Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A very cool twist of the fairy tale of Tom Thumb. It is told from the doctor's (the doctor who 'created' and delivered Tom) point of view. It has quite the surprise ending. It was very shocking how poor Tom came to his demise. Poor thing. I think Joy has a twisted sense of humor
Positive points:
The characters were well developed. They all had nicknames. I liked the informal tone of the story, it was refreshing and sounded much like a fairy tale you would read in Grimms (those are also twisted fairy tales ).
Suggestions
I was really too busy reading and enjoying this tale to notice many errors. The one thing that stood out was the following:
You wrote:Nobody has heard from him ever since. just my humble opion, but i do not think you need the word 'ever' in that sentence.
This is a very beautiful poem that speaks the truth but uses some wonderful simile. (or is it metaphor?) I promise people, I WILL take a class at New Horizons when they reopen
Autumn,
mother of winter, sister of summer very nice!
I think you may want to read this over and check punctuation. I think it needs a little work.
Nice poem! I enjoyed reading it. thanks for sharing!
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Hi! Harry I am happy to be reviewing one of your pieces today!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A set of poems about the mockingbird.
Creativity/Impact:
I like how you paired two similar poems together in one post. It read much like a short story.
What I personally liked the Most:
I especially loved the second poem. It was almost a spiritual experience.
The scientist in me says
he sings to proclaim this territory his,
he sings to attract a mate.
Ahh, but the poet in me says
the mockingbird accepts as his solemn duty
to fill the dead of night – I like to believe that the mockingbird does just what you said. He sings for us. He sings to let us know there will always be light and song at the end..or should I say the beginning of the new day?
Suggestions:
I am not how to fix this or if it even needs fixed. I just had to read differently than I usually do with poetry. You have no natural pause at the end of your sentences where I would normally pause. I then realized you used punctuation so it read well the second time. So, I guess I would suggest that 'I' slow down and pay attention?
In the second poem, there were parts that seemed not to flow as easily with or without punctuation. The words were beautiful, but in one part (in the middle) when Man is most susceptible to
depression and despair –
with song to speak to Man’s soul, I think it would be good to remind us that it is the bird's song Just my opinion.
Summary:
I am glad i had the pleasure of reading these two pieces of art.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
A short and not so sweet poem about parents who do not practice what they preach. I can see this on a poster in many different places.
You should add a image for this.
There is a rhyme scheme and it is done well. The spelling and punctuation is good...good.
I just don't have much to say as this was a very short poem, direct and to the point. Well done.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing. This review is being brought to you on behalf of Helping Hearts and The Paper Doll Gang
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is another poem I KNOW I have read but evidently did not even comment on.
A poem from a mother to a daughter. This could be any teen. I swear! Teens are not even human during the years of 14-18! LOL
I know what this poem is about and I know you were probably not a teen. Did you mom write this or did you write it? I just wanna hug your mom. Now go hug her for me
This is a free verse scheme so there is no rhyming scheme to address. Of course the punctuation is correct, lol. The poem is written in a way that those who know your story can tell exactly what your mom was going through and what you were doing, but I think any mother can elate to most of the words here. Thank God, Kat has not started chewing gum.....yet.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Yeah! I found a poem in your addiction folder I have not read. It sounds familiar, perhaps I read and did not review it. I really need to read and review all of your poems properly. I think I went through your folder one night and read all your poems and many just left a short comment.
This is a poem about addiction to meth. It is short but says a lot. It follows a rhyming scheme and doesn't sound forced but paints a scary picture of what a meth addict actually looks like when in the midst of addiction.
On those days when you feel happy
be sure not to smile too wide.
Your addiction is more than obvious
with just one glimpse inside. meth eats up people's teeth. I am not entirely sure why this is. Perhaps it is because when you are hyped, you do not eat or even drink much. You salivate very little. Also, as a former Cocaine addict, I would rub it on my gums. Funny, when I was an addict, I thought my skin and bones and my teeth and everything looked wonderful. Now, when I look at those pictures from that time, I am disgusted. I look like an addict (at least if you know me...it is a definite difference). Glassy eyed and way way too skinny. I look pale and all the makeup in the world and nice clothes can not cover a body being ravaged by drugs.
Thank you Kristi, for painting an accurate picture of what a junkie looks like.
UMM, lol. What would you have done if I would have rated this a 5 star? I have seen this 'bad poetry' contest mentioned. I just don't get it. Obviously, I am clueless because i felt this poem was deserving of much more. I saw some hidden meaning and twists and thought it was cute...
Wow! This is an excellent poem about depression. It does not state this is what it is about in your title description, but I recognize the symptoms. If it is not about depression, then you have achieved the ability (rare one) to create a poem that can hold many meanings for different people.
The rhyme scheme was apparent and not forced. The flow and rhythm was spot on. Spelling grammar were fine. the words are the most striking feature.
Visit not this cell of torture;
Come not bearing gifts.
Look here not to spread sunshine;
Nor spirits here to lift. I can relate. There are times I am just in so deep, nothing and bring me back. I eventually come out of my cell and join the living and laughing, but strangely that cells offers a comfort of its own.
For such a young author, your thoughts run deep. This poem is filled with some excellent questions concerning why we go to war. The flow was a bit off but you stay consistant with the rhyme scheme.
Everyone wants peace and harmony,
Yet it's hard to obtain.
Humans' difference of opinions
Makes it almost impossible to gain. is this not the sad fact?
Hopefully, we will come to find a better way of finding peace than fighting. It doesn't make much sense.
You state above the story is unfinished so it really makes it hard to rate this. I can tell you what i think of the story thus far however.
This sounds like it could turn out to be an excellent story with work. I hope you develop the characters of Jenny and Jamie and also makes this into a magical tale. I am not sure what magic the tree house holds, but i am hoping it holds some magic for the two. I loved the description of the tree.
I would go over this also and check grammar. I know you are not finished and would love to read it when you are done. Please email me and I would love to come back and read some more about the tree house and the strange forest (you have not mentioned, really, wy the forst is strange.
I absolutely loved this poem about why we should all smile. The only part that I stuck on is the break of the flow with this line: As lemonade does on a hot day or the beauty of autumn's leaves. it is much longer than the rest of the lines and breaks the flow apart. I would consider revising or adding a new line. i realize this would make one stanza longer than the others, but it may be better than having the flow interrupted so much. It really almost hurt the poem.
The puncuation is also a little off. I would end each verse with a period or take out punctuation completely. We are drawn to stop naturally at the end of each line.
Did you know it brightens the face?
Drawing them near God's infinite grace.
For a smile comes from a joyful heart,
Loved expressed is just the start, beautiful!
I see a rhyme scheme and it seems to follow throughout. I just think the message was beautiful and thoughtful and brought a smile to this face... see-->
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
A very cute poll. I did not know this until recently, but you can expand a poll. i think this is a n excellent question and would have loved to see why others picked the answer they did.
I Picked the dreaded lima bean as I figured I would be left uneaten. lol
I would love to see this expanded to include a comment box that everyone can see. If you change it, please mail me...I would love to revisit this poll! Very unique!
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Welcome back to WDC! I am assuming that your lack of 'work' is due to your just getting back into the swing of things. This folder intrigued me and I was disappointed to find it empty. You description of what it would contain, if it was not empty, would have been something I would have loved to read. Same goes for other folders. I hope you work to fill these soon. If you do, please feel free to mail me as I would enjoy reading from this folder especially.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Now updated to review all case colors. Help make "Halloween Review Stew" and win prizes! by Brooke is plotting.
Happy WDC Birthday!
umm....LMBO!!!!!!
This is the funniest poem I have read in a while. I do not know what it is about farts that make us all giggle or act shocked. I know that just reading this, I was taken back at the reference to a natural bodily function. You gave new meaning to the word fart; a good meaning where farts are almost revered. LOLOLOL
The poem did not flow as nicely as it could have, but the story told made up for that. I enjoyed this and got quite a laugh this morning and for that, I thank you!
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
This is your last review due to you. I hope you thank Hannah. I will thank her for sending me to such a talented poet. It was a pleasure reading some of your pieces.
For a first try at a different form, you did beautifully. I do wish you would have posted the style in your post. It always helps me to see if the author followed the 'rules as well as gives me knowledge about the form used. i love to try new forms.
I am unsure what the rhyme scheme or syllabic count was, if there was any for this poem. I do recognize a beautiful poem. This poem speaks to me about hope, even if you are feeling depression. It is a wonderful, uplifting poem!
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A very sad poem. I have not read the prequel to this but this speaks volumes.
Positive points:
You express your pain and confusion well. It is heartbreaking to read your words. You words make me feel for you. I have also felt what you have written in regards to my own depression and anxiety.
Suggestions
I think that you should not automatically capitalize each sentence as some are continuation of the previos. Because you ahve used punctuation, this is not seeming to be correct.
Another entry written for a contest that no longer exists. Why not open it yourself? I would love to try and write a 100 word story without repeating one word.
Vivid imagry was used in describing the attributes of a tribal woman. She does indeed sound beautiful. This piece really makes one look at the indigenous people differently.
I appreciated being able to read this. I loved picturing the scene in my head.
This was written for the 100 word, no repeat contest that is no longer going on.
This was an amazing story, especially considering the constraints of the rules. You speak of the black widow in such 'knowing' terms, lol. I love the ending. It is indeed what they are named for...those acts of feeding on their lover.
I wish someone would reopen the 100 word, no repeat contest. I have not tried it. perhaps i shall just challenge myself. I imagine it would be hard to create a story with a beginning, middle and end without repeating a single word.
What a cute idea for a group. I love the images used. The group will surely be providing smiles all around WDC.
Is this groups active right now? I noticed on your handle that you recently came back to WDC. I would love to be part of this. it sounds like such a positive thing!
You have some centering problems at the top of this. You may want to see why it is not all centered or if you just indented or pushed the tab button. It looks a little out of place.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
There is a great moral to you short story about two different kinds of people. the characters in this story both pick a flower. the flowers are equal in beauty but one man must find out WHY the flower is beautiful and in the process of trying to discover the why's, the flower loses its beauty, at least to him. The second man just accepts that something is beautiful and appreciates it without questioning why it is what it is.
i would have liked to see the second man's story expanded just a bit.
The message was clear though when reading the story and I appreciated what you were saying.
Spelling and grammar, punctuation and such were great.
Reviewers welcome
Stop by and review a member celebrating their WDC Anniversary!
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
After reading your blog and your love of art, I just had to stop by your cnote images and see what you have created. i noted that you have a cnote shop created by another and am hoping that I am reviewing your own work.
I like the animal theme...really not just animals bit mythical animals such as unicorns.
The art work is very pretty. Did you paint any of these? One looks like a definite pastel or watercolor (not arcylic?) painting.
I know you are an artist. Is there any way to scan your work onto the computer and share with us all? I am not sure if you are a graphic artist or a painter. I am assuming the latter.
Hello, my name is omniblueeyes I am pleased to have the honor of reading a piece of your writing.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I am going to keep saying it until it becomes true: "I wish we could subscribe to blogs here at WDC". I tend to forget to check in with friends or even read blogs in general. Most of the time, I fall into one by accident.
I would like to extend my apologies for not writing you sooner and inquiring about your health. i have noticed your tag and have meant to send you a cnote or an email and ask if you were okay. reading your blog, I understand a lot more. I am sending lots of healing vibes and prayers your way.
I noticed that you displayed some work in a gallery. Congrats! That is quite an accomplishment. I also noticed you referred to something called 'taka'. I did not realize you were not from the United States. it is so neat to realize that we have friends from all corners of the world. I also wanted to congratulate you on the sale. You made more than you needed. I think that shows that you have a career to fall back on. Your love of art is evident through your blog.
I hope that you get to feeling better and better about yourself soon. ((mental hugz))
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
Overall Impression:
A very descriptive poem describing this authors description of a 'story'.
Positive points:
I had to refer to this page: http://knowgramming.com/metaphors/metaphor_and_sim... I am still not sure of the slight differences between metaphor and simile. I believe what you used here was a good use simile to describe a story.
I loved the way you used color to describe the different emotions an author can feel while writing a story. I think the words flowed in this free verse. I enjoyed it very much! It was a beautiful way to describe writing...
you turned red
dripping with the blood and pain
of my heart you so mercilessly
tore open This described perfectly how I feel when writing some of my painful stories or poetry!
Suggestions
The poem seemed a little unfinished to me. I wonder if adding another verse anchoring the entire piece would make it feel solidly complete.
Please take this review for what it is; my personal opinion. I am not a professional editor, nor do I portray myself to be an expert in reviewing. My intent is to share my feelings concerning your work with you, nothing more. It is my sincere hope that you will find something useful in it and disregard the rest.
I am visiting your port and offering this humble review because you signed my guest book and hopefully filled your end of the deal and reviewed the person who signed below you
Hi Sarah!
I am glad you are back on WDC! I came looking for something to review and came upon this contest. I have the perfect cliche piece but the contest ended this round *cries*.
I love the idea of this contest, very imaginative. I love cliches and use them frequently, at least that is what my husband tells me
I am so glad you put the definition of exactly what a cliche is for those that do not know. You even provided links to examples of cliches. The layout of the page is nicely done! The rules are easily understood.
The prizes you offer to winners are very nice and an incentive for people to enter. Do you have this listed on the contest page when you open it? If not, you should. i miss tons of contests because they are not listed there. that is where I look when looking for..well contests
So, when are you going to open this up again? LOL
Thank you for the read and Write on!
Omni
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