Oh,this is a sad one! That must have been a sharp crack if it was so strong it broke the poor guys neck. I guess you could win with this one. It definitely got my attention.
Part of me wants this to be longer so it can have a happier ending. He could be paralized from the neck down and then it's got more potential for healing. lol
You did a great job. I'm not sure why you don't do more of these. You did a great job.It may end drastically but it's still great.
I enjoyed the poem you wrote. I never thought of the candle flame as eternal. They never last.lol I never thought of a candle flame being eternal. Thanks for the thought to ponder.
As for the candle warming you, I'm not sure about that. lol How big is that candle?
As to obsticles to over come, God is there for all of them. We are not meant to overcome them all. Some are to teach. Death is not overcome.
I've enjoyed your poem. It's nice to read that others have the same deep faith that can help us to conquor the fears of the world. Thanks again.
love, LinnAnn
ROFLOL Nicely done. giggle. well done. You cracked me up. I'm eating breakfast and I'm still laughing. You did a great job. I'm so glad I read this. I wasn't expecting much and was just going to read it because it was yours. lol It was fun and witty. I loved it. I do have a question, what is she going to do about him tomorrow? ROFLOL He might have another gun at home.
Nicely done
You cracked me up. I just loved it. You rhymed very well. I felt sort of the same way. No dating for 30 years after my divorce. I get it. Just got remarried 18 months ago.
The begging is so pathetical and so cute. I felt so sorry for the speaker in the poem. The last two verses were so cute. I loved the PLUNGE, not shoot or poke but plunge! just cracked me up.
Thanks so much for sharing this delightful poem.
Love, LinnAnn --Picture of our wedding
You made me wonder what the imitation was. If you have the time, I'd like to know, please.
Third verse, third line, loved it. Those letters can end up in the oddest places, even in the keyboard. I do not recall using pumice. However I am getting old.
They may miss the original point, lol but lap tops ability to 'spell check' is so much nicer. The pencil's erasure is not the same. lol
Thanks for sharing. reminded me of when my step brother stabbed me in the palm of my hand. ouch
Your rhyming pattern changed. Is that a special type? I take it there was a small crowd taking pictures of the bear? We have bear and deer. Deer I can deal with, clear fishing line. Not sure what stops the bears.
I love your asking in the poem if you should shoot or feed. I'd go for the shoot. However in our town it's against the law to shoot in city limits.
As a whole it rhymes, and you were creative! Let me know if the changing of the pattern is a real style and I'll upgrade the score. Tell me the name of the style.
Thanks for sharing. Great mental image of that bear. Did he get into your garbage?
You started off well and made me smile. I loved the 'tropical cheer'. lol
I don't think I know or even heard of The Cheeseburger in Paradise or the Changes in Latitudes. I take it Volcano is another song? I'll have to go to Ebay and get a cd with those songs. Thanks for the new titles I can get. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn
Good mental image of the baby in the incubator. I was also glad it was not grief.
Yes, part of a team. But although the troops protect each other, sometimes those in charge would cheat us. I tell everyone to take a picture of every form they sign. The Airforce cheated my son in law out of $65,000. They had the forms showing he extended but not the form for his bonus.
So true on the sense of self. I learned a lot about myself in basic training.
And you are right, never alone. I see others who have served not even the same branch and there is a camaraderie forever.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
Love, LinnAnn
I take it 'Lars' didn't have a cell phone to call you and let you know about the missing plug? I'[d put the 'rolling' emoji here but I don't think it's funny to you yet. Why did Lars build the deck six inches higher? That makes no sense to me. Did he put the carpet in? I never would have done that either. You are a good man to not blast him. This was a fun piece to read for most of it. Since it was true, I couldn't just laugh. Thanks for sharing.
Love, LinnAnn
I didn't get the first verse at all, sorry. Lights in the shade? What does that mean? If they are waiting to shine then how can they be seen?
It seems the second verse might be about the second coming and the rapture. Did I get that right? lol
I'm not sure if the third verse is about Paradise before judgement or if it's after judgement and in Heaven. I know we'll be put where we fit, sure hope I'm good enough.
My first thought of the fourth verse is Christmas isn't his birthday, but it's when we celebrate it. I have a feeling it's in April. I guess we'll know soon enough. lol
I enjoyed reading this and I'm thankful for you writing it and sharing it with us. God bless you.
Oh Jay, you made me smile. You not onlt wrote something great for your anniversary, you wrote two somethings great.
I like them both. They are both perky and happy. Each time I read them I smiled. Your rhyming is spot on and you used sords that aren't the same old ones. I am not nearly the poet you are. The part about ears.....lol I'm reading so I guess I'd better read them out loud so my ears are involved. I love your last line. It made me chuckle.
Thanks for sharing and was it a challenge I left you? lol
love, LinnAnn
Some lines could use some work on meter. The tempo gets a bit off now and then. The rhyming is great and the mental picture is also great. I did wonder if you actually would park on the sidewalk. lol One movie left for the kids. What a streak of luck good going.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Love, LinnAnn
Now that was some creative writing. Your lines rhymed and the tempo was right on. Good for you. I'd been reading Christmas this was the only New Years one I'd read and you made it fun. I have no idea what 'sporulating' means. lol You must love science. You put a lot of it in this. It made me smile. Good for you.
Thanks for sharing this.
love, LinnAnn
You might want to think about a few minor adjustment to keep the tempo in the lines even. You got most it right on. Your rhyming is great.
Verse six confused me a bit. Are in medicine? You used the word sutured. I didn't understand how that was meant. The carol sutured? If you have time I'd appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
Very nicely written. Your third line would fit better if maybe you took out the word 'that'. It is one syllable off but the rhyming is great. You voiced your sentiment very well, and you gave a great mental picture with your poem. You wrote mem'res creatively to keep the tempo uniform. You did that well. I think I'd add an 'i' mem'ries. It's the same syllable count. Thanks so much for sharing this.
love, LinnAnn
I am certainly glad you survived whatever the illness was. You gave a great visual image and the tenderness. Your rhyming was great. The syllable count was a bit off so it did make a small dent in saying it aloud. However, it did not detract from the heart warming sentiment you shared with us. Thank you so much.
You made me laugh. Maybe the stores wouldn't have Christmas in July but they do in September. lol
Your third verse reminded me of Christmas in Arizona. It did get cold, foster brother tied a sprinkler in a tree and come morning it was a beautiful icicle tree. It melted about two hours after the sun came up. you rhymed the melt and swelled my belt very creatively. I loved it.
Your last verse is the one that made me laugh. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Popping and cracking is a good start. The ones that sound like bombs going off aren't so welcome. I'm not sure what they are called but they are so loud they shake my house. The ones that spray out in a royal burst of color are wonderful. You are right. Those are a fantastic burst of welcome. Good job. I hope your independence day was great. Thanks for sharing.
This was very interesting. At first it sounded like you were doing mouth to mouth resuscitation.
'fresh air wafting past me on it's journey
to enter your lungs' and the 'learning to let go'.
The other parts didn't sound like that, So, was it a dying romance or was he dying?
You caught my attention and held it.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
love, LinnAnn
I do not think I've read this type of poem before. You really followed the rules and did a great job in getting all the right types of words on the correct lines. I'm impressed.
I haver to admit, I've never seen a dog aloof. roflol I've seen almost all cats aloof, but not a dog. You did a great job. Thanks so much for sharing this with me.
love, LinnAnn
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