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Things that I think every mom wants thier kids to know |
| This is something that I have been wanting to do for some time. I am not sure how to put all of this together and make it worth reading. Everyone says, " My life is an open book." I'm trying to put my life into a book that might be opened. |
| First, sorry about not blogging yesterday, I was just having a sad day and didn't feel like talking to anybody for anything or any reason. Guess everyone has those days sometimes. I was feeling sorry for myself because all of my kids are grown and the whole empty nest thing. Just not ready to be not needed anymore. But, today is a new day and I am in a better mood. Yesterday was my husband's birthday. He turned 53! I guess he was ok with it this year. Last year he had a mini meltdown about getting old. If he paid more attention to the grandkids ages, he would feel older than he is. I kind of look forward to my next birthday, I'll be 50, half a century, that's pretty awesome if you ask me. Do you remember when you were a kid and thought that it would be forever before you got that old? Do you remember sitting in bed and trying to figure out what year it owuld be when you hit 30? Didn't that seem like it was sooo far away that it would be forever to get to that year? Sometimes, when I think back to those days, the nostalgia is almost overwhelming. But, then I realize that I lived all those years and I have a good life and good kids. Of course, I have those days like yesterday and then I get really bummed out. I manage to pull myself out of it though. Sometimes it is a little harder than other times but I get through it ok. I talked to my sister last night, she was packing some of her things to take back to her house. Her husband just had surgery on the 4th. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and they removed part of his pancreas, part of his stomach and then re-attached his small intestines to his stomach. Anyway, they are getting a divorce, she went back to his house because he was having surgery and she had to be there just incase he didn't make it through the surgery. They have a lot of things that they have to get straightened out between them and decisions that they have to make and things to be divided up, etc. I feel sorry for them both. They have been together for along time and it is always a sad thing when a relationship ends. But, I have to go for now. My daughter and my son want me to watch a movie with them. They want me to watch " The Notebook". It is hard for me to believe that my 19 year old son wants to watch a chick flick. I'll update you tomorrow on his thoughts about the movie. BYE! |
| OK, life isn't always what you think it should be, guess I can live with that. If it was, I'm sure there are a lot of people who would be living in bigger houses and have a lot more money and free time and still get paid. My husband went to work this morning and he's going to buy some lottery tickets today. I know, I know, but, you can't win if you don't play. Yes, I know that my chances are the same as a snowballs chance in hell but still... It makes you think, what would you do with that much money? I know one thing I would do, move back to my home state, take my daughter and her girls with me, pay off my son's house, so he could go with us and his girlfriend could go or stay in the house. Of course, I would buy a house for my other daughter and my other 2 sons. At least that way, they would always have thier own place to live and I wouldn't have to worry about them being homeless. I would buy presents for a few friends. I don't have that many, so that would be ok. I have one friend who really likes cadillacs, so obviously, I would buy him one. I would also help pay for some of his wife's medical bills. She has to go to dialysis 3 times a week now. That has to be costing a pretty penny even with insurance, which I'm sure he has through his job. Then, I would give some money to an animal shelter, a no kill shelter, because they always need help and they hardly ever refuse to take an animal. I would give some money to a church but it has to be one that I feel is worthy. Those are very hard to find these days. I haven't found a church that I feel comfortable going to, so it would be hard to find one that is worthy. You hear so much BS about all of the churches and religion in general, it is almost like faith is being tested these days. But, that is a whole other blog for another day. As for the burger king incident, I still don't know what to think about it all. I have the # to the corporate office and I am going to call them. But whether they do anything about it, well, we'll just have to wait and see. Guess I was being reminded of how lucky I am because I have a place to live, food on the table everyday and a little money in the bank and I can read and write and my kids are healthy and so are the grandkids. So, for that I am very thankful and very grateful. Guess I just needed to be reminded to say thank you for the little things that everyone takes for granted on a daily basis. So, to the powers that be, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LITTLE THINGS!! Well, I'm going to stop for now, my daughter and ger girls are coming over to watch a movie and I have to go get dressed before they get here. BYE!! |
| OK, I'm going to rant for a minute about a fast food restaurant. It is one that everybody knows and practically everybody has eaten there at one point in their lives. Yesterday, I went to the local Burger King, it about 6 blocks from my house. I pulled into the driveway, which is in the front of the restaurant and then pulled around to the order box. When I got there, I was told that I would have to come in to place my order. I thought, ok, I can do that. We had bad weather come through yesterday and I thought that maybe their computers were messed up because of the weather. So, I pulled back around and parked. While I was getting ready to get out of my truck, 2 other cars pulled up to the drive thru, the first car placed theri order and srove around to the window, the 2nd car pulled up to the drive thru, placed their order and pulled around to the window. I just sat and watched, confused. A 3rd car pulled up and then promptly drove away. I got out of the truck and went inside. When I went inside, all of the employee's laughed and the girl at the drive thru window said, " I don't have to explain anything to anybody!" At this point, I was soooooo MAD that I just walked out, got in my truck and left!!! I went to another Burger King and got my order without having any problems. They had a line that was really long and they were cooking so much that the inside of the store had smoke coming out of the drive thru windows. gotta go!! |
| OK, so the last entry was about being needed and feeling very lonely after the kids have moved out. Today, I am glad that I still have one kid at home. He has been talking about going on a road trip with his friends this summer. I can't stop him from going, he is 19 now and very much grown. It's just that I'm not ready for an actual empty nest. I should be though. At least that is what I have been told by everyone who has had kids and they've moved out. Supposedly, it is a chance to start your life again and do what you want to do, not what you have to do. It is a chance to be greedy and keep things for yourself and not share with anyone. It is supposed to be a time to enjoy and rediscover who you are, but all I have ever been or done is take care of my kids. How do you not be that person anymore? My life has been my kids and my husband and sharing and enjoying them and playing with them and doing for and with them and helping them and teaching them. I don't know how to be greedy and not share, I don't know how to buy something for just me and not them too. It feels like I'm nothing anymore. I know that sounds crazy but that is how I feel. If I'm not the mom that makes cookies for school and cupcakes just because, who lays on the floor and colors with the kids and plays in the mud with them and lets them lick the bowl from the cupcakes clean, then Who Am I? I have always had kids around me, since my first daughter was born and I was 17 years old at the time. I have been there for them, given them everything I could, ignored the housework that needed to be done sometimes, just to play barbie's with the girls and hotwheels with the boys. We would have tea parties and picnics in the house when it rained, we would build forts in the living room between the coffee table, couch and chair. We would play hide and seek, tag, chase, I spy, monopoly, cards(when they got older) and we would have dance contests and fashion shows. What am I going to do now that they are grown and moved away? They have taken my grandchildren with them, so that is out of the question and my husband isn't interested in the things that I am interested in, so, where do I go from here? Who am I now? What am I now? I can't get a job because I don't have the skills necessary to compete with someone less than half my age, unless I get a job at a day care and I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Your very limited on the discipline aspect and there is a lack of respect directed towards you because you aren't allowed to discipline the child that you are taking care of because it isn't yours. That would drive me crazy. This is driving me crazy. It is a constant thought in the back of my mind all the time and I don't have the answer to questions anyway. I guess that I will just have to wait and see, like the rest of the world has done at one time or another. |
| So, today I am home alone for a few hours and it got me to thinking about how I felt when my kids started moving out andgoing on with their lives. After having 5 kids, you would think that I would be happy and releived that they are all finally getting their own place to live. You would think that I would say, Whew!, finally some peace and quiet but I have found that just the opposite has happened. It's like , ok, break time for me. Hooray!!! Then you think, ok, break time's over, where did everybody go? Hello? Anybody there? OK, this isn't funny anymore, somebody come over, somebody call me, somebody need me for anything! Somebody buy me a cell phone, something, anything, Hello? It takes a lot of concentration to get used to the idea that your home alone. My tv is on when I am home because I can't stand the quiet. The quiet is too LOUD!!! I have learned all kinds of things to do after the house work is done. I can crochet, I can paint a picture(not by numbers), I can make jewelry and I can do all kinds of stuff all by myself, which is boring as all hell. But, I can tolerate doing these things because I like to do them and now I have tons of free time to do them. Oh, my phone is ringing, someone needs me for something! Hooray, I have to go meet my daughter at an empty house she is cleaning. YEAH! I have something to do and someone who needs me for something! I'll write some more tomorrow. BYE!! |
| Well, today is april fool's day. Fortunately for me, no one has, well, let me just finish that thought tomorrow. My youngest son has gone to work with his father tonight, side job. I finally get the tv all to myself and wouldn't you know it, there's nothing on until 9 tonight. By then they will be home and I probably won't get to watch the show that I want. Although, since it is about living to be 150 years old or the possibility of it, my husband might watch it. Depends on whether or not there is a new L.A. Ink coming on at the same time. Guess that will do for now. I'm going to make myself some dinner and see what I can find to watch on tv. Maybe I'll log back on the computer and voice my opinion about something, maybe not. |
| I will be ranting about my husband tomorrow. He really made me mad today. We watched the movie "23" with Jim Carrey. He liked the movie. I said that I had an online course in numerology and he thought that was cool. Then today, he got mad because I was looking at the binder full of stuff that I have printed out about numerology. Go figure!!! |
| OK, I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee and my daughter calls. Just to keep me updated on the B.S. with her husbands ex internet girlfriend and the dna test for paternity of the baby that her husband and the internet chick had together. Also, to let me know that her oldest daughter's biological sperm donor has been asking questions about her and wanting to know how she is doing. Guess he is through pondering the fatherhood aspect and now he wants to try to be one. Well, 13 years later is a little too late to try to become her dad. My daughter didn't have 13 years to decide if she wanted to be her mother and she has had a dad since she was just a few months old. My daughter wants him to sign away his rights so her husband can legally adopt her daughter. I think that is a good idea, since the man she is married to has been her father since she was a baby. He has been there for her 1st steps, 1st tooth, 1st shots, 1st everything. Her biological donor didn't even acknowledge her existence when we took her to show him his daughter. He wanted nothing to do with her and my daughter wanted nothing from him after the way he reacted to having become a father. It is a little to late for him to try to make amends now! While I am on the phone with my daughter, my other daughter calls, I still have to call her back. Then, before I can hang up with one kid to call the other, their dad calls, so I have to answer that one. He just calls to BS and then he hangs up. So, now I have to call my other daughter, who I am sure called just to be calling. She does this everyday. What can I say, my kids love their Mom and I love it!!! Like any parent, it can be annoying sometimes but I wouldn't have it any other way. They make me feel needed, sometimes just because they can and sometimes because they really do need me for something. I makes me feel good. OK, on to something completely different, sort of anyway. I got a letter in the mail the other day, it was informing us that we have a new property manager for the rental house that we are in now. We have lived in this house for the last 15 years and it has been sold (within the family) about 3 times since we have been in it. At this point, it is obvious that the owners are just in the rental house business for the money. The house needs so much work on it that it would be considered a slum house. My husband and I have tried to maintain the house as much as we can without spending a small fortune, but, to no avail. The plywood is coming off of the side of the garage, it is warped and coming off from the bottom up, the window that was in it has fallen out, into the garage years ago, but, when they put the new roof on the house, they put one on the garage too. Even though it is in the condition that it is in. The roof on the house still leaks, the house is slowly sliding off of the foundation. It is raised up off of the ground about 3 feet, with a double row of brick for the foundation. We had a pipe break a few years ago, under the house. The property manager at the time, would only send someone for maintenance if it was an emergency situation and it was. The man he sent to fix the broken pipe, didn't want to climb under the house, so, he busted out a hole in the brick. The hole is about 4 ft around, maybe, and ever since then, the house has slowly moved. Just the slightest bit, but it is noticable inside the house. I can put a marble at one end of the living room and it will roll to the other side of the room, without any help at all. Yes, just like the commercial, I have doors that won't shut. The ceiling tiles in the dining room/den, are acoustic tiles. They were measured wrong when they were put up there and so they tend to fall out. We probably have about 15 of them that we can't put back because they broke when they fell out. Those cost too much money for us to buy them and try to replace them. The manager knew about them, but did nothing. He knew about the roof leak for years and just kept sending someone to patch it instead of fixing it the right way. The bedroom where the leak originated, is totally un-usable. The ceiling fell in and ruined the waterbed that I had, did we get reimbursed for it or get credited for it, NO! We spent most of the winter freezing our butts off because the heater went out. They came and gave us a wall heater that uses gas and has an electric fan. I still had to use the oven for heat just to keep it somewhat comfortable in the house. I also have little electric heaters that I would move from room to room. It just gets better and better. It feels like the house is out to get me because it knows that I don't want to be here anymore. I want to move back home, yesterday! But, that is going to be a few months down the road. I have to figure out how to save some money so that we can move by the summer time. If I have to stay in this state too much longer, I'll go absolutely CRAZY!!!! But, enough of that. I have to go to the bank and make a deposit and then go pay the water bill which is $175.00. Yes, there is a water leak and we haven't been able to find it so the water bill is outrageous. I told the property manager and he said for me to turn the water off at the meter. Make sure everything is off, if the little dial is still moving, there is a leak. DUH! Did he say he would send someone to find it and fix it, NO! Are they going to put a clean-out trap for the plumbing, supposed to, but haven't seen anyone show up to do that yet either. Don't really expect them too. They are just in it for the money. Too bad I don't have the money to move right now. If I did, I would turn them into the housing people for being a slum lord and not maintaining the property. They tried to get us to buy this house last year for $60,000.00 I just laughed and said No, thank you but NO! There is a house around the corner from us that is selling for under $30,000.00 There is no way this house is worth that much money. It would take at least $20,000. to fix it up. Then it might be worth that kind of money. They would have to add a dishwasher, garbage disposal, central air and heat and carpeting throughout the house instead of just in the bedrooms. The kitchen cabinets would have to be replaced, a sheetrock ceiling is needed in the dining room/den and new floor tile is needed in one of the bathrooms. There are light fixtures that need to be repaired and or replaced, celing fans that need to be replaced, wiring that needs to be checked, repaired and or replaced, plumbing that needs to be repaired and or replaced, not to mention the foundation that needs to be checked, repaired, whatever they do for that. This house needs a major overhaul. Anyway, I've got things to do, so I better stop for now. I should be back tomorrow but it is Saturday and there is a Barrett Jackson auction on tv, so my husband will be up before noon. I might not be able to log in again until Monday. So, Have a Good Weekend!!!! |
| Today, I made a small photo album for my grandson. It has his picture on the front and some pics inside that have happy memories for him. I got a compact photo printer for Christmas from my husband. Of course, I had to be on the phone with him while he looked for it, so I knew what I was getting before I got it. That's ok though. The year before last, I bought my own present from him and had to act surprised when I opened it in front of everyone. Guess we have been married so long, that he just doesn't know what to buy anymore, or he just thinks I won't care if I buy it and put his name on it. It does bother me though. I just wish he would realize it. Yes, I have told him that I want him to buy the present but, he just doesn't want to go through the hassle of finding the right one, so, I either buy it for me from him or I risk not getting one. Either way, I'm not happy about it. Oh well, guess that is one of the things that makes life interesting. I'm going to my sons house this afternoon so that I can give my grandson the photo album. I know that he will be totally surprised. To bad my camera had to be sent in for repairs. It is a Kodak easy share digital camera. It is still under warranty, but it quit working about 1 month after I bought it. Then, it started working again, at least for a little while. This time, it quit working, I put new batteries and it still didn't work. So, I went to the website, where it is registered and went through their trouble shooting guide and it said that it is something that I can't repair and it had to be sent in, so I sent it in with a copy of the reciept. Hopefully, I will get it back real soon. I have missed a lot of beautiful sunsets and a lot of happy faces too. Anyway, there really isn't much else to tell today, so I guess I'm done! |
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