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  My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| No time to concentrate on any one subject, but the head is still grinding out minute thoughts. Like: Someone take away Donald Trump's cell phone. He's got enough secretaries and assistants to handle his correspondence. The leader of the free world (and anyone who wants to be) does not Tweet at any time of day. Quit being a private citizen and act like a leader. Why are reduced fat Oreo's such a disappointment? I should know that they aren't going to come close to the originals. I discovered a Florida avocado blows away a Mexican or California avocado. And they cost the same! For October Prep, some days are harder than others. Since my idea was a last minute premise, the outline has been the hardest part so far. The world building and characterization are the easy parts. I want to remodel my dad's bedroom, but I can't him to cooperate. How do I get him to move to another room, so we can paint, put in new carpet and get a new bed in there? How can I get him to pay for the carpet if I pay for the painting? He deserves a new room after all these decades. I was Employee of the Month for September and was promised a $15 gift card. So what do I have to do to get it? I've reminded them several times. Do I just give up? |
| On an up-note, I am healing from a work injury in which I ran into a steel cart and whacked my shin. After nearly two weeks, the swelling has gone down except for the knot where the blow actually happened. It's no longer hot to the touch which means the antibiotics are kicking out the infection, even if slowly. I'm still limping, and dragging up the stairs, but the constant pain is not as intense. I'm down from 9 to about a 4, occasionally a stabbing 6. Numbers on the scale seem to the way to go with all doctors, clinics, and hospitals these days. I said I wouldn't do NaNoWriMo this year--too much going on. Then nearly at the deadline to start, I had an inspiration while reading a book. It got me excited and kept building in ideas. So I am doing it after all. Actually, I like October Prep because it's such a challenge and gets your brain fired up. On Day 3, I really got fired up and enjoyed the assignment. It wasn't just work. I may be able to relate to this one better than anything I've done so far. Then it got me thinking. Don't we put a little of ourselves into everything we write? Aren't all our fictional characters, even animals, just parts of ourselves? That's a little scary when you think about books you're read by Stephen King, John Grisham, or even Fannie Flagg. Are there really that many people in our heads, evil and good? Is that whey we're writers? To let all the wild characters in our heads and hearts come out to play? Andrew Greely, in The God Game, intimated that we create the characters, then they take over and write their own stories. I can see that I'm going to let some other things slide. Time is so limiting and there is so much to do. Chores await me. |
| I've been trying to get an Avon business off the ground for a year now. The good customers have had their turn at being nice to me and aren't shopping any more. My most regular customer, who loves the products, is getting feeble minded and is too dizzy headed to get out much any more. So she's not buying much. My online business has stopped despite my almost daily social media ads. I have known people who hardly lifted a finger, and customers were begging to buy stuff. They could drop off one book, and it passed around the office, and everyone would use Post-It notes to write what they wanted and the page number. I give away tons of books, and no one wants anything but free samples. I've canvassed the neighborhood and advertised. People tell me it's too expensive. Have they been to Macy's or J C Penny for comparison? Personally, I love the products, especially the skin care. People generally think I'm about ten years younger than I really am, so I'd say they work pretty well. I get lots of compliments on the jewelry, but I'm not hitting the right market. I've got to find another venue. There's got to be a way. I think online is a great way to sell. People actually get their orders faster by not going through me. As long as they use my e-store, I get credit for it. I'll keep trying a little longer. |
| It was a simple incident. I tried to walk around a steel cart, low to the ground, in a narrow walkway. It did not have the handles in the frame, so the steel holders stuck out from the corner. I must have been going faster than usual. I managed to hit my shin right on that round steel corner. I surprised myself with the volume of my voice, calling "Jesus". I'd like to think I wasn't swearing, but praying (in agony). Maybe. I stood motionless leaning on a stack of boxes in the back room of my workplace. My eyes were clutched so tightly that I saw colored stars, the way you always do when you squeeze them tightly. Instantly, my manager was there. He was the one who had left the cart there at an angle, thinking he'd get back before anyone came through. Others came running from further back because I had been so loud.I had to concentrate on breathing, and could barely stand up straight, the pain was so intense. But I thought I'd recover. The boss said that everyone in the backroom did that eventually. He felt guilty about leaving it in the walkway. I got my things and went to the exit door to deposit them. We still had things to do before setting the alarm. The next day I was off, so I propped my feet up most of the day and put on some ice. It was swollen and red and very painful. On the second day I limped into work thinking it would improve. Each night I packed on ice after work every night, but by the weekend it was more painful and the area hurting had spread. So Monday, six days later, (I see a pattern here. I tend to delay medical attention even in life and death situations. This is just a minor one.) I was almost in tears and went to a doctor. True, there was no break. But the abrasion had caused an infection that is spreading. They x-rayed my leg, wrapped it, and prescribed an antibiotic which gives me dry heaves. The remedy is as bad as the problem. So now I'm swigging Mylanta, and I'm still limping. The doctor didn't write "no work", he wrote "light duty", so my boss found light duty and is making me come in tonight. I'm in constant pain, not just when I'm walking. I just want to sit home and be miserable. Who could have foreseen that such a minor incident would become so dreadful and disabling? I have to follow up with the doctor in 4 or 5 days. He said it would hurt that long. Ugh. I give everyone permission to be a sissy and take care of their little boo boo's. You never know. |
| There aren't enough hours in the day, or days in a year, or years in a life. When we're young, we pick up hobbies or pastimes that we sort of leave behind. We think we're going to get back to them, and sometimes we do. If I did all the things I'd like to do, I would need to have a 30 hour day and triple my salary. Now I'm at the point where I have to let go of something. Or do I? I've been seeing an ad for letgo.com. In one, a guy won't give up something because he wants to make a man cave. But his wife wants the space for the kids. She takes a picture of it and posts it on letgo.com, and just like that, there's a buyer, and it's gone. Another has a man getting his wife to let go of the sewing machine, but she says she might take up sewing again. Boom, there's a buyer for the machine. Well, I used to sew. I have several machines. I had sewing goods, and I had my Mom's. My dad forgot about me, and that I lived there now; he gave hers away to charity without my knowledge until afterwards. So much money involved in that. But I still have my machine and my grandmother's. I just don't have time to sew. I'm good at it. I'd like to. But I don't have time to cut out patterns, set up the machine and leave it a day or two with a crazy old man in the house. Then there's crocheting. I'm really good at that. And embroidery. But I've made huge afghans for everyone I know. Doilies are too small for me to see. Fashions that are crocheted are outdated. And there is the time element. You can't read or write or cook or clean or go to work and crochet. And no one wants embroidery any more. I have too many things to fit the walls, so wall decor is out. If I had all the time in the world, no job, someone else to do laundry, sweep, etc., my first love would be to sit and type my thoughts out. They're so important you know. Which brings me to my latest writing project. After saying I would not to Nano this year, but would finish last year's to make it presentable, I had a new spark. I do like the October Prep exercises more than the actual November writing, so I might try after all. So much for fall baking or cleaning out the closets. I really will be working more hours in November, and with the holidays and family, I probably won't actually carry it all the way through this year. I would love to take Tai Chi. And I would like to try to get a temporary promotion at work, which would mean full time for two months, but my dad is getting too needy for me to be away from home that long. Money isn't every thing. And there is a lot of stress with it. Bottom line, I'm not inspired to let go of any of my sewing or crafts tools or goods. I'm not quitting or cutting back writing, or reading. I would gladly cut out cooking and cleaning if it were only for me. And although I don't bake like I used to, I don't want to let go of the rolling pin or the Bundt pans. It's all on the back of my mind, but it's not time to let go yet. |
| I've said it often, and so have many others. You have to be tough to survive getting old. Everything on the body slows up, dries up, creaks, or refuses to co-operate at one time or another, or even all at once. Our balance isn't what it was at 35, no matter how much you dance or jog or practice Tai Chi. Then there's the aches and the pains. But let's not forget the slowness of mind. I've noticed I can keep up with senior Jeopardy better than regular Jeopardy. They respond a little more slowly, although they may know a great deal more. They say it's because it takes our brains a long time to go through the thousands of files to retrieve the right answer. It's not just our brains, but our motor responses, too. It's been proved our reaction time while driving is a tad slower. And of course, our hearing affects our reaction. We have learned to compensate for hearing loss by mulling it over subconsciously figuring out the logic of the sounds we managed to take in. That's why we seniors take a bit longer to answer everyday conversation. There's also the ever present age prejudice from the not so old culture. Employers or hiring managers decide that we can't make changes, that we aren't up to date on technological data, or that we're simply too conservative to work in today's marketplace. We might use up too many benefits, raising the costs, or just be a drag on the younger workers. We have to listen to remarks about not walking as fast or being out of fashion or having a hearing problem (which means we're left out of conversations). If you try to be a friend and show a co-worker how to do a job more efficiently or more thoroughly, you're being stodgy or a fussbudget. I heard a worker say that people over 55 should give up their jobs and let young people have them. (It wouldn't work; they'd then complain about supporting old people still capable of working.) And for women, it's a little worse. Because beauty always matters with women more than men, people want to put women out to pasture sooner. Sure, AARP featured some attractive older women on the front cover of their magazine. But who can afford their spa treatments and plastic surgery? And why should real women undergo the mutilation of their bodies to look like celebrity seniors? Yet those are the models held up for us. No, you can't be a sissy about getting older. You have to have a "thick skin", although your real skin may be thin and crepe papery. You have to hold up your chin and make those regular visits to the doctor's office for you and your spouse or elderly kin, slather on your night cream, and wish that your jowls were not sagging so quickly southward. You tune a deaf ear to the twenty year old who thinks she's going to be chipper and perky forever, and listen to your own voice saying you're smart and experienced and creative. I am tough. I've lived through some bad things. I can take this getting old stuff, no matter how much I'd rather be agile and beautiful. If I have to trade in my outer strength, I'll take the inner strength. |
| Time to get your holiday costume! The masks are on the shelf. Baby clothes that they will wear only once-"My First Halloween"-are on the racks. Decorations and party gear are everywhere. But Thanksgiving things are also out. Christmas catalogs are out. Baby and toddler clothes with Christmas trees and snowflakes are mixed in with winter coats. I hung the autumn wreath on my front door yesterday. The little scarecrows are on my dining room mantel. We're already thinking of holiday plans. This time of year will rush by as always. It seems like it goes faster than any months on the calender. And when Christmas goes by in a whir, I always feel let down, like it came and went and I hardly felt it. We say every year that we're going to simplify, but we don't. Well, some of us simplify in a few ways, but not the ways that mean less work for me. I guess as long as my dad is alive, we will gather at my house, do the gigantic meal and a big tree, with everyone exchanging gifts. Thanksgiving will be a big meal at my house, with me working that night. Halloween is no big deal except for decorating a little. The time still races by. It will be January before you know it. The weather finally cooled off today. The leaves will be falling soon. Time to get a pumpkin. |
| All of us older folks remember where we were or what we were doing when John F Kennedy was shot. The media made it available to us immediately. It was so immense that wherever you were, someone stopped you from work or school to tell you the news. And life just seemed to halt. More of us adults remember the space shuttle disintegrating before our very eyes. We stared at the TV, watching what we thought would be a routine but exciting take-off. Suddenly something didn't seem right. Even the uneducated knew it didn't look right. The reporters didn't know quite what to say. Those lives of the bright and capable were lost in an instant. And it's heart-rending just to remember. Sept. 11, fifteen years ago was another one of those motion stopping days. Bosses stood with their employees listening to the radio, or watching TV news, or reading the Internet for the latest development. It was unbelievable. Could this really be happening? Time seemed to unfold slowly as more bad news just poured in. And the world changed forever that day. Fifteen years later, it seems the world is worse than ever. It's a frightening place where everyone is suspect, no one can be trusted. Two criminals are running for president, and we have to pick the one who we believe will do the least harm to our nation. (We'll agree to disagree.) Yet, the human heart holds onto hope that a better day will come. Peace is a worthwhile objective. By remembering those solemn moments, those dark days, we are not dwelling on the evil in the world. We are refocusing our energy and objectives to live peaceful lives, to practice mercy and justice. Let us not be doormats, or make ourselves vulnerable to the corrupt, but live in peace with all. |
| If you live long enough, you see all the bright shiny new things of today become old, passe, and campy. The kids make fun of TV shows from the 80's that were all the rage of the time. (To tell the truth, I didn't own a TV during much of the 80's, so I didn't grow attached to many shows. I got into the reruns of a few later on.) The fashions, the hairstyles, the make-up were so cutting edge back then, so silly now. Remember mobile phones? The show-off sales people and company execs who had to talk on the car phone in traffic jams were so proud of their technology. They could always be reached because they were so important. The only autos with phones these days are service vehicles, so they can keep the office aware of their whereabouts or get cancellations. There were electronic organizers, followed by Blackberries.Who has them now? All replaced, and rather quickly, too. A lot of the younger adults don't even have land lines any more. I admit I prefer a land line at home. I'd rather have an old-fashioned answering machine than voice mail. I'm still not into texting. I really don't see the purpose of Instagram except for entertainment. I haven't gotten into Twitter, even though I do have an account and a few followers (they want to sell something). When it comes to TV, I like old movies and TV shows from the 50's. Alfred Hitchcock is still great. His shows are timeless. Sometimes the old stuff is the best stuff. I just learned how to edit photos on my i-phone. Someday that will be old hat, but it's pretty cool for now. |
| It's almost time to do another National Novel Writing Month. I can't do it again this year. I have two unedited renditions from the last two years, I still want to finish them, at least to my satisfaction. But this year, I just have too much going on. I don't need one more volume of stuff that's not going any where. I'm only working part-time, 30 hours a week, but I have a home to take care of and regular visitors to feed. My dad is slowly doing less for himself and the yard, and is needing more attention. He fell today and skinned his elbow pretty good; so I spent the afternoon in the walk-in clinic getting him cleaned up and bandaged. I also have a bad back that goes out in a nano-second. At present, I'm not in agony, but I can't bend over or stand up too quickly or pick anything up. I was forcing myself to get my dad through the clinic and back out to the car without moaning or groaning out loud. I also have a lot of responsibilities at church. Teaching older women Bible study is something I've been doing for about 2 months. It takes a lot of prep time. They have a lot of questions. I thought that they'd be giving me answers since they've been at this longer than me, but no. I still have to do extra research to answer next week what they questioned this week. So I will try to do more short writing and edit some old stuff instead of starting a new project. |
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. Isn't it funny how we take things like electricity and plumbing for granted... until we don't have them. Happy for you!
