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2,653 Public Reviews Given
4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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326
326
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Your rating title, and genres are all appropriate.

Your story reads well.
I did not notice any typos or grammar errors.

Suggestions/Errors:
I understand this is fantasy but it is really unbelievable.
There are a few thing I think you could do...one set this up a little more. Not just have one day you are on the island...??

Another would maybe show yourself waking up at the end as if you were dreaming.
I could see this more as a fantasy/dream.

Or why not let him pick/ why sit there and die?? If he chose one, then the fantasy could advance anyway!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
327
327
Review of I AM  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for entering my contest
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

Your title and rating are appropriate.
I like how you use the shapes for people.

I really like this part:
I am
meaningless squiggles
waiting to take shape,

I also like the part about being erased!

suggestions:
Add some genres, they help your item get exposure.

Keep writing.
Tammy
328
328
Review of Man  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*

I like your ending stanza and especially the line with sorrow.

You briefly show a confused man who has went through some bad times.
I'd like to know more on this man and his life.

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
Watch your repetition of words.
In stanza two you have from three times.

You could add one more genre, maybe personal or emotional or bio.

I think you should try and personalize this a little.
Maybe add a few more details on why you feel this way.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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329
329
Review of Silence  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your emotions come through very strong in this.
I felt the bitterness and weariness of one who has been hurt before.

I think many who have been hurt by another will easily identify with these words.

I like this stanza the best:
'Grace is a uniform
you wear only too well,
but on the hypocrisy of that
I'm too tired to dwell'
Very polite way to say that!

Your ending sums this up very well.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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330
330
Review of Blight white  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Very cool title.

Your stanza one is strong and should make the reader want to read more.
I like the contrast of the colors of that stanza.
The white vs the red blood (that your words show the reader)!


*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
Add some genres to your item, they help it get exposure.

sarcasm swells swooning hearts for sickening
songs of sadistic singers
I stumbled over this a little..it's a little like a tongue twister.
You kind of have this in the ending of the other stanzas but this one I feel was a little much!

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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331
331
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your title, rating and genre are appropriate.

You show you love well throughout in this.
You show you thinking with your heart and not your head...love tends to make us do this!

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*
Cold air will swallow your left present.
A little confusing. Is present supposed to be presence?
try;
Cold air will swallow your presence.

The alarm on my watch ring forces me to descide.
decide

Tonight my desire to explore unfimiliar ground
unfamiliar

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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332
332
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Gift1*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Gift2*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
Your title and rating are good.
Your poem is very vivid in places, especially the red puddles and the black caresses.

I like stanza three and how you take the blame.
I think its human nature that we always turn things like this into our fault.

Your ending is very strong.

*Gift3* SUGGESTIONS*Note3*

Add some genres to your poem, they help it to get exposure.

*Gift5* Keep writing!

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333
333
Review of LITTLE LOST SHEEP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*
*Leaf2* Your rating, title and genres are good.
I like how you repeat the title throughout.

I really like your first two sentences, they make the reader want to know more.
Sorry for your loss.

This brought tears to my eyes.
I lost my Mom in 2004 and identify with every word you have here.

The last stanza really hits home.
Thanks for sharing this with us all.
*Leaf4*
*Leaf5* Keep writing!

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334
334
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Leaf1*OVERALL IMPRESSIONS*Note3*

*Leaf2* I enjoyed your poem.
Your words are sad to begin with but the ending is inspirational.

Since I live a thousand miles from my family, (what's left) this really touched me.
It made me think of past Thanksgiving..gravey and all!
My family has dwindled down much like your poem indicates.

Thanks for sharing such honest and inspirational writing with us.

My favorite lines and a great reminder!
Yet blessings abound that we need to recognize
and not question God on the 'hows' or the 'whys'.

(This just makes me more determined to instill traditions in my 2 kids.)

*Leaf5* Keep writing!

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335
335
Review of Miscellaneous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating and genres are good.
I like the title; it feels like a contradiction compared to the subject you are writing on.

I think you capture part of the world really well.
A part that affects us all in some way.

Your ending is strong and really makes one think.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Watch your repetition of words and your use of filler words.

In stanza one you could cut these in the first line and this in the third line.

In stanza 3 you could cut a couple of the ofs.

All just little things that cuts the repetition and filler words and help with the read/flow of your thoughts/feelings.


Keep writing.

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336
336
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for entering my contest
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.
I like the ending.

Your last two stanzas are really strong.
You keep the last two lines simply but they are very effective at capturing the picture you leave your readers with.

suggestions:
You might add a brief author's note at the bottom of this.
I wasn't familiar with a few of your words and had to look some of them up.
(koeksister, naartjies)

Keep writing, Tammy
337
337
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Great poem, I hope you shared it with your wife.
She is lucky to have you, your words are sweet and romantic...with just a touch of humor slid in.

I like your comparisons of nature and love.
Your ending sums this all up very well.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Only one, I think I would go through and put some periods in this and end some of your thoughts.


Keep writing.

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338
338
Review of THE DREAM  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating , title and genres are all good.

Great dream, one many of us have!!
I actually have made Friday my cleaning day so that I do not have to do it on the weekend!
: )

You set the dream up well by showing others doing the mundane chores.
Your poem reads/flows well.
You present it well with the centering and the spacing.

I like the lines on waking me with a cup of tea!


Keep writing.

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339
339
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
I like your thoughts on time.
I like stanza two the best.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think I'd have tic-toc instead of tic tac (that makes me think of a breath mint! lol)

Your rhyming is all over the place, you might try a rhyming pattern.

Keep writing.

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340
340
Review of Her  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
You show your readers a very strong (but cold) woman with your words.
I like your descriptions of the characteristics she has.

My favorite stanza:
'Will of iron
Spine of steel
Slow to break
Hard to heal'

Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres to your poem, they help to get you more exposure.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
341
341
Review of Crimson Regret  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Wow, drastic measures.
The sheath going in is vivid!

You show her emotions well in this.

I like these lines;
'A tear on a cheek blushing rose petals and fire,'
&
'The distant feel of his hand burned in her flesh,
She can never be rid of his tormenting caress'

Suggestions/Errors:
Eyes burned out long ago, And with it took her desire.
I wouldn't have and capitalized here.

Add some genres to your item.
death, tragedy, romance/love or drama

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
342
342
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in "Invalid Item"  and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

I like your thoughts on a one-way love.
It's always makes for a bad relationship if one is in more deeper than the other.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I like the spacing in stanzas 1,2&4...did you mean to do it?
and why not have it the same in stanza 3???

Keep writing.

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343
343
Review of RUSTY  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Great tribute to your childhood pet.
I could feel your love for him through your poem.

Great ending.
You rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Suggestions/Errors:
minor things;

I think I would add some punctuation to this.

Watch your use of filler words. (and the that those)
And your repetition of words.
(You have never twice and you three times in stanza one.)

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
344
344
Review of A very bad day  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Your first para is strong and makes your reader want to know more.

Love your descriptions...throughout you have vivid and unique descriptions.
I like the boot-sucking-off mud one in para one!

I don't have any family in the war nor have I ever been in the military...and for me you really personalize this character and show me what one feels, hears and sees that is over there.

Wow, what a situation to be in, your ending gave me goose-bumps.
Thanks for the pleasurable read.

Suggestions/Errors:
He hadn’t even seen his daughter who would two months old next week
add be after would.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
345
345
Review of A Cry for Help  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX " 

My Overall impression:
Your title and genres are good.

You really share a part of yourself with your readers.
This starts out honest and full of emotions and shows a very positive ending.
This was probably hard to share, but writing can really be an emotional release too.

Suggestions/Errors:
I think this reads like a prose so I'd change the Other and put this static item as a prose.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
346
346
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

My favorite part;
'Through great effort and sacrifice we search
Complexities of such magnitude to torment the mind'

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think your poem would benefit with some punctuation.

I think line one would read better if you cut both.

With direction and purpose without compassion or feeling
try;
With direction and purpose not compassion or feeling

Keep writing.

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347
347
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I like the title and it fits well.
Your rating and genres are good.

I like how you combine nature with love in your poem.

The font and size looks good and makes for easy reading.

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
a couple of minor thing
In stanza five I don't think you need the first period. I think that is sentence fragment with the first three lines.

I know you are near,
but it seems so far away.
I think I would cut the it here.
maybe
I know you are near,
but seem so far away.

Keep writing.

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348
348
Review of Observation  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf4*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Leaf1* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.
I agree with all that you have here.
I think you show human nature well.

This part is strong and true:
'I’m always inclined to play the part of the fool
though it’s a facade;
I know all the rules.'

*Leaf2* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I think you should have the last line in stanza one as you have the rest of your stanzas.

I’ve come back broken and lost
-but was never defeat.
A little awkward, try;
I’ve come back broken and lost
-but never in defeat.

Keep writing.

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349
349
Review of Reviewer's Club  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Leaf1* *Leaf2* OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your rating, title and genres all fit well.
Great use of the writingMLs.

Your colors are bright and easy to read.
Your forum is colorful and easy to follow.

This is a very creative idea.
This is a neat way to get reviews and exposure for you and the reviewer.

I like that you included the links for reviewing and the guidelines.


*Leaf1* *Leaf5* KEEP WRITING!
*Leaf2**Leaf3*Tammy
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350
350
Review of hopefully  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX   (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~


My Overall impression:
Great ending.

I like this thought:
between the crest of false dawn and trough of realistic emptiness.

Suggestions/Errors:
In line one I would cut off.

but these temporary highs of her occur all too
Should this be hers?

back after her jaw muscles put their guard down, she caught herself awoken and clear
This line is confusing...

Wake up and continue to be your family clown
family's clown

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
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