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376
376
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "The Toilet Paper- Paper"  by Bunny Sox

Does the title describe the story? Great title for this informative article.

What is the style? Informative article.

Are there 3 genre listings? Cultural, Folklore, Technology

Does the opening line grab my attention? A good opening however it could be stronger to better grab the reader's attention.

Is the structure good for the reader? Nicely constructed article.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Bunny Sox, thank you for sharing this informative article that I ran across while random reviewing. It is a good read.

Today most people do not realize that toilet paper itself has not been around that long at all.

This article is well written and very informative.

A good idea for this article most people enjoy knowing the history of a product.

If I had to make a suggestion: Consider a stronger opponent to grab the readers attention quick. Although the structure is good a bit more line spacing would not hurt to make it easier and less intimidating for the reader.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






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377
377
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "QUINTANILLA \PEREZSELENA/UNA"  by Captbike

Does the title describe the story? A good title that somewhat describes the contents of the story.

What is the style? biographical true story.

Are there 3 genre listings? Other, Biographical, Activity

Does the opening line grab my attention? A good opening however could be stronger to grab the reader's attention.

Is the structure good for the reader?A good structure. More linespacing would make it a bit easier for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Nicely written and very informative article.

I have heard of the death that ended her career. This is the first account of the aerobics story that I have heard.

Captbike, thank you for this informative article. I enjoyed this knowledge.

If I had to make a suggestion:Consider a stronger opening to better grab the readers attention. A bit of line-spacing would make it easier and more appealing to a reader.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






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378
378
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My impressions of:"The White House Against Minorities"  by Anna Mare Carison.

Hi Anna I came across this article while random reviewing. I'm gonna say I'm pretty much in complete agreement with everything you said.

Politics indeed is a sore subject that personally I try to just stay away from because everybody has their own view and there's no changing it that I can do. Well that's my mind set, it might be wrong but indeed it is a sore subject.

It seems that you can take any good person with good intentions elect them to office and in no time flat there a politician and forget all that brought them to office.

In this well written article you hit many good points that are absolutely true.

Anna, thank you for Sharing this strong article it has got my mind to spinning.

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#1300305 by Maryann
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379
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

My impressions of: "Fantasy World Build To Be Named"  by diademedaid

Does the title describe the story? This title works for this unique Sci-fi adventure tale.

What is the style? Sci-fi fanfictiod outline.

Are there 3 genre listings? Fanfiction, Folklore, Sci-fi

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening for this work.

Is the structure good for the reader?Nice structure, easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:diademedaid, thank you for sharing this unique sci-fi outline. It has given me ideas. :)

A great job for this detailed outline, I feel sure you will find it most useful for probably a series of chapters and stories.

I really like the idea of "Electricity Possession".

A well thought out and written outline that I'm sure will result in an epic adventure.

KEEP WRITING.


If I had to make a suggestion:None

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




380
380
Review of Father  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hi Wanda Jayne I came across this deep emotion filled poem while random reviewing.
Thank you for sharing this strong work of art. I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Father"  by Wanda Jayne.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A great job! This realistic poem express's your words
with a true tone. A great flow. Beautiful rhyming scheme.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:With an artistic voice your words paint a clear picture for this reader.

I feel that the most Readers will be able to relate well to this poem as I have.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I could find no problems with the mechanics grammar or spelling. Well done.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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381
381
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Hi JCosmos I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Down in the Dirt poetry"  by JCosmos

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Great work, this collection of poetry is awesome.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: my name , it is nobody .... I like this poem the best I think.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: naturally no problems at all with the mechanics . JCosmos, thank you for sharing this strong work of poetry this Reader has thoroughly enjoyed it .

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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382
382
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

Hi elisabeth I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "a death long since forgotten"  by elisabeth

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A short para normal story about a dark mysterious place, a nursery in an abandoned old farmhouse.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: Well described, this story paints a picture for me of a baby bed in a haunted room filled with evil spirits. In a few words this short story says a whole lot.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Well done, this unique story sets its own boundaries.

Elisibeth thank you for sharing this powerful story. It has got my head to spinning.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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383
383
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

My impressions of: "Chapter 037: Monsters and Maidens"  by Troyizem

Does the title describe the story?

What is the style? Mythological fantasy drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Fantasy, Action/Adventure: By listing all three genres your work will be easier to find by more browsers that are browsing for this type genre.

Does the opening line grab my attention?The opening lines do grab my attention.

Is the structure good for the reader?A nicely structured tale. Easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Troyizem, thanks for sharing this fantastic tale. I have enjoyed reading it.

Good strong characters sharing good realistic dialog, this keeps the characters believable and likeable. This helps keeps this reader's attention.

Well described details that make it easier for this reader to see the scenes and get into the story-line.

A unique and entertaining adventure with plenty of action that keep's this reader's interest.

" You just stuck it on your head without wondering what it did?" this type of dialog keeps the story tone very realistic, keeping the readers attention and drawing him more into the story. A great job.

A good ending leaving just enough mystery to make the reader want to know more.

If I had to make a suggestion:This is a great story. Just for the sake of making a suggestion a good proofread and edit never hurts.

Kudos! A great job! Well done Troyizem.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






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384
384
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "Through the Forest Through the Trees"  by Gman

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this work.

What is the style? personal philoposhy

Are there 3 genre listings? Spiritual, Self Help, Adult

Does the opening line grab my attention?The opening line does get my attention.

Is the structure good for the reader?The structure would be easier for the reader if it was double spaced and maybe a extra line at the end long paragraphs.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Gman, thanks for sharing this deep philosophy I have found it a joy to read.

In life we all get fed up at different times, I feel that most people can relate to your words I know I can.

This is a strong and deep work. Well laid out and well worded.



If I had to make a suggestion:Consider line spacing and perhaps double space, this will make it easier for the reader.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




385
385
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

Hi St. Francis II, I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Rapping of the drum"  by St. Franciss II

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Da dum da dum da dum- A unique tone for this poem. A random rhyming pattern that works well for this poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:Well laid out and worded stanzas slowly leading to the last two, which caught this reader a bit unprepared. I can picture a dark quite town.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:This poem
carries an original flow.

St. Francis II, thanks for sharing this deep poem, I have enjoyed reading it.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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386
386
Review of Big Yellow Moon  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

My impressions of: "Big Yellow Moon"  by Winchester Jones

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this story.

What is the style? Personal drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Contest Entry: Even though a contest entry this story would be available for more browsers if all 3 genres are used.

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening, however it could better grab my attention.

Is the structure good for the reader?Well structured. Easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Winchester thanks for sharing this unique story. It is a good read.

Well-written and worded with good descriptions that make it easy to picture the scene.

A nice ending.

If I had to make a suggestion:Consider a stronger opening. To catch the readers attention from the start.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




387
387
Review of The Job  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

My impressions of: "The Job"  by Abby Gayle

Does the title describe the story? A good title.

What is the style? Fantasy sci- fi adventure drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Action/Adventure, Business, Career

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening that does get my attention.

Is the structure good for the reader?A nicely structured story, easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Abby Gayle, thanks for sharing this unique story, I have enjoyed reading it.

A good idea for this original and unique style sci- fi drama.

Well-written story with good descriptions. This helps the reader picture the scenes.

Strong character that is very likable. Good dialog well worded and placed. This helps the reader to get into the story better.

This story has a good steady flow.

A bit of mystery at the end that leaves this reader wondering.




If I had to make a suggestion:None

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




388
388
Review of Vernal Equinox  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Hi m.alice I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Vernal Equinox"  by m.alice

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well-written free verse poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:Strong emotional poem. We learn by trial and error this poem describes a learning experience.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:Nicely structured and worded poem.

m.alice, thanks for sharing this well worded poem, I have enjoyed reading it.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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389
389
Review of The Last Act  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)

My impressions of: "The Last Act"  by brom21

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this story.

What is the style? Mythological fantasy drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Fantasy, Environment, Emotional

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening. Could be stronger to grab attention.

Is the structure good for the Reader?Great job with the structure and dialogue this makes it very easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion: brom21, thanks for sharing this entertaining tale. I have enjoyed reading it.

Well-written tale with great descriptions and detail. This helps the reader to get into the story better.

Strong characters speaking with realistic dialogue for each one.

Well described action keeps this story moving with a good pace while holding the readers attention.

This is a strong story with a great flow that held this readers attention great.


If I had to make a suggestion: Consider a stronger opening line to catch the reader's attention faster.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
390
390
Review of Timber  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
My impressions of the poem:"Timber"  by Kevster

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A well-written poem with a nice rhyming pattern.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: Good descriptions I can picture Timber.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Nicely structured poem with a nice flow.

Kester, thank you for Sharing this unique poem, this reader has enjoyed it .

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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391
391
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

My impressions of: "Is This Thing On? (1st Place)"  by BScholl

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this story.

What is the style? Inspirational drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Inspirational, Activity, Philosophy

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening, how ever it could better draw my attention.

Is the structure good for the Reader?Nicely structured. Easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:BScholl, thank you for sharing this work has been a joy to read.

My favorite line--The past is now written in stone--

A well written and nice article. Reads like it could be and true story. Well done.


If I had to make a suggestion:None.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




392
392
Review of Fugitive  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "Fugitive"  by Beholden

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this story.

What is the style? Sci-fi fantasy drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Steampunk, Fantasy, Philosophy

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening line, however it could grab my attention better.

Is the structure good for the reader?Nicely structured, easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Beholden, thank you for sharing this deep story, it has been a joy to read.

A well-written story constructed in a good timely fashion.

Good characters, I like Kate and found her to be a realistic character.

Good dialog that helps the reader get into the story.

A good ending that leaves the opportunity to expand
the story-line into more chapters.


If I had to make a suggestion:Consider a stronger opening to grab the readers attention quicker.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






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393
393
Review of I am Beautiful!  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi happy to write, I came across this beautiful poem while random reviewing. Thank you for sharing this work this reader has thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

My impressions of the poem:"I am Beautiful!"  By Happy to write.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: This unique poem is very strong the emotion can be felt while reading it.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: "I am beautiful because" A great idea for this strong work.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: This poem moves in a nice timely fashion giving it a unique flow.
It is funny how our weaknesses do make us stronger.
Well-worded with a realistic learning tone. Humans learn from trial and error, always have all through history.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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394
394
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

My impressions of: "Confessions of Calus"  by kc

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this adventure story.

What is the style? mythological fantasy drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Action/Adventure, Fantasy, Political

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening line however it could grab my attention better.

Is the structure good for the Reader?Nice structure however a little more lines-spacing would help the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:KC thank you for Sharing this is awesome adventure tale this reader has enjoyed it.

Well written story with strong character and good dialogue.

Good descriptions that help the reader to visualize the scene.

Seems like a good introduction for an on going adventure book.


If I had to make a suggestion: Consider experimenting with a stronger opening line and more of a cliffhanger ending to make the reader want to turn the page. Double spacing with an extra line break between some longer paragraphs would make it easier for the reader and more appealing for the browser.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






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395
395
Review of The Bank of Ganga  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "The Bank of Ganga"  by Ameliorating

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this work.

What is the style? Philosophic personal drama.

Are there 3 genre listings? Nature, Experience, Philosophy

Does the opening line grab my attention?A nice opening line.

Is the structure good for the Reader?A nice structure. This makes it easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Ameliorating, Thank you for sharing this unique celestial story. This reader has enjoyed it.

This well-written story reads much like a free verse poem. From this story a nice poem could be written.

A lot of good philosophy and descriptions here however it could confuse most of today's readers with their short attention span. They don't like going back to reread to see if they missed anything.

I went back and reread and to me it's still reads more like free verse poetry. I like poetry but was expecting a story. I know from personal experience the river does inspire creativity.


If I had to make a suggestion:Consider a stronger opening that's not quite as wordy. A good proofread and edit never hurts. Personally I feel this story could be shortened without losing any of the message. It seems to crowded with descriptions. That is just one opinion.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
396
396
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "Pan-G Britain Cups And Domestic Football"  by Wrexgor

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this article.

What is the style? Sports opinion article.

Are there 3 genre listings? Sports, Other: By listing three genres your work will be found by more people who are looking for that genre.

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening line.

Is the structure good for the Reader?The structure would be easier to read with line spacing.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Wrexgor, I came across this article while random reviewing. Thank you for sharing it it is a good read.

A well written article and I would agree with most all of it.

If I had to make a suggestion: consider double spacing and maybe making the font bigger. This will make it easier for the reader.

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




397
397
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi elisabeth, I came across this artistic poem while random reviewing.
I hope you find my impressions helpful.

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:"I want to be loved by an artist"  by elisabeth.

A nice artistic flow from this free verse poem.
Well structured, this helps the reader get into the poem.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:" the fingers that entwine perfectly with their own." this is my favorite line.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Well-worded giving this work that unique artistic flow.

Elisabeth, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem it has been a joy to read.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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398
398
Review of Opherin--a ballad  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
My impressions of the poem:"Opherin--a ballad"  by Ryyssa

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:Well-worded with a nice unique rhyming pattern. Nicely constructed with a musical tone.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:A mythological theme that works great in this poem.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: Nicely constructed especially considering 80 lines, well done.

Rhyssa, thanks for sharing this entertaining poem, it has been a joy to read.

Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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399
399
Review of Taking Stock  
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)

My impressions of: "Taking Stock"  by Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love

Does the title describe the story? A good title for this essay.

What is the style? Personal advice essay.

Are there 3 genre listings? Inspirational, Other: By listing 3 genres more people looking for something to read in that genre will be able to find your work better.

Does the opening line grab my attention?A good opening line that does grab my attention.

Is the structure good for the Reader? Nicely structured article that is easy for the reader.

My two cents worth is only one opinion:Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love, Thank you for sharing this work, it is a good read.

Well written essay with a lot of good advice.

Well worded and structured, this makes it very easy for the reader.

If I had to make a suggestion:None

Thank you for sharing your work; that is a major step in writing.

WRITE ON! GOD BLESS YOU. Keep writing!

Joseph

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#1300305 by Maryann




400
400
Review by Joseph
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

My impressions of the poem:"Tell Me About Your Heart, Please."  by p.b.sandwixh

Clarity: A good title for this poem.
Style: Relationship poetry.

My 2 cents is only one opinion: p.b. sandwixh, thank you for sharing this unique poem. I have enjoyed reading it.

Well-written poem that is both emotional and humorous,
those two are hard to combine. Well done.


Write on! Keep on writing!
JosephOfficially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

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#1300305 by Maryann
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