\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/26
Review Requests: ON
2,435 Public Reviews Given
2,435 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 22 23 24 25 -26- 27 28 29 30 31 ... Next
626
626
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello, sup Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Plagues: A TF Virus Guide" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A list of amusing and disturbing mythical diseases that are truly transformative of the human condition.


*Quill*Commentary

You could probably make a movie based on each of these. Indeed it does seem very Marvel Studios.

I was trying to work out which might actually occur in real life in some parallel universe of possibility.

Blue Fever sounds plausible and unpleasant.

Expanditus seems aptly named for expansion, I did not see much difference with Size Disorder G. Do many Americans and Brits already have this?!

I guess the Gender Bender Virus would cut down on the surgery requirements for psychologically identifying trans-gender types. You may get some phone requests for that one in these times.

Ageitus R Strain seems like something that a lot of 90 plus-year-olds might actually want to catch for a second chance at life, though I wonder who changes their nappies when they go full-on screaming child again.

I think I may well be a source transmitter of Bimboitis as I am sure that is precisely the effect I have on women *Wink*

Funny list, thanks.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You miss apostrophes: persons entire physiology - person's

A disease that directly effects the aging process. - affects


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
627
627
Review of Ted  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Odessa Molinari Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Ted" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A child in the cot, a breastfeeding mother and a cute, pink, fluffy teddy bear called Damian. What could possibly go wrong?...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Damian named after the Omen starring AntiChrist is pure evil but with a devotion to the baby in its cot, it is armed with razor-sharp teeth and claws. The "baby" seems to have named its teddy, possess a hateful adult vocabulary, have the consciousness of a disturbed teenager, and hate its mother. The mother is treating a baby as a baby and wants to think the best about it, translating Damian to Diddum and fussing over the child that she breastfeeds.

This was funny in a dark and twisted sort of way but utterly implausible. I guess horror is meant to play on people's fears, but fear is something that mainly evaporates on examination or with a disciplined response to it, which is why I guess most horror is just not scary to me.

But your piece is saved from those kinds of criticisms by its placement in the comedy genre.

I guess you could even argue there is a moral to the story. Evil may be "satisfying" in the moment but is self-defeating if you kill the woman that feeds you.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
628
628
Review of Bathos  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Datakon Author IconMail Icon. This is a reciprocal review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I noticed "Bathos" Open in new Window. when browsing through your portfolio. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Life is pain and vain, rain and sunshine and then it passes.

*Quill*Commentary

Very Ecclesiastes!

The author of Ecclesiastes (probably Solomon) concluded more positively:

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil. Ecc 12:13-14

You titled this Bathos ("an amusingly failed attempt at presenting artistic greatness")

But the poem itself echoed universal themes of human suffering and perception of the vanity of much living. There was nothing petty about it. It read as very authentic. Yes, there are imperfections in our art as in our lives but there is beauty and meaning in every life and those imperfections often phrase our stories. I reviewed a very good piece this morning which included an account of Da Vincis Mona Lisa on which he spent years but which still contained unfinished imperfections even at the end.

I liked this line:

It is rain
Falling on me
It is sun
Shining on me

Though in the UK and North Germany there is often this intermediate grey and speckled white clouds which is more boring.

Thanks for your poem.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Sometimes to much - Sometimes too much


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
629
629
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, SaKaToMe Author IconMail Icon I found "Taking the Mental out of Fundamentalism" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

So-called conservative Evangelical Fundamentalists just put people's backs up when they proclaim gays are on their way to hell, abortion is murder, and that Jesus is the only way. Their intolerance is not winning converts. But the First Amendment does and should protect their right to self-righteous protest. Evangelicals should be tolerated so that they can perhaps one day learn tolerance.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Your piece reminded me of the bible verse in Romans 12:18

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Leaders in the church are in part selected for the respect in which they are held by the wider community and not just of Christians. But how can they respect us when all we do is insult them?

I agreed with the sentiment of your article but as someone who holds conservative Evangelical convictions in a European context, I also think that it was a little careless and naive.

There is an organized group of powerful people who have been pushing LGBTQ rights now and attempting to impose them on people. The recent troubles with Poland in the EU are in part related to this. I accept that Theocratic approaches to imposing Christianity on people do not work very well but I am not about to have my own freedoms trampled on by a secular agenda. I am to accept that people's rights in workplaces, before the law, or with property should be respected regardless of their strange private choices. Also, that civil contracts between people that cause no harm to others should be respected. But to write into law that marriage can be gay is to redefine marriage for example and introduce deceit into the very legal code.

The Texas abortion law and the changes in the Supreme court have meant that a challenge to Roe v Wade is now possible in the USA. The principle of viability on which the current law is founded has always been quite arbitrary anyway in the historical scheme of things. It is clear that a great many people in the USA would resent any changes. The German system is the better model I think to reconcile the two sides than exists in the thinking of either side in the current American debate. It accepts that life begins at conception but after counseling, it permits abortion in the first trimester. It also provides good sex education in schools and provision for single mums. Adoption at birth is also a viable option here. A raft of changes to welfare provision and to the phrasing of the law is long overdue in the US context as the current arrangement only generates partisan bitterness and does not work to reduce abortion numbers. The Germans have the lowest abortion numbers in the Western world.

This was well written with minimal mechanical errors and argues a persuasive case.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

embarassments - embarrassments

nearest Safeway).The solution - space needed before The

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
630
630
Review of Faithless  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, DMB Secundus Author IconMail Icon I found "Faithless" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A poem that expresses the heartfelt rejection of Christian faith and practice in favor of a "rational, scientific" outlook.

*Quill*Commentary

Part of my reason for seeking out people I disagree with is to test my reviewing system. I approach this piece knowing I am probably going to hate your content but it is important to be impartial when reviewing things like this and I thought atheists would be a good kind of test for it.

It is clear in this poem that your rejection of Christianity is not born of ignorance of Christians but has been articulated with some understanding of them and their practices.

I thought I would focus therefore on the issues that seem to have provoked most resentment and incredulity expressed in your poem:

The man in his high pulpit preaching at you - an authority you reject
the fairytales from the bible - you doubt the authenticity and credibility of the scriptures
Pale trio - the doctrine of the Trinity is polytheism disguised as monotheism
not word you say is true - seems that you only respond to a scientific argument
Christians do not respect those on different paths

There is a theme here that you a man of nature are rational and scientific while Christians are not. The pastor I grew up with had a PhD in Physics and was a fellow at a major Physics institute before he became a Vicar. I wonder how you and he would have gotten on.

I am a fan of Stephen Meyers books which I would recommend if you are interested in hearing a more rational and scientific response to the authority of atheistic materialism:
Darwins Doubt
The signature in the cell
The Return of the God hypothesis

The poem was well articulated with only a minimal number of mechanical errors. Your mark is 2.5 stars out of 3 for mechanics and 1 out of 2 for content. That is a good mark in which improvement is still possible.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Light you candles - In context, this seems better served with "your candles"

Then like Russian roulette we play so many games - Then like Russian roulette, we play so many games

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
631
631
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Hello, nonny Author IconMail Icon I found "Religous Truth: The Government" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

There is no place for religion in government. We need to respect people of different faith positions or lack of faith positions.

*Quill*Commentary

There is an appalling ignorance of other religions than Christianity here which is employed to undermine the exclusivity of a Christian America. For example:

Why not say "under Budda" instead of "under God" in the pledge of alligence. - Not only does this include spelling mistakes but it shows no understanding of Buddhism and what the Buddha would want.

I had hoped this might get into the issues of theocracy versus freedom that usually characterize pieces of this sort but you barely touched on those kinds of issues. Personally, I believe that the Christian church should aim for freedom of worship rather than domination because most theocracies in a fallen world end up quite oppressive and also with distorted and narrow-minded outlooks of the Christian faith let alone those of other people. Christians can be in charge but they should not invade people's private spaces.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

There are a lot of mechanical errors here with missing capitalization, spelling errors, and grammatical issues for example. I would recommend using a grammar checker. These have improved a lot since you wrote this.

You have a spelling mistake in your title which undermines your entire piece.

The errors are too numerous to list but for example:

nuetrality - neutrality
Budda - Buddha
Muslums - Muslims
alligence - allegiance


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
632
632
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello, Filius von Straught Author IconMail Icon I found "The Credibility of Religion" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on atheism. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author addresses religion and Christianity in particular suggesting that faith in it is a product of human psychology attempting to rationalize and understand the world. He suggests that science and an atheistic materialistic explanation of millions of years of human evolution give better explanations for things. The Holy books can be debunked and are not reliable. Much of Christian behavior makes no sense. In essence, he attacks the credibility of the religious outlook and lifestyle.

*Quill*Commentary

This is quite densely worded and a little rambling. To be more convincing you might have focused it on various points where you think your arguments were strongest and gone into more depth defending your assumptions. As it is this is really just a bubble of consciousness where all the assumptions you make about materialism, what science has demonstrated, and human psychology are simply thrown at your reader in one long monologue.

In response to the content of this, I will focus on just a few points you made which I believe would have to be addressed by your argument.

1) The relationship between religion and psychology is clear. But why is it that the psychological need for religion appears to be near-universal across the planet in different times and locations? Does this not indicate some kind of God-shaped hole in our design as people which requires fulfillment for our psychological well-being. Is evolution an adequate explanation for why that might be there given the phenomena of martyrdom contradicts natural selection and compassion for the weak contradicts it also? The Christian view that we are all made in the image of God, however, broken we have become, fits better here.

2) Science can prove nothing about the existence or nonexistence of God. It can only demonstrate so much also. There is a difference between the conclusions of scientific theories that you assume are true and what can be demonstrated. You use speculations from science to try and overthrow Christian convictions. But in the end, these are held to by faith in these various models not the product of things you can prove with repeatable, peer-reviewed experimentation.

3) The Bible text is reliable and is quite comprehensibly defended. Muslims and atheists have vested interests in doubting that and do their best to doubt biblical authenticity and preservation. An excellent book to read on this is "Reinventing Jesus."


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You lose a lot of points on mechanical issues. If you are going to slag off someone's religion you probably need to resolve these kinds of issues that undermine the credibility of your critique.

Grammar checkers may have improved since you wrote this. There are innumerable grammar and spelling mistakes to correct here. You miss a lot of pronouns in key places also e.g.

This leads us back to burden of proof - the burden of proof
in the past couple decades - of decades
the open window let in wind - the wind

You use which when you should use that.

There are typos like this:

he can’t me envisioned by humans - be envisioned

Extra words:

To choose between the two, it comes down to scientific evidence. - To choose between the two, it comes down to scientific evidence.

Spelling:
Qaran - Quran

This sentence makes no sense and should be rephrased:

Not only is the Church’s history not credibility of religion, it is a strong argument against it.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
633
633
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Rojodi Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "NaNoWriMo Prep Beginning" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Sheridan Lockwood is from Beverwyck NY, a medium-sized city north of Schenectady. He is a natural athlete into sports and he is a bookworm with a voracious appetite for reading. He loves life and then he meets her...


*Quill*Commentary

He sounds quite like me, sports and books being my two-lifetime passions also. Does meeting the woman of your dreams and having a family, really have to overthrow that momentum though? You make it almost sound like he meets the woman and his distinctive character is overthrown by that and his life is ended by the seismic changes that follow. If your character is not murdered by her then I would suggest this might be an imbalanced perspective. Of course, in the moment it might feel that romantic love overthrows everything and indeed it does change everything but does it completely eradicate the person who falls in love - I do not think so.

I might also have been interested in what he read about and whether or not that had shaped any kind of convictions about God, the Universe, the meaning of life, the nature of reality, and right and wrong.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Nothing found.

Until the day he met her!


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
634
634
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hello, bob county Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Evil is the absence of good." Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a confused, personal tirade against Ann Coulter and the Republican party. It proposes a new god called Zuzu. It appears to imply a dark neurotic attraction and hatred for Ann Coulter. The poem is interspersed with references to Friedrich Nietzsche and also mimics various bible verses.

*Quill*Commentary

I take it you did not like Ann Coulter or the Republican party in 2013. I wonder what you think of Trump and the new Republicans now.

This is quite confused with powerful images bunched up in a jumble. It is in essence a dark rapist fantasy with a heavy misuse of theology and Nietzsche's writings.

There are references to Miss Coulters relationship to a bad god that pecks at her white skin like a swan conceiving Republicans and then dominates the mob mocking the exploitation of workers while drinking Yager beer. Apparently, this annoys Zuzu who then destroys her remakes the world with Ann Coulter as a concubine in a Frat House. All of this is endorsed and affirmed by misappropriated quotes from Nietzsche.

A brief examination of Ann Coulter's positions seems to indicate she has strong Christian and Republican convictions and loves to stir the pot. She is the kind of woman I would love to have a conversation with as I am sure she would be interesting. She made a name for herself during the anti-Bill Clinton Paula Jones case. But the kind of harassment your poem gives is on a whole different level. She is partisan and in my view a little imbalanced while being right about many of the things she has taken a stand on. I am not sure we are ever going to agree about the woman.

This piece did have errors and on a personal level, I hated its dark erotic content. But it was provocative and clever in a twisted kind of way also. I think you need to work out your relationship with Coulter though, this is clearly an unbalanced perspective on her. If you had painted this as dark comedy you might have gotten an extra half star.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

no other Gods
before me! - unnecessary extra space

knew world. - new world


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
635
635
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello, Mythoughts@chetan Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Covid Life Lessons" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is an Indian man's account of the Corona Virus Pandemic. He is the sole breadwinner in his family and he describes his experience of the Pandemic, his fears about losing his job, and the things he has learned from it. He is especially grateful for his family and friends that helped sustain him through this time.

*Quill*Commentary

This account was meant to be a personal summary of lessons learned during the Pandemic. I felt you rambled a bit and this was done in a conversational style with a large number of grammatical errors.

There were some good lessons about not losing hope in adversity, stronger bonds with family, that nothing can be taken for granted, the importance of personal hygiene and physical well-being, a better diet, making new friends, and striving to be a better human being. There is also now a better appreciation of doctors and nurses.

Your main conviction about why Covid came was that it was a test sent by Mother Nature or by God. It seems you feel that we passed the test and are now coming out the other side. Hence the list of lessons learned was important for moving on.

The mechanics drag down the number of stars I can give you for this a lot but I liked the content of it. 2.5 stars is an average rating. Please see my rating system for an explanation of that.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

I would advise using a Grammar checker as there are unnecessary spaces, misuse of commas, spelling mistakes, double adverbs, and poor use of tenses throughout this text. For example:

Double adverb- mostly importantly - most importantly
loose - lose
this testing times - these testing times


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
636
636
Review of My Computer  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Ivy Frozen/Rater Moon Author IconMail Icon I found "My Computer" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on computers. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A humorous account of a man pleading with his computer to do what he wants it to do, periodically insulting, cursing, and begging it before concluding it is just nasty. Then the reply from the computer about his abuse, overuse, and incompetence with it.


*Quill*Commentary

The computer is the enemy here on a par with ex-wives. The user pleads and threatens it for a last-minute printout that never seems to come. The computer's reply indicates the man spends most of his time playing games on the computer and surfing and drove him to the crash that he now blames on it.

I found this quite hilarious.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

No obvious errors


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
637
637
Review of The Broken Blade  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Loagden Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Broken Blade" Open in new Window. while browsing at random. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a fictional account of the Umayyad invasion of Western Europe which was confounded by the Battle of Tours in October 732. The battle lasted a week, was conducted in cold heavy rain, and resulted in the defeat of the invaders. This was despite their numerical superiority and deployment of heavy cavalry against Charles Martels Frankish infantry. The Franks adopted a defensive posture during the battle and succeeded in repelling the invaders and in seizing booty from their camp.


*Quill*Commentary

This account is mainly the recounting of the experience of one of Charles Martel's infantrymen. He speaks also with Chlodric a fellow Frank and in the last moments of the battle with one of the wounded and dying invaders who hold a silver cross he probably looted from Christians he killed on the way to the battle.

This is one of the most significant victories in the history of the planet as without it Western Europe and indeed the world may have fallen to the Muslim invaders. Charles Martel acting on the sponsorship of the pope would be the grandfather of Charlemagne who would establish the Franks and the Carolingian empire as a bastion against Islam comparable to the Byzantines in the East.

Up until this battle, the advance of Islam had seemed inevitable. After it, the Christians knew they had a chance. The reasons for the victory appear to be Charles Martel's generalship: he secured the battlefield and adopted the correct tactics; he forged the disciplined army that fought off the Muslims; also the heavy cold rain militated against the Muslim strengths in heavy cavalry. Thus he was able to defeat a superior enemy. This account attributes much of the zeal of the invaders to their greed for loot and the attack on the camp where their booty was stored as the decisive factor. Also the death of their leader in battle.

This was brilliant, inspiring, and really made the battle come alive. There were only a few mechanical errors.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You call Martel - Marcel early on.

a days march- a day's march

he is laying and accusation - an accusation

any rightful victor should bare - any rightful victor should bear


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
638
638
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Craigwb Author IconMail Icon I found "The dark side of White Hat Hacking" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on computers. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Written 20 years ago this summary of how companies should deal with the threat of hackers offers some time-tested advice. It still seems quite accurate 2 decades after this was originally written.

*Quill*Commentary

It was interesting to hear the experience you shared and it still seems relevant to today's IT world. The issues do not seem to have changed radically. Consultants and software houses still try and rip off their customers and get those dependent relationships that ensure a continual revenue stream. Sales and Marketing Managers still have way too much power over IT decision-making and are all too easily convinced by the sales gumpf and cost overruns for outsourced projects continue to overrun. Accountants still prefer project costs to operational expenses and therefore prefer to outsource rather than employ in-house. Most hacking takes place from people with inside knowledge of company security systems. Your idea of inviting the hackers in to test the companies defenses would need to be very well managed. The idea of downloading the tools from the public internet is quite risky these days as many of these tools are preloaded with backdoors used by the hackers behind the hackers. But overall enjoyed these words of wisdom. Thanks for sharing all those years ago.

The mechanical errors dragged down your rating.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Grammar checkers have improved since you wrote this and you will find a lot of errors with commas.

have as jaded a background as anyone other person in your company - have as jaded a background as any other people in your company

Find firms who agree - Find firms that agree


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
639
639
Review of Mischief Training  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Mischief Training" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Giuseppe is giving some mice Survival 101 training. He teaches them to avoid the various traps that humans lay for them. He has brought them all together in a single place with one entrance. Suddenly...

*Quill*Commentary

It is ironic that Giuseppe missed the lesson of not crowding all into the same place where you could be trapped by humans. Given his experience of human brutality relating to the various traps he described perhaps he should have known better.

I found this quite funny.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

The title and the content seemed at odds with each other. This was survival training, not mischief training.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
640
640
Review of Limbo  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello, Sophy Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Limbo" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A male family member is dying. This is the time when there still remains uncertainty about the outcome of cancer. In many ways that is worse than the time in the beginning when it was first discovered and the time in the end when it is finally over.

*Quill*Commentary

I found this quite powerful and also very true. It is the waiting and the uncertainty which wears people down more than the diagnosis and final resolution.

Hope is overthrown continually by reality, the whole thing drags on and everything feels as if it is on hold, just waiting in a kind of limbo.

I had a relative die recently of covid. It was a similar experience albeit vastly accelerated. The diagnosis was shocking but we hoped he might pull through then there was the deterioration and expectation of almost immediate death. But then he hung on those extra days and there was the hope he might yet pull through. But then he died and it was over and it seemed kind of right in the circumstances.

Thought this was well expressed.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

No issues.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
641
641
Review of Mother-Tree  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Sophy Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Mother-Tree" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author describes a grand old Mother Tree.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

I liked this.

These lines were cool:

your long graceful branches
reaching and stretching
in so many different directions
creating new branches
which create branches -
both those we see now
and those yet to come.

They gave a sense of time, past and present, and of continual growth.

Also liked the idea of leaning back against the trunk and listening to that distinctive sound of this tree, with the wind in its leaves and its own creaky noises.

Some of the oldest still living things in all creation are trees taking us back as far as we can reliably see through history.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

difficult to trod - tread


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
642
642
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello, prish Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Ultimate Question" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Having watched "The Good Place" a lot the author's interest in moral philosophy has increased. In this piece, he discusses good and bad.


*Quill*Commentary

The author first discloses his fundamental assumption that people who dislike him are bad and those that do not are good. He quickly shreds this idea realizing that it is quite a narrow viewpoint. But in such a complex, diverse world who can say what is right or wrong?

He suggests that an imperfect world will always generate imperfect people. The fire we choose to put out means that another one burns untended. In an imperfect world, how can a person be good?

He then quotes two theories:
Utilitarianism - if the effect is good then it (the action or person) was good.
versus
Kant - good actions are tainted by bad methods.

The example you quoted of giving to the poor when poor yourself was not properly articulated. The utilitarian view would be that a poor person needs help. You are good if you give and not if you do not to them. But equally further impoverishing yourself is a bad end. So you would be both good and bad if you gave from a Utilitarian perspective. Kant would suggest that becoming more of a burden on others in order to help others would not be the best example of goodness in action.

Personally, I am a Christian with a bible, church, tradition, and conscience to tell me what is good and what is evil. People spend a lot of time talking about good and bad but in reality, no one is good except God and so the focus of the discussion should be upon Him. What He says is good and what He says is evil is evil. That simplifies my life quite considerably. For example, as a poor student, I always gave 10% of my income to the church and Christian causes. I do the same now even though I am richer than I was then. The discipline of giving is independent of the level of wealth. As a believer I trust in God who ultimately manages a world that is not my responsibility. I cannot save everyone, nor judge everyone but He can. He delegates stuff to me occasionally, like help this person or that one but it is up to me to say yes or no to that. It is extremely liberating to know that one's self is not the benchmark of goodness or indeed evil in the world. That is God's job and He does it better basically.

Modern nihilism and the New Atheists especially have done the world a major disservice in attempting to dissolve the reference points of our morality and indeed sanity in God. The fruit is all too clear.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Utilitarianism states that as long as the consequences to our actions are good - of our actions


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
643
643
Review of Abnormalities  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, W.D.Wilcox Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Chapter 11: Anderson Becomes A Memory" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

In a dismal place of death, darkness, and decay the author sees a humped man who is even scarier than the City of the Dead. Who is this unspeakable menace?...


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

A nightmare in which the author stars as the scariest person on the block. Very clever. This was well written, suitably dark and dismal and I loved the description of the old church clock without any hands. It kind of summarised the darkness you wished to express.

There is nothing inspirational here, no hope or light at all and I found one mistake.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

putrefication - putrefaction


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
644
644
Review of Book of Hebrews  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, a304design Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Book of Hebrews" Open in new Window. at random. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

This is a study of Hebrews 1:1-4. It includes some general comments about the book including dating, authorship, purpose. There is a comparison between the seven ages of the Jewish view of history and the seven ages of the church (he reads Revelation in a historicist fashion). Jesus is the most complete revelation that there is of God.

*Quill*Commentary

God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, 2 has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds; 3 who being the brightness of His glory and the express image of His person, and upholding all things by the word of His power, when He had by Himself purged our sins, sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, 4 having become so much better than the angels, as He has by inheritance obtained a more excellent name than they. Hebrews 1:1-4 (NKJV)

The basic message of Hebrews is that Jesus is all you need, that He is better than all the alternatives (including prophets, angels, Temple sacrifice system, and Moses), and that because of Him we have full and unrestricted access to God.

It is written in some of the best Greek in scripture in the form of a sermon and is quite unique in its structure and form. No one knows who wrote it but it had the affirmation of the apostles and is universally accepted by the church at large. Unlike with Paul, the quotes here come from the Greek Septuagint, not the Hebrew scrolls that he carried around with him. It was probably written during Nero's persecution of Christians in the mid to late sixties AD.

It is written to Jews in the Jerusalem church from Rome to a community in distress and is meant to encourage seasoned Christians who have grown weary and are now facing new challenges to persevere. The third pope Clement loved it echoing many of its verses in his own papal rebuke to the church in Corinth in 1 Clement. The first ten chapters are written in the format of doctrinal instruction and the last three as a practical exhortation to a struggling church.

As the above shows, I broadly agreed with your summary of the purpose of the book.

I notice you are using the original KJV with old words like "Sundry" which is a good translation but no longer the best and most refined translation as it uses archaic English and does not have access to the full range of source manuscripts now available. The NKJV and indeed NRSV are better. The most accurate but not necessarily the best to read is the NASB. This is a controversial topic in itself but is important in this discussion.

You put an enormous amount of weight on this one word "Sundry" and then graft in an interpretation of the seven ages of the Jews and church on top of it. This is nowhere to be found in the passage this exposition is about though and so it undermines your expressed intent to explain this passage.

Also, not everyone accepts the notion that the seven-day week of the Jews can be translated into seven literal ages nor a historicist reading of the first chapters of Revelation regarding the seven churches that translates into seven church ages. Since this was controversial it could not merely be asserted as a given as you did. Since it was irrelevant to the main meaning of the passage it was unclear why you did this anyway.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Missing commas.

forward for Christ to return - forward to Christ returning

The reality of the 7 church ages then gave an added importance to the 7 Jewish ages - The reality of the 7 church ages then gave an added importance to the 7 Jewish ages

The words and thoughts I will share listed below are my opinion - plural thoughts and words so must be opinions, not opinion singular.

angles - angels


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
645
645
Review of Jasmine  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, Purple Catching Up Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Jasmine" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Jasmine is being forced into an arranged marriage by her father the king who apparently decided this while drunk. She is determined to sabotage his intent and get out of this. Then the door is opened to the castle and she sees...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Jasmin sounds rightly peeved at an arrangement over which she has no say. No details have been given as to why this marriage was planned beyond the fact that her father got drunk. She is given no details about who it is. One wonders given her reaction to Aladdin if her father had in fact given her exactly what she wanted but had tested her loyalty also to her royal responsibilities and role in the way that she was led to her husband.

This was well written and seems to have had a good ending. Jasmin grows through distrust to find wisdom in her father's choice that might after all be acceptable to her also.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

None.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
646
646
Review of A Good Day to Die  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello, Graywriter Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "A Good Day to Die" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Rudd wants to marry Sarai. But first, he wants to kill the forest cat. This is a feat that no one else has accomplished yet is somehow so important to Rudd that he is prepared to risk his life to achieve it on his wedding day. He smells the cat before he finds it and then...

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

So it is Rudd against the cat with Sarai as the incentive and prize he wants to return to. The hunter sounded plausible and you brought your reader effectively into the forest with him on his hunt. The kill was also plausible as he managed to approach it from downwind and get his arrow away before being mauled to death.

I liked the play on: good day to be a man; good day to die; good day to be alive, setting the emotional context for the encounter.

He kills the cat, gets the girl, and overcomes his fears, achieving something no one else has ever done. So a good day indeed for Rudd.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

Your first sentence reads:
Rudd stalked through the moss-cluttered forest, his senses alert. - I found that a puzzling image. Moss is a shade of green on a busy chaotic mass of vegetation and trees in a forest. Usually, it is less about cluttering than smoothing over conflicting colors and surfaces. A carpet over broken branches.

saphire - sapphire

backwards - backward

Rudd's breath was slowing.He space before He

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
647
647
Review of Hail Britannia  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello, Oldwarrior Author IconMail Icon I found "Hail Britannia" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on Boudica. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

An alternate version of the Boudica rebellion against Roman rule and the battle of Watling Street that determined its outcome. Brittania became a free, united, and prosperous land as a result of her victory and various reforms that followed.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

I loved the story and the battle scene especially. You included a lot of historical detail and then changed the narrative according to your own alternate history. As an Angle from Germany, my ancestors conquered the primitive Celts and so I do not trace the freedom narrative that the British have propagated around the world to them.

Suetonius Paulinus had entrenched his 10000 men with a forest behind him, in a narrow gorge opening onto a wide-open plain. The Celtic tribes approached from the plain and were wiped out. Your suggestion assumed a degree of discipline lacking in the Celtic tribes of the time and a wisdom of Boudica that was also lacking.
She had neither studied the Roman art of war and was overconfident due to her previous victories and her numbers. The Roman historian Cassius Dio said her force was 230000 which is not an impossible number but modern historians tend to reduce those numbers to 100000 because they conveniently exaggerated the measure of the Roman victory. Also, there was no cover on the sides according to the original accounts. There was the gorge which the Romans had covered and then there was the open plain. So 20000 ill-disciplined Celtic warriors on alternate sides of the plain would have been noticed- Given the numerical disparity and their entrenched position the Romans had no incentive to break their position and advance into the plain and especially given the previous massacres at the hands of the Celts. They only had to rely on the Celts coming to them, which they did. This was a textbook example of Generalship by Suetonius and of Roman military discipline. They advanced when the Celtic waves stopped coming and started running. They were hemmed in however by the wagons surrounding the back of the plain in which they had placed their women and children, watching the battle. So the Roman cavalry was able to massacre large numbers of them before they got away.

Also, I do not believe the Romans would have given up on the province so lightly. You mentioned Emperors Vespasian and Titus both of whom were involved in the brutal suppression of the Jewish rebellion after they had declared independence for some 6 years. Maybe a million people were killed in that action. The Celts were fractured tribes and even with the threat of Rome, I doubt if they would have kept any kind of unity.

So I found this a little implausible but a fantastic read. There were a few mechanical issues also.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

You said Icini consistently but pretty sure the consensus is that it was Iceni.

You are missing a load of commas.

You use which a lot when you should use that.

In a defining clause, use that. In non-defining clauses, use which. Remember, which is as disposable as a sandwich bag. If you can remove the clause without destroying the meaning of the sentence, the clause is nonessential and you can use which.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
648
648
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Coffeebean Author IconMail Icon I found "Boudica: Queen of Iceni" Open in new Window. when searching for articles on Boudica. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Boudica Queen of the Iceni prepares her men for battle at Watling Street 60AD. The doubters are led by Arbaris who has taken the measure of the Roman position and discipline and suggested they have the advantage. Boudica ignores him in favor of the omens given to her by her gods and her just cause.

*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

So it is Boudica, the Queen, against the fear and sense in the heart of Arbaris. She should have listened to him! Her victories had been against much less substantial Roman forces. Only 200 men had defended the capital Camulodunum and she had massacred them. The soldiers of the ninth legion that had tried to liberate the city had also only been a token force. But at Watling Street, the Roman Commander Suetonius Paulinus was ready for her with some 10000 men. Even though outnumbered some 20-1 he had positioned himself in a narrow gorge with a forest behind him thereby setting the approach root that Boudica's army had to attack down. Her men were not trained professionals and 80000 of them died in the battle.

She claimed just cause and today we might consider her sexual harassment by the Romans and the usurping of her throne by them as so. But in the context, the Iceni were a backward people led by Druids and omens and ripe to fall. Britain benefited from a Roman victory and was the better for the conquest.

In practice, she should have starved the Romans out, or burnt the forest behind them down and made them come to her. But her army was ill-disciplined and might not have stood around for such a time as was necessary. They had overconfidence in numbers and did not respect their enemy so got what was coming to them.

I liked the way you captured her reasoning and especially the way she described the omen in her pep talk. Arbaris, the antagonist in this story was actually right here.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None found.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
649
649
Review of Will Not Bow.  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, IsadoraJynx Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Will Not Bow." Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author has made her mistakes and knows her past sins. But she is starting over now and has found a new purpose in helping others. She has a strength gained from what she has overcome.

*Quill*Commentary

Very inspiring, authentic, and well written. I found two small mistakes otherwise I was tempted to give you a full five stars for this.

I loved the movement and the wording and the sentiment of this poem, which was all in a positive direction.

Sort of like the "unconquerable soul" (Henley - Invictus), that perseveres against darkness, applied to the self yet leading to an altruistic rather than self-centered victory.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

i’ve - capitalize the I as you have done so elsewhere.

clamore - clamor


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
650
650
Review of Bright Future  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Brook.lin Galf Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Bright Future" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A journey through the dark to the light. A movement from drowning, from the night, from the depths, towards freedom.

*Quill*Commentary

I liked the theme of from darkness to light. Though I wondered why this was accompanied by a yearning for the end of June which is the brightest of all months with the longest of all days.

The old words gave it a context and distinctive feel but seem to have been misused.

*Quill*Mechanical issues

You used 4 really old English/Scottish words here that had me scrambling for the dictionary.

Leoht meaning light is singular so should the next word be "has?"

Fleoge is from the verb to flee but you use it as a noun.

Clead again is a verb while you use it to describe a clothing object.

Earldor is a title but here it is used as if it were a place or a warming object like the sun or something.

The birds gale lovely tune - Does this mean the birds are yelling in which case why is it lovely. Or is this sound of a flock of birds? Was not clear to me.


Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,308 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 53 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/26