Chilling. You chose just the right words to depict a situation that doesn't sound like sci-fi to me. It's a nightmare that so many people seem to be willing to accept.
I try not to be pessimistic and still hope that greater awareness will make us stop and choose what we want to consider as progress and differenciate it from what turns the human race into hi-tech zombies.
Great thought-provoking item and wonderful illustration.
This is not a new item and many memebers seem to have read and reviewed it.
I don't have much to say, except that the topic is extremely interesting and that I would recommend it to everyone.
Copyright laws and violations is a very complex subject and I think you did a great job with the examples you analysed here. Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts.
This is a vey pleasant read. I always enjoy a little bit of satire linked to politics. It's refreshing way of speaking one's mind.
This one's well thought out, well worded. I really love this line, so true:
"Leftovers in pocket, a bridge to nowhere".
And your last stanza is pretty effective.
This madlib took me some time, it has quite a number of blanks to fill in before one can see the result.
But it was certainly worth it. I'm always glad to come across a good madlib - which doesn't happen very often - with definitions that are clear and a real story.
This is really a good read and the whole story is coherent with a few unexpected and funny details.
I found this one in your port. There are so many items in there, I think I will spend more time there in a couple of weeks, when I can sit and relax .
This short poem is very lovely and sincere. I like its inherent simplicity, which is also a way to write a good poem. There is something refreshing, although the subject is pain. I can easily see the hope and positive thinking behind your words.
These pieces are excellent. Writing for choldren is more difficult than it seems and I believe that they deserve well written, well thought out poems too.
The pieces you wrote are very easy to visualize, which is a great quality and they could work well with illustrations too.
In my opinion, the first too are meant for younger children (four-five years old) and the third one, for slightly older (six-eight).
This is a poem that shows the complexity of a relationship and analyses it with some original imagery and interesting perspective.
Unfortunately, some parts are very confusing and the links between some ideas are missing.
- There are a few lines I don't understand:
"He ran way at twelve at five"
"Yet traveling its being on the run"
- There are also some mistakes: "blacked"for "blackened",
"non" for "none"...
The idea expressed at the end of your poem is very good. I would advise you not to repeat the word "blind" three times. Those three lines are really worth re-editing.
I hope this has been helpful and I'm ready to read and rate again if you decide to work on it and need me to read it again.
This is a simple piece of writing. It is short, not very sophisticated, but very generous. The intention of this little poem is what I really like and I understand and appreciate what you explain in your item description.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a whole collection of similar practical and inspirational pieces?
Thank you, M C Gupta for writing once again with crystal-clear simplicity. Your poem is another example of beauty that carries an essential message and I always feel privileged to discover your work.
The content of this poem is very close to the kind of questions and thoughts that I began to have at the age of thirteen. I was brought up by a very modern Muslim family in Italy, where I attended a Roman Catholic school. No wonder I had such thoughts. I then came to a conclusion similar to yours over the years.
It is a great idea to have included a reaction and your comments; the scientific approach is an insightful complement to your poetry. Both are excellent tools against bigotry.
This item in your port looked very intriguing to me. It was like an invitation and I didn't hesitate; I joined in the dancing/reading!
Combining prose and poetry is what you call this. I don't know much about the terminology, but I like the "combining" part.
These pieces are all very visual; they have this characteristic in common. They are like miniatures made of words.
The second one is my favorite; it is the one that will surely linger in my mind, maybe because I can relate to the situation very easily.
But they are all excellent pieces of writing, really.
I'm glad I came upon this item. (I dont' give many five-star ratings). Keep up the great work.
Although the title doesn't really reflect the content. in my opinion, this short piece is nicely worded. I think that the reader is able to visualize the picture.
I also think that the main reason for this contrast between title and content is due to the realistic feel of the statement:
"The Deceased Are Loved"
whereas the content shows a woman, described as a beauty, veiled in black, carrying white roses in the graveyard. It's a dark romantic image that is quite fashionable among teens these days. Nothing to do with reality.
This kind of imagery has indeed become very common in mangas, for instance. Which is the reason why I have the impression that it would be great if you tried to find your own imagery and words to convey loss and love. Make your writing more personal and unique, I would say. But of course this is just a personal opinion and my perception of four lines and a title, so please consider this as an impression I wanted to share.
The idea behind your poem is an interesting and intriguing one. I think that there are many ways in which one can relate to this. It's the way we all sometimes act or communicate.
I agree with you; your message is powerful. Maybe your layout could be improved; I think that this short poem would look/feel better if you gave it more space.
The first line is a puzzle, though:
"Except what I can not say"
as all the other lines start with a verb:
"Understand what I do not mean
Reach out for my withdrawn hand(...)"
I think that maybe you mean:
"Accept what I cannot say"
Overall a good poem indeed, but I am not sure I understood the very first line.
This is such an interesting piece of writing, an essential read for those who write and review poetry.
I see that you wrote this some time ago and I'm sure that many authors read this short item. I hope that many new and not so new members will read it, because this will certainly make them think and maybe reconsider the way they review poetry.
"Give 100 poets the same 100 words to work with and you will get 100 unique poems"
Reading this page gives me so much to think about.
First of all, I greatly admire writers like you, Gabriella, who can come up with wonderfully generous ideas like this one. It sounds so simple and effective, yet I would never have thought of a project like yours. I have to say I envy you for this(in a positive way).
I also think that all those who sponsor this activity are doing a great job and they surely know the meaning of this simple verb: to share.
This is why, without hesitating, I'd recommend visiting this page to all those who like writing, reading and sharing on this site.
I particularly like the "going going" used as a framing device, with a little twist in the end. It's a piece of writing that speaks of death, but I also find it amusing, maybe a little ironic, I don't know.
This is a great, colorful poem that I really enjoyed. It has a particular rhythm of its own, which makes it personal. At the same time, the content is full of enthusiasm and humanity that are successfully conveyed.
I would use at least some punctuation here, but of course, it's up to you.
This is a poem that I decided to read, attracted by the title.
I found some interesting ideas and truths expressed in your poem and I think that this is the kind of subject - "The elaborate lies we weave" - that everyone can relate to.
I do have a problem with this kind of repetitive structure, though, because I can hardly feel the poetic aspect in its rhythm, flow and imagery. It's just my personal opinion, of course.
I'm sure you could try to express these ideas with words of your own.
There are also good examples, a few lines where you have expressed ideas in a more personal an striking way:
"It is the outwardly innocent and inwardly scheming"
"It is how aneorexic teenagers percieve themselves".
Overall, I think that this poem is interesting and deserves more work; I hope you will find this review helpful.
This is a great poem for its content, first of all. I don't remember reading a poem that speaks of the end of a relationship in a similar way. Yet, although this isn't so common, I do think that it happens and I can relate to the feelings described.
With a particular and pleasant flow and just the right words, this piece of poetry has a nice form to enhance its content.
I think you should add a period after "whisper", just before the last line.
This is a very interesting subject for a poll. I usually enjoy polls on writing and the creative process, so I took this one.
I can see that this was created some time ago, but not so many members answered it, which is why I decided to make this a public review.
My only suggestion: to add something as: - "Only when I'm inspired" to make the difference between a more disciplined, organized way of writing and one that depends entirely on inspiration.
Good luck with this interesting poll.
Axilea.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/axilea/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/20
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.61 seconds at 7:38am on Jun 20, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
