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2,324 Public Reviews Given
2,324 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, DragonBlue . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Within the Light of Blue-II"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Passageways of dew bedecked with rainbows glimmer and shine in a magical mist. The reader is urged to pass through some quickly. Their mysterious nature includes being both hot and cold, circular and divided by the tides of emotion in the house of many colors.


*Quill*Commentary

This talked of passing through but not of a destination. It talked of the beauty of the passageways and the conflicting swirling colors and emotions that surrounded the reader rather than of any meaning. It describes someone who is trapped inside the moment, in the beauty of the traveler's experience, but it lacks purpose and any kind of past or future. It reminded me of double rainbows I have seen or traveling back home with beautiful sunshine on one side of the road and a raging thunderstorm with blue lightning on the other with a rainbow arch before me. The experience of the travel was such I just wanted it to carry on and did not care when I got home.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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652
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Cappucine . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "the bad shared sandwich"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

An amusing poem about a bad sandwich, an interesting conversation, and maybe something else also. They shared a bad sandwich, did not talk about it afterward. Everything tastes better, out of doors.

*Quill*Commentary

An exquisite description of a very poorly constructed sandwich. Very sensual language is used to describe the interaction with the sandwich with implications that something else happened in the cool skirts of a Moreton Bay fig tree, where he grew a wet mustache and she probed the roof of her mouth, with a thickened, coated tongue.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You seemed to use English spelling rather than American. So maybe this is located in Moreton Bay Australia? No errors just poetic license.


Thanks for sharing.

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653
653
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, T.J.P. . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Till We Have Faces - Psych. analysis"  via a search for 'Psychology.' This review is a part of a project of plundering the WDC archives reviewing previous writing on this subject. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is an exploration of the key personalities in CS Lewis's work "Till we have faces" and how they use the five kinds of power: coercive, reward, legitimate, expert, and referent. Orual is about masks, and concealment of her face and feelings, and the people assume she must therefore be ugly. But she loves her sister Psyche. Apart from that, she is cold and bitter. When Psyche is taken away she complains to the gods.
Psyche (or mind) is beautiful and socially venerated with suspected healing powers. She loves even her half-sister Orual. She is constantly giving, positive and cheerful.
Orual as a queen is respected because she has the referent kind of power partly because she releases slaves. Her sister Redival uses the power that is legitimate because given to her but often for her own agendas. The King her father Trom is an example of coercive power.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

CS Lewis wrote at a time when the Greeks were still dominant in a world governed by Europeans and European offshoots. Here he retells the story of Cupid and Psyche. Orual moves in this novel from someone who is whining to the gods to a more positive personality in the second half who understands that her own failings motivated her initial accusations. But your focus was on how the different characters used power.

The new globalism is a challenge to Hellenism that informs many of our historical cultural choices. But Lewis wrote in a different age where the Greek's historic cultural dominance was still unquestioned. Here we have Lewis redrafting a Greek myth to add to the collection of tales about the gods and kings they so often describe. The analysis of the different kinds of power is an interesting one and so also tying that into the different characters in CS Lewis's work.

Lewis thought this was his best novel but I must admit I preferred the Narnia Chronicles.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Some space between paragraphs might have made the piece easier to read and makes it seem less crowded on the page.

dissagree - disagree

encouragment - encouragement

referant - referent


Thanks for sharing.

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654
654
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, xxx. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received {item:} via a search for 'Psychology.' This review is a part of a project of plundering the WDC archives reviewing previous writing on this subject. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Man#s eternal quest is for love. The thirst for money gets in the way of that and distorts how we look at life and relationships. Give with your heart and expect miracles.


*Quill*Commentary

That love should triumph over Mammon is a worthy statement to make. But what is love? When I tell my wife of 21 years that I love her she will reply with something like prove it. My philosophy and indeed theology is saturated with talk of love but the link with actions that demonstrate my love for my wife and family is something that is still a work in progress. Love manifests in history or it is abstract and maybe meaningless. Jesus is God and as such He is love but it is as a man that He demonstrates what love means, it is in actions and miracles and giving even unto death that He shows us how much He loves us. Your words read as if love were some kind of impersonal force or abstract disposition but in practice love only means something inside relationships with real people in real literal-historical circumstances. It is a relationship with God, with a wife, with children, and with others. Love always has a context.

There were a lot of irritating small mistakes in this text that disrupted my inner peace *Wink*

*Quill*Mechanical issues

A lot of issues with commas that could be corrected with a free Grammar tool like Grammarly.

I am a young man in early thirties - I am a young man in my early thirties

there are some relationships in our lives which cannot be ā€œboughtā€ - there are some relationships in our lives that cannot be ā€œboughtā€

I re-discover myself that indeed times are changed - you already said I so myself is unnecessary

What else is there in this small planet other than the sweetest times with our family. - What else is there in this small planet other than the sweetest times with our family?

Time to cheer up and look forward for a great tomorrow. - Time to cheer up and look forward to a great tomorrow.


Thanks for sharing.

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655
655
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, xxx. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received {item:} via a search for 'Psychology.' This review is a part of a project of plundering the WDC archives reviewing previous writing on this subject. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A behavioral approach to human psychology that examines the reasons for human dissatisfaction. The aim here is to promote mental peace.


*Quill*Commentary

Your first paragraph lays out your credentials for writing this and provides a quick introduction to what you plan to say. You say you have always been fascinated, that you read the right stuff and that you are keenly observant. This might sound a little abstract and not that authoritative to many readers who will now test your claims by what you actually say rather than relax into the piece thinking - Oh this is an expert talking.

You refer to esteemed names that you have read but never quote any or show any understanding of what they might have written. These are your opinions. The influence of negative powers and what these might be is not properly defined.

You differentiate between an internal and external settlement with one's environment.

I found the writing and thinking a little confused and also to lack the authority you claimed for it in your first paragraph. There are different fields of psychology and different approaches to it than behavioral ones and these were not mentioned here. For example, a psychiatrist will treat psychological conditions by examining possible material causes for them like mental disease or impairment for example. Sometimes drugs can be used to correct hormonal imbalances. People from religious groups usually have worked out approaches relating to a person's interaction with the divine and their accountability for choices they make. Make the right choices and watch yourself heal, make the wrong ones, and continue the downward spiral. In practice, a combination of community support, internal self-reflection, good choices, good theology, proper physical analysis can all be a part of a successful psychological approach and strategy for healing and indeed inner peace.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are a lot of issues and I recommend you apply a free grammar tool to the text like Grammarly. You use capitals where you should not are chaotic on commas and miss words a lot. Sometimes you confuse plural and singular using these not this.

From the first paragraph for example:

By answering all the questions of human mind, effort has been made to present the solution in the simplest possible way. The significance of this topic asks one understand the working patterns - By answering all the questions of the human mind, an effort has been made to present the solution in the simplest possible way. The significance of this topic asks one to understand the working patterns


Thanks for sharing.

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656
656
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, landmammal . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Divorce a Detrimental Social Phenomenon"  via a search for 'psychology.' This review is a part of a project of plundering the WDC archives reviewing previous writing on this subject. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author speaks of the decay of the nuclear family as a result of divorce. This has repercussions for peoples reasons for living, emotional and behavioral issues,
Divorce is now easy to achieve and most occur for trivial reasons. More than fifty percent of marriages now fail. People are no happier after a divorce and the families they leave fall into disrepair as a result. The effect on children is a serious impact. There are impacts on psychological health and it is clearly better for a child to have an unbroken home. The family is important for society as a whole.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Today is my 21st Wedding anniversary. And who said there was not a God, miracles do happen! I entirely agree that divorce is bad with impacts on children especially. Also, it is way too easy and I know of too many examples that were done on a whim. In my church community divorce is rare and shocking. In my personal networks, I can think of two major examples of mature Christians who surprised me by divorcing their wives. Otherwise, it is virtually unheard of for mature, practicing, and genuine Christians to initiate a divorce. It is the newbies and the cultural Christians and the ones that never come to church that get divorced. Your article had a secular focus on the family but missed the real reason it is under strain right now. It is not increased temptation or lax laws it is to do with a crisis of faith. If you are accountable to God for your marriage then that is very different from being just accountable to yourself and your own well-being. If you have promised to look after your kids at baptism then you are not going to desert them when the going gets tough with your spouse. The desire to work issues through and find new reasons to love someone when old ones fade depends on that faith and on having the spiritual resources to work things through. Selfish individualism is the real reason for marriage breakup and a more communal and theological approach is the cure for that.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

members of the family are effected - members of the family are affected

the declining nature in quality of the family system - the declining nature in the quality of the family system

emotional and behavior issues - emotional and behavioral issues

and reduced sense of family values for the parent - and a reduced sense of family values for the parent

Actually the above was just the first paragraph. You might want to try loading a grammar checking tool like Grammarly.


Thanks for sharing.

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657
Review of Dragon Daughter  
for entry "Angel of Prisons" 
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, Tileira . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I saw your entry for the Christian Writing Contest which I also entered "Dragon Daughter" "Angel of Prisons" . I have the following comments to offer about {entry:}.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Elizabeth Fry had a heart for prisoners. She would visit the London prison that had appalling conditions and she campaigned for improvements. She founded the Association for the Reformation of the Female Prisoners in Newgate. She looked for changes in the purpose of prison from punishment to rehabilitation providing education and training to inmates and to treat prisoners more humanely. The Gaols Act of 1823 drove improvements in conditions, segregated the sexes and allowed doctors and chaplains to visit prisoners, and suggested attempts at reforming prisoners also. This lady also worked tirelessly for the homeless and opened schools for nurses.


*Quill*Commentary

A good pick and an inspiring woman. I remember her face from the 5 pounds note a few years back. They replaced her with Churchill. I understand she was a Quaker from a wealthy background and that it was her faith that drove her to regard all human beings regardless of their circumstances to have dignity before God. A dignity that in the cases of prisoners was not being respected in British prisons. This piece seemed to describe the main facts of her life more than her motivations.

The slave trade was abolished in 1807 in the British Empire so before Fry's time but slavery itself persisted until 1833. So given when she was active she must have campaigned for the abolition of slavery, not the trade. Wikipedia seems to be wrong on this.

She had 11 kids!!



*Quill*Mechanical issues

It is Elizabeth who is to tank for the 1823 Gaols Act - It is Elizabeth who is to thank for the 1823 Gaols Act


Thanks for sharing.

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658
Review of Watt's Gnus  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, KĆ„re Enga in Montana . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Watt's Gnus"  via my newsfeed. I have the following comments to offer about "American born and bred Jihadists" .

*Quill*Reader Experience

The January 6th, 2021 occupation of the Capitol by Trump supporters intent on confounding the election result can be called an insurrection. As such it is far more dangerous to American democracy than 911 was. Nationalistic white Christians feeling under attack as a result of the browning of America, the rise of China and Islam were hitting back. Trump had played to these fears, anger resentments, and insecurities like a demagogue and used these connections to obscure bad decisions and management during the pandemic and indeed his defeat in the election. The result was an act of domestic terrorism of Americans against Americans.


*Quill*Commentary

I do like to read your blog though I sometimes wonder why. We really do come from different worlds and I wonder if we would end up in a fistfight if we actually met. But even though a Christian myself I have to agree with a lot of what you wrote here. A certain part of the church appears to have been hijacked by Trump and his demagoguery has exposed an ugliness that may take decades to resolve. Accustomed to global dominance and hopeful even of a theocratic takeover of American society a great many Christians have lost their way and lost sight of Christ. In their desire to protect the lives of the unborn they elect a man whose Supreme Court Appointees are mainly interested in the Second Amendment and guns. In their desire to stay in power they will accept the words of a liar and his lies about Covid and the election which he lost fair and square. To defend their privileges against the needy they will try and overturn the tried and tested processes of democracy itself.

As sackings of the Capitol go I still think the British were far more effective burning the White House and the Capitol. These guys in January mainly looked like tourists that stepped over the rope in a museum but who nonetheless did not vandalize the pictures and were respectful of the history of the place. But there were extremists in that mix and maybe as many as 5 people died as a direct or indirect result. This was not comparable to the damage and death of 911. But as you say it was a symptom of something deeper.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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659
659
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Marvelous Friend . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I saw "Experiencing Love From Others"  on the list of Christian Writing Contest entries for June. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A best friend's parents helped pay her tuition fees through private school, were a confidant, and help through troubles. Indeed the Owens family became her new family and home and when Mrs. Owens passed she continued to live there with her best friend.


*Quill*Commentary

This is a great story of friendship and of love. Effectively you were adopted by the Owens family they helped finance your education and indeed you now live with your best friend. The difficulties with your own family and abusive relationships were troubles that they helped you through.

Maybe they did this because they were Christians and because when they prayed they felt it was the right thing to do but that is not said here. There are countless examples of this kind of thing in people with no religion so how do this story witness to Christ's love and example?

I am wondering if I am missing the point with a lot of these American Christian testimonies. My stereotype of Americans is that they do a good job talking faith but the link with actions is not always that clear. My stereotype of Europeans by contrast is that doing the right thing is embedded in the culture here in concern for the ignorant, the sick, the weak, and the old. But Europeans will hardly ever talk about God, to the point where they do not even really have a theological vocabulary anymore. It might be a stereotype but sometimes these are at least a starting point for understanding. So I guess an American Christian who was trying to talk about a genuine experience of love would try and avoid all the stock phrases that Christians repeat to each other and concentrate on genuine examples of love action. A European by contrast is looking for a distinctive Christian rationale for acts of love and kindness because he has already accepted that people should be cared for and indeed expects that to be institutionalized in the culture. You could argue that he thinks that because Jesus has already won the social justice argument in Europe but that needs explaining.

This story could just be Mr. and Mrs. Nice look after Miss Troubled and then things work out. The end. Why is that necessarily a Christian testimony?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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660
660
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, LegendaryMaskā¤ļø . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* You entered ""He Shall Be Missed""  in the Christian Writing Contest. I have the following comments to offer about your entry.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A solid bible teacher, Louis Sudduth, who encouraged his students to dig deeper and who modeled Christ in his acts of service to others also is remembered here.

*Quill*Commentary

Inspiring testimony - thanks. The man sounds like a giver of bible truth and acts of service. This testimony is also about how your church supported you through hard times. I remember two or three people who remind me of this man, these are the salt of the earth, the ones that hold it all together.

Your testimony about him reminded me of this verse in James.

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, ā€œDepart in peace, be warmed and filled,ā€ but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James 2:14-26


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed


Thanks for sharing.

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661
661
Review of Thunder Storm  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, R.W . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Thunder Storm"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

You came up a second time at random today for this piece. You describe your experience of a thunderstorm, wind howling, rain pouring, lightning striking, thunder bellowing. Then sleep.

*Quill*Commentary

We had a storm here last night and so I opened up the shutters to watch. There was a combination of forked lightning and sheet lightning lighting up the sky. Otherwise, the cloud and lack of light generally obscured what was going on. The rain was noisy and torrential and the wind also. The anthropological conviction that this was all just a show put on for my benefit made me think of the sky like a giant TV. What is on the Sky tonight? A thunderstorm sounds cool I will watch that. This experience seems somehow unintegrated. It is just a moment felt then gone. It seems to say nothing here.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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662
662
Review of BLANK  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Sorji . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "BLANK"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Her happy place was writing. Then one day she sat down and there were too many things to say. They all canceled each other out and her page went blank.


*Quill*Commentary

It is an interesting insight that without boundaries infinite possibility becomes unmanageable and useless to the point of silence. Character, honesty, and discipline define boundaries to what we can know and say and allow us to write genuine and creative thoughts in our happy place. Without these, we just go blank and break our happy place.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed


Thanks for sharing.

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663
663
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello, Schnujo Enjoyed Colombia . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "I'm a Benevolent Ruler"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Schnujo is apparently the ruler of the world with a long, detailed, and benevolent action plan to transform all our lives. This extends to the colors of our clothes, pets, dating, clean rooms, healthy food (no sugar!), the balance between honesty and affirming lies, limits on TV time, green policies, central heating and airconditioning, books, computers, dealing with the nasty, water management, life - technology balance, compulsory smiling, ending crime, mutual understanding, housing, and all churches must have steeples.


*Quill*Commentary

This was an amusing read though I am not sure what life under Schnujo would be like. There is a lot of micromanagement going on here and you might provoke a global American revolution in the name of freedom were you to be the bossy boss of all bosses like this. Also, you were a little unclear on where your godlike powers came from and how you planned to deal with the nasty people.

This account was a slightly more enlightened manifesto than Kim Jung un in North Korea. At least you planned on feeding your people and allowing them to move around. But the laughing and joy because you say so sounded similar to the situation in that last communist bastion.

I was trying to work out your political agenda from your wish list and it seems green, a little Taliban on the Judge Dredd execution style of criminals, there was no mention of how you planned to run the economy which made me wonder how you would pay for all your plans, the work-life balance, egalitarianism, and healthy living themes were left of the center focuses. You discussed no military options here, mean people just seemed to automatically desist at your command ( so a little autocratic). There was no discussion on the basis of your right to rule beyond the statement my agenda must happen (so some kind of conception of Divine Right perhaps). You seemed to believe that the state had extensive rights to mold the culture and insist on certain personal behavior patterns e.g clean bedrooms. This would require cameras on every street corner, indeed mobile surveillance drones and sounded all very 1984 (Big Sister).

I would predict your global takeover manifesto would bankrupt the world in a few months, would lead to multiple armed insurrections, and would not be a sustainable plan. This despite the fact that there was a lot of good stuff in there.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Yes, comma issues and some awkward phrases: We shall all eat healthy = We shall all eat healthily.

But was more focused on the content.


Thanks for sharing.

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664
664
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, R.W . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Imagination and the Sky"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author stares into the sky, lying in the dewy grass. He sees clouds form into the shapes of cats and birds. By sunset, he is still there and the moon rises and he is still looking,


*Quill*Commentary

The author has a lot of free time to watch the sky. When people see shapes in the clouds I look up and much like my appraisal of much that passes for modern art see squiggles and blobs that might just possibly be squeezed into the shape of a bird or a cat but really that is a friggin' ugly bird or cat. Someone, one time, had this original authentic look at the sky and he saw shapes there and wrote that down. It was probably thousands of years now. Patterns in the stars are perhaps more meaningful and dynamic. Your poem made me think that sometimes art is about playing out what we are expected to read in something rather than an authentic experience of the thing in itself. Someone once said there were patterns so I say there are patterns and I see patterns also. But really no one lies on wet grass and then does not get up until after dark just to watch these patterns. Can we set our imaginations free to roam the heavens, to describe things with our own eyes, and paint our own pictures on that blue? Can art escape cliche and reach deeper than the conventional?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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665
665
Review of On the Same Team  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Beholden . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "On the Same Team"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This answers the question as to which sports team the author likes. He did not think that he was a diehard fan like many are when it came to sports teams. But he liked the Green Bay Packers whom he first viewed on the UK's Channel 4 because of their underdog comeback capabilities. On moving to the USA he heard someone describe himself as a fan of whoever was playing the Dallas Cowboys who are apparently the team that people love to hate in the USA much like Manchester United in the UK. He sets the arrogance of the Big Money victors against the underdogs in his assessment.


*Quill*Commentary

As a Manchester United Fan, I was tempted to give you a single star for this but then decided to try and be honest. Firstly since you used to live in the UK you must understand American Football to be a bastardization of Rugby which Americans are useless at. Secondly, Manchester United Fans are not all glory boys. They were the first team I saw live in their stadium and I have been hooked ever since. They went down into the Second Division in the seventies and the glory years under Ferguson were lost after he left for a time. Ole Gunnar SolskjƦr is a bit of an underdog when it comes to managers having triumphed over a collection of big names to become the manager. The team itself has a tragic history in things like the Munich air disaster and yet it came back from that to win the European Cup.

Right now the English Premier League is the most competitive football league on the planet and yes that had attracted big money. But you seem to have stepped over to the dark side with your allegiance to the NFL as that is the richest league on the planet. This is strange to me. The NFL, MLB, and NBA are the three richest leagues on the planet and hardly anyone outside the USA knows about them but players flock from all over the world to the English Premier League which has a proper global audience.

By your logic, we should all be anti-American just because they are the biggest show on the planet and supporting underdogs like China or Russia against them.

For a long time, my team was the best winning all the trophies. They are going through a rough patch right now by their high historical standards and the competition from Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal, Tottenham, Liverpool is very intense. But I still support them. Like you however this has never been an obsession. I used to go every 3 weeks or so to the stadium but the tribalism and the fighting put me off. This was not worth getting killed over. Maybe it has changed with all-seated stadiums.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Bacon's Rebellion  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Davy Kraken . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Bacon's Rebellion"  via a search for "history". I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The poem considers Nathaniel Bacons' armed rebellion against Governor Berkeley to have been an anticipation of the later US revolution. Features included hostility towards Indians, black and white men fighting together, and an armed struggle against the authorities that included burning Jamestown.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Governor Berkeley had effectively solved the Indian problem with the Third Anglo-Powhatan War in the 1640s. He gave Bacon land and he used his new empowerment and freedom to spitefully rebel against the crown on a pretext that lacked any real validity of an Indian threat. In the American Revolution, the British forces included 20000 slaves who joined the British while only 5000 served the Continental army. So the revolutionaries looked more racist and exclusive in practice. Bacon was a worse threat to the Jamestown colony than the Indians burning it to the ground. The Indians never did that. As a result, the capital moved to Williamsburg.

Bacon was an ungrateful lout although Berkeley was a little extreme in putting down the rebellion and was replaced by the King as a result.

So not a positive example of any sort really. But I am looking at this from a British perspective. Still an interesting read.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of WOW!  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, THANKFUL SONALI Now What? . This is a preventative review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* You tagged me in "WOW!"  while I was looking for things to review and the tag looked sooooo dangerous I felt the need to address it immediately. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Your understanding of studying for exams includes reading comics, tasting chocolate pastries, and sometimes glancing at the subjects you were supposed to be studying. Your joy at discovering a handbag factory in the vicinity of your cousin's house led to raptures that were truly frightening to behold and resulted in plans for various WDC colleagues, myself included which threatened to overturn our entire existence.

*Quill*Commentary

So should I take you as an expert on lifestyle choices when there are chocolate stains on your textbooks and you reference batgirl and wonder woman in your study materials? By the way, neither of these women ever appeared with a handbag in a movie or a comic to my knowledge (just saying).

Now we come to the most terrifying thing ever pronounced on WDC, the threat to buy my wife even more handbags on our wedding anniversary as if the 21 years of our marriage could be transformed into something even better by yet another cupboard stuffed full of useless items.

*Wink* --->
Back when the girls used to chase me it was different but I no longer steal handbags. Nothing purse-onal but most handbags are ugly. If I had a penny for every time my wife and I argued about money she'd spend it on a handbag. By the way, did you know that in Florida they use alligators to make handbags, amazing what they can make animals do isn't it? The last one then I will finish, think I just found the cure for gonorrhea it was at the bottom of my wife's handbag. Tee Hee.
<----*Wink*

Actually writing this "attack review" has cheered me up no end. So thank you for your piece.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I am sure it is a violation of the English language to talk about handbags at all.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, revdbob . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Should Prayer be Allowed in Schools?"  via a search for 'Politics.' I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

There is no way to stop people from praying just as there is no way to control a person's thoughts. It is a natural part of a believer's life. Since God is in school it is impossible not to have a conversation with Him there if you choose to. Since prayer is not even just about words but rather actions it is inconceivable it could be prevented. The question of whether there could be public prayer in a school is more pertinent and whether this is an imposition on others, a little inauthentic, and indeed boring or even blasphemous in some cases. Do we really want people without a clue of true religion teaching our kids how to pray? Anyway, schools are incompetent teachers of prayer and mainly poor witnesses.

*Quill*Commentary

I agreed wholeheartedly that you could not stop prayer even if you wanted to. But public prayer can be both enforced and prohibited. I went to a Christian school and prayed with faith during those public prayers. Many of my classmates became lifelong atheists in that context claiming that Christians were inauthentic or hypocrites. But the real issue here appears to be an individualistic culture and indeed selfish attitudes to prayer. God is not just the God of my soul but all nations and there was a value in Solomons's prayer before all Israel and the countless other examples of communal state-led prayers. But then I accept the Queen as the Defender of the Faith in my Anglican Communion and consider the church-state separation in the US to be artificial. I believe there is a blessing to be had as an individual from prayer but so also in communal prayers. A community that is unhinged from prayer and from God recognition is on a high way to hell basically and individualistic attitudes towards prayer do not fill the gap. But as you also say some teachers and even Christians are incompetent examples and probably do harm to children that did not have Christian parents to prepare them for such things. So there has to be some flexibility and in some cases, communal prayers will indeed be no good. But there is no hard and fast rule about this because sometimes communal prayer is a helpful discipline that teaches us the true meaning of community and indeed communion. I just do not think isolationism and the abandonment of Christian control of the state, workplace, or indeed clubs and the godless secularism that replaces it is a step forwards at all.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

religous - religious

its studentsā€™ religious lives; - it's studentsā€™ religious lives,

whether one is teacher - whether one is a teacher


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Snow  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, aamangos. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Snow"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Love is like snow, all beautiful and pure at first and a pleasure to see. But the cold starts to bite, it stings in snowballs and you can fall over on it. It melts away when the seasons change.

*Quill*Commentary

So you are not talking about the family bonds that survive through thick and thin, nor the self-sacrificial agape style love that lasts forever. You are talking about eros or erotic love.

Having been married for many seasons now I can definitely say that love is not always easy, nor does it always look as pure and beautiful as a fresh fall of snow. In fact, sometimes I wonder if my wife was born on another planet and she would definitely think the same about me. Our love has changed and we have had to find new reasons to keep on loving on many occasions. Yet it persists nonetheless and maybe that is chemistry or commitment or Divine favor but somehow the miracle keeps happening all around the world and relationships actually last beyond the Winter, Spring, Summer, and Autumn.

I wonder with younger generations especially if they are just not trained for real love, for real marital choices, and commitment. Half their parents are divorcees and set a rubbish example. They appear to have unrealistic expectations about what love is and are getting all the wrong advice from their smartphones. It is easy to quit when your own selfish wellbeing is the highest priority but not when promises are to be kept and love is a promise not only to her but to God also and to the children you raised together and indeed to your children's children should they come along.

So no love is nothing like snow, not really. It is more like water. Ice and snow in one season, sparse or steamy in another, and pouring out of the skies in another, but always there in one form or another.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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670
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello, PennyInPocket . This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I noticed "Not Your Average Cup of Coffee"  when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

SideHill Wampus Civet coffee costs $100 a pot. But the author is determined to try it. With the pot comes the story of its origins and something more...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This was very well written and I was engaged from start to finish, ears straining to hear the secret of the SideHill Wampus Civet coffee. Your explanation of unidirectional clockwise and anticlockwise Civets with legs shorter on one side than the other had mean searching on google to check you were telling the truth. Then came the crunch line and even knowing that and despite the rumblings inside the author still went for a refill. I guess it must have tasted really good or she was just a fabulous salesperson. Either way, we may never know as this particular brand of coffee seems to be unavailable for us less privileged mortals.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

coffeepot - coffee pot


Thanks for sharing.

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671
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, StrangelyColouredDog . This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I noticed "Could a Moon Have a Moon?"  when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Can a moon have a moon? After all, stars have planets and black holes galaxies swirling around them? What would we call the moon of a moon and how would we refer to its planet or its star?


*Quill*Commentary

I like these kinds of poems inviting us to think about stars and planets and moons and yours was well written and provocative. I guess the basic science here has to do with the relationship between mass and gravity. So essentially a larger mass can hold a smaller mass in its orbit with its greater gravity. But in the case of a sub-moon, the greater mass of the planet is likely to draw the lesser sub-moon out of its orbit with a mere moon into a more dangerous elliptical pattern. This will then cause a collision with the moon or the planet or make it a second moon of the planet instead. But it is interesting that this phenomenon has not really been observed. That could be because no planets were designed this way or because it is such an unstable arrangement and gets quickly resolved. I guess a big planet with a moon in a wide orbit could potentially have a moon with a sub-moon. But as I said there are not any examples I have heard of. Even with a wide orbit, the sub-moons orbit would be distorted by the planet into an ellipse that would eventually cause collisions or lost satellites.

Not sure your question about how we call all these relationships is valid though as there is already an extensive vocab to cover this.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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672
Review of Star Birth  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness . This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I noticed "Star Birth"  when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Another fascinating poem relating to star formation. The poet parrots the mainstream scientific views most accepted current hypothesis that nebular dust clouds congealed into a star by gravity, then pressure. Then the fusion motor starts and immense energy and behold there was light.

*Quill*Commentary

Maybe this is true maybe not. Personally, I am skeptical that we can say much definite at all. We observe large stars surrounded by dust which in stellar evolutionary terms should have long since been sucked in by the star or evaporated by it. Or we see stars where there is no dust at all. The relationship between the dust and the star is not clearly established. They could just have been created as we see them now a few thousand years ago with their light in transit and it is speculative guesswork to go with the nebular hypothesis. For all we know the stars might just be a light show set up by a higher power for our amusement. Until we go there we do not really know.

It is quite hard to make a poem out of such big words even though it has an impressive quality in part because of the magnitude of what is being discussed.

The idea that just because everybody says it's science is I think what I object to most and especially since there is no way to prove these conclusions using the scientific method.

We look at the stars and we guess, just as men have always done in fact. Maybe we sound cleverer now than Ptolemy and others from thousands of years ago, but are we?


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of The Big Bang  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Adherennium Dr of Phoolishness . This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I noticed "The Big Bang"  when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The Big Bang theory in a poetic form describing the first singularity. Following that comes: humungous expansion, bifurcations in the blast wave, coolings, congealing, emergence of early elements, the cosmic radiation that still persists in the background, the aggregation of matter by gravity.

*Quill*Commentary

Conceived by a Belgian Catholic Priest Georges LemaƮtre in 1927 the Big Bang Theory is universally accepted by mainstream science and a great many Christians and Muslims also. It was though perhaps more accurate to describe it in a poetical form than in a scientific textbook as this remains an unproven theory. However consistently it brings the facts together and even makes predictions it remains a model of understanding, not a proven fact.

To describe as you have done the theory in terms of what it might look like is to assume that the science describes this accurately when in fact we simply do not know and can prove nothing about our origins with the scientific method. We know that redshift indicates a continued expansion from our vantage point, that there is background radiation consistent with such a Big Bang event but we do not for sure this is what happened or indeed if we have in fact misread the appearance of things. In the hands of a supernatural power this could have happened in a vastly reduced time span and been created in much the condition we view creation now. Hindus have a Pantheistic view believing that the explosion, expansion, and then contraction of the universe form a circular pattern. None of these three theories can be falsified or indeed proven by science.

I was trying to work out the POV in this poem. Who is standing where to make these descriptions. You seem to reach out from the Singularity and then follow the blast wave. But of course, you were not there as an eyewitness and are just articulating the theories into language. As such your poetry serves an external agenda and is not an authentic experience of the things you articulate.

You describe the emergence of early elements low on the periodic table and then the formation of heavier particles later. Again from a supernatural perspective gold might just have been created as it is rather than coming at the end of billions of years of development.

I liked this line:

Like so many raindrops splashing into the puddle of creation


*Quill*Mechanical issues

sub atomic - subatomic

counter acting - counteracting


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Ya Know?  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, E.O. McLendon . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Ya Know?"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

At an anger management course, a man describes issues in his marriage. Particularly one incident when his wife just wanted to go right at it in the kitchen, which angered him because he needed something else much more...

*Quill*Commentary

Well if I had been holding a coffee I think I would have spilt it on the punch line - hilarious! Then I thought about the explosive temper and wife-beating and thought perhaps I should not have laughed after all. But coffee...

I checked your portfolio and you look like a woman to me so I did not feel so guilty. But I was a little disgusted with myself being so easily manipulated by a great piece of writing. I have never hit a woman for the record books and do not have an explosive temper but I do love coffee.

Thanks for this.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major.


Thanks for sharing.

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Review of Time  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Mark Diaz . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! *Smile* I received "Time"  via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A guy has a car crash. He enters a white space which is some kind of afterlife or waiting area ( It was not clear). He hears a robotic voice that basically quizzes him as to what he will do with his life should it be restored to him. There is also an emergency exit that leads to annihilation. He is tempted to open the emergency exit door.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

The theology here is very controversial as there is no God, the robotic voice sounds machine-like. The vision of the afterlife is boring. Annihilationism is asserted as a choice. Life is defined as work while death was simply an end.

However, the temptation of the emergency exit set against the possibility of life reminded of a single tree that Adam and Eve were forbidden to eat from. Why was it so intriguing when it promised only death? That seems to be human nature to be fascinated by forbidden fruit. The temptation was real enough.

I found the philosophy passionless and secular and as such unable to answer the main questions posed by the scenario except on a rather trivial level. What would you do if offered another chance at life, what does it mean to refuse this offer?

In practice, I have known people who have had this experience of being clinically dead yet coming back with accounts of what they have seen. One was an atheist who came back a Christian for instance. But there was nothing like that here, there was nothing appealing about the vision you painted, and nor did it square with anything that we know about this reality.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Was the robot made in China? - What you say? What you say? - What did you say? or What say you?

three meters way - three meters away


Thanks for sharing.

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