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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Is this from the viewpoint of you or your grandmother? I'm not sure. Dealing with death is always tough. One particular thing to keep in mind is that we'll all die some day and we must address this dilemma before it happens. But for those who are saved by God death is not "goodbye" but a "see ya later." Keep that in mind. I liked very much how you depict everything and how it changed.
A heartfelt read. Write on!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
702
702
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Wow, I never thought that the famous land down under was so diverse. It seems like a pretty nostalgic place to live. It's interesting how the outback is the only well known aspect of Australia when there's so much more. I love how you are surrounded by such thriving nature. Now Australia is on my top places I want to visit most. Thanks for sharing and for earning the award-icon! Write on!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
703
703
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

This as an effective and creative way to illustrate your point. I'm sure you're familiar with the saying "sign of the times?" Like you said, more than ever these signs are appearing. Man is taking the place of God. When the end comes it will be the storm of all storms. This is very poetic in form. Great job!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
704
704
Review of A Twisted Night  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie
Probably one of the best things about this story is that it is easy to follow and comprehend. It was nicely done. The setting was made very well. Have you ever thought of making this a series? Maybe you could have the other family members have a bigger part in it. Just a thought.

{bitem;1693553}
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

I really admire you. The way you approach the situations of an autistic child is gracious and informative. I'm only twenty seven and I don't have kids or am married, so i can't fully understand how you or another would feel in these cases but I can imagine how it must be. You could do this with a non-autistic child too I'm sure. Have a happy WDC b-day! Wow, another year at WDC!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
706
706
Review of Minotaur  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

You certainly know how to use description and very well at that. I was however confused at some points. Was the beast in his head or was it real? Also, What was the cause and significance of the deserted side walk? This is my first review of a short story I've dome in a long time so forgive me for any ignorance.


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
707
707
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Being a Christian myself I feel you. I liked how you expressed the bare knuckle truth about life and God. The last line is very choppy though. Also the meter is slightly off and faint. Try improving your rhythm. Something that might help you with this is to condense your writing. Once again this genuine and truthful. Great job.


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
708
708
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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What a touching short story. So this really happened in some fashion? One thing like about Alanna is that she is one of a kind. Her intelligence, kindness, and patience are rare characteristics for a person to develop naturally into. The ending was bitter sweet with Alanna being taken from their foster parents and then getting the message that Alanna still thinks of them. Oh, and good job with having everything needed for a story in just over a thousand words.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
709
709
Review of Accidental Hope  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


I like how you have your own signature poetry. By this I refer to your ability to match ideas and use rhyme to stress your feelings or thoughts. This is exactly what poetry should do. You usually do this in couplets. Which happens to be my style of poetry. I hope you keep cranking out those poems. Write on.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
710
710
Review of `The Commoner  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Once again; great work! The first two lines express such a profound idea. It appears that you could be pointing out an idea in a metaphor. "Common fool" could be the average conditioned Joe shaped by society to be mindless and subservient. Likewise "school" could be society. You're so good at poetry and I'm surprised that you don't have a single poetry merit badge. So I'm gonna give you one. Write on! I also encourage you to join my group. I think allot of us would love your work.
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Review of A Moment's Trial  
Review by brom21
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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I love the flow and how everything fit just beautifully like a priceless decked ring. I find this term to be perfect in description. I love how every line builds upon the previous line especially within stanzas. I'm going to reiterate the perfect rating that the last reviewer gave. I'll certainly review your other works.


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
712
712
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Another great message filed story. One thing that I look for is a story being able to be followed. Your stories are simple to do so. Some parts sounded clichéd. In my opinion you over used Emily crying. I also feel that the ending was not original enough. Don't get me wrong it was beautiful but I think you could have done something better. Well I hope you enjoy being a part of WDC for yet another year. This review was just a congratulations. Write on!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
713
713
Review of A Change in Faith  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I love it when I come across a fellow believer. I hope God uses this story. This piece was very touching. I like the symbol of the dove. To me it's kind of like the Holy Spirit convicting him as he does to all people. He seemed like such a good sensible kid that I'd think he would have already accepted Christ. Oh well. Great read my friend.


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC


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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

This reminds me of the pictures I've seen of grey skies and misty grass plains of Ireland. It looks like it would be so peaceful to live there. I think the very origin of pixies and leprechauns came from this part of the world. Anyway I loved the joyful emotion in the midst of the serene environment. The ending was simple and fitting too. Great read!


The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
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Review of Life of Denial  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Addiction is do sad. This dilapidated town reminds me of a graveyard haunted with lost souls. Everywhere you,look your are reminded of the dark side of life. Thank God I've never done drugs. Unlike the case in this story I think allot addicts are wealthy. BTW I got confused by what you meant by "pounds." Then I realized it was British money.


{bitem"1693553}
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Review of Tomorrow  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Short but sweet. So this poem is about how things change over time? I really liked the last two lines-very beautiful. In what way was this revisited place so much more special? Forgive me if I mis something entirely. I haven't been doing reviews lately. The reading and feedback process is a little lethargic.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
717
717
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

It's sad how people look for fulfillment in others who are faulted and can let down. The women in this story takes her happiness for granted when she lets Robert spoil her with material things. Also, what became of the women and the gardener?

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
718
718
Review of Cupid's Stage  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

What good suspense and detail! I could clearly see every one. It was easy to follow too-something that I look for in stories. Where did you get your inspiration? It was really creative. I think there could be a moral to this story-when a scary man greets you with an unsettling attitude and you see warped out pictures that seemed so real even before they came alive, LEAVE! Great read.

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
719
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Very good look into the mind of a destitute man. It's fortunate that he never contemplates suicide. When people plummet as far as he did, the situation makes or breaks the individual. Some turn to God and find fulfillment there or on the other hand they torment themselves and make self destructive and rash decisions like his decision to get a divorce. So many people live like this day to day. Have you ever felt this way?

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
720
720
Review of Oil Field Class  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


Hey, man. I just read your journal and I can see the Buddhist concepts reflect in your tone and in your actions. I had a Buddhist friend who was interested in the Bible. I basically told him God's own precepts concerning the eight fold path, four noble truths and the basic goal of achieving Nirvana or non-existence. I researched his ideology to better understand his views. He was from Sri-Lanka and was of the Theravada discipline. One thing I talked to him about was what God's word said about reincarnation. The scripture I used was from one of the apostles. It reads "for men it is appointed to die once and then judgment." Forgive me I forget which verse it is and I may have paraphrased. I'm happy for you that you're more satisfied with your new job. I was in retail as a bagger at about th age of six-teen. Dealing with the public can be a drag! Oh, and if you don't have a computer I suggest you save up and get one. It's an invaluable medium. I like reading journals mainly because it's real emotion. Anyway, I congratulate you on another year at WDC! Blow out your candles and make a wish!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
721
721
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie



Very beautiful and effective personification of the concept of emotions. I really like the l the fourth line that says-"Obviously they don't know their own daughter-.To me it expresses the nature nurture idea where emotions are things that
situate us into what we are. In effect your poem expresses how they are both. Confusing idea, but emotions can be confusing.
Most importantly I wish a happy WDC birthday!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
722
722
Review of The Ebony Secrets  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Where did you come up with this premise. I'll credit you with one thing-you have originality. I liked the patient, wise and benevolent complacency of Solomon Kovacs. One other thing I recognize is your ability to make enticing endings with twists. This ending was much clearer than your last one I rated. I wish you a happy new year!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
723
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Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

There are a number of typos in your short story. I've pointed out a few. There may be more.

With the bellow sentence tell us what he thinks
"Toma thought."

"inteligence" should be "intelligence" with this one.
"I took way their inteligence!"

For this part you should have written "I will, give myself time."
"I will, give me time."

"gettnig' should be "getting"
"You look well, are you gettnig the power you need."

I take it you didn't re-read your story-doing so will correct these errors.

Now for the good stuff. You did a good job of inserting a hook at the end of your chapter. This surprise catches me off guard and makes me curious about what will follow. Secondly, this was very creatively made. Try illustrating more feelings of the characters. This honestly has the potential for a great story. Happy WDC b-day and congratulations on your fourth year of membership!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
724
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Review of The Book  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

Very good analogy. It fits so perfectly. It's a good illustration about someone who wants closure to a relationship and to stop playing with that person's emotions. It must be hard to have such fragile heart tampered with. What's this kind of poetry called?
I hope you have enjoyed another year with WDC!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
725
725
Review of Dawn's Ghost  
Review by brom21
In affiliation with The Coffee Shop for the Fantas...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie

What a lovely story! You really evoked emotion and made me empathize. At first I thought the ending was going to be sad but I'm so happy it wasn't. I think it's hard to make a short story where you so deeply effect the reader. As far as suggestions, I have none that I can think of. It's great just how it is. Very nice read! I wish you a blessed WDC birth day celebrating another year. I hope you like my GP b-day gift!

The Coffee Shop for the Fantasy Society  (E)
The best fantasy writing group ever! We won Best Fantasy 2012! CLOSED TO NEW APPLICANTS
#1693553 by Matt Bird MSci (Hons) AMRSC
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