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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| My makeup thing Is my backup plan To make things right To balance My real vocation As a writer It’s incongruous To think of it But many people Have gigs This is my gig Outside of my main gig But I have other gigs But they don’t pay a shilling But they give me Somehow a way to voice My concerns And I have those who listen And watch Watch for me Watch against me Watch merely To find some way through This Life |
| I've been off the blog for 2 days, it looks like. I haven't a schedule so I don't know when I've last blogged. I've resumed writing my novel but I got clobbered for it. It looks like I'm still being 'punished' for writing. I do not know why the idiots of the ghouls and their followers are eager to make me feel unhappy and sad about writing when writing is a part of me and I want to write, just write, even nothing in particular but write something. It looks like these ghouls are afraid of me. Me? You say. Yes, me. I'm not going to win any wriitng prizes (even though I got some points today) and so I'm rather amused, shall we say, that they are afraid of me and what I might write. If you look at my author central on Amazon, my books aren't doing well at all, or not even getting a cursory nod from the readers that browse them. So it's rather a conundrum, isn't it? They just can't stand that I'm still writing, and publishing my books. Really these gremlins. They can't do a damn thing but well, they've made me sad and made other people in my life sad with me. Those who are my supervisors even in MK are sad with me, or perhaps they make it feel as though they're so learned about the business and it's like they're tossing pearls for those who do the work right. I'm a newbie at selling and so I need some help. But, that's what I need to learn and learn I will. So I write sometimes, and then I get a bit sad, and then I pick up where I left off and do something for my business, then I do the usual everyday things. |
| I've had some meetings today with Mary Kay peeps. The first one went alright. The second one was glitched up by some weird ghoul who didn't think it was necessary for me to join their Zoom meeting but go to the FB page where it was being recorded live. Now I remember that my Sales Director said that the Pacesetters meeting (the second one's title) was for her best buds. I guess I'm not counted as one of her Best Buds. I had to get it 'second' hand from FB. This sort of tier system that Mary Kay is doing isn't a good idea. It makes people feel that they have to do some big deed (like sell a few hundred dollars)) to lift themselves up to some status. I actually got this from the Sales Director - she asked what do we want to reach? A directorship? A red jacket status? So I sent her a Voxer message and asked her what do you have to do to get to Red Jacket? I got her answer - just settle for doing some faces for now. I suppose that was meant to make me feel as though I had a long way to go. Or perhaps to tell me that I'll never get Red Jacket status. Or, to be more kind to that female, she wanted me to not think of trying too hard and just find faces to do. Nevertheless, it's a come down and it seems she's not really encouraging me to try for Red Jacket status. Is she doing a negative sort of stimulus? Tell a person they can't go to Red Jacket status to encourage them to try hard for it? I don't know. Is she playing with my mind? I don't like people playing with my mind. It's either you treat me the way I deserve - with respect and with an intelligence - or tell me I don't belong. |
| I'm thinking of dyeing my hair pink. I had that before and I liked it. |
| Getting ready to join my Mary Kay group on Zoom. Feeling a bit out of sorts. Never had the meeting on a Saturday morning with them before. |
| I had a problem this morning trying to get things done and kept retreating to my room and staying in bed. I recovered well enough and now I'm back on the clock with work. It's a working Saturday. I'm thinking more about resuming The Bridge and wanting my Muse to help with this pivotal scene that I want to write. It's coming along well enough but I am feeling protective of my novel, and wanting it to be just right. As Hemingway said, to write one true sentence. That's what I aim to do when I write. If it doesn't look right, or it sounds a bit hackneyed, or somehow it isn't me or my style, I'm guessing some bastard is trying to go along and wanting the words the way he or she wants it written. I don't like it but that seems to be my lot in my life. |
| Went to run errands. Bright sun. Snow everywhere. A queue at the USPS. Bought some special editions stamps - the Scooby Doo ones. Had a good time. God is GOOD. |
| I awoke to the noise of the fierce winds outside my window. I heard something on my roof and I felt scared. I do not have any money to repair any damage to my roof. I asked My God to help me so that I can figure out how best to care for my 17 year old house. My stepfather has no money either and both of us are on a fixed income. |
| I'm in need of reviewers of my books. I have several author copies of a few of my books. Please help me get my books reviewed so that i can get more readers. Message or email me with your request for a free author copy. Thank You. Mary |
| Today was a pleasant day outside. We had our breakfast. Then I had to deliver a MK item to a friend of the family. We got there and did the drop-off and she was ok. She said she no longer does any work (she used to be in travel) and so I got the idea that she might not be buying much from me in the future. It was ok with me. But it did make me feel unhappy that people I've sold MK things to are getting shy about putting in future orders. We left her place and we drove to get me some cigs and then we got back home. I have been lollygagging the rest of the day, thinking of what might be needed in the kitchen for tonight's dinner. We are having leftovers. But because the leftovers are good, it's ok. My Dad cooks really well for what he can afford. I'm liking what he gets from the grocery even though we have a tight budget. We are depending on what income we get from Social Security. So our budgets are always tied to the mortgage and utility bills, and other needed expenses. I hope that someday this MK business will thrive. However, people aren't so receptive to my emails to them. I've sent over thirty emails to people and haven't had much luck except for three people, and these three people aren't that friendly to the MK brand. I hope that their products perform for them so that they'll be inspired to keep going to me for their MK refills and new orders. I've also send newsletters by snail mail to people in the area. Nothing from that. I hope that soon I can hit on the right kind of marketing to make people think of me first when thinking about their skincare needs and makeup choices. I do not know what to do otherwise. Today even though it was pleasant outside I felt the pangs of unkind thoughts that impacted my being. I do not know what will make them stop. I've prayed and prayed and asked My God to help get rid of these unkind thoughts and negative ionic beings so that I can have a peaceful existence and I can do some more writing. I have been able to withstand these unkind thoughts' effects on me and that is a grace from My God. But if I persist on writing my novels and books these unkind thoughts will drill down at me and make me forever sad. They will attack and make me feel sad for a long time and I won't have any time in the day or night to do what I want to do with my writing. So I have to find another job but what job could it be? I can't go to the office and work in it. Those bad unkind thoughts will follow me there and they'll have stuff and their stuff will intimidate me and make me unable to work there any longer. If I were to work for a remote job (thanks to COVID, there are some), then it would help me. I do not have to worry about looking office-ready but I will have to look presentable when the remote boss will ask me something on video conference. I hope that there might be a job like that. However, I'll have to keep looking for something to turn up. It might be another long stretch before I get an email from a recruiter. Guess I'll have to think of something else now. I hope everyone has a great day! Mary |
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