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Review of Heavens of Glory  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Pogacsas brings to the table a completed, prolific novel, THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE. Featured on Auto Rewards, page 2, authors can click on this one and see several unsual creatures, breakfasting and coming awake.

Meet Orian this morning with his coffee mug.

Find good details for the "28 man battle ship, A Enga Neyna.

Discover "the Enemy building quicker than anticipated."

Watch for the current Alliance, the Nato of space warriors.

Recap with the Alliance that have gone before.

Incidently, verbs, syntax, grammer contribute to an easily deciphered read in sci-fic genre.

Good Luck with this one, Pog.

Cordially,

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All invited ----
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Review of Starship Sentry  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nov 13, 2k5

Definition --- A sentry: not just third diemensional beings.

Maybe it is of the utmost importance to keep this quasi description in mind when reading STARSHIP SENTRY by J. A. Powell.

From the intro: "A satire of the genre."

The sci-fic genre, that is. Complete with linear reverse, the third dimension, quadrants .... on the Starship Chippewa, the piece follows the exploits of Sentry One, Two and Three.

Waiting in the wings, a puzzle to be solved.

Sorry, Powell, looks likes, sounds like and reads like sci-fic to me.

Best Thanksgiving to come.
Cordially,

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Review of And  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Good morning, Kittie.

Welcome to WC, where reviews abound, fun is behind every click on forums, contest etc.

Your poem AND talks of love found, love embraced. And ... you deliver a personal message with the lines pointing to your emotions throughout.

And is a much overused word in many items here. And a word we can't seem to do without. And that's all for now, luv.

Nice try, keep rhyming.

Cordially, Teff

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#1030559 by Not Available.
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Review of Biography Contest  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)


With this rate, allow a few extra points of OP stars for sheer astonishment.
Allow also, that this revver is already asking herself, is this a spoof?

So Ladies and Gentleman, boys & girls, members, authors, poets and guests the BIOGRAPHY CONTEST is upon us.

No it isn't about the standard highschool essays Ben Franklin or FDR, or JFK but about a hostess named Hidden Chambers.

By her personal notations in an item on her port you will see that this fiesty, go-getter hails from Cleveland.

My first Q as a contestant might be === have you ever met Drew Carey, or been on any of his shows. In order to reach the 5 K word limit, I might hope your claim to fame answer is yes.

Also, if you bend the rules a bit to include celebs, folks can get to the library and maybe without direct interviews hand in a few brightly crafted wins. If you seek e.g. 5 K words on gurj boo from Nov 2005 election fame, the current, seated, US pres, now that I can surely supply, doing the word limit without a fuss.

Other than that, my advise is to re-think this one, hon. And without a doubt there comes to the surface --- Why? in the first place. A dare is a guess. Well, those Cleveland folk always were a bit on the wild side, uh so I hear.

Cordially,

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#1030550 by Not Available.


{c:rose{ Contest looks fine in the presentation. Goes overboard with finesse.

Another suggestion: post this to auto rewards, where you may reel in a few more entries.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)

"Bob Simon pulls Chapter 3: RONNY HAS A CAT off with flying colors.

Billed as a draft, one finds only 2 typos, so there's some editing already afoot.

thesame == the same
spanish === capital S, Spanish

Heather baits whathisname, ouch! In the dialog, Mr. Simon, you forgot to tell the first person narrator's name. Okay, you can reveal it from Heather addressing him by name, natch.

Heather and her co-worker enjoy lunch. Some time elaborately spent on Heather's provacative wardrobe choice for the day and her flirtatious manner.

The hero, the male character (Ronny?) thinks of his new life, his wife and his home.

Will he succumb to Heather's charms?

Read and see for yourselves, members, authors, guests.

Well written. Needs a few tucks on verbiage running on, but fine really.

Four Star appeal. Teff likes this one.

Cordially,

 THE RIPPER RETURNS TO WHITECHAPEL COURT  (18+)
2005 -- FIRST PLACE in Laurencia's WE WANT YOUR STORY CONTEST !
#934458 by April Sunday
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)


Nork, Hey!

Nov 9, 2K5 -------> On the scene with THE POET WHO DOESN'T KNOW IT posted by Norksquad on Auto Rewards.

Now, readers, WC members & guests, attention poets, this one really sings.

Great lines, fast cadence, words well chosen. Hard to top and an enjoyable read.

Happy Thanksgiving a little early, Sir.

Cordially,

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Review of TANYON  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)

As far as prologues go, Mr. Wilson, this is a good one.

It is brief, yet sums up the situation at hand.

It hooks this reader to read more of the resulting novella, link unposted in this item.

The typo is at "he were." Self explanatory for correction. (look who's talking typos. Teff the typo queen, right here and guilty.)

The subject is a touchy subject handled carefully by author, Howard.

The content is firm and delivers.

The Suggestion:

At the end either go with: Work In Progress or To Be Continued. (Only if you prefer, of course.)

Then and only then can Teff be so gallant and very pleased to read on.

And above all else the hook is fantastic!

Thus a four star for criteria of endeavor to explain & bait in a prologue is certainly met.

Hey, welcome to WC. Like your fast-paced style, Howard Wilson, sir.

Cordially,

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Review of Reviewing  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.5)


Your piece on revving is indeed a form of revving that many authors stick too. We rev you, you rev us aside. It is kind of you to rev "each and everyone." I picture you burning the midnight oil like Santa awake past New Year's Eve to get it all done.

A grand undertaking for a new member. So clap, clap, like in Peter Pan, I hope you're not discouraged in anyway for your eagerness is commendable. Good Luck!

Invalid Merit Badge #106323

Did it work?
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Review of Sunet's Finality  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)

Okay, Fiendish, did the old guy take a bullent or shoot supper. Squirel stew, rabbit?

Nice touch though, for: "And a tear cornered his eye." Cause he was aiming, hunting in Oct?

Sunset & beer, age.

Ah, well, they say Teff is No. 17 in Credited Reviewers on PUBLIC REVS, son.
So, a hats off to all author's revved in the week that was, Oct 12 to ???

Say is that Lizzy Lemon down below? Hi Liz! Cute revs are in again. Hohum. Hohum. It's off to rev we come.

All spoofing aside. WHY? Why really. Make a joke. It's easy. What is a good rev. Can it have wit?

God, why not ??????

Have a scary day with fun, Fiend, uh buddy?

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Cordially, Teff goes for the silver.

Esprit's # ONE REVIEWER!!!! Go Esprit!

Help support "MOFFETT FILES TAKE FIVE" 
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)


"He shall in mercy clothe us" is a grabber line from Norksquad's poem, EYE HAS NOT SEE, EAR HAS NOT HEARD.

This poem:

is as pretty as a prayer.

Offers excellent rhyme & cadence.

Features on Auto Reward Page, 11.

Best today, Nork, to you and yours.
Oct. 29! Already! Uh, oh get the candy ready.

Cordially,
Teff

 STORMY WEATHER & HOT DANISH  (18+)
SHORT STORY COLLECTION/ adding former bitems ... from 2006 (etc} Edit Feb 3, 2016
#992418 by April Sunday


Q. Can the main char in this mystery be brought back to life?
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Review of If Been  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)

Cute poem, Fiendish Flip.

"If Been" kinda sounds like a a German sneeze, don't you think? Kidding.

Hey hard to top this line:

"The patter never fails to fall."

Terrifically poetic.

Good presentation --- love the color.
Point made comparing present to past with choices rendered.

Cordially,
Teff
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Dear Poet,
Your poem made me smile. Well down. Love this line:

"There's a wondrous lot of power
In an honest, wholseome smile."

Using wholesome is a very good word choice.

Welcome aboard WC, where fun is sure to be around each and every corner.

Cordially,

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#993645 by Not Available.
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Review of Touched By Love  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (5.0)

Ann Ticipation's poetry is simply wonderful to read.

TOUCHED BY LOVE ... has:

This poet has vocab to die for.
Feelings on every line.
Look and find the meaning of love with:

"Not young lovers now, so very true
Your eyes still melt my heart away."

Thanks, Ann. You're work is always here to depend on for enjoyment, always with a spice of pure bliss.

Cordially, Teff
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


Don Anderson's done it again.
This time with the poem: NOTES TO AN UNKNOWN LOVER. Found on Auto Rewards for all the world to see.

Particularly liked the line about the flowers
"... forgotten
amid the drudgery of daily life."

Good one, Anderson. Say keep 'em coming.

And Happy Halloweeners!

Cordially,

Teff

HOSTING
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)




Welcome to a world gone awry!

When you read:
 The Color of Consciousness  (E)
An impactful tale of morals and identity.
#1025985 by Alex Stone


on Auto Reward's first page, bring along a shield. For this action / thriller, sci-fic consists of graphic blood, sweat & tears.

Somehow the journey in the intro is not identified to a particular main charater. Teff scrolls up & down at least ten times to find the man whose journey is ???

Suggest, Mr. Stone, perhaps include a character list.

Inside a strange asylum where more than one victim is beaten, ridiculed and medicated there appears:

People? Never know with sci/fic. Characters:
#203
#47, a female inmate, Alice
#54
Two guards, first paragraphs
More guards later.
2 doctors with walk on appearances.
Aaron
Alex
Robert
Mr. E
Tom

Okay, listen up, Stone. Any relation to Sharon? Kidding. Let's keep this light.

For awhile Miss Teff ponders if Aaron is a former guard. Maybe yes, maybe no.

Tough read, little headway for the privilege. So, aim ahead with a few choice sentences explaining: why the beatings, why the lost souls cooped up in a place for the "wicked."

Grammer wise, toss any repetitious thats.
For: Sometimes that containment. === No that nec.

The hint of "Strange things had been happening for months now." With overuse of he and she is not helpful in this work. Sorry.

Watch tenses --- had given up === Merely can be: given up.

"To know that these ..." Toss that.

Try: brown eyes following you, please. Save a few extra words. Readers do like fast reads which make sense to them. Again, Teff is on a limb in sheer puzzlement.

"Temptd Alex." is afloat. Add to the dialog here with reg comma & quote. Small t on tempted, convert to one sentence. You'll see it in next edit.

Can save a few ands. "She smiled, braced ..."

For "... he liked to show off ..." switch to muscles shown off. Again these are only corrections or suggestions to apply if YOU find them suitable for THE SICKNESS.

Again, please point out where this is going.

Determine characters part in the story with more than simple paragraph breaks. Dates might be nice, too. Remember, WE can't read an author's mind. So a little time back at the drawing board may work out fine. Hey, let me know if you're coming by. I tend to occupy the "back to the drawing board" thingy myself on many dark and scary nights.
Also, we're not expected to all write the same. However, to retain reader interest: tighten while (perhaps) providing further explanation with a basis to read on. Hook and bait 'em Stone. I already picture you reeling those fish (us) in.

Thanks & good night.

Teff

"Invalid Item" 
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)


Sometimes we come across a piece that is both sweetness and fluff and has a point to make. IN THE DEPTHS OF HER CLOSET by In Pursuit tells of a four yr old gifting a used stuffed animal to a drive for useful things set up for Katrina Relief.

If you ask me: Am I bothered by the loss of the toy? The answer is no.

If you ask me if we should supply frying pans, blankets, towels, etc. Sure. If we like to do so. Cash and homes are much better, volunteer work.

Content of this item is fair.

Content is the crux to judge essays upon.

Better the first person narrator look at environmental causes which increase 'canes.

Fear arises across the land, due to flagrant disregard for Mother Earth we will never return to normal.

Research it, put it into the parent-child flow whenever the occassion suits you or yours, your neighbors, your fellow Americans. Mass. a mess with flooding, Oct.18. Tornadoes now in the Gulf.

Hurricanes are never a Southern thing alone, of course, as all readers know.

Well, this one's just not for Teff. Sorry.

Cordially,

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#982180 by Not Available.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)


Good morning, Prier:

HE IS COMING THIS WAY is an enlightening read, no pun intended. Surely you seem to enjoy this writing venture and the interesting details here are well presented for the Angels.

Seems you overuse seem. Eh, maybe it's okay anyway, clearly up to the individual to re-write, of course.

Two missed typos, seems like ...

to separate

heart that seemed or heart seemingly

Best Autumn Sunday.

Cordially ...

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A TREE FOR IDA QUINCY  (13+)
Friends cut a tree in the Blue Ridge Mountains, NC
#920697 by April Sunday
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Review of And She Was  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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"A conventional tale of a college student's friendship with an unattractive woman." ... so reads the intro for AND SHE WAS.

Teffy figures if she hangs on Read-A-Newbie Page eventually a star emerges, shining light on the craft of writing.

AND SHE WAS is an appropriate title for this daring short story by Clear Distortion.

Clearly, Clear, your skill with the under use of the hated comma is impeccable and WE at WC can ALL learn from this while enjoying the first person character's antics.

Name the broad, is one suggestion to add into this five star story.

The turn of events is spellbinding, because readers like surprises that fit and aren't delivered in a few brief paragraphs. You take the time with the entire kitten caboodle and IT SHOWS.

If there was a TEN STAR ... it is for this MUST READ.

Welcome, Welcome to Writing. Com.

Thanks for this one, glad I found it, read it and, hon, Teff really enjoyed it.

Basically beginning with character details that are nearly flawless!!!

Using a recap/ blow-by-blow, repetitive style here adds to the flow, never disrupts.

By the time I got to "One rolled around" I was completley hooked.

Am also tempted to say, you can sell this one.

Favorite line: "Trying to figure out what just happened was I." Charming!

You must be proud of this for your setting is evident at every turn. Library to bedroom, the city.

Cordially ....

 STORMY WEATHER & HOT DANISH  (18+)
SHORT STORY COLLECTION/ adding former bitems ... from 2006 (etc} Edit Feb 3, 2016
#992418 by April Sunday


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Review of Tears  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Starting out with vivid details of crying with rhymes intact, this author cheers us at the end in the quest for a smile. Now that's poetry all right, always there to make us feel. Here from sorrow to hope. Good job, poet, dearie.

Cordially ......

 TWIN GIRLS / POEMS about Gwin & May  (13+)
Itsby, bitsy spider went up the bedroom wall where two ladies sleep ...
#934432 by April Sunday
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.5)



Hey, Fyn, how goes it?

Listen up now. My son fishes, my daughter fishes. But your poem THE ONE THAT DIDN'T GET AWAY is an angler's delight. Like cotton candy at a circus with these delicious scenes you provide for via setting swimming hazily in the background.

Marvelous. Hey, did you catch anything that morning? Was breakfast sunnies on the half piece of toast. Huh, huh?

Kidding on ... but please listen up, YOU RHYME ON!

God Bless all anglers, our beloved native fishermen.

Cordially,

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Review of A Lovely Feeling  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (3.0)

Forever poems entertains us with a romantic poem. Untitled. Brief, to the point, rhymes well. Perhaps best shared between the loved and the also loved. No suggestion for title, sorry.

Cordially, Teff
797
797
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


THE STONE OF COEL COETH is a well crafted fable containing Celtic flair. This item in Supernatural Genre by Cassie Reynolds, a new WC member, proves once again all new members are not new to writing. In this case without doubt the story keeps one reading. Teff wants to know the outcome of the inheritance. Actually the hook is in the intro. So right away this author gains reader interest.

Teffy can sit here all day and laud present tense for it is my preference to use or read. From the majority of stories on WC present tense seems somewhat shunned. This is very sad.

Why do we give everything we thought of last week or wrote last month a past tense or a past perfect tense? All this baggage really does is rob the story of action zinging along in every sentence.

I refer to had and had been. Oh the curse of corrections until we finally let these despicable hold up words drift out to sea never to be netted again!

Re-reading your first par, one sees present tense can easily be used. Then the action happens as the story progresses, thus moving the story forward.

If past tense is your bag and as writers you insist on keeping the past alive sentence by sentence, do so by all means.

Plus no two or ten writers seem to agree on past or present, either one. Worse the old school of paid by the word is not applied here so never hesitate to drop the hads, the had beens.

Try also to keep a focus point sentence for tense alignments. We fought the American Revoluiton in 1776 ... is one you may borrow free of charge. However, front end alignments are more expensive and time consuming. Sorry.

That said, chronol:

"Tears had been streaming ...
Try streamed or use stream. Stream puts the reader and the writer at Caitlin's elbow, next to the shovel she digs the grave with in the wilds of Florida in 1905. 1905, BTW, is another reason to like this story.

Try sobs wrench (or wrenched) her body.

As an author you can follow the piece to the end, tossing your own hads, etc. These hads are crawling all over the place like clams rolling beneath the bay. Hint here, simply re-read and revise. These are common mistakes, easily rectified.

Now of that. Suppose we read it thusly .... made no sense (that-outa here) she's left alone.

That is a standby we can use for emphasis, a conjunction or going even further a contrast word. A pronoun e.g. Now that is crazy!

A description also. I just despise that style. Thus an article. Sure, many uses for that. Try a quick overview in HODGES HARBRACE HANDBOOK for that and all your future grammer needs, Miss Reynolds. Wink! Good advise for one and all, Teffy most of all. Oh Teff just loves that, the trick being when to use it to the story and enhance a writer's style, namely as an advantage.

So, the main theme for THAT can be to read the work and see if it can be understood by tossing the thats. If so, drop them like hot potatoes in tin foil on a warm summer night.

If you think a sentence sounds better and even need its that, by all means keep the allusive butterfly bandage of syntax.

The last of the tirade on that, Miss Cassie, is just around that corner so be aware of that. That aint whistlin Dixie. Is that clear?

Okay. Your story needs a full time look and re-write for tense and a very deep look at that. That can go which almost any day of the month, be that in Oct or be IT in Nov which is usually rainy.

Digressions aside. The tale of the inheritance is a fine story. The letter from aunt to neice calls out to readers and guests who are either paying attention or not to this old re-re-re-re editor / short story contest winner saying ... Read ME! Read The Stone of Coel Coeth this Samhain Eve.

Thanks! Welcome to WC. Best to you and yours all autumn long, my dear.

Cordially,

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Review of Look to His Like  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


Teff choses the colors of fall in October. KateG posts her c-rite Oct. 5, novel, LOOK TO HIS LIKE also in October to WC's advantage.

Attention: Readers, reviewers, authors, guests, if you crave an upswing in your current vocab, look no further for Austrailian Author, Kate G surely delivers.

Love: usage in proper spots, which tickle the funny bone:

Namely: Ribald, jolly rogers, my surrounds, on the hunt.

"On the hunt" for a husband, readers may immerse themselves in fashion talk, to die for.

Read of a co-worker with "two perfect children in an exclusive day care establishment..."

Enjoy the details re: the "cat, Wolfgang."

Seek for yourselves, dear readers, how a certain law firm frowns on "hardly conformist or tolerable conduct" of the main character's neighbors.

Recap along with: Agatha Frogman (Marvelous name !) a "brothel owner until she found God."

The author may want to re-edit, Chapter One saying on the post equels Chapter Three. But, Teffy sees this is an aside, easily fixed.

GREAT!!! GREAT!!

A true MUST READ, Ms. Kate. WOW-SER!
Not a five star, a true ten star, indeed.

Cordially, T.Teffom

Try this on for size, dear. Deadline change coming for:

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#936894 by Not Available.
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Review by April Sunday
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Dear Sunny Rajpal,

Teff has completed your short story from Aug, 2004, namely: FICTITIOUS DENTIST.
Re-read a bit to be sure, looking for the unwritten part, if any. Tsk, Tsk.

One may assume that any critique meant to aide an author in salvaging any story is in one's best interest. So do not be disuaded by this review, for Teff means you no harm.

Now, this dentist had to reach from crib to crib to ply his pliars, if he is in fact 60. One must attend a school even in Nazi Germany in 1945, well probably not that strict. In otherwords, change the age of dentist.

You start with computer whiz guy, career intact. Fine. Good ploy. Is there a tie-in?

Although Teff is a student of WWII history, never once encountering "brown shadows" on teeth.

Near the story's end, the wife recalls going to the mysterious dentist ... Too?

Still, we will in the next few minutes say betwixt ourselves to correct this story is to save this story.

Personally, when Teff receives a review, she looks at the mark first, the A, the B, the C+. Who doesn't?

Don't abandon the story, Sunny. Ah, the title is wrong. Yes, the word fictitious rolls off our tongues, we use it verbally, but its a bummer to read and spell. Bogus Dentist, Fakir Dentist Dude? Your new choice.

Fictitious means fiction to most of us. Due to small i's looking like small l's the word is also a bummer to read. I use it anyway. I like the word, Sunny. So you decide, here.

Now, please don't say, oh no, where can I hide?

Lot's of times one lets go of a story. This is not the case here. Yet, something seems missing.

The end, hon. Finish the story, Sunny.

Because we know the SS and German National Socialism, Nazis had a favorite symbol.

Sun, use it, say swastika. End the story or some folks out here may be spooked and going WHA!!!

Again, one cannot read between the lines. Swastika obvious, yeah, say it.

Now, the worst thing, Sun, is I have a dentist appointment this very week. (Huh?) Yup. Have the corrections for this fine short story on Teacher Teff's desk, please before 10:00 am, Friday, when I'll be filling out medical forms.

Thanks.
Cordially yours, Teff.

ALL Writers welcome to stop by:

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Review of Lament  
Review by April Sunday
Rated: E | (4.0)


Carrying some weight, a handicappers paridise of a poem with all the lines starting with L.

Like: Old timey feel of the era brought forth from gate to finish.

Good starting line.

Names chosen very well.

Come on down and read some more
About Lady Lorraine and Lady Lenore.

Written for a contest, sporting colors of the blue ribbon, by Fyn.

Nice work, hon.

Cordially, T.Teffom

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#936894 by Not Available.


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