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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tm_lvn_nurse
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2,653 Public Reviews Given
4,011 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title is good.
Your poem tells a story.

favorite lines;
Guided, by a fearless captain
Like the sailing moon on a starless sky.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You can change your other genre to action/adventure or men's.

You may want to check the rating system, I think since you have a reference to alcohol and a knife
you need to make the content rating higher.

*Star*Keep writing. Tammy
2
2
Review of writers world  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title is fitting.

All here should identify with these thoughts and feelings.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
You could change your other genre to personal or experience.

Is this meant to be a poem or prose?
I wasn't sure. Reads more like a prose.

Is this finished? It feels like there should be more?...maybe some thoughts on how
rewarding writing can be...?

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Reviewed Tammy
3
3
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title, intro and genres are good.

Your poem flows well and is easy to read.

I think we all experience times where we border on insanity!

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I would expand a little...maybe add a stanza on where you mind has actually gone. It would make this more personal and
add to the emotion of your poem.

*Star*Keep writing. Tammy
4
4
Review of Edgewise  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your rating, title, intro and genres are appropriate.

Great twist at the end, I feel he deserved it though.
I was already hating your character Brad!
You develop both the characters well in this short story.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
we should conserve your strength and have a ceremony that's small, quiet and dignified."
should we be capitalized?

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
5
5
Review of Shifting Sands  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your rating, title, intro and genres are all appropriate.

Very pretty poem, your imagery is good throughout...I was on the beach.
Your presentation of the poem and color is nice and relaxing.
All making for a great read.

favorite stanza;
Shards of glass blending
forming a mosaic of danger,
like hidden colored daggers,
for tender toes to unearth.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
You might include in the intro or somewhere the form you use.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
6
6
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
I enjoyed reading this.
You show your relationship well with your father.

Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Unfortunately, we see this in divorce all too often, with one or both of the parent.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
Instinctually, I weighed my options -
instinctually following the small air bubbles escaping upward
Should this be instinctively?

Plunging deep into the olympic sized pool,
Olympic

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
7
7
Review of Splinter  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title is appropriate.
I like the play on words with the actual splinter and your life.
Didn't expect the ending but it was fitting.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
Check your spacing between lines they are off in a few areas.

Change your other genre to personal or experience.

Due to your use of the f-word your rating is wrong and needs to be changed probably to 18+ but you should check the content rating page.
Which once you change this, it will not qualify for this contest.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing!
Tammy
8
8
Review of Nightmare  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genre are appropriate.

Your imagery throughout is strong.

Your ending is good.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
I had to read this twice, I get where you were going with this....but feel you need to really expand some on the character herself and the life she led. Who is nightmare?, where is she? How did she get to this place. I know you are talking of aging but expand!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
9
9
Review of The Closet Door  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


Your rating, title, intro and genres are all appropriate.
Your intro is clever and should draw your readers in.

Very cute read.
I enjoyed your story, it read poetically in areas.

We all have fears and I think most will identify with your feelings here and apply them to their own unrealistic fears.

*Star* My Overall impression:

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
10
10
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres fit well.

Very pretty letter full of yearning, hope and love. You show your inner strength and love
with every word. Your feelings come across so very strong and you show your readers what this feels like.
I have had a miscarriage and some of your thoughts hit me strong.
Thanks for sharing you words, love and hope with your readers.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
Continue your 'search' and always have hope.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
11
11
Review of Children of Babel  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


*Star* My Overall impression:
Your title and introduction to your poem is good.

Your poem flows well and your rhymes are good.

favorite lines;
Don't run from the the heat, no matter how hard the battle
The towers are burning oh children of Babel.

*Idea* Suggestions/Errors:
You need to rate your item.

Instead of other as a genre you could use tragedy or war.
Genres help your item to get more exposure.

On a personal note.....Your use of the word the so much is a little distracting.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing! Tammy
12
12
Review of Late at Night  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Your nightmare comes through very well.
All with insomnia will identify with these thoughts and feelings.

favorite line;
The sun's a rising loaf, fresh, baking.
Unique thought!

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Watch your tenses.
In line one and two you change it up, change come in line two to came to match rest of poem.

In stanza 6 you have and 3 times, maybe change by removing the 3rd and and change that line to
galloping into dark....

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
13
13
Review of Finding Myself  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

I think your readers will easily identify with your thoughts here.

favorite lines;
So paper thin so ready to fall apart
At the slightest breeze of disappointment
Good comparison here and of how we feel at times!

Great ending on the bright colors and finding one self.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Change you other genre to personal or inspirational.


*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
14
14
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Very inspirational read. It's full of hope and faith.

I like that your ending stanza is also the starting stanza, it brings your thoughts/feelings across well.
I think your readers will identify with your thoughts on prayer and hope.

favorite lines:
He knows all the pain and the suffering,
He knows that we just don't understand
why He calls some home, without feeling
the wonder and power of His healing hand.

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
15
15
Review of God's Heavy Hand  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are good.

I'm a nurse and been around many diabetics, so this helps me to understand somewhat how they feel.

This is a great tribute to this Captain Roger and the EMT crew.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Instead of other as your genre use medical or experience. Your genres will help your item get exposure.

Surface for air
breath, relax
I'd change this to breathe.

You have a few ? and one ! but you don't have ending punctuation throughout.
I'd add more ending punctuation.

*Star*Keep writing.
tammy
16
16
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Your first line is strong and your readers will identify with it.

my favorite part;
In the shadow of the cross I could feel His saving grace,
in the shadow of the cross I could see His gentle face.
I like the repetition of these lines.

Very pretty poem, it tells a story full of hope. Your poetry is always so very encouraging.
THANKS for sharing it with us all.

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
17
17
Review of The Winter Woods  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are appropriate.

Your imagery throughout is good.

favorite part;
While the warm welcome form of the neighboring cabin
Gives hope in the form of a flickering light.
I could see the neighboring cabin.


*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Change your genre other to environment or family. This will help your item get more exposure.

Only one small change;
In lines 7 and 8 you have form in each line, I'd remove form in line 7.


*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
18
18
Review of Space in Silence  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title and rating are good.

Awesome line;
Travelling inwards now seeking space

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
just one error
Travelling inwards now seeking space
spelling
Traveling inwards now seeking space

one suggestion;
change your other genre
maybe use travel or experience

*Star*Keep writing.
tammy
19
19
Review of Midnight Crazy  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

I like that you include what inspired your writing...insomnia!

Very good ending.

favorite lines;
Fear and its demons come out of the closet,
Catching me off guard, freaked under the covers

Suggestions:
You use punctuation throughout but not any ending punctuation, I'd add some ending punctuation.

some small suggestions;
And the menace of the oncoming makes me lay still and ponder
try
While menace of the oncoming makes me lay still and ponder

And there as if from nowhere I regained my strength,
And fear and all its demons started leaving my domain
try
As if from nowhere I regained my strength,
fear and all its demons started leaving my domain


Keep writing!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
20
20
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item" Open in new Window. and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your genres are appropriate.

I've never tried doing an acrostic like this, cool idea!

favorite part;
I like to think someday you and me;
Setting the lawn, making birds fly free!

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Maybe a more unique title.
suggestions from your poem;
Having You in His Time
Be My Dreams
It's You

You need to rate your item.

A few small changes to help with the flow of this - read your poetry aloud to see how the lines flow.
example;
Let time proves, you'll know - I don’t tell lie
try
Let time prove, you'll know - I don't lie
or
Let time prove and you'll know - I don't lie.

View it every time when I'm alone
try
Viewing it every time when I'm alone

Be my dreams thrive in reality.
try
Be my dreams, thrive in reality.

Yes! Its you who makes my days complete
try
Yes! It's you who makes my days complete

*Star*Keep writing.
tammy
21
21
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your ending ask some good questions, makes one think.

favorite part;
Do I have the courage to look in the mirror
To face my true self without any fear?

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
A few small things that I feel help with the flow of your poem.
In line 5 try removing the second the.
In line 20 I'd remove and.

*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
22
22
Review of Only For Me  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your rating, title and genres are appropriate.

Nice tribute to the one you love.
Your emotions come through strong.

favorite part;
The stars will twinkle down from the heavens
And shimmer around us like tiny sparkles of snow

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
I'd watch the use of filler words that you have throughout, like the, and, that...removing these will help with the
overall flow of your poem.
ex;
The sparks that shimmer in your mind!
try
The sparks shimmering in your mind!


*Star*Keep writing.
tammy
23
23
Review of Words  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The title and rating is appropriate.

I like the way you write this, your anger and hurt flow out well.
You show your readers your pain.


*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Add genres to this. Instead of other, try personal, experience or love/romance.

Try to swallow. choke.
Capitalize choke or make that 1st period a comma.

Keep writing.
Tammy
24
24
Review of Half a Red Heart.  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
Your intro is good and I like that you include what inspired your poem.

The repetition throughout works well.
Great ending.

*Star* MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Only one, I'd remove the period in the tilte,

Good luck!
*Star*Keep writing.
25
25
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Star* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
.
Your intro, rating, title and genres are all appropriate.

Each stanza and finishing line shows a touching story that leaves your reader thinking.
Each stanza in it's own way shows what is important in life.

favorite part:
The stanza on the nurse. I am a nurse and see too often where the patient is forgotten; we get caught
up in doing our procedures and paperwork and forget the patient.

Thanks for the read, it definitely left me thinking.

Good luck.
*Star*Keep writing.
Tammy
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