I picked this telling poem from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for being an active member at the WDC for another year. Have a lovely day.
Coming to the poem, I should say it is a very sensitive rendering of self. Your imagination is pretty vivid and appeals to the eye and heart of the reader.
Whatever be the state of your mind, what I could visualize is that you have the ability to detach yourself from the physical body and see it like another person. That is very unique about it.
Now that you have put your feelings on paper, I am sure you are rid of your depression and return to normalcy.
Crush story is fine. It will be better if you edit the grammar components.
{ He said I will drop you. I am going from the same way.}
Put the direct speech in quotation marks.
( He said, "I will drop you. I am going from the same way".)
Follow the grammar rule, wherever you have direct speech and a comma before that.
"God's arrangement to make us together"
(Our meeting seems God's arrangement)
This story is fine with a flashback at its core. Your only problem is punctuation mostly. If you refer to good grammar text, you can do better.
I absolutely agree with you. My parents did a lot of "honking" too, while my siblings and I were growing. We did feel irritated, yet followed their advice and opinions regarding several things. We realized the value of encouragement in our later lives.
I appreciate the example given here. The goose that leads has a lot to do. Its positioning, matters for the rest of the geese to fly with a direction and benefit thereby.
This allegorical fiction about encouragement comes through quite clearly, which many would find worth paying attention to.
Indeed, encouragement is a key factor in finding success. I appreciate the simple way in which you talked about something quite profound.
College definitely contributes to personality development. I was very much like Rachel. It was only in college we get to meet different types of people. It is a rich experience. Cecilia did a great favor to Rachel by letting her find feet in college.
I could see panic, bitterness and confusion in Rachel, which you have portrayed very well indeed.
"When Rachel first figured out, she cried. She cried endlessly. Then she punched pillows,..."
Language flows free of flaws.
Style is your own.
Interesting read about the behavior pattern of an introvert.
I picked this short poem to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for completing another year at the WDC. Have a wonderful day!
I like the theme of your poem. You have shown how you have reached success, traveling on the road of risks and challenges.
You said, the reason behind your success is your determination. I agree, there is nothing like a strong will or will power.
Your imagery is impressive. With a few edits, this poem will shine better.
Edit-
"There were risk of many kind"
(There were risks of many kinds)
I like this phrase "outside the box." It is so meaningful and makes one curious. It is so constricting to stay locked up in the narrow interior for long. Yet, I like many, stayed there and thought that was all the world is. My life changed after I realized how really different the outside world is. I knew that I could breathe better and get all the benefits of freedom, of letting yourself go.
This poem is like an eye-opener to those who are prisoners of doubt, reserve, shyness and lack of self-confidence and most importantly, fear.
"Tunnels we made out of judgement and fear,
We no longer need in the sunny sky."
I picked this lovely telling story from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year of association with the WDC. Have a delightful day!
Music touches the soul and has the power of letting it experience great happiness. For the old lady, the melody you played must have been like an oasis in a desert. It obviously soothed her in way that had reflected in her eyes.
The teacher's words are worthy enough to follow as a significant and vital advice to those who are musically tuned.
Each sentence of the story is well crafted and attention to details attracts me.
" The candle on the small, round mahogany table only deepens the creases in her wizened face. "
A strange but a memorable encounter with a person who could refresh her sweet and musical past.
I saw this little piece about a small boy in your port and thought of reviewing it for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being an active member of the WDC for another year. Have a wonderful day!
I admire the clarity of your first memory. It is difficult to recall the very first memory so well. I notice that your mother is extremely pleasant and patient with her two-year old, who wrenched open her cabinet of bottles.
" it quickly turned soft as she saw the fascination I had looking at all the treasures within."
Each child is attracted by something that is unique to him or her. Your fascination with the bottles is your special like, I think.
The story of that bottle with " deepest purple hue" is fascinating. Imagine how it would affect a small kid when he looked through it. The world changes into a colorful world and gives him joy.
Nice little meaningful story told in lucid English.
So the curious question would be, whom did Elle Gardner marry ultimately? one of them, Gabriel or Judd? Or made a clean start with someone else from a town other than " a small county in South Carolina?"
Story looks pretty with a paragraph for each of the teenagers and one for introduction and another for conclusion. It is pretty engaging in its own limited scope. You could enlarge it and show some situations as to how would the girl decide whom to take on finally. Well, you cannot love two boys simultaneously. Being friendly is different from being in love.
You have created the conflict quite well.
Language is well handled with descriptive passages through the narration.
I chose to review this byte-size poem for the emotion you showed through it. Congratulations on completing another year of creative activity at the WDC. Congratulations and have a lovely day!
Well, many of us do hate Math forgetting its value to life and world too. You see time is based on math and many other things like our days in the calendar, our past, our age etc.
However, I fully understand your ire at the subject, especially if you are a student and if Math is a compulsory to make the passing grade. Many of us also hate the Math teacher, poor lady for no fault of hers.
Anyway, this is an entertaining poem with an equation and an effigy.
When love hits you in teens, you are thrown into a kind of turbulent sea. New sentiments and sensibilities are unavoidable. you become a victim of buffeting emotions. you have shown these emotions quite vocally in this free style poem.
"My mind is swept of everything I know?"
You think a world of her ways. She listens, understands and not judgmental at all like the folks you know so far in life. So this is an unusual experience, which remains on the mind and which you think about, you "reminisce."
The questions you ponder on are very naturally presented, because we all went through these experiences, those precious bewildering and baffling moments.
Your title is absolute spot on.
The end is truly like a climax for that period of time you went through.
Great story!
Experience is the best teacher. Protecting others with her skillful knowledge of martial art, Angela goes a long way. she fights the trouble-makers and assures Jackie of her ability to save Sara, her daughter, a bit of a prodigal.
I like this Angela's character because of various angles you have created in her. She tries to get away from home due to her mother's complicated life.
It is her experience with Jackie that helped her understand her own mother's misery.
Her resolve to rescue her mother from the clutches of a no-good lover ends the story.
You brought in the present chaos of racial injustice and brutalities, which is made to lend relevance to the story.
Finally, she understands mother's love and it is a good message that comes through quite clearly.
I find the narration very interesting. The way the flood rose gradually to completely submerge civilization is a fine example of nature's fury. It was truly alarming to see the your man swimming god knows for how many hours and to reach a strange place from nowhere. This looks terrestrial and out of the ordinary. For a moment, I wonder if it is just a dream of a catastrophe.
"Soon, through the rain, a faint orange figure appeared from the sky."
The lesson that we must learn is to treat nature as she deserves, with respect and love.
Floods are natural disasters. These occurrences are due to imbalances caused by pollution at different levels, I heard. The sooner we understand it, the better it would be for human race. Otherwise, we pay for it as you have so perceptively shown.
The guys at the end and their conversation were a bit of puzzle for me.
I chose this short story on nature from your port to review for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations for another year of creative activity at the WDC. Have a lovely day!
I fully agree with you that humanity needs to treat nature with love and respect. After all we are blessed by her year after year with food, water and air to breathe and enjoy the gift of life. We do not give her the special regard she deserves. Many treat her like dirt and many encash on her vast reserves of flora and fauna. There is a limit for atrocities committed against her. But being foolish and foolhardy, human race crossed that line of limit and you have diagrammatically shown the result of greed and lust for power.
A meaningful allegory that should drive sense into many of us, who still have to realize the value of Mother Earth.
Hi,
it is an engaging read. Rebecca's situation and her suffering are well shown. I understand that she was kidnapped and kept in captivity. The reason? How would they make profit out of her? What kind of business they run? Is it a cult organization or a crime club?
Similarly, you told us of her parents, who believed their daughter was killed and a thirty year old guy, who pleaded guilty. who is he? Why does do that?
At the end of the story we are given the news that Rebecca had escaped. How? who are her captors?
"a thousand miles away, Rebecca's mother, Maria, ...." A thousand miles from where?
The cell has imprisoned many and still counting. Out there, a number of willing slaves cannot do without the cell.
Its shape, face and prompt action and the way it brings the whole world to your palm and fingertips, have a mesmerizing effect on the owner.
You have shown the damage it can effect in one's life.
"Things more became surreal"
I know the feeling, almost teetering on the edge of normal world.
The metaphor you use is perfect.
"That techno-parasite'
The short study of a cell phone in appealing tercets is much appreciated.
We cannot guess how life leads us on through the avenues of time. All that is required of us is to attend to duty and serve the purpose with sincerity. In your case too, I see the same pattern at work.
You have told us of the your experience of changing Why me into why not in a meaningful way. We do have many doubts regarding why certain things are happening to us. If we have a little patience we do get all the answers and the pieces of jigsaw puzzle fall neatly in place.
Your selection to the job too is quite a wonder. It is our clean mind and unprejudiced attitude that help us win odds and come out turning the corner successfully.
Hi
I am really touched by the account of the mother and her pain of being separated from her children.Nothing is more torturous than living with your children away.
Your prose passage as well as the rhyming poem elaborate the pangs of pain you have been suffering from. Some couples consider to patch up and live together for the sake of children. This doesn't seem possible in your case.
This poem is quite reaching out. If your children read it, they would certainly share your love and pain. The poem shows the amount of attachment and affection you have for your kids.
Imagery of the rhyming verse shows the kids and their mom enjoying Easter, shopping in the mall and the fun of holiday.
The note of desolation and hopelessness comes through loud and clear.
It leaves me thinking that certain situations are beyond us. Best is to leave it to God and time.
Brief and crisp glimpse into history.
I am impressed by the information presented in this Acrostic.
The history of war is outlined and the result of which was freedom from colonization.
I can see it was a huge battle and sacrifice of life was enormous by the troops.
They had a strong motive and a great leader, commander and statesman like Washington. He was indefatigable and inspired the army to be equally so, till they achieved success.
In other words, you are looking for paradise on earth without the serpent. The idea of deleting all sorrows, memories of pain and regret is perfect. But, that I think is possible only for angels. We need to become angels first so that we can handle that powerful wand with which all the negative things get erased forever.
This poem shows the amount of undesirable things we have around us in this world. In a way it helps us to understand why we are not able to achieve cent percent happiness.
"I would stop my unpleasant desire"
Curiously, every second line has a key to solve the problems.
"If I could control it,
....
If I could manage it,
........
If I could get rid of it,"
I suppose if we could get to work on the above possibilities, then total happiness is not far away.
What a memorable experience!it is such tidbits that make life ever fresh and happy. Just imagine the sense of satisfaction both the mother and daughter must have had after they got the exclusive couch into the apartment. I should shout for the daughter for her indefatigable energy and intent to get it home.
The fifty dollars looked like a bonus after the tiring expedition.
The story is nicely penned and more interesting because it is from reality and not fiction.
Breaks occur
when there's
no respect or
consideration
between the partners.
This poem brings out the essentials that need to be put in place before you decide on a relationship.
It nurtures on care and consideration, on love and bonding both physical and mental, mostly in the heart and soul.
This looks like a "found poem" which shows how the poet found it as the partnership started cracking and showing breaches in life.
Lack of respect and love can demean one's self for both. That would be disastrous to all concerned.
Nice poem with meaningful repetition of certain feelings.
"I am nothing to you,
I am nothing to me."
I hear injury to self, anger at the way things turned out and helplessness in repairing the situation.
I find this nice poem quite attractive and chose to review it for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on the completion of another year at the WDC. Have a lovely day!
I see a lover much devoted to his sweetheart in this short but sweet verse. I think most women would like to have a man in their lives who cares for none but her.
"It is only because of you
that I care"
Short lines and few words spoken sincerely to avow and assure her of his undivided affectionate care.
This is how I feel at night when it drizzles, gradually giving way to a light rain. Harmless lulling rain is very welcome in comparison with rain that lashes at the windows and thunder that sounds like a threat to our existence.
Poet's imagery and thoughts are true to life.
Rain's quality is shown in a winsome opening line, containing answers to what, how and when.
"A passing shower taps lightly at my window
in the dark."
The possibility of a torrential rain and its outcome find a visual image.
"before some raging storm
pulls a tile or a slate from the roof,"
It is realized at the end to enjoy the present, and leave the rest to time.
Free style poem flows well.
Write on!
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