get along. Would it create more harm in your day to pass along a kind word or two to someone? I hardly think so. Wouldn’t it make you feel better to forgive someone who has harmed you? And move on. Kindness begets kindness. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to gently remind myself all the wonderful things that I love about men. And how much I appreciate them. And how many have I have blessed to know and love and who have loved me. Yup – some were less than what I wanted or deserved – but I am going to think of them all with a little kindness. That somehow makes it all seem better. Lighter. Yes.. that feels good. Other thoughts…… I was called an enigma the other day. And I will admit there's a lot of truth behind that. I am complex and hard to understand I think. I am the product of my life experiences and events and people around me make me and can even change who I am. I change. A lot. I change my ideas, my thoughts, my wants, my dreams, my lifestyle, my eating habits (crazy at times). But that is me. That is what makes me who I am. I am open to learning new ideas all the time. One simple sentence handed to me by someone, perhaps even in jest, can make me look at things or myself in a totally new light. I am learning to be okay with this. But I know it makes me hard to live with. Or even like for that matter. But I also finally after berating myself for years, am able to reframe this and so now I have decided this could well be used to an advantage. It would be like living with or making love to a different person all the time. Would save so much money – in lawyers fees, change of addresses at the post office, ordering new monogrammed towels, wedding expenses and returning the gifts later when it doesn’t work out … you name it. You don’t actually have to physically move, but you get the benefits of having that whole – new relationship, the getting to know you, lusty, romantic kinda relationship stuff – over and over again. I am so liking this new theory.,,, hmmmm who can I test it out on….. OH!!! Yes yes yes – which brings me to my other big news today….. Some cutie asked me to marry him today… ohhh gooody gooody… made my entire week!! That makes my third one in my life (I had a couple of other ‘assumptions) but only 3 real asks….. and so what if the gent is like a gazillion years younger than me and doesn’t even live on this continent, and may indeed be from another realm entirely – I say it still counts…. Oh well ummmm, he didn’t really ask, he actually told me he was going to marry me – ok, well that’s a technicality – it still counts. Oh gosh… does a girl good I’ll tell yah.So go ahead – if you must – fight amongst yourselves, but when you come in here, leave any thought of male bashing at the door and you can pick it up on your way out – no problem. Maybe I will even set up on of those coat check closets and staff it with a little hottie – he’ll keep your bad boy thoughts for you and return them with a kiss when you leave. So go hither and make love people -- not war!!! Super cheers bugz . |
| Ohhhh I love prezzies - today I got TWO this little cnote thingy from ljkam when she heard my novel was rejected. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** and welkerdeb got me this little siggy - which is just soooo me isn't it?? heehee ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** yahoooooo - raw does it big!!! Soooo on another completely unrelated topic.... I was talking to a galfriend tonight on the phone - (names withheld to protect the innocent) and she reminded me of a theory I had presented to her awhile ago. I had forgotten about this momentary lapse into brilliance that I had - so will write it tonight - so I can look back and remember it later - if and BIG IF , i should need to refer back. I stumbled across this thought - about 'dating' or entering into a new relationship. Whenever I have met someone, as part of the whole, getting to know each other process, sometimes you share what other previous partners thought of you. And for those who ahem, know me - I've had a very rich and varied dating history.Maybe my name should be changed to Bugzy the Explorer. So, here would be a scenario - having a dinner conversation, topic rolls over to previous relationships and then 'he' says something like, "Oh yes my ex-girlfriend used to accuse me of ... blahblahblah." And me in my naivity, and good naturedness and wanting all to be right in the world, would inevitably say, "Oh no, she was wrong. I don't see that in you at all! That's ridiculous!" Okay - so now I present you with my new theory - are you ready? I think realistically, you would have to pay big bucks to learn this - or at least $17.95 Cdn at Chapters to buy the book - but today only, it's available to loyal readers for Free! Yup zip, nada, zilch - except the cost of leaving one comment below at the utter brilliance of it.... so... without making you suffer any longer ....I now say if an ex-girlfriend ( or ex-boyfriend ) says something about the person you are now considering dating....... 'IT IS TRUE!" YUP that's it. When they fes up, do not argue. Make notes, write it on a napkin in the bathroom with eyeliner (well not if youre a guy, use a pen) if you have to but write it down... word per word and keep and read it later when you are all gagah!! Trust me - those exact words - WILL - come out of your mouth later on. Maybe not right away, but they will. So let's take a stroll down Bugzy's trail of ex-boyfriends for just a moment and see if we can spot where she might have gone a bit astray and how listening or knowing of this new found advice may have saved her from certain ex-aholicness. (names changed to protect the strange) Joe - "My ex-girlfriend told me that I was lazy." (fairly common - no surprise - he WILL hog the remote (not that i would know about tv stuff) and not get his ass of the couch and YOU will be mowing the lawn and doing the housework, and working fulltime etcetc.) Fred - "My ex-girflriend told me I was a psychopath" ( I do think he's under serious meds now) Sam - "My ex-girlfriend told me I was a lying, thieving alcoholic." ( you can just imagine where this one ended up... that was one of my more dumb ass moves) Dick - "My ex-girlfriend got a restraining order on me." ( Yup well history repeated itself on this dude and his name really was Dick.. and he was one for sure!!) Harry - "My ex-girlfriend called the cops on me once, I didn't even hurt her." ( I know... I know .... smack ) George - "My ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her. It was nothing, really." ( yup.... nothing more needs to be said here) Oh the list could go on and on and on. Perhaps it warrants a sequel that you folks can also get for free. Another day. That's it for this gal for now. Better day thanks. Sent out some queries, applied for some jobs, heard of a fellow editor who just got a great gig that pays amazingly well - so those jobs are out there. So I am all inspired now to get me one!! Happy trails, happy dating and let me know how it goes for you. cheers! bugzy |
| That's I feel like these days. I go zipping up, then i go sllloowly back down, then like 'walking the dog' I go back and forth - then on real crazy days, i can go 'around the world!' So today I think i did all those great yo-yo moves. Except my down was a sort of blunk, like when you don't flick your wrist hard enough and the yo-yo just gets jammed up and stuck down, til you have to bend over and get it and wind it up manually. Yah... i hate posting downer blogs - but that's life I guess. My novel got rejected today again, and it just took the wind out of my sails. I had a great productive day yesterday and today I got absolutely nothing done. I spent hours looking for another perspective publisher to submit to - that is not easy. And I just couldn't manage to get anything else accomplished. I am soooo behind in novel edits I am panicking .... I must get caught up tomorrow! But I also need to get my novel back out there... so... something wont get done I know it. And I had to clean my house and 'fix' dinner ( thanks MrsW) so that cut into my day... but I had a nice time with my sister and her partner. They are cute together and it was very relaxing. I made a total raw dinner - all sorts of salads and they both loved it. I said I was going to make my sister write my blog tonight.. she said a bunch of funny stuff which I was supposed to write - but now I forget. But they loved it and mentioned several times that it was such a nice break from my brothers ( where my sister is staying right now for cancer treatments...sigh ) cause my brother only cooks meat and potatoes. SO HAH to you naysayers - perhaps if I had more time, I might even have a convert to the raw side!! I got a prezzie though... I said I HAD to have this volkswagon bug clock and I got it... see.....!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Isn't it the coolest???? So today wasn't a total write off. Thanks to those who joined in the game yesterday. But you guys are clowns - I set it up so you could win and most of you gave back your gps! Sheesh makes me think this non-competitive stuff might be rubbing off! You know what's next don't you???!!!! Day 9 wow... don't even think about it much now. Just sort of happens. Have to go to my stepmoms this weekend though.. that will be rough! Ok. well tomorrow will be more productive I hope.. if you smell something burning it'll just be my brain! cheers - ( we had wine at dinner after a great debate that it indeed was NOT cooked ) wahooooooooooooooooooo!! bugz |
| Ok, I stole this dude. I had to. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Well I kinda got all excited when a fellow blogger showed him to me and I said, "I HAVE TO HAVE THIS GUY! I have nothing to blog about!!” And in all fairness, he didn't say no, I believe he said, something like - "My god! Try not to sound so desperate, you'll have the whole damn force lined up on your dock!' Which to me, did not indicate a NO, that I couldn't have him. So I took him. So your challenge today.... Who is this dude? And because everyone's a winner in my games **she nudges grifter** all correct entries get 500 gps - but I only have 8000 left, so yikes if more than 16 of you win I'm kinda screwed . And then the biggest challenge for which I may have to get off my ass and do some reviewing to get more gps – is to find the blogger who this actually belongs to. I am thinking, and don't think I'm wrong here, that this dude will make a reappearance by the end of the week elsewhere in bloggyville. So keep a good eye and get back to me – the prize is TBD heehee!! oh goodie a treasure hunt....I love them. So that was the big excitement around here. Other than one other funny thing that happened. I was looking for paper to make one of the damn lists I was talking about – this one for queries I was doing for magazine articles I wanted to submit.....and I pulled out a binder. And it turned out to be notes from college writing class I took in 1999 – Writing for Magazines. One of the first lines in the book was – "Only a blockhead will write anything for free." I had to laugh as I have gotten suckered a couple of times, to lend my writing skills to those who proclaim fame and fortune instead of cash. But sucker no more...it only took 8 years for that lesson to resurface and be learned. Also inside the binder was my first reject letter – almost 8 years ago exactly!! wahoo... life just goes in circles doesn't it? Well I wish it would stop for awhile, I'm getting dizzy!! Ok, that's it folks. Tell me who my dude is and get back to me.. and no googling!! Cheaters! cheers bugzy ps... my sister and her partner are coming over tomorrow. Coincidentally around the time people generally eat dinner. What do you call 'cooking' for people when you don't cook? I am in a bit of a panic on what to make. I need it to appear relatively (ok hold the comments ) normal, as I am NOT letting on to my 'judgemental' family about the whole raw thing... they so wont get it. Hmm... like some on here perhaps hahahaha. I'm thinking I could get away with brocolli salad, greek salad (minus the feta, so not really can be called that ), and good old carrot salad, maybe hummous or guacamole and perhaps strawberry banana pie – if i wow them with dessert, they may not notice the lack of cooked stuff... that might work.. dunno. Wish me luck!! |
| So let's see. Here's the scenario. You're pretty broke, except for a bunch of old bank shares socked away in an RSP leftover from the evils of working in a bank. You are living with your step-mom who is driving you INSANE. You need to move and only have two criteria: cheap and near the water. So you go on www.mls.ca and search - under $100,000, waterfront. And what do you get?? A gazillion time shares wahooo... for about 80,000 you can get 4 weeks a year, ( not sure where you’d live for the remaining 48 weeks ) or how about a nice ole trailer in a run down park in the middle of nowhere but hey you can see the water if you stand on the roof, and squint. Then.... wow.,,,. lo and behold you see a pic of a floating house.. how cool is that, you ask??? Can't get much closer to the water than right on it. And soooo cheap!!! First clue…. Fast forward 60 days and you find yourself moving into a little piece of paradise. Perfection. Heavenly. But.... it doesn't come with instructions. So after painstakingly doing research over the last 8 months... I have taken it upon myself to start to compile a list of warnings for those who dare tread in my footsteps.Here they are: 1 - don't leave anything precious near the edge of the dock..... namely patio furniture. It sinks. 2 - don't use cutesy little brass pots as planters and then expect to find them in the morning exactly where they were when you went to bed. They sink. 3 - don't let children use utensils when eating dinner outside. They sink 4 - don't try and get rid of excess construction materials, like shingles in the middle of the night when nobody's looking. They float. 5 - don't bother feeding your dog scraps off your plate while eating dinner outside, because inevitably your dog drops them. They sink. 6 - don’t plant your tomatoes in pots that weighs anything less than 20 pounds. They fall over…. a lot! 7 – don’t leave glasses with liquids inside near the edge of the countertop. They slide… off. 8 - don’t dance around in your living room like a crazy person without having everything pretty much bolted down. They crash. 9 – don’t forget to hold onto the house or the gate or something, when a gynormous big ass sail boat comes into the marina. You’ll sink. 10 - don’t let your child carry anything outside that is thinner than the space between the decking. It sinks. 11 – don’t wreck your puter so you have to go upstairs to use your child’s when it’s super windy outside. You’ll puke. And just one more for good measure….. 12 – don’t let family who help with construction be outside unattended, while doing 3 things at once, and moving large pieces of siding, while maneuvering around the ladder and then swinging the siding around and knocking off a metal saw horse. It sinks. Somehow the longer I live here the longer this list will become. So every day is another day of research. Man no wonder I’m so busy all the time. Ok… stay tuned. I’ll let you know when it comes out in paperback Cheers Bugzy Ps… heehee one week folks – what did I win???? |
| So I was already in bed, on my laptop, well not on my laptop, my laptop was on me, ok... never mind .. let me start again. I was in bed, writing on here actually, reading mail etc when Devann came in my room with tea cups of tea. She crawled up in bed with me and asked if I could give her a back massage. She's been having some backaches lately.. standing all day I guess at her job. I said sure and so I did. She's pretty ticklish and complainy when give her a 'real' massage, so it just sort of ended up in a giggly mess after a few minutes. So, we just laid there and drank our tea and chatted. She quit her job today - without really clearing it with me. We have been having a lot of discussions over the past few days because she has been wanting to quit for awhile now. But I guess today she just snapped. Her boss is not very supportive or encouraging and often denigrates the staff in front of others and even customers. I took a holiday a few months back and Dev had to go stay at my stepmom's which is an hour or so north of here, and so Dev had to take time off work - well her boss was not happy and really gave her a hard time - saying she had not been there a year so was not entitled to time off. Which is crap.... Anyway... so she quit. I was just trying to make sure she was not just running away from that job, because of a few crappy people - but in the end, she made a decision, so I have to support that. So things have been a little tense between us, but tonight was just so great. We had a very long talk - two cups of tea worth - and I know I boast about her a lot on here but.... really, she just astounds me with her maturity and thought processes. She understands why I wanted her to stay and try and work it out. When I told her that she should have tried talking to her boss , she agreed. I asked her to look back on her time there (7 months) and ask herself what she could have done differently or better. She was very reflective and willing to take a good look at herself. She said, that she realizes that she was not 100% happy all the time to her customers. She realizes that there were days when she was not smiling or cheerful. It upsets her when people ask her what's wrong and that makes her more upset - i explained to her that she wears her heart on her sleeve and because so much of the time she is happy that when she is unhappy it is very obvious. So she got that. She said also, that she could have tried to ask this one gal at work , who was very rude to her, what was the matter. She said she should have spoken to her to find out what happened or if she had done something to make her mad. She said that when she thinks someone is mad at her, that she reacts mad back. That was what she did earlier today when I was mad when she quit her job. She said that she got mad back at me. But it wasnt even 5 minutes later that she was trying to talk it through with me ( I was the one who asked for a few more minutes to calm down before i could talk about it ) She realizes that meeting anger with anger is not the way to go. She talked about her friend doing that to her at her birthday party . And she said she gets that now too. Then we just talked about stuff, music, boys, school, boys, jobs, and boys sigh.... it was such a heartfelt and very special time together. I had a couple of real crappy things happen today - but those all sort of took a back seat for awhile - as we sipped tea and talked about life. Wow. if she gets one third of this stuff and sticks with it - the world is at her feet. Where was my mom when I had shit to work out while I was growing up? Not around .....that was for sure. So that's it. I wasnt going to blog, didnt have anything I wanted to share really. She told me... aren't you going to talk about me quitting my job? hahaha.... I said NO .. i talk about you all the time!! sheesh Who's blog is this anyway??... you already hacked in here the other day... get your own!! Oh yeah you have one!!! get blogging in it then! hah! that shut her up!!! End of day 6... tonight dev wanted pizza, But what she got was a strange raw dahl, cumin, coriander, soup kinda thingy that i'll admit I didnt even eat much of!!! hahaha And, broccoli salad with grapes, and sunflower seeds - delicious!! dev pushed it around her plate 3 or 4 times, but ate most of it and the staple, thank god for....guacamole and hummous and veggies tomorrow ... who knows??? It will be a surprise to me too. Have a great Sunday all cheers and apple cinnamon tea.. yummmm bugzy ps... seems our dear friend Partyof5 has taken a hiatus from here. I heard through the grapevine that he will be back. It does feel sort of empty in here without him. I hope he comes back soon. I really miss him. Boy, it's rough connecting with people on here, who end up leaving.... I feel like you all are part of my family now. How nice.... I always dreamed of having a big family... and now I just realized my dream has come true.....sigh... |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Special Kay gave me a cnote today with these crazy dudes on it. I mean honestly.... who can stay blue when there's this much pink happening??Don't know if you're allowed to copy and paste these things, so hope I'm not in trouble here --- but just couldn't not share! I've moved around a lot in my life. My Dad was unstable I guess, dunno. We lived in different parts of Canada and even Central America. I think I went to 6 schools, and lived in 27 different houses in my life so far. I have one close girlfriend I have known for 19 years and that's it. I have a couple more friends I speak to on occasion, one I have known for about 15 years but we don't talk that much any more. I was married once for about 4 years and I have had ummm..... too many boyfriends to count this late at night. I move. I change jobs, I change careers, I change my lifestyle, I change my friends. I change my partners. I change my ideas. I change my wants and my dreams. I just change. All the time. That can be a good thing in some respects. I learn a lot. I have had countless great experiences. I have been exposed to different ideas, cultures and challenges. Too bad my memory is whacked, because I am sure I would have had a lot of cool things to write about.... but that's another story. But all that moving and changing was difficult in that I was always shy. Takes me a fair bit to really open up to people and there are not many who know the real me. I don't even know me for the most part it seems. Just when I think I have myself figured out... poof I change. The two gals who I've know for a long time put up with me. They know me fairly well. I can pick up a phone and fill them in, they wouldn't be surprised if I was one of the first people to go live on an underwater colony somewhere (hmmm not sure where that came from) One would ask questions and the other one would shake her head and ask me if it was time for her to mail me a letter I wrote to myself 10 years ago telling me to stop doing strange things. haha..i bet she still really has that letter...she must be saving it for something really big!! forgot about that....haha... What was my point? Not sure. I was going to talk about communication and how that is such a huge challenge for me. My Dad didn't encourage it that's for sure. So it's something that I work on all the time. Not something that comes easy to me. Miscommunication is huge. On here especially. I was thinking how many times, I have whipped off a thought and then have it read completely differently than it was intended. Someday email will have to come with tone of voice or inflections or something I wrote a lot of emails today full of laughter - and emoticon thingies are good to a point. But even is not quite what I need sometimesNo that was limiting today ....especially with a couple of sweet folks on here who took time out to check up on me and make me split my spleen. Sounds painful and it was hahaha But I get thoughts and I try to convey them, which is challenging. I do my best to speak out - but I am still learning. I haven't had the greatest success in this department. And sometimes... well more than sometimes, when I take a big risk and say something, it usually doesn't work out how I expected. Then I say to myself... why did you say anything, it just made things worse? But... I keep trying. I have to believe that I have to keep speaking out. The alternative is not an option. So.. I guess here is my thought for today. If I say something and you don't get it, or think I am saying something you don't like. Assume that I meant it with the best of intentions. Then you can come at me with a giant bullshit stamp ( where did i see that today.... in a blog somewhere...hmmm.. may have been Al's or dunno ) and get me to rewrite and do an edit.. I'm good at that. So maybe we should all do that. Make the assumption that no harm was intended and then check back before we freak out. Just a thought. Anyway folks end of day 5 of the raw stuff. I ate great today. Dev however protested at the raw curried quinoa with grapes, and sunflower seeds. Forgot to take a pic... damn cause she said it looked like fish eggs and that was all there was to that... lucky we still have a few carrots!! Oh NOW I remember what my initial point was .....hahaha...carrots reminded me..... it was just to be so grateful for friends I have on here that know me better than I know myself. And for such support and encouragement and wow. A few made me cry... and quite a few more made me laugh. Hard to have a down day on here with you guys around. Amazing really. I used to go down and stay down for days... seems lately, I go down and one email can have me right back up. Better than a work out at the gym... wahoo! Ok glad I remembered, that's it for today then ....Yuppers... lucky gal I am fer sure. cheerios (oh nope ....no more of those baked little goodies... its raw oatmeal.. bleckk..think I'll pass) bugzy |
| I'm in a bit of a downer mood tonight – no reason really ( ok bring it on... the lack of FOOD might be the cause... ) there... beat you all to it.....waaa But seriously, life is pretty damn good for the most part, shouldn't complain about it really. Woke up in a good mood. Had a weird feeling in my head though... seems someone was in there planting subliminal messages to get me to eat cow tongues... but somehow I resisted and had a banana, berry, nutmeg smoothie instead. Had great food today really. I am getting damn creative with what there is to work with - which is quite a lot surprisingly enough. And here's dessert – which I never make, but somehow 'treats' seem critical when you don't eat the usual good stuff. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Strawberry banana pie Didn't get much work done today. I seemed scattered can't focus. Sometimes my to-do-list just gets too long and I get stymied – so maybe that's it. Which is not quite right either, got a rewrite done, finished another edit on my erotica piece, started a new edit, looked for jobs, made food, which takes a lot more time these days believe it or not, drove dev to work and back, went for a hike, watered the garden, blogged alot!, laughed ALOT, split a spleen, said OMG way too many times today, had two therapy sessions with Dr welkerdeb which set me straight, sort of. But something is just not quite right and can't seem to figure out with it is. It's like something is there, but just out of my reach. I keep stretching out further and further, but I can't touch it. My energy is being pulled in different directions, and I feel like I dash from here to there and not really focusing enough to any one thing well or get it finished. So bits are done here and there, then I dash around to do a piece more of something else. Need to make a list. Get a few of the things taken care of that are hanging over me. Need to get organized and set up a plan. I have to get more work, or ... well.... I can't even go there. Fear.. that's what's hanging around tonight. Fear, that I just can't do this. Can't hold onto this life I have worked so hard for. It's like it's just 20 days away from slipping away and the faster I paddle the deeper I'm sinking. One of my editors told me that something is holding me back. She asked me what was different from my bank job when I was pulling 6 figures, to now when I'm lucky to be pulling 3. What is different from then when I was so 'successful' to now? I'm still the same person, smarter and better I hope. So what is limiting me? What is holding me back? What do I need to do to make this work? dunno... couldn't answer her questions. Told her to give me an assignment of 2000 words or less and I'd write her up something good. Seems I need someone to tell me what to do. Feeling a bit lost. Yah that's more like it. Lost. Don't know which way to go next. Have they invented a gps for our lives yet? Maybe Nada knows... maybe I'll text her. Need a life line here. Or a job. Or a miracle. So any spares out there, send them on. I'll pay you back..... promise. bugz |
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