You forget to mention that that boy saves that town and in a very real way,each child that is abused has to save themself at some point. It's true what you do with your past will determine where you are going in the future and there are times you can not control the memories or what happens to make them come back full force.
It's all about the choice to heal. Thank you for sharing this.
You ask a lot of really good questions and I like poetry that makes me think. I do think it is all those things and so much more. It's also not something that can be defined and it is different for everyone and I know after 20 years of marriage my stomach is not involved anymore. LOL
I think this style of poetry flows well, but you ask so many questions, I wonder where are the questions marks? I'm not an editor of poetry, just something I noticed lacking in your poem.
Thanks for sharing and welcome to Writing.com
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I have oftened wondered about the over-populated ads of tv sex and idol worship. It has been a part of our past and it will continue into our future. Don't forget it wasn't very long ago kids at age 12 were getting married and starting families...They had no childhood at all, because they had to work. We need to find some balance and take away the glamour. Of course guys like Tiger are making that easy. I would love to give this a higher rating then a 4 star, but find your ranting about Britney goes off track. You could really have a powerful message here if you take out the personal rants and get to telling the truth without the inflamatory remarks. Just my opinion of course. Thanks for sharing and write on!
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What a sweet sig! That Kiyasama sure does a great job! I know I owe you three reviews and a new bracelet. I was just checkin in the see what is new. I keep forgetting all the things I have going on in this site. I will email you about the bracelet. Anyway...Nice design and I will get back to your reviews now...
What an awesome and adorable Riendeer you have spinning in your port!!! I love this whole idea and I am off to purchase some spins for my lucky friends! Thanks for sharing your generous heart with this activity! I love the whole creative set-up!!
Happy Holidays!
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What I really liked about this poem, is the story. The story of getting the signs from God to meet your mother. My son always tells me he saw me from heaven and picked me. He has been telling me this story sense he was three years old. I often wonder how much is his imagination and how much is his reality. He is 8. So this poem really struck hard at my heart strings. I believe it's a gift to mother a child, as much as it is for the child to appreciate the gift of life. You are indeed blessed and I am glad you shared your story in poetry.
Welcome to Writing.com
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Someday that poem will be written...I am sure one of many! It can be so frustrating wanting to write the perfect poem and only be stuck by some kind of block. I get in that place too often. I have to be pushed by emotions and even frustrating moments don't seem to be enough for me anymore. Anyway, enough about me,...I love this and I know you will find those magic words. You will!
I wanted to say what an honor it is to call you friend and mentor. You have inspired me with your honesty and recalling of your horrible addiction. It is not easy to face our enemy, let alone share that journey with others. You have! I wish you continued success as you slay this dragon! You are one strong woman and you can move mountains when you put that strong will and wonderful mind of yours to work! Thanks for helping so many writers at Writing.com!
I think we can see the image here of the bird raising from the ashes, but what I feel is lacking is the emotional connection between the despair of being down. We all have to face the ups and downs of life. I feel your questions but wonder if you could add more passion? You know it could be me. I am a little down these days. Sorry. Write on and Welcome to WDC!
Oh it's that time of year to celebrate the CHILD! How lucky you are to be blessed with such beautiful grandbabies! I hope you get plenty of changes to spoil them like crazy this season! Your not really a mean one!!
I believe in the gift of love, of giving of oneself and to see how that seed grows. We can only hope that someday our child will give us back the comfort we tried to give them. It is a gift for sure, but has no guarantee. I only have one suggestion, I thin the second line would flow better if you wrote A hand I once held so dear, is now holding mine in times of need. It's just a suggestion.
Thank and Happy Holiday!
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When we try and try to help others, what we really learn is that we can only really help ourself. If someone needs help, they have to be willing to be open to getting some. I think many can relate to the frustration and desire in your words. I hope the friendship can outlast the trouble. I see nothing here that needs correcting. Thanks for sharing and welcome to WDC!
This is a Simply Positive reivew, I am glad that they highlighted your poem. I only have one suggestion and that is to fix the i in the first line. Otherwise, I loved this. I can relate in many ways, my mom died 7 years ago and my little girl still wonders where she is...I mean really...It's an awesome wonder at times and hard to face. Life goes on for those left behind. It's the way it is. May Grandma always be with you!
Thank you for letting me give you a Simply Positive review,
What a fun way of having someone admire you and write something witty and fun! Plus it's so true! Only now, your not a yellow fellow but an awesome blueberry! LOL The gift of friendship is well represented in this poem, I can offer no suggestions to improve it! Perfect 5 stars all the way!
Thank you for your entry in the Fields of Poetry contest. I am only one judge of many.
What an awesome idea for a poem. I mean of course he would have been sad to leave his spot and place. I never think about this moment and what an impact it had on the human race and our world that we keep. Stunning image and I love it! Thank you for sharing your talent.
Thank you for your entry in the Fields of Poerty contest. I am only one judge of many.
What a clever way of saying nothing! This actually made me chuckle. I think we tend to take life so seriously and really...Do we have that much control? Do we???? Interesting and thought provoking and a fun entry. Great job!
Write on!
Michelle
Thank you for your entry in the Fields of Poetry contest. I am only one of many judges.
I love the imagery of the sea being dark, like an angry cloud. That is great imagery, Isuppose I feel a little lost about knowing who the strangers really are...but perhaps that is why they are strangers? I don't know...but the storm and the sea I can see and feel. Thanks
Write on!
Michelle
Thank you for your entry in th Fields of Poetry contest. I am only one judge of many.
What a sad poem! Sure you have a happy ending, but to wait so long to feel the love is sad. It is sad that only at the end you find comfort in the Lords arms. I would like to think that he would be with you all the time from birth on. It is a story of faith that is not being teached, not being understood. I think we must have some kind of faith to help us on this journey in life. I don't want to wait at the end of the line to get that comfort...I am seeking it now!! Thanks for sharing your powerful words.
Don't you know I wish you were sitting here with me when I was reading this. I think I would have made you laugh!! OMG...You are evil and wonderful and sinful and fun! You have too much talent for one man! I am so taking this one out tonight! This is a must read for my girl friends!!!! Thank you Thank YOU!
I am so glad you bid on one of my packages, I don't know from what auction this is, only that I am here to spoil you. Well, in reality you are spoiling me! I love your words and the way you can play with emotions and sensations. The way you draw the reader into the poets world. It's like I am standing at the window and remembering and feeling and knowing exactly what that means to be done. To be lost by a love that couldn't last. Contest or not, you always know what you want to say when you write and I love that. Thanks for sharing!
1. Following the prompt, I kind of wish you would have put it in bold, but I didn't write that in the rules, but your the first story...So, now I will. I bet this was hard, but you did it. I liked the way you developed this, and I kind of wish you would have said...Just how HOT it was in Bakersfield. I live in Michigan, so anything over 30 in December is HOT! LOL
2. Easy to Read. Entertaining too! I love holiday time, and even old fashioned lights, I can't imagine an all blue tree. You know my parents had those same kind of super bulbs. They don't make em like that anymore!
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. Great job, I didn't see anything that needed correcting.
Only you can take me to the edge of pleasure and then drop me like a hot patatoe! I hate when that happens and lucky for me, I don't run into many lesbians!! Once again you charm me with your poetry and wit! Oh I hope you win this contest! You deserve it!
Write on and I hope you had a fun Thanksgiving break!
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It's my pleasure to give you a Simply Positive review! Your right this is not for everyone, because some people fail to look that deep inside and see the irony of your words. They don't look at the big picture and wonder if someone is holding the strings, are we just puppets playing in hell? I love the imagery of never getting out of the way of evil. You might not come right out and say it, but I feel it in your words. I like the darkness that you dwell in. For some reason, I alway come away feeling better. Thanks for sharing your talent!
Wow, it sounds like you live in a beautiful place. I would love to be able to see Mountians. I live in Michigan and no such luck. LOL....I agree we have to live in the moment and enjoy the place we are planted. I only have a few suggestions to help improve this powerful piece of writing. I am not an editor, so you can take this or not. However, you should place a comma after it. And take out the period after pass, with it nature....etc..just to improve the flow of that sentence. Thanks and Write on!
You are making me laugh, I want to know...How in the world do you get the right answer? They all seem posible, but I have droplets of Jupiter in my hair...So you know where I am going! Okay, once this makes sense I might actually agree, I never get pi after Thanksgiving, and given my luck, I don't get much before! I hope you get the answer you are seeking oh clever one!
Write on!!
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