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You have entered my blog. I take no responsibilty for your reaction. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** MY NEW CAR....WELL IF I HAD THE MONEY TO BUY ONE!!! Thanks Thea!!!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| This weekend We lost a family member. He ended his own life. Some religons rate suicide on a scale or how many enemies we took with us in the process, but most frown on it. They say the book teaches us that it is a cheaters way out. Some even state that a suicide victim is not allowed into heaven Who actually decided this? When is the reason valid enough to qualify the means? He was a man that had lived a full life. He was always physically active and was a good father and husband. He had a terminal disease that would rob people of their body and the control of it. Recently he had deteriorated to a point that put him in a wheel chair. He was hardly capable of any quality of life and to make things worse, his wife has cancer. He pleaded for her to put him in a home so she could concetrate on her own battles. She refused as she could not leave her responsibility to someone else. So what is worse, watching a person die a little more each day and living constantly with their pain, or letting them stop the pain and misery? If the reason is valid enough, is it OK? Well you all know I am an anylitical person. I search for justification in peoples actions. Was he justified or is he doomed? Somehow, I can not blame him for his actions. He was not just thinking of himself. He felt strongly that his wife and family needed all their strength to fight the battles in front of them and besides, his was a losing battle anyway. There was no chance for him. Now, I remember back to the teaching, Jesus gave up his life for our sins...How is that so different than this? Oh I know it is a much grander scale but he had a choice..That is why they say he "gave" his life. He had a worldly reason and didn't he do it because his quest had become terminal? He had many enimies and he knew his life was doomed. He gave his life as the ultimate sacrifice for us. It was his final choice. Isn't this quite similar? This man had nothing left to give his family. His quest as a contributing human being was at it's end. All he had left was to ease the pain and suffering of others. His choice was to "give" his life for his family. Shouldn't we be proud of the fact that he realized how his family was suffering and even in the last stages of his disease, he was able to continue his roll of caretaker and remove the building burdon to them. Yes the pain is strong right now, but isn't it relieving to know he is no longer suffering? His wife and kids will no longer have to walk in even single day and see a flicker of his former self struggling to do the simplest task? Shouldn't we commend a person that knows when to throw in the towel? A person that at the very end was thinking of his family. He put his families life above his own. What more could he do as a human? I personally feel his soul will be excepted. |
| My Motto........Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.....I have said for years,this is my motto. I have always been one to try and be prepared..I leave early for work because I hate the thought of being late. I have this reputation; " the party is at 3:00, So we'll see you around 2:30 or so?" I pride myself on being prepared. I have trouble understanding why some people live by "hip pocket" control................... Crisis Management! That means, they wait for the crisis which is an emergency and then rush around to solve it. Some people love this feeling. That is why they become paramedics, fireman or any emergecy field. Now I don't like the last minute problems. I like smooth sailing and calm seas. So, If that is my motto and I don't like crisis management, why is my whole life centered around it? I look back at the last two weeks of my life and I don't see smooth sailing, I see constant turmoil. You know what my specialty is at work and in my life? Yup crisis management. People, and I mean all people depend on me to come through. Somehow, I am a rock. I must project this image or something. I am always solving some problem. usually it is because someone has an emergency. So why am I lying to myself? Why do I quote my motto when I live just the opposite? Not by the way I handle my life, but the way I interact with everyone else. So, If that is my calling and I am good at it, then why do I hate it? I don't want the problems, I dread the thought of them breaking down my door......but when they show up, I jump into action......I quickly evaluate the situation, calculate the best course, figure the best way to minimize the damage, then handle the problem! I usually do this very well. In most cases I am handling numerous problems at the same time. When I reach the top and have commanded results, I feel good about what I did. I am proud, but I dread the next wave! Let me recap yesterday; I got up in the morning at 3:30 am. As I was jumping in the shower, my wife says, "Oh by the way, I think the van has a low tire, could you check it out before you leave?" Emergency one........Why didn't she tell me last night? Now I am rushing around to solve this. I get to work at 4:15 am. First one there so guess what no emergencies...Heha. My boss shows up. "Hey one of the guys told me yesterday that there was a problem with 40RT (one of our cranes) The battery was dead and it has to leave at 6:00. Emergency two and my mechanics don't show up until 6:00. Well I throw on my gloves and go check it out. My other boss shows up and procedes to tell me his son in law didn't check the antifreeze level in their Jeep and it was overheating...We just worked on this vehicle last week for the same problem...Emergency three! I will check it out I tell him. I crank up the computor and check out my shipments from yesterday. One was an overnight part for an emergency breakdown (I'm not even counting this one) and the factory didn't ship it like they promised.....Now I will have to call my customer and listen to them blame me. OK, four. We get cranking and as my mechanics put a boom together (this was an emergency breakdown as this customer abused his equipment) and even though I told them to support the cables as they installed becasue they could kink, they didn't and kinked them.....We had to pull it all back apart. Then the owner of this crane called to let me know he scheduled it for the next morning on a job. I explained that it would not be ready...He was mad, he said, "you told me you were putting it together today and it usually only take one day!" I precede to tell him that I not only said that but also said I would call him with our progress as you can never predict how these jobs will go.....Emergency five and six!!!! One of our crane operators calls and says he has a hydraulic leak and is limping into the shop, could we fit it in? My boss is pissed as the crane is scheduled to go to another job.......come to find out the operator knew yesterday about the leak and told my boss about it......So why is he pisssed at me? So we jump on this and get the crane back up and running. ... Number seven! My boss takes one of my mechanics because he has a pick that needs to be done and he forgot about it...now he needs an operator....Opps, number eight. Well this makes nine too because now I am short a mechanic and have to stop what I am doing to help the guys in the shop. My son calls, he was stopped for a light out on his truck and the cop said his license was suspended...he wrote a ticket for driving under suspension and was going to tow the truck. I know something is not right here because he has received nothing from the state and even though he had some tough times, he has not gotton a ticket in two years. So I jump on the phone to call the state and try to straiten it out.Number ten! My guys finally get the boom of the crane together and it looks like we will have it ready for the customer afterall........Oh no! Do you think thinks could go that well? No the guys messed up something in the boom because they were not paying attention to detail (yes I cautioned them about it too) and we have to pull the boom back out. My customer shows up and is not too happy. Now I didn't call him to say it was ready, he just hoped he could pick it up.... now he is mad because he wasted the trip.....Lets see that is emergency number elleven. We do actually get the boom back together and it is 5:45 pm. I call my customer to let him know we came through and it is ready for tomorrow. He says he is all set, the job was not an ----emergency ---- or anything and they will probably pick the crane up during the day or maybe Monday. My wife calls, "aren't you on your way home yet? I need some things. I have been running all around to get ready for the party tomorrow and I need your help!" She was planning a party for a co-worker and she waited until today to run around and pick up the gifts and refreshments......Somehow I couldn't say, "why didn't you do some of this stuff earlier?" Emergency number twelve! Now I am leaving work an hour late and I drive the service truck back and forth to work...so I am ready for ....emergencies..... As I leave the yard, I notice the gas gauge on the red line....right at E.. The guys used it during the day and neglected to fill it up..The building is all locked up, I know I can make it home but not back....When I get home, I take the lawnmower gas and throw two gallons in the truck. We will let this one slide and not call it an emergency. PHEW!!! I am tired just writing about it!! Did I mention that I have a motto? Yea lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part!!! So what do I do about my life? I know I bring these things on by allowing them and being the go to guy for everyone. Of course that is my whole job and appearantly my life! So how did I let myself get here? Maybe I need a new motto? SKi |
| I don't get frightened too often. In the last 50 years of my life, (I don't count the first one) I can only remember being really scared maybe a dozen times... I mean scared enough that you are sure death is knocking. I had planned on running track last night. I missed track Tuesday and figured I could make it up. Well I didn't feel like running around that black circle for 2 hours and besides it looked like rain was comming. On my way home, I decided to run in the woods instead. I love running in the woods and a light rain doesn't affect you as much there.There is a complex called Pineland that used to be a home for the Mental retarded and now it is a huge complex. This rich lady bought it and refurbished it. Now they grow vegetables and process milk, beef, all types of stuff. It is pretty much a working community farm. Anyway there are trails all through the woods and I have run a bunch of cross-country races there. there are literally 20 miles of trails going in all different directions. My workout is 60 second sprints. This helps develop speed and trains the body to run on lactate as a fuel. Usually lactate will build up in the muscles and cause cramps as you use the standard ATP fuel from oxygen. So what you do is sprint hard for 1 minute then walk until the heart rate is below 120, then sprint 1 minute again. You do this as long as you can stand it. Well, I'm in my fifth or sixth sprint and I hear this strange noise.......Kind of a deep, hollow, raspy but loud noise. Suddenly I "felt" a presence. Now this is hard to explain but if it has ever happened to you, then you understand and the rest of you will remember this story when it happens to you. It was a strong feeling, I knew something was there. Something was in the woods. I stopped, it was totally quiet..no birds, no wind but eerie silence, well except for my heartbeat which was extremely loud. I looked at my watch, wow it read 240 HR. That can't be right? My max is about 190. At 240 I would probably be dead...I look around, scanning the woods. all I see is shadows. Now my heartbeat is so loud and seemed to be echoing through the woods. I felt hunted. something was watching me and I racket my brain to figure out what to do. I assumed by the noise, it had to be something big, like a bear or moose. At that moment I heard rustling to the left of me. The normal calming essence of the woods had now turned to pure fear. It seemed so dark now. Was it always this dark? Were the shadows always this scary? My world was slipping from me as I visioned some animal using me to progress his own life. No one knew I was here. My brain went into overdrive. I am sure it can hear my heartbeat and I am so sweaty....To a wild animal that would be the smell of supper. I thought about how it made me feel when I could smell a big juicy steak cooking on the grill......hhmmn, Is that how a sweaty human smells to them? I am disappointed as my instincts are telling me nothing...no wise procedures, no escape. I know I can't run, as I just stopped sprinting so my energy level was low. I visioned in my mind trying to outrun a bear or moose...no that wouldn't work. I looked around quickly. What could I hide behind? Again I am disappointed. I am a man, I should be looking for a weapon, instead I am thinking retreat....You dummy, my brain screams, you know wild animals can smell fear! My thoughts start wandering. So what smart thing pops into my head? I have merely minutes to live and I think about the donut I decided no to eat earlier. Dam, I wish I had eaten it now. It looked so good....deep chocolate all covered in white powder. I wish I had it now, plus it would make a good desert for the meal I was going to be. You know it is funny, I always thought my life would flash before my eyes and I would contemplate my shortcomings. Instead I wish I ate that damn donut! Again that raspy noise penetrates the silence! I turned and looked to the left...I saw shadows moving.....I fully expected a huge stupid moose to come pounding out of the woods and stomp his hoofs through my body..I would be no match for a 1000 pound moose. They are a strange animal, instead of getting scared and running away, they get mad and run toward you. I guess they aren't too worried because of their size. Suddenly, I hear a loud rumbling and rapid pounding...bushes rustling......I could feel the earth rotating under my feet and the air felt extremely heavy...I could feel every breath...Long slow in...long slow out...why can't I catch my breath..why is it so loud....when would someone find my mangled body, crushed into the dirt of the trail and hardly recognizable? A galloping sound struck my ears and it was disappearing! It ran away! It was gone and the shadows faded. I wiped the sweat out of my eyes....suddenly I am glad I didn;t eat that donut. The threat is gone and so is the fear. Why was I so scared? I don't know. Was it really almost my last second of my life? Was I over reacting? I finnished my run, 3 more miles and when I came out of the woods, A guy was running in.....would I read about him in the morning? Should I warn him? I stop and turn just in time to see him disappear into the woods. Ski |
| Someone asked me recently...Are you a writer? Well am I? By average definition, I guess I am..I have written a few short stories and they were OK. I mean I didn't recieve any awards and Mr. Publisher is not knocking down my door for dibs on my first Novel. But, I did write a couple short stories and some people liked them....But what do I think? Hmmn, well My view of a writer is....well let me think...A writer can articulate on paper in an amazing way, they can force emotions out of the reader and cause them a revalation of sorts. Of course that is why they buy the book. Reading a good book puts the reader at the scene and they are part of the story.....SO do I do that? A writer understands The word and all its rules. He knows where that little comma goes and he (of course by writing he, I mean he/she, just to make that clear) understands what it takes to create a paraghraph that properly protrays the right structure. So do I do that? I think there must be degrees of writers, because I don't feel like one. I mean, I have only been writing for a little over a year and I didn't do esspecially well in English. I didn't go to college. I mastered Cs in high school and did not even graduate with my class. I did get a diploma a couple years later. I did not receive any formal training. I realize that when I read reviews on this site. They talk about things I barely understand....So in that sense, I guess I am not really a writer...No I would clasify me as a person that wrote a couple cute stories and can position a couple words in a way that radiates some of my emotion, but I doubt I have any type of future. I think I can relate it to Baseball. When you are young, you play Teeball...everyone helps you and you don't actually pitch. They put the ball on a Tee and you just stand up there and hit it....well the ball might go flying out into the outfield and you think you did real well..your parents clap and make you feel good...but you are not really a proffesional ball player...you just are a kid that plays ball and some day you might play minor little league, then major little league and finally senior league. Well you might get pretty good at it but then you go to high school and the real players try out for the team and you aren't good enough to make it. Does that mean I was never a ball player? I don't know the answer. Was I ever a ball player? Will I ever be a writer? My guess is no.....I had fun playing baseball but had no real talent....I like to write quiky little stories and people enjoy some of them...but to have enough talent to write a book that has any kind of world wide acceptance....well I think not. So if I realize that, will I be a better writer because of my admition? Yea I think so.... Because I understand my limitations. I will probably write some kind of book some day and I will have those hidden little thoughts of suddenly being discovered and finally get recognition for something special... But I also think the same thoughts about the lottery....Yea some day will be my day......I also wanted to be the Green Lantern and save people from the bad guys..... I was planning on being independantly wealthy when I turned 30, I wanted to win some huge race and have people everywhere know my name...I wanted a secret identity to hide my real self from the world...why? how could I be famous if my identity was secret? Well it all boils down to dreams...Yea I had dreams and I have dreams....will they come true?......Well you never know do you!! Wouldn't you be surprised if you found out that I was a the Green lantern and my secret identity was this mild mannered fiftyish guy that writes a couple cute stories, but after I shut off the computor.......I fly out of my window and do my part to save the poor people in trouble....I might even save you!!!! Ski |
| Well, I had two days off in row..hehaw...... Not that I rested or anything. I did a long run Sunday which was great. I ran down to twin brooks (high school cross-country course) And ran the trails there. Even though it was early (8:00am) the sun was strong and flickered as it peaked through the trees. Very calming to run through the woods. On the way there and back adout 2 miles on the road, I was bombarded with the aroma of Lilacs.. Ther are just out here and I didn't realize how many were on the sides of the road untill now.When I got home, I finished off with a refreshing dip in the pool and swam some laps --great start for the day!!! Then I worked on the pool shed and lazed around the pool for most of the day..(well not lazed, mowed lawn etc...) Water finally made it up to 70 degrees so some family members actually went in too. They still said it was cold!! Go figure, if it was bath water...well then maybe they would be happy..we could throw in some bubble bath and them little round soap balls and then find a hose to rinse off and cool off after... But they would probably complain that the hose is too cold! Oh my high lite of the day, I mowed my moms lawn..brought her a Subway sandwhich..(keeps her busy while I do her yard work) Then I put together the new wheel barrel My brother bought her for Mothers day (he was too busy to put it together and said the lawn wasn't tall enough to mow) So I got a 10 dollar fine for her lawn being unkept! Yea isn't that crazy..They drive a around the park looking for infractions...I call them revenuers..any way Thay send me the fine because my mom would react poorly( understatement here!) And they would prpbably kick her out... I should make my brother pay for it...Oh good thing he bought her a wheel barrel....now she has three of them! Ski |
| Morning all you lucky dogs that have just rolled over, your eyes blinking out the sand and your brain lazily starting it's journey to awakeness. You know you can lay there and just enjoy the waking moment...Make it last as long as you can..it is a moment in time that comes rarely in this fast pace world. I on the other hand had to flop right out of bed..A little later this morning (4:00am) felt good to get up late! I went down stairs and ran 4 miles (it was dark so I had to run inside) then I worked the upper body muscles a bit. Came up stairs at 5:00 and it was light out...ran right out and jumped in the pool...OH It felt so good!! Well a little cold but thats ok cause I was pretty hot (not that way bugz ha ha) So here I am at work and wishing I wasn't..............Oh whoa is me....Am I feeling sorry for myself or what!! At least it is a long weekend and I have Monday!!!! Have a good one people!! ski |
| I drove one and a half hours last night to watch my grandson play little league. I was rewarded with a big hit both times he was up to bat. He has been standing there not swinging lately and I gave him a little talk before the game. I just told him to line up his knucles, think of the sound of the bat hitting the ball,watch the ball hit the bat, relax and just swing....You won't hit if you don't swing ---at least go down swinging... well all he really needed was to relax and swing...his mind and body did the rest..he was so happy! So I get home late, 10:30 hit the sack then drag my sorry butt out of bed at 3:30 am.......Yea I was tired....well I stepped outside at 3:50 and the fresh warm air slapped me right across the face...the slamming essense of spring/summer swirling through the morning air. I took a deep breath and could feel the negative ions charge my system with renewed energy. The stars created a sparkling blanket that gently lay across the sky and hugged the world tight with the gentle touch of a mother's love. The random peeping of the frogs broke the silence of the night as the blossoms on the apple trees reflected the moons rays...I love early morning..I wish I had time to go for a run.... So I found out why I love the outdoors so much...you ready? Well dirt has Micro bio organisms in it called Faka. They create negative ions and that mixes into the air. This becomes sikkim and when brought into the body the sikkim produces serotonin and causes us to feel relaxed and really good... so when you are having a bad day, just go play in the dirt...I always love to play in the dirt when I was a kid...I must have been real happy then! It is supposed to be in the 80s today...I will surely be swimming.......bye.....Ski |
| OK, ... I will admit, I like American Idol.. I enjoy the singing competition and sad to say even the magnatude of stupid, dumb, ugly people that obviously can not sing. You can not convince me that someone heard these people and said, "you are so good, you have to try out for the show." How can these people rationalize their self-esteem for a little fame and money? I mean, do they negotiate? Did Big bird say, "well I will come on for that much, but it will be extra for the belly flash and butt swing." What kind of person does it take to make the phone call? Who decides? They must have a panel that meets two nights a week during the show to decide who is stupid, fat or ugly enough to be invited to the final big night. Do you think they have a wish list? I can hear them know, "hey, do you think the monkey boy will come on the show? how much should we offer him?" or, "The money boy called back, he said he will come but we have to let him get a dig in on Simon and he want's to say it twice." "Well do you think Simon will agree" "Sure we just let him make believe he didn't hear it." "Hey, let's have the dumb, fat kid on too and we can put them in the couples gig." So the fat kids agrees, comes on the show, and the most intellegent thing he can come up with in front of millions of people, his chance to be discovered is, "ya, lots of red carpet." I don't understand. What is going through these people's heads? Do they know we all are making fun of them? We are laughing and the show is cashing in on their downfalls. The monkey boy rationalizes... "well I wouldn't be here if Simon didn't make fun of me, sure it hurt my feelings at first but I am fine with that." Is he really fine? Wouldn't you think he would go home, sign his check, deposit it in his bank account, look in the mirror and just cry? I mean at first he denied that he looked weird, does he admit it to himself now? Appearantly he is OK with that, now that he is famous....but is he really famous? No he is just selling his soul and letting people laugh...... I don't believe it doesn't bother him! Could you imagine coming on WDC and feeling good about everyone laughing at your creative writing? Everone making fun of you and then admitting to yourself that you just plain stink? I would delete this site and never come back and that is what I should do..... If I am that bad, why am I here. But if you pay me, well that is totally different. Now I will stand proud. Because I am famous.....famous for being totally uncreative and having no talent what so ever....And I am proud of that? I just don't quite get it I guess... maybe someone can shed some light....Because I know some of those bad singers are hurting inside...It is just human nature to want people to like you and think you are good at your passion........ But I still sat there and laughed.....what does that make me? Ski |
| Morning everyone.... well night for some.. My schedule today is a million miles an hour so this will be short. I hope to get back on later... we will see... I am a little tired. Ran track last night and it was speed work so we did what they call a time trial. with that you run a mile as fast as you can..I did it in 6 min and 37 seconds...a pretty good time for old gieser.(well I am old.. I don't really know what a geiser is? I should find out huh?)... Any way then we had to run 400 meters ..eight of them at the same speed and then 8 x100 meters 110% faster..I ran around that black circle 30 times last night..I am surprised I made it home and didn't drive in a circle and end up back at the track..So I am pretty tired this morning...plus I got home so late that I missed American Idol and only had 2 pieces of toast for supper....But at least I made it out of bed this morning and here I am...So like I said short today.... here goes.... Hi...Bye! Ski |
| Morning friends. You know who you are. Well did anyone see Schrek 3? You know what I love about those movies? Well At face value people would say "What a funny cartoon", "I like the adult humor" or some might really hate it because they think it crosses certain lines. Well I view it different than that. I think it is genius. That's right. Think about it this way. Every character at face value protrays a certain image, but the character from inside shows something totally different. We laugh because we can relate to the inner turmoils of them. The Donkey is just a jackass, not too exciting on the outside. The personality that radiates is a very intelligent, whitty, funny and caring soul. Shrek is an Olgar and is supposed to be ugly, gross, uncaring and a horrible beast. His personality shows us something totally different....See what I mean? This movie is a lesson for all of us....Allow the person inside to shine before you judge them otherwise you may miss out on a great relationship......Don't be quick to form an oppinion. Anouther thing we are taught here is that we all have the things that are important to us and we cherish. Schrek had deep feelings for the dirty swamp... to him that was bliss, that was his home and he longed to be there...it is what he enjoyed though most of us would not understand why he would feel that way about a dump hole. It is his roots....we all have them and we must respect that even if we think we have grouwn past them...Our roots will never leave us..they are what makes us...Doesn't mean we can't change and look for better things, just means we should not forget them and admit thay are our essense, our core. Now the little gingerbread man pooping out a candy....well that was just plain funny.... no messages there!! Ski |
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But, honestly, I take the good with the bad, even when it is really bad. Emotions are a huge, huge part of who we are and sometimes holding them back doesn't allow us to truly experience life.
I don't really know what it takes to be a writer but heck, I like to do it and it seems the more I write the more I like what I write. That, I think is the most important thing about being a writer. 