First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Very impressive. This is a good list of helpful tips for a person to fill their lives with useful things which hopefully will aid in avoiding much depression. I found the list to be a good challenge for myself.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
There is no plot but there is one character. That character is the person who gets depressed. I deal with the bi-polar illness and think this listing to be very beneficial.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
This is a good list and helpful for those facing depression of any type.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
It's a dog's life. That is exactly what your little story is all about. Well done. You set the setting perfectly and then pulled the string with the last sentence.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
One character who wakes up and wants to eat. The plot is perfect.
Review of Love verus Love
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
You have a very unpractical division between these two very different things. Love is not the all good thing that you portray it as in your comments. Nor is lust the complete inadequate poor cousin you seem to think it is. I disagree that they have to exist together.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
You start an interesting arguement but you do not carry it forward. I do not believe lust must be present with love. Do not confuse sex and lust and love which i think is where your argument loses validity.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Mothers can be so many different things to so many people. In your poem you have shown a couple of views. I am not sure what they mean for you. I know how I feel about mothers.
Review of Naked Murder
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
even at nudist retreats people carry towels and bags containing sun screen and similar things. I suppose the knife would not necessarily be confined to some orifce. But this is an interesting concept for searching suspects.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Two detectives having to do a body cavity search looking for a knife.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A very dispairing story. The first part of the story I could identify with but I had difficulty when the story turned to defeat. When a soldier, and I guess anyone passes that point to almost death there is a time where they need to be held or encouraged. This even goes for those who have done wrong.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A good idea for a story and you have handeled very well. It is hard to die alone and Having been with those dying I can hardly imagine it.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Share more of your opinions and write from your heart.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good view what high school is like. I found the short poem very indicative of my own feeling from high school (and that was a long time ago)
RYTHMN & FLOW: Five rhyming couplets that give us a little of the feelings of high school. It has a nice flow. It is best when read aloud.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A good poem written from the view point of a parent to a child. It speaks of memories and change and the inevitable loss but the fact that remembrance carries on.
RYTHMN & FLOW: Eight verses of four lines with a rhythmn pattern of A B C B.
Review of Calling Shotgun on the Bus
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
With the layout of public transportation buses I don't believe there is a shotgun seat. In a highway bus the right front seat is the shotgun position. You have to remember that the shotgun position comes from the old stage coach era when the seat beside the driver was for the guard who carried a blunderbuss or shotgun to protest the coach from highwaymen. so I wonder why the writer is even wondering about this.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The character mentions flakes and fruitcakes and I think he might be a part of that demographic. Someone is just trying to turn over the apple cart. Not that always is a bad thing.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An extremely short story with a simple message. But it is a good opening for something longer.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The We is not actually a character so there are no characters but it does provide openings.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
The initial portion of the story is the birth of a child and the labour that the mother is going through. The final portion is a child expressing his/her thanks to that same mother. It is well written.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The first portion has only the mother and the doctor in the delivery room.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS: it is a nice gesture. I hope you sent it to your mother. I am sure she would love it./c}
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
So the dilema belongs to both of them. She is saving him and His dilema is to forever look for her. The description of the setting is well done but I felt it, left a little something not told and was a little rushed
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Setting is great and the man seems well described but the story falls short in the description of the mermaid.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Take some of the words used in the early description and use them to describe the other main characterin the story,
FINAL THOUGHTS:
This a good start and contains lots of good material.
Review of An Old Flame
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Why that did bring a smile to my face. Deveral turns in the story and eventually a real laughter thought. Thank you.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Characters well done for a flash fiction piece.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
If comedy was your aim then I'd give you a bullseye.
Review of Coca-Bro
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
So even Santa Claus can be an escort. While not fully what i would consider an erotic story it does give the beginnings of a nice tale. The story is well told and well editted.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
I guess this is the real commericalization of christmas. The characters are well defined.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS: Continue the story. Get a little heat to warm santa.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A continuation of Shakespeare's "All the world's a stage" concept. It is a good poem and i enjoyed reading it.
RYTHMN & FLOW:
The poem has a nice flow but no consisent rhyming scheme,
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Thwe poem starts well with good balance and flow but after the second verse it seems to fall apart and I am not sure how to comment.
RYTHMN & FLOW:
I enjoyed the flow in the two verses even if io did not fully comprend it.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Finish the poem, or at least make it flow into the very end.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem writtten from the view point of the deceased. It seems the deceased has done something that his mother at least has regrets for him.
RYTHMN & FLOW:
Eight four line verses using the rythmn pattern of A A B B followed by a six line verse of three couplets. The verses flow well and the poem is effective when read aloud.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
It is a good poem as it stands. I wouldn't change it.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An interesting story where the crash victims are merely test subjects for some chamical company.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The plot is the essence of this story. This is a great idea. The characters need a little work but they are realistic and understandable also.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Take a little more time to detail the technical things in this story.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A poem with a great message. The story of abuse that is told within the poem is quite an important aspect that is of concern to all of us.. Well done with the sharing of that message.
RYTHMN & FLOW:
A rhyming scheme of A A B B is carried through all ten verses. The poem sounds good when it is read aloud.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Looks good to me.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Keep up the good work and write more.
dblameck
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Well I guess that would work as long as the pilot light is off. An inventitive way of dealing with an unruly child. However I think that two much exposure might cause brain damage. You have a warped mind to even think of this.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Babysitter says when she has problems with a child she put the childs head in the oven and turns on the gas.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A simple little story that puts a smile on my face because I can identify with the situation. Well done for such a short piece.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Go to any soccer field and watch and this story will be reproduced.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
Write more little episodes like this.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Children give us so many great vivual images and thereby great stories.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Well that is one way to stick to your diet. Your description has made me want that tastey treat even if it is only 9:30 in the morning. Well done.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Elizabeth and her reading options. At least she didn't lick the page.
Review of Jurassic Kid
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
An impressive child who knows the names of each of the Jurassic dinosaurs. There are at least 270 different jurassic dinosaurs. We aren't given Timmy's age but I wonder how much a one year old understands.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Timmy and his one year old brother while Timmy recites the names of the dinosaurs that are pictured on the magnets.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
A simple story with a turn of a phrase to end it.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
Jeremy who I suppose works at the power stataion and the green backed turtle who cut the power to the valley when he comes in contact with high voltage wires.
SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:
No suggestions. I saw no spelling or grammatical errrors.
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
This sounds like a submissive's prayer and desire. It is well done and I found it fascinating.
PLOT & CHARACTERS:
The characters as always the sub and the dom. Slave and master.
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