*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ion_7/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/28
Review Requests: ON
1,587 Public Reviews Given
1,588 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 24 25 26 27 -28- 29 30 31 32 33 ... Next
676
676
Review of bleck hole  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

You certainly have the element of suspense down quite well. I love the verbal exchange between the characters. Another thing I admired was your nostalgic description of the inside of the black wholes. Good job on the characters responses too! There's just one error I saw through out the story. I found see several typos in it. Remember also that you put spaces between dialog lines. With some change I think you could write some good stories. Just watch those typos! Congratulations for being part of WDC for another year!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
677
677
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


I especially liked the persevering personality of Lori. She's rather head strong headed. In reality this is a blessing and a curse. The trick is knowing when to yield. How would you describe your personality? You must possess intelligence and self expression as traits since you're writing. Also because your good at it too.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
678
678
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I like how this story is so brutally honest and how emotionally gritty it is. You have good talent and you need to exercise your abilities. I can tell from the complex and descriptive words you use that you certainly have the gifted of writing. PLEASE write more.-preferably a story this time. BTW, I'm a creative writing major myself! Have a happy WDC birthday!


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
679
679
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

What a nostalgic story. The goodness of the characters was very touching. I like fantasy that evokes something of nature. I wrote a story once called Spirits of The Forest Plain. Its in my port. You might like it. Forgive me if I overlooked it, but is there a continuation to this story? BTW, this review was done celebrating another year at WDc to this very day. Wish for something worth while!

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#169553 by Not Available.
680
680
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

This story had great immersion and was quite peculiar. I mean that in a good way. The title was kind of poetic and carried a somber undertone. I really liked it and judging by the reviews for this, allot of people feel the same way! BTW, this review was made celebrating another year of being with WDC. Congrats!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
681
681
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


I love tales having animals with human traits. It's funny and fascinating to watch interaction between them and personalities that reflected in what type of animal they are. I also like how you personified the sun as well. The end was sad but I like a little melancholy savor to a story sometimes. I think this could be enjoyed by children and adults too. Nice work!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
682
682
Review of Prologue  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


This prologue has lots of suspense. So is there a sci-fi twist at the end or did some unknown individual place the flowers and the cross at the tomb stone? I also like the humor in it. I've never experienced the pain that Mark had. Ouch! I might just read the first chapter too. Oh, and did you know that from this very day you have been with WDC for another year? Well thats what this review is for. Have a happy WDC birthday!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
683
683
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

You certainly carried the melancholy mood very well through the whole prologue. It was interesting to see men and animals unite over Ve'el-she-nat's last hours. You made me curious at the ending. In fact, that was my favorite part. You really drew me into it and made me wonder what the High Lord will say. I also give you thanks for making your story so easy to follow. You did this quite well. Great job! Have a happy WDC birthday!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
684
684
Review of Can't Buy Me Love  
Review by brom21
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Man! that last sentence was harsh. Its a shame how Lillian and her father Martin were never at peace in life and that the end of the enmity between them came in the tragedy of his death. Its bitter sweet. This is actually a classic premise. Some Disney animated film come to mind like The little Mermaid and Alladin. Very good romance story you have. Have a happy WDC birthday! Blow out your candles and wish for eternal love!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
685
685
Review of Voi-284  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Man! This was such an engaging masterpiece of work! You really drew me in from the beginning with the alarm going off and the AI giving warnings from the intercom. You kept my interest the whole way through. I also found it very easy to follow which is a prime element that I look for. If I may ask, did you revise this story? If so, how many revisions did it take to get it this good? Oh, and have a happy WDC birthday!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
686
686
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


This poem uses good imagery and metaphor. I have a couple of suggestions for you. The rhythm and rhyming slightly irregular.
The rhyming doesn't follow a certain pattern such as aabb or abab and so on. I even saw rhyming within a single line once or twice. Also think of condensing your poem. Finally what exactly is the stranger? What is he a metaphor of?

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
687
687
Review by brom21
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Never have I seen a more plainly illustrated depiction of child abuse. I hate it so much. I can only imaginer the horror. The worst emotional devastation I've experienced is my mental illness which is schizophrenia. Everyone has an inner child and its in some ways its our core. I can only imagine what you feel.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
688
688
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

You sure have a funny imagination! One other thing liked about your story is that it was easy to follow. I also liked how there was so much spacing due to all the dialog exchange. By doing this you showed the story and didn't tell it. Great work! And have a happy WDC birthday! Wish for something nice!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
689
689
Review of Off To War  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Like you said, more or less, we are ignorant about so many things concerning freedom and politics. Sometimes freedom is abused like you pointed out as well. We're blessed to live in this country. With all the creature comforts and pleasures we cloud our minds with, we turn a blind eye towards all that's going on in the world.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
690
690
Review of Sometimes...  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Sister, you're a breath of fresh air. These things are so true. This is a good anaphora poem. I absolutely think that that the ending is very quint. It wraps up things perfectly. But inevitably,as you indicated, the world will just get work until the Lord comes. Oh, and have a happy WDC b-day BTW!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
691
691
Review of My First Time  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

It takes great tenacity to persevere through crappy jobs. Sometimes you have to be thankful for what you have even if you think it sucks. My best friend left his job at a hospital because hew didn't like it. Now he wishes he he wouldn't have and now he's desperate for a job. You may or may not have heard that Las Vegas has one of the worst job markets in the nation. Lucky for me I'm staying with my mom and step dad while I'm in school and I don't have a job to worry about. So are you at a different job now?
BTW, put spaces between paragraphs. The huge block of text is overwhelming to the eye and makes it a bit hard to read. Also I congratulate you for having been with WDC for yet another year! Blow out your candles and make a wish!


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
692
692
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I am a gamer but I've only heard of Fallen Earth. I do PS3 though. I take it this is a computer game. Is it first person or is it like World of Warcraft? I am familiar with Oblivion though because they made it for PS3. It was just okay however. Do you do consoles?

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
693
693
Review of Eden Now  
Review by brom21
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Sometimes I think it would be cool to be part machine but man isn't perfect so I might be victim of a devastating flaw;one that could kill me or make me go insane. Like i commented on your previous story this could happen but maybe to a lesser extent. Or maybe it could happen- I don't know. Like you mentioned before, man will fear no God. That much has happened in part in the present. It will just get worse. BTW, congrats on being part of WDC for yet another year!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
694
694
Review of Control Group  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Pretty accurate view of the future. In my opinion this kind of sort of foretelling that is inevitable. I'm a Christian and I ardently think we're on the road to totalitarian rule and the dissolution of freedom in America. It may sound like crackpot stuff but it's gonna happen.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
695
695
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

It's very nice to see you reconciled to your mom even though it took a time. Most cases like this never get resolved. I have some family members who are heartbroken and others engulfed in rage. I pray that my entire family will one day come together in love and forgiveness. It may look bad but God can do anything. Good to hear.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC




696
696
Review by brom21
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Wow, you have a very rich family history and you know how to convey your experiences quite well. I don't really have a good recollection of past relatives or occurrences that happened before time. Thank you for sharing this personal account with the rest of us. Oh, and happy WDC b-day!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
697
697
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

What a spooky story. You really know how to set the tone for suspense. This made it easy to follow and that's a prime factor I look for in story. I also like how you were able to establish everything needed for as story in such a relatively small amount of space. It's hard for me to do this. It ends up being very choppy and shallow. Great job.
698
698
Review of Leprechaun Gold  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)

This is my favorite poem. I like it because it is more like a story than just a description. It's short but whimsical with a person's greed gaining him nothing but emptiness in the end. I take it this is set in the mid evil times; particularly because of the use of tho'. either that or it's just how people talk in Ireland. I hope you win.
699
699
Review of The Iguana Fiasco  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

What a funny, creative mind you have! Oh, how i feel for that poor iguana. I've never had lizard before and I certainly never will. Tell me, do they really eat iguana in that part of the middle East? Anyway, I'd just like to again say funny work and I wish you a happy WDC birth day. Ah, yet another year.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
700
700
Review of Some Life  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


How funny that the protagonists are a pair of shoes! I must say I never would have thought this up. Such a unique point of view. It's kind of creepy in a way to think that our attire has minds of their own. I could just sea a person with snake skin boots come alive and start attacking people! Hmm. Maybe bringing clothes to life would be a good premise for a horror story. Just a thought. Good read!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
859 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 35 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ion_7/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/28