I just read your poem Wisdom Tree and it brought a smile to my face and gave me an uplift in an otherwise bad day. I like it much and it's well written.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
Just finished reading your tale Journey's End. It grabbed my attention. You've given just enough information to peek the reader's curiosity. I hope you plan on lengthing this tale. What's X-treme Living? Why did this group or person kill seven rich guys and lay them out in a circle? How were they killed?
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
Your tale Pandora's Box is well written. The details of the saleman make me see him in my mind's eye. I only wish there was more to this little tale. Do you plan on lengthen it?
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I just read your tale, Burned. Great job! Margaret turning out to be a hitman caught me totally by surprise. Like Mr. Devoe, I thought she was a gusty reporter looking to get ahead in the news game.
Your details about Margaret being uncomfotable and a bit impatient show both quite well.
The first sentence makes me wonder what the guy is up to or what did he do that he feels the need to run.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I just read your Shadow in the Hall and like your take on things that go bump in the night. This story makes me think of things I wish I could change if I had a chance.
I can see the house, kitchen and the clown. Your description gets the job done.
Bravo! Your story, Family Secret brought tears to my eyes even though I knew Garuda was a phoenix.
Have you ever thought about writing a book? This could be the beginning of a novel. You could tells us about all of Garuda's rebirths and where the bird orignally came from.
If this is a beginning of a story or novel fantastic. You have my undivided attention. When the sprightly young man appears dressed more for a formal event I just know something mysterious is about to happen. The scene inside the circus tent is well defined that I can actually see Andrew sitting there wondering what's going to happen next.
You have a good beginning for a story. I'm one of those reader who likes to know the main character's name within the first paragraph. Who is the main Character? Shyma or Tyllie? I like the names. They're unusual yet pronounceable.
It might be nice to replace a couple of the she's with the main character's name.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
You have a great beginning of an interesting murder mystery. I like the fact that you went in a different direction to learn the identity of the young woman, yet the following passage is a bit confusing with three he's in the same sentence. After rereading it I knew what you meant.
He had explained to Joseph a bit more about what went on in the lab but he didn’t want to admit that he had only followed about half of what he was saying. Friedman was still pondering over his proposal but it seemed that he approved.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
Wow! What a creepy story. It held my attention all the way through. I can see Janet searching the house and the look of dsbelief as Norm tells her about what was rumored to have happened in the barn. The mirror painting is also very visible. Great job on the details.
I enjoyed reading your story & it brought tears to my eyes when Alexander lost his new friend, Melvin. Using the word new over and over was a bit jarring. Yet your descriptions of Whisper, Chase, Bob and Melvin made them come to life for me. I thought it very clever at how Melvin and Alexander took care of Melvin's mischievous cousins.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
I really enjoyed reading your story. The descriptions of Gretta, Corby & Droleen made me see them as if I was there. You caught me off guard by what happened to Gretta after making her wish. I thought something really bad would happen to her. Instead she lost Corby and seemed happier. This made me a bit sad, that she'd reather lose Corby than change just a little for him.
Keep unleashing your imagination and let it fly where it may.
i loved the rich details. i could actually see the watering hole & imagine the tiny men chasing Joe & his friend. in one place i noticed an extra word that didn't seem needed. in another place i noticed this: The man then repaired to the local saloon. did you mean retired or am i missing? or is it a local way of saying things?
this reminded me of a lost love of mine. it brought tears to my eyes. the story runs smoothly except in 2 places where it shifts scenes without warning. the first spot being beween The elegant hand fell to the side, lifeless.
Balthazar sat in his study, his eyes bloodshot and vacant. His study was dimly lit and books were scattered
and the second lace being Yes, he would search for Arcadia, wherever she was.
Somewhere, somehow, thousands of worlds from Balthazar's world, a young woman with golden blonde hair lay in bed, her hair fanned out on the pillows while her pure white blankets partially covered her in a haphazard way.
this grabbed my attention from the start. i can see the characters as if they were right in front of me. the stop came alive with the vivid descriptions of the way the tables looked, the security glass to protect the human barkeep. the lead character Athenais stands out as a no nonsense type of person, willing to kill to get what she wants. since i've never reviewed anyone's writing before i'm not sure i see need for improvement. this chapter held my attention & i'd love to see the next chapter.
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