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Things that I think every mom wants thier kids to know |
| This is something that I have been wanting to do for some time. I am not sure how to put all of this together and make it worth reading. Everyone says, " My life is an open book." I'm trying to put my life into a book that might be opened. |
| Well, today is Mother's day and I am sitting here, at home, all alone. My husband is still asleep and I have yet to hear from any of my kids. I am sure that they will all call and the ones that live here will come by the house for a quick visit. I have recently discovered what it actually feels like having a completely empty nest and I don't like it! My yongest son has been working out of town with my oldest son all week long for 2 weeks now. He comes home on Thursday and then leaves on Friday to his friends house. Then he comes home on Sunday and leaves on Monday morning for the week. The only difference that I have noticed besides being alone all day, is the grocery bill has gone down. I really don't like having an empty house. I have had people around me all the time because I had 5 kids. The baby is 19 now but still lives at home. But anough of that. I'll end up being sad and I'm trying to stay happy for the day. Hope that everyone has a great mother's day! |
| I am having a bit of a dilemma right now. My little dog, Gizmo, is having female problems. She is about 15 or 16 years old and I am not sure that she would be able to survive the surgery. That isn't the only problem. The surgery is going to cost about 300 to 500 dollars and I just don't have that kind of money. I don't know if the vet would let me make monthly payments. She will let me post date checks but only 2 or 3 of them. Why does it have to cost so much to save them and so little to put them down. If I have to have her put down, it will only cost $17.00 How crappy is that? Why does everything have to revolve so much around money? Why can't I find a vet that has a heart and will help me for what I can afford? It's not like I want it done for free. I don't want to have to have her put down. I'm sure that she still has many good years left in her, even though she is going blind and I think that her hearing is going too. But, on the other hand, I can't bear to see her suffer like I'm pretty sure she is doing right now. I love her too much to keep letting her suffer. I am going to take her to the vet in the next few days and then I will have to make the hard decision. I just don't know if I can make that decision. Especially right now. I'm still not over the loss of my mother and one of my little dogs named Bear. His actual name was cry baby bear because he whined when he talked to you and Yes, he would talk to you. He died the day after I came home from getting things taken care of at my mom's after she passed away. He had a grand mall seizure and died in my arms on my dining room floor. But, it's late and I have to get up early tomorrow, so, I'll finish this then. |
| some days it just doesn't pay to voice your thoughts, even to your husband. I said something to my husband about wanting to be back home by this time and he said to me to quit harping on it. Your never going to get over it if you keep thinking about it. Well, damn, this time last year, I was with my mom for mother's day and she was alive! How dare he expect me to just get over it, like it was a bug that got squashed on the bottom of my shoe or something. How dare he. I had to endure years of him making the holidays miserable for everyone when he lost his mother. Am I not supposed to be given the same courtesy or compassion? I'm so hurt ny that statement that i can't put it into words. |
| Today is a better day than it was the last time I was on WDC. I was feeling really bummed out that day. I really hope that I didn't offend anyone with my tirade. Guess I now know how some others have felt over the years. I still don't know when I am going home, but, I am going. I miss my brothers and sisters so very much that it hurts. Wish my husband could understand how I feel. But, I don't want to get off on another rant, so, I guess I will just stop for now. |
| Have you ever had one of those days where you just know things aren't going to happen the way that you want them to happen? I have been having one of those days for a few days now. It just feels like I am not going to be able to move back to Texas anytime soon and it is driving me crazy!!!!! I live in the most backwards, hateful place that I know of right now. When I first moved here, it was a nice change from Houston. But, after living here for the past 15 years, it isn't such a nice place anymore. I'm talking about Jackson, Mississippi. I'm sure that almost everyone has heard about the mayor, he made national news for many months. That is only the political side of this place. On the personal side, it sucks! After you have been here for a while, the racial tension will drive you nuts. You have to monitor everything that you say, but, only if you are white. I know, that is a terrible thing to say, but it is the truth. This place will make you racist. I never was before we moved here. I mean, I have a half-brother that is half black and one that is half indian. They are my brothers and I love them with all my heart. But, after living here, you find yourself thinking things that never would have entered your mind in a million years. There are people here that keep racism alive and kicking, without a thought of what it is doing to the morale of the people that live here. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the KKK is fully operational here. Yes, that is a harsh statement, but, this state makes you think those kinds of things on a daily basis. You can't go to the store without seeing someone that hates white people and they aren't afraid to say so. They let thier kids run rampant through the stores and if they run into you, don't say anything to them because you will be accused of being a racist. There is one cashier at a grocery store down the street from the house and she is blatantly racist. If she doesn't feel like letting you go through her line, she will say she is closed. When you go to the next line, she is miraculously open again because a black person needs to be checked out. I have experienced that more than once and it really ticks me off, but, I can't say anything because I am white. Most of the racism is from the black people here and it is directed towards the white people. That really sucks royally too. I say that for two reasons. The first reason is because I have never treated anyone like I am better than them. I have many friends that are black and 1 brother that has a black father(sperm donor). His biological father never had anything to do with him until he was grown. My dad raised him and gave him his name at birth, even though he wasn't his biological child. So, he has been my brother since he was born! My sons have many friends that are black and one of them has a best friend that is mixed. He is a great kid and in college right now. When I win the lottery and he finishes school, he is going to be my accountant. The second reason, this state is making me have racist thoughts and I HATE IT!!!!! I haven't done anything to anyone to deserve to be treated like I was a slave owner. I am nice and polite to everyone that I talk to and everyone that I see during the course of an average day. I have never had slaves, maids or anything that might be confused with the stereo typical racism of the past. So, why do I have to put up with being treated like I did something wrong because of the color of the skin that I was born with? If I had a little more native american indian blood gong through my veins, I wouldn't be as white as I am. Would that make a difference to some of these people? Would I look acceptable to them then? It is driving me crazy and I want to go home! Atleast there, you don't have to put up with the looks from people like you do here. Anyway, that's enough for now. I have ranted long enough and I am sure this blog entry will make a lot of people very mad. For that I am sorry, but it is how I feel and I can't change that at this time. |
| I have been a little homesick these past few days. My sister sent me a picture of the world's largest pool. It is a salt water pool located in Chile and it is absolutely beautiful! The reason it made me homesick, her mother-in-law has a saltwater pool and we spent some time there when my mom was sick. It was one of those days when Mom kicked us out of the house. She made us take the day off from taking care of her. Our brother's took care of her that day and we spent the day by the pool, in the pool and having a few wine coolers and hotdogs, burgers, etc. It really was a good day for us and Mom got a break from us hovering over her. We tried not to hover but it was really hard not to do that. Anyway, I have just been sitting around here doing nothing and missing my sisters something terrible. A phone call just isn't the next best thing to being there, not this time. Well, we got the results of the DNA test for my daughter's husbands infidelity and it is definitely his baby. I was on the phone with my daughter when she opened the envelope with the results. She said that she felt like she was going to have a heart attack or pass out or throw up, maybe all of the above all at the same time. I felt so bad for her and just wanted to be there to give her a hug. She got into an arguement with her husband, jsut because she wanted him to feel like she did. He did, so I guess she got her point across. I don't know if they will be able to make it work now that they know for sure that the baby is his. She was holding out hope that it wasn't. That bubble has been thoroughly popped! The girl that her husband had the affair with is a total nut job and crazy too. She had the nerve to contact my oldest granddaughter and try to get back into her good graces without asking my daughter if she could talk to her. Needless to say, my daughter came unglued and so did my granddaughter. She wanted to respond back but my daughter said no, not yet. I don't think this girl and my granddaughter are going to be friends. I think they will always be enemies. The one that will get hurt the most is the baby. She did not ask to be in this world and I know she would not have picked this girl to be her mother. She doesn;t know how to be a mother. Her mother has raised her kids from the time that they were born. But, enough of that for now. I'll get off on a rant and I don't want to do that this time of night. I'll never get any sleep. So, I'll add some more in a day or two. Hope everyone reading this has a great weekend! |
| But enough for nowOK, I'm feeling better today but not completely well yet.It seems that I have gotten a cold on top of sinus problems, on top of allergies, on top of just being rundown from lack of sleep. I have been pretty stressed about getting out of here and getting back to my home state. I really miss my sisters and brothers. I talk to them regularly, but it isn't the same as being there. So, I'm on pins and needles these days. It is the waiting that gets to me. I absolutely hate waiting for something that seems like a pipe dream. We are going to move but on my husbands time table. That is what bothers me about the waiting. He has his time table and it makes perfect sense, as usual, but it just isn't fast enough for me. I wanted to be there for the one year anniversary of my mom's death. I wanted to spend that time with my brothers and sisters. I know that they will go to mom's place( now one of my sisters place) and I know that they will have a big family bar-b-que and all of that kind of stuff. It is what mom would want us to do. She loved to cook-out and have all of her kids together. We were all together for the six weeks before she passed away, peacefully. I was there this time last year and I can feel the pull to be there now! You never really know how much you miss something until you re-visit that something and then leave again. My husband has not been back to my home state since we left there 16 years ago. He has seen his brother only once since then. His brother came to visit and have Thanksgiving dinner with us about 2 years after we moved here. He hasn't seen him since then. I have been trying to get him to go visit his brother and check out the job market there, then come back here. When he does that, he will want to move as badly as I do. The only problem with moving, my 2nd daughter. She is married to the world's biggest A-hole. He has the crappiest attitude and he treats her like she is something to be scraped off the bottom of his shoe. On top of that, he treats one of his daughters like that and the other like she is a little princess and she should have everything in her life that she could possibly want. Yes, he plays favorites with his children, just like his parent's did him. It is wrong and it is going to interfere with the special bond that sisters have. It is going to make one resent the other and that is just evil. My daughter says she wants to leave him, but at this point, I'm not sure if she can. I'm not sure she has the fortitude that will be necessary for her to be able to pack up her girls and go. She says she wants to leave for her daughters. Her oldest in particular. She doesn't want her to grow up hating the world and everyone in it. That is probably what is going to happen if she doesn't get her away from the racist, antagonistic, sarcastic, eog-maniacal, self-depricating, dillusional father. Yes, he is all that and more. He expects the oldest girl to be perfect and make no mistakes, ever! She isn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything with friends because she doesn't have any. Her father runs them all off because they aren't the right kind of people for her to be around. He is so strict on her that she cries if he tries to help her with her homework. The reason, he calls her stupid and retarded if she doesn't understand the first time, then he gets really mad if she is still having a problem and he will try to ground her or take away something of hers or make threats of that nature to her. In truth, he scares the hell out of her, but not her little sister. I just don't understand how someone can have a favorite child. I treated all of my kids equally and I love all of them the same. But, enough for now. I'll be back in a few days or tomorrow. |
| just a quick note, i have been sick all weekend long. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow and I will add some more to my blog. Besides, my husband doesn't like me being on the computer when he is home. So, until tomorrow..... |
| OK, I get on the computer and check my email, as usual. There is one from my brother and it says please read. Now, I'm thinking that it is one of the jokes or something like that , that is what he usually sends me. No, it is about a new drug that is showing up at elementary schools. I copied and pasted the email to my word thing on the computer and made several copies. I am going to take them to the schools where my grandchildren go and to the grocery store and have them make copies for the bulletin board. Here is a quick run down of the email: There is a very scary thing going on in the schools right now that we all need to be aware of. There is a new drug known as "strawberry quick" . This is a type of crystal meth that looks like strawberry pop rocks( the candy that pops and sizzles in your mouth). It also smells like strawberry and it is being handed out to kids in school yards. They are calling it strawberry meth or strawberry quick. Kids are ingesting this thinking that it is candy and being rushed off to the E.R. in dire condition. It also comes in chocolate, peanut butter, cola, cherry, grape and orange. Please instruct your children not to accept candy from strangers and not even to accept candy that looks like this from thier friends as they may have been given it and think it is candy. If they already have it then take it to the teacher or principal immediately. Anyone that reads this please pass it on to as many people as you know so that awareness can be raised and maybe a few kids saved. I don't know how to post this anywhere else on this site, so if anyone else does, feel free to copy the above section and post it where it can be read by the most people and therefore passed on to many more. As for the rest of the daily bs, it can take a back seat to the email. I'm feeling better but my neck is really sore. Think I pulled a muscle with all of the coughing or it is turning into strep. Have to get my husband to go to the doctor and get me some anti-biotics. I don't have insurance and can't afford the doctor visit. He has insurance through work, so it is affordable for him. Anyway, I'll add some more tomorrow. |
| I still feel like crap but not as bad as yesterday. I bought some orange juice and some blueberry/pomegranite juice, some vitamin c and some euchanasia to boost my immune system. Hopefully all of this will help me get better, sooner rather than later. My son was reading over my shoulder. He pulled an all-nighter again. He does that sometimes. He just said he now knows why he sleeps late in the morning, it's because there isn't anything on tv and there ain't nothing to do! Well, I still didn't win the lottery, atleast not the big money. I won 7.00, so , technically, I have won the lottery. However, I would rather win the big money instead of the little money all the time. As for Marvin, he is doing so much better. His bite wound is almost completely healed. Hopefully, we won't have any more vet visits any time soon. I talked to my oldest sons girlfriend yesterday. She had a really crappy day the day before. Her car messed up on the way home from work. She picked up her son from school and then the car died on the way to the house. So, they sat there on the side of the road for a few, then the car started and they went home. When they got home they discovered that one of thier dogs had died. She thinks it might have been from parvo, which will get the other 2 puppies if she doesn't get them the parvo shot. But, I didn't see the dog, so I don't know if it was attacked by the other males in the yard or if it was parvo. Anyway, she had a really crappy couple of days. As for my oldest daughter, she is doing alright for now. She had to take one of her daughters to the doctor because she got a bad rash after taking some penicillin . The rash was a delayed reaction. The doctor said that it is rare for someone to have a reaction 9 days after taking the medicine. So, needless to say, she is allergic to penicillin, just like my youngest son. He can't even get any penicillin on him. If he does, he gets a blister unless he washes it off immediately. We found that out when we had to give Marvin some amoxicillin and he spit it out and flung his head at the same time. It got on my son and he just wiped it off and finished giving the cat his medicine. Then he noticed that his arm was stinging and where the medicine had been, was a blister starting to form. He washed his arm and put benadril cream on it and then it went away. There really isn't much else going on right now so I guess I'll add more tomorrow. |
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