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2,324 Public Reviews Given
2,324 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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576
Review of JUNO  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, starchild . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "JUNO via the entry list for the WDC contest. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A much beloved dog Juno was the author's pet. He had a toy monkey called Mowgli. After Juno died and was buried strange things occurred which seemed to suggest that Juno was still looking out for his family...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Ghost dogs and gas leaks are described here in an almost plausible way and it seems that whatever occurred that night saved your lives.

This piece was a little short but quite charming.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Even though your piece was short it might have been better to break it up into paragraphs to aid readability.

Missing commas in various places and the below issues also:

floppy ears and the black snuby nose - floppy ears, and the black snubby nose

all pet owners fear of having to face - all pet owners fear of having to face

I could not explain my parents that feeling - I could not explain to my parents that feeling

and trying to point out to something - and trying to point out to something


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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577
577
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello, xxx. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I saw {item:} on the list of Sci-Fi Contest entries for last month. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Shkiana hates storms and after the death of her parents at the hands of one goes through 6 foster homes and then later seems to chew up Mindbusters (Psychologists) at the same rate. Then she gets trapped on a superstorm planet Konnus that seems to wreck every spaceship that goes there leaving the people stranded. The latest batch of researchers have been shipwrecked to join the others that live just 5 miles away just as the largest ever superstorm is brewing on Konnus.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

The marriage of Shkianas fears and experiences of storms with her eventual fate of being stranded on planet Konnus was interesting. Also, the true identity of the visitors seems intriguing and the real reason for their visit to the planet and with the planet's reaction could make for an expandable and interesting plot.

That said the plot was a little confusing in places and repetitious and you need to work on the way it all hangs together and to translate the images in your head into something your readers will be able to grasp. I am not sure you did that here.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

But your family is dead - are dead

“I’m not surprised. You are the sixth New Parents to take me in.”

Mnathan leans forward in his chair. “Six New Parents in eight years. Are your nightmares the reason why you have had so many parents?”


The logical end for the section is with "take me in." But then you introduce this completely new character Mnathan with no preamble or explanation of how he fits in the context. Then he appears in the next section five years later. So I guess the section header is in the wrong place.

There is a lot of repetition

The ending seems to suggest that Shkiana was not told how the other "researchers" got here or what they were but she clearly was told these things earlier in the story. She concludes from her misunderstanding that the real meaning that these people came to the planet remains mysterious.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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578
578
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, WriterAngel . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I saw "Atmospheric Disturbance on the list of Sci-Fi Contest entries for last month. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Teryl with his reluctant and complaining wife Jenneth in tow has moved to Tremulous 3. Solar activity appears to have aggravated local weather conditions and Teryle is afraid. Reassured by his new boss Bronson however, he wonders if these fears are justified, after all, it is just sand. His wife decides to leave him just as the full measure of the approaching storm reveals itself. The Bunkers are not properly stocked right now. Can Teryl stop his wife before she flies out into the Gathering Storm...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

A good background drama of a tense marriage driven to breaking point by the selfish career-minded decisions of Teyrl. An emotional wife inadvertently breaks the best defense of the station against the ferocity of the storm by opening the doors. It looks like everyone is going to die. Given the stocks in the Bunker and Bronson's lack of preparation for the population, it seems the whole colony is in fact at risk. I wondered at how much extra story there was to tell here beyond survival.

That said his wife might not be dead I suppose and he may yet survive to fight back against the storm and save the colony or not.

Strong entry thanks for sharing.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing major was noticed.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
579
579
Review of A Time Too Far  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, BrokenPen . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I saw "A Time Too Far on the list of Sci-Fi Contest entries for last month. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Lash was a colonist from Ascalia which like Earth sends out people in hibernation in colony ships to colonize distant worlds. Lash is in Shalnazar on the planet Greenhaven on his way to see the Ashkalian Ambassador Zanash Zhu Zakar. He was previously her bodyguard for eight years. A little bored at his current assignment he wonders what could be so important. Then he meets the ambassador and all becomes clear...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

You built a plausible civilization here set in the distant future with an alien race and humans appearing in a cooperative effort to colonize the galaxy. The distances between the planets mean that colonists hibernate but the rewards of land or homes make the journey worthwhile. It reminded me of what the early British colonies in the USA must have been like. The distance and the sacrifice were so great that really most people only did this once. The abundance of fertile and underpopulated planets seemed to make food free but things would change later with a more stable society.

And then you spring this mysterious new threat on which seems to defy the laws of physics. Something has to be done and Lash with his military training is ideal for the job. This beginning definitely makes me want to read on and the mystery of the lost colony of Ariadne and the military installation and now the colony of Calnax also make the stakes extraordinarily high.

Exciting stuff. I really enjoyed reading this and it seemed to fit the criteria of a gathering storm that makes me want to read more.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

So you wrote in British English. You appear to be missing a whole bunch of commas.

Won't the attackers have gone by the time we get there. - Won't the attackers have gone by the time we get there?


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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580
580
Review of Night Owl  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, AliceLvs2Write . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Night Owl via the entry list for the WDC contest. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

So the owl Grey here is watching the man Wes Putman who is a struggling writer in a lonely cabin. Wes's thought life was dominated by the death of his son Charlie. Wes soldiers on. The Park Ranger Duncan Calderon befriends him and visits. Grey remembers having his wing fixed up by him. He feasts on a rodent, but then he notices that Wes has had an accident. Can the owl bring help in time, can he help to save him from the deeper emotional pit that Wes has fallen into also


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

An interesting anthropomorphization of an owl's inner thought life. I found the first line ambiguous as I was not sure if you were talking about an existential crisis the owl was going through or Wes Putman.

The owl's a hunter who's been slightly disturbed by the return of the man but seems to like people as the Park Ranger fixed his wing so he helps out and saves Wes's life physically and emotionally when he falls into his pit. Now Wes has something to write about something that his lost son would have connected to and a perfect character for a children's book for his editor Veld. I liked the way that the owl ended up being the answer for the physical dilemma by bringing help and the emotional one by providing inspiration. Not to mention the fact he kept the vermin under control around the log cabin.

My main reservation with this and the other entries is the degree of plausibility of attributing so much of an active thought life to a bird. In practice, we know how big their brains are and how they pretty much follow their programming.

But enjoyed your story and you deserved your prize. There were a few mechanical issues with the story also.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

But he had reason for his tardiness. - But he had a reason for his tardiness.
the park Ranger - The Park Ranger
Boy I'd give anything - Boy, I'd give anything


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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581
581
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Dave . This is a November Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "The Art of Reviewing Poetry via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Dave reviews the art of reviewing poetry. He stresses the importance of a good title and how compelling the imagery of the poem is whether literal or figurative. He looks at rhyming and repetition of lines structures and patterns. Do the rhyme or repetition and the choice of words add to the composition and what the poet is trying to say. Is there a lyrical or tonal quality to the words? How should punctuation be used, lines constructed and stanzas organized? Is the form appropriate and accurately followed? Even free verse is portrayed as carefully constructed with a view to maximizing its impact and to avoid the accusation of being nothing better than chopped-up prose pretending to be poetry. There is the question of theme and why the poet chose it and then finally there is the overall impression and the emotional response that it evokes.

*Quill*Commentary

Wow, you have really thought this through. I am far from a trained poet myself but I enjoy writing what I always thought was poetry to express feelings and connect important things that are happening or which I am thinking about to those feelings. The expression has to work and you get a feel for what worked and what did not. Also, other people come along and say Nah or Wow to give you an idea. But I think you are on a whole other level when it comes to analyzing poems. An amateur like myself can get a little overwhelmed by all these styles and forms and indeed by experts like yourself and they can feel like straitjackets rather than the aids to learning and expression that you portray them to be here. Make it too complicated and it can be a discouragement to write anything down at all.

But this was all well researched and clearly informed by a lifetime of thoughtful experience and appreciation of poetry. You put it together very well and clearly expressed what you wanted to say.

That said I am not sure it will change the way I actually engage with poetry. Poetry is like a happy place where I go to try and work through thoughts and feelings in chaos, or a deluge of events. I try to find a way of coping with them in the words and usually come to some kind of resolution and expression that either works or does not.

Also, I think the meaning of a poem is often the most important thing. It is not just a theme it is the difference between something of eternal value and worth and something destined to an early grave.

Thanks for giving me so much food for thought, maybe I should read this again in ten years' time. Maybe by then, I will have grown to accept and recognize the wisdom expressed here.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

the poet uses words which paint pictures - that paint pictures

for development of voice, tone, pace - for the development of voice, tone, pace


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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582
582
Review of The Answer  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Sum1 In Halifax . This is a November Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "The Answer via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The story is focused on a telephone friendship that developed between Nick and Sara following the events of 911. Sara started the conversation thinking she was phoning Rick. Nick helps her develop her career but after 15 years maybe it is time to meet...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

I liked the theme that something good came out of the ruins of 911. The big idea here also of uploaded consciousness was also intriguing and could be developed in so many directions should you ever wish to write a larger work on this theme.

I guess today online romances are more common than ever and there was an authenticity about the dialog and the feelings there. I liked both the star characters who were attractive in different ways.

POV shifts from Nick to Sara in mid-conversation which is a little jarring. Maybe you needed sections to make these shifts.

Personally, I think that our humanity has an intimate connection with the hardware of our bodies and that simply uploading the software of who we are to the cloud would not work in practice. There would be a disconnect with the person that we were. Our disembodied consciousness would be homeless without bodies and would go mad without the boundaries they give to our identities. But if a person could perfectly duplicate the hardware of a human body then a real resurrection would be possible. I do not believe that mankind is even close to the level of biochemical engineering and understanding required here. It remains the purview of the Divine.

Given the size of this piece the mechanical errors only cost you half a star with the other half star lost for reservations about the plausibility of the concept.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

I am not brilliant on commas but my grammar tool went crazy about yours. It might be worth reviewing their usage.

he needed to spend of lot of time - he needed to spend a lot of time

in to - into

‘invisible man’, - ‘invisible man,’

I-Pod - iPod

I-Pad - iPad


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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583
583
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Mary Ann MCPhedran . This is a November Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Come With Me Beneath The Sea. via the Super Reviewer Group List. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Come with the author to explore a world of color and beauty beneath the waters of the sea. Here lie gardens of plants and greenery where exotic fish swim.

*Quill*Commentary

I liked the idea of going under the sea to see a world of beauty and color that God has created.

In the age of strip mining, the seabed by various types of trawler net that has wrecked coral and turned sea gardens into deserts the no fishing hook line did not work for me.

This line bugged me:

Lies Gods' favourite scenery.

God has created so much beauty in this universe, so much that we have not even begun to witness and experience on other worlds, so much on the land surface of our own planet, in the words of scriptures, in the worship songs of the saints I could not prioritize his appreciation as you have done here.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are little things like the use of 4 dots rather than three in to be in....

Also, the use of full stops designates sentences that often lack subjects which spoilt the flow for me. Maybe just getting rid of them entirely would work better.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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584
584
Review of I dream Montana  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Kåre Enga in Montana . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "I dream Montana via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A poem about Montana.

*Quill*Commentary

Clouds glower at mountain ridges; stop,
then lift their veils of rain and pass.


Awesome descriptive power *Smile*

Sounds like a happy place where the streams of human plight cannot drown you in their sorrows.

I have little critical to say here as it was extremely well done. A few extra lines would indeed have been a welcome addition and the inspiration stops at the borders of the land and sky.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Not a chance.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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585
585
Review of The Mona Lisa  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, MissArlisse . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "The Mona Lisa via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A poem about the Mona Lisa named after Lisa Gherardini wife of Francesco del Giocondo. It notices the missing eyebrows, wonders if she was pregnant at the time and whether the father of the child was her husband. Despite the attribution of adultery, she is regarded as classy and slightly mysterious.


*Quill*Commentary

Lisa del Giocondo, an Italian noblewoman, had five children and was about 24 when this picture was started. She was 38 when Da Vinci stopped working on it. The accusation of unfaithfulness is unwarranted and amounts to nothing better than gossipy speculation and especially in the highly religious context of her times. Florence was near the center of the artistic world of that era and the home of Da Vinci one of the all-time greats.

I was in the Louvre 2 weeks ago and saw this painting then. The queues were enormous even despite the Pandemic. The painting is intriguing as is the uninhabited background. She appears quite lonely in the context even though a woman with children, she was married to a much older man. That Da Vinci could take an ordinary woman and lend so much mystery and intrigue to her is an example of his genius. Though the picture was commissioned by her family he never gave it to them. Maybe because it was no longer completely her after he had worked on it for so many years but rather a product of his rich imagination.

Your poem reminded me of laughing and chattering girls, in the queue in the Louvre, who were commentating on the famous picture. They were full of the occasion and the grand surroundings. They said the sort of things that everybody says about the picture but did they actually really look at it?

2.5 stars is an average mark. You lost marks for the content and also mistakes here.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

"Where had gone your brow"? - "Where have your eyebrows gone?"

You're on fine lady - Did you mean - You're one fine lady

The colors were subdued and blended and I wondered why you used the word Extravagant.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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586
586
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, Xander Scott I found "Davinci Code Style Analysis when searching for articles on Da Vinci. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

An analysis of how Dan Brown started his best-selling "Da Vinci Code" book.

*Quill*Commentary

This was a brilliant topic to choose for a piece. Writers like JK Rowling and Dan Brown are the kind I love to hate. They write implausible and unreal drivel in my view but are mechanical masters. They sell by the millions so every writer's question has to be what is the secret of their success, aside from some kind of Faustian bargain that is.

I loved the way you broke down Robert Langdon's waking up and the way the novel matched the mood of its key character in doing so. The use of action and descriptive rather than narrative is an example of showing not telling and clearly works here very effectively.

Dan Brown introduces his character, context, and his theme very effectively accelerating into action mode only when his character has finally woken up.

Dan Brown's chapter 1 would probably win the Chapter One contest.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

it would make logic sense for the flow - logical

Felt you could have double spaced the paragraphs to make them more readable.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


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587
587
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello, sup . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Plagues: A TF Virus Guide via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A list of amusing and disturbing mythical diseases that are truly transformative of the human condition.


*Quill*Commentary

You could probably make a movie based on each of these. Indeed it does seem very Marvel Studios.

I was trying to work out which might actually occur in real life in some parallel universe of possibility.

Blue Fever sounds plausible and unpleasant.

Expanditus seems aptly named for expansion, I did not see much difference with Size Disorder G. Do many Americans and Brits already have this?!

I guess the Gender Bender Virus would cut down on the surgery requirements for psychologically identifying trans-gender types. You may get some phone requests for that one in these times.

Ageitus R Strain seems like something that a lot of 90 plus-year-olds might actually want to catch for a second chance at life, though I wonder who changes their nappies when they go full-on screaming child again.

I think I may well be a source transmitter of Bimboitis as I am sure that is precisely the effect I have on women *Wink*

Funny list, thanks.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You miss apostrophes: persons entire physiology - person's

A disease that directly effects the aging process. - affects


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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588
588
Review of Ted  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Odessa Molinari . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Ted via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A child in the cot, a breastfeeding mother and a cute, pink, fluffy teddy bear called Damian. What could possibly go wrong?...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Damian named after the Omen starring AntiChrist is pure evil but with a devotion to the baby in its cot, it is armed with razor-sharp teeth and claws. The "baby" seems to have named its teddy, possess a hateful adult vocabulary, have the consciousness of a disturbed teenager, and hate its mother. The mother is treating a baby as a baby and wants to think the best about it, translating Damian to Diddum and fussing over the child that she breastfeeds.

This was funny in a dark and twisted sort of way but utterly implausible. I guess horror is meant to play on people's fears, but fear is something that mainly evaporates on examination or with a disciplined response to it, which is why I guess most horror is just not scary to me.

But your piece is saved from those kinds of criticisms by its placement in the comedy genre.

I guess you could even argue there is a moral to the story. Evil may be "satisfying" in the moment but is self-defeating if you kill the woman that feeds you.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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589
589
Review of Bathos  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Datakon . This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I noticed "Bathos when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Life is pain and vain, rain and sunshine and then it passes.

*Quill*Commentary

Very Ecclesiastes!

The author of Ecclesiastes (probably Solomon) concluded more positively:

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
Ecc 12:13-14

You titled this Bathos ("an amusingly failed attempt at presenting artistic greatness")

But the poem itself echoed universal themes of human suffering and perception of the vanity of much living. There was nothing petty about it. It read as very authentic. Yes, there are imperfections in our art as in our lives but there is beauty and meaning in every life and those imperfections often phrase our stories. I reviewed a very good piece this morning which included an account of Da Vincis Mona Lisa on which he spent years but which still contained unfinished imperfections even at the end.

I liked this line:

It is rain
Falling on me
It is sun
Shining on me


Though in the UK and North Germany there is often this intermediate grey and speckled white clouds which is more boring.

Thanks for your poem.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Sometimes to much - Sometimes too much


Thanks for sharing.


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#2259390 by LightinMind


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590
590
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, SaKaToMe I found "Taking the Mental out of Fundamentalism when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

So-called conservative Evangelical Fundamentalists just put people's backs up when they proclaim gays are on their way to hell, abortion is murder, and that Jesus is the only way. Their intolerance is not winning converts. But the First Amendment does and should protect their right to self-righteous protest. Evangelicals should be tolerated so that they can perhaps one day learn tolerance.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Your piece reminded me of the bible verse in Romans 12:18

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Leaders in the church are in part selected for the respect in which they are held by the wider community and not just of Christians. But how can they respect us when all we do is insult them?

I agreed with the sentiment of your article but as someone who holds conservative Evangelical convictions in a European context, I also think that it was a little careless and naive.

There is an organized group of powerful people who have been pushing LGBTQ rights now and attempting to impose them on people. The recent troubles with Poland in the EU are in part related to this. I accept that Theocratic approaches to imposing Christianity on people do not work very well but I am not about to have my own freedoms trampled on by a secular agenda. I am to accept that people's rights in workplaces, before the law, or with property should be respected regardless of their strange private choices. Also, that civil contracts between people that cause no harm to others should be respected. But to write into law that marriage can be gay is to redefine marriage for example and introduce deceit into the very legal code.

The Texas abortion law and the changes in the Supreme court have meant that a challenge to Roe v Wade is now possible in the USA. The principle of viability on which the current law is founded has always been quite arbitrary anyway in the historical scheme of things. It is clear that a great many people in the USA would resent any changes. The German system is the better model I think to reconcile the two sides than exists in the thinking of either side in the current American debate. It accepts that life begins at conception but after counseling, it permits abortion in the first trimester. It also provides good sex education in schools and provision for single mums. Adoption at birth is also a viable option here. A raft of changes to welfare provision and to the phrasing of the law is long overdue in the US context as the current arrangement only generates partisan bitterness and does not work to reduce abortion numbers. The Germans have the lowest abortion numbers in the Western world.

This was well written with minimal mechanical errors and argues a persuasive case.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

embarassments - embarrassments

nearest Safeway).The solution - space needed before The

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Review of Faithless  
Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, DMB Secundus I found "Faithless when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A poem that expresses the heartfelt rejection of Christian faith and practice in favor of a "rational, scientific" outlook.

*Quill*Commentary

Part of my reason for seeking out people I disagree with is to test my reviewing system. I approach this piece knowing I am probably going to hate your content but it is important to be impartial when reviewing things like this and I thought atheists would be a good kind of test for it.

It is clear in this poem that your rejection of Christianity is not born of ignorance of Christians but has been articulated with some understanding of them and their practices.

I thought I would focus therefore on the issues that seem to have provoked most resentment and incredulity expressed in your poem:

The man in his high pulpit preaching at you - an authority you reject
the fairytales from the bible - you doubt the authenticity and credibility of the scriptures
Pale trio - the doctrine of the Trinity is polytheism disguised as monotheism
not word you say is true - seems that you only respond to a scientific argument
Christians do not respect those on different paths

There is a theme here that you a man of nature are rational and scientific while Christians are not. The pastor I grew up with had a PhD in Physics and was a fellow at a major Physics institute before he became a Vicar. I wonder how you and he would have gotten on.

I am a fan of Stephen Meyers books which I would recommend if you are interested in hearing a more rational and scientific response to the authority of atheistic materialism:
Darwins Doubt
The signature in the cell
The Return of the God hypothesis

The poem was well articulated with only a minimal number of mechanical errors. Your mark is 2.5 stars out of 3 for mechanics and 1 out of 2 for content. That is a good mark in which improvement is still possible.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Light you candles - In context, this seems better served with "your candles"

Then like Russian roulette we play so many games - Then like Russian roulette, we play so many games

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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello, nonny I found "Religous Truth: The Government when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

There is no place for religion in government. We need to respect people of different faith positions or lack of faith positions.

*Quill*Commentary

There is an appalling ignorance of other religions than Christianity here which is employed to undermine the exclusivity of a Christian America. For example:

Why not say "under Budda" instead of "under God" in the pledge of alligence. - Not only does this include spelling mistakes but it shows no understanding of Buddhism and what the Buddha would want.

I had hoped this might get into the issues of theocracy versus freedom that usually characterize pieces of this sort but you barely touched on those kinds of issues. Personally, I believe that the Christian church should aim for freedom of worship rather than domination because most theocracies in a fallen world end up quite oppressive and also with distorted and narrow-minded outlooks of the Christian faith let alone those of other people. Christians can be in charge but they should not invade people's private spaces.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are a lot of mechanical errors here with missing capitalization, spelling errors, and grammatical issues for example. I would recommend using a grammar checker. These have improved a lot since you wrote this.

You have a spelling mistake in your title which undermines your entire piece.

The errors are too numerous to list but for example:

nuetrality - neutrality
Budda - Buddha
Muslums - Muslims
alligence - allegiance


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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello, Filius von Straught I found "The Credibility of Religion when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author addresses religion and Christianity in particular suggesting that faith in it is a product of human psychology attempting to rationalize and understand the world. He suggests that science and an atheistic materialistic explanation of millions of years of human evolution give better explanations for things. The Holy books can be debunked and are not reliable. Much of Christian behavior makes no sense. In essence, he attacks the credibility of the religious outlook and lifestyle.

*Quill*Commentary

This is quite densely worded and a little rambling. To be more convincing you might have focused it on various points where you think your arguments were strongest and gone into more depth defending your assumptions. As it is this is really just a bubble of consciousness where all the assumptions you make about materialism, what science has demonstrated, and human psychology are simply thrown at your reader in one long monologue.

In response to the content of this, I will focus on just a few points you made which I believe would have to be addressed by your argument.

1) The relationship between religion and psychology is clear. But why is it that the psychological need for religion appears to be near-universal across the planet in different times and locations? Does this not indicate some kind of God-shaped hole in our design as people which requires fulfillment for our psychological well-being. Is evolution an adequate explanation for why that might be there given the phenomena of martyrdom contradicts natural selection and compassion for the weak contradicts it also? The Christian view that we are all made in the image of God, however, broken we have become, fits better here.

2) Science can prove nothing about the existence or nonexistence of God. It can only demonstrate so much also. There is a difference between the conclusions of scientific theories that you assume are true and what can be demonstrated. You use speculations from science to try and overthrow Christian convictions. But in the end, these are held to by faith in these various models not the product of things you can prove with repeatable, peer-reviewed experimentation.

3) The Bible text is reliable and is quite comprehensibly defended. Muslims and atheists have vested interests in doubting that and do their best to doubt biblical authenticity and preservation. An excellent book to read on this is "Reinventing Jesus."


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You lose a lot of points on mechanical issues. If you are going to slag off someone's religion you probably need to resolve these kinds of issues that undermine the credibility of your critique.

Grammar checkers may have improved since you wrote this. There are innumerable grammar and spelling mistakes to correct here. You miss a lot of pronouns in key places also e.g.

This leads us back to burden of proof - the burden of proof
in the past couple decades - of decades
the open window let in wind - the wind

You use which when you should use that.

There are typos like this:

he can’t me envisioned by humans - be envisioned

Extra words:

To choose between the two, it comes down to scientific evidence. - To choose between the two, it comes down to scientific evidence.

Spelling:
Qaran - Quran

This sentence makes no sense and should be rephrased:

Not only is the Church’s history not credibility of religion, it is a strong argument against it.


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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Dr M C Gupta . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "ABOUT HINDUISM: editor's choice via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author writes about Hinduism and Hindutva. He describes what it is, what are the essentials of it, who can be regarded as a Hindu, what the cardinal features are, what is special about it, lists the distinctive contributions that Hinduism gave to the world, discusses the numbers of Hindus, and then asks a series of personal questions to conclude.

*Quill*Commentary

I think any reviewer needs to be honest about their assumptions approaching a piece like this where religious convictions are involved. Before I even read this, based on our previous disagreements and my experience as a religious education teacher teaching Hinduism I know that I am going to disagree with significant junks of what you have written because my Christian faith causes me to believe that Hinduism is a false religion. Also, the Christian and indeed Muslim experience of Hindutva has been an especially bad one with a massive intensification of persecution over the last decade. So that you start this account with the definition of Hinduism as a religion of spiritual freedom seems to jar against the reality of the church's experience of it in India itself. That said I tried to read what you wrote impartially. I have organized this as a sequential response to what you wrote in the order that you wrote it.

Your definition of Hinduism is quite controversial as even within Hinduism many Hindus would not define it in terms of freedom but rather devotion, submission, and ritual for example. The association with Modis BJP nationalism is also something that a great many Hindus would reject and how is that an ideology of freedom- Christians, and Muslims in India definitely disagree.

Q2

Hinduism is not the oldest religion as the Judaeo Christian faith goes back to creation itself. Also since Eternal Reoccurrence seems to be a feature of Hinduism in most accounts I have read why would you stress its age anyway, surely it would be ageless in the Hindu view?

Is the basis of Hinduism the search for cosmic truth? The sources you quote are filled with myths and the connection with historical reality, unlike with the Abrahamic faiths, is missing entirely. These are stories rationalizing the questions posed by mysteries but are they truths by any universally accepted understanding of the word? Indeed is truth even important to a Hindu since it is so hard to define and so elusive to grasp and has no dogmas or doctrines that give a firm indication of what it meant by it.

Teachers in Hinduism seem to be on the same path as their disciples and are no more authoritative as a result but does this mean that we can ignore them then? Truth is exclusive in the sense that something is either true or false. The light is either on or off not both at the same time. There are more complex truths but basic binary statements can also be made about reality. Jesus is either the only way to God or He is not. The Hindu makes an exclusive claim when they rule out this Christian conviction.

The Hindu sources you cite are quite large and hold many conflicting positions.

The path of meditation and yoga lends itself to a very personal take on truth and knowledge when no external authorities are recognized by which those reflections could be edited or criticized.

Q3

Cow worship as a basis for defining who a Hindu is - really!? But why not elephants?

There are multiple gods in the Hindu view but they all have different truths. The acceptance of that chaos seems neither liberating nor honest but rather just results in moral relativism and confusion.

The legal definition seems to be too vague and broad and accepts a very wide range of possible answers. Except for the idea that residence in India makes a person a Hindu, but then what about Hindus abroad? The last definition says in effect it is not just a way of life, not just religious practices, not just the culture and ethos of Indians and it is not hostile to other faiths. If so then why is it hostile in practice, why is it even distinct from them. By this definition are even Christian Hindus, it seems open enough to allow for that.

Q4

So reincarnation is pretty crucial here. Obviously, a belief in the resurrection of the sort adopted by the Abrahamic religions would be excluded by this conviction.

The Pantheistic view of God would also exclude Christian convictions of a beginning and end to creation and the transcendence of God over Nature.

Non-violence is argued here but is not the experience of many Muslims and Christians in India.

The concept of Karma differs from the accountability of Judgment.

God is personal in the Christian faith, not a conscious energy force.

Q5

Hinduism is not the world's oldest faith. True religion goes back to creation and was not distinguished by temples and permanent altars or indeed writing in its earliest years. To make the claim about this is just to assert it as a matter of faith.

Hinduism is free and flexible versus Hinduism is guided by the Vedas. If the Vedas are of any use they would have to set some kind of boundaries and conceptual frameworks.

Hinduism is closed to the exclusive claims of the Christian faith: that Jesus is the only way to know God, that the sacrifice that Jesus made is all we need to be reconciled to God, that Jesus is the only time that God incarnated Himself in a human form in human history.

Tolerance is not the main feature of the Hindutva movement.

Q6

One God but a plurality of gods is not the same as the One in Three understanding of the Trinity. There is no agreement within Hinduism itself that God is not plural in his very substance or singular. The Trimurti includes a god who behaves like pure evil on several occasions i.e. Shiva. But God is not evil.

Resurrection, not reincarnation. We have evidence for that in the testimony of the church to Christ's resurrection. How could you differentiate your recollection of past lives from the whispering of demons?

Astrology is superstitious bunkum.

Q7

Probably higher than that now. Wikipedia says 1.35 billion for example. In India, the % is now lower than 10 years ago and is 79.8%.

Q8

This was really the expression of the positions already stated e.g. Karma.

The separation of one's religious convictions from any kind of work vocation interested me. Honesty, Righteousness, a Commitment to Excellence as if accountable to a Higher Power, and Stewardship are all relevant concepts that come from Christianity and work in the workplace for instance.

I have known some very capable Hindu workers who were skilled professionals but now that you mention it there was a very strict separation between their skills and the junk in their heads.

Without accountability to a higher authority, how would a sinless life be defined or affirmed, if I am only accountable to my own conscience I will probably rationalize all my actions and just give myself 5 stars for everything?

As it is using the authorities that I have as a Christian and trying to be objective in the examination of your claims I could not give this piece more than half a star out of two for its content.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

From a literary perspective, this was well ordered and communicated and you clearly presented your message. You lost about 1 star for mechanical errors - see below.

Grammar checkers may have improved since you wrote this and there are a lot of false commas, missing commas, unnecessary spaces, and for example errors like the below here:

.. - choose period or ...

It is not not Hindu fundamentalism - It is not Hindu fundamentalism

Based up on my readings - Based upon my readings

man- made - man-made

not just in a prayer only - not just in prayer only

7.A very important - 7. A very important

Hinduism that it has not closed itself - Hinduism is that it has not closed itself

open- minded - open-minded

You vary in the capitalization of god/God - need to be consistent.

is coupled with the knowledge of operation of the Law of Karma - is coupled with the knowledge of the operation of the Law of Karma

duties that have karmas attached to it - them (because duties are plural)

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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Rojodi . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "NaNoWriMo Prep Beginning via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Sheridan Lockwood is from Beverwyck NY, a medium-sized city north of Schenectady. He is a natural athlete into sports and he is a bookworm with a voracious appetite for reading. He loves life and then he meets her...


*Quill*Commentary

He sounds quite like me, sports and books being my two-lifetime passions also. Does meeting the woman of your dreams and having a family, really have to overthrow that momentum though? You make it almost sound like he meets the woman and his distinctive character is overthrown by that and his life is ended by the seismic changes that follow. If your character is not murdered by her then I would suggest this might be an imbalanced perspective. Of course, in the moment it might feel that romantic love overthrows everything and indeed it does change everything but does it completely eradicate the person who falls in love - I do not think so.

I might also have been interested in what he read about and whether or not that had shaped any kind of convictions about God, the Universe, the meaning of life, the nature of reality, and right and wrong.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing found.

Until the day he met her!


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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hello, bob county . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Evil is the absence of good. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a confused, personal tirade against Ann Coulter and the Republican party. It proposes a new god called Zuzu. It appears to imply a dark neurotic attraction and hatred for Ann Coulter. The poem is interspersed with references to Friedrich Nietzsche and also mimics various bible verses.

*Quill*Commentary

I take it you did not like Ann Coulter or the Republican party in 2013. I wonder what you think of Trump and the new Republicans now.

This is quite confused with powerful images bunched up in a jumble. It is in essence a dark rapist fantasy with a heavy misuse of theology and Nietzsche's writings.

There are references to Miss Coulters relationship to a bad god that pecks at her white skin like a swan conceiving Republicans and then dominates the mob mocking the exploitation of workers while drinking Yager beer. Apparently, this annoys Zuzu who then destroys her remakes the world with Ann Coulter as a concubine in a Frat House. All of this is endorsed and affirmed by misappropriated quotes from Nietzsche.

A brief examination of Ann Coulter's positions seems to indicate she has strong Christian and Republican convictions and loves to stir the pot. She is the kind of woman I would love to have a conversation with as I am sure she would be interesting. She made a name for herself during the anti-Bill Clinton Paula Jones case. But the kind of harassment your poem gives is on a whole different level. She is partisan and in my view a little imbalanced while being right about many of the things she has taken a stand on. I am not sure we are ever going to agree about the woman.

This piece did have errors and on a personal level, I hated its dark erotic content. But it was provocative and clever in a twisted kind of way also. I think you need to work out your relationship with Coulter though, this is clearly an unbalanced perspective on her. If you had painted this as dark comedy you might have gotten an extra half star.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

no other Gods
before me!
- unnecessary extra space

knew world. - new world


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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Mythoughts@chetan . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "Covid Life Lessons via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is an Indian man's account of the Corona Virus Pandemic. He is the sole breadwinner in his family and he describes his experience of the Pandemic, his fears about losing his job, and the things he has learned from it. He is especially grateful for his family and friends that helped sustain him through this time.

*Quill*Commentary

This account was meant to be a personal summary of lessons learned during the Pandemic. I felt you rambled a bit and this was done in a conversational style with a large number of grammatical errors.

There were some good lessons about not losing hope in adversity, stronger bonds with family, that nothing can be taken for granted, the importance of personal hygiene and physical well-being, a better diet, making new friends, and striving to be a better human being. There is also now a better appreciation of doctors and nurses.

Your main conviction about why Covid came was that it was a test sent by Mother Nature or by God. It seems you feel that we passed the test and are now coming out the other side. Hence the list of lessons learned was important for moving on.

The mechanics drag down the number of stars I can give you for this a lot but I liked the content of it. 2.5 stars is an average rating. Please see my rating system for an explanation of that.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

I would advise using a Grammar checker as there are unnecessary spaces, misuse of commas, spelling mistakes, double adverbs, and poor use of tenses throughout this text. For example:

Double adverb- mostly importantly - most importantly
loose - lose
this testing times - these testing times


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Review of My Computer  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Ivy Frozen/Rater Moon I found "My Computer when searching for articles on computers. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A humorous account of a man pleading with his computer to do what he wants it to do, periodically insulting, cursing, and begging it before concluding it is just nasty. Then the reply from the computer about his abuse, overuse, and incompetence with it.


*Quill*Commentary

The computer is the enemy here on a par with ex-wives. The user pleads and threatens it for a last-minute printout that never seems to come. The computer's reply indicates the man spends most of his time playing games on the computer and surfing and drove him to the crash that he now blames on it.

I found this quite hilarious.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

No obvious errors


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Review of The Broken Blade  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Loagden . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group! *Smile* I received "The Broken Blade while browsing at random. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a fictional account of the Umayyad invasion of Western Europe which was confounded by the Battle of Tours in October 732. The battle lasted a week, was conducted in cold heavy rain, and resulted in the defeat of the invaders. This was despite their numerical superiority and deployment of heavy cavalry against Charles Martels Frankish infantry. The Franks adopted a defensive posture during the battle and succeeded in repelling the invaders and in seizing booty from their camp.


*Quill*Commentary

This account is mainly the recounting of the experience of one of Charles Martel's infantrymen. He speaks also with Chlodric a fellow Frank and in the last moments of the battle with one of the wounded and dying invaders who hold a silver cross he probably looted from Christians he killed on the way to the battle.

This is one of the most significant victories in the history of the planet as without it Western Europe and indeed the world may have fallen to the Muslim invaders. Charles Martel acting on the sponsorship of the pope would be the grandfather of Charlemagne who would establish the Franks and the Carolingian empire as a bastion against Islam comparable to the Byzantines in the East.

Up until this battle, the advance of Islam had seemed inevitable. After it, the Christians knew they had a chance. The reasons for the victory appear to be Charles Martel's generalship: he secured the battlefield and adopted the correct tactics; he forged the disciplined army that fought off the Muslims; also the heavy cold rain militated against the Muslim strengths in heavy cavalry. Thus he was able to defeat a superior enemy. This account attributes much of the zeal of the invaders to their greed for loot and the attack on the camp where their booty was stored as the decisive factor. Also the death of their leader in battle.

This was brilliant, inspiring, and really made the battle come alive. There were only a few mechanical errors.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You call Martel - Marcel early on.

a days march- a day's march

he is laying and accusation - an accusation

any rightful victor should bare - any rightful victor should bear


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Review by LightinMind
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Craigwb I found "The dark side of White Hat Hacking when searching for articles on computers. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Written 20 years ago this summary of how companies should deal with the threat of hackers offers some time-tested advice. It still seems quite accurate 2 decades after this was originally written.

*Quill*Commentary

It was interesting to hear the experience you shared and it still seems relevant to today's IT world. The issues do not seem to have changed radically. Consultants and software houses still try and rip off their customers and get those dependent relationships that ensure a continual revenue stream. Sales and Marketing Managers still have way too much power over IT decision-making and are all too easily convinced by the sales gumpf and cost overruns for outsourced projects continue to overrun. Accountants still prefer project costs to operational expenses and therefore prefer to outsource rather than employ in-house. Most hacking takes place from people with inside knowledge of company security systems. Your idea of inviting the hackers in to test the companies defenses would need to be very well managed. The idea of downloading the tools from the public internet is quite risky these days as many of these tools are preloaded with backdoors used by the hackers behind the hackers. But overall enjoyed these words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing all those years ago.

The mechanical errors dragged down your rating.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Grammar checkers have improved since you wrote this and you will find a lot of errors with commas.

have as jaded a background as anyone other person in your company - have as jaded a background as any other people in your company

Find firms who agree - Find firms that agree


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