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You have entered my blog. I take no responsibilty for your reaction. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY NEW CAR....WELL IF I HAD THE MONEY TO BUY ONE!!! Thanks Thea!!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| OOOOHHHHH----Yeah! I am winding down ..finally.. I think for sure I am crazy now...so bad that I feel like laughing at everything...HAHAHAHAHA...HA! I showed up here at 4:00 am,,,,,,did crazy, crazy work..most things did not go right and new stuff dumped all day. I had hundreds of phone calls, I wear two plus a radio and a beeper! I was buzzing around the shop jobs and the yard like a mad man...am I mad? I heard that if you have to ask that question then you must be. But you know what? Yeah the end of the day came anyway....just showed right up at the end like it was supposed to...Isn't it great? the end comes anyway...it really does.......I am ready to go home. I think I will swim some laps.....relax...nurse a beer and then CHiiiiiiiILL! Yup tonite it's chillski soup Then tomorrow "Get er dun man" is back on the job...but it will be Friday..what could possibly go wrong? What? .........bye......Ski |
| Morning my friends. Yesterday afternoon I swam in the pool of hypocrisy. Yup I did! lack of planning and poor comunication of my boss's part created a situation that taxed my capability of anger control. Yes it is true, in the morning I sit on my high horse and preach the control of our anger to maintain your power of existance. By afternon I came dangerously close to crossing that line and falling off the edge of that fine line I call sanity. Along with anger control I usually throw around the words action and re-action. Each are connected and are the key to control. An action always brings re-action. Hence, the mad motorist is pissed that you interfered with his path that day and their action is to honk, yell, call you names and even possibly using their vehicle to threaten you.......Here is the important part, your re-action is the action that will control or escalate the situation...then your re-action is an action that creates a new re-action...this can easily snowball and became a major confrontation...Then, well anger is the fuel that feeds this fire. This is the battle field I entered yesterday afternoon and the reason I am early today. My boss instiduted an action that was poorly planned and reeked of a lack of communication. This put severe pressure on my crew. He expected "GET IT DONE MAN" to show up and once again save the day. To all of you I appear as a mild mannered office worker who occasionally writes something interesting enough to get you to visit my blog. To my work I am the super hero that flies in with my cape flailing in the wind and upon landing, I solve all those foolish problems that were surely avoidable but there is that lack of planning thing again. Yesterday was a huge example of that as my boss decided he would put undo pressure on my department and showed total lack of communication or compasion. I usually force a united front with my crew and shoulder the brunt of the inperfections my bosses create. You see I have two bosses that are brothers and my position was handled by a third brother that was forced out of the company. these two guys are at each other consatantly and "GET IT DONE MAN" usually smoothes things over....when I talk of anger, I see these two guys in my ugly vision. Anyway, my re-action yesterday was teedering on anger and though I didn't blow up I did let my boss know how I felt..then the unthinkable...I unloaded with the men about the situation with my boss. I consider this a no-no as it creates bad situation and hindges on the action...re-action thing....so of course they were not too happy about working extra and I did not want to be blamed.... So here I am....my whole crew is in right now trying to solve the mess....I have changed into my cape..and tights....the super hero will try once again to save the day... stay tuned...You will be the first to know....I just don't know what that will be... Sorry no wisdom today...I need it myself!! I'm looking for the happy me, have you seen him? Ski |
| I was thinking the other day, if there was one thing in the world that would help us as humans, it would be to get rid of anger. It seems that almost everything bad is associated with that one emotion. For some reason, it is now acceptable to become outraged. We can rant and rave in public, make a complete fool of ourselves and that is OK? We like to get mad because we feel when we do and we are somehow allowed to make any wrong decition we can think of.....It becomes an excuse..."that's ok, he was mad." or " I couldn't help it, I was mad." here is a common one, "I'm sorry, but it made me mad." We use that emotion to explain our shortcommings. An addict justifies falling off the wagon because they were mad. We can look absolutely stupid as we froth at the mouth and call some crazy driver every hurtfull word in the dictionary while we give them the finger and cut them off with our car. People accept our outburst and are happy to return the favor with their own. Why is this OK now? We don't seem to mind besides we want the excuse too. It allows us to say or do all the wrong things then not be responsible. When was the last time someone broke out in histerical laughter without getting a bunch of strange looks? Why can't we? It is an emotion too. Why is that not acceptable? It can raise the heart rate and give us the same high as anger does. Well I just said it.....yes hmmn, anger is a high. the heart races, adrenaline is released, we can loose control and are allowed to treat people horribly. It is the biggest excuse there is for the things we do wrong. It is surely a just as much a drug as anything man has produced. Did you know that giving in to anger is the best way to give in to everything? Once angry, you give up control of the situation, control of your level headed decitions. You transfer all the power to who or what ever you are mad at. Once the power is gone we no longer have control of our lives. That is the exact moment that we will make a mistake that could follow us forever. Most killing come from anger. A slpit second decition and your life is ruined! As fast as a snap of your finger and you have lost control and taking the life force from someone else...Temporary insanity....You can use that in court now..isn't it the same acceptable excuse? "I'm sorry, I was mad. That is why I did it, it made me insane." You will probably get off if you have a good lawyer. The next time I feel like getting mad, I think I will just try laughing outloud instead. Yeah, a huge belowing laugh. You know what will happen? I bet I will feel good! I bet the person that was trying to make me mad will be disapointed and guess what they will lose power over me. Yes, I will retain the power, the power of being me! I refuse to let anger ruin my life....you know it wants to! My new excuse, "that's ok, he's just happy!" ..... Ski |
| I woke up this morning in an odd mood. I seem to go in cycles. I will ramble along letting life slosh me back and forth in the waves of it's controling nature,then suddenly open my eyes and realize I was in it's trance. I have to stop and ask myself questions. What am I doing? where am I going? Am I controling my destiny? Well funny thing, control is relative as we don't really have any. We try to steer and head for the direction we think is right. At the same time life throws us around and changes our course. Right now, I feel like I am steering hard right and the winds of life are blowing me left. I decided the only way to understand is decide what I want out of life or the immediate future. To do this I must disect various protions of my recent direction. When I came to WDC it was by accident. I read some stories on the site and realized that I wanted people to read my small batch of stories. Only people close to me had read them and I felt their opinion was probably clouded. I felt alive and scared at first. My grammer and sentence structure was a mess. Basically one long sentence that finally ran out of wind and stopped. My first review was very kind. They said they struggled to maintain focus but liked the story. I started making changes and got positive responses. Well mostly, I had a few real blowouts and almost gave up. These people were so mean! I clung onto the good feeling I received from a few and stayed. I am meandering a little here, my point is that I came here for the high I feel when people seriously like what I write, my emotion peels off the page and hits them! When I know I have moved someone just by what I put down on paper....the high is amazing! So 6 months later, I am hardly writing anything and spending most of my time blogging....how did that happen? Did I get blown off course or is this my direction? Funny thing about life, you don't know the answer to these types of questions until you have passed it. You can easily look back and say, "shouda,woulda, coulda!" How does one manage to find a way to see the vision before it is behind them? It seems like I am so good at evaluating the past rather than seeing the future. I guess that is why I am writing this, I want to open my eyes and see where I am going. I surely do enjoy blogging with you folks and have crossed paths with many that I call friend now. Maybe that is the root to why I am here. Maybe I have progressed to where I am supposed to be. Maybe I have just been blown by the winds of chance to this very spot. Today, I am taking a hard look at this very spot, is this where my X is? Perhaps I am still walking and this is just one more step. One more step to where? OK, you are surely bored and probably quit reading paragraphs ago, but if not, tell me what you think. What is your goal? are you blown by the winds of life too? Maybe you have a definate plan and your course is steady. If so, please tell me how you do it. What is your secret? Are we living our lives or just existing? Do I change my course and go back to writing stories rather than blogging little leaks from my brain? Maybe these little leaks are exactally what I need to keep my sanity. Maybe I am insane already and only dreaming of this very moment in time. If I accomplish the task of opening my eyes, I might be sorry as I might realize that I have been in dream land and the reality is much less desirable. If so, will I be capable of returning or will it be like that dream that you love and when you have woken up, you can not seem to return. You manage to go back to sleep, but it is always a new dream. What will my new dream be? SKI |
| Morning, I guess the answer must be A good chance! Yeah, I have been thinking about that word. Why does it work better for some people more than others? What is the chance that more than three people will read this? I can figure chance when it becomes mathametical and averages are involved. You see if I add up all of the people that read my entries, and then divide by the amount of them, I get an average and if that is three or larger, I can assume that the chances are good. That part is easy. The problem is when you add a prize. If you asked me to bet on something that had a fifty/ fifty chance, and if I was right I would win; say 50 bucks. Well I would probably be wrong 90 percent of the time. Why is that? Why are some people so lucky? Is it really luck? Well down the road from me there is a cow farm. It stinks even driving by with the windows up. Now that doesn't bother me too much, but here is the thing. They bought an old caboose (sp?) anyway the rear end of a train that is not used anymore. They painted it bright red, put up a sign that read; Toots. they sell ice cream. Now if I put this hunk of metal in front of my house, chance would slap across the head and I would go bankrupt. These people are busy all the time! You would think that the crap smell would deter people? No way. Instead they bring their kids and walk around looking at the animals eating their icecream while smelling crap. If you came up with a business plan that specified people smelling crap while eating , I think the bank would tell you not to let the door hit you in the butt on the way out. So luck and chance must have played a roll here, right? Maybe they have just the right spot, far enough away from another icecream place. Or, maybe they are just really smart? They had a plan, they felt their flow of people would be middle class with a need for their kids to be amazed at seeing animals close up, they picked an attractive type of building and sell a food that every one loves. Something people will buy reguardless of how full they are, or how bad the air stinks. I would rather think they are lucky, that way I can complain about their success and wallow in my own lack of good luck. Yes that is a much better way to explain it....them dingalings are sooo lucky! OH, do I stop there? UM.... yes all the time, their icecream is so good...they make it themselves you know...right next door in a little building. They have a big window so you can watch them make it. The place is so busy.... they have a flag that they put out to let you know they are open...I find myself looking for that flag when I am getting close!! They are so damn lucky! Why can't that ever happen to me? Chances are... I have no chance, you know why? Well you can't win or lose if you don't play.. right? I love their extremely black rasberry, it has chocolate chips in it.....I wish they were open now!! SKi |
| Hi there, OK, OK, I know what you are thinking, What am I doing here? Well those of you who know me are thinking right now "what is Ski doing blogging on the weekend. Does he ever go home?" Yea, I am nuts! I am working instead I could be running a 5K race. It is called Auburn Fit Fest. I ran it last year. This town has a little festival and the race is quite amazing. You start in the middle of town, cross a couple canal bridges, zig zag through a park, follow a train track, hit a path that follows the canal and finish in a beautiful park. Last year is was 85 degrees and humid. I ran well but was very tired. Today it is cool and overcast...Great for running! So here I am...........Working......Moment of silence..........OK, now I went to a small town last night. My grandchildren were in a puppet show. It was called The very silly little puppet show. It was in Temple Maine. Now this little town is special because it is one of two towns in our state that you can not drive through. That's right the road starts out two lane with a yellow line down the middle and slowly becomes a smaller road with no line then even smaller to the point that it is still tar but two cars can barely fit.....then suddenly it turns to dirt, meanders for a couple miles ......Then stops!! Yup, it just stops. I can't figure out why someone would do that....These people are trudging along creating a road/trail.. they name this town temple and as they are building,I guess they figure "well that's far enough." and stop. They must have no reason to go anyfurther. It is hard for me to understand, the next town must be full of undesirables and they don't want them in Temple? Once you get to this town, you have to stop and turn around to go anywhere else. So, almost at the end of the road is a little building that was once a church I think. They have it all set up like a theater. Next door there is a building that houses a huge brick oven that they make their own pizza. Now delivery is easy, don't even need a sign on top of the car. One thing I thought this place had going for it.....No drive by shootings... Nope ain't gonna happen! The poor car full of thugs would have to stop turn around and drive back by! Then they would have to fight those hand puppets ....whoa.. not a good vision..all them long sticks and colorful paint.... So I am thinking, this could not be too popular right? Wrong! This place was packed..they were playing a kind of blue grass music. Kids were running around playing kick ball, chasing each other. The parents were drinking homemade sparkling cider and some had homemade wine. The kids were not controled. They had no shoes on and were frolicking all around. No one had to watch them. It was like they were all out playing in their back yard. It reminded me of a big festival with a pack of hippies, only there were no drugs or anything. Just huge bunch of locals that were all friends and enjoyed the tranquility of a small town...that is at the end of a dirt road....Safety is not an issue..no one worried....they just danced around,ate very good home made pizza and then we all went inside to enjoy the puppet show. A guy from Vermont opened the show with a story telling thing and he was also a one man band. The kids loved to watch him act out his stories. There is appearantly quite a following of this type of activity as they had me put my name and address on a mailing list..what are they going to mail me I wonder? You know what I like about this place? the directions..... drive down route 43, when it stops you are there!! Yea how often do you get directions like that? Of couse I don't think I would have a garage sale there. Not too much impulse buying and I am sure these type of neighbors just hand their no longer needed stuff around to who ever needs it! The part I didn't like was the long drive home (about two hours) Didn't get home until 11:00 and still had to get the grandkids in bed and stuff before I could hit the sack myself.......boy 4:30 came early but was somewhat OK because I usually get up at 3:30......so I had that extra hour of sleep going for me. I thought about getting up at 3:30 and getting a run in....but that thought anly lasted about 2 seconds....problem is now I have to fit a run in and the grandkids just love to fill my time up! OK, I can hear the snores and that makes me realize I have broken one of Bugzy's rules...Damn... didn't want to do that....I wonder will there be a spanking now? Maybe just a stern look and a slap on the wrist. Wait, I am a runner, she will never catch me! Unless I trip and fall, then I suspect it will be a wrestling match.... hhmmnnn... Ok back to work Ski.........Bye. |
| My mind has been cluttered lately with reactions. It is human nature and usually we are not in control of our emotions when things happen to us. Do we usually stop and think before we react? No, as a matter of fact, we are programmed at a very young age by the people around us. Our parents, their parents, our friends, society, they all play a roll in how our brain "wires" are connected. I think it is so much harder to solve our problems because of this programming. This guy is 62 years old. He comes home from his doctor visit. The diagnosis is terminal cancer....."4 months tops!" the doctor's voice rings in his head, over and over. He is still in a daze but his first reaction is disbelief. This cannot be true. He drops the bomb on his wife, she breaks down and cries.....By now his disbelief has turned to sadness and he starts crying. "4 months tops." keeps ringing and now he is mad. Mad at the world, mad at the doctor, mad at God, yea really mad at God....He did this, this is unfair. This guy decides to leave his wife of 40 years. He cashes in his retirement, runs out and buys that big boat he has always wanted. Shows up to work a day late. Before his boss can open his mouth to yell, he quits. No explination, just walks out. He drives strait to the BMW dealership, trades in his car on a cute little convertible. Complete upheaval of his life....finds out a month later that the diagnosis was wrong. Now he is broke, his life feels ruined and he is very mad. He want's to sue the doctor. Who is responsible for his reaction? His instinctive response and the way he dealt with the problem is the doctors fault? What do you think? A couple finds out that their 4 year old daughter has terminal cancer. In-operatable and she will not live to be a teenager. The parents are devistated. Their thoughts are opposite. He starts spoiling the child, gives in to her. What ever she wants. She becomes very hard to control, and expects gifts everytime they go by a store. The wife tries to disipline but she is interupted by the father. Who is right? Should they give her everything she wants? Should they treat her like a normal child? What would your reaction be and how would you deal with it? As I think about it, I am sure I would want to treat her like any normal child. I think her quality of life would be better. Yes I know what my reaction would be, or do I? Problem is, you don't know. No, we cannot anticipate our reaction until the day it happens to us. How could we? This causes me to think about reactions and how we are programmed. Sometimes we just don't control those things. I think about what I have instilled into my children and how they deal with things. It is all relative....I wish I knew this when they were young. I think I might have treated them different or would I? I guess my point today is that we should probably not allow ourselves to react without thinking. Isn't that usually when we are sorry for the manner in which we deal with things? We should take a long hard look at ourselves before we react. Shouldn't we? Doesn't that give us a better chance at making a right decition? Is that too many questions this early? Ski |
| Hey, The mornings keep comming! It seems that time is a rare comodity these days. Is it because the world is moving faster? Maybe what they say is true, that as you get older time moves faster. I wonder if perhaps time is the same and it is just our brains that do not allow us to take in the wonders and enjoy them. Our brains switches gears and we lose control of adjusting it. I guess that means my brain has shifted into 3rd gear (assuming I'm a 4 speed) So how do I down shift and slow down my life? I suppose the answer to that problem will go unanswered as I have not heard of anyone that has solved it. Perhaps there will be some type of invention or pill that will come along to help. It seems recently that no one is inventing anything.....besides electronic advances, the only new things we hear about are pills. Yea pills to support brain health....What? Ok, there is a chemical that makes our brain healthier? Someone has to explain this to me.If I take these, will I get smart enough to earn money without working? If not then I am not impressed. You can by these pills for everything.... It must be a miracle! If I took every pill that advertised good heathy human function......well it would be tough because beside finding time to suck down 100 different pills, I would have to get a second job to support the staggaring costs. So who decides when the advertising is real and where do they actually draw the line? Well when you advertise that your product supports..... Well that really means you don't have to prove it will actually do anything. On some products, they are even more vaque. They write, it may help your prostate to be healthier...OK, so when do I know if it is working? I think I have figured out a guideline. If the product you are considering has absolutely no side effects than it is probably not going to do anything. It seems any pill they come up with that actually has documentation or studies, has some type of side effect that you have to live with to get the benefit of the medicine. Why is that? We are smart enough to figure out what chemical is missing but not quite smart enough to filter out the harmful parts? I think this fact alone shows us how complicated the human body is. So I suspect supporting your system merely means...It probably can't hurt to try it. So what they are saying is, it won't hurt you and it could possibly help..we don't really know, but what the heck, we want your money and we are pretty sure you are stupid enough to give it to us...so send in money and we will send you some pill that is guarranteed to help support something....and if you don't want to lose 100 pounds overnite, then our product is not for you!!!! I think I am going to invent a pill that supports healthy creative writing. It will be great, because we will no longer have to worry about sentence structure or grammer. If you can't write at all, well that's Ok, take three or more of our pill and it will write the imagery for you...all you have to do is sign your name and rack in the money. Your books will sell like hotcakes...and by the way, the only side effect is that you might lose some weight!!!! Damn, I knew it was too good to be true! SKi |
| How do you say goodbye when you don't want to? Sometimes I wonder why things have to change. Just when I feel something good is evolving..........It changes. I guess that is the way huh? I came to this sight quite by accident. I had written a couple stories and was merely surfing for things about writing. BANG!! This site showed up on my screen. I was a little intriqued and though I didn't like the fact that I had to register and give personal information...Again! It seems no matter what you do today, everyone wants all your special info...They offer you tons of free stuff, but first give all your bank numbers ......HHmmnn I get suspicious. Anyway, I thought what the hell and signed up....And well it was free so who knows? I read some pieces on the site...It was actually quite confusing at first but I trudged forward and listed a couple pieces. They were horrible...not in content as the emotion seemed to show through, but the structure and grammer were a shambles. Anyway, that was 6 moths ago and here I am...still writing and hopefully getting much better. So back to the subject..... How did I get here? I was talking about one thing and all of a sudden I am somewhere else!!! How crazy is that? Ever done that while driving? whoa yea, me too!! So, I made some great friends here and continue to do so. It did not take me long to figure out the positive and negative personalities here. What I found was some great people that besides having problems of their own, they were more than willing to help others out. As friendships grew, so did my feelings. Now one of those friends is leaving......How do you say goodbye? How will the site and its personality change? I tell everyone how strong I am but you know what? I hate goodbyes....I love and dread change!!! I want everything to get better, but I don't want things to be different...well that is an oxymoron....can't be that way....things will change...they have to. This writer is an amazing person and extremly talented. She gave her heart and sole to her work here. We all learned so many things by her example and so many of us do not want her to leave.......But things change, and she has decided to grow some more....That means we have to let go...we have to let go......It seems so hard, but we do it throughout our lives. Destiny warrants it. So......Goodbye Pyper......I am so glad you have outgrown us! It proves how far you have come.....Please remember us and stop by to visit!!! Ski |
| I sometimes have these days. I think about my life,my accomplishments, who I really am. So who am I? I am having an OK day. By that I mean I am a little down I guess. Don't know why, could be a number of reasons. Some days, don't you just wonder what your real purpose in life is? What if it was something important and you were so busy just being OK that you missed it? I look back and see that I have done OK. I was in two businesses. One, I was a partner of sorts, the other I owned. Both were about 10 years of my life...I did OK.I didn't make a lot of money..well I guess not enough as I am no longer in them. I think I managed to make some people happy and my work ethic won some fans. I have had many jobs of all types and I was pretty good at some of them. The job I am in right now, I am quite adequate. I get complaints but also some praise. It is so hard to please people though. So, I do Ok....Don't you just wish you could be great at something? I guess I am a jack of all trades but master at none. I can do just about anything that is needed....just not in an excellent way.How does one step past OK and become very good or great? I can not find that thresh hold. It must not be marked. So, I continue to search for ....I don't even know what.....Isn't that strange? Do you (my 3 steady readers) know what you are searching for? I trudge forward with the air of confidence and people think I have a plan and know my destiny....Guess what? I don't! That's crazy isn't it? I think I hide who I really am...I do not even know me....When I am at work, which seems way too long most of the time, I am workski. Workski tries hard and solves problems, gets a pretty good paycheck (that homeski and wifeski manage to blow) My bosses, there are two of them, are pretty happy with my performance but always want more and better. If I was great instead of OK, would they finally be happy? The writerski is fairly new. He tries hard but has very little experience and talent is relative. Some people seem to think there is some, others are quite sure there is very little....So I guess I am an ok writer. I do manage to get my emotion out. The husbandski is a pretty good guy too. My wife doesn't complain a lot...well ok she does, but isn't the wife supposed to? So my marriage is pretty good. Well 30 years means a lot don't you think? SO I must have done something right. I am good at helping people, but some would say I do too much. People take advantage of me. Do they really? Or do I let them because it makes me feel needed? Well if you are needed, than it is almost like being very good at something...indespencible in a way.... I am needed because I am the one that is willing to do it. How would I put that on a resume' or how would that be worded in a ulegy (is that spelled right?) I guess I am just ok with spelling. I know when I think it is wrong, but I don't know if it is right. I hope when I leave this world that I have have made enough of a difference for people to notice. But then what? How do I plan for after? Will I be good or great at something finally? Maybe I will just be an ok guy...maybe a second rate angel or an ok ghost? It is hard to figure because I don't know what jobs are available after death.....Maybe I won't have to work? Naw, I am sure there will be some job out there that I will have to do and I will probably be ok at it.... Okski |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 