Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This poem made me want to cry. You cry for help was 'felt'. To the friend who grabbed that outreached hand, "Thank-you!"
I love that you ended the poem on a positive note. it shows that there is always hope.
this poem was short and simple and no raw in your face phrases, but gently spoke...oh the many faces of an addict.
seriously, public speaking. Also, i know you have a lot of these poems in your book you wish to publish, but I do not think all of them. Do you plan on compiling these into a book??
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Okay, I am not saying you are always right, but you were in this case...i have not read all your work. LMBO. Go head and say "I told you so". You know you want to.
This is another effective poem. I think it would be a great poem for teens to read. It has a simple, understandable format. I can see this being used as a tool. I really think you should travel to high schools and share your story. Have you considered that? You own personal voice, compiled with your work would be so effective I feel in reaching those troubled teens. if you compile these poems into a booklet and then take to public speaking, your message would not be forgotten after you leave the auditorium.
I remember in High school, a guy...some guy who used to be some kind of Tv star coming and speaking of drugs and his personal story. It was touching but hard-hitting. He made an impact, even if it only stopped one child. I think others would be able to see themselves in you. You appear like any other girl...not a druggie, addict or someone who would be a felon. No one would know had you not shared your story and that is what makes you so effective. You affect people with your bluntness, but also with your humanity.
seriously, we will take more about this..but have you considered public speaking? girls need role models too....
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
A collection of poems by a very talented and creative author.
Things that made me purr:
I especially enjoyed 'Lincoln High Marching Band'. It reminded me of being woken in the morning by the beating of drums and horns. I can laugh about it now, I didn't then
I also Loved 'Butterflies'. It was simply beautiful.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
Who fins happiness in swimming should fins be finds?
mountais should this be mountains?
I looked ove to the meadow is ove a misspelling? Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
I am also Native American- blood and soul. I wonder if this is understood by those who have not experienced something like that which you talk. I do not think this would only talk to those with native American ties but to anyone who has opened their mind to any spirit helpers that are out there.
Things that made me purr:
This was truly a beautiful read. I did not look for any spelling or grammar errors, rather I drew from it spiritually. I also ignore (or try) my spirit guides as they can be quite frightening and sometimes I just do not want to hear what they say.
Now, I believe.
Such a calling does not present itself to all. This is something I wonder about as well. I am not sure that other do not get the calling, but it would appear so, or perhaps they are just ignoring it. I actually have more then one spirit guide but an owl seems most active. It is an odd experience and easy to ignore as it is not 'natural'.
I find joy amidst the coves of pines,
the branches of great oaks and the sweet scent of maple after a pre-spring rain. beautiful. I feel most at peace in the mountains. I can be on the busy streets of Carson City (in Nevada) and just seeing those huge mountains in the backdrop gives me an immense sense of peace.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
The only thing that I noticed is that i feel this is more prose then poem. The difference between the two is so slight and highly debated, but it just read as prose to me... a beautiful chain of thoughts.
Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
This is a sweet little poem of you love-r. It does have elements of seduction without being over the top or smutty.
Things that made me purr:
The use of metaphor and similes was wonderful. Your descriptive imagery allowed me to feel what you felt when writing this piece.
I actually like that this poem did not rhyme. It worked for this. I just felt, not read this piece.
I also thought the use of powerful and appropriate adjectives through out this piece made for a clearer picture of what you felt for this man.
It ended on a sweet note, making it more about love than lust.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
darn, you will have to do without any suggestions regarding this piece.
Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
I am the first to rate and review this Halloween poem! I think it was a terrifically fitting poem. I love the images. It sets the 'mood'.
Things that made me purr:
The plot was suitable to the season. It was just 'scary' enough. It would be something that you could read to children to give them just the right amount of 'scary'.
I loved the rhyme scheme and the flow. the flow was spot on. I am assuming, without counting, that you paid attention to syllable count- something I need to do more often, even with my free verse.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
I have no suggestions, only I hope you submitted this into a contest. It was very well done.
Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Hi Sherri! I choose to look and 'review' your precious grandchildren. I am actually reviewing the photo album.
I love the photos of your grand babies. So Precious!
I wish you would add some photos of you. I took the plunge and posted a photo of me (ick) you should too! I love eventually putting a face to the persona'. Looking through your port trying to find something to review, I saw how much people love you and how much you do for the WDC community. You are an amazing person and it is easy to see why you are a moderator. You give more then you get back, except for I know the people who love you have to give you tons of love. I remember you were the first person who reached out to me as a newbie. I appreciated it and felt so welcomed. How you spotted me in the midst of all the newbies, I have no idea. You may welcome all newbies in that fashion, and if so...that is tons of work. I just appreciate you!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
A short story about the Salem Witch Trials. A very well written, non -fiction?, story about what went on in Salem. This story suits the season.
Things that made me purr:
I really liked the quotes in between the story. The were very effective and they made the story different.
The story is told in a very interesting fashion, making it an interesting read that holds the readers attention. The character build up was good. The story seems to be told from the first person perspective as one person is telling the story to another.
I liked the link at the end of the story.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
Some, just some of the sentences were a little choppy. I think certain ones could be combined to make the story flow smoother, but the spelling and grammar seemed well written for the most part. This is the only thing I could note as perhaps making for a better read.
Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
What this pumpkin thought of what you wrote:
This was a very funny story of what must of been one of your most embarrassing moments. It was cute, in I am assuming, you were both rather young.
Things that made me purr:
The relationship between you and you sister. How you both worked together to TRY and solve your problem, even if the outcome was not good.
Spelling and grammar seemed spot on. What an enjoyable read it was.
Don't think I am a witch, but I have some suggestions for you!
The only thing that would perhaps help this story is, if you are going to use such a light font you may want to increase font size. It would make it easier to read.
Boo! Hope this review did not put a scare into you. I would like nothing more for you to keep carving out those stories!
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Woman, I will have read every single item in your port by the time all my reviewing groups fill your packages! LOL
I looked through your images folder. I knew i had not seen these and have not reviewed them.
I love the phoenix image. I think that is my favorite out of all the beautiful images. I also love that you credited who made them and told us what the images were being used for.
A very nice folder Now off to try and find something else I have not reviewed before
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
A poem written with certain criteria: CinqTroisDecaLa Rhyme with ten lines, AABBCCCABC and a syllable count of each line is 15. Device: using the 5 senses, prompt: the color green
I have problems when trying to rhyme and stay within a set syllabic count. I can do one or the other, but when I try to do both--well just say I need much more practice.
Not only did you have to follow a rhyme scheme and a syllable count, but you also had to address the five senses and the color green.
I think you did an excellent job at this form while making a creative piece of work using the prompts.
The poem told of a morning walk where you remembered someone from the past. As you walked on, filling your senses with the beauty of nature, you saw this person in everything. It was a little bittersweet...as the person is gone and you were obviously still hurting.
The only slight issue I had with this poem was the use of the word, 'time' twice and so close together. i would have loved to see you use another word, but I know how difficult that can be with trying to stay true to the syllabic count.
An ode to a dear friend of yours and of mine, Kristi.
It is written in acrostic form. I love how you did this. I also love how easily the sentences flow together, rather then be separate from each other. It is like you would never know you HAD to start the sentence with a particular letter.
I am so very sure that Kristi loved this! I think you did a wonderful job at conveying how you feel about your sister and friend.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I saw this poem on the public review forum and after all the praises being sung about it, I had to check it out for myself.
I am assuming this is for a contest because of the prompt to use song titles. I noticed you used the Naga Uta form (what is that?). I would have loved a short description of the form as I am unfamiliar with many of the forms used and learn so much when reviewing.
I loved the entire poem. It drew me in and I could picture myself in the scene.
I sit in my chair,
guitar on my lap, unplayed,
and listen to the
sound of cold November rain; unplayed shows up on my computer as a misspelled word...just wanted to note that. I think it is fine. Who knows with mozilla. lol Like I said, this is lovely and I can picture myself being in the poem. I can relate your words to my own feelings and to me, that tells me it is a great poem.
I am glad I followed the initial reviewer and read this piece.
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is review 3/3
I found another Christmas song parody! Yeah! I love Christmas. I am going to California to see my grand baby and daughter. Yeah! Okay..on to the review
I loved the tone of this. It was so bah humbug It stayed true to the tune when I sung it out loud and yes, I sung it out loud while everyone stared at me. I wish it was a little longer, but I think this is a short song isn't it? I still would have loved you to continue on. It was that good!
Defrinite rhyme scheme that flowed effortlessly. another classic in the making
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is review 2/3
I know what contest this was written for...I think. Is the contest over and judged? I do not want to award an item that is up for an awardification elsewhere.
It is too early to be getting into the Christmas spirit, but then again the stores already have out the decor
I loved this play on the popular Xmas tune. I thought it was cleverly done and had me laughing out loud.
I loved how I could sing it and everything made sense and rhymed!!!!
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is review 1/3 of the package you won in my Fall Fest Fundraiser
What a terrifying read. I thought maybe this was an entry in the not so scary Halloween contest, but it had a twist at the end. It was not all in fun, it was pure horror. It had a mix of lightness with the kids and then twisted and turned dark. You led the reader in, making me feel safe and then a kind of boom. Makes me not want to go trick-or-treating...I mean, makes me not want to let my kids... yes my kids go trick-or treating.
A definite rhyme scheme. The rhythm was a little different for me. I had to go back a couple of times and change the 'tone'.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Hi GabriellaR45! My name is omniblueeyes and I am pleased to have the honor of reading some of your work.
Overall Impression:
I am reviewing you for Rising Star's Member to Member reviews. I decided to start at the top of the list and work my way down. I browsed through your port and saw some items that you requested no further reviews on and then I went to your highlighted items and they were all about WDC and then I stumbled upon this item. It is another activity where you give others a place to shine.
Creativity/Impact:
You have created a beautiful community garden on WDC. What an unique idea and so special in that you made it for everyone.
What I personally liked the Most:
Your instructions on how to plant your very own garden in your port are very easy to understand. I actually want to go and take a picture of our beautiful fall tree (most of the leaves are already lost) and send it in with a poem. Okay, I admit...I just stopped the review to go and take some pictures of the tree. It is so beautiful and wanted to add it to your garden. Okay, back to the 'item' I am reviewing. The image you have accompanying the directions and your little port hole into the garden is precious.
Suggestions:
I love seeing all the photos and poems that people around WDC have contributed. i would love for more to add to this totally neat community garden. I think it should be a rising star activity. heehee
Summary:
I love how dedicated you are to WDC and the people in it. You folder is crammed full of groups and activities that you put together for everyone to enjoy. I think you are an awesome example of a WDC leader and as a person. Expect my addition to your garden soon!
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A poem based on angels, one of my most fave topics
Suggestions:
I am not sure if you added this word for rhythm or syllable count but I thought in the first verse, the line: May they finally keep your footsteps sure. 'finally' could have been left out. I read it smoother without that word.
In the last verse: May they bear the burden of your sorrow too, I do not think you need the word 'too
What I personally liked the Most:
The topic is dear to my heart. I liked how you kept true to your rhyme scheme.
May Angels steer you into morning dew,
May they warm you and live in your heart,
May they bear the burden of your sorrow One of my favorite series of lines. Beautiful!
Summary:
I enjoyed the poem and look forward to reading more of your work
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This was another highlighted piece. It is you "The Best of my portfolio'. I think this is brilliant. Portfolios are hard to navigate and while I have links to my many folders, this takes it to a new, more fun level.
I love how you have categories to each genre, activities, links to reviewing groups,cnotes, ect. You do not list all your items, just examples including a link to your newest creation. I love the color schemes and the image.
I have an assignment to organize my port...I am asking permission not to copy, but use your example as sort of a help tool. would this be okay? I am bookmarking this page and wait to hear if I may use your fab port as my kind of template.
Seriously, the best port summary I have seen! It is clean and neat and not cluttered.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I do not normally go around reviewing cnote shops, but you had this highlighted in your port and i realized it was important to you that it be seen. I 'seen' and I liked what I saw.
Suggestions:
I have none!
What I personally liked the Most:
The anime (is that spelled right) theme is not usually my favorite thing, but yours are so very cute. I love the one 'stopping by' one. I want to take her home with me and cuddle her My daughters would love these, especially my older one. She actually dresses like some of these cnote chars. lol
I also love the affordable price and the header image (I do not have one in my own shop yet).
You have a variety of cards, something for everyone!
Summary:
I would recommend this cnote shop to anyone, but especially fans of the genre!!!
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooklyn
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is one of the most inspirational pieces I have ever read. What a positive thing this is! After being diagnosed with Leukemia, you have turned from shock and horror to appreciating the little things so many of us take for granted. I think you are a wonderful example to all of us, not only those who may have a life-threatening ailment or disease. My bother-in-law has been given a short time to live. He has testicular cancer (stage 5?) and he is not taking it well. He is angry and hurting and is lashing out out at those who love him most. I was hoping he could do a video diary for his teen son and live what life he has left to the fullest...but then again, I am not the one with that diagnoses. It is easy to say what we would do if...
I am amazed by your strength, bolstered by your positive attitude, grateful for your honesty in sharing with this and in awe os who you must be as a person!
Thanks to the mod blitz, I have had the honor of reading this truly inspirational piece.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Oh, this is sad. It is a poem about unrequited love. I can feel your pain through your words. The plea for her to see you as more then a friend...
One part that confused me was:
You think we can make amends? were you in a fight? If so, it makes sense. If not, then I am not sure it does
The poem followed a rhyme scheme and it did not feel forced. I wish you would have written more. I know, I know, we all scream for more. more, more.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I see this won first place in FanFiction 16. I am not aware of what that contest is or what the critera is. It would be nice if you linked the page or contest so we could all share in what it is.
I read this and while well written, as far as I could tell (sorry, punctuation is one of my weaknesses). The subject matter was a little confusuing to me. This seems to be a chapter of a longer story?
With Nano coming up, I hope you expand on this idea. I sense that Abby is in trouble by McGee's family.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
I wonder if you are a trucker because I have been married to a couple of truckers and the descriptions of the trucks and the rest stops, along with your reference to 'lot lizards' makes me believe there is some connection. If not, you have done an excellent job with portraying the 'trucker scene'.
I enjoyed this story. For some reason, I passed it by and am glad I gave it a chance. It is a well written and touching story.
Suggestions:
Pulling the cheap chopsticks that held it free I am not sure why this sounds wrong to me. The chopsticks were holding the hair up and the reference of free in the place it is seems to make it seem as the chopsticks were holding it free. You may want to consider revising slightly.
There are two instances where you use adjectives at the end of a sentence where they might be better placed before the actions of Kara;
Kara tracked his slow progress across the parking lot intently.
stand out as Kara approached him tentatively one example would be: as Kara tentatively approached him. I am not sure what the 'rules' are regardding this and I might be wrong, but it is something that caused me to pause and take notice.(/c)
What I personally liked the Most:
I liked the plot. It was well thought out. The characters were well defined. The descriptive words used to describe the trucker, Kara and even the waitress and manager made me able to picture each one. I hated that manager, btw
The spelling and punctuation was spot on, as far as I could see.
I hope you continue with this story as the end really left it open. I could see this turning into a great love story
Summary:
If you do add to this, please let me know. I would love to read more of the continuing story of Kara.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This review is On behalf of Harley D. Palmer in regards to the sunshine review-a-thon
Overall Impression:
I loved how you compared separation in our lives to the ocean. The way you described the rocks being left alone and the sang being parched and cracked because of the waves leaving made perfect sense. The imagery was beautiful.
Suggestions:
I noticed the word 'naught' a few times. i would suggest finding another word to replace at least one of them.
Then, whispers soft the gibbous moon, the word then... I am not sure why you chose to use this as it did not seem to follow a sequence of events. The first verse stood a lone. Are you trying to connect them? It is just something I thought was a little out of place, but you do need a lead in to the next verse. I am not sure how to correct it without changing much of the last line in the previous verse...but you want to make it sound like a flowing poem from verse to verse and that part made me pause. Then, to me, 'after that' such and such happened.
What I personally liked the Most:
Foamy fingers of brine
stroke the smooth cheeked pebbles,
and gurgle with laughter
as they retreat to sea. beautiful start to this lovely poem. I especially like the third line and how it describes the water washing over the rocks.
Summary:
I love your writing style. I am glad you are on every review board I see. I enjoy your work!
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